Let's find out what kind of child you were. How to get children to talk: open questions. What can the baby do?

The question remains open: does the child choose toys based on his own, as yet hidden, preferences or do these preferences arise precisely because toys of this particular type are most often bought for him.

Psychologists generally give an affirmative answer to both options. From their point of view, a person forms an idea of the world around him and his place in it quite early: by the age of five or six, his worldview is already actually formed. This is called the term "imprinting". It is thanks to imprinting that most people are so conservative. That's how it goes.

The newborn is born as a perfect alien and trustingly accepts the conditions new game. “Oh, that’s how interesting everything is arranged here! The dog says “aw-aw”, the kitty says “meow-meow”, and dad says “Give me poison and five minutes of peace.” White pillows float across the sky, fir trees grow in the forest and bears live, the janitor Uncle Petya smells funny, and girls need to be hit on the head with a shovel because they are fools and sneaks.” Five or six years of knowledge about the world flows into our heads in a wide stream, after which we say: “Okay, that’s enough, I understand all your strange rules, now let’s play for real!” From now on, all new ideas will hardly be integrated into a strong system of basic, imprinting knowledge. The role that children's toys play in this basic knowledge is enormous. It is them that children use as models to check incoming information. By riding a bunny on a train or shooting fire-breathing wet-branchs with a laser slingshot, the child creates scenarios for his actions in any possible future situation. So all this colorful trash with broken legs in his room is a huge laboratory in which the child constructs his biography.

Theoretically (keep in mind, we make no guarantees!) you can influence this process by purchasing for your child those toys that will lead him in the direction you want. To make the direction clear, we drew arrows from each toy in the direction of what your child can become if he is interested in this particular thing. Note that we showed humanity: in general, we have several positive options for the development of events, but only one unpleasant verdict.

Typewriter

The love for everything that is on wheels and can quickly do “whip-whack” appears for a reason. This is a response to the internal protest that the child experiences due to the need to exist in such a pitiful, slow and clumsy body. This body doesn’t know how to fly, it needs to either poop or pee, and if it crashes into a wall from a running start, it will cry for a long time. Plus, it's so small, and all the adults around are healthy and cool. The news that we can improve our stunted bodies with the help of machines delights the child: from now on he can crawl on the floor for hours, rolling a dump truck the size of a rat in front of him and making the sounds of a roaring engine (very similar). Famous American child psychologist John Holt advises parents of young car enthusiasts pay more attention to children's sports. This “physical inferiority complex,” if the cars themselves cannot cope with it, can lead to a number of psychological problems in adulthood. For example, to a manic desire to pump up a mountain of muscles or pump up your virtual super double to level 80. By the way, love for cars since childhood is purely male. Girls are much calmer about toy cars, because most of them are not too worried about the lack of their own power, but calmly sit on their dad’s arms and show with their fingers what needs to be done, who to get out of the closet and what kind of bullshit to drive away.

Weapon

It doesn’t matter if it’s a sword made from a mop, a bow made from birch, or a real flamethrower made from the best Chinese plastic. In any case, this is a magic wand for instantly eliminating problems. Nervous mothers love to tell on TV how stupid it is to give children weapons, even toy ones, and develop aggression in innocent little ones. You can calm them down: Aggressive children don't need guns. Aggressive children they fight with their fists and the first objects that come to hand, not imagining that the stool in their hand is a flaming magical Excalibur. Most of all, toy weapons are loved by children who are not aggressive, but who have a rich imagination, which instantly transports them from the nursery to distant planets, to criminal areas or to the bloody past, where they play in the struggle for survival. Like cars, pistols and machine guns indicate that the child is not very sure that he would win such a fight if it really happened. In the future, he will not get involved in problems, but will be happy to watch them from the sidelines, discussing how all this could be wonderfully solved.

Toy soldiers

Watching how your son arranges his thousands of regiments (from the epic warriors on the right flank to the “Death’s Head” division in the rearguard, next to the Indians), do not rush to proudly think that your future Suvorov is growing up. Most likely, you have a future accountant in your life. To shoot this entire horde in a minute from a plastic cannon, it takes an hour to arrange it. But that's the beauty of it. The tendency to systematize facts, to collect and collect, to distinguish objects by the smallest details and combine them into groups according to various characteristics speaks of a consistent mind, striving to accumulate information. These qualities are also useful in science, but they are especially in demand in law, statistics, financial management, etc. However, keep in mind that without sufficient motivation (for example, in the form of a bunch of parental money spent on his education), such a systematizer is quite can be satisfied with a career as a caster of serial blanks in some mossy factory. If only they turned out so delightfully neat.

Doll

This is one of the most complex, important and even somewhat dangerous toys for a child. Boys usually rarely like to play with them, especially because from infancy they are taught: this thing is only for girls, and it is a shame for a man to tinker with dolls. However, if your son is frozen in admiration in front of a stand with Barbies or dolls, do not rush to run for valerian.

“It is mistakenly believed that girls who play with dolls are driven by maternal instinct,” writes Violet Oaklander, a child psychology researcher and author of the book “Windows on the Child’s World.” “A girl talking to a doll is primarily engaged in introspection, research into her essence and the nature of man in general.” A doll is a model of a person, including the child himself. And that is why girl dolls are of less interest to boys due to their obvious gender non-identity.

But the boy carries out similar psychological manipulations with soldiers, brave astronauts and brave cowboys. Therefore, it is very desirable that he have male dolls of not the smallest size in his children’s room. By bringing a doll to life and endowing it with a part of consciousness, the child, in addition, learns the most important function of our species - communication with his own kind, contact and transfer of information from person to person. “It is by communicating with the doll that the child formulates norms of behavior, emotional assessments, and his first general ethical theses,” continues Aucklander. “A doll is an all-seeing and all-hearing, all-understanding object, which at the same time is completely submissive to its owner.” To put it simply, a doll for a child is a god, a slave, a friend, and at the same time it is his own reflection. Unlike a living person - a brother, friend or parent, she does not have her own will, which makes her an indispensable object for all kinds of psychological training.

By the way, some of the functions of dolls can be performed by pets, especially dogs, which, despite their non-human appearance, have sufficient intelligence to become a suitable, willing interlocutor.

Teddy bear

Or a bunny, a dog, a horse - it doesn’t matter. First, children who prefer an animal rather than a human model as a confidant and at the same time do not like dolls demonstrate a fairly developed sense of species self-identification. They are suspicious and even hostile towards everything that looks like a person, but is not a person. This important mechanism is built into most living beings by nature in order to regulate sexual contacts with similar, but unsuitable for reproduction, species. Object, by external signs similar to “one of our own”, but having a number of “alien” characteristics, causes rejection, fear or disgust. By the way, this indicates a healthy desire to continue the family line. Such children are often embarrassed to look at monkeys and are disgusted by clowns, are afraid of people with physical disabilities or people of other races. Dolls seem to them like an unpleasant parody of humans, so they avoid playing with them. Secondly, an important feature of toy (and live) animals is their softness and fluffiness, which are very important for children who, for whatever reason, often experience fear. We perceive the touch of something soft as soothing and protective, transporting us to distant primitive infancy, when we escaped danger by tightly clinging to the luxurious manes or fur of our mothers.

Constructor

Don’t rush to buy literature about young geniuses, having looked at the Notre Dame assembled from Lego and the working Ferrari, screwed together from those creepy iron plates with holes that you yourself, as a child, only used to shoot from a slingshot at pigeons that had the imprudence to fly past yours. window. Most child geniuses would be very skeptical about the prospect of sitting for half a day screwing part A into hole B according to the instructions. It’s not for nothing that construction sets are the favorite toy of autistic children. who are most delighted when five circles make a pyramid, but who are capable of falling into hysterics if someone slips a circle of the wrong diameter into it and spoils the entire logical and only correct composition. The pleasure that everything goes according to plan, satisfaction from the expected results of painstaking work is characteristic of conservative children, who can show themselves brilliantly in those professions where composure, accuracy, meticulousness and strict adherence to protocol are important. A child with pronounced creative abilities would rather put together an ugly tower from multi-colored cubes, cover it with ketchup, wall up a cat in it and try to set fire to the whole structure in order to send it to the moon.

Non-toys

At two years old, when the concept of private property is still inaccessible to the child, he plays with anything. The most important thing for him in a subject is novelty and unusualness. But already at three years old, the child learns the concepts of “mine” and “someone else’s” and begins to consider his toys as a legitimate part of himself. He prefers to play with them and raids other people's possessions only if there is something terribly interesting there - like dad's new laptop, which will probably float perfectly in the bathtub if you pour a lot of shampoo into it. But some children, to the despair of their parents, continue to reject toys, entertaining themselves with the help of household items. Having fainted for the hundredth time at the sight of flour scattered on the floor with a beautiful pattern of mother’s birth control pills laid out on it, parents usually drag the baby to an appointment with a psychotherapist, who explains why this happens: from a deep distrust of others. The child suspects that he, being small and weak, is being given rubbish (hand on heart, this little skeptic is right in some ways), and the parents, of course, keep the coolest things for themselves. On the one hand, such a denial of property can make a child a future fighter for freedom and fraternity throughout the world. But it is also possible that a pathological kleptomaniac will grow up. So invite guests to your child more often, so that when he sees how aliens capture his airplanes and wind-up frogs, he understands their value.

Paints, pencils, plasticine and clay

There may not be bread or whole shoes in the house, but it is advisable that it have the things listed above. Not because you want to raise a Picasso or Michelangelo, but because creative abilities will be useful to a child in absolutely any field. The ability to create images and objects from scratch, practically from nothing, is laid in very early childhood. It is very important not to tease the baby for the terrible things he makes, not to teach him to draw houses “correctly”, not to let him paint coloring books in which everything has already been invented and drawn for him by specially trained adults. Until he is five or six years old, you can purposefully not show him paintings by other artists at all, not teach even the basics of technology, because he will always have time to become an imitator and copyist, and in children's creativity much more important is absolute freedom of expression. If a child talks while drawing; if he accompanies the damage to the paper with reasoning like “And then our people fly up - tra-ta-ta! Bang! Killed and falls,” then everything goes right, fantasy arises, images replace each other, the young demiurge creates imaginary worlds. Even if these worlds end in big brown scribbles all over the page, refrain from making critical comments. You just don’t see what kind of boiling life is happening there, inside, under all these blots and squiggles.

Find out what your baby will be like!

1. parents are friends for the baby, he will grow up to be a kind person
2. give the child a lot emotionally, do everything best for him
3. easy to communicate with children, develop the child’s quick thinking and quick wits
4. easily find emotional contact with a child and take raising children seriously
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5. love the baby immensely, receiving love in return from the baby, but do not pay enough attention to his inner world
6. Mom expresses her feelings more by doing things; dad can be entrusted with changing diapers, doing algebra, physical development- he can handle it
7. children will respect dad in every possible way; a mother is more like a friend to her child
8. They want to constantly keep children under their control, but they are insanely attached to the baby and demonstrate strictness more for the sake of order.
9. Mom is more attentive to the child, but when the baby grows up, they will have a strong friendship with dad.
10. take the problem of raising the younger generation very seriously, which can cause a child to feel unfree
11. will try to instill in the child a breadth of views and interests, to develop both logical and creative thinking
12. love children very much, feel they are an extension of themselves
13. complete understanding with the child
14. Different temperaments of mom and dad can negatively affect the baby, but he will grow up with a strong character
15. Mom and dad have common views on raising a child, their child receives maximum attention and love from the parents
16. Both want to be the head of the family, someone needs to give in for the sake of the child’s well-being
17. don’t be stubborn, and everything will be fine; if parents find mutual language, they will be able to give the baby a happy childhood
18. strong relationships have a very good effect on the inner world of children
19. For the sake of preserving the family, it is worth calming down your ardor, because frequent quarrels the baby may withdraw into himself
20. Lack of mutual understanding can be a serious reason to change something; for the good of the family you will have to give in
21. Mom and dad are excellent friends and reliable support for the child; in such a family children are raised with optimistic outlooks on life
22. Parents can get bored of each other, don’t let petty quarrels destroy the child’s psyche
23. warm relationships in the family, the child will grow up in love and understanding. Both are great parents!
24. complete mutual understanding is exactly what a small child needs
25. Many insults and omissions from parents can cause resentment in the child, he can withdraw into himself
26. A gorgeous couple is an excellent example for a child to follow; in the future it will be easy for him to find a common language with people
27. You won’t feel very good together, but try to concentrate your attention on the baby, so that he doesn’t feel the lack of attention.
28. tender relationship and joy in communicating with a child
29. strong attraction both to each other and to the baby
30. learn to listen to your child
31. strong love and understanding in the family, excellent parents!
32. lots of adventure and joy, children will not be bored with you
33. Uncomfortable relationships can cause divorce, it’s better to tolerate each other until the child grows up
34. a lot of worries both because of the relationship with the baby and yours
35. excellent mutual understanding, an atmosphere of happiness has a very good effect on the child and helps in education
36. warm and tender feelings will make your child a romantic, it is very easy for you to find a common language with him
37. understand little about their child
38. A strong parental union promotes good development child, he feels “like behind a stone wall”
39. having little in common leads to boredom in relationships, but if you learn to overcome difficulties, children will grow up fully developed
40. there is a desire for each other, use this to educate your child
41. Resentments and misunderstandings have a very bad effect on the family; children are very susceptible to insults not only towards themselves, but also between parents
42. you can give many happy days to your baby
43. Your offspring will be comfortable growing up in such a strong family
44. there is little good in a relationship, do not show your big quarrels to your child - this may cause him to become withdrawn
45. a successful union no matter what, instill in children a sense of love from an early age
46. Arguments have a bad effect on the baby, try to restrain yourself for the sake of well-being in the family
47. happy relationship, they will do everything for the children. Beware of too much attention from the little one
48. many difficulties, little romance, but despite this you can become exemplary parents
49. It’s bad together, uncertainty and nervousness - your quarrels are detrimental to the child, be careful
50. The relationship is short-lived, so you shouldn’t think about children, but if you are ready to give in to each other, then the children will grow up to be strong individuals
51. Complete mutual understanding is what your child needs. Know that he grows in love
52. Your children may be bored with you, to save a good relationship with them - try to pay more attention to their creative development
53. such a union knows how to overcome difficulties in raising children
54. Considerable efforts will have to be made for the well-being of the child
55. Your attitude towards children - you couldn’t ask for anything better! Parenting is very easy for a couple like yours.
56. Reluctance to understand each other can be the reason for frequent quarrels with children
57. stormy and passionate love affair
58. warm, good relationships in the family - your children will not be deprived of attention and will grow up to be very sensitive and responsive
59. A very passionate union will interfere with the child’s upbringing; he may lose your attention and grow up withdrawn into himself
60. if you wish, you can achieve a wonderful relationship with your child; such parents know what their children need
61. mom and dad are connected strong friendship, the baby will not feel a lack of attention in such a family
62. give your child the opportunity to express himself
63. You can safely trust each other - parents like you can teach your children a lot
64. try to spend more time with your kids, without your care they will feel lonely
65. Friendship and love in such a family are perfectly balanced, your educational qualities can only be envied
66. Parents are very different, try not to let your arguments have a bad influence on your child.
67. In such a family, children feel forgotten, you will have to make a lot of efforts to prove the opposite! Give your students more attention
68. If the fish obey, then the baby is guaranteed a happy childhood! Scorpio dad knows his stuff
69. you know how to develop children spiritually
70. if Capricorn is not a bore, then everything will be fine
71. look for more common interests with your child
72. Same tastes and similar characters will help you find a common point of view in raising your child.
73. Such a union rarely manages to make a child happy, but I advise you to prove the opposite)
74. common interests and spiritual closeness of such a couple contribute to the comprehensive development of your capricious ones
75. if parents learn to give in to each other, children will grow up kind and sympathetic
76. The indifference of these signs to each other will lead the child to a dead end, make efforts for the well-being of the family
77. creative parents will give their child a fun and bright childhood
78. Children are bored with you, try to diversify their upbringing

Probably, many parents may find the following dialogues familiar:

– How was your day at school?
- As usual.
– What did you have for lunch today?
- I do not remember.
- What do you think about the film?
- Fine.

Parents ask questions - children shrug their shoulders. Parents are worried that they won’t be able to get an extra word out of their children, and they are sincerely perplexed why adults are worried about lunch during the big break, and answer reluctantly, but they can eagerly talk about the level of a computer game they completed yesterday.

At such moments, it seems that children are not ready for our curiosity and attention. On the one hand, it may be that the time is not suitable for asking questions: after a day spent in kindergarten and school, children are tired, want to change the topic of conversation and switch to another activity. But there is another explanation: we often choose closed questions to communicate with children and formulate our interest in such a way that the answers can only be monosyllabic:

Did you eat well today?
Have you given many lessons?
Have you prepared for the test?
How are you doing?

Such questions usually yield predictable answers of “yes,” “no,” or “ok.” But parents, of course, want to be aware of what their children are doing outside the home, what they dream about, what they want to learn, who they like to be friends with, what problems they have in communicating with peers. Open-ended questions with long-form answers can encourage children to think, especially if they are phrased in a way that makes them interesting to answer. For example, about a day at school or kindergarten you can ask like this:

What was the most fun game you played today?
What toys did you play with today? Do they have names?
What materials did you use in your craft and drawing lessons today?
I had such a busy day at work today, what was interesting for you?
Let me try to guess what three things you did today?

Children learn from questions, so preschool age they are asked so often. But they love answering questions no less. Whether it’s a test: “Which color do you like best: red, blue or green?”, or an imagination question: “What would you take with you to a desert island?” At the same time, children feel well when questions are asked with sincere interest, and when adults simply want to find out the secret or, even worse, hear the answer and give a lecture on how one really needs to think.

It’s good when conversations are a tradition started in the family with early childhood. When discussions take place at the dinner table and on walks, under the blanket before bed or while traveling on public transport, while baking a pie or assembling a construction set together. All these situations are a great opportunity to get to know each other better in casual conversations.

An adult who listens carefully to a child and is not distracted by extraneous matters gives him a message: your thoughts are interesting, and your opinion is important to me. You can trust such an adult with secrets and share painful things with him, dream out loud and joke about any topic. Even the youngest children are happy to answer questions that allow them to imagine:

If you had wings, where would you fly?
What fairy-tale hero would you like to become and why?
What do you think is behind the stars?

Kids are interested in everything in the world, but they themselves can be asked about the nature of things, which they do not yet understand, because they like to put forward their own versions of the structure of the world:

Why do you think the ball doesn't sink in water?
Why do leaves change color in autumn?
How could you draw noise? And the voice? What about joy?

Older children have even more fun inventing magical options answers to questions:

If you could have any pet, even the most unusual one, which one would you choose?
If you caught goldfish, what three wishes would you ask her to grant?
What would you do if you became an invisible man for one day?
What would you do with your huge lottery winnings?

Parents usually know what fears and worries their children have. But it happens that a child does not show his worries and experiences them alone. To talk through existing problems and understand how your child copes with them, you can ask:

What do you think, if a baby is afraid of the dark, or of a dog, or something else, how can he calm himself down and cheer himself up?
What angers you the most?
What do you think are the most unpleasant things friends can do?

Open-ended questions encourage children to think and reason, analyze and come to conclusions. With their help, you can also talk about problems in parent-child relationships, but it is important to choose the right moment for a confidential conversation. In an acute situation, for example, at the peak of a quarrel, children and adults act on emotions and often speak in a raised tone. But when the warlike fervor subsides, you can talk in a calm atmosphere and try to hear each other:

Which of my words were offensive to you?
Why does the punishment that happened seem unfair to you?
How could we fix the trouble that happened between us?

If a fight occurs between children, it is important to approach the resolution of the situation objectively. Seeing someone crying younger brother and the blushing elder standing on the side can be asked: “Did you hit your brother?” But you can ask: “Why is Vanya crying? What happened?”, and this will be an invitation to discuss the incident in which both sides can speak.

Children love when people talk to them about everything in the world. You can remember the past together: joyful moments or annoying disappointments. As the years pass, many things no longer seem offensive as they once were, so children easily share the secrets of early childhood, but to start these stories, you need to help children remember everything:

From when do you remember yourself?
What was your favorite toy when you were little?
What did you like to do as a family?
What do you remember about kindergarten?
What were you most afraid of when you were little?

Or we can talk about the future, about childhood aspirations and dreams:

Is there someone famous or familiar whom you would like to be like?
What would you like to learn?
How would you like to decorate your room?

Or ask more serious questions for teenagers:

If you could change three things about yourself, what would you change?
In your opinion, do girls look better with or without makeup?
What do you think is the best age to get married?
What would you do if someone suggested you try cigarettes?

Instead of a superficial question: “Well, did you like the book?”, it is better to ask one that can get a detailed answer: “What moment did you find the most interesting?” By encouraging children to speak, we train them in both the useful skill of speaking and the ability to express their point of view, help expand their vocabulary and teach them how to communicate with other people by listening carefully and asking counter questions.

The practice of open questions, if it is naturally woven into the process of family communication, and does not take place in the form of an interview or interrogation, brings children and parents closer together, carries educational value, as well as a teaching moment. During the conversation, you can tactfully express your opinion or lead the child to an important idea with leading questions. If you see that your daughter is hesitant to take part in a school play, although she wants to be involved, ask “why do you think this is impossible?” to understand the reason for the fear. And then think together about how you can cope with your anxiety, how else you can take part in the play if you don’t act as an actor: maybe draw the scenery, come up with costumes, speak in the voice of the author? When guiding questions are formulated correctly, ideas for solving problems are found.

I'm not adding anything, I'm quoting.

From the forum

“The souls of children not only choose their mothers and fathers long before incarnation, but
are constantly close to them, quite consciously anticipating their
future."
“Discussing our affairs and problems with friends, it was not without discussion
mystical stories from friends who have small children.
Many mothers have noticed that children seem to partially remember when they are small,
where they came from, how they chose their mother and some small details. I
I will write the most memorable stories about the amazing memory of children
before birth.
This is told by the mother of 3-year-old Kiryusha, from whom all these stories come from me and
I heard.
“I was cooking lunch in order to somehow distract the child and sit the fidget on
time was calm, I gave him all the photographs I had stored. And then he runs up
son comes to me with a black and white photograph of me in my youth with
mother (who died shortly before Kiryusha’s birth) and says, “Mom, but
I remember you and yours here a green dress! You're on the bus that day
I’m late!” my eyes are on my forehead - I ask “son, how do you know, dad
did you tell me? - no, he says, “I saw you from above, they showed you to me and
They said that you will be my mother! after that I started asking questions
acquaintances and friends about this phenomenon and it turned out that not only mine
the child “remembers” how he looked at his mother from somewhere before he was born.
My friend secretly told me how her daughter recently said: “Mom,
Grandfather with a lush red beard said hello to you all and
He said he was praying for you!” The grandfather with the red beard is the great-grandfather of this
women, she saw him only as a little girl, and the only black
The poor quality photo was kept in her mother’s albums. Their daughters are not
they showed it exactly, a child at that age wouldn’t be able to look at a black and white photo
It’s interesting when there are bright books. Therefore, after talking with the mother, women
came to the conclusion that the daughter really saw her great-great-grandfather before
of your birth!
Then, on the playground, I got into a conversation with another young mother. Ta
told how her son described how they were shown on some screens
uncles and aunts and they chose their parents.
Another mother of 4-year-old Mashenka told how her daughter said: “and
when they sent me to your tummy, an angel flew in and said that
I will be named after a good aunt who will help me.” Girl
didn’t know that when her mother was pregnant, one day, shortly before
childbirth, she slipped and fell, one woman helped her, took her to
hospital and was there until I found out that everything was fine. In honor of that
The woman is a mother and decided to name her daughter Mashenka!
The most amazing story, in my opinion, is about the girl Katenka, in
at the age of 2.5 years she told her parents that her mother and father were with her
2 more boys were chosen. But one was not allowed to choose these parents, and
the second one was told to get ready. A year later, the woman had a miscarriage - they
lost a boy. And 2 years later they gave birth to a healthy son. Prediction
They remembered their little daughter and somehow shared it with us.”
These are the wonderful stories I heard from a friend. Bye my baby
small and doesn't talk, but who knows what he'll tell me when
He'll get a little older!
I believe that we are sent to Earth by angels and that children can choose their own
parents up there!”

“You can reason as much as you like, trying to penetrate the mystery of human birth, but still not get one centimeter closer to the truth. At the same time, experts are increasingly inclined to think that the period of life of a small creature before birth is equal in significance almost half of a person’s entire life.And the souls of children not only choose their mothers and fathers long before incarnation, but are constantly next to them, quite consciously anticipating their future.
Hello mom, it's me!

The question from what moment a person becomes a person seems to have always worried us. Perhaps this is not so important, but it is significant and still significant. It is interesting that in ancient times, future parents prepared in advance for the arrival of a new life into the world. They called on a beautiful soul, bright and pure, like a spring, to incarnate in the body of a child. And they believed that in this case they would certainly have a baby, beautiful in body and soul. It is clear that you can believe in such a theory, but you can not. But then, where do so many mysterious visions come from that hover over expectant mothers, and why does she suddenly feel that she is no longer alone. Researchers have found a very logical answer to this strange question. If a woman saw her unborn child in a dream, it means he is already nearby."

“One day, a woman who had just given birth came to the sage and asked for advice on how to raise a child Smart, Kind, Wise and Omniscient. However, the sage answered her: “Dear... you are 9 months late.” This parable has a very deep meaning and meaning.Throughout our entire conscious life, we continually come across information about what happens before conception, during pregnancy and childbirth itself in finer world-structures, and how these events affect our children.

Who walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and three in the evening? Oedipus solved the riddle of the Sphinx. And you? Are you able, having lived the morning, day, and perhaps even the evening of your life, to solve at least one riddle of existence, your Path and Karma? Are you able to help another meet the dawn of life and walk along the Path?

THE FINGER OF DESTINY WRITES AND, HAVING WRITING, DISAPPEARS, says Nostradamus, neither your compassion nor your learning can change a word! The Goddesses of Fate weave invisible threads in your life. The sun gives life. The moon takes away... And people on Earth really want to know: what is there, through the looking glass? The soul languishes from vague sensations: what happened before... But memory is taken away at birth, and the human essence begins its life all over again, with a clean slate - innocent, but with the baggage of the heights and depths of past lives. A person who comes to Earth is not given the opportunity to remember the past so that he can make a free choice.

Life “poke him with his nose” like a blind kitten, often without giving a way out, but it is important to remember one thing: the principle of human existence on Earth is Love. Love the Divine World - and life will answer you in kind. “Seek and you will find, ask and it will be given to you...” - after all, “you are all children of God...”.

The principle of existence on Earth is Love. The natural continuation of Love is children, its fruit. Buddha sleeps in the Lotus flower until the time comes for him to open up and go out into the world. This is how a person comes into life. Its bright appearance is greeted at the time of birth. I should have done it sooner..."
“The great transition from life to life is prepared long before birth. Whose parents will your children be? Do they know that from the interaction of two principles in nature a third is born? “Tao gives birth to one - one gives birth to two - two gives birth to three - and three gives birth to everything.” . People enter the Stream of Love - Living Birthing Water - because someone's soul calls them. A person can change a lot in life by making a choice, but marriages and children are predetermined in our destiny. You cannot choose the time of birth, you will feel the power and the passion of mutual attraction, when the Soul needs to incarnate. You are glad that you have a successful child. And you think that you chose him, waited for him, gave birth and raised him. That he is now yours. I hasten to disappoint: he chose you a long time ago. This your and his Karma. He is a free entity. Your job is to try to best correspond to the role that is assigned to you."

“Children choose their parents in order to come to Earth to receive the lessons they need on the Path of evolution for further development. I foresee the question: how?! What about abandoned children who have no parents or whose parents are drunkards? What can they teach a child ?! “Put down the surveyor" and look deep into your consciousness: this is a Lesson of independence. Fate has either punished or rewarded a person - having gone through such a difficult school of Life, he will become ten times wiser and stronger than many. In one life he will make an evolutionary leap to ten lives ahead, but he can also become embittered with the whole world, become a thief, a drunkard, a murderer and a sadist and slide down to the point of being unrecognizable as a vile insect... The lesson is hard, but this does not mean that our task is to calmly watch as a person “perishes” . His independence lies in the freedom to choose Good and Evil, and the task of those around him is to lend a helping hand. Remember the commandment of Zoroastrianism, the most humane world religion: “A person is obliged to monitor his own moral and physical health, but also for the health of their fellows, to help them move along the path of evolution."

The law on children says that wherever a lonely child or a puppy ends up without help, the owner of the nearest house must take him in and raise him until he can provide for himself. Otherwise this house will be cursed.

Lessons of independence are lessons of freedom, when we are allowed to do whatever we want, and depending on what you “do,” you will receive a reward or punishment. Lessons of luxury and poverty, glory and humiliation, wandering and even relaxation. A beggar, a king, an artist, a prophet, a judge or a thief - all are found in you by Souls flowing to Earth. And there is not one similar - to each his own. Sometimes the life of an unnoticed righteous person turns out to be more important for evolution than the loud glory and existence of a narcissistic tyrant."

Time flies very quickly with a small child. More recently, the baby was a tiny lump, unable to raise his head, utter any sounds, or focus his eyes. During the first year, the baby changed dramatically, began to understand a lot, uttered his first words, took his first steps and continues to learn the world. Let's find out how to determine whether a child is developing normally, and how to stimulate further development one year old baby.

Physiological changes

By 12 months the child is usually triples the weight he was born with. Now the rate of weight gain and height increase is significantly slower compared to the first six months of life.
The feet of a one-year-old child are still flat, and they have no arch. If the baby has just begun to walk independently, there are still fatty pads on his feet. As they master walking, they disappear, and a bend appears at the feet.
The average number of teeth that one-year-old babies have is 8. Moreover, some children may already have 12 teeth, while others may have only 1-2 first teeth. These are all normal options that do not require seeing a doctor. You need to consult a pediatrician only if teeth are missing at 1 year of age.

Physical development

During the twelfth month of life, the baby gains approximately 350 grams of weight, and his height lengthens by another 1-1.5 centimeters. Both the head circumference and chest circumference of a child at this age increases by an average of 0.5 centimeters.

Different children develop physically at different rates, but based on the indicators of a large number of children of a certain age category, experts have established normal limits for such indicators. We noted these boundaries, along with the average indicators for one-year-old children, in the table:

When hitting pieces of furniture, some parents teach the child to give “change.” Is it worth doing this, see the next video by Larisa Sviridova.

Calculate your vaccination schedule

What can the baby do?

A 12 month old child moves very actively and a lot. By the age of one year, most toddlers already know how to walk independently and are constantly improving this skill. However, some 1-year-old children still need their mother’s support while walking or are in no hurry to start walking, preferring to move quickly on all fours.
Also, a one-year-old child can already squat and independently rise from this position. The baby confidently climbs the steps and climbs onto the sofa.
A one-year-old baby can take 2 small objects in one hand. The child picks up buttons and other tiny objects with his index finger and thumb.
A one-year-old child manages to assemble a pyramid and build towers from cubes.
A child's speech includes approximately 10-15 simple words of 1-2 syllables. One word karapuz can have several meanings. The baby does not yet pronounce all the letters and may confuse the syllables.
A 1-year-old child understands parents’ speech well. He knows the meaning of the words “can”, “cannot”, “give”, “take”, “come” and many others. He also knows the names of people with whom he often communicates. The baby can already answer a simple question.
The baby can carry out simple tasks, for example, wash vegetables, arrange cutlery, wipe off dust.
The baby likes to hide and look for toys, throw toys, create and destroy buildings from blocks, fill drawers and boxes and then empty them.
Twelve month old baby is interested story games and knows how to play them. The baby can put the toy to sleep or feed it.
Hearing the music, the baby will dance and try to sing along.
The kid knows many animals and can show them both on a walk and in pictures.
The baby knows way of using different objects.
Long-term memory The child is developing - the baby is already able to remember events of several days ago.
Child becomes more independent every day. At the table he can already handle a spoon and drink from a cup himself. The toddler already has certain preferences in food - the baby does not like some foods at all, but some, on the contrary, the child eats with great pleasure.

To check whether your baby is developing at a normal pace, you should:

Assess whether the baby can crawl, stand holding your hand, and take a few steps with your support.
Make sure your baby uses at least one gesture, such as shaking his head or waving his hand “bye.”
Check that your child understands your simple requests, such as taking a toy or giving it to you.
Make sure that the child’s speech contains at least one meaningful word.
Check if the baby has at least one tooth or signs of its appearance in the near future.

If anything alarms you during such a check, tell your pediatrician about it during your routine annual checkup.

Development activities

The main skill that a one-year-old child “works on” is walking. If the baby continues to crawl and is in no hurry to take his first steps, you can attract the baby with his favorite toy. Some children are afraid of losing their balance, so holding a toy in their hands can help them start walking.
If possible, give the baby go barefoot on the ground, sand or grass.
To stimulate gross motor skills, offer your child play with big cars balls and other large toys.
Continue working with your child development of fine motor skills. For example, you could attach clothespins to the edges of a coffee can and encourage your child to remove them. Games with beans, cereals, sand, and water are still interesting and useful for a child.
Also continue speech development toddler. Talk to your child a lot so that the child can explore a large number of new words. Describe everything you do and the objects your baby sees.
Play with your little one but at the same time, allow the baby to do what he can on his own. Play out different scenes together with toys, for example, how a bunny shares cookies with a bear cub, a doll bathes in a bath, a mouse invites a bear cub to visit.
Play different genres of music for your child as well as the sounds of various objects. This will stimulate your hearing development.
Exercise with your baby drawing, allowing the little one to make the first doodles finger paints, crayons or felt-tip pens. Your little one will also love to create using plasticine and salt dough.
Walk with your baby into the sandbox, offering to play with a scoop, molds, sieve, rake.
On a sunny day, pay attention to the crumbs your shadows. Offer to step on your shadow.
Give your child the opportunity play with other children. If your baby doesn’t have a sister or brother, invite familiar families with preschoolers to visit.
Make it for your baby photo album, which will contain photos of all close relatives, as well as pictures of animals. The little one will look at it for a long time.
Spend some time every day shared reading with the baby. Buy children's books for your little one from bright illustrations. Let your child choose which book he will “read” today.
While swimming, throw small toys that can float in the bathtub, and then give the baby a sieve or scoop, offering to collect the floating objects in a bucket.

Diversify your day with a lesson using the “Little Leonardo” method by O. N. Teplyakova, an expert on intellectual development.

Mental development

The development of the mental sphere of a one-year-old baby continues to remain very intense. The child stays awake longer and is able to concentrate on tasks for several minutes. interesting game with mom. That is why all developmental activities should be carried out only in the form of a game.

Based on communication with the mother, by the baby’s first birthday, trust or distrust in the world that surrounds him is formed. If this communication experience is positive, the baby will feel safe and will also project positive emotions onto the world around him.

In the second year of life, the child actively continues sensory and cognitive development. The baby learns the properties of objects, their shape, colors. In games, parents should constantly guide their one-year-old toddler, since without outside help and prompts, the baby’s actions will remain monotonous. By conducting simple activities with 1-year-old children, parents help the little one compare and distinguish objects, develop memory, and master everyday skills.

To evaluate mental development child at 1 year old, you can use the following tests:

Give your child 2 blocks and show him how to build a tower. The child will not throw the cubes or drag them into his mouth, but will place one on top of the other. By 18 months, the baby will already be able to use 3-4 cubes to build a tower.
Offer your baby a toy to invest in geometric figures(inset frame or sorter). A one-year-old baby must place the circle in the hole for it.
Give the little one a pyramid and ask him to assemble it. A 1-1.5 year old child will try to string rings, but will not take into account their size. Children learn to fold a pyramid correctly, taking into account the size of the rings, only by the age of 2.
Assess your skills in using household items. A 12-15 month old toddler can already use a spoon and cup correctly. At 1.5 years old, a child is able to take off socks, a hat and mittens.

Play with your little one and build towers with him from different figures, explain why the tower falls

Motor skills

To assess the baby’s gross motor skills, find out whether the baby can walk for a long time, has learned to bend and squat, and is able to get up from his knees and climb onto the sofa. Activities that develop gross motor skills will include:

Jumping. Hold the little one under the armpits or by the arms and let the baby jump in place.
Climbing onto the sofa and lowering back to the floor. For this purpose, you can attract your toddler with your favorite toy.
Climbing. Invite the baby to crawl under the chair, climb into big box and get out of it.
Stepping over. Having laid out various objects on the floor, walk around the room with your toddler, holding the child’s hand. When the baby approaches an obstacle, show that you first need to lift one leg and step over the object, and then take the same step with the other leg.
Ball games. Teach your child to throw a ball on the floor, first give the ball to the baby in his hands, and then place it next to him so that the child can pick up the ball himself. Next, learn to catch the ball. To develop your eye, you can throw a ball into a box.

To develop fine motor skills of a one-year-old child, you can:

Draw with pencils. First, hold the baby's pen with a pencil and simply leave marks on the paper. Try to interest your baby in drawing.
Draw with paints. Give your child a dry brush and show him how to make strokes, and then begin to master painting with paints.
Sculpt from plasticine. Roll a ball and show your baby how to make a cake out of it, then invite your little one to repeat.
Stick pebbles, buttons, and tubes into plasticine.
Shape from salt dough.
Place stickers on yourself or on a piece of paper.
Paint with finger paints.
Play with lacing.
Wind the threads around the ball.
Play with water, cereal or sand using a sieve and spoon.
Screw and unscrew the caps.
Play with the sorter and frame inserts.
Learn to deal with hooks, Velcro, snaps, buttons.
Play with clothespins.
Practice with a sensory box.

Speech development

In the second year of life, the baby’s speech develops, as well as its rapid improvement. First, the baby begins to understand speech, and then at a high pace it replenishes its vocabulary and the stage of active speech begins. At the same time, the toddler’s facial expressions and gestures are enriched. At one year old, one word from a baby can mean an entire phrase.

To stimulate the speech development of a one-year-old child, you can:

Look at pictures in books, voicing what you have drawn and asking the child simple questions according to the picture, for example, “where is the dog?”
Read rhymes and nursery rhymes with little ones, short tales and rhymes, as well as sing songs.
Perform articulation gymnastics.
Do gymnastics and finger massage.
Tell the baby about everything that can interest the little one - about nature, animals, seasons, houses and much more.

Finger games will help the baby's development. Watch Tatyana Lazareva's video, where she shows how you can play with a 1-year-old child.

Approximate weekly plan for the development of a one-year-old child

To ensure that the classes do not bore the baby, are not repeated and include all important areas of development, it is worth planning them in advance for at least one week. This will allow the mother to cover all areas of the toddler’s development and prepare materials for educational games in advance.

We offer an example of a weekly schedule of developmental activities for a child aged 1-1.5 years:

	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
Physical development	Ball games	Gymnastics to music	Fitball exercises		Walking with obstacles	Gymnastics video lesson
Cognitive development	Putting the puzzle together	Finding the whole from the parts	Games with dice	Studying fruits	Sort items by color	Pyramid games	Looking for a missing toy
Sensory and musical development	Listening to the sounds of musical instruments	Studying smells	Studying materials by touch	Listening to children's songs	Studying tastes	Playing with a sensory box	Listening to classical music
Fine motor skills	Finger gymnastics	Games with cereals	Lacing games	Finger gymnastics	Games with clothespins	Games with stickers	Sand games
Speech development	Reading a fairy tale	Articulation gymnastics	Discussion of the plot picture	Reading poetry	Articulation gymnastics	Looking at pictures and discussing them	Reading nursery rhymes
Creative development	Finger painting	Application	Drawing with pencils	Salt dough modeling	Drawing with paints	Playing with a constructor	Modeling from plasticine

This is just a rough plan that should be modified for each individual child. Be sure to include activities that your baby enjoys in your weekly routine. At the end of the week, do an analysis of what you have completed, based on which you can add any activities or reduce the list of games for the day.

Toys from 1 to 2 years

Toys help the baby develop both physical and emotional spheres. With their help, the child learns about the world, explores the environment, develops imagination, becomes proactive and learns cause-and-effect relationships.

For information on what toys are worth purchasing for a 1-2 year old baby, watch Anna Gapchenko’s video.

Among the toys of a 1-2 year old child should be:

Cubes.
Sorter with several simple holes.
Pyramid with 3-4 rings.
Cups are square and round.
Boxes of different sizes.
Outdoor toys - a shovel, molds, a car with a body, a bucket.
Toys that pull or push.
Soft toys that the baby can put to sleep and feed.
Toys for playing with water.
Plastic dishes.
Toy phone.
Toys that imitate household items.
Musical toys.
Cardboard or fabric books.

And a few more tips regarding toys for a one-year-old child:

Do not give your baby a large number of items to play with at once. They will quickly bore the little one and cause fatigue. Put some of the toys in a distant drawer or hide them, and after a while replace the missing toys with those that the child is already slightly tired of.
When visiting friends with children, pay attention to which toys are most interesting to the little one. This will give you the opportunity to replenish your supply of toys with items that your baby will probably play with.
Many children like to play with everyday objects (pot lids, sheets, mirrors, etc.). Don't ban them, but make sure these games are safe.

Games with cereals are one of the baby's favorites. How to conduct such classes, see the following video.

Care

Hygienic procedures are important element daily routine in the life of a one-year-old toddler. In the morning, the child is washed and cleaned. It is also important for your baby to brush his teeth and be sure to wash his hands before eating and after walking. Before going to bed, the baby is traditionally bathed, combining this water procedure with fun games in the water.

Daily regime

By the age of one year, all children have a certain daily routine, changing several times over the 12 months of life. Its maintenance is important for the baby’s well-being. The main points of a 12-month-old child’s daily routine are the organization of sleep and wakefulness, as well as nutrition.

Dream

Children aged 1 year are awake more, but still sleep about 14-15 hours a day. Night rest lasts on average 10-11 hours, and during the day a 12-month-old child sleeps twice. In this case, the first nap usually lasts longer (2-2.5 hours), and the second nap is shorter (1.5 hours). Children begin to transition to one nap during the day at approximately 18 months.

Wakefulness

The daily routine of a 12-month-old baby includes active and quiet games, gymnastic exercises, reading books, walks, visits and much more. In the first half of the day, active games are welcome, but in the evening they should be avoided. Gymnastics with your child should be performed an hour before meals.

Walks

It is recommended to take your one-year-old for walks 2 times a day, and in good weather, at least one of the daytime naps should be organized during a walk. It is recommended to go outside with the baby in the morning at 10-11 o’clock, and in the afternoon at 16-17 o’clock. The duration of walks should be 2 hours or more. It will be affected by weather conditions, e.g. summer days The baby can easily spend 5-6 hours walking. If the frost outside is below -10, there is heavy rain or it is very windy, you should refrain from walking.

Nutrition

A 1 year old child still eats 5 times a day with pauses between meals of 3.5-4 hours. It is recommended to adhere to a feeding schedule, offering your baby food at approximately the same time, and also avoiding long breaks. You can determine the total daily amount of food for a one-year-old baby by dividing the baby’s body weight by 9. On average, children of this age eat 1000-1300 ml of food per day. Dividing this volume by the number of feedings, you will get an average serving volume of 200-260 ml.

P baby's feeding breastfeeding includes more and more complementary foods. The baby is latched to the breast mainly at bedtime, during the day (for example, if he falls) and after eating (with complementary foods). At night, active mid-morning feedings persist, which occur at 4-8 am.

Children on artificial feeding you can continue to feed adapted mixture, offering it at two feedings (the first and before bedtime). If necessary, the mixture can already be canceled by offering the baby porridge for breakfast and replacing the mixture before bed with a fermented milk drink.

Spices, herbs, salt, and some types of sweets (marshmallows, marshmallows) appear in the diet of a one-year-old child. It is still too early for such children to become acquainted with fried foods, sausages, smoked meats, fatty meats, exotic fruits, mushrooms and chocolate.