Today unequal marriages will not surprise anyone. And both in that and in the other direction. How does the big difference in the age of spouses affect family life? And what it should be like to guarantee an idyll in family relationships.
Peers
At first glance, it is marriages between peers that should be the most prosperous. Still, common interests, a common circle of friends, approximately the same life experience and future prospects work to unite. However, not everything is so rosy.
To begin with, couples of peers are most often found in early marriage - 19-23 years. And at this age, spouses are usually not yet ready to adapt to each other. Not enough wisdom, flexibility in relationships.
In addition, the mismatch of sexual interests often affects. Experts say that a woman's true sensuality wakes up only at the age of 30, while the stronger sex has this peak at just 21 - 25 years.
Perhaps it is for these reasons that 53 percent of marriages concluded by young peers fall apart.
In addition, some believe that it is men who are married to peers who are most likely to change their companions in the ill-fated mid-life crisis.
Marriages between peers are more likely to find harmony when people meet at a fairly advanced age, with the necessary life experience and baggage.
Wife older than husband
Recently, such marriages are perceived by the public much more calmly. Moreover, as experts assure, they have many advantages.
To begin with, in a purely sexual plan, it is easier for a 20-year-old man to coincide with a woman who is 5-6 years older than him than with her peer.
The heyday of female sexuality falls on the period from 30 to 45 years, and for some it lasts up to 50. As for the stronger sex, according to studies, by the age of 35-40 there comes a period of persistently high sexuality, and after 45 it slowly goes to recession. So it turns out that by sex hours, adult women are the best suited for young men.
True, with age, the importance of sexual relations for a wife will fade into the background.
But usually by this time the spouses have other common ground that keeps them close to each other. After all, in the end, people who dare to coincide not only in bed venture to such relationships.
Incomplex and insecure young children who grew up under the care of mothers and grandmothers often fall in love with older women. They don’t know how to express themselves through “real man’s actions” (well, there is a fight over girls, active courtship). And therefore, they are not popular with their peers.
The wives of such men are often not fully satisfied with the instinct of motherhood. Or she does not have her own children. Or her children have already matured and do not need mom's custody.
Such an alliance can last quite a long time if the husband-boy does not suddenly grow up one day or for some reason does not begin to be weighed down by excessive guardianship.
They tend to fall in love with mature women and romantic natures, to whom such women seem to be the embodiment of the female ideal - well-groomed, educated, tender and romantic. It is these novels that usually drag on for a long time and then safely develop into marriage.
As a rule, women who are capable of seriously captivating men younger than themselves are outstanding individuals, and next to them a young man matures quite quickly and quickly, gaining self-confidence and life wisdom.
So psychologically, such a relationship can benefit both of them. If only a woman has the mind not to behave, her husband, as with an unreasonable baby. Because even if he married an adult woman because he needed a mother-type wife, he would soon rebel from such treatment.
Husband is older than wife
But still, it is considered most acceptable when a man is older than his chosen one. True, in recent years, marriages have entered into vogue, in which a husband is almost suitable for his faithful fathers.
From the point of view of specialists, there is nothing unnatural in the desire of men to marry the young.
Women are attracted to men by the age of the fact that, firstly, they are wealthier and more successful than their peers. And women, again by nature itself, are ordered to "be led" to such representatives of the stronger sex.
Secondly, very often girls who have grown up without a father or simply have not received their father's love fall in love with men much older than themselves.
Girls, accustomed to constant parental care, having matured, will also fall in love with men older than themselves, who will become her parent and husband, which is called in one bottle. And if a man likes “papa-daughter” type, the family harmony is ensured for this couple. He will always be able to feel the undisputed head of the family. She will never dispute his leadership.
Some women choose men much older than themselves, thus striving to raise their self-esteem. As a rule, these are girls with a deep inferiority complex, who were little praised in the family.
Next to a man who is 20 or more years older than her, ready to admire his young wife, she will finally be able to feel like a queen.
So, whatever one may say, the unequal barks conceal many positive aspects. Although, of course, there are pitfalls.
In unequal barges, experts assure, the one who is younger ages faster. Especially a woman. But the need for feelings she still remains. And if some Don Juan appears on the way of such a woman, it is possible that fidelity to her husband will be over.
So count
So what is the optimal age difference between spouses? There is no consensus on this.
Some experts believe that for sustainable long-term relationships, the difference in the age of the spouses should be about 5-7 years.
Other scientists even offer a formula for calculating an ideal marriage: "husband's age: 2 + 7 \u003d wife's age." That is, if a man is 40 years old, we divide by 2 - it turns out 20, then we add 7 and we get the age of his ideal wife: 27 years.
Astrologers suggest determining the compatibility of spouses by age based on the ancient Zoroastrian calendar. Here it does not matter which of the spouses is older. The main thing is how much.
So, according to this system marriage between peers although it guarantees a safe union, many children, however, it does not always imply personal growth.
One year difference promises a marriage based on trust, mutual assistance, as well as harmonious joint parenting.
Two years - such marriages are usually romantic and sudden. Spouses are waiting for an endless series of ups and downs, a change of violent passion with periods of sharp cooling.
Union of spouses with three year difference age is too emotional and will stand the test only if one of the partners is able to balance the relationship. Marriage is similar to it with a six year difference at the age of partners. It will develop successfully only when both are ready to maintain a relationship. But in terms of revealing the creative potential of the spouses, such a marriage is considered an ideal option.
Marriage where husband or wife four years older promises complete harmony. This is a marriage-friendship, in which trusting relationships between spouses remain even after a divorce.
Difference between spouses at 5, 10 or 15 years perfect if they are united by common affairs and interests.
Marriage with the difference between husband and wife is considered extremely stable. at 7, 8 or 14 years old.
Nine years difference promises a difficult and conflicting marriage, which, however, can stimulate the creative potential of lovers of poignancy in a relationship. The eleven-year marriage, in which quarrels and reconciliations alternate, is similar to him.
With a twelve year difference in age, luck in marriage especially depends on the willingness of partners to make concessions.
Married with a difference of thirteen years, according to Zoroastrians, spirituality comes to the fore. Well and sixteen year difference in their age, in their opinion, the best union combining the magic of all lucky numbers.
... However, the main condition for a happy life together is still love, the desire to give warmth and understanding to your chosen one. And then no age difference will be a hindrance.
Ecology of consciousness. Psychology: According to the calculations of experts, it does not matter which spouse is older, the main thing is what is the difference in age. So...
According to the calculations of experts, it does not matter which spouse is older, the main thing is what is the difference in age. So...
The difference is zero.
In such marriages, better work out household relations, but much worse with self-development and boring in sex.
The difference is 1 year.
In such unions, the dominant role usually belongs to the woman, although she does not often have to use her domineering power.
The difference is 2 years.
Such marriages are extremely financially unstable, even with high earnings, money oozes like sand through the fingers. Relationships are built on emotions, which on takeoff give an unforgettable experience, and on a recession can lead to a break.
The difference is 3 years, 6 years, 9 years.
A husband and wife with such an age difference do not so much differ in their views on life, but are prone to a conflict of temperaments. However, they manage to get along even though they are completely unable to appreciate each other's worth.
© Annie Leibovitz
The difference is 4 years.The spiritual and sexual aspects of life are harmonious, which is a guarantee of a stable and long marriage. If the marriage nevertheless breaks up, then the former partners will still remain friends.
The difference is 5 years, 10 years, 15 years.
Relations are especially successful if the professional or creative life of the spouses is on the same plane.
The difference is 7 years, 14 years.
Such pairs usually exist in an atmosphere of insincerity., where partners hide even completely innocent details of their past or present from each other (for example, earnings or health problems). However, the probability of divorce is extremely small - these two are drawn to each other.
The difference is 8 years.
This seems to be the best age difference possible. The marriage will pass any test and its "authors" will be unconditionally recognized as happy. Spouses will be given everything - both love and understanding,
and tenderness and sexual attraction.
The difference is 11 years.
The relationship of such spouses is similar to tragedy. Stormy scandals give way to no less stormy sex, and reconciliation is followed by a new scandal. Breaks and divorces will be required, as will subsequent reunions and love games.
The difference is 12 years.
Relationships of partners are complex, up to the point of drama, but interesting. To save such a marriage can only the ability of both to compromise. In happy moments of life there is no one more beautiful than this couple.
The difference is 13 years.
Such people are kept and happy in marriage by a spiritual community. Best of all, if one of the partners is a big value in his work, and the second is an associate of his half.
The difference is 16 years.
Marriage is rare, but the happiest. Even happier than 4 and 8 year olds. Happiness is just over the edge.
As you can see, astrologers limited themselves to analyzing marriages with a difference of up to 16 years. And if the age gap is even greater? Years 20, 30 or 40? Psychologists analyzed the success and failure of such unions and came to the following conclusions.
© Annie Leibovitz
Husband is much younger, wife is much older
Prospects
Intimacy.
At first, there will be a complete idyll in sex. A woman has reached the peak of sexuality, is liberated, knows what she wants and knows how to express her feelings and desires. If she will take care of herself and continue to surprise her husband with the pleasures of sexual expression, then the harmony in intimate life will be long or lifelong. If a woman “launches” herself externally or allows sex to become routine, then adultery of the young husband is inevitable, possibly right up to divorce.
Health.
With a young wife, the wife is better to be healthy and energetic. An eternally ill wife will look even older, making the couple more disharmonious. A sick husband in such a tandem will not be abandoned, but will be perceived by others as "an unfriendly child of a caring mother."
Friends.
Girlfriends of the same age as his wife will intensely captivate the "boy", and it is possible that some of them will succeed. However, the company of the peers of the young husband is even less preferable, since against her background the solid age of the wife will especially stand out. In addition, this party will be a sea of \u200b\u200byoung competitors. Therefore, the best option is to communicate less with friends, limiting ourselves to casual and non-binding acquaintances.
Relatives.
Most parents do not want to hear anything about “overripe” daughters-in-law and “young” grooms. However, if a couple manages to establish itself as happy or at least harmonious, backing it all up with the birth of a healthy baby, then it is likely that irreconcilable relatives will replace anger with mercy and recognize a son-in-law or a daughter-in-law.
The heirs.
Young men, as a rule, are worthless fathers, they still need to grow and mature before paternity. However, if a man wants to be the "adult husband" of a respectable lady, then he will react to his father's duties with double responsibility.
If a woman already has children, then the situation is complicated. Due to the small age difference, they will not perceive their mother’s husband as a dad (and it hardly makes sense to force them). Worse if they show mutual or one-sided sexual interest in each other. This is certainly the end of an unequal marriage - scandalous and traumatic.
Money.
A wife with a respectable number of years and a weighty wallet next to a cute dipper without a penny in her pocket is a ratio that is often found and does not last long. Young people without complexes often easily enter into such marriages, considering them sponsorship. If the money runs out, then the "love" of the spouse ends. If he is not only young, but also entrepreneurial in the commercial plan, then, having gained at least some independence in the financial plan, he will decisively leave the family nest. It rarely happens differently.
Compromises.
Any marriage needs them. With the ratio “wife is older, husband is youth”, a woman will have to close her eyes and forgive, forgive, forgive for much in her husband’s behavior. A man will have to put up with endless jealousy and suspicions, as well as always prove that he is a man, and not a jerk-dependent.
Husband is much older, wife is much younger
Prospects
Intimacy.
The peak of the groom’s sexuality has long been behind, so you can not expect a frenzied pressure and African passion from him. If he is in good shape, goes in for sports, or is sexually active by nature, then the young wife will at first be quite pleased with the intimate side of life, discovering love with a mature partner. As female sexuality grows with the number of years in the bedroom, the crisis will increase. Young husbands of peers will awaken special feelings in a woman. In order to turn the situation to their advantage, the elderly spouse will have to either allow (explicitly or behind the scenes) the wife to have a lover for an intimate pastime, or "make" her more children - then she will not be "stupid".
Health.
A healthy man, much less a husband, is better than a sick man, regardless of age. With an active and at the same time sparing the body's lifestyle, in principle, you can maintain health until old age. Ailments of a husband are easier to bear if he does not focus on them and does not neglect the prescriptions of doctors.
Friends.
If the interests coincide, then the age of the husband’s friends is of little importance. And the spouse will not mind if young girlfriends visit his young wife. But on visiting friends of the same age, with or without girlfriends, a smart mature husband will ban. It is best for such spouses to communicate with similar couples. Adult uncles will gossip about theirs, and girls will tweet about theirs.
Relatives.
Parents of the husband (if alive) will treat the daughter-in-law patronizing or indifferent. If they suspect her of a mercantile choice of the groom, they will hate and begin to plot.The most correct thing is to pick up one key or another to them and establish relations. Parents of the bride will be the same age or even younger than the groom. If they are against the choice of a daughter, then all the same in relations with the son-in-law they will maintain a respectful or restrained tone.
The heirs.
My husband probably already has them, besides they’re the same age or older than their young wife. They are unlikely to like dad's new wife, and you should not count on their goodwill.Having a baby from an older spouse is also good. Mature man likely to be a wonderful caring father seekingconvey to the child all his experience and wisdom.
Money.
Young and old girls do not marry the elderly and poor - there is no need. Unless for very talented, but not recognized, or for registration. In most cases, the groom is not too young, but very wealthy, which gives him confidence. He is likely to share the inheritance between former and real wives and children, than everyone will be extremely unhappy.
It will be interesting to you:
Compromises.
A woman who marries a man who is ten years older than her needs to reconcile with the idea that she will give her best years to her elderly spouse, and at 40 - 45 she will be left alone and, most likely, she will not marry again. A man in his years, taking a girl as a wife, will have to pretend that he does not see how she "licks" at young men, how she breaks into discos and youth parties. And finally, how will she try to have a lover ...published
At the initial stage of the relationship, couples in love feel so happy that they do not think about further life together. Is it possible to predict in advance the development of events, and is it worth it to do if at the moment everything is going so well? Who cares who is older if people love each other? Public opinion is annoying because people around judge the situation without seeing it from all sides. Of course, the age difference alone cannot be the cause of conflicts, or vice versa, the key to happiness - there are still personal qualities of nature and a host of other factors. Nevertheless, psychologists have revealed some features of relationships in which the husband is much older than his wife, or vice versa.
Peer marriage
The most common relationship model. The level of mutual understanding is high, even if the spouses have different views on life. People who grew up at the same time, it is easier to understand each other. Children in such marriages are most often born a few years after the wedding - the newlyweds want to live for themselves, and time does not rush them (if the spouses are young).
The beginning is good and promising, but mutual understanding and predictability of the course of events gradually lead to a loss of interest on both sides. Relationships must be constantly refreshed, surprise each other, make changes in their appearance (for women) so that the everyday side of life does not turn your relationship into a routine.
Husband is older than wife
In pre-revolutionary times, such marriages were natural - a young girl was given out to marry a man who was her father's age, and marriages with peers were very rare. Then came the long-awaited freedom of choice, and families where there is a significant age difference between spouses have become a rare occurrence. In recent years, the trend towards marriage with mature men is gaining momentum again, and the reason for this was the reluctance of the stronger sex to marry in youth. Of course, this is not about all men, but according to statistics, the average age of most suitors has increased significantly. Since the childbearing age of women is shorter than that of men, girls who dream of family happiness are drawn to those men who are mentally prepared for marriage.
5-7 years difference
Golden mean. The difference in age is almost not felt, and subject to compatibility in temperament, views on life are completely the same. If we are not talking about too young a couple, then the man managed to get the necessary life experience and is ready to create a family. According to statistics, it is in such marriages that a greater number of children are born than in the rest.
There are exceptions, but in most cases in such love unions the role of the leader goes to the man. The woman feels protected, and the man is responsible for the relationship. If a couple is linked by mutual feelings, then the chances of happiness for lovers are very high.
The difference is 8-17 years
The initial interest is very strong. A man, older in age, is attractive to a woman because he looks more confident and reliable than his peer. In addition, an adult man is much better versed in female psychology than a young guy, and therefore does not make common mistakes leading to conflict. If he already has experience of an unsuccessful marriage, he will be more careful about choosing a second wife, so his second marriage promises to be stronger than the first.
There is a flip side to the coin. A girl or young woman has a much higher need for sex than a man who is 10 years or more older than her. Over time, the young wife begins to stare at younger men, and the husband, feeling her loss of interest, does not always act deliberately, as a result of which there is a crisis in the relationship, which can be fatal for marriage.
Difference of 20 years or more
Such relationships are often decided by young girls who in childhood did not have enough care and attention from their father. In their life partner they want to find a reliable shoulder, so the attention from a mature man is very pleasant to them. If it is not a matter of seeking material benefits from a woman, the sustainability of these relations will have to be constantly worked on. Relationship problems may include the following:
- Lack of common friends and interests. Most of the friends of the spouse are about the same age with him; therefore, the young girl will not be interested in either them or their wives. You can, of course, relax separately, but given the age difference between the spouses, this is not the best solution. So that the husband and wife do not begin to move away from each other, they will need to constantly seek compromises and go towards each other;
- Birth of children. This problem does not apply to all couples, but it is still relevant. The young wife dreams of motherhood, and the husband has already managed to raise children from a previous marriage, so he is not eager to become a father again. It hardly makes sense to put pressure on him, or look for a way to become pregnant, since his honest admission that having a baby will not make him happy will in itself constitute a serious warning;
- Jealousy. No matter how the husband tries to convince the young wife that he fully trusts her and not, deep down, he realizes the strength of competition from young and strong men. If you do not take jealousy under control in time, it will lead to distrust, the relationship will deteriorate, and it is likely that the spouse’s fears will be justified. Suspicions are unpleasant for any woman, and if you too often hear reproaches addressed to you, you may one day decide to make a choice in favor of a more calm and trusting relationship.
Wife older than husband
Such a model of relationships is less common than the previous one, for the reason that not every woman is ready to decide on a relationship with a man who is younger than her. The weaker sex is more dependent on public opinion, and if a mature man will be proud of his young wife, adult women often complex against the background of their young chosen ones.
5-7 years difference
Given the fact that modern women do everything to look young, the difference may not be noticeable externally. There are obvious advantages to such a union:
- The woman clearly knows what she wants;
- Most often, she is financially independent of a man;
- The sexual activity of lovers completely coincides.
Most often, a woman dominates in such relationships, but this is not about obvious pressure on a man, but rather about a veiled ability to get things done. This does not mean that the man will definitely be “under the heel,” because he also has his own interest in these relations, and even his own benefit. To conquer an older woman is much easier than the same age. Of course, for some women this model of relationships is unacceptable, but now we are talking about those who are trying to arrange their personal lives with all their might and consider all options as possible. A woman who is older in age is no longer so confident in her irresistibility, and she has less and less time every year to find her happiness. The main positive side of such relations is a smaller number of conflicts between spouses than in a family of two peers. A woman has become wiser and more tolerant, and therefore more loyal and less picky.
8-15 years difference
Quite a tangible difference, which can not be imperceptible. Each of the parties has its own motivation for the development of these relations. If the couple is united by feelings, it is unlikely that the relationship has a chance to be cloudless, since the woman will certainly be present with fear of a possible disconnection from her beloved. If she does not take control of her emotions, even the strongest feelings will not save the marriage. Feeling the tension, or worse, the attempts of total control by the spouse, the young husband will not be able to withstand one day and will want to make his life easier ...
Difference of 16 years or more
If this relationship is based on mutual feelings, then it is rather not love, but a bright but short burst of passion. In this case, like a relationship in a spa romance, both parties are well aware from the very beginning that the relationship will not be long.
If it is not about meetings, but about marriage, where the wife is significantly older than the husband, most often it is a matter of material interest on his part. This may be living space, generous gifts, the absence of the need to work, or vice versa, promotion along the career ladder under the auspices of the spouse.
There are exceptions to any rule, and the likelihood of strong mutual love is always present. In order to maintain her happiness, a woman needs to abandon attempts to dominate the relationship, otherwise the young husband will feel as if he is not next to his beloved woman, but with a powerful mother.
Greetings to all my readers! I will share with you my next opinion on this issue: the ideal age difference between a man and a woman. Should a man be older or younger than his companion?
I’m eating somehow in a subway car. There is a couple at the exit. He is over 50, bald, fat, dressed with taste. She is about 25 years old. He constantly leans towards Her and kisses somewhere between the ear and the cheek. At the same time, she pulls away a little, looks away. Then at the next station, He takes Her hand and they leave.
What relationship connects this couple? What do they have in common? Who do they belong to each other?
It is immediately clear that a middle-aged man is already in love with a girl. Maybe he’s not in love, but he’s just flattered by the attention of a young girl. On her part, sheer love is not observed. It can be seen that she is embarrassed by her gentleman. Itself does not show any initiative in the expression of feelings.
Then what is she doing next to him? The answer suggests itself: a man with money, with status. Maybe the girl is attracted to just that?
What is the ideal age difference between a man and a woman?
The man is much older than the woman
I don’t understand such men. Do they really think that at their age they can count on the love of a young girl?
After all, it is absolutely clear that there is no love here at all, and there is only a mercantile interest.
The girl will play the role of a lover for some time, get everything for the sake of which this relationship was started. And all, goodbye love.
And the man, meanwhile, having aged a little more, remains alone. And if he does not draw any conclusions, then he is likely to step on the same rake again.
Take a look Ural Dumplings Show "Tolya-Zhuk" :
A woman is much older than a man
The same can be said about a young woman, who for some reason believes that a man much younger than her can sincerely fall in love, and even call him married. Yes, she’s such a smart beauty, but ... for her age.
And a man who chooses a woman 20-30 years older than himself, most often turns out to be an ordinary gigolo.
You don’t have to go far for an example: again, I’m going on the subway. Nearby sits a granny 80 years old (she herself told me about her age). Next, I bring the story with her words:
“Here I am already nineteen, there is no husband. I buried four. I really want to meet a man. But where to get it?
Men no longer look at me - give them young ones! And there are no men of my age left ...
I met here recently with one. He's under 60. She let her live with her. And he, the infection, has never even given a single flower, in the restaurant I always pay for it.
Only money is constantly asking and spending on his mistress. So I kicked him out ... "
How do you like this? Is this not the man under 60 (for 50) who kissed the girl in the subway? And there are many such stories.
Let's look at a peer union
He is young, beautiful, she is beautiful, young (for example, studying together at a university). Everything is great. We decided to be together. It takes a year, two, or even ten. And at some point they realize that there’s nothing to talk about. Suddenly it turns out that they have different values \u200b\u200bin life, different concepts, polar priorities.
And these people begin to disperse, scatter.
And the explanation for this phenomenon is quite simple: these comrades do not have common interests, hobbies, they even have a different perception of the world.
Why it happens? I think because one person in a pair develops, grows above himself, constantly learns something, and the second just lives, not really interested in anything.
From here comes the difference in worldview, in relation to the environment, and from here conflicts, quarrels, misunderstanding. All. We have nothing in common, we no longer love each other and we have nothing to be together for.
That is why many couples break up, although it all started so well.
A man must be older than his chosen one
It's my personal opinion. A man should be older, but no more than 10-12 years old. Next - just a bust. Forgive me men who will read this article, but their brains in everyday life develop a little longer than women.
In no way do I want to “hook” a strong sex, it’s just that nature has laid it. And that is why the union of a 25-year-old woman and a 35-year-old man, for example, is good.
In addition, it is after 30 years that many men just mature for the family.
They understand well what they want from family relationships, clearly imagine the role of husband and father and are very consciously preparing for the appearance of heirs.
At the same age, many men already have a status in society, a position, they are more confident on their feet.
Of course, there is a charm in creating a family with your classmate. Both are young, promising. all difficulties go together, maybe even hardships. Together they get to their feet, achieve something, raise children.
But the prose of life is such that after going all the way from and to with her husband, a woman after 20-30 years of marriage can well be left alone, and her husband will kiss on the subway with a young girl. And it’s good if all his property does not miraculously pass to his new darling, but remains to his wife and children.
I'm not saying that this is always what happens, but such cases are not isolated.
Watch one final video of the dangers of tediousness. Satirical magazine "Wick" 1972 Just like that, not the topic:
eleanor brik
A popular saying in Russia: "all ages are submissive to love." Anyone wants to find a soul mate. And sometimes the circumstances are such that the person you love is older or younger than you. Does the problem create a relationship, or is it the stereotypes that have developed in society?
Optimum ratio
Is there a clear framework, what is the optimal age difference between a man and a woman, or does it all depend on the mentality, mentality and nature of the partners.
Women, on the contrary, stare at experienced men older than themselves.
Age difference in different countries
Finns decided that the best age difference between spouses is 15 years. The woman is younger. In this situation, their offspring will be born healthy, without any physical and mental deviations. But in fact, compliance with these indicators is only 10%. Therefore, scientists are sure that less and less healthy children are born every year. According to average statistics, 3 years is the most common bar, while the husband is older than his wife.
IN Of Sweden after studies of several thousand couples, scientists came to the conclusion that the best age difference is 6 years. But better is less than more. In addition, after conducting a sociological survey, the main criterion for marriage for women is the material well-being of men. If he has a well-paid job, then feelings are not important. It turns out that the Swedes are prone to marriages of convenience.
IN Of England the situation is different. Wives there are more often older than men. About 50/50% of a wife is older than her husband: from a few days to 5 years, from 5 years and older. Scientists believe that the higher the level of intelligence in men, the healthier he will be born offspring. Moreover, age does not play any role.
IN America researchers went a completely different way. They conducted a survey among 8,000 respondents, finding out the age at which they lost their innocence. According to the collected data, it turned out that those who lost their virginity in the period of 14-16 years old have children with poor health, as well as those who lost their innocence at the age of 22 and older. The optimal period of deprivation of virginity was from 17 to 18 years. Their children were born relatively strong.
IN Of Russia the situation is this: a smaller percentage occurred in marriages, where the husband is younger than his wife by 5 years or more (about 6%). The largest share fell on the same age and with a difference of 2-5 years (a man older than a woman).
Does this indicator affect the strength and length of marriage? After all, some happily live a married life until their last breath, while others after a couple of years begin to quietly hate each other. Lately .
The strength of the relationship also depends on the age at which the couple married. The period from 18 to 20 years is considered unreliable. Spouses are still too young, inexperienced, unable to compromise. Moreover, age does not allow them to be independent. It is rare when at 18 there is a stable income and the ability to go up the career ladder. Because of this, difficulties arise with housing, the choice of priorities, where to spend money in the first place.
At this age, girls and boys have not yet walked up, so it is likely that after a while one of the partners will begin to change, lead a wild life. What is the result.
If a child appears in such a pair, it periodically happens that the responsibilities for caring for the baby fall on the hands of the parents of the newlyweds.
When a couple marries at the age of 25-30, then it can be said with almost complete certainty that they responsibly approached such a decision. Most likely, the partners already have stable work, some career issues have faded into the background, there is an experience of relationships, the ability to compromise in difficult situations. As a rule, if such a couple was able to live the first five-year period, then further difficulties will be resolved with a bang. 
The optimal age difference between a man and a woman is a range of 3-5 years. It does not matter who is older than the couple.
Age difference in years: features
3-5 years
If a woman or a man is 3-5 years older than a partner, you can consider them almost the same age. For such a short period of time, interests do not change, so partners will always find common activities, the same problems that are solved together. They always have something to talk about, what to do at home on a dull gray day.
6-11 years old
This difference is already impressive, so it is important that the man was older than his wife. If in youth still age-related differences are not so noticeable, then by the age of 40-50, a woman begins menopause and hormonal changes. Because of this, the appearance does not change for the better, wrinkles appear. At the same time, the man still remains fresh, young and cheerful. He is able to attract a young girl. Therefore, if the family has a weak connection, there is no love, there is no mutual respect, then most likely.
There are exceptions.
Over 11 years
It is important that a woman knows how to compromise. In such a pair, for the successful development of relations it is required that a man in his chosen one not only sees a woman, but also a child, whom he will look after, instruct him on the right path in life, and teach. A woman must be wise so that the relationship lasts a long time, she must at least pretend that she likes to take such care of herself as a child. If it is otherwise, and the woman is capricious, this marriage will end.
A man is more than 10 years younger than a woman
Such a difference is unlikely to find understanding among relatives and friends. This marriage is possible, but if the following conditions are met: a woman does not assume the role of “mommy”, she does not jealously treat the young environment of her husband of the opposite sex, does not control every step of the chosen one.
Of the minuses: the difference in interests, social circle, often - the inability to have a child and financial superiority over the spouse.
Of the pros: woman's wisdom, life experience, control of emotions.
It has gone from antiquity that a man is the head of the family, a breadwinner, and a woman leads her life, obeys. When this formula is violated, then the marriage between people will soon be unhappy or will last a short time. But there are exceptions to the rules.
The reaction of family and friends
If the difference between lovers is more than 10 years, this is not always perceived positively by relatives and friends. On the part of relatives, condemnation and misunderstanding are felt. What to do so that family and friends stop climbing into your life and trust in the choice:
Talk to relatives in private, gather family council. Explain to them that you are no longer a girl, and you can make decisions on your own, so choosing a man is everyone’s personal business.
If this conversation did not enlighten relatives, and they continue to be perplexed, indignant and show antipathy to your partner, call him to visit. Prepare dinner, prepare wine for gatherings. Ask your loved one to be yourself without “showing off” and boasting. The family should like it. Let him explain the situation from his bell tower, talk about feelings, emotions and plans for the future. For parents and relatives to accept him, he must give the impression of a positive, calm and dignified person.
Honestly, what is the age of the chosen one. Lies have not yet brought anyone to a positive solution to the problem. Even if the difference is 20 or higher, say so.
Husband suits fathers
Young women are attracted to men older than 15 years. They are attracted by experience, the special relationship of the husband to his wife, as to a child. But relatives and friends are often dissatisfied with such an alliance, they prophesy parting, the inability to have children. And if the husband also makes good money, then the woman is accused of chasing money, not a love affair. Can such a union develop, have a future?
The desire to be under the wing of a mature man most often comes from childhood. Or the girl was overly patronized by her father, and in adulthood, she is looking for a similar person, a similar relationship. There is another situation when a girl grew up without a father, she lacked male attention. And now, when she grew up, she gets a “daddy”.
Such marriages are often successful, but some of them cannot be called such. The husband assumes the dominant role, solves the problems of the family, teaches the wife, relations become “father-daughter”. Due to a difference of more than 20 years, psychological distinctions arise, differences in interests, sexual preferences and opportunities. It so happens that a woman finds solace on the side, as an adult husband does not satisfy her needs. If he finds out about a partner’s betrayal, he often puts up with such a statement of things. Although this situation does not bring him positive emotions, but rather, on the contrary. 
Being under the full care of a man, a woman forgets about herself and her development. With a negative outcome (husband’s death or care), a woman is left without a livelihood. She did not have time to get an education, she never worked and in fact she knows little. Therefore, further independent life is in question.
Some women eventually outgrow such relationships, built on the care of the father for the daughter. They become independent, go to work. The husband does not like it, on his part there is a zealous attitude. Sometimes such husbands forbid their wives to work because of raging emotions, actually imprison them, control every step.
Another disadvantage of a relationship with a significant one is the inability to have children. This is due to the physiological characteristics of men. But in this case, contact the orphanage to take the baby from there.
It is not necessary to blindly trust statistical studies, the opinions of psychologists, trust each other, your own feelings and emotions, then a happy life with your loved one is guaranteed. Age distinctions are not the main criteria for choosing a loved one. When meeting, do not rush to look at your passport and check the year of birth. Remember that this fact can affect life together. But we ourselves are the smiths of our happiness.
February 19, 2014, 14:32
