For every woman, the birth of a child is the most long-awaited and crucial moment. Most of the girls from early childhood dream of holding their beloved child in their hands, feeding and educating him. However, along with work and other difficulties in life, a lot of trials fall on the female share. After childbirth, many people think that they are simply not ready for motherhood.

This gives rise to problems associated with the fact that the lady says: "I do not want to feed the baby with breast milk." Sometimes this is due to fashion trends and the fact that modern women have much more hobbies and interests than our grandmothers and great-grandmothers. However, most often psychologists and gynecologists associate these problems with a psychological factor. Indeed, many women have to survive postpartum depression.

Almost all girls are faced with the fact that their life is completely changing. Not everyone is able to psychologically rebuild so quickly. Therefore, today in the forums women are increasingly writing "I do not want to breast-feed." What to do in this situation? First of all, you need to understand what exactly this problem is associated with. For example, girls face physiological problems that also interfere with normal breastfeeding (HB). It is worth considering the most common problems and how to solve them.

Painful sensations

Some women have too low a threshold for sensitivity. And others can quite safely feed the baby, even if they have bloody cracks and bruises. It all depends on the specific situation.

You need to understand that in the first days of feeding, the female breast is not yet accustomed to new circumstances, so some discomfort may appear. Most often painful sensations are caused by improper capture of the chest.

If there are thoughts “I do not want to feed breast milk”, then in this case it is recommended to consult a consultant who will explain how to properly bring the baby to the source of milk. It is worth considering that even with the lowest threshold of sensitivity, there are numerous ways to solve the problem. For example, there are special devices and massage methods that help get rid of discomfort during the natural feeding of the baby.

Postpartum depression

I do not want to feed the baby with breast milk, I do not know how to keep it, I do not want to live! This is only a small fraction of the disturbing thoughts that many girls face. During this period, women sometimes begin to have very serious mental disorders. As a rule, this is due to repeated hormonal changes in the body. At this time, some women can’t even think about breastfeeding. It is far from easy for everyone to accept serious changes in their life. The birth of a child is a new event and a fundamental restructuring of all life.

In order to solve this problem, it is first necessary to understand that breastfeeding is very important for a newborn baby. The sooner the mother begins to perform these manipulations, the faster she will be able to get out of depression. When the mother holds the baby in her arms and feeds him, she begins to realize that her life has changed only for the better and that she should not be afraid. Through HS, a connection is established between the mother and her child. If she refuses this natural process, then she will deepen her depressive state even more.

After the birth of the baby, it is important to remember that he is experiencing tremendous stress. If his mother at this moment refuses to help him, then it will be more difficult for him to adapt to a world completely new to him.

To overcome the idea that I do not want to breastfeed, many women have helped experts. In reviews, ladies share their impressions of communicating with a psychologist. If you do not want to contact such a specialist, then you should consult with friends who already have children.

Fatigue amid numerous limitations

From the very first days after the birth of a child, every woman is forced to face the fact that everything she loved to do before pregnancy is now forbidden to her. At the same time, she can not only relax with a glass of her favorite wine, but even must abandon her favorite aromatic borsch or a delicious salad. Women are forbidden to drink coffee, eat chocolate and eat exotic fruits. It is necessary to completely abandon sushi and other raw products. No alcohol or cigarettes. Against this background, the nursing mother only grows discomfort. The idea that she does not want to feed breast milk, visits her more and more often.

In order to solve this problem, first of all, you should not panic and understand the situation. The fact is that different sources are completely different from each other lists of products that are strictly prohibited during breastfeeding. Accordingly, it is easy to conclude that a clear list of products that are banned does not exist.

You also need to understand that not only mother's milk, but also many other factors can cause childhood colic. Some mothers do not change their diet at all, with the exception of quitting alcohol and smoking, while their children do not experience any serious problems. It is enough to pay attention to your reaction to specific products or the appearance of irritation on the skin of the baby.

Thus, you can create your own list of prohibited products and not deny yourself absolutely everything. In this case, an individual approach is required. It is best to consult a specialist. If you really want to eat some exotic fruit, it is recommended that you use it just a little bit the first day. If the child does not have any allergic reaction, then in the following days you can afford large portions of your favorite dessert.

Of course, alcohol, coffee and cigarettes are strictly prohibited in any case. They negatively affect health and can harm the child.

Stress due to strong attachment to the baby

Mothers who do not want to breast-feed often say in reviews that they worry that after giving birth they cannot devote even one free minute to themselves. They should spend all their time exclusively with the baby, since during this period of time a helpless newborn can easily injure himself accidentally. However, do not despair so much. If you really want to go for a walk or meet friends, you do not have to limit yourself.

Modern mothers are characterized by mobility, since there are a huge number of tools that help carry a child over a fairly long distance. For example, you can take spare diapers, wet wipes and a carrycot with you and, if necessary, change your baby's dressing room. Numerous exhibition complexes, shopping centers, train stations, airports and many other institutions are equipped with a special changing table for babies. Thus, you can not limit yourself to shopping and meeting with friends.

In order to feed the baby and at the same time not to shock others and not feel awkward, you can use special devices for expressing milk. After that, it is poured into a bottle that can be offered to the baby if he is hungry.

According to reviews, being outside the house, many mothers prepare dry mixtures for their children. Today's formulations differ in vitamin complexes and, by and large, they are able to supply the crumbs with all the necessary trace elements. However, you should not completely transfer the baby to milk powder from the first days of life.

First pregnancy

What to do if a young mother says: "Does not want to breastfeed"? Is this normal and is it an indication of her incompetence as a parent? Do not judge strictly girls. Very often women who have the first baby have refused lactation. In this case, the ladies are faced with more serious changes in their lives. For 9 months, the woman has been experiencing high spirits, as she was sure that having a baby would bring only happy moments. However, from the first hours after giving birth, she is forced to face constant crying and the fact that she can not leave the child even for a few seconds. You have to forget about a full sleep and other activities that help relax mentally and physically.

However, do not panic. If a girl does not want to feed breast milk what to do in this situation, psychology will tell. First of all, you need to understand that the maternal instinct is very strong. Therefore, you need to overpower yourself and put the baby to the chest at least once. After this, many girls are guaranteed to change their worldview and understand how happy it is to take care of a new life.

Environmental pressure

Young mothers often have to deal with constant advice from their mother-in-law or their mother, especially if they and their partner live with their parents. Some girls, especially at a young age, start to instinct, which tells them to go against everything. In this case, the more people around will say that she is obliged to feed her baby with her milk, the more negation will be nurtured in the representative of the fair sex.

Therefore, if the mother-in-law complains that the daughter-in-law does not want to breastfeed, first of all it is worth taking a look at her behavior. Parents of spouses should reconsider the attitude to the young mother. You should not put too much pressure on her and believe that she knows absolutely nothing in this life. You can help the girl with advice, but you should not put pressure on her and constantly teach.

The first pregnancy is associated with other problems. In 10% of cases, ladies experience extreme emotional stress. This is especially true if the first birth was unsuccessful or very difficult. In this case, the woman develops psychological rejection in relation to the child, who caused her so much pain.

9% of modern girls just do not want to spoil their figure. Many of them fear that it will sag and become unattractive. However, not all ladies who do not want to breastfeed understand that today there is a huge list of devices that prevent such problems. For example, on sale you can find specialized bras, with the constant wearing of which you can forget about such deformations of the mammary glands.

12% of the ladies surveyed simply do not want to be so attached to the child. They understand that if they begin to constantly feed with milk, then this will develop into a child’s dependence on the mother. It will be more difficult to give him to a day nursery or kindergarten. If the girls are still very young, then they want to live their own lives. This is a common explanation why women do not want to breastfeed.

37% of the fair sex are aimed at building a career, so they refuse to GV. They do this in order to wean the child from their presence as soon as possible and return to work.

Also, some girls want to continue to play sports. However, due to heavy physical exertion, milk disappears.

Repeated pregnancy

For many, it becomes surprising that a woman after the first birth, who calmly fed her baby with milk, for the second time does not want to breastfeed. Reviews on this subject are very different. For example, many attribute their behavior to the fact that each labor activity proceeds differently. If the first pregnancy passed without any serious problems, then repeated birth could be with complications. In this case, the ladies are forced to face the same psychological problems that were described earlier.

Even with repeated pregnancy, emotional instability can be observed. In addition, very often after the birth of the first baby, women need a lot of time to restore their physical shape, go to work and enter a new rhythm of life. The appearance of the second child again destroys all the dreams and plans of the lady, so she begins to experience some coldness in relation to her child. However, this is not her true relationship. This is just a psychological restructuring, which the lady is forced to survive.

Also, according to statistics, very often during subsequent pregnancy, women undergo a caesarean section. As a rule, after this, the girl simply experiences a very strong physical weakness and is simply not able to independently what to feed her baby, but even raise it in her arms.

Continuous breastfeeding

If, after a long period of lactation, a woman decided to abandon breastfeeding, then, most likely, she is stressed or experiencing postpartum depression. Perhaps some accident happened in the family.

It is also worth considering the state of health of the mother. For example, if a girl after 4 months does not want to breastfeed, then maybe she does it for medical reasons. There is a possibility that she discovered a pathology, according to which the doctor recommended giving preference to dry mixtures. There is also such a concept, Similar can happen after a rather long successful GW.

If we are talking about health problems, then in this case, refusal to breast-feed is quite justified. Do not feed the baby with that milk, which can transmit the infection or cause even greater harm to the baby.

What is the danger of refusal from breastfeeding?

If a woman does not want to breastfeed anymore, then she should understand that hepatitis B is important not only for the baby. Refusal from lactation can negatively affect the health, as well as the life of the mother herself. Not always such a decision is the right one.

For example, if a lady went to work and at the same time she wants to quit breastfeeding, this does not stop the lactation process. Accordingly, milk will still accumulate in her mammary glands. You will have to periodically face situations when it will appear through clothes and attract the attention of colleagues.

In addition, failure to breastfeed is fraught with constant pain in the mammary gland. There is a high probability that mastitis will develop (68% of women who refuse lactation are diagnosed with this pathology).

Lactation should stop only with natural inhibition or while taking special medications that the doctor prescribes. In all other situations, this can only be harmful.

I do not want to feed breast milk: what to do?

If a girl understands that she can’t overpower herself in any way, then you should not bring yourself to even more stress. This will lead to a deterioration in her condition and the health of the baby. However, on the Web there is an opinion that you need to feed the baby as long as possible with breast milk. This is not entirely true.

There are certain conditions and recommendations of doctors that are slightly different from these data. For example, some experts recommend stopping breastfeeding at the age of six months. According to practice, this period is the best for the introduction of complementary foods.

At 9 months, babies begin to chew and bite their breasts actively. This leads to incredibly strong pain and can harm the health of the mother. Therefore, if weaning was not done earlier, now the time has come.

By 1 year, the child begins to walk, run and play the first sounds similar to words. At the same time, the baby is already absolutely calmly eating various infant formulas. He no longer has such a strong need for HS.

Thus, it is not always dangerous if the mother does not want to breast-feed. What to do in this situation, no need to guess. If a child has been fed breast milk for a sufficient period, then it is normal to transfer it to solid food so that its jaw apparatus is formed correctly.

If a woman is in a depressed psychological state and does not want to breastfeed her newborn, then you should first consult a doctor. He will help to understand yourself and understand that the child is not the one who came to this world to destroy the life of his mother.

You need to explain to your environment that a woman does not need advice, but at the same time she will not refuse help. Her family should help her unwind. Therefore, they can take on some responsibilities for caring for a child, so that mom has time to fully sleep or spend time for herself.

You should never be ashamed of changing your figure. It is not surprising that after carrying a baby, the woman’s body changes a little. However, these deformations are reversible, so do not worry.

Speaking about the fact that a woman does not want to breastfeed and what to do in this situation, it is worth understanding why this is happening. Perhaps the lady is afraid to stop being lusty if her husband finds her feeding her baby. In this case, the spouse should show care and tenderness not only in relation to his child, but also understand through what difficult emotional tests his missus passes.

Breastfeeding is a natural part of a woman’s reproductive cycle, continuing pregnancy and childbirth. Breastfeeding ensures the harmonious development of the child. An artificial mixture, unlike breast milk, is not able to give the baby such reliable support for health and protection against diseases, no matter how much it costs. In addition, the interaction of mother and her crumbs during the process of breastfeeding contributes to the formation of close, tender relationships between them.

Breastfeeding very strongly affects the character of the woman herself, making her soft and sensitive. In addition, earlier cessation of lactation threatens to disrupt the biological program of the body and interferes with the hormonal stabilization of the mother’s body.

If there are no serious contraindications, no pediatrician will recommend replacing mother's milk with a mixture. In most cases, women choose artificial feeding not because they cannot breastfeed, but for many other, most often psychological, reasons.

I will not feed, because I plan to work or study

The problem of lack of time is now perceived as an obstacle to breastfeeding. Domestic disorder makes young mothers look for ways to resolve it. For constant expressing in the space "outside the house" there is not enough strength or desire. Much easier to do with bottles of artificial milk.

If for one reason or another you had to leave the child and go to work (study), you just need to look for time to express the milk, not forgetting the usual hygiene procedures: wash your hands and a breast pump, milk bottles. Expressed milk must be stored in an ordinary refrigerator or a special device - a cooler bag. With it, it is much more convenient to bring food home for a small recipient.

What if the breast changes its shape and becomes ugly?

Breast shape, above all, is a hereditary factor. Breastfeeding can not affect her appearance in any way, because even non-feeding mothers are not always happy with their appearance. Irregular pumping, nutrition for two and dramatic weight loss, lack of assistance in learning how to properly attach and position on the chest, dressing and other factors - these are the reasons that affect the subject of female pride.

A woman's breast consists of adipose and connective tissue and skin. During pregnancy, each of the mammary glands becomes approximately 400 grams larger due to the proliferation of the gland. And in a nursing woman, up to 1400 ml of milk is formed per day. Without the necessary support, stretch marks may appear, the load on the cervical and thoracic spine increases. If these problems have bypassed you, you can safely do without clothes for feeding.

It is not worth falling into despondency at the thought that feeding will forever ruin the breast. Exclusively adipose tissue gives breast volume, so significant weight fluctuations are often reflected in its attractiveness. First of all, you should pay attention to the food consumed, wear special correctional underwear, which allows you to keep your chest in its original form.

Of great importance is the natural termination of breastfeeding, which contributes to the normal course of the process of involution of the mammary gland and the gradual return of adipose tissue, which gives the breast a familiar volume. With a sharp cessation of the lactation process, some women have to struggle with stagnation in the chest (lactostoses) for a long time. During this period, depression is often noted, sometimes requiring even medical treatment, since the body can perceive a similar situation as the loss of a child.

It hurts me to feed

Pain during breastfeeding is a common occurrence. Now there are great opportunities to prevent and solve problems associated with the pain of this process.

To feed it was not painful, first of all, you need to learn how to properly put the baby to the chest. Even during pregnancy, you should start taking care of your breasts: take a contrast shower, massage with a mitten, lubricate it with cream to prevent cracks. However, when using such creams, care should be taken so that such cosmetics repel the child with their smell, or even cause irritation when the skin touches the skin.

I have small breasts, what if milk is not enough?

In this case, size does not matter. The volume of milk produced does not depend on the size and shape of the breast. The division of the breast into "meat" and "milk" is incorrect here. Milk is constantly produced in the alveoli, so the breast of a nursing mother is never "empty", and if the baby is hungry, you do not need to wait between feedings until the breast is "full." Frequent applications accelerate milk production, so women with small breasts should simply be fed more often.

All mothers, regardless of breast capacity, are able to fully provide their babies with milk. The only thing that you need to pay attention to is that a mother with a small breast should never save milk and take long breaks between applications, frequent feeding is a good prevention of stagnation and infections.

I do not want to breastfeed, because my environment did without it

The negative experiences of close relatives and friends have a corresponding effect on a woman and undermine her decision and desire to breastfeed her baby. And, not meeting enough support, embraced by fears and insecurity, an inexperienced mother decides that feeding is difficult and not for her.

In any situation, you need to listen only to your feelings. If your girlfriend could not establish a lactation, this does not mean that this will happen to you. Breastfeeding should not be perceived as hard work, but as a pleasant duty.

I don't want to breastfeed because I'm afraid

Negative experience with her mother in childhood and the belief that she herself will not have milk prevent the woman from fully concentrating on feeding. If the mother of the woman breastfeed her, but at the same time felt discomfort or internal reluctance, but fed under pressure, then, as a rule, the child clearly understands that feeding him is not the most pleasant event for the mother. Consciously, the young mother wants to feed and understands the importance, but subconsciously - she does not want or is afraid to do it and is looking for what are the reasons for the failure in breastfeeding.

There may also be a fear of not coping with this process. Many mothers wind up themselves, panic: what if the child does not have enough milk, is it too fat or fat-free on the contrary? Under the pressure of advertising, the pharmacy stalls with mixtures, nipples, and bottles are emptied in dismay. And on one far from perfect day all these devices find their application. And having tried at least once a meal from a bottle, a child can forever refuse mother's milk.

You should boldly face your fears. There are mothers who do not think about the health of their child. Do not consider yourself in this category of negligent women. The problems associated with lactational crises are easily solved. Do not rush to accustom the child to mixtures, mother's milk is much more useful than artificial substitutes.

Unformed dominant maternity

It so happens that during pregnancy and even after childbirth, the dominants of motherhood in a woman did not form. There are various reasons: an unwanted or difficult pregnancy, an unloved husband, or, conversely, a favorite job, a spoiled figure, pain after childbirth or cesarean. Mixed feelings for the child do not allow the woman to fully achieve spiritual harmony, and instead of putting her child on her chest, contacts with the baby are minimized. And it’s good if there are caring grandmothers (grandfathers) or dads nearby at such moments.

Often in a child, a young mother sees a threat to the life that she had before him. In an effort to return to the past, there is a removal from the child and refusal to feed with milk. We must remember that this is a temporary phenomenon and do not blame yourself. But if postpartum depression is present for more than two weeks, you need to see a doctor for help.

I do not want to breastfeed because it will affect intimate relationships

If a woman during intimacy with her husband gave preference to caresses of the breast and the area around, then putting the baby on the chest can cause her mixed feelings, sexual arousal and, as a consequence, guilt. This reason is easily eliminated in a frank conversation between spouses, where you can openly talk about your worries and feelings.

The case takes on a different, unpleasant turn if the man is not attracted to the nursing wife, does not excite like a woman. Usually a woman takes the side of the child, i.e. continues breastfeeding, and is removed from her husband.

In order to establish the intimate side of marriage, a woman needs to understand and realize the importance of the situation. When a husband refuses sex, this is not an excuse, but a real problem. Perhaps the fact is that the type of lactating woman is associated with the image of his mother. If you continue to feed your baby not with her husband and sometimes arrange romantic evenings in private with each other, the relationship is easy to fix.

The most important thing in breastfeeding is the desire of the mother to feed her baby milk. This needs to be prepared psychologically before childbirth. As practice shows, mothers who are not serious about breastfeeding face a huge number of problems in establishing lactation. In the era of artificial mixtures, it is difficult for a lactating woman to realize that success in this matter depends on her efforts.

Physical contact between mother and baby during feeding creates a sense of security, the baby experiences positive emotions and calms down. Mother’s breasts are much more than satisfying a child’s nutritional needs.   It performs such an important function as sedation, is associated with safety and unlimited love, the baby learns to love and communicate specifically with the chest.

Mother's milk is a convenient and cheap way of feeding compared to any other. Do not forget that children raised on artificial mixtures are more prone to depression, problems with behavior in adolescence and difficulties in establishing an independent family life.

Debunking Myths

Often, women refuse to breastfeed due to a variety of unfounded myths.

Myth 1: Nursing Mom Must Have a Strict Diet

In the diet of nursing mothers, one can often find two extreme opposites: some women begin to heavily lean on food, trying to provide the crumbs with everything necessary, while others, on the contrary, deny themselves the most familiar food, fearing allergies in the child. Neither approach is right.

Nutrition on a strict diet is relevant only during the first month of lactation. "New" products are introduced gradually and carefully so that it is possible to assess the tolerance of their components by the baby. However, the menu should remain full and balanced in the main components - proteins, fats, carbohydrates, calories, vitamin and mineral composition, contain dietary fiber: cereals, boiled and stewed vegetables, lean meat, non-frying soups, dairy products.

In addition, in the first weeks, lactation is only established - it happens that the baby does not have enough milk. Therefore, the mother’s diet must be enriched with products that can stimulate the production of breast milk, and drink plenty of fluids: compotes, special herbal teas for nursing, weak tea, you can add milk. Alcohol is excluded.

Myth 2: The child will constantly hang on his chest and I will not have time for work

Such moments happen in infants of different ages. This is a temporary period associated with lactational crises, and if you do not get nervous, do not blame yourself and the child for what is happening, then this phenomenon quickly and safely ends, and you will return to the usual feeding rhythm. It is worth putting aside all your pedagogical aspirations to a later period and letting the baby hang on his chest for as long as he needs. To help mom comes a joint dream and sling-band.

Myth 3: Feeding will ruin my figure

In the first 6 months of feeding, a woman's weight can actually increase regardless of the diet, but later on, the accumulated fats begin to be consumed, and the efficiency increases as the duration of feeding. It is not worth eating “for two” during this period, since this does not directly affect the sufficiency of lactation. Many women lose weight effectively during lactation. Excess weight, which lasts the entire period of breastfeeding, often indicates hormonal problems on the part of the woman.

Myth 4: Infants will have the wrong bite.

Just the opposite. Breastfeeding is not only a way to instill the baby’s immunity, but also the ability to avoid malocclusion. In a newborn, the lower jaw is noticeably behind the upper, this ensures the safety of the baby at birth. When breastfeeding, the baby works with the muscles of the lower jaw, moving it back and forth. This is an incentive for the growth of the lower jaw and by one year its size reaches normal.

Myth 5: Lactic acid decays in children

Prolonged breastfeeding is not associated with the appearance of caries in children. Breast milk is not in the oral cavity for a long time, in contrast to milk from a bottle. And it immediately falls into the throat, the nipple is at the level of the soft palate. In addition, breast milk protects the oral cavity from drying out, which is one of the causes of caries.

Myth 6: Mom's milk is too fat (or skim)

The concept of fat content in relation to breast milk is incorrect. Breast milk is unique in composition and differs from mother to mother, from child to child, and even has a different composition depending on the time of day. If the baby is gaining weight safely (500 grams per month is considered the norm), cries moderately, does not get nervous, then you should not worry and make hasty conclusions.

Myth 7: I will not be able to use oral contraceptives

The use of birth control pills and other drugs for lactation is possible, but only after consulting a doctor. Usually, nursing mothers are prescribed pills containing hormones from the group of progestogens or mini-dranks, which in no way will harm either the mother or the baby.

The benefits of breastfeeding are obvious

• According to the journal of the American Medical Association, the woman who breastfeeds her baby for at least a year protects him and herself by 15% from a disease such as diabetes;
• scientists at the American College of Allergy, Asthma and Immunology have proven that breast milk protects the baby from allergies and intestinal infections;
• The WHO claims that switching to hard foods too early, as well as replacing mother’s milk with animals (cow or goat, for example) reduces the baby’s immunity against HIV;
• researchers from King's College London, Duke and Otago Universities, having examined the effects of fatty acids in human milk, found that they contribute to cognitive development in the early stages of human life, i.e. Along with getting milk, your baby increases intelligence;
• according to Lancet magazine, the risk of cancer in women who have been breastfeeding for a long time is much lower and decreases with prolonged breastfeeding. The relative risk of developing breast cancer decreases by 4.3% with every 12 months of feeding, decreasing the proportion by another 7% with each birth.

  Of course, breastfeeding will require a woman some efforts and changes in lifestyle, which in any case will not be the same at birth. And going to work, and the figure, and even the shape of the breast - all these issues can be safely resolved with a competent approach to the problem. You can breastfeed with pleasure, and not with pain, uncertainty and hassle.

Be proud of your status as a nursing mother, because you give your baby the most valuable thing - breast milk. When he ceases to feel the need for him, he will let you know about it. Do not rush to quit feeding, because your baby’s health is above all.

Several times a breast-feeding consultant who worked in the maternity ward visited our ward. On one of these visits, she asked me:

Tell me, as a colleague - why women do not want to breastfeed ?! We walk and explain how useful it is, how their little ones need their milk, how important it is for brain development, vision, and general health - but they don’t want to feed, and that’s all! .. Why can this happen, you can tell me ?!

Then I could not say anything in essence. But after several days spent in the hospital "on a common basis" - I can.

So, why is someone already in the hospital (where they are not distracted by household chores, and you can turn to medical staff for help at any time) might not want to breastfeed? First of all, it should be noted that GV is much better supported in this maternity hospital than in many others. The mere presence of any kind, and a full-time consultant on GV, talks about this. In the maternity hospital, children and children stay together, and mothers after the cesarean give the children away as soon as these mothers are able to come to the nursery and express their desire to pick up the baby. No one objects to sleeping together - both of my neighbors, following me, realizing that they live more calmly, began to put their babies in bed with them, and none of the medical staff said a word about this, which is already a huge plus. The supplementary mixtures were given strictly in time (when one of the neighbors ran for the mixture at the "off-hours", she was deployed), and the special "milk sister" who came with the revision was engaged in dispensing the mixture ("So, did you ask for this mixture? Why? Well? -Let's see if you have milk? There is ... But how does it take breasts? ") That is, it would seem, really - supplementary feeding with mixtures is complicated, on the contrary, good conditions are created for breastfeeding, and yet ... And there are still problems that can really discourage the desire to breastfeed, even if it was originally .

Firstly, very different and contradictory information on GV coming from medical staff. I liked what information was given specifically by neonatologists: from my point of view, everything was good and true there. For example, in one of the neighbors, the baby lost a lot of weight, about 10% of the birth weight, her doctor decided to do without feeding the mixture for another day, to observe the dynamics of weight. On this day, I advised the most frequent feedings (at least every two hours), at the same time, make sure that the baby swallows, and not just sucks the breast, in the absence of sips, first compress the chest, then transfer to another. Well, that is, good, working recommendations. But you see, right there, ten minutes after the doctor, some nurse comes in and, looking with pity on this mother, says:

Why are you taking a steam bath, your milk has not really come yet, give me the mixture, otherwise it will lose weight in your body! Well, there’s no milk yet, so now!

And this mother, all in doubt, is ready to immediately jump up and run for the mixture. To her, a man in a white coat said.

And food is a song! He enters the ward alone, sees a bag of milk on the nightstand, shouts: “Don’t you milk, sprinkle a child! You can only sour milk - kefir, fermented baked milk, yogurt ...” Mom grabs the phone to call her husband, in words “buy me fermented baked milk "someone else from the medical staff comes in and interrupts:" You shouldn’t ferment, fermentation in the tummy will begin, it will yell! Milk is still possible, sour milk - no ... "And my neighbors are completely at a loss; after some thought, this mother decides to drink milk now and then "skip one feeding", give the mixture so that it does not sprinkle ...

That is, there is no unity in information, some say one thing, others say the opposite, as a result, mothers experience complete disorientation regarding breastfeeding. And with the mixture, it’s just everything, I took the bottle and don’t worry about it ...

Secondly, the poor practical skills of the staff who are responsible for supporting the GW. On the one hand, at least four people helped my neighbors put children on their breasts. It seems good, right? But none of them did it right. No one. The full-time GV consultant seemed to know from the signs of proper placement only a wide-open mouth and curled lips; when she saw this, she clicked the “target compliant” lever. And the fact that the child’s head looks down while the child has moved out and the nipple actually chews is nonsense ... I, of course, tried to help my neighbors. But it turned out like in a joke, where after the lover the husband remakes everything in his own way: I explain that here we have such a breast shape, that it is important to support it from below and with your fingers in the mouth like that, and it’s better to wait until the baby’s mouth open wide, half-open mouth good deep attachment will not work. Then one of the doctors comes and commands:

And why are you holding your fingers so strangely, well, take it like this (with “scissors”) and put the nipple in his mouth, but more boldly, don’t expect you to mess around! ..

As a result, both neighbors had painful cracks in the nipples. Thanks specifically to how they were taught to apply in the hospital.

Thirdly, nobody was interested in their feelings. I would even say that by default it was believed that pain when breastfeeding is normal and should be so. Positive changes in their feeding began when I began to focus on feelings.

Now you are leaning on your elbow, is it so convenient for you?

Well ... well, yeah ...

And in ten minutes it will be convenient for you too, what do you think? Does the arm get tired?

Well, yes, she’s tired, well, I’ll tolerate ...

Why do you have to endure? Better immediately go to bed as convenient. Try to lie down yourself, hand here, and baby like that, is it better?

Yes, that’s much better.

Well, that's great, feeding both of you should be relaxation, not stress! Now look, when you hold the breast with “scissors”, the baby pulls it out of its mouth and it begins to chew on the nipple, which makes it painful to feed. Does it hurt when you do that?

Yes, but they showed me that ...

And let's try again, as I showed. Well, how's the feeling?

Now it’s not so painful!

It’s good, the less pain, the better. And try again like this, are there any changes? ..

In time, such a conversation takes about the same amount as a story about the positive effect of breast milk on vision and brain. But the mother, who was shown improper attachment, which is why it hurts her to feed, and everyone pretends that it is necessary, remains in the position of the victim. And she may not know anything about the benefits of milk for her eyesight, but if someone had taken care to make her feeding as comfortable as possible, then it would have been more likely that breastfeeding was just a desire, not a discharge of a painful duty.

And when mothers are told about the benefits for the baby, but it hurts, their discomfort is ignored, and even they are confused with conflicting information about feeding - where does the desire to feed come from? With such care, an inexperienced mother has the impression that GV is painful, dangerous and incomprehensible. A maternal feat that needs to be endured somehow: let it clutch your teeth, let it cry, but you endure all this torment, and you must push it out ...

Somehow it turns out.

So, I honestly and selflessly tried to establish breastfeeding for 3 months. When the child was a month old, small stool delays began, and, due to improperly prescribed therapy in the clinic, we earned dysbiosis and allergic dermatitis, exacerbated lactase deficiency. Yes, yes, I also read in numerous forums that these are non-existent diagnoses ... But those whose children are constantly tormented by colic, regurgitation, allergies, constipation or diarrhea will understand me.

What and what we were not treated for, what drugs were not prescribed. Everything just got worse. I even stopped counting those astronomical amounts that we spent on examinations and treatment ... We drank and drink very good bifidobacteria, but, unfortunately, in our neglected situation, there were only a few of them for treatment. I was on a strict diet (buckwheat, green baked apples and water), but the child continued to sprinkle. I collapsed (literally) from physical exhaustion, but the doctors continued to claim that I was "probably eating something wrong." At the same time, of course, everyone insisted on continuing the GV. Milk, of course, was sorely lacking, the child did not eat enough, stopped gaining weight, cried all the time ... The course of prebiotics slightly corrected the situation, but the baby was growing, and his nutritional needs were increasing. In contrast to the nutritional value of my milk (by this time I had already lost a lot of hair, my skin had deteriorated, my teeth started to hurt and stomped) ...

And then, contrary to all the doctors and public opinion, I began to feed the baby with a mixture. I do not want to talk about miraculous and instant healing, but already on the second day of the absence of breast milk in the baby’s diet, the manifestations of allergies and rumbling in the stomach decreased significantly. After some time, the chair got better, we finally began to grow and develop normally. And you know, I do not regret at all that I could not continue to breastfeed!

And, of course, I can not help but say about the mass attacks of GV fans that have begun. In the clinic, on the playground, mothers, proudly declaring "we are already 2 years old, and we are still eating tit," made terrible eyes when I said that we had already switched to the mixture. They shook their heads, felt sorry for my child, who, by the way, did not cause pity for his healthy appearance at all)))

In the queue for a doctor’s appointment, one well-fed lady in a washed-out tracksuit generally blurted out something like “make money” ... Well, the beloved “she loves herself more than a child,” she listened to regularly.

That is where our people, who do not know the whole essence of the problem, have such a desire to insert their capacious opinion ... Why, if you do not breast-feed, they will surely condemn you, consider you a dysfunctional, almost drunk drug addict ??? I traveled a lot, and in no country in the world (except the United States, perhaps) there is such an attitude to GV. I have two close friends. One lives in Israel, the other in Switzerland. So, both are mummies, one breastfeeding for up to 1.5 months, the other for 2 weeks. And nobody there scolds them, does not point a finger. Another attitude: if you want, breastfeed, do not want, do not need, feed with the mixture. Children are not developed by age, are healthy and everything is fine with them.

By the way, regarding the dependence of immunity from hepatitis B, it has long been proven that these things are in no way interconnected. The child’s immunity and health depends on the environment in which it grows, whether it receives enough nutrition for proper development, whether its parents temper it, etc.

My friend’s wife was breastfeeding until she was 4 years old and was terribly proud of it. My son went to school and is sick 2 weeks a month. Consider translating it into home schooling. It's a shame. And a friend, by the way, divorced this woman. No, of course, not GV caused a divorce. But, as he himself admitted, he was terribly enraged when his already big son somewhere in a park or cafe approached himself, took sisu from his mother and, in front of an amazed audience, washed down a hot dog from her ... The wife turned into a woman forever lactating can with milk. He now lives on alimony with his mother and son in odnushka in the suburbs. The son grows up without a father, does not shine with health. But in front of society I was not ashamed, fed to the last!

Our women are generally characterized by this useless sacrifice. Die yourself, squeeze the chest to the drop, let the milk cause terrible colic and rash in the child, most importantly, feed! Nothing that a baby adds 200 grams per month and does not develop, it's breast milk! Feed always and everywhere, scoring on yourself, husband, work! The main thing is breast milk. Sounds utopian, right? But that's what everyone around is shouting about! And the saddest thing is that putting her health, appearance and relationship with her husband on the altar of the GV, a woman is often left alone with a broken trough. Children get sick no less than the others, grow up the same as everyone, neither smarter nor dumber ... And no one remembers her feat ...

In no case do I urge these reflections to abandon the GV. Just want to appeal to an adequate assessment of the situation. If you are a “milk” mother, your child has enough milk, it does not cause him to have adverse reactions of the body — feed him to health! If there is not enough milk, or, as in our case, milk does not bring the baby health, go to the mixture and do not squeeze the puss! The feeding process should bring joy to both mom and baby. If this does not happen, do not torture yourself or the child. And do not be afraid of judgment - this is your life, and the health of your child.

After all, if you sacrifice yourself, no one will erect a monument to you "who fell from breastfeeding." First of all, a child needs a beautiful and happy mother who has the strength and health to take care of her baby. And not a tormented and eternally sick cash cow!

Health to you and your children!

How to talk with a baby while breastfeeding