You know, after 35, the romantic and sexy in men became different. Different than at 18, I mean. Families packed there with one rose and champagne. Even at 20 "you have beautiful eyes” and “I’ve been waiting for you all my life” functioned wonderfully. Now the courier with lilies is not surprising either. No, it’s magical, of course, but... A huge bunch of greenery from the market will most likely make you smile.

It was easier before. So he’ll say, with one eyebrow furrowed brutally, “I’m tired of being perfect for everyone, I want to be perfect only for you, baby,” and at 18 you’ll melt, he’s gorgeous! I want to be his Decembrist... And now you’ll snort and spit, because he’s an idiot with a clumsy show-off.

Previously, I would have burst into tears of delight if someone came to me under the window on the roof of a car, also with flowers, almost like Richard Gere visiting Julia Roberts.

But when I actually arrived (not Gere, but almost Ben Affleck), the cynical witch in me looked out of the window, yawning, and bawled about the dented roof, the insurance, and the fact that now this rotten brute would collapse, and suddenly there was a car coming towards him, and in the end... “get out of there, idiot, go eat pancakes!”

I used to like it when he didn’t notice. The excitement just kicked in, Pechorin came to mind. And now you don’t notice someone who doesn’t notice. And the one for whom everything is complicated, and the one who disappears without calling, and the one who “can’t understand himself.”

Why don't you need to solve puzzles? Those who are unhappy and looking for themselves, please do not worry. Previously, you wanted someone to admire how you can do everything yourself, no worse than men. And now we need someone who is a man himself, who will decide, bring it, fix the lock, open the jar and kiss your hand.

Previously, perfumes and Teddy bears caused a squeak. Now... No, well, perfume still causes a squeak, so what? But a cool frying pan is cooler than teddy bears, for sure.

Previously, I wanted to take you to a fashionable place, but now I’m terribly attracted by the offer “let’s go and have a delicious meal.” And sexy when she cooks dinner, simple and delicious. Even navy pasta, because I love it.

I used to like the trendy ones, but now the trendy ones are alarming. Especially if in jeans, tights and forelock. Daring. Brr. The ones in pure and cotton are clearer and closer. You want to hug something soft. Cotton is easier to iron.

Instead of the former attractive scum, gentle fathers touch the heart, instead of originals and brutals - those with whom it is fun and simple, instead of perfectly shaved ones - bearded and tattooed ones. Instead of sparkling - ironic.

Diligently and sparklingly, they generally began to tire me very much. But to laugh angrily is priceless. And those who live with their mother no longer seem nice.

Previously, those who say “sex is not the main thing” were considered polite princes, but now they arouse serious suspicion...

Inexplicably, I used to be fascinated by stories about how he got drunk, stole a motorcycle, crashed a car under a Kamaz, and even his head there, because he’s not afraid of speed and is finally dashing, and scars, baby, those are for the brave, and overtaking a Ferrari is a thing honor...

Now I’m sick of such assholes and I want non-drinking athletes who follow traffic rules (without STDs and vp, but with vp, sorry, I couldn’t resist).

It used to be magical if he gave you a ride. And now it just blows your mind if he hands you the keys to something sporty and says: “Do you want to take yourself home?” Or even like this: “Do you want me to ride in an electric car? This is intonationally and environmentally responsible” (quote). Well, a knight, well!!!

Married men after 35 become good friends, because after everything you've gotten yourself into, you already know that they are like sugar at night. Risks heart disease. If they are young and beautiful and on a motorcycle, you just imagine that they are a figment of your imagination. We smile and are friends.

I'm terribly attracted to something. Skill. You sit, drink coffee with a heart surgeon and listen to stories about how he performed open-heart surgery (he didn’t show off at all, I asked myself). And you understand that this is stronger than champagne, and a cool car, and not to notice...

In general, a cool car (not just a car, but “look how cool my car is”), a cool suit (not just a suit, but waaaaaaagucci-hoyucci) and also show-off, and the look “I’m cooler than Abramovich” - somehow they’re immediately frightening With a lot of hassle - it’s just that you can’t go out in sweatpants, you just can’t stand next to him in sneakers, you just can’t fry cutlets. Come on…

Sexy when it’s fun and simple, sexy when you’re smart, when you’re caring, sexy when you don’t get offended, when you’re honest - sooo sexy. Loyalty among aphrodisiacs has also skyrocketed to the top, and with the goal of raising grandchildren (no, why, they’re just around the corner) - then it’s all fire!

But all sorts of little things, like “walking around the house in socks and shorts” - they somehow stopped being so noticeable. Let him walk around, as long as he doesn’t wear a thong (oh, that doesn’t happen these days).

One thing has not changed - it’s still just as romantic and fun to hug on a bench in the park. True, you should come with your own blanket and expensive port wine. And then call a normal taxi, because driving drunk at our age is not at all sexy.

When and why do men experience a midlife crisis? How has the attitude of the stronger sex towards women changed over the years? In order to comprehend the rich inner world of men different ages, ELLE turned to experts from the international service eDarling and the international network “Training Center SEX.RF” for clarification.

Young people, due to youthful maximalism, often go to extremes, especially when it comes to love relationships. This is a time of maturing feelings and the formation of personality, when falling in love covers a man headlong, but due to the lack of experience, it can be difficult for him to cope with such an influx of strong and new feelings.

Women seem to him to be a mysterious and dangerous element, and it is at this age that most love torments occur. Guys pay attention to interesting girls: It is important for them that their partner is a passionate person, open to new things, since they themselves want to broaden their horizons - and preferably with a like-minded woman. For 35% of men, it is important to share hobbies and interests with their beloved. Alas, at this age a man may not be very sensitive, and a woman’s experiences seem to him something incomprehensible. He doesn't attach much importance to her problems.

But there are also advantages in a relationship with a young man: he takes love affection very seriously. He will remember his first stable relationship all his life, he will carry these memories through the years, and after decades those feelings will still seem special to him. At this age, the thirst for great and pure love is so great that it is difficult to forgive betrayal and betrayal. 94% of men will break up with a cheater, and only 22% will succumb to temptation themselves. When it comes to sex, young people are not very inventive, because the act of intimacy itself gives incredible sensations. However, sluggish fidgeting under the blanket is not about them either - in youth there is nothing worse than routine. It is not surprising that 50% of young experimenters would be happy to try a threesome with the participation of their beloved. Be prepared for his proposal to make love in an unexpected place and other erotic fantasies.

A man in his prime is energetic and focused on his career. This does not mean that relationships fade into the background for him - rather, he simply expects something a little different from them. At this time, the feeling of a reliable rear, stability and mutual understanding is especially important, because after exploits at work you really want to return home, where you can rest peacefully. By the age of 35, 41% of men realize that a woman who knows how to cook is a gift from fate. This does not mean that your path will be the kitchen and raising children: an ambitious person will be able to appreciate your successes in work and will be sincerely interested in your personal growth, because marriage for him means looking not at each other, but in one direction. For 35% of men, common plans for the future with their beloved become more important than joint hobbies and even intimate relationships.

A mature man looks closely at his future partner for a long time, but if a woman awakens his interest and proves her readiness for life together, then next to her will be a reliable and caring life partner, capable of turning a blind eye to her shortcomings. At this age, a man is attentive not only to a woman’s appearance (this is no longer enough for him), he evaluates her as a person.

In addition, this age is characterized by a desire to diversify sexual life: oddly enough, the most extreme fantasies do not appear in men at a young age - they come with experience. A fulfilling sex life is an important aspect of a relationship for 57% of men. Mature young men are so open to experimentation in intimate life that you can safely offer your partner any sex toys or S&M attributes - he will readily support such initiatives.

A midlife crisis is not as scary as the prospect of facing it alone: ​​62% of men are willing to be in a loveless relationship just to avoid being alone.

A mature man experiences a new surge of vitality and especially appreciates the novelty of sensations. At this age, he is able to leave a woman the right to remain herself - he will accept your originality and independence. Only 48% of survey participants will not be able to forgive the betrayal of their loved one. If more at a young age men prefer partnership to passion, then a mature man sees in a woman a muse capable of inspiring new achievements. A man over 40 will love you simply because you are who you are; he will be interested in simply communicating with you, getting to know you and enjoying life together. An adult man will be ready to accept your weaknesses and will appreciate your ability not to focus on problems. He loves comfort and is ready to organize a calm, cozy life for a woman, where nothing will interfere with enjoying each other’s company. He will not protect his independence from you, since he no longer needs to prove it to himself and fight his complexes, but in return he will expect wisdom and condescension from you (56%). Maybe sex does not happen so often for men of this age category, but he already puts the interests of his partner in bed above his own.

Ekaterina Lyubimova, leading Russian sex coach:

founder of the international network "Training center SEX.RF"

Men want sex at any age - it’s just how nature designed them. But each period of life leaves its own imprints on their picture of the world, dictating special behavior in relationships and the sexual sphere.

At 25 years old he just wants sex, by and large, with anyone, or rather, whoever agrees and with whom it’s not scary. Intimacy for him is “the measure of all things” and a guarantee of stable relationships. However, the very fact of the relationship also incredibly attracts him. He's like Small child, delights in intimacy with a woman and wants this intimacy in every sense. With all the violence of the flesh, it is young gentlemen who are the most romantic and amorous. And although they have long passed the stage of platonic libido and are fully aware of their organ, it is much easier to charm them than 35-year-olds. After all, they have not yet experienced all the delights feminine character and failures in sex. This “eternal sunshine of the spotless mind” inspires optimism. And it also becomes the reason for his forced sexual diets - both because of modesty and because of short-sightedness in choosing a partner ready for exploits.

At 35 the man still wants sex, but now in his frame of reference everything is more complicated. Having gone through the sexual battles of his youth, he became strong, tough, and learned from them an important principle - to clearly separate sex and relationships. And most importantly, he learned to do this compared to his 25 years, when his heart sank, and an excess of feelings could fail not only in singing serenades. In general, at 35 he realized that you can sleep with a woman and not live together. Or vice versa - he has already become tired of children, family, unfulfilled ambitions and wants to get at least part of his desires, which he kept to himself at 25. At this age, he especially wants a festival of the flesh, women in love, oral, anal, Martian and what any kind of sex, not excluding the obligatory point of the FFM program. But unlike romantic 20-year-olds, he is no longer ready to invest himself in every “act of love,” much less turn it into a relationship. It is 35-year-olds who are the best at lying and masterfully cheating, without a twinge of conscience, going nowhere after sex, promising a fabulous “tomorrow.”

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The ideal woman in the minds of Russian men is not at all suitable for the role of an ideal wife, but for happy family Many people don’t need love or sex at all, sociologists have found.

Research over the past 17 years in the field of family and gender roles demonstrates interesting trends, which were discussed by senior researcher at the Institute of Social Policy of the National Research University Higher School of Economics, Deputy Vice-Rector Yulia Lezhnina at a lecture by the Yegor Gaidar Foundation from the series “Myths of Russian Society.”

According to her, family is still important for Russians, but not as an intrinsic value, but as an element of a life project, as a kind of norm. Having a family is a necessary but not sufficient condition. “You need to have a family, without it it’s uncomfortable, and success in life seems incomplete. Although in general it is not the criterion for success. Family is not an area in which one usually puts effort. Unlike a career,” notes Lezhnina.

The ideal woman in the minds of Russian men is not at all the one you want to marry. Judging by the qualities with which they endow the ideal woman and the perfect wife, that's actually two different people. In the first case, men want to see attractive appearance and sexuality, in the second - thriftiness, fidelity, love for children. As you can see, there are no intersections.

“Some time ago, ideas about ideal woman and about his wife they agreed. Kindness and love for children were important in assessing a woman as such. That is, she was immediately perceived as a potential wife. Now these concepts are being separated,” notes the sociologist.

But women still look at their partner as a future husband, and therefore the difference between the ideal man and the ideal spouse is not so critical. The first one must definitely be strong and healthy, the second one must be able to provide prosperity. But the rest is all for everyone: for some, intelligence is important, for others, it’s important not to smoke or drink.

“But in general, the ideal man to become ideal husband somewhat easier than for an ideal woman - a wife,” notes Lezhnina.

There is an explanation for the fact that men want to see certain women next to them, but choose others as wives. According to the sociologist, love in Russian society is generally not very good. In one of her articles, Lezhnina admits that creating a family only for love has never been the norm of Russian culture. But love has always had an independent value for Russians and has been the subject of dreams.

Back in the early 2000s, only 5% of women aged 17 to 50 said that finding true love was not in their life plans.

“Today, dreams of love, even among young people, are supplanted by hopes for prosperity, health and a fair social order. Only 6% of Russians dream of love. Meeting true love is twelfth out of fourteen of their life priorities, while family ranks fourth on this list,” notes Lezhnina.

As a wish that Russians would make if they caught goldfish, only 18% named happiness in their personal life. Most of them are women.

Not everyone needs good sex for a happy family. Only 44% of Russians admit that they are doing well in this area. At the same time, 46% of married Russians who rate their sex life as bad say that they have a happy family.

Of course, good sex and love for your partner increases psychological comfort and a sense of well-being. But, according to Russians, this is not at all a prerequisite for a happy life. family life. By the way, women complain about poor sex life twice as often as men.

According to Lezhnina, this attitude towards sex is not limited to older people. “Young people in megacities, apparently, have no time for this either: they have no time, they are tired, they have other tasks. They prefer to direct their valuable resource to other activities,” she believes.

The family, paradoxically, can sometimes be perceived by Russians as happy even in the case of bad relations in it, the sociologist notes. Thus, 13% of Russians who said that they bad relationship with a partner, also considered their families happy.

“This suggests that today, when starting a family, Russians are not always guided by the goal of providing themselves with a comfortable system of personal relationships - in any case, they do not put this task at the forefront,” the expert sums up.

Why then do people create families at all? There is no universal answer. For some, family is a comfort zone, where it is convenient to live, pleasant to communicate, and where one can get support. Mostly smart, intellectual young people in large cities strive for this. Some people perceive family as a household. Here wealth comes first, the house is a full cup. Another option: family as a love nest. But this option, as it turns out, is not very popular among the people. And still almost 20% of Russians start a “family for children.”

For most Russians, children still remain part of their life project. 55% would like to become parents. Of these, 10% dream of one child, 30% - of two, 15% - of three or more. Moreover, 75% already have children! A third of our fellow citizens (34%) have one child, another third have two, and 7% have more than two. That is, many families have more children than they would like. Or they just became parents, although they actually didn’t plan to. One way or another, every fifth resident of the country is raising children who are not wanted for him. Moreover, this occurs more often in rural areas than in cities.

The childfree movement and same-sex families are becoming more visible. But not yet to the point where we can talk about any trends.

Anna Semenets

Are you sure that the best things in your life are already behind you? Yes, of course, at the age of 20, every girl thinks that she can move mountains. During this time, we managed to work, take exams, and, of course, have fun until the morning with many friends. At this age, we were not afraid of difficulties, problems and were confident that we had our whole lives ahead of us. But time flies, and no force can stop it. Before you know it, you have already crossed the 35-year mark. Yes, now you have experience, now you know that dreaming about the impossible is just wasting time. The first wrinkles appear on your face, despite the fact that you carefully take care of yourself, trying to “throw off” at least a couple of years. Is the dreaded word “maturity” just around the corner?

It is at the age of 35 that a woman feels the “age limit” especially acutely. You are sure that it is too late to start life from scratch. After all, you are already an adult woman who is no longer allowed to make mistakes, and the frivolity of youth will no longer grace you.

Looking through job advertisements, you often come across the age limit - up to 35 years. That is, it turns out that for those who have already crossed this threshold, the road to prestigious companies is already closed? If before this age you did not have time to start a family, then now there is no point in trying - has the train left long ago? Is carefree youth really left behind, and dullness, dullness, routine awaits ahead?

But no! Each age has its advantages and disadvantages. You just need to skillfully use the first and avoid the second. Thirty-five years is a golden age for a woman. Of course, it’s already too late to think about a modeling career, but now you don’t have girlish complexes, false embarrassments, or doubts. Try to look at your age objectively. Add wisdom and experience to natural data, and you get a formula for success. The main thing is to believe that 35 years is the best period for realizing your plans.

1. Time for professional self-realization

Fate was not kind to this girl from the very beginning. She lost her mother early and ended up in an orphanage, where she was taught not only to pray, but also the basics of tailoring. Having reached adulthood, the young girl got a job in a clothing store. In the evenings she sang for the soul in a small restaurant. Despite the fact that she failed to become a singer, she gained patrons, with the help of which she opened her own fashion hat store. However, she did not stop there, and, having borrowed money, opened her own fashion boutique. At that time she was already over 30 years old. And it was from this moment that the story of the fame of the famous Gabrielle-Coco Chanel began.

Remember that you can change your life for the better at any time and at any age. If you haven't received it yet higher education, or your job does not suit you, now is the time to correct the mistakes of your youth. Psychologists say with confidence that after 35 a woman will experience a second youth. The children are already more or less adults, and you can devote time to yourself. You can finally do what you have dreamed about all your life. Moreover, now you know exactly what you want and where exactly you can open up completely. At the same time, it is worth considering that you will no longer start your ascent from scratch - your experience will go with you, your understanding that success in any business is the result of work and perseverance.

If we talk about studying, many women who are 35 years old are embarrassed to sit at a study desk. Needless to say, this shame is false. You are probably aware that higher education opens up new career paths for you, right? And the circle of contacts is expanding significantly.

The most important thing is to try not to focus your attention on problems. You shouldn’t take all your negative experiences and baggage of mistakes with you into the future. Remember that you have many advantages over your young competitors. These advantages should be discussed in more detail.

So, your ingredients for success:

- responsibility. Usually by this age, many women have already started families, that is, they are responsible for someone’s life. And the management of many companies treats serious, adult women with more confidence than frivolous, talented individuals;

- self-organization. You have already learned to control yourself, your words, actions and emotions. You can take control of any unforeseen situation. You are confident that there are no problems that cannot be solved, and you know how to not only admit, but also correct your mistakes;

- relationships. At your age, you already have a wealth of experience communicating with people. It will be much easier for you to find mutual language with your bosses, with your employees and with your clients. In addition, thirty-year-old women are much less likely to conflict and assert themselves at the expense of others.

2. Great time to love!

About Us early childhood dreamed of becoming a singer. Despite the fact that by the age of 30 the whole world was talking about her, this young woman’s personal life did not work out. She had her first child at... 38 years old. It's all about Madonna.

At 35, you can not only make a career, but also change something in your personal life, and maybe even radically change it in general. Statistics say that by the age of 35, many women break up with their lovers or get divorced. The reason is a new look at the world, rethinking life values. You can't be discouraged. Just tell yourself that 35 is far from 55, and you still have a lot of time to find your soulmate and start a family.

There is no need to regret bitter experiences in your personal life. Today you yourself can make decisions based on your desires and aspirations. The main thing is to be positive. If you want to build a long-term relationship, there is no need to doubt - you will succeed. Moreover, today there are not just many opportunities to get acquainted, but a lot. You just need to go out more often, communicate with friends, go to the cinema, theater, and exhibitions. You can use the Internet. Attend courses, trainings, studios - there you can not only learn to communicate more relaxed, but also find new friends. Or maybe your love.

And don’t be shy about flirting, because in this way you not only tell the man that you liked her, but also once again have the opportunity to be convinced of your attractiveness.

Your advantages:

- realism. You will not idealize even the most impeccable man, you will not create an “idol” for yourself, and therefore you will not be disappointed in the end;

- healthy practicality. You already know the value of ordinary words, even beautiful ones. You have already understood that loving with your ears is “impractical”; it is better to pay attention to your actions;

- sexuality. Sexologists unanimously say that 35 years is the peak of female sensuality. You already know very well what you want to get from your partner, your intimate life. And you know how to distinguish good sex from bad.

3. Find fulfillment in your children!

This lady is a unique combination of bright appearance and sharp mind. However, the journey to the top took too long. Success came into her life when she was already over 30 years old. Having enjoyed fame to the fullest, she decided to think about family and children. However, she had to separate from her husband, a media mogul. But she adopted children and feels absolutely happy. Who is she? Sharon Stone.

35 is a period of not only revaluation of values, but also a lot of opportunities to live for your own pleasure. You no longer need to prove to everyone around you that you are worth something. You have already proven everything. Now you can think about yourself, your beloved.

The only thing that can prevent you from enjoying life at this stage is your prejudices and fears. You are afraid to change the established rhythm of life, you are afraid of complications during " late pregnancy", you are afraid that you will not be able to combine a career and a baby. All these are far-fetched obstacles, fears. Try to ask yourself: what is worse for you - your far-fetched problems or childlessness. And immediately everything will fall into place. And also think about the fact that the appearance having a baby will change not only you, but also your attitude towards life. If you feel that at this stage you have achieved everything that is possible - you have moved up the career ladder, your relationship with your husband has become somewhat ordinary - let new emotions, impressions into your life, think about offspring.

Your advantages:

- family. You can already count on the support of people close to you;

- material base. You have your own apartment, you have achieved good success in your work. And you can totally afford it maternity leave and a nanny. Your baby will not need for anything;

- knowledge of life. Your experience of relationships and communication can only be envied. You will no longer make basic mistakes with your child. And most importantly, you have something to teach your baby.

And always, in any situation, remember that the best is yet to come!

New age period. Youth. It begins at the age of 20, when the period of adolescence ends, the personality stabilizes and continues until the age of 30 - 35.

A person at this age completely finds his place in life and strengthens his position. By this time, a profession has usually already been chosen and an education has been completed.

The most favorable time for self-realization is coming.

At a young age, mastering the profession occurs most fully. The person is full of strength and energy, active, and has an optimistic outlook on life. All prospects are still open.

Communication takes place more fully and productively, and friendships become stronger. And also - this is the time true love. Typically, most people start their own families at this age.

People choose a life partner and strive not just for a romantic relationship, but want stability, warmth, and family relationships.

The love between a man and a woman at this age is the most mature and strong, they seem to complement each other. At the age of 22-30 people best adapt to living together.

It has been noted that after 35 years a person has already formed his own habits and way of life, so it is more difficult for them to get used to living together with another person and, accordingly, it is more difficult for them to start a family.

During the crisis of 35 years, women also experience a change in priorities.

If more early age she was more focused on marriage and then now on the first plan comes out professional activity and career. Or vice versa, if formerly a woman She devoted all her strength to work, but now she is more attracted to her family. Therefore, many business women, having achieved heights in their careers, by the age of 35 begin to think about family and children.

Worrying middle age crisis, a person seeks to strengthen his position in the family and at work. Wants to maintain stability. The support of a loved one is very important during this period. loved one. Spouses should be more tolerant of each other during this difficult period for both. A wise wife can close her eyes to some things.

remember, that a crisis– although this is a difficult period, it is still temporary. And it is important to think carefully before destroying something that has been built over the years. We need to be able to appreciate and respect each other.

Family- this is the greatest value a person has; it can always give comfort in a difficult period. Therefore the crisis mature age It’s easiest to overcome with the support of those closest to you.