Relations with a junior partner are less controversial than before, and have many advantages. But there are also cons. Dating a young man or guy - is it worth it to venture such a life adventure?

Relations with a young man cease to be something exotic. Couples in which a woman is older are gaining popularity. Especially in twenty-year-old boys you can notice a kind of passion for older women. But beautiful ladies are not far behind (secular chronicles only confirm this trend). And they can be understood! Dating is interesting, the partner is already splashing hormones and also does not yet have deep-rooted bad habits ...

Divide your age by 2, and then add to result 7. How much is it? This, by Western standards, should be the lower age limit of your partner.

Of course, this state of affairs has its own reasons: relations with a young man have many advantages. However, there is also a "dark side" - we will consider all this.

Dating an older young woman: the benefits of relationships

Sex, sex, sex

Men reach their peak sexual form in the region of twenty years, when testosterone production is greatest. In turn, women experience their best moments in the region of thirty or forty.

The younger partner as a whole has more energy and a desire to experiment and try some new things in life (not only in bed, but also there). Testing all kinds of new products increases the production of dopamine, and this increases the desire to spend time with you

Variety of dates

Young men, as mentioned above, love to try new things. Therefore, meetings with them often do not become classic romantic dinners, but "savoring" life in different ways. When meeting with the young, be prepared for the fact that one day he will take you for a walk, on another - he will pull you on a bungee. Thanks to creative dates, you will not be bored with each other for a long time.

Inspiration

The youngest guy is a volcano of energy that inspires at the same time, helps to survive the second youth. When your partner is active, working, striving to realize his dreams, and you begin to do the same.

Appearance

Young men take care of themselves, their appearance and attractiveness. Their appearance is important for themselves, but also for the partner, because it stirs up passion in a relationship.

Desire to learn

People say that you can’t teach the old dog new tricks. Maybe this is an ugly comparison, but very true. An older partner or peer already has his own habits (including bad ones), addictions that will be difficult to get rid of, and this is even under the optimistic condition that the other person will show a will to cooperate. The younger man himself will want to study and will be attentive to your suggestions.

Less life baggage

Naturally, the older we get, the more experience we have. A young man means less experienced. Most likely, he had fewer disappointments in the past, and because of this he will be more frank and open with you. He still did not have time to burn himself many times. In addition, less experience also means that he had fewer “exes” with whom he could compare you. And he probably has no children from a previous relationship.

Should I meet a young man: cons

The difference in lifestyle and mentality

Do not be surprised if he periodically wants to take a “vacation from the relationship” and spend time with friends whom he perceives as his brothers. In addition (probably it will not be very easy for you to transfer), say, 10 years - this is actually not just a difference in age, but a generational change. Your childhood and youth were completely different - it is not surprising that it will be difficult for you to find a common language. You still climbed trees, and he was born with a phone under his arm and at every step takes a selfie for instagram? Of course, everything can turn out for you, but you must immediately understand that there will be problems.

Pressure

The younger man may feel cornered because he does not feel that his time has already come for serious statements and decisions. Meeting a guy or a man younger than himself can be difficult, because he is not ready to take responsibility for a partner, for example, deciding to marry. He may be much more impressed with just being a couple and acting as a guy, not a groom or husband. And this can be perceived by you as a lack of real feelings.

Even greater pressure is felt due to the ticking of the biological clock: maybe yours are already ticking with might and main, and it is not necessary at all. Women have a special need to create a family between 20-30 years of life. In men, it appears a few years later. So, if everything else is your boyfriend younger than you, you can only hope that he will become an exception, confirming the rule, or patiently wait for the awakening of his father's instinct.

The need to comply

By deciding to meet a younger than you gentleman, you doom yourself to torment about your attractiveness and constant comparison with younger potential rivals. Of course, this is a powerful incentive that brings a lot of positive fruits. However, the struggle for unfading beauty, harmony and youth can turn into an exhausting marathon with an unpredictable finish.

Money

The matter is prosaic, but with time it becomes more and more important. A young man will probably have lower social and financial positions than you, because he has less experience. Or perhaps he still studies and is not yet a free bird, but a student who lives on a scholarship and receives money from his parents.

At first, maybe this will not bother you. But if your relationship develops into something more serious and lasting, in the long run it can be a burden for you.

Social stigma

If you enter into a relationship with a younger person and begin to meet actively in public, you need to prepare for the fact that people can look at you askew. Some may think that you want to prove something to yourself by this connection, others - that your partner needs a mother, and not a partner in your person. People are evil and sarcastic, so get ready for it in advance and ... live your life. Gall comments should not affect your happiness.

Is it worth it to meet with the young - each woman must decide for herself, having weighed all the pros and cons. However, it is important to understand that all relationships — with a younger or older man — go through certain crises and face many difficulties. Do not despair: if you really value your relationship, then you can certainly find ways to solve problems with your partner, regardless of what age difference you have.

Important information:  Those who have read to the end all the recommended materials listed here: - quit drugs.

Try it and you! It works, regardless of age or type of drug.

Definitely there is no answer. It all depends on what kind of person he is and, most importantly, what is his family.

The last aspect is the most important, because if the family itself is unhealthy, then the chance is too greatthat after a while he will start again and they won’t help and contribute to his cure.

In general, the most important thing here is to look at his current affairs. Not words, deeds!  If he sings songs about how soon he will make millions, but in fact, has no money even for cigarettes, hasn’t closed a single loan, then it’s better to calm down and remove the noodles from the ears.

But, let's take it in order ...

In what cases is it absolutely impossible to start a serious relationship with a former drug addict?

If your young man himself never mentioned drugs, but you accidentally found out, asked, and he began to bustle - think it over!

If he doesn't tell you anything  about his former use, does not talk about how he gave up, how long and what he used, then he IS ANOTHER ADDICTAN.

Also, if he talks about use as if   there is nothing to worry about  and doesn’t list the problems that the drugs brought him - HE IS NOW ADDICTIVE.

No, he may not use anything at this moment, but here   his psychology was not healthy. To this day, he is captive of self-deception and simply does not realize how serious this is.

And, if he is now at that level, then a breakdown is inevitable. I highly recommend you  try to treat him or somehow bring to the truth, if you don’t have an unearthly love.

Better get away from him and find a more predictable guy. Family life with a drug addict is sheer hell  and not every wife can make him quit. Therefore, if the relationship has not yet gone far, it is better not to develop it.

Be sure to watch out if his family is silent  about the use and in every possible way avoids this topic. So, they are also dishonest and in the future you will face big problems if he starts again.

A normal family that helped him quit and prevented use in every way would not behave as if nothing had happened, tell you the details.

And, if you received an inarticulate answer to your question - run! Means they didn’t treat himthey will not heal and will not help, in which case.

In general, such a family - absolutely unhealthy morally  and this may affect other aspects of life that are not just about addiction.

Also: if the former drug addict has big health problems, for example, Hepatitis C or HIV, then, i think it’s not worth talkingthat it’s better to break off the relationship than sooner or later “catch” a deadly disease.

No love can cost a life!

In addition to these explicit three NO, you should know other disadvantages that may entail a relationship with a former drug addict.

All this, of course, may not be, but ... In this case better to overtake than not to overtake. Although, in fairness, you can find not a former drug addict, but he will turn out to be an excellent bastard, a reveler and further on the list.

1. He may have many outstanding loans.

Be sure to check with your young man this moment, because outstanding debts are extremely bad.

If he is now paying them hard - this is a good sign, then he has a very serious intention to return to normal.

If they dangle with his tail, then keep in mind that this problem will concern you tooif you start living with a former drug addict. No, you won’t have to pay them, but you will no longer have the opportunity to take something on credit.

And this, you see, good help for a young family.

Then, large amounts of unpaid loans put an end to him, like a traveler. Are you ready not to go anywhere with him?  Are you ready to change your free life and travel to a gray existence, but in love?

See for yourself, but as practice shows, love quickly ends when a young family a lot of problems and limitations. The wife will certainly begin to feel discontent and frustration that she has contacted the loser ...

2. He may have no property at all

And here we are no longer even talking about some kind of real estate and a car. Him may not be at all  elementary things: a camera, a power tool for a home, a computer, a normal mobile phone ...

That is, such trifles,   which everyone has  working people who did not have drug problems in the past.

And if he has nothing like that of a Latvian, then you will have to make all this together, because, one love is full and you will not be happy.

But, if it works stably, then you can make money very quickly. If, of course, he won’t break ...

And if it breaks, then you will not only not make money, he will drag your property to the pawnshop!

3.He may have problems getting a driver’s license.

If you want your future husband to be behind the wheel, then with a former drug addict this can be problematic.

If he has no rights,   be sure to askwhether they were, at all. If yes, and they were taken away, then in 99% of cases - for refusing the examination, which is punishable not only by the removal of rights, but also by a large fine.

That is, to re-obtain the rights - need to pay this penalty. Think, are you ready for such difficulties?

4.He may have a criminal record

And that means that not for every job  he will be accepted, also, you will not be able to participate in many emigration programs, also, your unborn child will not be able to go to serve in the police ...

In general, if you are already planning a life together with a former drug addict, then count everything to the smallest detail. Maybe you had a dream to win the Green Card lottery? And with such a person you have to give up the dream.

5. You will not have a circle of normal friends

Former drug addicts   rarely manage to keep in touch  with normal society, old friends, colleagues.

At the time of use, they communicate in drug addiction circles, while very dishonest  with old friends (for example, they borrow and don’t repay)

As a result, when they give up drugs, they refuse to communicate with friends - drug addicts, but here they don’t have normal friends.

And this means that in case of any problems, he and no one will turn to. A trifle, to intercept some amount for a couple of days or call someone to transport furniture ... In general, think.

6. He may have problems with work

Therefore, it may have that he was very spoiled at the time of use and i'm used to throwing everything halfway. It will be incredibly difficult for him to work stably, to step up the career ladder, to remain silent once again before his bosses ...

After all former addict is quite different  from people who have never used and have worked steadily all their lives.

7. He may have health problems

Yes, it is trite, but he can be physically weak and exhausted. And this means that he will not be able to go moonlight as a loader in case of emergency, he will not be able to engage in a garden, for example. Yes, a lot of things can not ...

Be sure to pay attention to his health, namely, to: heart, liver. A former drug addict and at 30 may literally be semi-disabled and endurance - like an old man.

Do you need it?

8. He can not stand the simple and boring life

Well and the most important thing I left for a snack. No matter how you sing the songs of the former drug addict that he wants stability and family,   think thrice.

Most likely, he just doesn’t know   what does it mean to just live, something all the time to make money, it’s boring to spend evenings, regularly clean up the apartment and constantly carry out some kind of household chores.

Still, former drug addicts, generally do not understand the word “necessary”. This must be recognized, because your boyfriend, who will turn into a husband, can very quickly find your ordinary family life - intolerable boredom and hopeless, gray pastime.

Wives are surprised: how ??? How does it make no sense? We lived normally, got housing, gave birth to a child ...

But, for a former drug addict, this is all hard work and not at all the norm. He wants not routine and stability, but thrills and doing nothingalas ...

In general, what can I say? Former drug addict - problematic person in all aspects. But, if your love outweighs all the risks - try it! You never know? Maybe your boyfriend will be the best husband in the world?

People are not arranged as simply as they themselves would at times like. It happens that you broke up with the full realization that these relationships were superfluous in your life. Or maybe you broke away from a person “with pain and blood” and worried for a long time. Now everything is all right with you, though sometimes you still remember your former love, and it becomes somehow alarming in your soul. But you do not live in the past. You have a new partner, communication with which suits you. Love and mutual respect are the solid foundation on which you build your new relationship.

Nevertheless, you are well aware that the feelings for the former partner were not completely gone. Despite the fact that you love your present life and do not want to return to the past, it is still beckoning and addictive. “Just look at him (or her), and that’s it,” - so you persuade yourself. But deep down you know how this ends. Old feelings will not return. Relations with someone from the past can never be built anew. But to destroy new ones in a sudden rush is easy. Or you restrain yourself, really enjoy one meeting, but the meeting will cost you dearly. You will scatter what has just begun to heal.

It is better to refuse to meet with former love if you are not sure that you have no feelings for this person.

When can I date ex

You understand very well that you cannot enter the same river twice. You have changed, and this person too. Both you and your former partner have a good personal life, you are both married or have a strong, happy relationship. It is possible that in the past you have been tied rather by friendship than genuine passion. It was interesting and fun together.

In this case, the meeting can go well if you can find a common language and speak without recalling the past.

Psychologists recommend meeting with a former partner only to people who do not hold grudges and are not fascinated by the past.

Much depends on your character.

There are people who have the talent to be friends with their ex. They sometimes even manage to accomplish what others consider a miracle: to gather at the same table several of their former partners and one present, and at the same time have a great time, being sure that all those present sincerely have fun. If you know how to be friends, if you forgot past grievances and feelings that gripped you, then meeting with former love can be the beginning of a new great friendship.