Male infidelity is a common occurrence, due to which a huge number of married couples break up. Women often do not find the strength to forgive a repentant husband. However, there are cases when the wife, after long apologies and promises that "this will not happen again", is ready to close her eyes to what happened, to believe her husband again and continue to live "normal life" with him. But how in such a situation can you start trusting your husband again after infidelity?

Before trying again to recreate family happiness with your husband, you need to honestly answer yourself the question, can you sincerely forgive a person and live with him as before, without blaming, without reproaching, without expecting another betrayal? If the answer is something other than a confident “yes, of course,” then you shouldn't waste your time and your husband's time. It is not easy to truly forgive cheating, but it is necessary to rebuild a strong family.

Forgiveness is difficult, but only the first step. Then comes the return of trust - hard inner work on oneself. Here are some psychologist's tips on how to forget your husband's betrayal and trust him again:

1. Don't force yourself to forgive. After cheating, you should calm down and recover. How can you forget your husband's betrayal? You do not need to be silent and sob softly into your pillow. This behavior can lead to psychological trauma, but you need it? Pay attention to yourself, close people (communication has not harmed anyone yet), in general - let go of the problem, at least for a while. When fear and anger go away, you can think about how to be with your husband further.
2. Give yourself a mental attitude of trust. If you manage to forgive a man, an equally difficult question arises: how to believe your husband again after his betrayal? After all, if he cheated once, he can cheat again. In this case, you should give yourself the psychological direction to believe. Even if it seems that now you are deceiving yourself, say mentally: "I trust him again, I am not afraid to be deceived again." Thoughts are material, right? This, of course, will not solve the problem directly, but it will help speed up the process.
3. Work on what led to the cheating. To change something, you need to start with yourself. Even if it seems to you that your fault for treason is not, think and take a closer look at yourself. Think about what prompted your husband to cheat, and fix it. Are you often not at home? Decide whether you want to realize yourself more at work or find real family happiness? Give the man what he lacked. Then he will simply have no need to waste material, emotional and physical resources on another woman. You will be protected from repeated betrayal.
   

   Important!No need to blame yourself for cheating on your husband! You may not be perfect, but no one deserves betrayal. His act is disgusting, and you are the victim here. We are only saying that you should take a closer look at yourself, but in no case reproach or reproach yourself.

4. Eliminate any oversights. Agree with your husband that now you have the right to view his SMS messages on your mobile phone, answer calls, or look into the diary where all his meetings are recorded. He should not be surprised at this condition, because your shaken trust is expected. Over time, when on the phone you will not find anything except messages from your mother, and only work meetings will be recorded in the diary,your distrust will come to naught, and the question "How to trust your husband again after his betrayal" will no longer bother you.
   

   Important! Remember that everyone needs personal space. Don't turn into a real spy. Otherwise, the husband, who has decided to change, sooner or later will not withstand the onslaught. Indicate that the checks are not for long, only until you feel calmer. Over time, the desire to spy will really disappear due to uselessness.

5. Chat with your husband. Communication implies trust. Share your emotions, feelings and experiences with your man. Lay out everything that lies on your soul. And demand the same in return. If you know not only what a man is doing, but also what he thinks, it will be easier for you to start trusting him again, because he will be like an open book for you.
6. Observe your husband's behavior carefully. In the process of returning trust, a lot depends on him. He must want his wife to trust him again and take certain actions. First, he must be patient with all your whims, tantrums, insults, to which, by the way, you have the right. Secondly, it must be open. Your husband can easily provide you with all the passwords and invoice receipts, because he understands that you are going through a very difficult internal struggle. And, thirdly, he will show you signs of attention, give gifts, shower with compliments. So he will try to make amends and give you joyful emotions.

Important! If a man does not undertake any of the above, it means that he himself is not very eager to be forgiven and does not fully admit his guilt. We need to think about whether it was worth forgiving him at all

If you cannot regain confidence when you cheat on your husband on your own, advice from a professional psychologist will help. Family life is not an easy thing, and the help of a specialist can be very helpful, especially in such a difficult situation. Consult a psychologist, if possible, attend a session with your husband. The advice of a competent specialist will not hurt you.

How to behave if your husband has changed: psychological aspects

Having discovered the betrayal of her husband, women often do not know how to behave. Someone perceives the situation aggressively and throws the offender's things from the balcony, someone silently sobs into the pillow. How should you behave if your husband has cheated?

1. Do not trust gossips. Often you can find out that your husband has cheated on you from friends or colleagues. You cannot take their words at face value - there are too many envious people and gossips in the world. Someone may sincerely want to destroy your happy marriage, someone may be in love with your man - but you never know the reason. Until you get reliable facts, do not rush to accuse your husband of betrayal. The accusation may be a lie, but you will provoke a conflict within the family, and the gossip will get what he wanted.
2. Don't be silent. If you still confirmed your husband's infidelity with facts, do not be silent. Often, wives, having learned about the betrayal, keep silent about it in fear that their beloved will leave. You don't need to do this. According to statistics, if after six months a man has not left the family for the sake of a mistress, less than 10% of cheaters decide to do so after this period. The "stronger" sex is afraid of change. Therefore, it is pointless to be silent, it would be better to show that you know everything, only to do it correctly.
3. Discuss the problem calmly. Arrange scandals and tantrums for her husband is definitely not worth it. It will only convince him that he has changed simply because he wants to be happy. After all, his mistress is a calm, balanced woman. When you've discovered your husband's affair, talk to him calmly. Just say that you know everything (it is advisable to present the facts so that he does not argue with you) and that now you must decide how to proceed.
4. Don't be like an unfaithful husband. Cheating for cheating is just an outburst of emotions that leads to even more problems. Firstly, such a betrayal is just a desire to return offended pride, to prove to yourself that you are still attractive and sexy. Only the triumph from this will be short-lived. Secondly, revenge against her husband in this way will not work either. If his betrayal came from a sudden feeling, your actions will not affect him in any way. If he just stumbled, you ruin all possible chances to restore the family.
5. Be attentive to your health. A woman's body can hardly endure emotionally difficult situations. Psychological instability and stress directly affect overall physical condition. It is very important to pay attention to health during such a period. Otherwise, mild ailments can lead to serious consequences.
6. Forgive only if you deserve it. If you immediately forgive the cheater, he will decide that he can cheat you again, and get off with minor losses. Do you want to relive this pain again? May he deserve forgiveness by his actions. Know your worth.

Natali.

My name is Natalya, I'm 41 years old, married 24 years old. I'll start with the fact that once again my husband
I decided to get myself a mistress. We have already gone through this and more than once four years ago he even left me for another woman, but after living with her for a month he returned to me how much effort and nerves it cost me to forget and forgive everything, only I probably know this. And only everything seems to be working out, we live as they say in perfect harmony and on you again everything again and again. He got a new job and after a while I find out that he is in correspondence with a girl, he claims that this is just a correspondence, but I know that he cannot just have a correspondence with this and it all starts, naturally we started scandals about this ... In total, I still turned out to be hysterical and I can't pretend that everything is fine with us, I just want to live with a person and just trust him and not suspect him of something. And how to believe a person who betrays you all the time ???

Natalia, hello!
I would like to support you by the fact that your man loves you, if he comes back to you all the time. You are important to him.
But he also loves himself and therefore satisfies his needs through communication with women. Probably, this is not your flaw, but his self-affirmation. Apparently, he cannot deny this. For some reason, you need to watch his childhood and relationship with his mother.

And how to believe a person who betrays you all the time ???

Yes, you can't believe him in any way. Until, at least, for a long time he will not be able to prove the opposite with his loyalty.

Natali.

4 years they lived quietly, only began to believe that the person had changed and he started again

Natalya, one day you should talk to him in a calm and confidential tone about your feelings about his infidelity, tell about all your emotions, feelings and prejudices without blaming HIM. Look at his reaction. Try to determine if you got through.
Perhaps he will take something out of your suffering for himself, perhaps not.

Natali.

Already spoke like a person is not given to understand this, he has never experienced this

not given to understand

He understands on the analytical level, but it is another matter to emotionally understand and accept the rejection of other women, which is difficult. It is necessary to analyze his family history for this.
And you, or accept him as he is and endure all the advantages that would allow you to keep the relationship
OR if this is not possible, end the relationship and divorce. Right now, reading the last sentence, something must click in you, or you must dislike something in my words, or some other emotion. Feel it - this will be the first path towards your decision.
Because we will not be able to change a man in this format.

Natali.

As I understand it, I have two ways to accept him as he is, and the other way is divorce

Natali.

If I stay with him, can you give advice on how to sharply not react to this on his betrayal

Trust in a husband after his betrayal: are there any guarantees against relapse? In my psychologist's office, the question sounds every day: “Do you think, after my husband’s betrayal and reconciliation with him, can be sure that we have really saved the family forever? Is there any guarantee that my husband understood everything, made the right conclusions for himself and will never again hurt me by cheating or leaving the family? "

As an experienced and honest professional, I frustrate women by telling them that, unfortunately, there is no one hundred percent guarantee against repeated cheating. I will say more: in my practice, hundreds of times it happened that the same women committed adultery, who, having gone through the betrayal of their husband and returning him to the family according to my methods, who took oaths of eternal fidelity from him, after months or years themselves came across on their own treason. And their own shocked husbands came to me for consultation. And many times it happened that even in the process of reconciliation of a couple, where there was a betrayal of her husband, and his wife angrily branded him "doggy and imperviousness", it suddenly became clear that she herself has a lover, and her own connection arose even earlier than the connection husband.

Thus, without firm guarantees against female infidelity, it is difficult for me to promise someone protection from repeated male infidelity. Moreover, given the fact that in the brain of sexually active men, in principle, there are no protective devices against female sexual manipulation. Nature simply did not foresee them. Because if men had the gift to calmly observe how interesting women give them sexual appeals, then humanity would have died out long ago.

Nevertheless, without at least some hopes for a brighter future, a person cannot live, will not have the motivation to keep a family, and will not be able to communicate correctly. So what can we advise those women who, having saved their family after infidelity, and for the sake of this somewhere, even overstepping their principles, still strive to understand: “Is there any hope of excluding recurrences of infidelity on the part of the husband, and if there is, then what exactly does this need to be done in the family? Can you trust that unfaithful husband who seems to have declared that he wants to keep the family? How long can its correctness be enough? "

I answer as clearly as the question was clearly formulated. Moreover, the scheme in this case is simple. To paraphrase the well-known saying that “everything is ingenious is simple!” I will put it this way:

All ingenious is simple!

Everything genital is as easy as shelling pears! "

You will see for yourself now. According to my professional observations, the formula for trusting a man is as follows:

“The presence of past betrayals + The duration of the revealed love affair + The amount of financial investment of the husband in his mistress + The fullness of remorse and parting with his mistress + the absence of harmful addictions in the man + the correctness of his wife’s behavior after reconciliation with her husband + the presence of large joint goals in the family + transparency of the spouses life + completeness mutual control of spouses.

Now I will decipher this formula.

- "The presence of past betrayals." If your husband is not the first time caught in adultery, it is quite obvious that he will have much less faith than if it were the first and only episode in the history of your marriage. If your husband systematically gives you reasons for jealousy, you don't need to harbor any special illusions: if everything is sad according to the following criteria, you can forget about the guarantees of a quiet family life.

- "The duration of the revealed love affair." If the "left" connection of your husband was of a one-time nature (such as intimacy on a business trip or drunk at a corporate party or at the dacha of friends) or lasted only a few months, then there is a great hope that these relations themselves will be severed forever, and your husband himself will not managed to get used to the regular conduct of a "double" life. If the betrayal has lasted for a year, or even several years, then everything is much worse. First, from the point of view of a family psychologist

Cheating for many years is essentially a second family,

that is, in fact - a secret civil marriage.

Accordingly, it is very difficult to break off such relations, which are filled not only with sex, but also with travel, communication, plans, mutual care and the same mutual obligations. And no matter how the caught red-handed husband himself declares his readiness to “forget everything in the interests of preserving a legitimate family,” I personally always warn wives that the possibility of restoring this connection may not persist for several years. That is, until the given woman-lover marries herself and / or gives birth to another man. Thus, she will lose her feminine motive for reestablishing connection with your husband. But, if she cannot get married or this marriage turns out to be unsuccessful for her, clouds may again gather over your family. That is why, in especially difficult cases (with a high threat of relapse), I directly advise wives to find an opportunity to move with the husband returned to the family to other cities, regions or even countries. Or develop schemes for how profitable to marry a former mistress. Or use other techniques.

Secondly, the principles of the conditioned reflex of Pavlov's dog have not yet been canceled. A man who, over the years, is accustomed to a secret life and receiving sexual pleasures in such a tickling format, will most likely strive to restore such a familiar and comfortable lifestyle for his pride, simply changing his left-handed girlfriends, mercilessly surrendering to his wife and changing the “ "To someone else. Once launched, a cyclical carousel usually stops after 45-50 years, when a man's libido gradually begins to decrease, and his brain is finally more mature.

Increasing the family decency of a man

usually coincides with a decrease in its potency.

Therefore, when it is clearly known that the husband's love affair on the side lasted three to five years, there are usually no easy victories. Except for those cases when on the wife's side, objectively, the mistress herself turns out to be, whose patience has run out and who herself harshly dismissed the lover who was rushing between the women in panic, who was unable to immediately choose one of them. If a long-term mistress in every possible way emphasizes her readiness to wait even until retirement (especially, nowadays noticeably delayed) and accept a man who has returned to the family anytime, it is very difficult to talk about a big credit of trust in such a husband. It needs an eye and an eye.

- "The amount of financial investment of a husband in his mistress." If, having learned about her husband's betrayal, the wife also revealed the notorious "elements of a sweet life" his significant costs for this connection (expensive gifts, foreign travel, payment for expensive plastic surgeries and elite fitness, donated cars and assistance in purchasing housing, etc.), one must soberly understand: the man himself will be very sorry to lose his investment and his It will be psychologically very difficult for a mistress to part with such a generous sponsor who made life noticeably easier and more prosperous.

Generous men do not lie on the road.

They lie in the beds of those women in whom they invest.

On the road, there are former generous men who have already been milked.

Therefore, knowing that the husband generously invested in his mistress, the wife should be prepared for a very long and careful observation of his behavior after returning to the family. Because:

A woman is able to refuse to communicate with a generous man

only after meeting either an even more generous man, or the same,

but who is either not married or leaves his wife more quickly.

- "The fullness of repentance and parting with his mistress." If, after revealing his wife's infidelity, the man quickly made a fundamental decision, quickly informed his mistress about the final breakdown of the connection, he also quickly radically restructured his life schedule in such a way as to completely exclude both personal contacts with her and telephone communication for any reason, then for a wife this is good news. Such men, most often, in fact, in the future make the correct family conclusions and remain faithful to their wife. If a man for weeks and months, like a mantra, repeated that he was "confused" and rushed between women, if he continued to work together with his mistress or began to creatively find any "business" and reasons for communicating with her (such as help, counseling, etc.) if he never told his wife the details of the relationship and did not reveal the identity of his mistress, many such men are a "time bomb" that very often explodes again and again. And the battle of the wife for the husband flares up again and again, and every battle that seems to the wife to be “general” and “brilliant”, again turns out (based on the aphorism of this article), alas, again to be regular and genital. So, consider:

The fullness of future trust depends on the fullness of past repentance.

- "The man has no harmful addictions." Everything is simple here. Alcoholics, drug addicts and gambling addicts, i.e. men who are unable to properly control their emotions and actions, themselves cannot guarantee that their marital position is firm. And after drinking alcohol, such men often "break" and begin to call and write emotional love messages to their "ex". Or I’ll get drunk to go to my former mistresses from my wife, and when I come to myself, I’ll go back to my wife in shame and beg for another forgiveness. Men without harmful addictions, although they can also break down, nevertheless, do it at times less often.

- "The correctness of the wife's behavior after reconciliation with her husband." If the wife, considering it right for herself to ask and return the unfaithful husband to the family, did five things:

- I analyzed my female mistakes well and managed to correct them;

- provided her husband with quality sex, interesting communication, tasty food and home comfort, shared his hobbies with him and got along with his environment;

- managed to become a really attractive woman (and not only like herself and close friends);

- did not humiliate herself, showed firmness and was able to force her husband to repent and give guarantees of her loyalty in the future;

- created a psychologically easy atmosphere in the family by not reproaching her husband for the mistakes he made in the past.

... then the husband with a high degree of probability will receive in the family exactly what he was looking for on the side. If the wife could not realize one of this, the husband can again start looking to the left ...

- "The presence of great common goals in the family." It is not enough to keep the family and defend it from the applicants. It's important to keep it for something. I emphasize, not only for someone - meaning the interests of the material support of the wife and children herself, but also for something. The family as a whole, that is, both spouses should have some big joint goals and plans for the years ahead. If tact plans were worked out and accepted by both partners, or the wife not only shared her husband's plans, but also became involved in their active implementation, then the husband will clearly be faithful and he can be trusted. Because by betraying his wife, thereby he will betray his own interests. Smart men usually don't make such mistakes. If, for the common goals of the family, a void gapes, or the wife does not share the really significant goals of her husband, it makes no sense to talk about trust. The husband will still look for a soul mate on the side and, most likely, will find her. Or the one that seems so.

- "The transparency of the life of the spouses." After the reconciliation of the spouses, it is important for them to synchronize their lives, to build schedules for their work and their leisure time, with an emphasis on maximum compatibility and transparency. Codda's spouses always know who is doing what, with whom they communicate, how much they earn, where they spend their money, and - most importantly, they strive to be together as much as possible.

If you wish, you can be close to a loved one at a distance,

if you don't want to, you can be distant to each other, lying in the same bed.

Only complete transparency helps to create the very feeling of trust and is the shortest path to mutual trust in a couple.

- "Completeness of mutual control of spouses." Here we are talking about the fact that spouses have every right to call each other at any time (preferably by video call), use each other's mobile phones, tablets and computers, know passwords from all accounts in each other's social networks, etc. If, after the husband's betrayal and reconciliation, the husband and wife gave such a right to each other, trust almost always returns, and relapses of betrayals are extremely rare. If the spouses have not received such a right and a “gray zone” is still preserved in their communication, then the most notorious “personal space”, sooner or later betrayal will come again. It is important to understand: from an opaque "gray zone" in life to a "black hole" in a relationship is one step.

Personal space in the family - this "black hole"

which will gradually destroy first mutual trust

between the spouses, and then the family itself.

Now you know the formula, which has as many as nine terms. I cannot cover the entire infinite fullness of life, but I can say that in those couples where there is a positive situation in at least six of the nine terms, most often the spouses successfully restore both the family and the trust in the family, betrayal will bypass them in the future. If the negative situation turns out to be in more than three terms, trust is restored long and hard, and the risks of relapse, unfortunately, are high.

All of the nine points are very important. But the following are especially important:

- The fullness of remorse and parting with his mistress

- The man has no harmful addictions

- The correctness of the wife's behavior after reconciliation with her husband

- Transparency of spouses life

- Completeness of mutual control of spouses.

These points are usually the key ones. It is on them that a woman needs to concentrate, it is in them that complete victory should be achieved.

If this article is read by a woman who, fortunately, has passed the situation with her husband's infidelity, taking these factors into account can help build family life so that there will never be any betrayal in it. Proactive actions are always more effective than subsequent ones. This principle has not been canceled.

In more detail about the topics raised in this article, I speak in such my books as "How to Strengthen Your Marriage", "Seven Shakes", "If your husband has changed or left, and you want to return him back to your family", "Quarrels around sex" ... I highly recommend reading them.

If you need the help of a psychologist in overcoming the crisis in your family life, I will be glad to try to help you during a personal or remote online consultation. The terms of the consultation are described on my website. On it you can also find my books and articles that may be useful for improving your life. Sign up for a consultation by phone: +79266335200.

Respectfully yours, psychologist, professor Andrey Zberovsky.

There are few married couples who have lived all their lives in love and fidelity. Sooner or later, the spouses are faced with the fact that a third person becomes between them - the husband's mistress or wife's lover. And it so happens that each of the spouses acquires an extramarital partner.

Despite the fact that divorce is by no means a rare occurrence in our society, betrayal is not so often the reason for divorce. Spouses, especially wives, are trying to keep their families together. Some do not want to separate their children from their father or be separated from them themselves, others love their unfaithful spouse and do not want to lose him, others are afraid to be left alone. The motive for saving seven is a lot. But in almost every case, the question of distrust arises. It gnaws and makes you commit stupid, life-poisoning acts. Therefore, if a woman decided to forgive the betrayal and continue to live in marriage, she needs to know how to learn to trust her husband after the betrayal.

How to live on after your husband's betrayal?

After the husband's infidelity, the most important thing is not to come back again and again in thoughts to this. Each new day is exactly a new day, this is today. And what happened was yesterday. Living yesterday is unproductive and contrary to the law of nature. You can only move forward, otherwise the meaning of the movement is lost. My husband is back, well, good. Now you need to build new relationships with him, and not sort out old ones. For some reason, no one wants to wear old worn-out clothes with unwashed stains, but many like to try on the image of the offended, abandoned, deceived over and over and over and over and hurt themselves. He memories cannot go anywhere, but you need to learn how to filter them.

Another point is that you do not need to please your husband in every possible way after the betrayal. Of course, one should take into account the reasons why the husband turned "to the left" and strive to eliminate them, but it is completely unnecessary to spread the Persian carpet at the feet of the master. The carpet should be at the feet, and the woman is next to her husband. Not in front, not behind, not above, not below - in modern society such excesses lead to a lack of understanding.

You need to stop complaining. The husband is already aware of how hard his wife went through his betrayal. Probably, in the course of the parents of one of the parties or both, friends. Why complain over and over again about their own inability to abstract from the source of pain?

There is no need to wait for the lost trust to return on its own. It doesn't work that way. Trust is a very subtle thing and does not arise from scratch. The wife needs to remember how she began to trust her husband at the very beginning of their relationship, when he was not even a husband yet. These are the very memories that are pleasant and beneficial. Now is the time to refresh them.

Thoughts like “what if he changes again” should be driven away. Moreover, do not discuss this option with her husband. For a husband, if he loves his wife and wants to maintain a relationship with her, his betrayal can serve as a good lesson on "how important it is to restrain your impulses." You should not form in his head a stable image of a new betrayal.

It is very important to stop thinking about what makes a woman unhappy. This is not only a betrayal that has happened, but in general, anything: an unloved job, a rude colleague, a scratched car, a rent debt. Instead, you need to concentrate on eliminating these troubles. With her husband to build such a relationship in which thoughts do not arise about infidelity. The job can be changed if you undergo retraining, retraining or improve your qualifications and change the position of a line worker to a position of a manager. Knowledge from books and video lectures on conflictology and psychology will help to establish relationships in the team. Well, the car will be repaired in any workshop. And the debt can be paid off if you moderate your spending on unnecessary purchases or work harder.

It is very important to define your life principles and build your life in accordance with them. Knowing what you really want will tell you how and with whom to build relationships, what to demand from yourself and what to ask from others. In family life, knowing each other's fundamental positions will save a lot of nerves and reduce the number of quarrels.

How to build a relationship with your husband?

Offer him instead of the woman he cheated on, a woman who needs to be conquered. Men are greedy for two things - for external beauty and for what others need. Here, they have some kind of instinct that works, which is why, from pious wives, husbands, it happens, walk with women who lead a riotous lifestyle and change lovers.

Until the age of 20-25, a woman looks the way nature intended for her, unless, of course, she has bad habits and health problems. An older woman looks the way she wants. Therefore, instead of seizing the bitterness of male infidelity with chocolates and cakes, you should take care of your appearance: sign up for a gym or buy a home exercise machine and lose weight; change hairstyle and, if necessary, hair color; do epilation and skin cleaning; stop overeating and gradually switch to a healthy diet - it is much cheaper and healthier; update or sort out the wardrobe and throw away all the things of the “wrong” size, color and style. This will create the very necessary visual age for the husband.

As for the second point - the demand for women by other men, then you need to approach it wisely. It would be nice to establish friendships with colleagues, hobby partners, but at the same time it is important not to create an image of an easily accessible woman. This can greatly complicate the relationship with the husband.

You need to be constantly interesting. This will help many books, lectures, training videos, which are posted on the Internet for free. It is advisable to make a couple of points of contact between your own interests and the interests of your husband, see some notes with him or discuss news in the area of \u200b\u200binterest to him. With her husband, you need to not only live in the same territory and have a sex life. A husband can become a reliable friend, and this is something worth striving for. Love passes with time, it is an axiom. And friendship and tenderness remain and preserve the marriage.

If previously there were often conflicts with my husband, then it is worth contacting a family psychologist right now. If these conflicts have previously led to treason, then someday they will become the reason for divorce. And then - no one wants to live with constant background grumbling. A professional psychologist will help you get rid of many harmful habits for relationships - "nagging", criticizing, taking offense, causing scandals and throwing tantrums.

In case of a quarrel with your husband, you should not react violently or with resentment to his criticism. Lessons must be learned from criticism, because it is something that can help you become better. In any remark, even if it seems unfair, there is some truth to which it is worth listening.

In the heat of the hottest quarrel, you should never reproach your husband for treason. This fact should be forgotten and banished from memory, and not serve as a final argument when arguments run out.

As for the mistress, it is also not necessary to remember her, even if she was a friend of his wife or a colleague of her husband. There was never her, she is an abstraction, a mirage, a fiction. Only such an attitude towards her will allow a man to walk past her and look through her, without indulging in memories of a fleeting sexual relationship with her.

Trust issues after treason

To trust your husband again, you need to believe his words. If he sincerely repents of his act, promises to control his desires under any circumstances, claims that his betrayal is not based on feelings for his mistress, then most likely there is no reason not to believe him. Over time, trust can be restored as you build a strong new relationship with your husband.

If the spouse convinces that there is nothing so terrible in his act, that all men are polygamous, that for him it is just entertainment, and he only loves his wife, you should not believe him. These are the arguments of a womanizer, a womanizer who will cheat on his wife in the future. Life with him will never be calm, and when he is not at home, suspicions will begin to torment the wife, and the imagination will helpfully slip a picture in which the husband will be with his mistress.

Therefore, before deciding whether to trust a husband after infidelity, one must first of all proceed from the personality of the husband himself.

Losing trust is easy, and getting it back is hard work. How to learn to trust a man who has betrayed or deceived? When a woman's heart is broken, it is extremely difficult to instill faith in her. It is necessary to do this in order to restore harmony to the previous relationship or to build a new union, avoiding numerous mistakes. How to start trusting a guy and not be afraid that there will be a place for betrayal and lies in your married life?

Why trust is important

Trust is an internal state of a person, giving a feeling of calmness and stability. This feeling gives confidence in the second half, allows you to relate to friendly or business meetings with the fair sex without worries. A woman who trusts her lover, without unnecessary worries, lets the guy go fishing or to the bathhouse with friends. She knows exactly where her husband is, and will not arrange checks with a sudden visit or annoying phone calls. Trust is the most important component of a harmonious union of two loving people.

If a girl says: “I don’t trust my husband!”, Then the partner has committed an offense that has dealt a serious blow to women's faith. Confidence in a loved one instantly disappears, a feeling of disappointment and pain of loss appears, it seems that it will be completely impossible to believe any man. Relationships without trust cannot exist - this is a common truth. In order not to destroy life and not to lose the ability to love, a woman needs to understand how to trust a man anew, because the behavior of one person cannot be judged on the nature of the rest of the stronger sex.

Reasons for mistrust

The relationship between a man and a woman is a complex interweaving of love, joy, happiness and past experiences. In most cases, distrust in a relationship arises from the inability of one of the partners to objectively assess what is happening. The heart is haunted by past negative experiences or memories of a situation that caused fears, resentments, disappointment. It is very difficult to believe a new lover, the subconscious constantly gives out pictures of an unfavorable completion of an acquaintance.

What are the root causes of trust problems?

1. The woman is too jealous.
2. The spouse regularly deceives his beloved.

Hundreds of young ladies turn to psychologists with the question: "After that, I can't trust him, what to do next?" Experts will help you forgive deception, sort out your feelings and look at the situation in a different way. It is imperative to return faith to a woman's heart, otherwise life may follow a completely negative scenario. Mistrust makes the lady feel discontent, discomfort, suffering. How to start trusting a guy to get rid of bad feelings?

5 steps to faith

It is impossible to create a happy family union without trust in a man. "I don't trust my husband!" - this phrase can often be heard in a conversation between two friends or at a psychologist's appointment. What can you do to regain faith in a person?

1. Believe only facts, not speculation. It is easy to say: “I don’t trust the guy!”, Just for a start it would be nice to figure out if there really is a reason for jealousy. Delay after work, meeting friends or talking on the phone with a friend are not signs of cheating, but quite normal life situations.
2. How to learn to trust your husband after cheating? If the fact of adultery is proven, you need to decide for yourself whether it is worth continuing the relationship. Parting is not considered? So, you need to trust your spouse again. If a man sincerely repents, does not want to lose his beloved woman, proving his intentions not in words, but in deeds, the spouse should try to revive her trust.
3. How to believe your husband after infidelity? Be optimistic. Don't make up creepy stories and distract yourself from worrying thoughts. Accept men's side-going as a mistake anyone could make. Do not increase control, but, on the contrary, give your partner a certain amount of freedom. With this, a woman will tie her lover much more tightly, earning respect in his eyes.
4. How to start trusting your husband? Don't listen to friends tell stories about unfaithful spouses. Stop total control over every step of a man, show that you believe him and you will be deeply hurt if he does not justify the trust placed in him. Do not forbid your husband to communicate with other people.
5. To regain trust in guys, make male friends. This will allow, after a bitter experience, to stop perceiving men as something dangerous and alien.

Trust is the foundation of family happiness. It matters even more than love. If a woman says, "I don't trust my husband, what should I do?" a psychologist's advice will help shed light on the situation.

1. Don't confuse trust with unwarranted hope. If a man does not correspond to a fictional female mind, it is worth reconsidering your attitude to the situation. Accept your beloved with all the flaws, do not be afraid to trust him with hopes and dreams.
2. If you don't trust your husband, what to do? Don't rate your partner on your own. Many ladies in vain consciously look for vices in the chosen one, to which they themselves are prone: lies, anger, betrayal, secret conspiracies. If you are capable of betrayal, this does not mean at all that your beloved will also cheat.
3. Build your self-esteem. If a woman has an underestimated sense of her own worth, she believes she deserves to be betrayed and deceived. This provokes the young lady to look for a dirty trick in others and constantly expect betrayal. To get out of a pathological situation, you should work a lot on yourself and try to break out of the vicious circle.

After betrayal, deception, betrayal, the girl has numerous hidden fears. It is very difficult to believe the person who has betrayed again, and it is even more difficult not to transfer this negative to a new relationship. Only constant work on herself will help a woman find comfort and tranquility. Remember that life is too short to be wasted on reproaches and suspicions. Learn to enjoy every moment with your loved one, be positive and he never wants to shake your trust.