Folk proverbs say: When leaving, burn the bridges behind you; there is no turning back; time cannot be returned; do not enter the same river twice and the like. But I tried to do it differently. Namely, I returned my beloved girlfriend. Although, perhaps, we did not go far from each other. Otherwise, they just temporarily stopped communicating.
I'll tell you my story: I'm not really lucky with girls. I can't communicate with them for a long time. Somehow they bore me quickly. Those who are dumber, immediately tell how many guys they had, who then abandoned whom. And I don't want to be on this list at all. Those who are a little smarter, at first hide everything, then the truth I still find out: who will win, when and how much. I begin to feel that this is not mine. This girl did not hook me, I am not interested in her. I'm trying to get to know others. And once, quite by chance, I met an ordinary girl, who at first glance turned out to be nothing to me.
Appearance inconspicuous, looks average. On the principle - so it will go. I begin to communicate, and I am gradually overwhelmed by an unfamiliar feeling. I myself think: “This is all nonsense. Now he will tell me about his exes, I shake my head and move on. " Oddly enough, this story I never heard on that day. I even got curious. When will she start to tell. After all, I must, as always, leave.
At our next meeting, we walked a lot, talked. She treated me more like an interesting person, and not like a guy who should be shown to her friends. Then there were more meetings and more. I remember the day when I first took her hand. She did not pull it back, she was waiting for it. Our relationship began to move to a new stage. I wanted to see her every day. With difficulty I tried to persuade myself not to call her constantly, so as not to bother. We went for a walk in any weather, and the two of us felt good. And then, quite unexpectedly, the moment came when we got tired of each other. We knew all the stories from the life of each of us. For some reason, it suddenly became cold or hot outside. I felt I needed to take a break. We need to take a break from each other, think and just get bored. Why I began to feel this way, I do not know. It was stronger than me.
I didn't know how to tell her about it, so as not to offend. But she saw everything in my eyes. She was very upset, even scared. There was a silence in our relationship. And in order not to aggravate the situation, I decided to talk.
He told her the truth as it was. I knew that she felt me \u200b\u200bvery well and would immediately see the lie. It was very difficult to talk about our parting, but I understood that it was simply necessary. We both need it. Only by letting go of each other will we both understand how we feel. I myself appointed the day of parting. My girl just silently agreed with this with tears in her eyes.
And here I am alone ... no need to call, no need to meet. It's very quiet around. For several days I just sat at home. And then he began to communicate with friends, with girlfriends again. I tried to go to clubs, movies. Life, as it were, returned to its former course, only it was not there. So one week passed, the second. Then a whole month passed. I accidentally saw her from the car. She walked with her head down. I wanted to shout, but then I restrained myself. I endured for another month, and then life itself decided everything for me.
I ran into her at the store and we both couldn't resist. We rushed to meet each other. We will remember this day for a long time. Since then we have not parted. And so that everything that we have gone through with such labor did not happen, we decided to tell each other everything at once.
"Only by giving up something, you can understand how much you wanted it."
- Roman Vinilov.
Hello Friend! Roman Vinilov is in touch.
It is a normal thing for any person to regret what they have done. Errors are common for everyone. But what if the price of such a mistake is personal happiness? It so happens that we do not fully understand the value of loved ones while they are with us. Why, it happens very often. It's time to talk about how to get back the girl he left behind. Is this even possible?
I'm sorry I left the girl. What to do?
Let's start with this. If you really think that your breakup was a mistake, and you really want to return it, this is not a problem. As I said above, people tend to be wrong. And if you are only stopped by the fact that you have to change your mind and because of this you will look stupid, then get rid of these thoughts. This is especially true for those who have had a long relationship. In this case, everything is easier to restore.
And the second question. Moral and ethical. Ditching the girl once is not good. But it happens. But to quit, then return it and quit again is already a really low act. Therefore, you will have to think carefully whether you really want to return her, or just saw her with someone else and a sense of ownership took over. Some people torture each other like this for years. This behavior is called "a dog in the manger" - neither to oneself nor to others. If you have such cockroaches in your head. I don't really want to help.
Is it possible to bring back the girl you left
Most often, guys who are not in a very long relationship with a girl get into this situation. You just don't have time to understand how much you liked her. Feelings for her flare up gradually. And a chance meeting can change everything. And you understand that all the other girls are not like that. It was not so easy and good for you with any other. But how can you tell her that you regret that you once left? What is she experiencing? Maybe she cooled down long ago?
You need to act in this situation carefully, in no way showing how much it really means to you now. Ideally, set up a completely random meeting that can serve as a further reason for a date in which you can seduce her again. Surely it will be much easier to do this, because once you have already succeeded. The main thing is not to do everything exactly the same. Of course, you can use your old experience as an excuse for romantic nostalgia, but the main thing is not to cause negative emotions from the memories of the breakup.
In general, everything is quite individual, and a lot will depend on a number of reasons:
- How long did you meet before breaking up and how serious your relationship was. On the one hand, a serious relationship does not let go for a long time, so there is something to return. On the other hand, the resentment can be so strong that reunification will be impossible;
- What feelings she had for you during your previous relationship. If she found something to love you for, then you have a much better chance of success;
- How was the breakup. How negative it was and how did you communicate after that (if communicated). Have you done what you feel guilty about in front of her. Sometimes it is purely humanly important to apologize, otherwise the understatement will hang on both of you;
- How much time has passed since the breakup. A long separation can be both a minus and a plus. For example, if you were barely familiar, and you realized that you fell in love with her as a result of meeting a few years later, then everything starts as if from the beginning, and past grievances do not matter at all;
- Did she manage to start a new serious relationship. Or frivolous. At the end of the day, for some guys, this is an extremely important nuance that can change everything. Many will not be able to come to terms with the fact that their ex-girlfriend has an affair with someone else;
- For example, a girl may still be angry with you. Seeing interest on your part, she will be delighted at heart, but will not understand how serious your intentions are. At the same time, she will want to crank up an easy revenge - for one thing, see if you have lost your former self-confidence. She can try to refuse you, and if you give up slack and start running after her, everything can end badly. But if you answer the cold on her part with a step back, you can get everything.
If you had a serious relationship with the girl you dumped, then you probably still have things or circumstances that connected you. This can be used as an occasion for communication. And you should not show any signs of attention to her - you are just friends. So she will understand that you are not going to return anything, but at the same time, feelings will begin to play in her again. If you know her well, you will definitely notice it. Realizing that you are still not indifferent to her, it will be much easier to return her.
Dropped the girl and she found the guy
In this case, everything is more complicated, and you will have to act more subtly. If their relationship is strong, then you may not succeed. But there is a very high probability that her new relationship is a performance created especially for you, especially if you broke up not so long ago. In this case, you can try not to pay any attention to her new relationship. This will also be a kind of test that must be passed. Again, it will be useful to take a closer look - to start communicating in a friendly way, without showing signs of attention. The main thing is to understand how she feels.
What conclusion can be drawn from all this? You never know what turn fate will take. Today you feel one thing, and tomorrow you realize that you were mistaken. And to make it easier to correct mistakes, it is better to behave carefully. You can also part ways with girls in different ways - staying on friendly terms. Then it will be much easier to return the romantic spark.
Without knowing all the details of the situation, it is difficult to give universal recommendations. I can say one thing: if you regretted leaving the girl and now want to return her, you must definitely try. Most likely, we are talking about real feelings and the situation is different from the one when the girl leaves the guy and it is not clear - he wants to return her because he loves or he just has wounded pride / fear of being alone.
Getting the girl back is difficult, but possible. Even if we are talking about the one that you yourself threw, and then regretted. The only problem here is that one parting on your initiative has already happened, which means that there is a certain negative background, and if at some stage you make a serious mistake - for example, during seduction - then this door can completely close for you. Especially if she had a serious grudge against you and she was upset by the breakup. And then hardly any measures will help to return it.
I, as a coach, cannot advise you to act at your own peril and risk and fill bumps on your own. My job is to offer help. And we can really do this - both in terms of returning an ex-girlfriend (it doesn't matter if you left her or she left you), and in the area of \u200b\u200bseduction. In any case, you will get an invaluable experience of communicating with girls and the confidence you need in your abilities.
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Life after breaking up: whether to suppress desire ...
You left her yourself, now you yourself will have to "go out of your way" in order to win her favor again, to earn her trust and love.
When a guy leaves a girl, she perceives it as a betrayal. No matter how she loves her boyfriend, it is not easy for her to accept him again, to believe him. And it is right. Her fears are not unfounded. Throw it once, throw it twice. She fears again to feel lonely, unnecessary, humiliated, betrayed. Why would she live in anticipation of betrayal, humiliation? Therefore, even loving, the girl chooses the path of not forgiving you. Not only because of pride, but precisely for the reasons described above. Put yourself in her place. How would you take it? Would it please you? Would you forgive in this situation? Would I find an excuse for the girl if she did this? By answering these questions, you will find out how she feels, whether it is easy for her to continue the relationship with you, whether she can be with you.
If you really love your girlfriend, you don't want to hurt her anymore. If you are not sure of yourself, that you can give her what she needs, it is better to leave her. Ask for forgiveness, talk, but you should not return to the relationship. If you are sure that you will "take out" this relationship, act, but be prepared for the fact that the girl will not forgive you or forgive you, but will not be able to accept.
The first thing you need to do is to convince your beloved that you will not leave her anymore, that you will not betray that you love, that you need her like no one else in the world. But these should not be just words, not supported by actions, these should be actions supported by the necessary words. Nobody will tell you exactly what you are going to do, as it is very individual. Someone needs a conversation in a cafe, someone needs to make a romantic surprise, someone will have to prove step by step for at least a month that he is the one that his beloved needs.
This time you may not get off with gifts, flowers, surprises, romantics, sincere conversations, confessions, tears. All this, perhaps, she already received from you, but after such a serious step that you took in relation to her, she needs something more, or she does not need anything at all from you, except perhaps satisfaction - so that you repent, regret what you have done.
A girl can return to you in order to harbor a grudge, sometime to take revenge on you, to act with you in the same way as you did with her. You also need to be prepared for this. Maybe during the time that you will be with her after the reunion, you can melt her heart and make her give up the idea that revenge is necessary.
By the way, such an act of yours - parting with a girl, can make her stop loving you. Some girls stop loving when they are greatly offended, which is why they easily leave guys, for example, when they find out about cheating. Because of the offense, their feelings are broken in a moment, there is only love, but not love, which allows people to be together.
