Frequent quarrels in a relationship cause both sides of the couple to suffer. And often the thought arises of giving up everything so that it can finally end. But there is no point in changing the boat if you do not know how to operate the oars. So, let's learn to avoid conflicts and make our lives happier!

High expectations

Often one of the partners in a love relationship thinks that he will later cope with the shortcomings of his beloved. However, after unsuccessful attempts, it begins to stress both of them.

Sometimes it’s just enough to start accepting a person for who he is and stop changing him.

Tired of each other

It starts when people spend a lot of time together. Then all interesting topics are reduced to a minimum, more silence, disagreements, irritation, etc. appear. This is why psychologists advise sometimes taking a break from each other.

Jealousy

To a jealous person, everything seems suspicious: the other half takes a long time to return from work, unfamiliar numbers call, too revealing outfit etc.

Often this can be eradicated by greater openness with such a person and the exclusion of those moments that irritate him so much:

• stop communicating with people of the opposite sex;
• call back unknown numbers together;
• talk on the phone on the way home if you are delayed, etc.

Stress

They can arise due to pressure at work, poor health, misunderstanding with parents, fatigue, lack of sleep, etc. In such cases, there is often unfounded criticism and a more acute reaction to everything that happens around.

Living with such a person, you just need to be patient and start taking measures: give more time for rest, send him for treatment, help with business.

Influence of outsiders

It also happens that those around you are not delighted with your choice, so they try in every possible way to “open your eyes.” While you are defending your loved one to them, you still unknowingly begin to pay attention to what they have been talking so hard about. Irritation and frequent quarrels appear.

You can exclude this by prohibiting discussion of your partner, or by minimizing communication with strangers.

What to do

Frequent quarrels are, in principle, the norm. This means that people are not indifferent to each other. And if your partner still remains with you, despite systematic abuse, then this says a lot.

Don't bring up the past

If you have already tried to do this, you probably noticed how you began to overreact to moments that were somehow connected with the past, although before you lived and didn’t think about anything.

They say correctly: the less you know, the better you sleep. Forget about what happened before you and don’t be interested in it, and you won’t have any jealousy, “troubles,” or other “headaches.” This person is already with you. What else is needed?

Don't leave issues unresolved

It would seem that sometimes it is better to simply end a quarrel, bringing it to a “no” with silence or assent. Indeed, this can be done, and life is much calmer. However, this only applies to those cases when you will not return to these situations again.

If you would like to subsequently exclude such actions from your partner, then it is worth talking. But this also needs to be done correctly:

• talk about what made you nervous: “I was unpleasant when you...”;
• ask, if possible, not to do this again: “Don’t do this again, please, don’t make me nervous”;
• offer an alternative (what a person should do so that it does not cause negative emotions in you).

Important!
Don’t forget the proverb “If you love to ride, love to carry a sled.” This means that you cannot constantly ask without giving something in return. This can be expressed in gratitude, nice words, care, showing tenderness and willingness to respond to the partner’s requests.

Forget the words “You must/must!”

Nobody owes you anything. You are an accomplished person with arms, legs and brains. Even own parents they don't owe you anything. Take it for granted. A person helps - good, no - well, okay, so you can handle it yourself.

A very simple solution is to replace the words “You should/should” with “I would be pleased if you...”. Believe me, the effect will be completely different! A person who didn’t even want to do something will most likely meet you halfway.

And don’t forget about the basic rules of ethics - use the word “please” more often.

Lower your expectations and demands

Most often, the reason for frequent quarrels in relationships is that one of the partners demands too much, and the other cannot give it. In this case, it is worth remembering once again that there are no ideal people. Therefore, there is no need to try to change a person to make you feel comfortable. This is the lot of egoists.

Do you know why calm couples have much less quarrels than you? Because they do not require that boots are constantly out of the way in the hallway - the one who does not like it simply silently removes them himself; they think: if the dishes were not cleared away after dinner, it means that the person did not have the time or mood to do it, well, or he does not bother with it at all.

Don't stop accepting each other

Here are examples of how a person’s worldview changes over time:

• The guy is the “soul” of the company. He knows a lot of jokes and is always in good mood, will support any conversation. At first, for the girl, he is an attractive and charismatic young man who does not want to reveal his problems in front of people. Then, when a couple lives together for a long time, the capricious lady begins to perceive his behavior as “showing off” and carelessness, which is expressed in the fact that the man does not care about everything. As a result, he begins to irritate her, so she begins to “nag” him.
• The girl is able to fight back, she is bright and obstinate. Her partner is attracted to this, he considers this trait special, he says: “Damn it, my cat is showing her claws again!” In a couple of years life together she becomes for him “a bitch who just wants to tame him.”

So why are we doing this... You need to periodically return to those feelings and sensations that arose in you before - at the first stage of the relationship. At a time when you considered all these shortcomings to be advantages that make you smile and say: “Well, yes, that’s how he is - my favorite person.”

Important!
If you don’t like something about a person, it’s not his shortcoming, but your whim. What irritates you may be attractive to other people.

Learn to quarrel correctly

So, the quarrel begins. What does each of the interlocutors often do? He begins to defend his innocence. Moreover, not in the most friendly tone. This kind of conversation almost never leads anywhere.

There are ways to make conflict more productive. To do this you need:

• speak only calmly;
• if you see that the interlocutor is heated, say that you will not talk to him in such a tone, it is better to wait until you both “move away”;
• there is no need to prove your opinion, but you need to voice it and support it with facts and arguments;
• you should not interrupt your partner, as this often irritates and leads to a bad reaction;
• remember: it is better to remain silent than to yell and offend your interlocutor.

Control what is said

During a quarrel with a girl or guy, do you like to get excited and say a bunch of nasty things? Then don't be surprised if your relationship deteriorates.

The fact is that no matter how much you later deny that it was said out of spite, your significant other will remember all those offensive words for a long time.

After this, a cooling towards the person often occurs, because we all want to be idolized, not humiliated.

Know how to ask

This point is very important, since, most often, this is where the “dog is buried.” Take a look at yourself from the outside. How do you talk? Would you like it if someone talked to you the same way? It is not a fact that the answers to these questions will satisfy you.

Know how to admit to yourself if, indeed, there are complaints, instructions, etc. from your side.

If this is your case, then remember:

Start communicating with your significant other the way you would like to be communicated with. See how much your relationship will change! And almost as soon as you start to succeed!

The most important thing is to be gentle. No one likes it when the conversation contains complaints, reproaches, direct criticism, etc.

Here are examples of what was said with the same meaning, but in different words:

- Badly:“How do you cook? Well, there’s always plenty of salt! It’s impossible to eat!”

Fine: Can I ask you to add less salt next time? Please use less salt – I think it will be even tastier!”

- Badly:“You are so lazy that you can’t even babysit!”

Fine:“Couldn’t you babysit the child? In the meantime, I would do some things. And by the evening I won’t be so tired, well, you know what I mean...”

Learn to accept refusals. If you receive a “no” in response to your request, try to understand the person why he did it. Perhaps he feels bad, promised to meet/help a friend, is simply tired, or even believes that this is not his responsibility - all these are NORMAL explanations.

If they do not suit you, either accept it or try to act cunningly. For example:

1. If the wife stopped taking care of herself, tell her how beautiful she was before, especially in that outfit and with that hairstyle, and as soon as she “works magic” on herself, admire her appearance, give lots of compliments.
2. Also in the case of a man: Not everyone considers it normal to help his wife around the house. However, you can involve him in this too. For example, when rolling out dough for dumplings, ask him to help you. You need to base your request on the fact that you are so bad at it, and it’s a little hard for you, but he – so strong and “handy” – will definitely help you make perfect dumplings!

In the end, I would like to wish every reader to start applying these tips in their lives. There is no need to be afraid to make concessions, because this is not a weakness, but a strength, a talent that anyone can acquire!

And one more thing: before you pack your things after another quarrel, think about whether you will really be fine without this person? Is the reason why the quarrel occurs so significant? Is she worthy of your nerves?

Video: How to quarrel so that you don't quarrel anymore

Useful tips

Home is the place we all need to live. . It is associated with warmth and comfort. If everything is in order in the house, it means that the owners will experience harmony and happiness, well-being and prosperity.

It is not good when there is no energy at all in the house, but it is even worse if the predominant energy is negative. Because she will carry into your home various troubles and even complete disappearance of finances.

Read also:10 signs that show how strong your relationship is

If there are endless conflicts, disputes, quarrels and swearing in the house, and households and animals often begin to get sick, if light bulbs burn out with constant regularity and other household appliances fail, and one after another various household problems rain down on your head - then It's time to take care of your home and carry out a thorough energy cleansing.

Knowing certain rules, which our ancestors observed, you can achieve great effectiveness in harmonizing your home.

Signs that will help you understand that your home needs urgent cleaning.

1. There are constant quarrels, conflicts and disputes in the house.

2. The flowers began to wither, dry out, or even die.

3. If household appliances whose service life has not yet expired fail.

4. The vents, windows and doors constantly slam themselves.

5. Strange sounds and various noises began to be heard.

6. Things get lost and disappear very often.

7. Light bulbs burn out throughout the house at regular intervals.

8. Family members and animals living in the house began to get sick very often.

9. Water flows or drips from taps, water supply is leaking.

10. Suddenly, various insects began to appear in your house: ants, cockroaches and others.

11. Residents of the house seem to be losing strength, they have a partial or complete lack of energy, reluctance to do anything, drowsiness and fatigue.

12. Quite strange odors appear, although their source is unknown.

13. Someone was dying in this house.

14. Household members have bad dreams, they have problems sleeping, sleep does not bring them rest and recuperation at all.

15. If the house was visited by people who are not trustworthy.

Negative energy can completely destroy a family and therefore very dangerous. Be careful, clean your home properly and always follow certain rules, to keep the house energetically clean.

Read also: How to quarrel in marriage?

Cleansing the house from the accumulation of bad energy

* First you need to light a candle and walk around the whole house with it. clockwise, starting from the front door and ending there. Pay attention to every corner. Fire has an extraordinary cleansing power that is incomparable to anything else! At the same time, read any protective prayer. You need to do this cleansing procedure at least once a month.

*Must be thrown out of your home forever all old, broken, chipped, unnecessary and outdated things. Don't feel sorry for them! This is what you shouldn't leave in the house. These things will weigh heavily on you, taking away all your vitality. What you do not use for a year necessarily begins to collect negative energy.

* Go through the closet: wardrobe items that you haven’t worn for a long time are thrown into the trash, or give them to someone else and let them serve for a good cause. You just don't need them anymore.

* All broken equipment must be repaired or throw it away completely. It should not be stored in the house in this condition. Cracked dishes should not be stored either, even if it is a gift from your beloved grandmother. Get rid of it immediately. All this rubbish completely stops the flow of positive energy, which is why there is constant illness and trouble in the house.

* Sometimes photos are the cause of many troubles. Usually there are some not very good memories associated with them. These could be photos of relatives with whom you have bad relationship. Or maybe these are just bad photos that you don’t like at all. Or they could be photos of long-dead loved ones.

* Plants are good at cleaning the aura in the house. In nature, there are trees - vampires that are able to absorb any negative energy. These are lilac, bird cherry, aspen, poplar and linden. It is necessary to make a block from such a plant and place it where one of the family members is most often located, who can constantly carry gloomy thoughts within themselves.

Having set such negativity traps, try not to fall into them yourself, since this is only intended for those who spoil the home aura.

* A wreath of birch branches suspended above the door will reliably protect your home and scare away all the negative energies that strive to penetrate it.

* Even more effective property possesses the sanctified willow

* You can also stick a needle into the door frame from the side of the apartment. The main thing is that it is you who stick it in, and not someone else!

* Mirrors! This is quite a significant item in every home. You cannot hang a mirror that is someone else’s, given away or given by someone, as it is a powerful conductor of energy. In this case, someone else’s energy will be transmitted into your home, but no one knows whether it is good or not.

It is not for nothing that in the event of a death in the house, all mirrors are always tightly covered. This is not without reason, and we need to respect the signs that have come to us from the past. To remove energetic dirt When cleaning mirrors, they should be wiped in a circular motion. Use a wet cloth to make as many circles on the surface of the mirror as it is old. If it’s difficult for you to remember, then feel free to do it 13 laps.

* Try not to let people into your house whose arrival gives you a headache or you feel stuffy, or maybe you even start having nightmares. In general, those who cause negative emotions in you.

Let your neighbor, a kind of nice little old lady who you don’t like at all, but sometimes tries to invade your territory, consider you “slightly impolite”, but after all this is your home, your personal fortress and you have every right both to want and to protect it.

* Make it a rule to walk around the house with holy water from time to time. Sprinkle the corners of the apartment crosswise, reading at this moment the appropriate protective prayers.

* If you begin to notice that conflicts in the house arise very often and practically from scratch, then you need to further harmonize your space. This particularly applies to the bedroom. To do this, you need to try to place paired objects in this part of the house: two bedside tables and two vases on it, two paintings that also depict paired objects, for example two swans, etc.

* Conflicts and disputes can be well neutralized by two identical dishes must be round in shape. Arrange them in your home the way you like.

*Bamboo shoots, standing on the windows in all rooms of your house will help drive away negativity and overcome the envy of other people.

* At the end of the day, it is necessary to cleanse your body from time to time not only from ordinary dirt, but also from psychological and energetic dirt too. For this purpose, instead of the usual gel or soap, ordinary table salt is ideal. She a real conductor of energy, and can work wonders.

Dissolved in water salt has the ability to wash away all negativity, accumulated even over many years. Apply it in a circular motion on your wet body, mentally asking the water to wash away all the bad things and completely cleanse yourself.

* For reliable home protection You can be helped by various amulets, which you can make yourself or purchase in specialized stores. Take care of your home, your loved ones and yourself. And may joy and harmony always be present in it.

Carry out such cleansing once a month, on the 19th lunar day. And you will soon begin to notice amazing changes.

However, one should not forget that happiness in the house depends entirely on you. There is no need to rely on circumstances and someone who will wave a magic wand and change everything.

In order for harmony to reign in your home, you must, first of all, love your home yourself and carefully look after it. In this case, positive energy will become very powerful, capable of coping with any external negativity. Live in goodness, peace and joy and everything will be fine with you.

Quarrels in the family, unfortunately, are not uncommon. Why do they happen? After all, hardly anyone likes to swear. In this article we will look at the main reasons why quarrels occur in the family.

All reasons do not have to be present, but the more there are, the more frequent and longer the quarrels become. So, let's begin.

Causes of quarrels in the family:

Self-importance and family quarrels

One of the main reasons for any quarrels is a sense of self-importance. What does this mean? This means that a person believes that his position is the only correct one and begins to get angry when something does not happen the way he wants.

This feeling has several interesting varieties, which we will consider further.

Inclination to Blame

A sense of self-importance makes a person confident that he can judge someone. A person climbs onto the pedestal of infallibility and begins to vigilantly monitor the mistakes of others.

For example, a wife (or husband) dropped a plate on the floor, when suddenly the husband explodes with indignation: “Can’t you be more careful!” He or she begins to feel resentful that the other person is not perfect enough.

Even if something accidental happens for which no one is to blame, then a person with a sense of self-importance begins to look for someone to blame. And, of course, it is always another person.

Of course, the other person is not too pleased to hear unfair accusations against him and then he begins to defend himself. Sometimes just a word, and sometimes an emotionally charged speech.

Then the accuser begins to feel even more indignant. After all, not only did someone make a mistake, but he also considers himself right!

So, word for word, a huge quarrel ensues. At the same time, both feel right. One feels right because, in his opinion, he had the right to judge, and the other feels right because he does not agree with someone else’s right to judge him.

Inability to negotiate and compromise

Because of a sense of self-importance, other quarrels occur in the family. For example, its consequence may be an inability to negotiate. It often happens that different people have different points of view. If a person feels infallible, then he will never compromise. It should always be only according to him and nothing else.Someone else's opinion isn't worth a penny.

What does this mean? Another person agrees once, twice, and then he begins to think, why do I always give in? Then the other person begins to defend his interests, his right to his own opinion.

Then, the person with a sense of self-importance feels anger that the other person is defending the “wrong point of view.” There is a quarrel again. Only one fights for the truth, as he understands it, and the other for the right to his own opinion. Of course, with such a statement of positions, the quarrel will only intensify. Or there may be a situation where one of the people “bends in.” However, this will not be a gain, but will simply be a mine in the relationship, because... It will leave nothing but resentment.

Disagreement with family roles

Another reason for quarrels is disagreement with roles in the family. What does it mean? This means that one family member expects the other to play a certain role. social role, which he doesn’t want to play. For example, a husband may expect his wife to play the role of a “cleaning lady,” but she may categorically disagree with this formulation of the issue.

Or an older son may begin to demand that he no longer be treated like a child. This, by the way, is the so-called teenage crisis, when children stop playing the role of “subordinates” and begin to rebel in every possible way until they consider that they have won a new role.

When there is no clarity and agreement in the family about who will play what role, quarrels inevitably occur. Why? They happen because it inevitably turns out that someone is not fulfilling their responsibilities.

How does this manifest itself in life? For example, a man has a certain idea in his head about how his wife should behave. This may be an opinion from parental family, or gleaned from books. Suppose he believes that the wife should cook, clean, look after the children and not work (pseudo-patriarchal option). A woman may have a completely different opinion about what she should do. As we can see, this is excellent ground for quarrels.

Moreover, I’m not saying that some roles are bad, but some are good. All I'm saying is that family members should agree with them. Roles can be very bizarre, but if family members accept them, there will be no quarrels.

Inability to talk and listen

This point is the reason and at the same time a logical continuation of the previous points. It is based on the following question: “How can family members learn about each other’s expectations if they do not say them?”

The ability to create a pleasant atmosphere for such conversations is an art. It is important to be able to listen non-judgmentally to another family member’s ideas of how things should be.

Unfortunately, disagreement with roles creates the preconditions for quarrels, and a sense of self-importance blocks negotiations on this topic. Accordingly, the causes of quarrels are not resolved and quarrels in the family do not subside.

Conflicts that cannot be resolved quickly terrify many couples that they prefer to avoid them at all costs. People consider such quarrels to be fatal to relationships. And completely in vain.

If you manage to talk without getting personal, but without suppressing your emotions, but on the contrary, making them accessible to your partner, such a quarrel will only strengthen your relationship. You will understand this when the storm subsides.

Having survived one quarrel, you will be less afraid of the next ones. You will begin to trust your partner and yourself more, knowing that you can fully cope with possible disagreements. As a result, you won't put off difficult conversations with your significant other until the last minute. You will understand that it is better not to accumulate negative emotions, but to find out what is wrong as early as possible.

2. You'll feel much better after an argument.

If you can express your emotions and let off steam, you will get rid of tension, anxiety and fear. This will have a positive effect on both your mental health and physical health.

Of course, this doesn't mean you need to dump all your toxic thoughts on your partner. Although sometimes it’s better to express everything that’s boiling over than to keep it inside and wait for everything to work itself out.

Greg Godek, author of the book Love: The Course They Forgot to Teach You in School, believes that Golden Rule ethics rarely works in real quarrels. Talking too cautiously will lead nowhere. Therefore, sometimes it is better to let out all the emotions in order to finally figure out what’s going on.

The only rule that should be followed in quarrels is not to hit your partner or throw heavy objects at him. For the rest, go ahead: make noise, slam doors, swear last words. Do anything if you feel it will help.

Greg Godek

3. Your partner will know your thoughts and feelings.

No matter how close you are, your partner cannot read your mind. He probably just doesn’t realize how much some topic offends you.

At the same time, the question arises: how to convey your thoughts to your partner so that he perceives them correctly and is not offended? Especially if these are some claims against him. How not to depress him with your dissatisfaction?

Try not to blame, but to talk about your feelings, about how your partner’s behavior affects you. Psychologists call these I-statements. For example, you could say, “I'm fed up with your work.” An I-statement conveying the same idea would sound like this: “It really upsets me that you often come home late. I would like to spend more time together."

They say that arguing brings out our worst traits. But they can also detect ours best qualities, if we can handle the hardest part of them.

4. You will get closer

During arguments, you find out what is important to your partner, what he likes, what he wants, how he sets boundaries, how flexible he is, what hurts him and what he needs to feel better.

If you quarreled because your significant other is throwing socks around the apartment, the matter may be completely different. Perhaps the reason lies in respect and personal space, and not in neatness.

Greg Godek

There is one more fact that cannot be ignored. after a disagreement is worth almost any quarrel. And he will do you too closer friend to friend. In all senses.

5. You will understand that your soulmate is a separate person.

Quarrels very quickly dispel the illusion that you have already merged into one whole and reached complete mutual understanding. It would be good if this never happened. This way you can get to know each other from new sides throughout your life.

6. You will become a better person

You learn to focus on what matters most. On the fact that your significant other is very important to you and you want close person was happy. This is how you become more patient, understanding and caring, and learn to truly love.

When you're in the middle of a fight, you're clearly not having fun. You feel disgusting. In a way, quarrels are like sports training. Isn't it always nice to sweat at the gym? No. But this is how you improve your weak points.

Greg Godek

To quarrel is to forge a sword of steel. Only after hardening, after repeated immersion in hot oil and cold water the result will be a work of art that can survive any challenge. It's the same with your union.

7. You will realize that you don't have to be perfect.

Fighting shows that you are only human. Sometimes you're in a bad mood, sometimes you're stressed, and sometimes you're just tired. Accordingly, your relationship cannot be ideal.

All your inner cockroaches, which you are aware of or not aware of, will make themselves felt in close relationships. It's unavoidable.

During a quarrel, our inner children come into interaction. They are vulnerable and irrational. It's like you're two or three years old again. Therefore, when they hurt you, remember that it is a child doing it. To do this, you can keep on hand baby photo your loved one.

Hedy Shleifer, Licensed Psychologist, Director of the Center for Relationship Therapy

Use conflict as an opportunity to grow. View arguments not as a hindrance, but as a help in building healthy relationships.

Relationships between people are the strangest and most incomprehensible phenomenon. Understanding the true causes of typical events is not so easy. This is especially true for quarrels. It’s a paradox, but scandals cause discomfort and a lot of negative emotions in both partners, while the absence of them can indicate people’s indifference to each other. So how to understand the causes of quarrels and what to do next with such a heated relationship?

Well, just brawlers!

“We constantly argue, I’m just tired of it!” - my friend told me, who quarreled with her fiancé at most once every two months. And, indeed, it was very difficult for her to recover from the disagreements: she suffered and worried for two or three days. She’s just a very calm person by nature, so she doesn’t tolerate any discomfort in relationships.

Think about it, maybe you also have a soft character, which is why you worry very much after any quarrel? You’re just not used to sorting things out, since this happens quite rarely in your couple. And if it does happen, it is transferred like a catastrophe.

Sometimes we screw ourselves up and look for a problem where there is none. Believe me, those ideal relationship, in which partners have not said a single rude word to each other in their entire lives, exist. But only in fairy tales. IN real life everything is a little different. All people quarrel and everyone makes peace. And another disagreement that arose, for example, a month after the previous one, is not at all a reason to break off the relationship. Treat this situation as normal. And don’t forget that if one of you quickly takes the first step after a scandal, and positive emotions cover up the negative, then your relationship is completely healthy.

Italian couple

Wow, what passions are boiling in your relationship! Yes, for one innocent look from your boyfriend at some girl, you are ready to violently sort things out with breaking dishes and throwing his things from the balcony. But the partner is not so simple either: he ardently stands up for his rights!

You quickly explode and just as quickly make peace. And you must cement reconciliation in bed. Well, we can only congratulate you: you are a classic Italian couple. Passionate and hot for our harsh conditions.

Quarrels for you are more a way of life than a negative thing. When you sort things out, you let off steam and get real adrenaline. And neither you nor your partner are embarrassed by this.

Such relationships have a right to exist. If a surge of emotions only invigorates you, then why change anything? You're doing great! Yes, you yourself know that you love each other endlessly.

Did not get along

If your couple does not belong to the two extremes described above, then it’s time to seriously think about the relationship. First of all, you need to find the cause of the constant scandals, since this is where the root of all troubles lies.

So, the relationship has become unbearable because:

You are “stuck” by everyday life;

You expected something completely different from your partner;

You became jealous;

You have no time for your partner because you live in stress;

You are simply tired of each other;

You have different interests;

Third parties interfere in your relationship;

Your life is too measured.

There are indeed many reasons. Let's figure out in order what became for you the point that disrupted your usual life.

"Everyday life." This is the first thing couples face when deciding to live together. Yes, now your spouse or boyfriend will not come to every date with a bouquet of flowers, you will not return home after midnight, and your lips will no longer hurt from kissing. Instead, a lot of worries appear: cook dinner, wash clothes, feed the cat. And relationships have to be combined with everyday activities, which are not at all romantic. On this basis, many couples begin scandals.

Unjustified expectations. Frequent quarrels can also arise because you imagined your partner to be completely different. It's no secret that at the beginning of a relationship we all want to look better than we really are. This is where high expectations arise from the other half. You behaved differently, and when you became yourself, your partner was simply able to come to terms with all your shortcomings.

Jealousy is a terrible feeling that not only becomes the cause of quarrels, but can ultimately kill love. This is especially true for groundless jealousy, because it is precisely because of it that frequent scandals arise.

Stress. Sometimes the cause of disagreements can be simple stress. Troubles at work, constant fatigue and lack of sleep, poor health and damaged relationships with relatives or friends push you to take out your anger on someone. Most often under hot hand Of course, the partner gets there.

General fatigue from each other. Even people who are passionately in love need a break from each other. Because relationship fatigue negatively affects the overall health of the couple. If you spend too much time together, you will gradually accumulate negativity and indifference, which will certainly result in scandals.

Different interests are also a cause of quarrels. Another thing they say about this is “they didn’t get along.” You may have known that your husband loves to play socks, go fishing on weekends, and play on the computer on weekdays. But you thought you could live with it. However, it didn’t work out. And so began the nit-picking and clarification of the relationship.

Third parties. How many times have they told the world: do not discuss your relationships with third parties. Even with your closest friend or mother. Moreover, in a negative way. Firstly, you will be given a lot of unnecessary advice, thanks to which you will only worsen your relationship with your partner. Secondly, you will most likely forgive your significant other, but whether your loved ones will forgive him is not a fact.

Measured life. Oddly enough, a quiet life with an established life and bed on weekends can begin to irritate over time. You don’t go out much, your partner doesn’t pay as much attention to you as before, and life goes on as scheduled. So it’s not far from hiking “to the left”. And quarrels will definitely begin for this reason.

We are ready for this

The cause of the quarrel has been found. But did this make it any easier? It’s unlikely, because the main question follows from it: what to do next? To do this, you need to understand whether you are ready to fight for the relationship and change something?

The hardest part of any action plan is taking action. Therefore, if you decide to fight for your man, then go ahead.

Oddly enough, the easiest way to overcome disagreements is based on everyday life and a measured life. Yes, simply because it won’t work out in life any other way. Either you will live for yourself all your life and be interrupted by fleeting romances, or you will learn to combine happy relationship with everyday worries.

Do household chores with your partner. It will be faster this way! And it will only bring you closer. Don’t dress up at home in a greasy robe with torn slippers: be beautiful and desirable, so that you want to show off. Gradually, you won’t even notice how household chores are completed in 10 minutes, after which you, holding hands, go to the premiere of a new film or to the skating rink.

Try not to interfere with relatives and friends in your relationship. If any problems arise in a couple, then solve them together, and do not immediately run for outside advice. Your loved ones don't know you the way you know each other, so recommendations can only hurt you and make you even angrier. Discuss the simmering problems as a couple and come to a compromise. In the end, you can always seek advice from a psychologist.

If you live in constant stress, then try not to take your anger out on your partner. Instead, take a vacation and go somewhere together. This way you will relieve stress and take a break from pressing problems, and the time spent with your partner will have a very positive effect on your relationship.

As for being tired of each other, you can also take a vacation here. But just do it separately. This is perhaps the only time when such advice can be given. Sometimes you need to take a break from each other. Separation will reveal your true feelings, so if you love each other, then a short holiday apart will only bring you closer.

Trust in each other will help suppress groundless jealousy. Yes, partners should have personal space, but if one of you constantly suffers from the unknown and the desire to catch the other partner cheating, then it's time to become a little more open. Don’t put a password on your phone, give your significant other access to your social network, call back together to unfamiliar numbers. Over time, you will simply get tired of constantly watching each other, because you will understand that there is no reason for jealousy.

Differing interests and unjustified expectations are the hardest things to overcome. But there is a way out here too. Just stop demanding that your partner match the image you painted. Accept him for who he is. You fell in love with this person for a reason. Keep it simple, look for positive moments and look more broadly at the merits. And even princes from fairy tales have flaws.

As for different interests, take a closer look at the activities of your spouse. What if you like his computer game or his favorite football team? Then he will certainly help you find a curling iron or lipstick. Ultimately, find a shared hobby. After all, you somehow started dating. It is unlikely that on your first dates he built a virtual empire, while you did not stop putting on makeup in front of the mirror in the toilet.

What if everything is useless?

Sometimes disagreements reach their peak. Roughly speaking, quarrels simply lead to a dead end. Tips for improving relationships only help for a while, and there is practically no way out. What to do in this case?

Marry! Yes Yes exactly. But only if you are the instigator of the quarrels. Moreover, they are ready to start scandals literally out of the blue. Your beloved is looking for the reason for this behavior, and at this time you realize that you are simply angry with him because you still have not received the coveted ring.

It is so customary in our society that a woman should wait for initiative from a man. And if your partner does not propose, but lives with you very willingly, then the negativity begins to accumulate. Evil tongues have also buzzed all over your ears that she doesn’t want to get married. Gently hint that it’s time for you to legitimize your relationship. Everyone needs a family, so the young man will understand that the time has come for the registry office. And why quarrel over such a trifle? If you have feelings, then in a white dress you will definitely march to the Mendelssohn march.

But the reason may not be marriage. If you are mired in quarrels and nagging each other for any reason, then it is a mistake to think that a wedding will save the relationship. It doesn't change anything. You just get a stamp in your passport and rings on your ring fingers. Registration cannot fundamentally change you. Just like having children if you are already married. All these points can further worsen an already shaky relationship. Which exit? Most likely, they will disperse.

Sooner or later the feelings will fade away anyway. Eternal negativity and an endless series of scandals take us out of the normal mental state any person. If you are not a passionate Italian couple, then maybe you shouldn’t torture each other? It’s easier to admit that you just don’t get along, thank each other for the time spent together, and part ways peacefully. Believe me if you live in constant quarrels, then no matter how painful it is, you need to admit that the person next to you is not yours. And when you meet your one and only, you will definitely understand it.

And finally

Infrequent domestic quarrels should be treated as something ordinary, for example, like taking out the trash. This is normal for any couple. The negativity will definitely pass when you make peace, after which you will be covered with new pleasant moments.

It is much worse if a couple lives in constant scandals. There’s no point in lashing out: you definitely need to try to save the relationship. If finding compromises is impossible, then you don’t need to think that marriage or children will save you.

Marriage will add responsibilities and, as a result, new disagreements. Children mean responsibility and a lot of time. When you switch to taking care of your child, your significant other may switch to something else that is important to him. As a result, problems that were not resolved before the birth of the baby will overwhelm you with even greater force.

The secret of happy couples is simple: people do not look for flaws in their loved ones, but overcome difficulties only together. If you see that you and your partner are not ready to compromise, then you should not hold each other back. After all, if you quarrel with the wrong person, you run the risk of meeting someone much later with whom you would already enjoy a relationship.