Two hearts by the will of the Zodiac

Merged into one under the shadow of Marriage.

There are seven wonders in the world, however

There is nothing more wonderful than Marriage.At present, the wedding, as a complex multi-stage complex of rituals, has practically not been preserved. Time and fashion dictate their terms, but some elements are alive.

rite church wedding becomes more and more frequent.

It is impossible to imagine a wedding without first meeting the parents. They also stipulate the material side of the issue - what the wedding will cost, and how the expenses will be distributed. (Let's note right away: today there is more atypical in this case than at any time in the past).

Traditionally, the bridegroom buys the rings, dress and shoes for the bride, and the bride's family provides the "dowry" - bed linen, crockery and furniture. Almost everywhere there is a wedding feast. The wedding can be based on both a village and a city ritual, or you can combine elements of both. The rest depends on the possibilities, tastes, traditions of the families of the bride and groom and the ingenuity of their friends. Often, professionals are invited to conduct a wedding, they resort to the services of special institutions - wedding houses, etc.

There are also various wedding scenarios. Let's dwell on some "generally accepted" points.

It is customary for the bride and groom to write invitations themselves and deliver them personally to those whom they wish to see at their wedding. An exception is for non-residents, but it is considered more polite if a written invitation is confirmed by a telephone conversation. Relatives and friends must certainly be present at the solemn act of marriage registration, where they congratulate the newlyweds and give flowers. The presence of witnesses is regulated officially. Wedding palaces became popular. There, every couple will be sure to smile (and, if necessary, they will be helped, reassured: there are many cases when brides fainted from excitement).

It is customary to give gifts to young people at a wedding. It has become, however, quite acceptable once insulting business - to give the young money in a smart envelope. And invited, but unable to come to the wedding, relatives or friends simply send money transfers.

The main characters at the wedding - the bride and groom - should be the most elegant. If the bride is getting married in a church, then her dress should not have a deep neckline. The flowers that the groom orders (with the knowledge of the bride) must be in harmony with the dress. (At the marriage registration, the bride may appear in short dress or without a veil, but with a bouquet). The bride's light dress and the groom's white shirt and tie are an indispensable condition for a church wedding and are specifically stipulated - just like the fact that the married Christians must be baptized and have crosses on their shoulders.

Only the bride can wear white at a wedding!

In the old days, grooms wore a tailcoat, today they can wear a dark (in winter) or light (in summer) well-tailored suit, white shirt, tie or bow tie. It's good when in the buttonhole there is a small bouquet of the same flowers as the bride's.

(In case of remarriage, which, alas, is not uncommon in our time, the wedding is no longer so magnificent and in quite narrow circle. Guests arrive in holiday dress. However, the bride no longer wears a veil and a snow-white outfit. On the head there can be just beautifully styled hair, sometimes decorated with several flowers or a hat, but a bouquet is still needed in the hands).

More about flowers. Previously, the bride was supposed to choose flowers of the same color - mostly pale pink or white, but now they choose other flowers or combine many types of flowers, trying to harmonize in shape and color. There is one general rule: everything that does not violate harmony is permissible. In the bride's dress, flowers are used in different ways. In the form of an elegant wreath, they can decorate her head. Graceful buttonholes pinned to a light veil or dress are very beautiful.

A traditional bouquet can be made openwork, hanging or placed in a small elegant basket, ending in an inconspicuous comfortable ring that is worn on the finger. Most often, bouquets for the bride are made elongated - this is a one-sided "German" bouquet, or - with shoots of climbing plants that diverge far in different directions - the so-called English variety. Less well known is the Swedish round bouquet" summer solstice", made up of colorful summer flowers, cereals, ears of corn, with lace ribbons and colored tulle.

It is not at all necessary that the bouquet consists of expensive flowers. Decisive for choosing a bouquet are the age and appearance of the bride, as well as color and length. wedding dress.

A short, fragile bride is contraindicated in a large and lush bouquet, and too large flowers will not work either. For her, it is preferable to choose a small, elegantly arranged bouquet, which she can hold with two fingers, or a basket bouquet.

bride tall and of an appropriate physique, a rather large bouquet, which is worn on the elbow, should be preferred. This is a bouquet of long-stemmed flowers, the center of gravity of which is on the bride's hand and the flowers themselves hang down.

For the groom, you can make a delicate boutonniere. For complete harmony, the boutonniere should be of the same colors as the bride's bouquet.

In many countries, the bride wears myrtle branches in her hair and a bouquet of the same branches in the form of a brooch on her chest. The groom wears a bouquet of myrtle branches in his buttonhole.

The traditional exclamation "Bitter!" at the wedding table sounds for centuries. Not without congratulatory verses either.

The wedding table does not have a significant ritual program. Perhaps only chicken dishes and a wedding cake have survived on the menu. The rest - according to tastes and possibilities. But oh wedding cake should be said specifically.

A wedding cake, or a bride's cake, is not only a delicious confectionery and table decoration, but also a symbol that expresses with skillful decoration good wishes bride, young family. Cake in the form of a wicker basket with white roses - a symbol of purity, purity and love; with red - deep and passionate love; cake with swans and a chick - a hint of an addition to new family; "horn of plenty" - to prosperity; horseshoe cake - fortunately; "lira" - to creative perfection; cake in the form of a pyramid - a wish to live to a ripe old age, to climb to the top of life together ...

Gift inscriptions and wishes should not be made on "thematic" cakes.

The wedding cake is usually placed on the banquet table in front of the newlyweds. You can put the cake on a special bedside table or table near the bride and groom. When it's time for dessert, the bride cuts the cake (that's where the test of dexterity and accuracy is!). The groom puts the piece with the main pattern on the bride's plate.

It is advisable to arrange the tables with the letter "P", a different arrangement is also possible - the main thing is that the bride and groom and parents are in the center of the table. At crowded weddings, it is recommended to place guests according to the plan according to name cards.

Fruits are decoration of the banquet table. The composition of grapes, apples, pears, peaches, bananas, etc., placed in a high crystal vase, gives the wedding table the necessary splendor and freshness. In general, it should be remembered that the color of the treats, the external design of the table are no less important than the taste. A skillful arrangement of dishes, fruits, confectionery on a white or colored tablecloth affects a person like a good picture.

The rule for serving and serving guests is that snacks, bread and spices must be removed from the table before serving dessert. An exception is allowed at the wedding. In this case, the hosts only have to clean up the table from time to time: remove the empty dishes, and put the same appetizers left on the dishes on one dish along with greens and other decorations. To do this, it is best to have greens, radishes, olives, cucumbers, green peas, etc., pre-cut and dipped in water, on hand, which can immediately decorate the combined dishes. It is advisable to have soft drinks on the tables until the very end of the celebration.

The solemnity of the wedding table, in addition to flowers, is given by candlesticks in the form of candelabra for 3-5-7 candles. Antique silver and bronze high chandeliers or ceramic and wooden ones are always beautiful. High candlesticks and slender, even candles do not blind those sitting at the table, do not interfere with seeing each other. However, you should not overload the table with candlesticks. For a 50-seat table, 2-3 candelabra of 3 candles are enough (the total number of candles, as is customary, should be odd).

At the table to the right of the bride and to the left of the groom, leave some space, somewhat separating the young from the rest. This should be done not so much for convenience (although comfort is important), but according to tradition, which provides for a special position for the bride and groom.

A happy marriage loves the holidays. We have loving spouses celebrate every anniversary. But there is also an almost "official" list of wedding anniversaries, which are usually celebrated.

The first wedding anniversary is called calico. Five years - wooden, seven - copper, ten - pink, fifteen - glass, twenty - porcelain, twenty-five - silver, thirty - pearl, forty - ruby, fifty - gold, seventy-five - diamond. The name also suggests gifts. And favorite flowers (or maybe those of which the wedding bouquet consisted!).

An example of a wedding scenario in one of the wedding houses:

The wedding celebration begins with a solemn meeting of the newlyweds at the entrance. The presenter congratulates them and escorts them to the young couple's room, meanwhile organizing the guests for a solemn meeting in the wedding ritual hall. Guests are located on both sides of the carpet, at the end of which are the parents of the newlyweds.

When the young people, accompanied by witnesses, enter the hall to the sound of the wedding march, the guests shower them with sweets and flowers. The groom's mother brings them a lush fresh loaf, specially baked for the wedding, on an elegant towel, and the bride's mother generously showers them with grain. Everyone wishes happiness and well-being to the young family.

Young break bread, treat wedding loaf each other, parents, witnesses and all guests. The host gives the young wife a small whisk, and the young husband - a scoop, and offers to sweep the carpet. To cheerful music, young people gather grain and sweets. The presenter comments on their work, explaining to the guests the meaning of the wedding ceremony: the bride, having shown skill, must quickly remove the garbage to please her mother-in-law, and the son-in-law must good helper daughters. The guests thank the young people with applause for their first joint work and give gifts. (V. Dahl - to teach the young woman to sweep the floor / she sweeps, and the guests litter to test her patience / - Approx. comp.).

Then the host, on behalf of the newlyweds, invites everyone to the wedding table. The first solemn toast - congratulations to the young - is offered by the host of the celebration or the guest of honor of the wedding. The guests greet the young standing. Young people thank their parents. The presenter invites guests to congratulate their parents on a joyful event.

The response word - a parental mandate - is offered to the parents of the newlyweds. Then guests of honor, witnesses and friends speak.

Dances are opened by the newlyweds, the next dance is offered for everyone.

Then the presenter reads out the decree - a comic parting word to the young, sustained in an epic style. The decree is issued in the form of a scroll with wax seals. After the reading, the scroll is given to the young. And again congratulations, wishes and instructions follow.

Young people are invited to break a bagel-hoop baked from dough. Whoever breaks off a larger piece is proclaimed the head of the family for a day.

A prerequisite for a feast is songs. The youth sings their favorite songs, the elders sing old wedding songs.

Weddings of any nationality are famous for their special traditions and rituals. But no matter what nation the heroes of the occasion belong to, all the rites symbolize purity, love, devotion of hearts and procreation.

The most ancient rite is to meet the newlyweds after the marriage with bread and salt in the groom's house.

This tradition symbolizes that a new family has been “baked”, in which there should be prosperity and satiety. Breaking or biting off a loaf became a ritual only in recent centuries, when women began to fight for equality in the house with men.

The traditional union in the unity of the young begins at the threshold of the registry office, when the mother-in-law leads the couple out, tying their hands together with a scarlet ribbon. You can often find bottles tied together on the table of the newlyweds, symbolizing the bride and groom, this is a continuation of the rite of “binding forever”.

Most wedding traditions, such as throwing rice or breaking a wedding cake, go back a long way. Every ritual has its own story...

White dress of the bride.
The tradition of wearing a white dress for a wedding and always a new dress, intended only for this occasion, is relatively young - it is only 150 years old. Previously, few women could afford such a luxury. White color traditionally symbolizes youth and innocence. In Asia and the Middle East, red and orange are popular because they are considered colors of joy and celebration.

Wedding cake.

Wheat, an ancient symbol of fertility, was mainly used to bake the wedding cake. In ancient Rome, a thick loaf of bread was broken over the heads of the spouses. The crumbs were kept and taken home by the guests as a sign of good luck. The tradition of breaking the wedding cake comes from old England, where the bride and groom had to kiss through a bunch of little cakes.

Flowers.
Ancient Roman brides wore bouquets of flowers under their veils as a symbol of fidelity. Orange flowers served as a symbol of happiness and childbearing, since the orange tree blooms and bears fruit at the same time. Roses are the flowers of love, making June, the month of roses, the most popular month for weddings.

Honeymoon.
In ancient times, the groom, who stole the bride from her parents, tried, for obvious reasons, to take her away ... This was the first honeymoon. The name itself was invented by the Teutons, an ancient Germanic tribe. After the wedding ceremony, the guests drank a honey drink until the moon began to wane.

Scattering rice.
Rice is a symbol of fertility and long life. Guests threw rice at the bride and groom, wishing them children and a happy life. Confetti, orange flowers, corn, barley, and figs may also be scattered to sweeten the marriage.

Rings.
Wedding rings are associated with the rite of exchange of rings to seal an important agreement. The ring has no end, which symbolizes eternal love. The ring is worn on the third finger of the left hand, since it is believed that it is from this finger that a direct vein goes to the heart.

Veil.
Roman brides wore veils as early as 2,000 years ago. The veil is worn as a sign of modesty and secrecy, and only the husband could take it off after the marriage ceremony. In some Eastern countries, a veil was placed between a man and a woman for the entire wedding ceremony. This was done in order to make sure that they would not see or touch each other until the marriage was completed.

Beautiful rituals at the wedding

The ceremony with a lit candle at the wedding symbolizes the warmth of the hearth. As a rule, the mother of the bride lights the fire and passes it on to her daughter. It is very important to use a large candle that will not go out on the wedding day, so that the young people live their whole lives in peace and harmony. The last dance of the young with a candle symbolizes that their love will never fade away.

It is a beautiful custom to lock the lock with a key, it means that the family is closed from outsiders, there is no “third wheel” to enter it, and since the key is thrown into the river, there is no way out of the family. This rite "closes" the family, preserves marital fidelity.

Often, young people release doves into the sky, this ceremony symbolizes farewell to windy youth. Modern young couples have changed this tradition and tie a pink ribbon to the foot of the bride's dove, and the groom's gray-winged is marked with a blue ribbon. It is believed - whose bird flies higher, the first child will have such a sex.

Traditionally, gender can be determined by a passerby who met the newlyweds on the way from the marriage house. This person must be thanked and fed so that the unborn child is always healthy.

The rite of redemption of the bride at the wedding came to us from antiquity, but much has changed in it. Previously the ransom was made with poems, dances, songs and actions in which the groom and his friend showed strength, courage and resourcefulness. Difficult tasks were set for the future husband - to chop wood, saw the log, jump over the fire. At modern weddings, the future wife is more often redeemed for sweets, gifts and money.

An ancient rite is the removal of a veil at a wedding from the head of the bride. The white veil signifies the purity of the virgin, and at the end of the evening the mother removes it from her daughter's head before the wedding night. After that, the newly-made husband takes the young wife in his arms and brings it into his house, always crossing the threshold so that the evil spirits do not frighten the girl.

wedding omens

Before the wedding

The bride's dress should be with long sleeves and a closed back, long and without flowers, boutonnieres at the waist.

Warn all relatives and future guests not to give piercing and cutting objects.

Misfortune will befall a young couple who announce their impending marriage at the end of one quarter of the year, and get married at the beginning of the next.

When you go to your future daughter-in-law to woo your son, let your son enter first. He does not take off his hat in front of the matchmakers until they are seated at the table. If one of the wooers manages to take away a spoon from the bride's house, then the son will be the master in the house and his wife will never leave. Three months after their wedding, the spoon should be thrown into the house of the bride.

A wedding dress, a ring and a veil should not be allowed to be measured either by girlfriends or sisters or anyone else. Otherwise, there will be quarrels in the family or the marriage will not take place at all.

You can not invite an even number of guests to the wedding.

Don't buy lace-up shoes. The bride should have shoes without laces.

You can’t let guests into the bedroom of the young before the wedding, and even more so show their bed.

Wedding towel, candles are not left in the church. Hiding at home - sure to come in handy.

The bride's dress, veil, shoes and wedding rings should be under special supervision, as they can be easily damaged and even simply ruined by chance. The damage that came from the wedding is heavy and difficult to remove. Therefore, you need to take care of the bride's dress until the year of their life together.

The change received from the purchase of veils, shoes, dresses is not spent as long as possible, at least not less than three months. Take away this money so that a stranger does not take it into the hands.

The bride's dress can be white, beige, gold, golden, pink. The bride's dress should not be black, blue, light blue, red, green, gray. The same applies to underwear.

The bride should not wear pearls and they are never given. Especially for a wedding.

The groom must wear a black suit. Allowed gray, white, gold. The same goes for shoes.

A wedding dress should have an even number of buttons, if any, of course. The bride's underwear must be only white, and the shoes must be without laces.

An odd number of guests are invited to the wedding.

Before the wedding, the mother of the bride must cover her daughter's face with a veil. After the ceremony is over, the groom throws back the veil and kisses the bride.

Before going to bed on the eve of the wedding, the bride puts a mirror under her pillow.

in order to come to family happiness and choose the right course for your life together.

On the wedding day

The mother of the bride should not be present at the wedding.

If the bride was presented with roses, then the bride herself should cut off all the thorns with scissors. Look, don't poke yourself.

A wreath with a veil is put on the head. There should be no flowers separately inserted into the hair, hats and tiaras.

The bride should put on the dress first of all, sticking her head through the neck. A friend with the same name does not dress up the bride.

The dress should have an even number of buttons, if any. The bride's underwear must be white.

If the bride's hem is cut off during the wedding, the bride herself does not hem it.

Young people are seated at the table on a shaggy fur coat or sheepskin coat, turned inside out with fur. To live richly.

The spoon that the groom ate at the wedding table is cleaned up until the fortieth day. On the fortieth day, they give her husband to eat it again. To live well and long together.

On the day of the wedding, it is good to plant a tree for the bride and groom. Plant so that they start.

Leaving the church after the wedding, the bride distributes change in order to remove unnecessary troubles in her family life.

During the wedding, when the crowns are on the head or above the head, young people should not look into each other's eyes: there will be betrayals. Don't look at your candles either. Look at the father.

During the wedding, try to get out of the doors that you entered, otherwise it will be a disaster.

If all the pins from the bride's outfit were taken out by one woman, then every girl who received such a pin within one year will get married. If the pin is bent, will remain an old maid.

Getting married after sunset will not bring anything good.

The girl who received a piece of cheese from the bride, cut off before leaving the table, will be the next bride among her friends.

Matchmaking: 3, 5, 7 and 9 are lucky days.

On Wednesday and Friday they don't get married.

The wedding ring is not worn on the glove.

Hat on the wedding day on the bride - to divorce.

So that the son-in-law does not offend the daughter, the mother-in-law should (while they are going to the wedding) pin a pin on the bra at the right breast, and on the way back, pin it on the left breast. Upon arrival from the church, the mother pins this pin on the hem of her daughter. Do not remove the pin until the first wash.

The matchmakers do not take salt - their children will not live, they will disperse.

If the wife’s ring falls during the wedding, she will die first, if the husband’s ring falls, he is a short-lived tenant.

If at the wedding one of the young people first steps to the altar, he will be the head of everything.

If someone throws shoes of salt at the bride, first into the right, and then into the left, the young woman will cry with her husband all her life. According to custom, shoes are stolen at a wedding, be careful.

If during the wedding one of the choristers coughs, then this means that one of the newlyweds will not live so long.

If the wedding car meets a funeral procession, you should consider: Wreath wreath strife. Amen.

If the candles go out during the wedding, the bride and groom should exchange candles, otherwise there will be no life.

When crowning your children, see that three of the same sex, that is, three men or women, do not stand behind them. Children will not live.

If a wedding tablecloth is laid three years in a row on the anniversary of the marriage, then the young will live to a ripe old age.

If the bride or groom drops something during the wedding, you cannot pick up this thing (flowers, gloves, etc.).

Try to avoid scandals during the wedding, so that you do not harm anyone, so that your car does not hit a dog or a cat, and, of course, the dead are not commemorated at the wedding table.

The loaf with which the newlyweds are greeted, the guests do not eat. If it is very large and it is impossible to eat it right away, dry the crackers and eat it with soup. Loaf eat only bride and groom.

You can not hold a crown over the heads of the bride and groom. The crown should be put on their heads.

The path of the bride and groom is lined with carpets so that they walk more gently through life.

Leaving after the wedding, the bride distributes change to avoid trouble in her family life.

In order for the family to be prosperous, the newlyweds are showered with grain, coins and sweets along the way, and the coins put into the glasses of the bride and groom during the wedding are kept at home under the tablecloth.

If before the registry office the bride and groom stealthily eat one chocolate bar for two, life will be sweet

The mothers of the bride and groom must be dressed in one-piece dresses and in no case - in suits.

It is customary for young people to look in one mirror after marriage.

The first glass that is presented to the newlyweds, after they have become legal spouses, they break.

Sets of knives and forks are not given to a wedding so that there are no quarrels

A husband and wife should not eat from the same spoon at a wedding, so as not to be dissatisfied with each other later.

After the wedding

Wedding dress, veil, shoes are not rented or sold to anyone, so if you financial difficulties, then the dress should be sewn not expensive or one that can be worn on holidays.

Dried wedding flowers are not stored.

Don't give wedding photos to everyone. It is very easy to damage them.

original wedding customs

There are a dozen or two more customs that are often overlooked by the young. But it is they who will help you make your wedding sincere and unforgettable.

It is simply impossible to list them all at once, so we suggest you choose from those that are the most common, significant and beautiful.

According to an old English proverb the bride must wear something old, new, blue and borrowed to the wedding ("something old and something new, something borrowed and something blue").

It stands for this: a new thing symbolizes good luck for the bride in her new family life. The old (usually a family jewel) symbolizes the connection with the bride's family, brings her peace of mind. Borrowed guarantees that the bride will always have true friends nearby. And something blue will bring love and fidelity to the bride.

Now it has become fashionable when newlyweds hang on bridges castle with their names. But this old Russian rite was carried out in a slightly different way. Before the young people get ready to leave the house, a lock is placed under the threshold of the house. After the young people step over the lock, it is closed, and the key is thrown into a deep reservoir. The castle should be kept in the family as a symbol of love.

The launch of pigeons has already become a tradition. This custom came from Italy, where the bride released a dove into the wild as a sign that she was leaving her home. Now newlyweds make a wish when launching pigeons, and if the pigeons fly nearby, then the wish will come true.

A completely new custom the bride releases a sky lantern into the sky or balloon with his own written on it maiden name as a sign that she says goodbye to her.

At the meeting of the newlyweds after the ceremony with a loaf they break glasses, throwing them over their backs. Glasses are broken as a sign that the young have left all their evil behind. And looking at the fragments of broken plates, they look at how happy the newlyweds will be - the more fragments, the more happiness.

Before the start of the wedding banquet (and sometimes before the young people leave home) family fire ceremony. Mothers of the young with the help of candles convey the warmth of the parental family hearth to their children. The newlyweds light one big candle with two candles. This large candle will symbolize their family hearth.

Ritual of farewell to the veil is becoming more and more fashionable. There are several variations of it.

According to one scenario, in the second half of the wedding, the bride changes from her wedding dress to a ball gown, and gives her veil to an unmarried friend who dreams of finding her betrothed.

However, most often the veil is removed by the mother-in-law, immediately covering the bride's head with a scarf or shawl. This symbolizes that the mother-in-law accepts the bride into her house, as a daughter, as a continuer of the family. The veil itself should be kept at home, it should not be given to strangers. Our grandmothers said that a young mother can cover the baby's bed if he sleeps restlessly.

In western Ukraine, a “dancing” of the veil is being carried out. The bride dances with unmarried friends and holds a veil over her head. Thus, the bride "dances" her husband's girlfriend.

At the wedding, the bride give a box of wedding rings the girl she wishes for a quick marriage.

Bound bottles of champagne are given to the young, one of which they drink on their wedding anniversary, and the second on the birth of their first child.

Wedding ceremony of handing over the family hearth to the newlyweds

The whole essence of this ritual lies in the fact that it is the parents of the young who symbolically transfer warmth from their family hearth to the new family. The ritual itself is carried out at the end of the wedding festivities, when the young themselves go to new house and parents, both from the side of the groom and from the side of the bride, light a candle each and at the same time light a common candle for the young with two candles, while pronouncing wishes and instructions for the young family.

The ritual itself also provides for direct participation and wedding guests. They form a circle and also hold candles in their hands, thereby forming a kind of protective circle around the young. The lights in the hall are turned off and the newlyweds stand in an impromptu protective circle with one common wax candle. At this time, each of the guests pronounces his brief wish and after that raises the candle up and mentally repeats the wish said aloud and lowers the candle.

After all the guests have expressed their wish, the parents of the young come up to the couple and pronounce their instructions and light the common candle of the new married couple with a flame from their candles. Having lit a candle and wishing the best for the young, the candles are not extinguished, but placed on the tables, while creating a romantic atmosphere during the wedding ceremony.

There are a lot of modern wedding rituals and ceremonies: new ones are constantly appearing, and sometimes well-forgotten old wedding ceremonies simply return. Choose which ones you like, which ones will look beautiful at your wedding, and which ones carry meaning. It is quite possible that at your wedding there will be rituals that your grandmother or someone you know will tell you.

But do not forget that the rituals should be approached carefully so that there are not too many of them, and each ritual becomes bright and memorable not only for you, but also for your guests.

The history of the Russian people is very interesting and completely forgotten in vain. We invite you to find out the wedding ceremonies and traditions that were carried out in ancient Rus' and were part of the wedding ritual, and today they are successfully forgotten or remade in a new way.

Matchmaking

Matchmaking is not only the unexpected arrival of the groom, accompanied by relatives, to the bride's house in order to woo in an allegorical form (to show oneself and see the goods). Matchmaking was the starting point from which the rebirth of the main participants in the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom, literally began. From the very moment of wooing, a restriction on movement was imposed on the bride (conspiracy), her living space was sharply narrowed to the limits of the parental home. If the girl did go out, it was only accompanied by her friends and, in fact, only to invite guests to the wedding. The bride was also removed from all household chores, became incapacitated. This is how the gradual “dehumanization” took place, which is necessary for the birth of a new person, already a family one.

Smotriny

Two or three days after the matchmaking, the groom and his close relatives again come to the bride’s house, now to the bride, during which the girl must show herself in all her glory and demonstrate all her skills and abilities, just like the groom who flaunts in front of by all those gathered. After that, the groom's mother closely examines and evaluates the bride's dowry. Everything that happens is necessarily accompanied by songs and lamentations, most often performed by the bridesmaids. However, the girl could refuse to marry without going out to the groom.

handshake

Shortly before the scheduled day of the wedding, a handshake or a binge took place, an event that finally sealed the agreement on the wedding. After the handshake, the refusal of the wedding was impossible. The bride and groom were seated side by side at the table and praised in songs that were sung by the bridesmaids.

And what do the bride and groom themselves do? The bride does not talk, but laments, and in some houses she even calls the wrecker, which “howls”, that is, she performs the laments, and the bride groans and cries. And, despite the visible activity of the groom, his constant movements (he comes to the bride’s house almost every day after the handshake for “visiting”, “kissing”, “seeing”), he nevertheless remains passive: the matchmakers speak and do everything for him, relatives, friends.

hen-party

Has this rite disappeared too? The fact is that a bachelorette party in Rus' is not only a farewell gathering of the bride with her friends on the eve of the wedding, but also the production of “beauty” (“will”), braiding, washing the bride in a bath, destroying or transferring “beauty” to a friend or groom. Girlish "beauty" is the last thing that connects the bride with her girlhood. It could be a tow, a tree decorated with ribbons and patches, a wreath, a scarf. After the “beauty” was made, it was burned or the bride distributed it to close friends. Whatever the object symbolizing “beauty”, it is invariably associated with the head, or rather with hair, and hair is a kind of personification of girlish beauty, will. With the destruction or distribution of "beauty", the girl allegorically lost her girlhood.

Also, the bride could cut off her braid and pass it to the groom. And the ritual bathing in the bathhouse finally completed the process: the bride became: “neither alive nor dead”, and in this state she was handed over to the groom, arranged by bargaining, and the bride and her friends resisted with all their might.

Young woman's hairstyle

Immediately after the wedding, the bride was given a haircut by a young woman: they braided two braids and covered her head with a scarf, or immediately “twisted it like a woman”: the hair braided in two braids was twisted at the back of the head into a bun, and a married woman’s headdress was put on top (povoynik, glasses, basting) . From that moment on, only the husband could see the bride's hair: appearing with an uncovered head to an outsider was tantamount to treason, and tearing off a woman's headdress was an insult. A change in hairstyle means the girl’s transition to the power of her husband, and also represents the formation of a new image of a person, his rebirth in a new status. The girl begins to “come to life”: the ability to move independently returns to her, as well as the ability to do everything with her own hands: the bride, entering the house, begins to actively explore its space, throws rye, puts down a cow, throws a belt, etc.

"The Revealing of the Bride"

A special ceremony was dedicated to the "revealing" of the bride, when the young came from under the crown to the groom's house. This ceremony was endowed with a double meaning: for the bride, it meant the return of vision; the bride, continuing to revive, now looked at everything with different eyes, and for the groom it was a kind of recognition of her beloved, since she was now different. In some details of the ceremony, an erotic meaning is read when the bride is “opened”: the father-in-law or boyfriend lifts the hem with a whip, tong, pie or stick. Or they put a pie without filling on the bride’s head, symbolizing a child, and wrapped it in a scarf, put it in a closet, where the young people, separately from everyone, first ate, and then saw off wedding night. In some areas, it was customary to arrange a bed for newlyweds in a cage or barn, which is associated with the idea of ​​​​fertility, childbearing.

"Bends"

"Take offs" (joint visit of the young by the bride's parents) marks the end of the wedding as a special state for all its participants. This element of the wedding ceremony is especially important for the bride, who arrives for a short time and as a guest, which emphasizes the irreversibility of all the transformations that happened to her during the wedding. However, there are other data about the connection of the bride with her home. For example, in the Voronezh province, during the first year of marriage, a young woman lived with her mother and was engaged in spinning for her future needs.

When we get married, we all want to celebrate this event so that it will be remembered for a lifetime. Today, interest in the traditional wedding ceremony has noticeably increased. On this solemn day, people try to observe all the wedding traditions that are passed down from generation to generation.

The ancient name of the wedding "svyatba" means binding (svyatba). Svyats (matchmakers) performed a rite of binding, after which it was possible for a woman and a man from different clans to cohabit together. In the future, the rite of binding began to be accompanied by various wedding rites. The Russian wedding ceremony appeared in the 18-19th century; it is one of the most important family rituals, consisting of a huge number of elements. Among them are ceremonial songs, eulogies, obligatory ceremonial actions of the bride, boyfriends and other participants.

wedding ceremonies were a symbol of the transition of a girl from the paternal clan to the male gender, under the protection of the spirits of the male gender. This transition was regarded as death in its kind and birth in the husband's family. For example, one of the wedding ceremonies, vytiye (ritual lamentation) is compared with lamentations for the deceased. At a bachelorette party, going to the bath is compared to washing the deceased. When the bride is taken to church by the arms, this is a symbol of lifelessness, lack of strength, and the young wife leaves the church herself. The tradition of carrying the bride into the groom's house in her arms aims to deceive the brownie so that he accepts the girl as a newborn who appeared in the house, and did not enter it.

The Russian wedding ceremony varies in different regions of Russia. For example, in the north, the rite is accompanied only by lamentations, and in the south it consists entirely of cheerful songs, where lamentations play a more formal role. Some regional traditions have pre-Christian origins, as well as elements of magic. The wedding ceremony is presented as a strictly organized system.

Despite some differences, the general order of the wedding ceremony remains unchanged and includes the following elements.

Matchmaking.
Matchmaking is a wedding ceremony that involves the groom's proposal of marriage to his beloved in the presence of her parents. In this ceremony, as a rule, the future groom himself participates. However, he can also send matchmakers to the parents of the future bride. Most often, the groom's parents, close relatives, and godparents act as matchmakers. The exception is friends, they may be present at the matchmaking in rare cases. Before the actual matchmaking, the parents of the bride and groom previously agreed on this.

Entering the parental home of the bride, the matchmaker performed certain ritual actions. For example, in the Simbirsk province, the matchmaker had to sit under the mother, and in the Vologda province - to rattle the stove damper, etc. It so happened that the matchmaker could speak about the purpose of his visit in a certain ritual language, and the bride's parents answered him in the same manner. This was explained by the need to protect the wedding ceremony from the effects of evil spirits. By tradition, the parents of the bride are obliged to refuse the matchmaker for the first time, even if they are approved, but the matchmaker in this case is obliged to persuade them. After the ceremony of courtship, the parents of the future bride gave an answer. As a rule, the desire of the girl was not taken into account. Her consent was only a formality. In rare cases, matchmaking took place without a girl at all.

For the matchmaking, the future groom must wear a suit, and also bring two bouquets of flowers with him. He should give one of them to the girl's mother (future mother-in-law), and the second - to his future bride. The groom confesses to the girl's parents his love for her and asks them for her hand. In case of parental consent, the bride's father puts his daughter's right hand into the groom's.

Nowadays, as a rule, matchmaking is combined with some kind of family holiday or weekends. Natural chores around the table allow future relatives to get to know each other better. In the case when the groom's parents for some reason were absent from the matchmaking, the future newlyweds should visit them, where the son will introduce his beloved to his parents, and she gives flowers to the future mother-in-law. After the matchmaking, the young people set the date of the engagement and its announcement.

Smotriny.
Brides are also an obligatory part of the wedding ceremony, in which the groom, his parents, matchmakers evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of the future wife. As a rule, the bride-to-be was held before the handshake, after the matchmaking. In addition, the bride-to-be also implies an inspection by the girl's parents of the groom's household, while a special place was occupied by the presence of livestock, bread, dishes and clothes. If something did not suit the parents, they could refuse the groom. Otherwise, the bride's parents set the date of public matchmaking - rubbing.

During the rite of handshaking, they finally agreed on the wedding (date, expenses, number of gifts, masonry (a form of financial support for the bride from the groom's relatives), dowry, etc.). As a rule, hand-beating was carried out after 2-3 days after the matchmaking. During handshaking, wedding ranks were also distributed. The result of the handshaking was the beating of each other's hands (while wearing canvas mittens) by the fathers of the bride and groom. This custom symbolized the obligatory fulfillment of the agreement reached. The rite of hand-beating testified that the bride was betrothed; in this case, only an exceptional case (for example, the escape of the bride) could cancel the wedding.

Later, the rites of handshaking and courtship joined the bride.

Vytiye.
Vytiye meant ritual crying, which was carried out on the side of the bride. Vyti symbolized the farewell of the bride to her parents and friends. The bride's head was covered with the likeness of a veil so that she could not see anything and accompanied her. As the girl was released, she fell.

Hen-party.
The bachelorette party was carried out, as a rule, before the wedding or on the days from the handshake to the wedding. At the bride's bachelorette party, her friends gathered and, to the wedding songs, helped her sew gifts for the groom and his relatives. The bride at this time had to "cry, howl, wail." This meant farewell to girlish life, the expectation of hard work after marriage.

Another important moment at the bachelorette party was the untwisting of the girl's braid, which was carried out by the bridesmaids. It meant the end of the girl's former life.

Others no less important element wedding ceremony was the ritual bathing of the bride in the bath. As a rule, this was done on the eve of the wedding or in the morning on the wedding day. The bride went to the bathhouse with her bridesmaids, while special songs and parables were sung, and sometimes some ritual actions were performed that had magical power. For example, in the Vologda region, it was customary for a bride to go to a bathhouse with a healer, who collected her sweat in a special vial, and at the wedding poured it into the groom's alcohol.

Nowadays, it is still customary to celebrate a bachelorette party, they only do it at home or in cozy cafes with girlfriends. But there may be other options for holding a bachelorette party, it all depends on the imagination of the bridesmaids.

Dowry.
The bride had to prepare a large dowry for the wedding. Her friends helped her with this. The period of preparation of the dowry was called a week. The dowry mainly included things made by the bride with her own hands: a bed (featherbed, pillow, blanket) and gifts to the groom and relatives: shirts, scarves, belts, patterned towels.

First wedding day.
The first day of the wedding is characterized by the arrival of the groom, a trip to the crown, the transfer of dowry, the arrival of the young at the groom's house, a blessing, a wedding feast.

Druzhka.
Druzhka (or Druzhko) has always been the most important participant and leader of the wedding ceremony. Most often, it is the friend who, according to ritual custom, is scolded, and he must adequately respond to such jokes in his direction. On the solemn day, the groom practically does not say any ritual words. Brother acts as a friend or close friend groom. His distinctive feature was an embroidered towel tied over the shoulder. In the traditions of some regions, two or even three friends could be present, but one of them will still be the main one.

Groom's arrival.
According to the traditions of some regions, on the morning of the wedding day, the bridegroom visits the bride's house to find out if the bride is ready for the arrival of the groom. The bride for the visit of the boyfriend should already be in wedding clothes and sit in the red corner. The wedding "train" included the groom with his boyfriend, friends and relatives (trainers). As the wedding train moved, special “train” songs were sung.

Ransom.
After the arrival of the groom, another wedding ceremony took place - a ransom. To get to the bride, the groom must pay a ransom for the gate, door, etc. When conducting this rite great attention is paid to magical actions, for example, sweeping the road in order to protect the young from damage that can be directed at an object thrown under their feet, a stone, etc. IN different traditions the road to be swept is different. The ransom of the bride has been preserved to this day. It is allowed to redeem the bride from bridesmaids and from parents. It so happened that the groom was deceived, bringing the bride to him with her face covered. Instead of a real bride, another girl was taken out, or even old woman. In such a situation, the groom had to redeem the bride again, or look for her.

Wedding.
Before the bride and groom left for the church, the bride's parents blessed them with an icon and bread. Before the wedding ceremony, the bride’s braid was untwisted, and after it, two “woman’s” braids were braided to her, while carefully covering her hair with a headdress (warrior). Sometimes this was done at a wedding celebration, and among the Old Believers - between the betrothal and the wedding, or before the betrothal.

Arrival at the groom's house.
After the wedding, the bride is taken to the groom's house, where his parents bless their union. In many traditions, upon arrival, the bride and groom were put on a fur coat, which was a talisman. Bread was an obligatory element of the rite of blessing. As a rule, bread was next to the icon. In many traditions, both the bride and groom must bite off the bread.

Wedding feast.
As a rule, the wedding was celebrated over food with jokes and songs. According to tradition, the bride's parents should not be present at the wedding table on the first day, so there was such a custom to "call the proud." This task was entrusted to disguised guests by the husband and wife. In a noisy crowd they came to the house of the bride's parents and invited them for wedding table. After the sacrament of the wedding, the bride's lamentations end, and the joyful and cheerful part of the ceremony begins. After that, the newlyweds go to the bride's house for gifts, after which they go to the groom's house, where everything is ready for the wedding feast. The wedding feast is accompanied by majestic songs for the groom, bride, parents and boyfriend all the time. The second day is celebrated in the house of the bride's parents. If the feast lasts three days, then the third day is again celebrated in the groom's house.

"Laying down" and "waking" the young.
“The laying down of the young” was carried out by the matchmaker, or the bed was preparing the marriage bed, for which the groom had to give a ransom. In the morning, the matchmaker, mother-in-law or boyfriend “woken up” the young. As a rule, after the “waking up”, the guests were shown a sheet or shirt of the bride with blood stains, which testified to her honor. According to other customs, the “honor” of the bride was demonstrated by the groom, eating from the middle or from the edge of a scrambled egg, pancake or pie. If the bride turned out to be not a virgin, her parents were ridiculed, they could cover the gate with tar, etc.

Second day of the wedding.
The most common rite on the second day of the wedding is the search for the bride "search for the yar". The essence of this ceremony is that the bride (yarochka) is hiding somewhere in the house, and the groom (shepherd) or his relatives are looking for her.

Since ancient times, a special place has been assigned to a wedding in the life of every nation, so such an event was accompanied by many signs, customs and superstitions. Today, echoes of these traditions also exist, but for the most part in a modified version. Based on the old canons, new ones appear, adjusted to modern realities. WITH wedding customs, traditions, rituals make modern weddings are generalized, with a touch of ancient roots.

essence

Order of conduct wedding ceremony in each culture, it took shape over the centuries, and its structure was influenced for the most part by faith and signs. Each country has identified basic principles for marriage, which all newlyweds strictly adhered to. No one even had the thought of abolishing or changing this or that tradition.

In ancient times, all weddings followed the same scenario. After the bride and groom announced their engagement, each of their relatives and acquaintances was assigned a special role, often even completely strangers assisted in absentia with the organization of marriage. The young people knew exactly what and when they needed to say or do, so there was no unnecessary fuss and confusion at the holiday.

Modern weddings cannot boast of this, since most of the traditions have already been forgotten. Each celebration takes place according to its own plan. This is by no means bad, because the bride and groom can make their own holiday unique and memorable, emphasizing their own individuality and style.

Some old traditions are still observed as a kind of tribute to the ancestors. However, such rituals are just a formality, they do not put any particular meaning into them, but they are performed because it is customary. In other cases, customs apply if the celebration is organized in accordance with some style, and a special atmosphere needs to be emphasized.

Current interpretations

Few people realize that every stage of the wedding celebration, which is held in the vast majority of cases, is a tradition. Together, several of these customs determine the structure of the entire celebration. Consider the most popular modern wedding traditions.

Program wedding day usually begins with the ransom of the bride. This stage takes 20-30 minutes, during which time the groom must prove that he is worthy of the hand and heart of his beloved. Girlfriends and relatives from the bride's side arrange trials for the young man and ask tricky questions and sometimes simply demand a ransom for beautiful girl. This tradition has been around for a long time different countries Oh. Previously, girls were generally hidden, and the groom could get the hand of his beloved only for a significant amount that migrated to the pocket of the future father-in-law. very popular and funny contest "Chamomile" for the ransom of the bride.

A wedding ceremony is a particularly reverent wedding tradition. Previously, it was this rite that was considered directly a marriage, but documentary evidence of the creation of a family was gradually introduced. During the wedding, the bride and groom unite their souls in the eyes of God, so the union becomes indestructible. If a couple separates for some reason, then both take the sin upon themselves. Now this tradition is optional - only believers get married, and an official painting in the registry office is considered a wedding.

Since ancient times, in all cultures, the groom's family had to bless the newlyweds after official ceremony. This was done in different ways, at modern weddings, for example, the father-in-law and mother-in-law bless the spouses with bread and salt on a towel. This ceremony is performed by the groom's family, since in most cases it is in her house that young people have to live if they do not have their own housing.

In Rus', on the day of the wedding, the girlfriends untwist the bride's braid as a sign of her new status. After the official wedding, the girl was already braiding two braids, as married woman. Modern wedding traditions and customs do not impose any requirements on everyday hairstyles. So the tradition has changed a bit.

Important! According to legend, unmarried girls should not wear a bride's veil, otherwise their wedding will not take place soon.

At the banquet, after the official painting, the hero of the occasion is seated on a chair with a soft pillow, after which the mother-in-law takes off her veil and ties a beautifully embroidered scarf. Then, if desired, the girl can dance with unmarried guests in turn, passing a veil over their heads to attract a quick marriage.

During the celebration of the marriage, guests may try to steal the bride. This is done in a completely unobtrusive way, for example, one of her friends invites the hero of the occasion to get some fresh air. A ransom is again demanded from the groom, now not just for the lady of the heart, but for the official wife.

This custom dates back to the days of serfdom. Previously, if a bonded girl was about to get married, the master of her lands had the right to the wedding night. It is clear that most of the suitors opposed such an opportunity, so the servants of the master stole the bride by force. If the young man was wealthy, then he could redeem his beloved. When serfdom was abolished, the tradition was quickly turned from scary to fun.

At the end of the celebration is lit family hearth as a sign of bringing prosperity to the house of newly-made spouses. To do this, the parents of the bride and groom bring fire from their homes, and in a modern interpretation - a decorative candle. It is believed that it is during this ceremony that the unity of three families takes place.

Famous and little known

Modern wedding ceremonies come to replace the old ones, but everyone has heard about some of the innovations, and few know about others. This is due to the fact that wedding fashion is constantly changing, and customs from other cultures are often woven into the order of the celebration. Some of them take root, others do not, so it is impossible to keep track of all.

Popular modern traditions the following can be noted.

Another little-known tradition says that only the girl who marries for the first time can wear a veil. Previously, this custom was relevant, since the veil was considered a symbol of the bride's innocence, and if she was already married, then such a wardrobe item turned out to be superfluous.

Not at every wedding you can meet the ceremony of tying two bottles of champagne. This tradition is modern and relatively new, so it has not yet had time to disperse to all celebrations. Witnesses bandage two bottles and give them to the newlyweds. They should open one of them on the first wedding anniversary, and the second on the birthday of the first child. The study of modern wedding traditions allows you to make weddings more touching and memorable.

Mandatory and optional

In fact, any tradition modern wedding considered optional. The bride and groom, unlike their ancestors, are free to organize their holiday as they see fit.

Only a solemn kiss can be called obligatory, which the newlyweds exchange after they have agreed to the marriage. So they consolidate their union under the approving exclamations of friends and relatives.

Another obligatory custom is the exchange wedding rings. When a young man proposes to his beloved, he gives an engagement jewelry. The girl puts it on ring finger right hand and wears until the wedding. During the painting, the ring is replaced by a wedding ring, and the same adorns the groom's finger. This custom originated before our era, and is still strictly observed.

Among the optional traditions to observe, the following can be noted.

Summary

There are many wedding traditions from around the world, but this does not mean that all rituals and signs are mandatory. Modern newlyweds have freedom of choice and enough knowledge about modern wedding traditions and what they mean, so it’s up to them to decide how their first joint celebration will take place. In any case, guests will support all undertakings, so you should follow your own preferences.