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How to behave a man with a pregnant wife: help and support

We must not forget about such a phenomenon as the psychological state of a pregnant woman. Very often, even those ladies who in the usual state were distinguished by composure and restraint, become nervous during pregnancy, they have constant disturbing forebodings, and sometimes pregnant women also have nightmares. Naturally, the psycho-emotional state of a woman directly affects the child. And no matter how hard a woman tries to control her behavior, she still will not be able to cope with all the problems alone.

But a husband who knows how to behave with a pregnant wife can help a woman in the most magnificent way. First of all, it should be said that the help and support of a loved one, who is also the father of a child, helps a woman during pregnancy have a different attitude to her fears and anxiety. But at the same time, it is clearly not enough so-called “duty” politeness when a husband engaged in his interests indifferently inquires from his wife expecting a child: “Well, how are you? Are you okay?"

In this case, the husband during pregnancy does not even try to pretend that he is at least minimally worried about his wife’s condition and her mood. He clearly delineated the boundary of his own life, in which his wife and future baby are given a disappointingly small place. Of course, such an attitude on the part of a man is offensive to a pregnant woman. After all, she remains alone with her problems and fears.

How should a man with a pregnant woman behave in order not to hurt her feelings? In fact, an attentive man will surely try to give his wife as much attention as possible when she is in an interesting position. After all, it was at this time that the foundation was laid for future family relations - a man, a woman and a child. In the future, inattention and neglect of a woman, when she expects a child, can turn into the most undesirable consequences for a man.

Accept her for who she is

The first thing you need to remember is that this is not the best time to sort things out. If before pregnancy something didn’t suit you in your woman, try to close your eyes to it or part completely. Weigh the pros and cons. Better in peace, but apart, than to relive daily quarrels together.

Rude, insulting, screaming, scandals and even more so beat a pregnant woman in no case. Make a decision once and do not step back from it. You are together to the end and are ready to endure everything or do not intend to be with this woman a day more. Do not depart from the planned plan and follow it, as Christ did at Calvary.

Do not provoke scandals. Any of your actions can greatly affect the well-being of a woman. A new organism is being formed inside it, how will you live then, if it is your fault with a small creature that some kind of trouble happens?

Women and so can cry out of the blue, what can we say about those in the body of which serious hormonal changes occur? With your behavior, you can provoke a tantrum, followed by pain, an ambulance call and a hospital. You need it? You will experience a strong sense of guilt, so any attempt to change your spouse now is not a good idea.

Some men, on the contrary, it is during pregnancy that they begin to raise their woman, operating on the argument that very soon she will turn into a mother. Do not worry about this.

Believe me, pregnancy itself and the birth of a child, of course, will change your spouse, you will not even need to participate in this "event" in any way. Just wait and see what the woman expects next.

Get interested and take care

Any girl is aware of her pregnancy, she understands that she will soon become a mother. It is she, and not you, who feels pushing the baby, it is she who sees how the body becomes clumsy and heavy. She has no way to forget that she will be giving birth.

Now she most of all needs the support of her spouse and his participation. Learn about her trips to the doctor, ask if she froze during a walk, if she’s tired of going to the movies with friends and so on. You make a trifle, but for her it is a big deal.

You may not be an altruist. It is beneficial for you. You are probably familiar with cases when a wife sends her husband at three in the morning to the store for strawberries. This seems to be a normal practice. Indeed, some girls are in urgent need of certain products.

However, if you do not show care and attention, then the physical need can be combined with the psychological one: “She not so much needs fried potatoes at five in the morning, but the feeling that her husband loves her and is therefore ready to rush to the ends of the world, for the sake of things important for the baby vitamins. "

The more “small amenities” you make for your wife, the more she will tend to behave roughly and not scandalize you.

Help your wife around the house

Pregnancy is a big burden on the body, however, the responsibilities of the expectant mother, neither at work nor at home, are becoming smaller. Even if the spouse does not complain about feeling ill, do not doubt that very often it will be more beneficial and more pleasant for her to lie down and relax than to wash the dishes or do the cleaning, especially at the end of the term, when it is simply physically difficult to do some household chores. Take some household chores on yourself, without waiting for a request or reproaches: you can go to the store for groceries, vacuum, take out the trash.

Be patient with your wife’s wishes and requests

The probability of a joke situation when a pregnant wife sent her husband on a winter night to pick strawberries is very low in real life. But other future moms have different requests and whims of varying degrees of absurdity. The whole blame for the changes in the hormonal background. Your wife may begin to feel sick from your perfume, which she herself gave once. Strange preferences may appear in food: from "classic" pickles to something exotic. At the level of physical sensations, there may also be changes: a woman may begin to irritate touching some parts of the body. Take this patiently and with understanding: take away what is not pleasant for the wife, and try to fulfill her requests.

By the way, requests may concern not only the elimination of annoying odors and the purchase of “sweets”. Pregnant women often need physical assistance: massage of the feet and lower back, help in shoes (after all, with a large belly it is very uncomfortable to bend down). Such help from a husband is very touching and important: when helping, you make it clear that you understand the position of your wife and accept all the changes that happen to her during this period.

In general, advice for a pregnant woman is just rock, haunting her all 9 months. Friends who have given birth, work colleagues, neighbors, relatives - all strive to give advice. No matter how you, as a man, delve into the wisdom of pregnancy, you will not become an expert in this matter (unless you are a female doctor, of course). But because you can advise your wife? What was read on the Internet or heard in your circle of friends? Believe me, spouse has already been provided with such advice. Instead of advising something, figure out what point of view the wife holds on this or that issue (how to get rid of edema, how to give birth, how to feed) and just support her in this opinion.

Protect your wife from negativity

Pregnant women are very sensitive, sentimental and suspicious. Any unpleasant word or even a hint of it can cause tears and strong feelings in the soul. The emotional state of the future mother is an important factor in the successful course of pregnancy, therefore it is better to protect the wife from any negative (programs or news, which feature cruelty, murder, etc.). It is especially important not to let your wife know about pregnancy and childbirth. It is important to find a balance between just background information about some problems and frank “horror stories”. Reference information can be obtained in a book or encyclopedia for pregnant women, but access to online forums where women in colors talk about an uncomplicated pregnancy or a difficult birth is better to block.

It is worth protecting from negativity in communication. Some people, even before pregnancy, were unpleasant to their spouse, and with some, relations deteriorated already in the process. The state of mind of a future mother is much more important than duty politeness, therefore it is better to avoid meetings with unpleasant persons, even if it is one of relatives. For them, you can always come up with a legend about the poor health of the spouse.

Do not let the marital love fade away

While waiting for the baby, the emphasis in family life is greatly shifted. Husband and wife are preparing to become parents, and their marital feelings often go by the wayside. This must be remembered by those who, by pregnancy and the birth of a child, seek to strengthen the family: the effect may be the opposite. So that marital love does not fade, you need to support it, and during pregnancy it is the husband’s task. The fact is that a pregnant wife starts a natural program and thinks, first of all, about offspring. Do not forget to pay attention to your wife precisely as a woman, and not just as the future mother of your child. Compliment, do not forget about romance with flowers and candles. This is a huge contribution to your relationship, because pregnancy is only the beginning of a new stage in family life, and without a deep sense of love for each other it is impossible to raise a child together.

Of course, serious changes in pregnancy are not familiar to every man. Some women and in position remain themselves, without whims, new preferences and strong emotions. However, a reverent and caring attitude towards the wife on the part of the husband will certainly not hurt in any case. Well, and if you replaced your wife, these tips will help to correct the relationship and survive the pregnancy without quarrels and misunderstandings.

Go for an ultrasound

Be sure to go for an ultrasound, if you have such an opportunity. This, again, is more beneficial for you. After some time, the man gets very tired, the woman takes out the brain, but nothing seems to be happening, the girl just gets bigger.

Seeing your own child, you will understand why, in fact, you “suffer”. These are unforgettable emotions that will give you strength, energy and most importantly patience.

After the second or third ultrasound, when the child is already clearly visible, the shape will become clear, you will have no questions what the man should do when the woman is pregnant. Everything will become obvious. You yourself will want to perform feats and love your one and only.

I can also advise you on the book “Super Dad” by Viktor Kuznetsov. It describes in detail what needs to be done within 9 months and the first years of a baby's life. If you strive to become an excellent father, the book will be a great help in your endeavors, and the woman will be pleased that you bought it, even if you have not mastered it to the end.

Behavior of a man during his wife’s pregnancy: family relationships

Many may object by reading all of the above. Indeed, most men simply do not have time to pay attention to their own wife, because they devote the lion's share of their time to work. And then it turns out not to pay attention to the spouse, and even more so not to worry about her current psychological state. But, reasoning in this way, men themselves prepare the ground for the emergence of many further problems. After all, a woman sensitively captures all the shades of a man's mood. And even more acutely she feels everything when she expects a child.

The behavior of a man during the pregnancy of his wife should be adequate to the state of the future mother. During pregnancy, a woman aggravates all her feelings, and she, more than ever, needs not only care and attention to the material side of life, but also spiritual unity with her own husband. After all, the birth of a child is actually a proof of mutual love, of course, if the act of conception was not accidental.

Researchers have proven that in families where the attitude of a man towards a woman during pregnancy is reverent, attentive, children are born more resilient and healthy. There is nothing surprising in this. The psychological comfort experienced by the mother during the expectation of the baby directly affects the formation of the child's body. And, accordingly, a son or daughter will be born healthy and strong.

Naturally, such a perspective should inspire future fathers to have a reverent attitude towards their wife during pregnancy. Knowing how to behave and realizing that this is a very complex process in which there are absolutely no irrelevant, secondary details, a man must understand that absolutely everything affects a woman and a future baby, that is, nutrition, lifestyle, living conditions, rest, work, mood and attitude of others. All these factors add up to one picture, and as a result, the psychoemotional state of the woman and her expectant child is formed, with which she is currently a single whole.

To understand that which is impossible to experience

Of course, men are not allowed to carry and bear children, and they are not able to fully understand the joys and difficulties of this sacrament. But this does not mean that they cannot empathize. It is very important to be able to inform your husband about your condition. Constantly whining and complaining, of course, to nothing, especially since a rare pregnancy is actually so difficult. In many ways, the condition of a woman depends on her mood. From constant complaints and self-pity, the state of health does not improve. At the same time, to believe that pregnancy is not a disease, but a special condition, is not always easy. Especially if it begins with early toxicosis. Let the man may not know what kind of condition this is, but believe that you feel bad, and he may well sympathize. It’s good if you’re not just complaining, but also tell what actions your spouse can ease your condition. To know that it is bad for a loved one and not be able to help is very difficult. You can ask your husband to get what you need from the refrigerator if you are irritated by the smells from there. For the same reason, your spouse is unlikely to refuse to take out the trash or not to use the perfume that has become unpleasant for you. Let him hang or take off his clothes if it becomes difficult for you to raise your arms high. But you should not try to shift all household chores to your husband under the pretext of your well-being. Housework - this is the minimum physical activity that a pregnant woman even needs. And the spouse will hardly be pleased to realize that they are trying to manipulate him. Be sure to ask for help where the husband can provide her and where you really need her, but do not abuse your position.

It happens that the husband flatly refuses to help his wife with the housework. This is especially difficult for a woman who sees the help of her husband as a manifestation of love. It is not at all necessary that a man’s refusal to do household chores means his indifference to his half. Perhaps in his family there was a clear division of work into “female” and “male”, and he grew up with the idea that there were things that he should not do. In this case, you should turn to the sense of justice of the spouse. Once, wives mostly did not work and only worked on the house and children, and husbands fed the family. Since then, times have changed, and once the typically male role of earner in most families is shared between both spouses. Is it not fair to divide women's responsibilities so that the burden on the husband and wife is the same? An important argument may be the message that when your spouse helps you, you feel loved. Sometimes a husband refuses to do housework due to the fact that he is the main earner and is very tired. If you still need help, you cannot do your homework because of well-being, you should think about a hired assistant.

Perhaps every woman enjoys the interest of the spouse in the course of pregnancy. A real miracle happens - a little man grows inside you. It is pleasant when the husband shares with you the joys and anxieties of the baby’s expectations, is interested in your well-being and the opinion of the doctors, and it’s a shame to see the spouse’s indifference. The reaction of men to the news of impending paternity is very different. Someone immediately begins to feel like a father and is happy about it, while someone needs a lot of time to realize the change and accept it. In this case, the man often looks indifferent, although in fact he is experiencing his own anxieties.

Sometimes a husband is not only interested in his wife’s condition, but also has his own opinion on how she needs to behave. And this opinion does not always coincide with the views of the wife and even with the recommendations of the doctor. Most often, the spouse listens only to the words of her mother and believes that her experience can be trusted. What if you don’t like these recommendations at all? It’s hardly worth brushing aside and ignoring her husband’s words: after all, this is also a manifestation of his care and excitement for you and the child. It is unlikely that resentment and tears will help: he would rather write it off to your condition than finally realize what he himself is not right about. But to discuss everything seriously and come to an agreement in most cases is possible. Often it is enough to remind the spouse that the information of his mother is already outdated. Surely she does not know all the nuances and judges only by herself: she recalls that she was forbidden and recommended once to her and now gives the same advice to her daughter-in-law. Does she have a medical education? If not, there’s nothing to argue about: your doctor probably knows better, which is good for you. If all these arguments do not apply to the spouse, if he doesn’t even want to think about the fact that his mother may be mistaken, all that remains is to agree with him and ... do it his own way. Because disputes take up a lot of time and effort, and they are now much more necessary for you for more positive activities.

Language of love

Have you ever heard that love lives in marriage for the first year, maximum for the first three years, and then is replaced by habit, if the family does not break up at all? It really happens quite often. Why is this happening? Where does love go and is it possible to do something so as not to lose it? Indeed, right now, in anticipation of the baby, I especially want the world he will come to be full of love.

For love to live for years, it must be created constantly. If you start to act like a person behaves when he loves, then most likely your husband will respond with a sincere feeling. And how do people behave when they love? They give gifts, look at each other kindly, listen to a loved one, touch him, willingly concede in small things, say nice things, strive to please their beloved in every way. Even if you don’t feel the tide of love at the moment, you can still do it all. No matter what anxiety pregnancy brings, one should not forget that the child is the fruit of love, this is what now forever connected you with this man. It often happens that the spouses actually have feelings, but they do not find expression. Different people have different ability to express their feelings. This is easy and pleasant for some, while others are much more restrained both in utterances and actions. This does not mean that a restrained person does not love - loves, but does not know how or cannot afford to express it. Often in marriage, one spouse is “hotter” and the other more “cold." It happens that the first begins to take offense at the second and ceases to show his love. Unfortunately, usually this only leads to the fact that the mutual feeling gradually fades. At the same time, when one of the spouses takes care, shows that he loves, the second is infected and inspired, he has a desire to do the same.

Another common problem is when a husband and wife talk about love in different languages. For example, the wife wants to hear something pleasant, and the husband guesses only to give gifts or express his feelings through touch, hugs, kisses. As a result, a woman often begins to think that her friend does not love her, and he, in turn, does not understand what does not suit her - because, as it seems to him, he makes it clear that he feels for her. During pregnancy, every woman especially needs love and care, and the ability of spouses to pony each other's mother becomes an important condition for maintaining a good climate in the family.

Psychologists distinguish 5 main languages \u200b\u200bof love.

Spending time together is not just talking. Many people feel loved when their dear person is engaged in one thing with him. It can be a trip to a concert or a picnic in the forest, even a joint cleaning is any matter that both of them like or would like one of the spouses, and the second does not mind. When you do something together, you have common memories. This can be a source of joy for your family.

• Words of encouragement. These are compliments, and praise, and an expression of gratitude - all you can say to a pleasant spouse that can please him, Words of encouragement should not be a flattery, an attempt to achieve something. What has been said sincerely, for the sole purpose of delighting a loved one and is received with gratitude, causes a desire to repay the same. The intonation with which you speak is important. After all, it is capable of changing, distorting the meaning of words.
• Time spent together. Conversations and any joint activities are the language of love of many people. The most important thing here is to pay attention to your spouse. After all, being together is not the same as being close to home. For example, if a husband and wife are watching TV at the same time, they may not even notice each other - all the attention is on the screen. To be together, you need to turn off the TV-zor and look at each other. But just watching is not enough. Need a general lesson or conversation. When a husband or wife complains that the other half does not speak with him or her, this does not always mean that the person does not open his mouth. Many people know how and love to speak, but few people can listen. In a conversation, it is important to understand what a person wants, to catch his emotions, a real need.
• Gifts are visible symbols of love. Unfortunately, after marriage, people often forget about it. Soup-friends often think that gifts are a waste of money. Thrift is a good quality for a family man, but isn’t love a worthy investment? Choosing a gift is not always an easy task. I must say, people whose language of love is gifts are not too concerned about their price. They really care about attention. And therefore it’s not scary that not always, there is an opportunity to buy something expensive. If it’s hard for a person to please, then most likely this is not his language of love.
• Help. As a rule, a woman needs help more often at home than a man. For some wives, the husband’s participation in homework is unnecessary - they themselves do well. Others also cope, but the husband’s help is accepted as a manifestation of love and care. If your su-pug often criticizes you for not having a clean house and not cooked dinner, then help is his language of love. He wants you to take care of him. The trouble is that orders kill love, while requests help express it. Do not let yourself be commanded - this is not good for good relations. And of course, try not to make demands yourself. Even pregnancy does not give it the right. But learning to ask is important. An excellent way to destroy relationships is to assume that the spouse must guess what you want from him and be offended if he does not. Firstly, people do not read each other’s thoughts, although sometimes they guess. Secondly, few people are pleased to feel that they are getting something from him, blackmailing an insult: do it or I will be offended. The husband can refuse to fulfill your desire only because of this.
• Touch. For some people, this is the only way to feel love for themselves. It is important for them to hold hands, it is necessary that they kiss and hug, Otherwise, such a person begins to doubt that he is loved. Of course, an important part of the language of touch is sexual relations. But expressions of love can also be expressed by fleeting touches: kisses upon meeting and parting, stroking in passing, short hugs. If this language of love is not very important for you, if you do not know it, learning is not so easy. But if it is important to the spouse, you should learn the language of touch. After all, it is very important to speak the same language with your loved one.

Have you already defined your language of love? It becomes clear to many how much they see the names: words of encouragement, time spent together, gifts, help, touches. People in whose life there is a lot of love, and those who are sorely lacking it, often find it difficult to determine their language of love. If the answer was not immediately found, try to ask yourself the following questions. When do you feel loved? What do you want most from your beloved? What really hurts you all? If you are very upset that your husband does not help around the house, then your language of love is help. If any criticism really hurts, you need words of encouragement. Another way to determine your language of love is to remember what you most often ask your spouse for. Most likely, this is what you most need. And finally, remember how you yourself most often express the love of what you are doing. Most likely, you expect the same from your spouse.

In the same way, you can understand in what language your soup expresses your feelings. Does he often touch you or give gifts, say words of encouragement or help? What does your husband often ask you about? When you understand which language of love is most important for a spouse, you just have to start speaking it. Husband and wife do not always express their feelings in the same way. A rare person speaks all five languages \u200b\u200bof love. Sometimes it is difficult to learn a foreign language. But this is the work that is sure to pay off.

To make the conversation a joy ...

You can master the art of conversation. To do this, try to learn the following techniques:

• Look into the eyes of the interlocutor. This will help you not to be distracted and show your spouse that you are really listening to him.
• Do not be distracted by extraneous matters. If at the moment you are busy with something - say about it: "Now I'm busy, wait a minute, please, then I can listen to you." This request cannot offend, unless, of course, you keep your promise.
• Try to catch the emotions of the interlocutor. To correctly understand what a person means, you can only know how he feels. Do not be afraid to check yourself, ask again: "You look upset, probably you were upset that ...". This will also show your spouse that you are listening carefully.
• Watch for facial expressions and gestures. In what position does the beloved sit, what is his expression on his face, how much does he stick on? This says a lot about what really happens to a person. After all, often words and non-verbal communication of the body contradict each other. In such cases, it is worth paying more attention to the message of the body - facial expressions and gestures. Be sure to check your guesses, ask again what the interlocutor feels at the de les.
• Do not interrupt. Unfortunately, a rare person can not rush to express their own opinions. Nevertheless, it is important to learn this if you really want to understand your interlocutor.

When two are looking one way

When loving people are united by common aspirations, goals and interests, the family keeps on a solid foundation. Can you say what unites you with your husband? Do you have common interests and goals? Do you share all the life values \u200b\u200bof your husband?

Each family develops its own system of values. Even within the same culture, the rules by which different families live can be very different. For a child, the beliefs of parents are a matter of course. Children rasut here with the feeling that the views of mom and dad are the only correct ones. When young people create their own family, they bring values \u200b\u200bfrom the families of their parents and these values \u200b\u200bdo not always coincide. It is important to be able to converge on one system of views. To do this, each of the spouses has to give up something of their own beliefs and refuse to accept something new. It is not always easy. But otherwise, the union will not work out harmonious and strong, and the children will find themselves in a difficult situation: they will have to choose between the views of the father and mother. The child will not know what his behavior can suit both parents. This will become a source of anxiety for him. To prevent this from happening, and just to make each spouse comfortable in the family, it is worth discussing with her husband what is really important for him in life, what rules he adheres to at heart, what he would like to see family relationships , and try to find a compromise with your beliefs.

If the spouse’s behavior is not clear to you, try to talk to him about this and understand why he behaves this way and not otherwise. It is important to report on what feelings your husband’s actions arouse in you - this affects much more than the words: “You behave incorrectly, you must act in such and such a way.” Perhaps when the spouse sees the situation through your eyes, he will review his own beliefs.

"Pregnant" sex

Another important reason that can worsen the climate in the family is the sexual relationship of the spouses. During pregnancy, the female libido often changes: sometimes it intensifies, and sometimes disappears altogether. It is bad when the husband remains unsatisfied for several months. This can cause serious problems in the family, because the husband, in turn, will most likely perceive the wife’s refusal as manifestations of self-hostility, as a lack of love. And unrealized physical attraction can make a man irritable. His wife is hardly going to like it. It is easier for the spouse to refuse when the prohibition of sex is recommended by the doctor for medical reasons. The mutual compromise that the spouses can try to find in this case will be more useful to the family than confrontation.

Another common problem occurs when the libido of a pregnant woman rises or remains the same, and the husband refuses to have sex with her. Failure of the spouse may cause resentment. But do not rush to withdraw into yourself. Try to understand what is happening to your husband. Often this behavior is due to the fact that a man is afraid of something to do harm to his wife and child. This usually happens when a woman makes it clear that she wants a husband, that the changes that have occurred have not changed her feelings and sensations. Often the man is reassured by medical literature. So, having learned more about the anatomy, the spouse begins to understand that the child is sufficiently well protected and it is simply impossible to damage him, and of course, the man needs guidance: be sure to tell him what his actions bring you discomfort and which ones are pleasant. “Pregnant” sex is a special relationship. Experiments and diversity usually become less, but more tenderness and deeper feelings.

It is not true that all happy families are alike and only unhappy ones are different. There are many recipes for happiness, while the most often the same problems destroy relationships. Finding your own path to a successful marriage is not always easy. But to make a decision to keep and grow love or go with the flow is up to you.

How a man to understand a pregnant woman: attitude to the expectant mother

Very often during pregnancy, a woman begins to worry that temporarily loses part of her attractiveness. This factor is especially depressing for young women, for whom the appearance is a proof of the love and adoration that they cause in a man. It is during pregnancy that these women do not feel particularly comfortable, because they are forced to abandon their usual clothes and lifestyle. It often happens that men pay very little attention to such problems. And they do not bother to once again say something pleasant to their own wife, to remind them that they still love her. Of course, seeing this attitude to herself, the expectant mother begins to doubly worry. She can decide that now she does not care about her husband as a woman at all, that he can leave her at any moment.

The fantasy of a pregnant woman is able to reach the point that a distressed lady will be sure that her husband does not leave her solely out of decency, since he is sorry for the child. Naturally, such thoughts cannot have a beneficial effect on mood, entail persistent depression and possible nervous breakdown.

At first glance, the problems of women look far-fetched. And she herself appears as a hysterical creature who is looking for an excuse to find fault with her own husband. But in fact, there would be no nit-picking if the husband did not give cause for this. How does a man understand the feelings of a pregnant woman? Of course, it’s hard for a man to change right away. And if before he had not especially thought about his own behavior and attitude to his wife, then during her pregnancy he would have to control absolutely all his words and actions. Any careless word can be a truly traumatic factor for a pregnant woman. These words include all statements, even humorous ones, regarding the changed appearance and clumsiness. The future dad during his wife’s pregnancy should understand that what seems like a funny joke to him can be a real insult to a woman. This is especially true for very young girls who do not yet have a stable self-esteem. And that is why during pregnancy and the first months after the birth of the baby they are painfully experiencing the loss of their own beauty.

What should a man do during his wife’s pregnancy? While the spouse is expecting a baby, it is advisable for a man to spend as much time as possible at home. But, unfortunately, the majority of representatives of the strong half of humanity especially strongly protest against such advice. It seems unreasonable for them to deprive themselves of their usual pleasures for the whims and whims of a pregnant wife. And in this regard, a crack appears in the relationship between a man and a woman. At first it is almost invisible, and then everything grows and expands and can lead to major conflicts.

ARVI in the family of a pregnant

During pregnancy, contact with sick people should be avoided. Even a common viral infection can lead to unpleasant consequences for the health of the mother and disrupt the development of the fetus. However, the situation is complicated when family members fall ill.

Husband's disease

Often, expectant mothers are interested in a doctor: "What if my husband gets sick and I'm pregnant?"

In such a situation, it is necessary to isolate the sick person. Usually it’s enough to temporarily move your husband into a separate room and limit contacts.

This is especially true in the case when he is sick with the flu, infectious mononucleosis or other dangerous viral infection. If there is such an opportunity, it is advisable for the expectant mother to move to another place at this time - for example, to relatives.

Influenza often occurs with high fever, which is dangerous for the fetus. It can provoke not only a violation of its development, but also an abortion - a miscarriage. Infection with this infection should be avoided in every possible way.

If it is not possible to isolate the patient, hygiene measures must be followed carefully. The room should be regularly ventilated and moistened, and the husband must wear a mask and change it every two to three hours.

Prophylactic administration of antiviral drugs is not required, since they do not have the proper effectiveness. The exception is Tamiflu (oseltamivir). This is a drug that has anti-influenza activity and is used both for prophylaxis and for the treatment of influenza.

This is especially true during pregnancy, since at this time the immunity of the expectant mother is suppressed and her viral diseases often proceed with complications. Tamiflu is prescribed by a doctor.

If the pregnancy occurs in the autumn-winter period, the husband is shown flu vaccination to reduce the risk of infection and infection of his wife.

Baby disease

If the child falls ill and the mother is pregnant, the tactics of action are the same. It is very easy to get infected from children, and they catch viral infections much more often than adults. But often it’s impossible to separate a pregnant woman and a baby, especially before the age of three.

In such a situation, the following measures must be taken:

• Assign responsibilities for caring for a sick child to other family members.
• Avoid close contact, sharing sleep.
• If the baby does not resist, invite him to wear a mask - in the form of a game.
• Ventilate the room as often as possible.
• Use a humidifier.
• Flush nose with saline solutions - for yourself and the child. For this purpose, Salin, Aquamaris, Humer or Lamisol are suitable.

The question of the preventive vaccination of the baby and the expectant mother against influenza is decided by the doctor, taking into account age and possible contraindications.

During the period of the SARS and influenza epidemic, all possible measures must be taken so that the pregnant woman does not become infected. But if this happened, you should definitely consult a doctor to prevent serious consequences.

Husband drinks during my pregnancy: what to do?

Many women ignore the regular consumption of alcoholic beverages by their chosen one, they believe that this is just a bottle of cognac with friends on barbecue or a can of beer after work. But this swamp is addictive, and alcohol dependence develops. Then the girls are mistaken again and think that now I will become pregnant and it will change. But, as a rule, this does not happen. And now you are already wondering what to do if I am pregnant and my husband drinks.

First, assess the magnitude of the problem. If this is full drunkenness several times a week, which entails disgusting behavior and waste of the family budget, there can only be one advice - to leave. And all the difficulties of a single mother to you because you did not turn on your head in time and decided to give birth from such a man. If real alcoholism has not yet reached, it is important to have time to take action.

Why does alcohol addiction appear?

An adversary like alcohol is very strong and treacherous. Therefore, to begin with, you should understand why it appeared in your life. Not all those who like to drink are necessarily alcoholics. According to many experts, a genetic predisposition is a key predisposing factor to addiction.

Speaking from a physiological point of view, regular drinking causes a metabolic disorder in the brain. Ethyl alcohol adversely affects the nervous system, causing changes in the reaction of system units. This is how addiction develops.

It is important to understand the root cause of the disease, why the spouse began to drink. These may be situations after which he tries to relax in this way:

• Regular emotional stress at work;
• Lack of self-realization in life;
• Lack of proper attention in the family;
• The influence of the environment - constant company with drink lovers.

Especially the situation is aggravated if the family is expected to replenish or already have children. Perhaps the man does not feel like the head of the family, he either cannot properly provide for his family, or is married to an imperious, authoritarian woman who strongly suppresses him, even humiliates him, provokes scandals.

It is important to understand that during pregnancy a woman undergoes cardinal hormonal changes in the body. Therefore, it can become overly susceptible, emotional, irritable. And tiredness at work, the desire to relax after a hard day's work, find no way out in emotional discharge.

The spouse does not want to listen to problems, does not support, does not praise and disapproves. In such an atmosphere, it is very difficult to restrain oneself morally. Therefore, many men see for themselves only one way out - to drink one hundred grams. If this is repeated day after day, after coming home instead of affection and comfort, he sees only an ever-dissatisfied, grumpy wife, of course he wants to escape from such a situation.

Instruction manual

Most importantly, the man must accept all changes in the behavior of the spouse. In time   hormonal changes occur that can cause mood swings, increased tearfulness, irritability, and changes in taste preferences.

The man  in time pregnancy  a wife should not take all her vagaries to heart, because soon this period will pass. But you need to be patient and support your wife. It is very important to take more care and constantly pay attention to it. Even with a busy day, it should not be difficult to call your loved one and inquire about her well-being and condition. Showering his wife with positive emotions, the man contributes to proper intrauterine development.

Many believe that the process of bearing a child concerns only what they are very mistaken about. Pregnancy and childbirth are processes that require the attention of a married couple, and not just women. In time pregnancy, men should create an atmosphere of trust and sincerity within the family so that the expectant mother can feel comfortable. It is necessary to maintain a trusting relationship with his wife so that she is not afraid to complain or ask for help.

The husband must act confidently to help his wife overcome all her fears. He should talk with, stroking his tummy, because he hears and feels everything. Over time, the baby will respond
on dad’s voice and banging in his leg in my mother’s tummy.

The man  do not be offended if the wife began to pay little attention to him, because she is now focused on the development of the baby. Instead of criticizing your spouse, it is better to support her. You need to spend more time with her and take walks, because fresh air is very important for the health of mom and the unborn baby.

Tip 2: What to do to a pregnant girl if her boyfriend abandoned her

Becoming a mother is the most important thing for a woman. It is double joy if the father is also waiting for his child to appear. However, there are situations when the news of pregnancy becomes unnecessary and the expectant mother.

Assessment of the situation

Despite the storm of feelings in such a situation, try to pull yourself together. Life does not end there. Look at this from the other side: if your young man abandoned you after learning about pregnancy, it was hardly worth continuing the relationship with him. Such a person will not become a reliable partner for later life.

Soberly assess the situation in which you find yourself. Think about whether you have reliable people to whom you could turn for help, both moral and financial. Such people may be your parents, friends, relatives.

Do not waste time on self-pity. This will not be the help you need. In addition, do not call yourself the cause of the breakdown in your relationship. In a similar situation, both partners are to blame. If a person has left your life, then it was not your person.

Decision-making

One of the most difficult moments in a situation when you are pregnant alone is to make the right decision. There may be two options - to leave the baby and have an abortion. Listen to your mind. He will help make a choice.

If you decide to have a baby, consider your possibilities for creating the necessary conditions. So, you should have a job, earning from which you would have enough to support yourself and the baby. In addition, financial support should be provided for parental leave. It can be payments at the place of work, as well as help from parents or relatives.

Having decided to give birth to a child, protect yourself from opposing opinions. The negative mood of others will negatively affect you and the baby. Explain to your family that you have made a firm decision. Over time, they will come to terms and, perhaps, will help you. In any case, rely only on yourself, do not rely on hypothetical help from other people. This will make it easier for you to solve problems.

Switch your thoughts to taking care of your health and the health of your unborn child. Make it your new goal. Protect yourself from everything bad, annoying. Find something that gives you strength and positive energy. For some it will be music, for someone it will be communication with animals. Surround yourself with pleasant things.

If, after carefully weighing everything, you decide to get rid of the child, contact a antenatal clinic. The psychologists working there will help you survive a difficult life moment. In addition, gynecologists will provide you with the necessary assistance.

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Tip 3: How can you justify a man who has abandoned a pregnant wife

Pregnancy completely changes any relationship. Some couples become even happier, while others, unfortunately, break up. There are men who think only of themselves, and can safely leave their woman if she suddenly becomes pregnant.

Why do men abandon pregnant women

More often than not, a pregnant woman who has entered into a relationship with an emotionally immature man remains lonely. He is afraid of losing freedom, he is terribly afraid of responsibility. It is unlikely that he is ready for the child financially. To everything else, his beloved loses his seductive forms and begins to act up. In such a situation, the immature future father runs away from the problems that have arisen, leaving the future mother to the mercy of fate.

Most likely, a man who did not plan to establish a serious relationship will leave. He did not consider his beloved as a chosen one for life, she was for him only a small episode in life.

"Mama's little son" can also run away from a pregnant woman, as he is used to being constantly looked after. He does not want to care about anyone. And if his grandchildren or she does not like the future daughter-in-law, then “sissy” will run away even faster.

Careerists, alcoholics and drug addicts also most often drop pregnant women.

Is it possible to understand such a man?

Normal men never abandon their women if they carry their children under the hearts. Therefore, if you were left alone when you became pregnant, you have chosen your chosen one incorrectly.

Neither understand nor justify such a man. Anyway, this is his child, and he appeared for a reason. The man responsible for the life of the baby is as much as you.

There are men who after some time return to the future mother of their child. They tend to panic, but, taking themselves in hand, begin to look at the situation soberly. Such men can be understood and forgiven, but do not forget who you are dealing with. You can always expect a trick from such a person. But it’s better to live with him than just one.

If he left without a trace, there is no point trying all the time to return him. If he does not want to listen to you, do not be humbled. Such a person is not worthy of you or your baby. You will have a very difficult time, but do not despair. Most single mothers find new ones who accept their children as their own. Be confident, and your ex will understand who he lost. Life will put everything in its place, in the end, you will be a happy woman with a loving child, and he will be a lonely man tormented by torment of conscience.

Sooner or later, he will regret his action. He left not only you, he left a child who could call him dad. Find the strength to survive all the difficulties, and you will surely find real female happiness with a worthy man.

If you do not love your pregnant wife, you have several options for solving this problem. But no one but yourself can make the right choice.

Instruction manual

To think. First of all, about the child. Are you really ready to give up life with your baby when he is born. If you do not love his mother, this is not a reason to leave. You can stay in a couple for the sake of the baby, because he needs the care and care of both parents. If you have an even and normal relationship with your expectant mother, there is nothing wrong with living together without love. It is possible that when a child is born, you look at his mother with completely different eyes.

To live separately. One of the best options for checking feelings is to break up for a while. It is possible that in connection with such major changes in life as the pregnancy of your spouse, you only think that you have no love. Live some time separately. In order not to severely injure your wife, you can simply refer to a business trip. Test your feelings. If you really do not care about your spouse, she does not cause you any emotions, then it is possible that you should get a divorce. If you do not stop thinking about this woman, worry about her and miss her, do not attribute this to a banal habit. This is love. The desire to care, protect and preserve is not a habit and attachment, but a really strong and deep feeling.

Get a divorce. If your relationship is full of scandals and reproaches, and love has not lived in your family for a long time, the child will not fix it. Divorce your wife to give a new and better chance not only to yourself, but also to her. Divorce does not in any way remove your parental obligations. The future baby is not to blame for the fact that your personal relationship with his mother failed. In the end, caring for a child can unite you in the future. When divorcing a pregnant wife, treat her respectfully and carefully. After all, she wears under the heart of your baby, and this imposes obligations on you - to care for and protect this woman, even if there is no love.

To live on. Trite, but many families live even when there is no love between spouses. If your wife is pregnant, and you do not love her at all - this is not a reason to get divorced. Think about what marriage gives you and what divorce will give you. Usually the latter takes a lot of strength and nerves. It is possible that a measured and habitual life is a much more attractive option than the unknown after a divorce. Having a baby in a couple where there is no love can be a salvation. After all, caring for a tiny baby can bring parents together.

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Tip 5: How do men respond to pregnancy news?

Men reaction

Men can react to pregnancy both violently and detachedly. Sometimes the emotions of the future dad are even stronger than that of the future mother. It depends on the character of the man, his desire to have children and wealth in society. The emotionality of a man can also be connected with the fact that for a woman pregnancy and motherhood are what they are preparing for, part and, possibly, the meaning of life, and for men it is a shock. Even if the pregnancy was planned and the partners had been preparing for it for a long time, then as a result, for a man she would still be unexpected.

And if there is no reaction?

There is a category of men who do not react to pregnancy in any way. For them, this is something of a kind standard. They consider pregnancy and paternity the norm. The downside of such people is that they react negatively to any whims of a pregnant woman. For them, there should be no manifestation of pregnancy on the part of the woman.

The joy and jubilation of men

Having learned about pregnancy, a man can rejoice and rejoice for a long time. Such a man may disappear after the news for a couple of hours, and then return with a hundred roses in gratitude to the future mother. They can begin to circle and kiss their pregnant woman. There will be no limit to their joy. For him, pregnancy is a miracle that appeared in him. Throughout pregnancy, such men show great concern and excitement for their beloved. Very often they indulge all her whims.

Anxiety and shock

Some men are anxious. For them, information about pregnancy can be a real shock. After all, men are not constantly prepared for future fatherhood. And from ignorance and insecurity this alarm arises. Such men may both show this uncertainty throughout their pregnancy, and may worry more than a pregnant woman.

Hyperresponsibility

For some men, news of pregnancy can cause increased responsibility. They begin to work with special zeal. Sometimes they find a side job. For such men, the main thing is to achieve the proper material level for their family. The downside of this reaction is that a woman may feel lonely due to the fact that the man is constantly working.

How to support a man

You should not be upset if the man’s reaction turned out to be as calculated. Just try to teach a man to think about pregnancy, about the future baby. Let him understand that this is not as scary as it seems at first glance. Talk to him calmly. And remember: getting nervous now is useless. Hormonal background

During pregnancy, a woman experiences a change in the hormonal background, resulting in a change in the psychoemotional background: increased irritability, sudden mood swings, the appearance of moods. It’s hard for a man to understand such changes, because he himself has never experienced such a thing, and will not be able to experience it. Because of this, conflicts arise, the resolution of which does not lead to more global family problems.

To fix this problem is not so difficult: you need to devote more time to talking with your partner (both man and woman), share your joys and experiences.

Bad state of health

During the period of bearing a child, a woman experiences a number of physical and physiological changes: weight gain, body metamorphosis, edema, increased diuresis, problems with emptying, etc. At one time, a man does not experience such changes on himself, therefore, the vagaries and some experiences of a woman are incomprehensible to him.

Solution: treat the woman’s feelings more condescendingly and support her in every way.

Lack of intimacy

Everyone knows that during pregnancy, not only the condition of the woman, but also her figure undergoes changes: someone is gaining 10 kg for the entire pregnancy, and someone is all 30! A woman believes that she is less sexy and desirable for her man during pregnancy, so she feels discomfort during sex. At the same time, many men believe that sex can harm a future baby (which, of course, does not correspond to reality), because of which a woman may find herself unattractive for her partner.

Solution: words of love and compliments to your woman will help to eliminate worries about the changes that occurred during the period of bearing the baby. Consultation with a doctor about sex during pregnancy.

Participation in the preparation for the birth of only one of the spouses

It's no secret that in preparation for birth, as a rule, only the expectant mother is engaged. What is included in the preparation? Purchasing items, furniture, care items, and, most importantly, visiting an attending physician. Even at such moments, a woman should feel the support of the future father, who can look at many things a little differently, calm and encourage her spouse.

Solution: the participation of men in all preparations for the appearance of the newborn.

If a man experiences the pregnancy of his wife, experiencing the same sensations as his spouse, this is not love, but a hysterical neurosis, which is called Kuwad syndrome. In an interview with Meditsinskaya Gazeta, this disease was described by Valery Marilov, professor of psychiatry and medical psychology at the Peoples' Friendship University of Russia, who has been monitoring patients with this disorder for 15 years.

- What is Kuwad syndrome?

The term used in the name of the disease is derived from the French verb couver, which means "to incubate the chicks." Kuwad syndrome means a combination of psychogenic and psychosomatic disorders in young men with pregnant wives. The clinic of pathological sensations of the young husband corresponds to what happens to his wife expecting a child. If her appetite changes, all eating behavior, and a woman begins to eat inedible food, then her husband suffers from the same. He feels the same pain that his wife experiences, for example, with a discrepancy in the pelvic bones.

The main symptoms of the disease include: morning weakness, decreased, distorted or increased appetite, almost daily nausea and vomiting - sometimes on an empty stomach, sometimes at the sight or smell of a certain food, frequent constipation or, conversely, diarrhea, stomach or intestinal colic, pain lower abdomen, which sometimes in nature and intensity can even imitate an attack of appendicitis, pain in the lumbar region, psychogenic toothache, as well as the so-called empathy pains or sympathy pains. The latter are expressed in the fact that in the husband the sensation is localized in the same organ as in his pregnant wife.

These symptoms are accompanied by emotional instability, increased irritability, depression, internal stress, insomnia, moodiness, extreme egocentrism, intolerance, and rejection of other points of view on a particular problem. Interestingly, the moodiness of men with Kuwad syndrome significantly exceeds the “frivolity of desires” of really pregnant women. Most often, with this syndrome, imitation of pregnancy discomfort relates to the digestive system, although variations in the involvement of one organ or another can be the widest. It is not surprising that these men are sent to an infectious or surgical clinic with suspicion of various diseases.

In the process of studying psychosomatic diseases of the gastrointestinal tract, we identified 9 cases of the classical Kuvad syndrome. Initially, they were mistakenly interpreted as gastralgia or irritable bowel syndrome. Only a thorough, focused history, as well as a chronological coincidence of symptoms in men with the corresponding manifestations in their pregnant wives, made it possible to exclude these diagnoses and focus on the diagnosis of Kuwad syndrome.

- When does the future father notice manifestations of this unusual disease?

As a rule, in the third month of pregnancy of the wife, and they reach their peak by the ninth month. When labor occurs, the sensations in men are further exacerbated. Sometimes two discrete peaks are noted - in the third and ninth month with relative reduction of symptoms between them. In a third of patients, the symptomatology of the syndrome makes its debut rapidly, but by the time of birth it can completely disappear, in a third it disappears only after the birth of the child, gradually disappearing as the bursts heal and other postpartum complications heal. The severity of a man’s condition depends on what he thinks of his wife’s birth. If he presents them with horror, then this horror will be experienced. A man constantly calls the hospital, he will not calm down until he is told that everything is fine, his wife had a son or daughter. After this, the dad’s pain immediately ceases. His wife's birth is over, and so is his!

- What is the basis for the formation of Kuwad syndrome?

First of all, unconscious anxiety for the fate of the wife and the unborn child and, to a certain extent, a kind of guilt towards the spouse. Some psychoanalysts believe that a man’s false pregnancy often has a manifestation of his identification with his mother to atone for her. Kuwad syndrome is also associated with the ritual of the same name in some ethnic groups, in which the husband, during childbirth, goes to bed, refuses to eat, shouts and various body movements imitates childbirth, taking some of the pain on himself. This ritual was often used by medieval sorceresses, who transferred the wife’s pain to her husband, for which quite often they fell on the bonfire of the Inquisition. As for the anthropological significance of such a ritual, the interpretation here is very different - from the presence of reduced female reproductive organs in men to a peculiar symbolic struggle against matriarchy. Kuwad syndrome was described several centuries ago. According to foreign studies, 11% of men of childbearing age to one degree or another survived this condition during the pregnancy of their wife, that is, one in nine of the future fathers had Kuwad syndrome. Individual symptoms of this pathology are even more common. For example, in the United States, an abdominal variant of Kuwad syndrome was detected in 40% of the examined men with pregnant wives.

- Which men are affected by this disease?

All the patients we observed were young people aged 21 to 27 years, who were in their first marriage and expected to be added to the family. One young man already had a baby, and during the first pregnancy of his wife, he also showed manifestations of Kuwad syndrome. The personality of all patients observed was an infantile-hysterical warehouse with a high level of unregulated anxiety and a well-developed mechanism of psychological transfer. That is why the discomfort of the wife’s pregnancy was transferred in the form of symptoms of Kuwad syndrome to the husband, and this transfer was fueled by a huge, but unconscious feeling of guilt before the wife. It is characteristic that all these men were brought up in purely matriarchal families, where the role of the father was reduced only to the function of procreation. The family was dominated and dictated by its will by an imperious and decisive mother, a kind of Boar, who did not even give the external possibility of the right to choose. In their assessments of various circumstances, future patients were always focused only on the mother and did not even consider other options. They also married at the choice of the mother, while their wives in personal terms were almost copies of their mothers. Therefore, the patients themselves in the family have always been on the sidelines, not even allowing thoughts of possible leadership.

All patients experienced one or another sexual disorder, mainly in the form of premature ejaculation, which caused them a certain inferiority complex. One young man, among other things, had emotional sensitivity, tearfulness, lower abdominal pain and heaviness in his lower back even before his wife’s pregnancy, coinciding chronologically with her premenstrual days (these phenomena were observed in the husband within 6 months before the pregnancy in the wife). Such a “menstrual variant” of Kuwad syndrome has not yet been described in the literature. The mechanism of its appearance, as well as the typical Kuwad syndrome, is apparently similar to the hysterical transfer of the type of sympathy pain mentioned above.

- Please provide a specific example from your clinical observations.

Patient O., 26 years old, a teacher of Russian language and literature by education. Married since 20 years. Heredity is not burdened. The only child in the family. He was brought up by his mother and grandmother, his father left the family when the child was 4 months old. Mother characterologically is a hysterical-epileptoid personality, always very emotional, at the same time domineering to cruelty and demanding to pedantry. From childhood, the patient lived according to her laws, unquestioningly complied with all her instructions and requirements, sacredly believed her in everything. Until now, he believes that doubting mother's words is blasphemy. At the request of his mother, he entered a pedagogical institute, although he did not like the future specialty. In the third year he married for love, but before that, during the year he met with a girl almost always in the presence of his mother. The bride and future mother-in-law got along with each other, and such an amazing similarity of both women allowed the patient to avoid the conflicts typical for such cases.

After the wedding, the patient found that his wife, like his mother, takes care of him like a big child, and she solves all the problems herself, showing an enviable decisiveness, perseverance and perseverance. The husband suffered from frigidity, so her husband was quite happy with her premature ejaculation, for which our patient idolized her. When she became pregnant, her husband met this news very anxiously. Pregnancy in the spouse was difficult: from the first days, nausea, vomiting, lack of appetite, pain in the stomach were noted. In the fourth month of her pregnancy, her husband suddenly showed nausea and vomiting in the morning, and subsequently, pain in the stomach. The patient decided that he had a peptic ulcer of the stomach or duodenum. He was examined by gastroenterologists, did gastroscopy, but no pathology was detected. Doctors suggested that the resulting disorder was nerve-wracking and advised drinking motherwort and valerian tinctures. The symptomatology softened somewhat. Later, the patient reported that his then condition was entirely determined by the well-being of his wife. Moreover, everything that the spouse felt, our patient experienced to a much greater extent. If the wife had a single vomiting, then her husband was indomitable and often lasted several hours. He was forced to consult a therapist who diagnosed food poisoning and recommended hospitalization in an infectious diseases hospital. The man’s appetite was constantly absent, he often felt sick and vomited, and during his wife’s pregnancy he lost 11 kg.

When the wife began prenatal contractions and amniotic fluid flowed off before his eyes, after which the woman was taken to the maternity hospital, the future father reached its limit. He rushed about the apartment in horror. It was at this moment that he first felt involuntary urination, after which there was a sharp sharp pain in the lower abdomen, so strong that, as he said, he “caught his breath”. Suspected of acute appendicitis, the patient was sent to a surgical hospital, from where he was released after two hours due to the absence of any surgical pathology and the disappearance of pain. But at home this pain renewed and persisted until the man knew that he had a son. After 5 years, our patient’s wife became pregnant again, and again in the fourth month of her pregnancy, he began to experience first morning sickness, then nausea, vomiting and pain in the stomach. However, this time he already understood a certain connection between his wife’s experiences and his feelings, therefore he regularly visited a psychotherapist and took tranquilizers and antipsychotics prescribed to him. Before giving birth to a wife, the patient doubled the dose of drugs taken and experienced only a slight pain in the lower abdomen.

In this case, we were diagnosed with hysterical neurosis. It stemmed from the presence of a specific traumatic situation due to the pregnancy of the wife, from the trigger mechanism of the unconscious phenomenon of psychological transfer and neurotic symptoms of the hysterical circle. It is characteristic that this psychological transfer was not only quite complete, but also excessive. With the resolution of the traumatic situation (safe delivery of the wife), all the symptoms completely disappeared.

- What to do with such patients?

Relieve internal stress. Everything comes from the head. Of course, in this situation, there is a positive point - to take part of the wife’s pain on themselves, but otherwise ... In the West, a woman often gives birth in the presence of her husband, this is already practiced in our country. And if a young man has Kuwad syndrome? I believe that husbands of women in childbirth should be examined, because men themselves will not go to a psychiatrist, they do not consider themselves mentally ill.

Such a person needs to be prescribed sedatives and recommend psychotherapy, which consists in the main thing: an explanation, an explanation, and one more explanation. Unfortunately, while our doctors are unfamiliar with such an unusual disease as Kuwad syndrome, which, in my opinion, is currently necessary to know not only for psychiatrists, but also for surgeons, infectious disease specialists, obstetrician-gynecologists.

When it comes to pregnant women, I'm not an expert on this. Damn it, but I still generally hardly understand women. In fact, I am rather an antiexpert. Fortunately for you, I made so many stupid mistakes during the pregnancy of my wife that now I am a highly qualified specialist in this matter to tell you things that you should know in order to avoid my mistakes.

Here are 13 of the most important things to remember:

1. Feed her constantly

Each of us is aware that food is the most important thing for a pregnant woman. But the profane may not understand that time is of the essence. The bottom line is that when your woman says that she is hungry, then she is hungry. She needs to be fed immediately, otherwise she will eat you. Understand that the phrase “I am hungry” does not mean that she is looking forward to your planned lunch in an hour. This suggests that she wants something to eat before you go to the restaurant. And then again, when you will be driving in a car. If your woman will not be able to grab a bite to eat on time, then in the best case, this threatens you with insane bitchiness on her part, and in the worst - bodily injuries.

2. Food: all yours is hers, all hers is only hers

You’ve probably been married or just together for several years now, so you’ve bought all this nonsense about spiritual unity, living together, etc. And while some of this applies, but when it comes to food - "rates are canceled." If you eat her food (or the food you bought for yourself, but she thought it was for her), she will be ready to nail you. Not physically, of course, but when she gives you a real tantrum, you will prefer physical punishment. Somehow I was reckless to eat my wife’s chocolate bar, and when she found this, I became furious. This was one of the most terrifying spectacles I have ever seen. Just don't repeat my mistakes.

3. Be prepared for the fact that you gain weight

Please note that for now, all tips are about food. It's not a mistake. Sooner or later, she will have a strong appetite. When my wife was pregnant with Will, she really wanted pizza, whale kat and grapefruit. During her second pregnancy, a fruit salad was just a whim. But you should also know that one of the unmentioned side effects of pregnancy is overweight, which you will gain. Yes, men are getting better too. This is mainly due to the fact that we are becoming partners with our wives in enhanced nutrition. I gained about 13 kg during the pregnancy of my wife five years ago. This is nothing compared to how much she weighed with the baby inside! So watch yourself.

4. Do not tell her that she has recovered

I knew that my wife was pregnant and that pregnant women were gaining weight. That’s why I didn’t see anything wrong with telling her that she had a beautiful, round belly. In my opinion, this is a natural phenomenon and everything, as it should be, and I have not seen anything more beautiful in life. But after I was reckless to tell her about this a couple of times, she cried out with such anger: “ENOUGH TO TALK ME THAT I AM FAT! “I DO NOT NEED TO REMIND ABOUT THIS EVERY TIME!” Then it did not matter to her that in my eyes it was more beautiful than then, she had never looked in her life, and that I understood that she would recover. So we come to the next point ...

5. "Pregnant mind" does exist

I know that this may be a somewhat cutesy term. But this is not so. “Pregnant mind” is a normal occurrence. It begins with everyday events such as finding her sunglasses while she is wearing her head, which is charming in its own way. But soon everything turns into oddities of a different kind. For example, once my wife left the cellar door open at a temperature of +5 degrees and froze our ground floor, while still leaving the thieves the opportunity to enter the house. By the way, I asked my wife to help me with a couple more examples of the "pregnant mind", but she could not, because she does not remember.

6. Goodbye sense of humor

7. Say goodbye to sex

Listen to me carefully - you will not be sexually satisfied. The first trimester is the worst. This is the period when many changes will take place in her body, and her well-being will be really bad. So, my friend, turn on porn and remember that your hand is your best friend in this situation. But there is good news: twice during pregnancy you will still get sex. You will have one to two weeks time when her sexual desire will return at the beginning of the second trimester. Enjoy it because it will not happen again until the end of pregnancy. Toward the end, your wife will be so desperate to give birth as soon as possible, that she will use sex in the hope that he will contribute to childbirth.

8. Yes, her breasts are much larger; no you can't touch them

As we are discussing the topic of sex right now, let me tell you about nature’s most brutal focus. The woman who wears under the heart of a child is gorgeous. This “pregnant” beauty that everyone is talking about exists. Miracles happen to her hair, nails and breasts. Size A becomes miraculously sized C, B becomes D, and C becomes "Hallelujah, thank God!" The chest swells to a gigantic size, bras literally tear at the seams. The only problem is that you are forbidden to touch the chest. It's like going to a pet store, seeing cute puppies behind glass, but not being able to pet them. They are charming and you want to take them home forever, but if you try to even touch her puppies, she will be ready to destroy you. Believe me.

9. Your dick cannot harm a child

Let's immediately put everything in its place - your penis can not affect the baby in the womb of your wife. Did you catch it? It doesn’t matter if you are on a par with Ron Jeremy, your cock will not scare the baby and, certainly, you will not “poke” it on the forehead. Any such thought will be the reason for the tantrum of your pregnant wife. There is nothing worse than talking about your penis and hysterical laughter. So I warned ...

10. You will be replaced by pillows

Didn't you spend a ton of money on a mattress? A memory mattress or orthopedic mattress that makes you feel like 1000 little angels massage you throughout the night. Well, I hope that you also managed to get a comfortable sofa, because most likely it is precisely on it that you will have to move during your wife’s pregnancy. And not because she will need more free space. It's all about pillows. Yes, in them. With pregnancy, you become more and more inappropriate, but 37 pillows - including the forgotten full-size pillow by God - become truly vital night companions. And when it comes to fights, you will be kicked out onto the sofa.

11. Do not treat it like glass

Many men, including myself, take great care of their wives. But when your baby grows inside it, this protective instinct suddenly increases several times. For example, I did not allow my wife to open the doors, carry grocery bags, pick up heavy objects, etc. Not that I think she cannot fend for herself; I just feel that during this period I have to protect her more than ever, and I want to be sure that lifting any weights is minimized. And at this moment I just hear the following: “I AM NOT FROM GLASS, STOP RELATING TO ME AS A PRINCESS!” Well, husbands / guys of pregnant women, even if you treat them like princesses, at least not, but you will still be damned.

12. Pregnant women are lazy

This is a rather sensitive topic. In the end, your woman carries a whole new life. Her body is growing, stretching, changing and adapting. But the fact remains, pregnant women L-E-N-I-V-S-E. A good example, I became a householder dad during my wife’s second pregnancy. She not only stopped cooking, but even put dirty dishes in the sink. Instead, she brought dishes to the kitchen and placed them away from the sink. Moreover, all cups of coffee remained half full, and plates with a ton of half-eaten porridge. I was not opposed to cooking, but I was categorically against being considered full of foolishness. Is it really so difficult to eat everything and put the dishes in the sink? But you cannot be indignant, because ...

13. You cannot complain

All the items that I have listed above, you can not talk to your pregnant wife. Because even if she is lazy, doesn’t give you anything, doesn’t allow you to touch her breasts, forgets everything, sleeps with a bunch of pillows, driving you on the sofa, eats a lot and gains excess weight, all this does not matter. She is pregnant. She bears your baby. This means that she has a trump card in her hands and all your complaints do not matter. Seriously, just think, here you are complaining, and what will be her answer. Something like: “Utensils? Are you grumbling about the dishes? In my stomach there is a human being growing up in the size of a watermelon, which ultimately I have to push through a hole the size of a lemon! SO WHAT ARE YOU DISAPPOINTED WITH?!? "

The man’s attitude to the pregnancy of his beloved woman manifests itself in different ways: when one is shocked by the changes and does not know how to react, the other buys all the thematic literature and simultaneously records his wife at the gym for pregnant women. What should be the attitude of the husband to the pregnant wife?

As with everything, it is important to comply with the measure. If the husband pays little attention, the pregnant wife will begin to suffer from his lack. “He doesn’t love me”, “he and I don’t need me with a child” - about such insidious thoughts attack a woman’s brain in such a situation. If the man, on the contrary, tries too hard to create maximum comfort for her, then she feels limited in freedom, deprived of the right to decide anything on her own.

Why does a woman's behavior change during pregnancy?

One of the main reasons is hormonal changes. The body of a woman is completely rebuilt, begins to work in an enhanced mode, which means - to consume twice as many resources. A woman gets tired faster, which causes irritability.

Now the expectant mother feels that there is no turning back. She loses her youth and carelessness (especially if the pregnancy is first) and for many years bears the burden of responsibility for the future person.

That is why the husband should treat the pregnant wife with a special understanding, share this responsibility with her, give her confidence that support and protection are always there, which will always protect and support her.

How does a man feel during his wife’s pregnancy?

In those 9 months that nature took away for the formation of the fetus, not only he matures, but also his parents for paternity and motherhood. In the book of E. Burn, “Games that people play,” an interesting theory is presented, according to which a lot of factors influence the personality of a future person.

Factors that affect the personality of a future person:

• emotional state of parents at conception,
• desire to have a child
• a condition where both parents learned about the upcoming replenishment,
• the behavior of both parents during pregnancy,
• expectation of a child of a certain gender.

For this reason, it is important to monitor your behavior and attitude. In terms of psychological comfort, it is easier for a woman to accept and tolerate the idea of \u200b\u200bpregnancy (the first trimester is the most difficult), nature for this also realigns the hormonal background. For a man, “perestroika” does not occur, which means that it is worth working on himself.

It happens that a man begins to be jealous of his wife for a child, or rather - to her tummy. As if she were thinking and talking more about him than about her beloved husband.

Another man begins to worry more because of the material support of the family: how stable the current situation is, will everything collapse in an instant, will he be able to fully satisfy the needs of his child and the whole family.

Another question that worries a man: “Will I be a good father?”. A man wants to be an ideal example for an unborn child, but does not yet know how to behave and what to do. We solve this issue by time, nature at the right time will tell you how to behave.

Tips for the husband of a pregnant woman:

1. Already in the first weeks, boldly talk with your tummy, even if it’s still invisible. Iron it and show attention.
2. Read a book or watch a movie about pregnancy. This will help you get closer to understanding your wife’s condition.
3. Try to tell your beloved that pregnancy has made her even more beautiful and feminine.
4. Give her more positive emotions: surprises, walks, visiting comedy performances in the theater.
5. Try not to watch tragic films, programs, reports of criminal news - more positive and joy.
6. Even if a pregnant wife is overweight, do not tell her about it. Better offer a trip to a special store and a little update the wardrobe. Just.
7. Try not to insist on intimacy: pregnant women do not always joyfully perceive this venture. It is individual.
8. Watch your diet. A pregnant woman needs to eat as much healthy plant foods as possible. It will be difficult for her to eat celery if her husband gobbles up a smoked lamb leg in front of her eyes. Therefore, husband and wife should adhere to approximately the same diet.
9. Help your wife with the housework. Homework is not so easy as it seems at first glance, and even more so in its current state.
10. Be patient, because the stereotype that a pregnant woman’s mood resembles a roller coaster is the pure truth. A sense of humor to help you.
11. To argue and quarrel is unprofitable for the three of you. Remember that there are no such problems that are worth your nerves, and in the future - and the health of your child.
12. Do not order the gender of the child. This can become a serious psychological complex for a woman. She will involuntarily think that after giving birth “not by order” you and your child will not need it. Forget your "want a kid." By the way, this also affects the formation of the personality of the child negatively. He feels that he has come to where they were waiting for someone else.
13. Try not to teach your wife how to do it right. An adult woman usually believes that she herself knows how to. Better gently recommend, show a little tricks.
14. Be sure to participate in the discussion and purchase of things and household items for the newborn. Yes, it’s really important for you to discuss what color the bath should be and which sliders are better: with Mickey Mouse or these polka dots.

If time is difficult or not, try to help with what you can. For example, arrange crib delivery.

How should a husband prepare for childbirth?

How should a man relate to a woman before childbirth and how to prepare for them? Responsibly approach the choice of the hospital. Choose it together, having traveled in advance a few options. Find out what can be transferred to the hospital, and what is strictly prohibited.

It is appropriate for the husband to take a vacation for this period. It is useful for the whole family to devote their first time to supporting and caring for each other.

Does a man need to attend childbirth? Only if it is a sincere mutual desire. If one wants, and the second compromises by stepping over himself, then this is no longer entirely correct. Everyone should be comfortable. A man can simply say a prayer in support of his beloved wife, being outside the office door. It is important that she knows this.

Try both to believe in the best, to be support and support to each other. The third of your family, whom you have not yet met personally, will greatly appreciate this behavior and reward you by growing up as a happy person, grateful to your parents.