Domestic violence is often silent. If a husband hits his wife, she often hides it from strangers. Why? This is embarrassing, uncomfortable. You can't tell your friend about it over a cup of tea. Sometimes the closest relatives do not know what a nightmare a woman is going through day after day, until they accidentally notice bruises and abrasions on her.

Why do some husbands beat their wives?

Family aggression doesn't come out of nowhere. It does not happen that a caring, loving father of a family suddenly changed for no reason, instantly turning into a cruel tyrant capable of raising a hand against the mother of his children.

Aggressiveness, lack of self-control, explosive nature often have psychological foundations. Psychologists talk about the existence of two types of male aggressors:

1. Men are "pit bulls". This type builds up aggression gradually. The scandal begins with abuse and reproaches, grows and ends with beatings. In this case, the husband is psychologically highly dependent on his wife, but he lacks respect for her as a person. It is extremely difficult for a woman in such a relationship: she has to follow her every word, gesture and look. The disgruntled tyrant still finds something to find fault with and provokes another scandal with beatings.
2. Men are "cobras". This type is more difficult and more dangerous than the first, although it is somewhat less common. The use of force occurs unexpectedly, without previous quarrels and verbal clarification of the relationship, outwardly, the man is absolutely calm. He does not feel remorse even after beating his wife.

Why is violence manifested? If the husband often beats his wife, it means that he feels power over her. Low self-esteem, the presence of complexes push a man to demonstrate his superiority over the weak.

Nature has laid in the male character the desire for self-affirmation. Each person chooses ways to increase self-esteem independently: to go up the career ladder, achieve success and recognition in sports, business, or assert himself at the expense of his wife and children, humiliating and beating them. The unrecognized genius aggressively splashes out dissatisfaction with life at home, as if proving that he is worth something.

From the point of view of psychology, male aggression is provoked by the following reasons:

What to do if her husband beats: to divorce or stay and try to rectify the situation, each woman decides for herself. There are those who only need once, a single blow, to end a relationship. Such women love and respect themselves, and they are sure that once crossing the boundaries of what is permissible, the husband will no longer be able to stop. This means that physical violence will be repeated. Other wives live with tyrants, finding excuses and forgiving cruelty, decide to re-educate him, or humbly accept the situation.

The advice of a psychologist will help to break the vicious circle of domestic violence:

Where can you go if your spouse has beaten?

Women are stopped by the fear of the unknown, loneliness. Wives who are financially dependent on their husbands, who have nowhere to go, believe that they are driven into a dead end and do not see a way out, while their husbands continue to scoff, feeling their domination. There is always a way out:

• Seek help from family or close friends. They can find temporary shelter.
• In big cities, you can turn to crisis centers for victims of domestic violence for support. If a critical situation arises, you can find shelter and protection, receive legal and psychological assistance, assistance in finding a job.
• 8-800-100-49-940 - the all-Russian telephone crisis hotline for women, works around the clock.

Procedure for the victim when contacting law enforcement agencies

You need to act clearly in case of beatings, this will help punish the offender according to the law. The procedure is as follows:

What threatens the tyrant?

The legislation presupposes bringing to responsibility for assault, physical and moral harm.

Depending on the circumstances of the beating, after the trial in the criminal case, the perpetrator of the beating may be charged:

• causing deliberate slight harm to health (article 115 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
• infliction of intentional harm to health of moderate severity (Article 112 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
• intentional grievous bodily harm (Article 111 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
• beatings (article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
• torture (article 117 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation);
• threat of murder or infliction of grievous bodily harm (Article 119 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation).

The inadequate spouse will receive an official warning. He will be put on record, tracking his behavior in the future.

The court, on the basis of the materials of the case, taking into account the severity of the damage and trauma inflicted, as well as the moral damage inflicted, will impose a punishment on the aggressor. This could be:

• a monetary fine of up to 40 thousand rubles;
• compulsory community service;
• correctional labor;
• arrest;
• deprivation of liberty.

Remember, changing the behavior of a husband who beats his wife is possible only when the man himself strives for this, when he understands the inadmissibility of his actions and great inner work on his part. In other cases, the only way to maintain health, a strong nervous system, and sometimes even life, is divorce.

In the modern world, aggression is not something out of the ordinary. We are faced with negativity on the street, in transport, in the store. At the same time, the house should remain a reliable shelter, and the person who is nearby should be protection and support. If a loved one raises a hand on you, the question arises, the husband beats his wife, what to do. Let's look at the reasons for this behavior and in the ways of confronting the aggressor.

Causes of Domestic Violence

Psychology names the following reasons for such a sad phenomenon:

1. Drugs and alcohol.
2. As a child, the husband saw how his father beat his mother with impunity, but she was silent. From what he saw, the child concluded that a man can do anything.
3. The aggressor is unlucky in life, despite all his efforts, so he takes out his grief on his wife.
4. The woman does not resist and takes cruelty for granted.
5. The husband believes that dictatorship in the family is the norm and that the best way not to lose power is constant beatings.
6. A man is looking for a weak victim for self-affirmation, since he cannot cope with a strong opponent.
7. Deviation in the mental state of the tyrant.
8. Difficulties that the husband is unable to talk about lead to aggressive behavior.

In order for the husband not to beat his wife, first of all, one should understand that cruelty should not be tolerated in any case. Regular beatings often lead to irreversible disturbances in the victim's psyche, and sometimes end even more badly.

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In this situation, the best solution is to leave and think for some time about the advisability of maintaining such a marriage. Keep in mind that you shouldn't count on fixing the tyrant. Upon your return, a small spark will suffice to generate rage. He will find a way to take revenge on you for deciding to leave.

Psychologists advise to adhere to the following after leaving:

• Seek help from a professional who can help you cope with difficulties.
• Communicate with your husband exclusively in a crowded place and come accompanied by a relative, girlfriend or colleague.
• The process of divorce should be laid on the shoulders of an experienced lawyer.
• Do not forget about the child, because for him the parental breakup is a trauma.
• Do not be ashamed to talk about the reason for the divorce and accept help.
• If you think: “My husband is hitting, what to do,” then the answer is: do not be afraid to file an application with the court asking to punish your spouse for assault.
• Do not take gossip to heart, because it is natural for people to discuss things that do not concern them.

What threatens a home tyrant by law

Beginning in 2017, beatings by a spouse or relative is an administrative and not a criminal offense. When sentencing, the degree of harm done to the victim will be taken into account.

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The law provides for 3 degrees:

1. Light, that is, bruises, abrasions, hematomas and loss of performance no more than 10%.
2. Medium, that is, concussion, fractures. The health disorder is more than 21 days, and the loss of working capacity is 30%.
3. Severe, that is, there is a threat to life (rupture of organs, loss of vision or hearing, fracture of the spine). In this case, to think, the husband beats, what to do, you need to stop and urgently contact the law enforcement agencies, because your life is under threat.

If the beatings are inflicted for the first time, the man faces administrative punishment in the form of:

• Arrest up to 15 days.
• Compulsory work up to 120 hours.
• A fine of up to 30,000 rubles.

When the offense is repeated, the tyrant is liable under criminal law. The aggressor faces:

1. Immediately after the conflict, go to the emergency room.
2. Get a certificate from the emergency room confirming the beating.
3. File a police report with a certificate. It is better to submit an application to the department at the place of the events.

Can a husband improve

The fear of loneliness is understandable and the desire to maintain a relationship is understandable, so many wives are in no hurry to ruin everything. The chance that a man will improve is practically zero. If you still want to try, then you will have to try not only for him, but also for you.

If a husband beats his wife, then ... She deserves it? Is he a scoundrel? This is their family business, will they figure it out? Oddly enough, in our society, which seems to have gotten out of the Domostroi times a long time ago, there is no single view of this problem. Moreover, if you look at it from the outside, with the cold gaze of an outside observer. Here you can talk a lot about the role of a man and a woman in the family, the nuances of relationships, the responsibility that each of the spouses bears for their development. What will it be like to be in the very epicenter of events? Especially as a victim?

Too often, the union of the victim and the tyrant is hidden under the guise of a close-knit family.

Whoever beats his wife, God gives him?

There are very few men who would clearly be aware that, raising their hand to a woman, they are acting, to put it mildly, wrong, are negligible. Every domestic aggressor has a "worthy" excuse for his deed. One has no doubt that the faithful herself brought him in: she did not greet him, as befits, after a hard day's work; at the wrong time stuck her arm in with reproaches; I chatted nicely with a neighbor on the staircase - probably for a reason, rubbish ...

Another regards beatings as the most powerful argument in any dispute. The third one completely sincerely professes the principle “Love your wife like a soul, shake her like a pear”, confident that this is how you should assert your position as the head of the family.

By the way, not only our ancestors shone with such pearls. Proverbs explaining how to build good relations with a spouse with the help of kulaks are full in the languages \u200b\u200bof other peoples. “Beat your wife, even if you don't know why - she knows,” they said in Africa. "Without a club there will be no virtuous wife," they taught in China. In India, a woman's head was compared to the head of a nail in a cart: they say, until you hit it properly, there will be no sense. In good old England, it was advised to beat the spouse as often as they beat the gong. And the Arab proverb says that a man who is not able to slaughter a sheep and beat his wife when he is guilty is not worth living.

Is the need to prove one's male viability and authority through beatings an integral feature of the stronger sex, existing beyond time and boundaries?

Violence against women was the norm in the old days. How now?

Psychology of the aggressor and the reasons for his behavior

Of course, traditions leave their mark on human behavior. But these sayings have been a thing of the past for many decades, why do some continue to diligently follow them, alas, not at all wise orders? Why are there some! According to statistics, in our country, 36,000 women are subjected to violence by their spouse or partner every day - and this is only according to official figures. And the chance of being killed by an accidental scum in the alley for most of the fair sex is much lower than being killed in your own kitchen in a domestic quarrel. What makes the "strong and courageous" regularly raise their hand to their soul mate?

And for some, scandals and beatings are just a love prelude

Under no circumstances can any of the listed reasons be an excuse for a domestic tyrant. Trust me, he is quite capable of controlling his rage. If the aggressor husband does not throw his fists at the picky boss, is afraid to fight back the two-meter bruiser who pushed him out of the queue, obediently listens to the inspector's scolding on the road, but cannot contain his anger alone with a defenseless woman, then he simply does not consider it necessary to do this ... What for? Everything suits him. He feels good, comfortable, pleasant. And he sees no reason to change his line of behavior. Sometimes such men are so into the taste that even the presence of children does not stop them - the habit of giving free rein to their hands turns out to be stronger than the voice of reason.

Children in the line of fire

By the way, about children. Women who are persistently trying to maintain an alliance with a rowdy, “so that the child has a father,” should remember: the youngest, weakest family members often fall under the hot hand of the aggressor dad. There is no guarantee that sooner or later the anger of the divorced parent will not fall on the child, especially if the child is nearby in the midst of a quarrel, rushes to protect the mother, or in any other way shows disobedience. And there is no need to hope that after a crack in the heat, the unfortunate father will be horrified, repent and become more restrained. Do not forget, he has already got used to giving himself full freedom within his four walls and has learned to obtain respect - or what he considers respect - from his wife with the help of physical violence. What will prevent the aggressor from applying the tried and tested method of upbringing on children? Probably not high moral principles. Not to mention the fact that it is basically impossible to raise a mentally balanced, happy child in a house where abuse and sound of blows are constantly heard.

There can be no normal growing up where cruelty and tears reign

Dry statistics. About 50,000 children in our country run away from home every year to escape the beatings of one of their parents. About 2,000 commit suicide every year for the same reason. A frightening number of juvenile murderers end up in the colony precisely for the murder of their fathers - out of self-defense or in an attempt to save their mother from daily beatings. So the legendary patience of the beaten wives, who by hook or by crook keep their family together, is no longer a mistake, but rather a crime. Rather, two: the first is against yourself, and the second is against your child.

How to deal with domestic violence

A woman who once experienced the brunt of the anger of her beloved, be it an official husband or a roommate, has two choices: to stay and try to restore a cracked relationship, or to leave.

Life on a volcano

The first slap in the face rarely comes as a thunderbolt from a clear sky. It does not happen that yesterday a loving and smiling spouse today, as if by magic, turned into a monster with a fierce grin and menacingly raised fists. If you analyze the situation, it always turns out that this was preceded by a long period of nagging, caustic remarks, and then outright insults to the wife. Usually, a lot of time passes before the future tyrant moves from words to deeds, but most women prefer to close their eyes to the growing aggression of their beloved, trying with all their might to find an excuse for him. "He's tired." "He's in trouble." “It’s my own fault, why did I go out of the dry cleaning with this account during football?”

Many wives drive themselves into a corner.

Yes, I'm tired. Yes, from time to time we all get lost. Yes, he needs your care, patience and understanding. But this by no means excuses rudeness and rudeness. It's one thing to quit irritably: "Honey, will you let me watch TV calmly today ?!" and something completely different: - "Go away, cow!" The spouse, humbly enduring moral kicks, will very soon wait for the real ones. Therefore, violence must be fought back at the very beginning. Demand respect for yourself. Even the fact that you are “just” a housewife, and your beloved turns up super-profitable projects at work and gets immensely tired, does not put him on a step above you. The family is a union of equals, and nothing else. He brought his wife into his house, not a stress-relieving robot, right?

First hit

So it did happen. It's too early to grab the pen and scribble a divorce letter, but you need to take the first steps to clarify the situation immediately.

First of all, take it easy. Emotions have not advised anyone anything worthwhile. Take a walk, get some fresh air, drink valerian or something stronger, and only then analyze the situation. Reconstruct what happened in every detail and try to understand what happened? Was your spouse drunk or sober? Was he afraid of what he had done or was he satisfied with the work of his own hands? Did you not provoke him by speaking vilely about the parents of the faithful in the heat of an altercation or by painfully hurting his manhood? Of course, this will not be an excuse: any man always has the opportunity to loudly slam the door, having previously sent his spouse on a long and not entirely decent journey, and give himself time to cool down. But it can serve as a mitigating circumstance.

Think, do you too often unleash a hail of reproaches on the faithful?

After you think it over and calm down, decide what to do next. Do you want to forgive your spouse who stumbled? Farewell. But don't be idle.

Talk to your husband and give him a clear ultimatum: one more blow, a slap in the face, a slap on the head - and you immediately leave him. But keep in mind that the threat will need to be fulfilled. By forgiving the aggressor a second and third time, you will show him that all your conditions are not worth a damn.

Be picky about your behavior. Become even more affectionate and caring, do not spare compliments for your spouse, pamper him with delicious dishes. Perhaps this breakdown is really caused by a difficult period in a man's life, which he can overcome only with your support. However, remember that such problems cannot be solved alone. You should see reciprocal steps from your husband.

If a loved one has a really hot-tempered character and realizes this himself, a family psychologist will come to the rescue. But, again, the decision to go to him should be mutual.

Naturally, you can only forgive someone who has repented himself and is doing his best to make amends to you. If the incident does not seem to your spouse to be something out of the ordinary, you and this person are not on the way.

Our ancestors knew conspiracies for any occasion

Our ancestors, who no less often suffered from husbands who were quick to punish, had their own ways to return peace to the family. For example, it was believed that a woman who managed to call her husband “dear” 40 times on the day of the Annunciation would live in harmony with him for a whole year. If more abrupt measures were required, the beaten wife would buy a new hammer and condemn over it: “Like a heavy hammer does not rise, so that a servant of God such and such a tongue would have a heavy tongue, would not rise and would not swear. Be my words strong and sculpting from now on and finish. Amen." You can also use the ancient conspiracy, but only as an aid. It's not worth relying on the help of higher powers without taking any action to improve the situation.

Run Lola Run

You were gentle and patient, surrounded your husband with warmth, sincerely tried to forget the case when you were so humiliated, and in return you only receive new portions of insults and slaps? Alas, it makes no sense to continue in the same spirit, hoping that one day your loved one will appreciate your sacrifice. How does it make no sense to ... for the eleventh time, smearing blood and tears on your cheeks, to listen to assurances that "this will not happen again." Will repeat. You have connected your life with a person for whom assault is not an isolated egregious case, but an excellent way of relaxation, and he has already got a taste. Think your marriage is really worth covering bruises with foundation every time you go out? Hardly. Does the vague “but the children have a father” compensate for the stresses they will receive while living in the same house with the aggressor? Hardly. In addition, do not forget that such people only become tougher over time, and sometimes even lose all control over themselves, so that in the end you may have to pay for your patience with your life.

Fight for your happiness, do not surrender to the mercy of fate and the aggressor!

If you didn't manage to change the situation, pack up your things and leave without any pity. Once and for all. For years plying between the parental home and the house of the ex-spouse is a futile business. Better to spend time and effort looking for a new half. The one that will be able to keep his fists in his pockets.

A tyrant who has often got a taste does not want to let go of his victim so easily. They use blackmail by children, suicide, threats of physical violence ... What to do?

First of all, realize that you are only responsible for your own life and the lives of your children. An adult capable person is not your concern. Many husbands tell their wives that they will commit suicide if they divorce, but very few are really going to do it. Think for yourself, if you are so dear to him, why won't the faithful make an effort to stop beating you at every opportunity? Why does he demand that you sacrifice your peace and health, while he himself will not make an elementary effort on himself for your sake? Is it because in fact he loves only himself, and he only needs you as a cook, a servant and a slave for whipping in one person?

If you fear that your spouse will force you to stay, give up the idea of \u200b\u200bdemonstratively leaving. Quietly and carefully prepare your escape routes.

Just do not, following the advice and feedback of determined women from social networks, take the pan at the ready and try to restore justice on your own. First, are you sure that in a moment this frying pan will not be pulled out of your hands and will not fall on your own head? Secondly, can you accurately calculate the force of the blow? The article "exceeding the necessary self-defense" is a very unpleasant thing, especially if a former beloved after meeting with a cast-iron object ends up not in intensive care, but in a morgue.

Video: How to live with a man who raises his hand to you?

To beat the weak - a woman, a child, an animal - is the lot of scoundrels and cowards. There are only two situations in which you can easily forgive your beloved for a bruise placed under the eye: it happened by accident (showed your friend the size of the caught pike and did not calculate the swing of the hand) or you are passionately fond of martial arts and regularly ask your spouse to accompany you in training. Everything else is unacceptable and requires immediate response, even the most severe. Do not wait for the situation to get completely out of control, take it up to fix it or leave. There is no third.

Husband beats his wife, endure or leave?

It is difficult to imagine the modern world without aggression. People face such a negative phenomenon almost everywhere. The rudeness of drivers, visitors standing in line at a clinic or a store, etc. is not particularly surprising. Fortunately, such episodes, as a rule, are perceived as nothing more than ordinary situations and are quickly erased from our memory.

Family aggression is viewed in a completely different way. And although women have suffered from beatings from their husbands at all times, enduring, slowly leaving life and not complaining about violence, today, in our enlightened age, such a thing is simply unthinkable. Each family member, being at home, should feel completely safe, enjoying the warmth and comfort of the atmosphere that warms his home. But what if the husband hits his wife? Let's try to understand this issue.

Pathological causes of aggression

Unfortunately, violence in modern families is far from uncommon. Few are surprised by the fact that a man beats a woman, whether she is a legal spouse or just a lover. Moreover, the beatings themselves are carefully hidden by many ladies. This is mainly due to the fear of public opinion.

As a result, a painful environment arises in the family, and the problem is not solved. And not only adults suffer from this. Domestic violence also affects children negatively.

In order for a woman to understand what to do if her husband beats her, one should first of all get an answer to the question of what pushes a man to this, who until recently promised to love and protect his chosen one.

Psychologists clearly distinguish between cases where aggression exists in the family constantly or was only an isolated case. If we consider the first option, then, most likely, the domestic tyrant has serious mental or behavioral disorders. But if the second situation takes place, then it is unlikely that it will be possible to express an unambiguous opinion.

Unfortunately, in modern society, no one teaches girls how they should choose their husbands. Because of this, marriage is sometimes formalized literally with the first comer. And only after a few months of living together, a woman begins to realize what kind of person her husband is.

However, everyone can guess about the likelihood of a problem of domestic violence even before the wedding, drawing attention to the strangeness of the behavior of their betrothed. For example, it is not surprising that a man looks at other women. This is done by many representatives of the strong half of humanity. But at the same time, not everyone will pry into other people's windows or start the day with a glass of alcohol.

Why does the husband beat his wife? The psychology of this phenomenon allows us to identify the following most common reasons:

1. Finding a man in a state of alcoholic intoxication. In this case, the usual restraint of the spouse seems to dissolve under the influence of alcohol. At the same time, previously held back discontent and hidden grievances break out.
2. Chronic alcoholism. Such a state will certainly lead to personality degradation. And this, in turn, completely destroys a person's system of values.
3. Mental illness. In this case, even a psychiatrist is not always able to help.

If at least one of the cases described above occurs, then the woman should seriously consider whether she should stay in the family. Most likely, she needs to run away from her husband as soon as possible, who is simply impossible to help. Often, many women take the path of self-sacrifice. And this is their big mistake. They make every effort to save a loved one, often losing health, and sometimes even life.

If the husband beats, where should I go? Today in many cities there are specialized anti-crisis centers. They are created for victims of domestic violence. This is where a woman can turn for help.

Alcoholism

It is worth dwelling on this reason for family tyranny. After all, alcohol often turns a loving husband into a cruel man who revels in his power. Based on the available statistics, in most families in which the spouse suffers from alcoholism, conflicts, as a rule, end not only in fights, but also in the infliction of rather serious physical injuries. It should be borne in mind that the person who literally does not part with the glass, with the manifestation of aggression, is even capable of murder.

But is it worth it to immediately break off family relations if the husband beats his wife while intoxicated? A similar opinion sounds from TV screens and often appears in print media. However, in this case, psychologists advise paying attention to subsequent events. There are men who, after sobering up, are aware of their actions. They understand all the consequences of such actions and show the complete readiness to get rid of vices. In this situation, the woman by her leaving will only aggravate the condition of her spouse, who, quite possibly, will attempt suicide.

But it also happens that the husband still does not realize his mistake. In this case, the woman is advised to immediately break off the relationship. After all, she was the first to suffer from domestic violence, and in the future, children may also become victims. This behavior of the father will leave a negative imprint on their psyche for the rest of their lives. In addition, psychologists warn that aggression will only increase its strength with each new episode. And this, sooner or later, can lead to the most tragic consequences.

Jealousy

Why does the husband beat his wife? Sometimes the reason for this is banal jealousy. In such cases, the beatings are intermittent. Sometimes a woman herself provokes a man to such a manifestation of aggression. This happens if she herself gives him a reason for jealousy.

A well-known proverb says: "He beats, then he loves." Is it so? If a husband beats his wife, the psychology of such a phenomenon does not at all indicate passionate love. Such manifestations of aggression testify only to the mental pain that the spouse is unable to cope with himself.

Somewhere in a human way, a domestic tyrant can be understood. To do this, the victim of violence only needs to remember what she felt at the moment when she was jealous of her husband for a random stranger or a friend. Only after that will she understand his behavior. However, if the situation repeats itself over and over again, and there were no real grounds for jealousy, then the woman must decide whether she should keep the family, or it is better to leave her husband.

For those who want to maintain a relationship, psychologists recommend completely revising the style of communication with a spouse. But if there are doubts about the need for this, then it is worth thinking carefully about whether it is worth living with a person you do not love?

A real man?

According to psychologists, women who have fought for their equality for a long time have achieved complete victory. In modern society, men have found themselves deprived of the opportunity to occupy leading positions, for which they, in fact, were born. And for some of them, physical aggression is almost the only way to prove their solvency and power over their other half.

This is hardly an excuse when considering the question: "Why does the husband beat his wife?" After all, a reasonable person will not assert himself by applying force to a weak partner. He, most likely, will look for a job to his liking and create an environment in the family in which no one would even think of defending his own superiority. If at the same time the lady will do everything to help her chosen one, then it will be absolutely wonderful.

There is another reason why a husband beats his wife. Psychology considers it in connection with an attempt at humiliating or rude control by the spouse. Sometimes ladies behave as if men are obliged to constantly follow their mood and fulfill all their whims. And sometimes a woman openly, and in a vulgar form, demonstrates her superiority. Can she then say: “My husband does not love me”? No. After all, many men simply cannot stand such behavior.

Fortunately, in such a situation, not every representative of the strong half of humanity decides to assault. But a woman should understand that her constant dissatisfaction with her husband will certainly become the main cause of conflicts in the family. And it is likely that the fact that the spouse raised his hand to his chosen one testifies to his despair. A normal man is unlikely to be able to live with someone because of whom he is not able to fully control his emotions. In this case, the woman will need to reconsider her behavior.

Is it your fault?

As you can see, to answer the question: "Why does the husband beat his wife?" psychologists definitely cannot. Is it possible that the lady herself is the cause of domestic violence? Yes. This happens, and quite often. This is primarily due to the fact that the woman takes the position of the victim. She believes that she is not good for anything, which is why she can be treated quite rudely. What to do in such a situation? Psychologists recommend that a woman immediately start working on gaining self-confidence. Otherwise, aggression will arise in any of her chosen ones.

A man beats a woman in those cases when she behaves inappropriately. With his aggression, the husband tries to revive her, finding no other way to do it.

Sometimes a husband beats his wife for deliberately causing her mental pain, slander, rudeness and insults. What should the ladies do in this case? First of all, to think about whether there is something in their behavior that exposes them under attack? Indeed, sometimes it becomes enough for family well-being to make the relationship more sincere and better. And not always in such a situation, one can unequivocally say: "My husband does not love me."

Relationship between parents

If a woman complains: “My husband is mocking me,” she should also consider the psychological background of her behavior. There is an opinion that girls always try to recreate in their family the model of relationships that existed in the parental home. However, this is not at all the case. According to the results of the survey, the majority of victims of domestic violence in childhood did not have enough maternal love. The chosen ones of women who grew up in such conditions are most often men who have faced similar life difficulties. Because of this similarity, a strong emotional bond is established between partners. The girl believes that the chosen one will certainly understand all her emotions, experiences and feelings. But the reality turns out to be not so rosy at all. Such a connection only means that the tyrant has chosen an ideal victim for himself.

Experts believe that in such a relationship between a husband and wife there is such a strong psychological bond that it becomes impossible to break it. During periods of calm, violent passion and emotional attachment flares up between them. At this time, the lovers stop paying attention to the whole world around them and seem to dissolve in each other. With a long-term marriage, this bond becomes even stronger. It is becoming more and more difficult for a woman to find a way out of this situation. But the longer the marriage lasts, the more pronounced the violence caused by "love". It is the emotional bond that exists between the spouses that makes the victim believe in all the repeated promises that the beatings will be a thing of the past.

This behavior model is considered one of the signs of the "Stockholm syndrome" manifestation. The wife is afraid of her husband, but at the same time constantly finds excuses for his horrific behavior, going through humiliation and beatings.

Why do the representatives of the weaker half of humanity forgive causing physical harm to their health? This fact is explained by the manifestation of emotional dependence. In such families, as a rule, the man forbids his wife to work. This leads to the fact that her social circle is significantly reduced, and she is deprived of the material foundation for leading an independent life in the event of a divorce. If the spouse tries to leave the family, then this threatens her with new beatings. After all, a man is also psychologically dependent on his chosen one.

Tyranny tendency

What are the personality traits of a man who is capable of showing aggression? The desire to dominate is characteristic of:

1. Epileptoids. This personality type is characterized by a tendency to get annoyed with all sorts of little things. Such people are accustomed to order, pedantic, stingy and rancorous. It’s quite easy to piss them off. For this, any oversight on the part of the chosen one is enough. Epileptoids simply love to find fault with various manifestations of feelings, emotions, as well as the actions of a woman. As their spouse, they choose those ladies who have similar personality traits or hold a high social status. Such men see in the chosen one an equal person. That is why the respect of the spouse of the ladies should be earned. Other women are unlikely to be able to live with a man who resolves disputes with fists.
2. Paranoid personality. These are embittered and suspicious people prone to groundless jealousy. A woman who marries such a person should be prepared for constant complaints and reproaches. Psychologists note that at the initial stage of the relationship, they are not at all humiliated by their husband. On the contrary, he creates the image of a noble and courteous person. However, later this person shows his sadistic inclinations, experiencing real pleasure from violence. Psychologists warn that such men first cause pain, and then apologize for a very long time for their actions. Moreover, tearful pleas pronounced on their knees bring them as much pleasure as the subsequent pouring out of the accumulated aggression on the spouse. If a woman is not ready to accept such rules of the game, then the consequences of such a union will be quite heavy for her.

What other signs of a tyrant husband can be called, based on the advice of a psychologist? The spouse's propensity for aggression can be caused by the following factors:

• existing traumatic brain injury;
• a tough approach to the educational process;
• scandals of parents, which often ended in beatings;
• low academic performance while at school;
• a problem with discipline in childhood, as well as the manifestation of aggression against living beings;
• lack of empathy for the people around.

What advice can psychologists give? The signs of a tyrant husband listed above, in their opinion, are not always a prerequisite for the emergence of violence. If the spouse has a strong will, then he will carefully control his behavior, emotions and feelings. However, with the long-term influence of psycho-emotional stress and stress factors, the birth of a monster is quite possible. Hence the important advice: try to maintain a favorable atmosphere in the family if this person is dear to you. As practice shows, both partners are most often to blame for any conflicts. A woman often, without realizing it, acts as a provocateur.

Experts also distinguish several types of men that contribute to the appearance of a victim state in a woman. Let's consider them in more detail.

Depreciating

Such men try by any means to level the achievements of women. Sometimes this is not even done directly. This is expressed, for example, in ugly statements about his chosen one in a circle of friends, in ignoring and devaluing her actions. The husband humiliates his wife, while rising in his own eyes. Psychologists explain this behavior by the fact that in their hearts such spouses remain insecure boys, afraid that the woman will leave them.

If such a man begins to criticize his lady of the heart, saying that the dinner is too hot or the children are not brought up as needed, and she begins to apologize to him, then the situation will certainly worsen later. After all, a woman begins to play the role of a victim. How should she do this? Try not to react to his comments. Indeed, otherwise, the husband will mock his wife even more.

Destructive sadist

At the beginning of a family relationship, they are wonderful spouses. However, some time passes, and the wife begins to complain about the fact that her husband punches in the face. After that, he literally begins to crawl on his knees and ask for forgiveness. And after a short period of time, he again raises his hand to his spouse, and his actions are increasing. Such a sadist does not seek to end the relationship. He always acts according to one scenario. At first he beats, then heals (gives flowers or expensive gifts), and then mocks with even greater force. Often women do not leave such men, believing that everything can still be fixed. But in this they are cruelly mistaken.

Decaying

And such a man must be saved himself. The destructive type includes drug addicts and alcoholics, workaholics and people who are addicted to games. They are not recognized in society and are hopeless in all respects.

There are many options for solving problems that women choose. For example, they begin to degrade together with a man, grabbing a glass or a cigarette. And the chosen one begins to pull along. A woman can be strong by investing money, time and love in her spouse. But more often than not, infantile men leave for another after a certain period. The woman remains at a broken trough. Her soul is devastated, and her health is undermined, or even completely lost.

Spouses are often involved in criminal beatings. Domestic violence has always remained one of the most widespread types of crimes for causing harm to human health.

Since 2017, the article on battery has been partially decriminalized. Isolated episodes of domestic violence have been decriminalized.

Beatings inflicted by relatives or spouses are no longer a criminal offense. They are regulated by the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation. However, for the correct qualification of what happened, all the circumstances of the crime are taken into account when the husband beat his wife.

What threatens him in this case? How should a wife act if her husband raises his hand to her?

Not every beating by a husband of his wife will qualify under the heading "Beatings". For qualification, the circumstances of the deed and, above all, the degree of harm caused are taken into account.

After all, you can beat your wife in different ways. Sometimes the beating ends with the death of the spouse. In this case, there can be no question of beatings.

In the current legislation, there are three degrees of harm to health:

The severity of the harm caused by the conclusion of the forensic medical examination is determined.

It will depend on the degree of severity under which article your husband will be judged. The main thing in this case is to fix the beatings in a medical institution on time and as quickly as possible.

In addition, the most important factor, in addition to the degree of damage, for the correct qualification is the frequency of such crimes committed by the tyrant husband.

The first attempt at committing beatings is classified as an administrative offense, and a repeat offense is a criminal offense.

Punishment under the new law for beatings under Art. 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation is possible only when several attempts are made to beat the wife.

The first episode of the beatings is decriminalized. This is considered an administrative offense.

What will happen to the husband if the wife removed the beatings depends on what will be indicated in the medical report. This document is the main guideline for initiating a criminal case and sentencing.

In 2017, Art. 1, which deals with cases of family beatings.

Consideration of administrative cases under Art. 6.1.1 of the Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation deals with the magistrates' court.

Cases are initiated by the police, after which the material goes to court. Both parties are required to participate in the hearing.

As punishment, a tyrant husband may face:

• Compulsory work up to 120 hours;
• Arrest up to 15 days;
• The fine is from 5 to 30 thousand rubles.

The fine is imposed in favor of the state, that is, in fact, the spouse will receive nothing... To compensate for the harm caused to her, she will have to go to court in civil procedure.

The guilty person is obliged to submit to the court a receipt confirming the payment of the fine, otherwise new administrative material will be initiated for non-payment of the sanction.

As a rule, the courts under this article are limited to a fine of 5 thousand rubles.

In theory, the spouses have the right to be reconciled in court, then no punishment will be imposed. In practice, some of the judges do not conciliate the parties under this article.

In addition, it is not uncommon for the courts to receive counter materials of administrative offenses, when each of the parties is damaged during the conflict.

If the guilty person has previously been subjected to administrative arrest for beatings, he will face criminal liability for a new episode.

For his actions to be qualified as beatings, it is necessary that the harm caused by him does not correspond to the light degree of damage to the victim's health.

According to Art. 116.1 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, the culprit will face the following punishment:

Art. 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation can be applied only when hooligan motives or hatred on racial, political, national or religious grounds are traced in the actions and motives of the husband.

That is, if the husband hits his wife for not agreeing with his political and religious views, Article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation will come into play.

What other article for beating a wife by a husband in Russia is provided as an alternative, except for those that have already been considered?

So, depending on the husband's motives, the degree of damage caused and the frequency of episodic episodes, other articles of the Code may also apply.

In particular, these include:

In addition, the husband can do harm in a state of passion, in the same state he can kill his wife.... In this case, the responsibility will be more serious.

If the wife is beaten to the husband, one cannot hesitate and forgive. One hit yesterday in a bad mood, today can turn into a fatal one.

First you need to decide where to go in such a situation. There are many instances in the country, but one should start with the lowest and more accessible.

The procedure for the victim should be as follows:

• Immediately after a family conflict, you should contact the emergency room;
• There, go through the inspection and receive the original of the certificate certified by the seal;
• With this certificate, you must go to the police station to write and submit an application.

You have the right to apply by law to any police station, but it is better to file an appeal at the place of the incident.

The application is required to be written in two copies in order to control the time frame for its consideration by law enforcement agencies.

On the second copy, the police officer must put a mark of acceptance. In addition, you are required to issue a notification coupon with information about the receipt of a response to consider the application.

The application should be made according to the following rules:

When the wife wrote a statement, the police are obliged to check the circumstances of the case set out in it.... The police can either initiate criminal proceedings or administrative material, or refuse to initiate proceedings. In the latter case, the husband will receive a warning and put him on record.

If the refusal of the police to initiate a case seems to you unreasonable, you can contact the prosecutor's office. There they will conduct an investigation and initiate a case. In addition, the prosecutor's office can punish a negligent police officer.

For 2020 under Art. 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, the injured party can independently apply to the court with a statement to initiate a criminal case as a private prosecution.

What to do from a legal point of view when a husband hit his wife? It is required to prove your legal position in court.

An important proof is a certificate of the removed beatings... But when the wife calls the police at the time of the conflict, she has no opportunity to go to the hospital on her own and get a certificate.

At the time of the conflict, when the police arrive, you should ask the employees to call an ambulance to fix the beatings.

Of course, if the husband beat his wife half to death, doctors will not have questions about the nature of the injuries. But when minor abrasions and bruises are inflicted on the wife, a delay in going to a medical institution for 3-4 days may be grounds for refusing to initiate a case.

In addition to a certificate in court, the testimony of witnesses will play more role as evidence.... If anyone has seen or heard your conflict, these witnesses are required to be declared in court.

If possible, immediately after the incident, take a photo of yourself with your phone so that you can see the damage. If the blows were inflicted with any object, it is better to remove it immediately so that the husband does not have the opportunity to destroy it.

If you really think that you are in danger, you can show self-defense. The main thing in this case is not to exceed its limits, otherwise you yourself will be the defendant in the criminal case, and not your husband.

Family tyranny must be punished to the fullest extent of the law... The decriminalization of the article of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation does not mean that husbands now have the right to beat their wives and not be held responsible for this.

The Criminal Code of the Russian Federation will forgive them only for a single episode of beatings. For a second similar offense, the attacker will face a more severe punishment.

You do not need to endure torture and beatings, you need to defend your rights and not put your children at risk.