How to write condolences on the death of your mother. What to say to a person who has lost a loved one? Sample condolence letter for mum's death

In life, every person has moments associated with the loss of loved ones, relatives or just acquaintances. And in the process of saying goodbye, despite the overwhelming feeling of loss, you need to say condolences about death - the words are short, but succinctly folded and enabling everyone present to feel the depth of the loss.

Condolences - I sincerely worry

The depth of the emotional state that accompanies the loss can interfere and limit the possibility of manifestation sincere feelings. A great desire to cheer up and somehow alleviate the suffering of others often puts us in a situation where excitement prevents the choice of the right words, and we slide into general phrases that can sometimes even hurt. And a person in need of support and sympathy hears clumsy formalized speech.

The sincerity of expressing condolences consists in conveying a piece of yourself to support loved ones in a mournful hour, in consolation and empathy in a visitor's grief. That is why it is so important right choice phrases - delicate, capacious, but at the same time short.

How not to go beyond morality?

The question of the appropriateness of condolences is quite relevant. The moment of expressing sympathy is in no way inferior in importance to words. Almost every person who needs to express participation in grief tends to think about the timeliness of contacting support, the perception of his words. Lack of experience, fear of seeing the face of death, strained relations with the deceased do not add decisiveness and only aggravate the situation. A person is lost and simply does not know how to behave.

Ignorance of the norms of etiquette in such cases gives rise to many questions:

When can you call?
Is it better to write or come directly?
Before or after the funeral to express condolences?

Despite the inner turmoil, you need to appear or call if there is a strong feeling of need for this, as well as confidence that support will ease the suffering of a person and help him through a difficult period. Even if the departed was not best friend, words of encouragement will help loved ones, and support is very much needed, including from outsiders, in the case when a person is grieving, lonely and needs protection. Excessive shyness is unacceptable.

Read also:

Sincerity and the desire to help, as well as support in difficult times, is important, and if condolences are accepted coldly, all the same, obligations to one's own conscience will be fulfilled. If misfortune came to the house loved one, you need to call or meet immediately as soon as the mournful news is received. Just familiar solidarity in grief can be expressed in the first days after the funeral. Later offering of condolences on death requires a monosyllabic justification. This is what the mourners need.

It is worth saying that one should not say words of condolence about death in verse, even briefly. It is better to leave versification for an epitaph, and in the hours of farewell to the dead, poetry will be inappropriate.

Formal phrases should be avoided. Using them, speaking in the eyes of the bereaved will look callous. Let's look at common mistakes:

It is not worth making a grieving person feel guilty about his condition by calling to calm down, stop grieving or shedding tears, as they will give him confidence that his loss is not appreciated.
It is not necessary to express condemnation of the deceased with the words that it was not worth doing something, since this caused death. Death absorbs all errors, both obvious and not.
Don't underestimate the cost of loss. It is impossible to take away from a person who has lost a loved one the right to mourn for the deceased.
Don't compare yourself to someone else who has experienced a similar loss, even to yourself. These words can only cause irritation, because nothing compares to personal sadness for a deceased loved one.
Do not try to find out the circumstances or reasons that led to the loss. There is no place for this in sorrow.
In the moments of farewell, one should not be distracted by extraneous topics.

Often, even a silent presence will be enough, because in moments of trouble and sorrow, we all need support and sympathy. Being alone with grief is very difficult and simply unbearable.

How to find the right words when writing condolences?

Expressing your feelings and finding the right words is difficult. Nevertheless, such a show of love and respect can bring great comfort to the mourners. Condolence letters are often kept for years and read over and over again. The purpose of their writing is to express respect for the deceased and support the mourners. Such a letter should come from the heart and be quite brief, contain personal memories of the deceased, expressed simply and sincerely.

Offer your help and support. Be specific and don't make promises you can't keep. Express your condolences to other family members. End the letter with an expression of love and support.

Below is an example of writing a letter of condolence to the wife of a colleague:

“Dear [Name].

I am so sorry to hear about the tragic death of your husband. [Name] was an inspiration to all who knew him, and the news of his death simply shocked us. I understand how you must feel. Of all our team, he was the most experienced and diligent employee, while maintaining natural modesty. Many of our achievements are directly related to the activities of [Name]. He will be greatly missed by colleagues and friends. My thoughts are with you and your family. With deep condolences. [Name]".

“When we lose a loved one here on earth, we get an angel in heaven who always sees us. Can you find comfort in the fact that you have an angel watching over you right now? We/I offer our/my most sincere condolences.”
“A person who leaves this earth does not really go anywhere, because he is still alive in our hearts and minds. Please accept my/our condolences and know that he/she will not be forgotten."
“May our Lord bless and comfort you and your family during this time of sorrow. Please accept my/our sincere condolences."
"Please accept our/my condolences and just know that we/I are always there for you and please feel free to ask for any help, especially during this difficult time."
"I/we can't even imagine how you feel right now, but would like to offer our prayers and condolences to you and your family."
"At this difficult time in your life, may my/our sympathy and sincere condolences help you."
“I/we express to you my/our most sincere condolences and grief.”
“At this difficult time in your life, we/I ask God to give you the strength you need to get through this ordeal. Know that you are in our/my thoughts and prayers.”

It should be understood that a mourning speech is delivered at the funeral, which is addressed to the entire circle of guests. The funeral is a rather difficult event and relatives choose a person with good diction and who knew the deceased well.

If you are reading a memorial speech, then you should not rely on improvisation, it is okay if you record the speech. Optimal speech time up to 5 minutes. You should not retell the entire biography of the deceased. The speaker must select the brightest, most important, good moments that show all the best qualities of the deceased.

Since you personally knew the deceased, you can remember a good deed, Nice words, or moments, as well as to emphasize how important this person was to you. At the end of the speech, they usually talk about what the deceased taught us, what benefits he did, that he lived his life not in vain.

Not allowed in funeral speech remember the shortcomings and bad deeds of the deceased, remember that a bad person can be said to be good. For example, if a person was greedy, then we can say that although he did not always know how to share joy with others, he is an example for us how to be happy ourselves and achieve everything with our own work! Thus, guests will learn about the deceased, about his busy life, good deeds.

Warm words warm the souls of guests and relatives, thus, the loss is easier to bear.

Speech example:

1. Appeal:

Dear guests of [Name]!
- Dear relatives and friends!
-Dear family and friends of our beloved [Name]

2. Who you are:

I am the husband of our revered [Name].
-I am the sister of [Name], who is remembered by us today.
- [Name] and I have worked/served together for a long time / in recent years.

3. About how it all happened:

Mother was ill for a long time; we knew what would happen, but when we got a call from the hospital…
-When I found out that [Name] had died, I couldn't think of anything else that evening.
-Although grandfather lived long life, the message of death startled me.
-Today is 9 days since my mother left us.
-A year ago, we said goodbye to [Name], a respected and worthy person.

4. A few words about best qualities deceased:

Grandma was the kindest person, often received guests in her cozy house in the village.
She was very generous and her smile made everyone feel good.
-He was known as an optimist and a person with whom it is easy to go through life.
-He was a support for all of us, you could always rely on him in difficult times.

Remember that the mourning speech at the funeral must come from your heart, just take a pen and write about what is in your soul, describe the deceased. Let your speech be better formally not correct, but sincere, which will touch the hearts of the guests.

Example of a mourning speech few facts from life are given here, but the speech was spoken from the heart:

Dear relatives and friends! I am the husband of our revered [Name] Having learned about the tragedy, for a long time I could not believe what had happened, all evening I could not think of anything and still it seems to me that this is just a dream.
Not many people know how pure and bright person [Name] was. Already at the age of 18, she made her first trip, and this passion to see the new remained forever in her heart. We met on one of these trips, it was an unforgettable month in an unforgettable city.
We both considered ourselves free as birds, and did not want to tie the knot, but this acquaintance turned everything upside down. She was an incredibly kind and generous person. She always helped strangers, always took into account the opinions of others and avoided conflicts. I am glad that, although so little, I was with her and was able to enjoy the purity, tenderness and feelings that [Name] gave me. I will always remember you [Name] your warm smile will forever remain in our hearts!

What do they say at the funeral?

At the wake, everyone can show their respect to the deceased. If you want to honor the memory of a loved one, prepare in advance, come up with good toast or a verse to stand at the memorial table and honor the memory of a dear person.

Before you sit down at the table, the deceased is honored with a minute of silence. The Orthodox begin the commemoration with the reading of Psalm 90 and the prayer "Our Father". The owner of the house invites guests to the table and people sit down, not sitting on an empty seat allocated to the deceased.

First word given to the owner of the house: -Today we spent the last journey of our loved one (calls him as it was customary in the family). May the earth rest in peace to him / her, and the memory is eternal. (Bows to a portrait or a free place of the deceased).

Everyone drinks (according to tradition, jelly). Not clinking. Then the word is passed to the leader. The host also delivers his speech, ending it with the words: - May the earth be (calls the name and patronymic of the deceased) in down, and the memory is eternal!

Then the leader gives mourning words to say to everyone from eldership to the minority: As a rule, these are toasts, at the end of which they say Let the earth be [Name] down, and memory eternal!

In memorial words, the use of aphorisms, favorite expressions of the deceased, stories from life is allowed. Any negative words, talk about bad character traits, showdown are not allowed.

Example: Friends, today is a day of mourning. There was a time when we had fun and rejoiced with the departed (her) from us. But today we ourselves drink this cup of sorrow, seeing off a person close to us on the last journey. Not everyone in the world was worthy of Dormition, like the Mother of God and other holy people. But we will keep in our hearts a good memory of our friend, having hope for the resurrection and for new meeting in a new place. Let's drink the wine of sorrow to the bottom for this!

Example: We are sad and sad And there are no other feelings. Let's remember all the parents, Let's remember all the relatives! Let's remember all the departed, In the prime of their lives, Brothers, sisters of the dead, Friends and strangers! They once lived And made us happy, Laughed and loved, Cared about us. For a long time or recently They are no longer with us, And we tremblingly bring a bouquet to the grave!

Or just cases from life, someone will remember how well he drew, someone how they worked together perfectly, and someone will tell about his good deed.

Example: "Our grandfather was very kind and a good man. His path was long and difficult. All the difficulties that befell the country, he perceived as his own. He worked and raised children without complaining about the lack of benefits, lack of food or amenities. He raised children, was a support for grandchildren. We will all miss this wonderful man. Blessed memory to him!

It is necessary to pronounce memorial words while standing. After your funeral words, the head of the family necessarily ends your words with the phrase - May the earth be (calls the name and patronymic of the deceased) in peace, and the memory is eternal! Or for believers, the Kingdom of heaven to him / her and eternal rest.

When everyone speaks out, the head of the house thanks everyone for the kind words, once again wishes everyone to be strong in order to survive the bitterness of loss, to maintain firmness at all times. Everyone gets up, drinks, bows and sits down again. By tradition, the last toast is made by the eldest woman in the family, or the eldest of the relatives. She also thanks everyone for coming and honoring the memory of the deceased and, if necessary, invites everyone to the next commemoration. After the last toast, they do not say goodbye, but bow to the portrait of the deceased (or to an empty place at the table) and, at the exit, bring words of condolence to relatives.

How to express condolences on death?

What shouldn't be said? Often in such difficult days, it is very difficult for us to formulate our thoughts and correctly express our condolences. We begin to speak general phrases, instead of just supporting people dear to us in a difficult moment. Consider what is better not to say when expressing your condolences:

2. God judged, God's will for everything, God took away. You can’t say such a phrase to a mother who has lost a small innocent child, thereby you seem to be saying that God did this to them. It is better to say that now a person is in a better world.

3. How are you? No need to dryly ask relatives how they are doing, if there is a need to keep up the conversation, it is better to ask how you feel? What's on your mind? However, if you are not a close person, then it is enough to take an interest in the funeral itself, to ask if there is something that I can do for you.

4. Everything will be fine, don't cry! You should not try to cheer up the relatives of the deceased with such expressions, after all, this is mourning, and these days relatives most often want to think about today, and not about the future.

5. Future-oriented wishes do not apply to words of condolence: “I wish you to recover faster after such a tragedy”

6. It is considered bad form to find positive moments in the tragedy and devalue the loss. Nothing, give birth! He was in a lot of pain, and finally got over it! Remember that people have gathered here to honor the memory of the deceased.

7. You are not the only one, it happens worse, that's what happened to ... .. Such statements are tactless and do not help to alleviate the pain of loss.

8. You can not look for someone to blame. We hope this driver gets jailed! We hope this killer will be punished. Such statements also do not apply to words of condolence.

9. “You know, he drank a lot and was a drug addict, such people do not live long.” Such statements are also tactless, about the deceased, or good or nothing.

10. Questions “How and where did it happen?” and others, it is also not appropriate to ask for condolences.

Verbal condolences to the loved ones of the deceased

The most important thing is that your words of condolence are sincere and from the heart. For example, if you did not know the deceased and his relatives well, then a simple handshake or hug with words of condolences to your loss will be enough. The same applies to people who simply do not have words or only two words, condolences to you. You can simply hug, take by the hand, put your hand on the shoulder, thereby showing that you sincerely sympathize and share your grief with the relatives of the deceased.

It is considered good form to offer your help, ask if there is something I can do for you? Most often you will be politely answered, no thanks, not worth it. But if help is really needed, then it can be help in preparing dishes for the commemoration, in submitting notes to the church for holding church liturgies for the deceased, and even material assistance.

How to find words of condolence for death?

To make it easier to express your condolences, think about the deceased, who he was to you, remember good cases from life, his actions and joint deeds. Also think about the feelings of relatives, how hard it is for them what they feel. This will help you find words for condolences.

If you feel guilty about something before the deceased, good tone will be your sincerely excuse After all, condolences are both forgiveness and reconciliation. You don’t need to squeeze words out of yourself, if there aren’t any, then just come up and sincerely say how you condole, in your eyes and everything will be visible. Below are condolence word examples:

He meant a lot to me and to you, I grieve with you. Let it be a consolation to us that he gave so much love and warmth.

Let's pray for him. There are no words to express your grief.

She meant a lot in your life and mine. Never forget…

It is very hard to lose such a dear person. I share your grief. How can I help you? You can always count on me.

I'm sorry, please accept my condolences. If I can do something for you, I will be very happy.

I would like to offer my help. I would be happy to help you...

Unfortunately, in this imperfect world, this has to be experienced. He was a bright man whom we loved. I will not leave you in your grief. You can count on me at any moment.

This tragedy affected everyone who knew her. You, of course, are now the hardest of all. I want to assure you that I will never leave you. And I will never forget her.

Please, let's walk this path together. Unfortunately, I only now realized how unworthy my bickering and quarrels with this bright and dear person were.

Excuse me! I grieve with you. This is a huge loss. And a terrible tragedy. I pray and will always pray for you and for him.

It's hard to put into words how much good he did me. All our disagreements are dust. And what he did for me, I will carry through my whole life. I pray for him and mourn with you. I will gladly help you at any time.

We intuitively and subconsciously understand how to behave in joyful, easy life situations and festive events. But there are events of a tragic nature - the death of a loved one, for example. Many are lost, faced with their unpreparedness for loss, for the majority such events are beyond acceptance and awareness.

People experiencing loss are easily vulnerable, acutely feel insincerity and pretense, their feelings are overwhelmed with pain, they need help to calm it down, accept it, reconcile it, but in no case add pain with an accidentally thrown tactless word, an incorrect phrase.

You need to be able to show increased tact and correctness, sensitivity and condescension. It is better to remain silent, showing a delicate understanding, than to cause additional pain, hurt disturbed feelings, hook on nerves overloaded with experiences.

We will try to help you understand how to behave in a situation where a person next to you has suffered grief - the loss of a loved one, how to condole and find words that make the person feel your support and sincere sympathy.

We must take into account the existing differences in condolences.

The form of expressing condolences for the loss will vary:

Grandparents, relative;
mother or father;
brother or sister;
son or daughter - child;
husband or wife;
boyfriend or girlfriend;
colleagues, employee.

Because the depth of experiences varies.

Also, the expression of condolences depends on the severity of the grieving person's feelings about what happened:

Imminent death due to old age;
inevitable death due to serious illness;
premature, sudden death;
tragic death, accident.

But there is the main, general condition, independent of the cause of the death that has come - the genuine sincerity of the expression of your grief.

The condolence itself should be short in form, but deep in content. Therefore, you need to find the most sincere words that accurately convey the depth of your sympathy and your willingness to provide support.

In this article, we will provide samples and examples various forms expressions of condolences, we will help you choose mournful words.

You will need: sincerity; patience; attention to the person; sympathy;
Tip 1

Form and method of filing

Condolences will be distinctive features according to the form and method of filing, depending on its purpose.

Purpose:

Personal condolences to family and friends.
Official individual or collective.
Obituary in the newspaper.
Farewell words of mourning at the funeral.
Funeral words at the wake: for 9 days, for the anniversary.

Submission method:

The timeliness factor is important, so the postal delivery method should only be used to send a telegram. Of course, the fastest way to express your condolences is to use modern communication tools: email, Skype, Viber ... but they are suitable for confident Internet users, and these should be not only senders, but also recipients.

Using SMS to show sympathy and empathy is acceptable only if there are no other opportunities for contact with a person, or if the status of your relationship is a distant acquaintance or formal friendship.

Submission form:

In writing:

Telegram;
email;
electronic postcard;
an obituary is a piece of mourning in a newspaper.

In oral form:

In a telephone conversation;
in person.

In prose: Suitable for both written and verbal expression of grief.
In verse: Suitable for writing mourning.
Tip 2

Important highlights

All verbal condolences should be short in form.

Official condolences are more delicately expressed in writing. For this, a heartfelt verse is more suitable, to which you can pick up a photo of the deceased, corresponding electronic pictures and postcards.
Personal individual condolences must be exclusive, and can be expressed both verbally and in writing.
For the dearest and closest people, it is important to express or write mournful condolences in your sincere words, not formal, therefore, not stereotyped.
Since verses are rarely exclusive, exclusively yours, so listen to your heart, and it will prompt you with words of comfort and support.
Not only words of condolence should be sincere, but also an offer of any help that you can afford: financial, organizational.

Be sure to mention the distinctive personal virtues and character traits of the deceased person that you would like to keep in your memory forever as a model: wisdom, kindness, responsiveness, optimism, love of life, hard work, honesty.…

This will be an individual part of condolence, the main part of which can be formulated according to the approximate model proposed in our article.

Tip 3

Universal mournful texts

“Let the earth rest in peace” - this is a traditional ritual phrase that is said after a completed burial, it can be a condolence at a wake, suitable even for atheists.
"We all mourn your irreparable loss."
"Unspeakable pain from loss."
"Sincerely condolences and sympathy for your grief."
“Please accept my deepest condolences on the death of a loved one.”
“Let us keep in our hearts the bright memory of the deceased wonderful person.”

Help can be offered in the following ways:

“We are ready to share the burden of your grief, to be close to you and provide the necessary all possible assistance to you and your family.”
“Surely, you will need to solve a lot of questions. You can count on us, accept our help."

Tip 4

On the death of mother, grandmother

"The death of the closest person - mother - is an irreparable grief."
"The bright memory of her will forever be in our hearts."
“How much we did not have time to tell her during her lifetime!”
"We sincerely mourn and condole with you at this bitter moment."
"Hold on! In memory of her. She wouldn't want to see you in despair."

Tip 5

On the death of a husband, father, grandfather

“I offer my sincere condolences and express my deep sympathy for the death of a loved one who was a reliable support for you and your family.”
"In memory of this strong man you must show fortitude and wisdom in order to survive this grief and continue what he did not have time to complete.
"We will carry a bright and kind memory of him through our lives."

Tip 6

On the death of a sister, brother, friend, loved one

“It hurts to realize the loss of a loved one, but it is even more difficult to come to terms with the departure of young people who have not known life. Everlasting memory!"
“Let me express my most sincere condolences on the occasion of a heavy, irreparable loss!”
“Now you have to become a support for your parents! Remember this and hold on!”
“God help you survive and endure the pain of this loss!”
“For the sake of your children, their peace and well-being, you need to cope with this grief, find the strength to live and learn to look to the future.”
"Death does not take away love, your love is immortal!"
"Blessed memory of a wonderful person!"
"He will forever remain in our hearts!"

Tip 7

On the death of a believer

The text of condolences may contain the same mournful words as for a secular person, but Orthodox Christian should be added:

ritual phrase:

"Kingdom of heaven and eternal rest!"
"God is merciful!"

Prayer phrase:

“God rest his soul, forgive all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant the Kingdom of Heaven!”

Conclusion

“The life of the dead continues in the memory of the living” - these words belong to the ancient sage Cicero. And while we are alive, our departed loved ones live in our hearts!

Condolences on death are words of grief and complicity with which relatives, acquaintances and colleagues support the relatives of a deceased person. Such words are addressed orally or in writing.

Life is fleeting and sometimes interrupted. Even if a tragic event happened to unfamiliar people, the news of this is shocking. The deceased may be a distant relative, colleague, housemate, with whom they occasionally exchanged phrases. To express condolences on the death in such a case is the only correct solution. In this way, you show your sympathy and help to cope with the surging grief. Of course, all this works if the words of condolence were uttered from pure heart and selected according to the circumstances of life.

How to express condolences

How to express condolences on the death of your family and friends, friends and colleagues who have suffered a loss? It seems that the words are banal and empty. But condolences are a must - it's a long tradition of expressing support for those who are grieving. We empathize, so we are together. In moments of grief, even a few words of encouragement will help comfort the grieving and show them that we are there and ready to help. How to express condolences is not so important: the main thing is to say something from the heart, show participation and support those who are grieving.

Verbal condolences to the families of the deceased

Most often, condolences to relatives are expressed in person, in writing or by phone. Orally speaking words of condolence is preferable, especially if you live nearby or meet at work or other public place. Other forms of condolences are used when the addressee lives far away or if you need to be guided by the rules of etiquette, which prescribe condolences in writing.

Another case of expressing verbal condolences is a speech at a funeral or during a memorial meal. Since such a ceremony is usually attended by people who knew the deceased well, it is usually not difficult to find sincere wishes.

Condolences on death in writing

Condolences on death in writing - ways of expressing:

By letter or postcard. Old, but not lost relevance way. Often required by etiquette. Condolence cards should be selected in accordance with the sad event, the picture should not be defiant or festive.
The inscription on the mourning tape. Usually it is an invariable attribute of a ritual wreath or a basket of flowers. You can read more about inscriptions in our article Inscriptions on wreaths.
Email. Most often, this option is used to express condolences on the death of people abroad.
Obituary in the newspaper. They choose the printed edition that the relatives of the untimely departed subscribe to or read.
SMS informing. If you are not a mobile operator, beware of doing this. Better to make a short phone call. Exception: the subscriber is out of reach for a long time.

Words of condolence

How to find words of condolence for people who have suffered an irreparable loss? It often seems that all the phrases are banal and can only offend the relatives of the deceased. Believe me, in moments of grief, any encouragement and manifestation of participation is very important. Relatives of the deceased experience severe stress and are not always ready to show their emotions to others. Support and affection from your side will help alleviate their pain at least for a while.

Examples of verbal condolences on death

Mourning words should not contain falsehood or pathos. You say them to support another person in a difficult moment, and not for expression own feelings. If you really have nothing to say, limit yourself to concise phrases. The relative position of the mourner with the deceased should also be taken into account. It will be strange for a person in grief to hear “Blessed memory to your dad. Good memories are what will help to survive this loss, ”if in fact he did not have the best relationship with his father.

I am shocked by the sad news. Be strong.
My heart is out of place from what I heard. Rest in peace __.
I can't believe that such a person has left us. This is an irreparable loss.
The loss of a mother (father, brother, etc.) is always hard to bear. We sympathize and empathize.
The deceased and I did not always find mutual language. Now I want to apologize for the differences. I am not always right either.
Please accept our words of comfort. How can we help you at this moment?
Our sincere condolences to your entire family. We know how kind and sensitive N was.
Sad event. It's hard to talk about it. We hope he finds peace in heaven.
This is a bitter loss. I'm sorry she didn't live as long as she would have liked.
hard to pick up the right words at such a moment. Just remember that you can always turn to me for help.

Words of condolence can also be more personalized. This is quite appropriate if you personally knew the deceased. When condoling about death, you can’t talk about bad things, for example, about the reprehensible actions of the deceased. Only good things should be said, focusing on what positively characterizes the deceased.

How to write a condolence

When writing mourning words in writing, the question often arises of how to write condolences. In this case, you should stick to concise phrases. Poems of condolence for death are appropriate for an obituary or mourning tape. In other cases, they will give away pathos and pretentiousness. Condolences in prose usually contain 2-3 sentences. The brevity and capacity of the content is more important here. After all, a postcard or a letter will be re-read several times.

__ was a kind and sympathetic woman. We mourn and remember with you.
It's sad that the people we love are leaving our lives. We offer our sincere condolences.
With the departure of __, we have lost a lot. We will miss her smile. Please accept our words of sympathy.
We offer our sincere condolences to your entire family for their irreparable loss. God rest his soul.
Our deepest condolences on the unexpected death of ___. We pray and mourn.
All who knew __ are now mourning. It is unbearably bitter to lose loved ones in such a early age. We will always remember him.
It doesn't matter how long a person has lived - what matters is how much good he has brought into this world. May God reward him for his good deeds.
We grieve with you for the irretrievable loss. We believe that such a bright person will definitely go to Paradise.
Only with the departure of __ did we feel how great her love was. She will always live in our bright memories.
We empathize with you. There is pain for which there is no cure. We believe that the Lord will not leave you in such a difficult moment.

You might be interested:

You can't prepare for death. Each person faced the loss of loved ones, loved ones, so many are familiar with the pain of loss.

But often we do not know how to calm down, support the grieving, how to express condolences in connection with the death of his loved ones, relatives.

note! Offering condolences to a grieving person is a must. This is a tribute.

But it is worth remembering that people after the death of loved ones are in a stressful, shock state. Words of condolence on the occasion of death are chosen carefully, carefully.

Examples of condolences on the occasion of death in your own words to the relatives of the deceased:

“The event shocked me. It is difficult to accept and reconcile.
"Let me share the pain of loss with you."
"The news of his death was a terrible blow."
"I sympathize with your pain."
"We empathize with your loss."
"I offer my condolences."
“I was shocked by his death. I will pray for his soul."
"The deceased meant a lot to us, it's a pity that he left us."
"Grief cannot be expressed in words, but you can always count on our support in difficult times."
"We mourn with you."

Sometimes it's better to express grief briefly.

Short and sincere words of sympathy:

"Hold on."
"Be strong."
"I'm sorry".
"My condolences".
"Sorry".
"It's a heavy loss."

If a grieving person who deeply believes in God, then they say such words of grief:

"The Kingdom of heaven".
"Rest in peace".
"Lord, rest with the Saints!"
"The world is bright to his ashes."
"Rest in the Kingdom of Heaven."

Table: rules for presenting words of condolence

What not to say

Everyone wants to support the grieving. But there are a number of words and expressions that are not appropriate at a funeral. Expressions can cause anger, aggression, resentment.

What not to do:

Comfort the future. At the death of a baby, do not say "you are still young, give birth again." It's tactless.
It is difficult for parents to accept the loss of their own child, because they rejoiced at him, dreamed of the future.
The words “do not worry, you are young, you are still getting married” sound like “saying goodbye to your beloved.” It's cruel. For people who have lost children, spouses, parents at the time of their funeral, there is no future.
They are not ready to think about it. Their pain at the moment of loss is strong and painful.
Look for the extreme. If there is a culprit in death, do not remind about it. It is forbidden to say what would have happened if they had acted differently. It is not recommended to blame the deceased.
Examples: “it’s his own fault, he drank a lot of alcohol”, “this is his punishment for his sins.” Do not defame the memory of the deceased, because it is not in vain that they say that only good things should be said about the dead.
Asking you to stop crying. The mourner should mourn the dead and calm the soul.

Forbidden phrases:

« Death has taken its toll, do not shed tears". A person in the phase of acute shock does not finally understand what happened, that his close and dear one has passed away forever. Such words sound cruel.
« Don't worry, everything will be fine- sounds like a fairy tale or a cruel mockery. A person is not ready to accept such a statement, he does not believe that the pain will let him go and life will get better.
« Time cures". Not even time can heal spiritual wounds. The pain of loss will always be there. Any person who has experienced death will confirm this.
« So he was exhausted, he is fine there". If the deceased was very ill, then words are unlikely to calm the mourner.
He has one desire - to see a loved one nearby, and not to think that he is well in heaven.
« Think about it, it’s even worse for others, at least you have relatives left". Don't use comparisons. Respect the person's pain.
« I understand how it hurts" is a common and tactless phrase. Understanding a mourner is difficult.

Never discount the loss with the words “it’s good that you didn’t get hurt”, “think about the children, parents”, etc.

For those who mourn, death is a shock in life. He is not ready to look for positive moments in the loss of loved ones.

Important! It is worth remembering that condolences are offered from the heart. But this does not mean that you are allowed to say everything that comes to mind.

Grieving people do not perceive reality well, their subconscious is clouded with grief and resentment, so you should not provoke a person.

During the shock phase, one should not be interested in the details of the death of the deceased.

condolences in writing

Don't be sorry:

In verse.
By SMS.

This is neglect. Funerals are no place for poetry, and texting should be replaced with a phone call. If it is not possible to call, then you can express condolences in writing.

Sample text:

« We deeply mourn the death of the deceased.. He was an amazing, kind and well-mannered person, surprising with his joy and spontaneity.
It is difficult to write, the hand does not hold the pen from grief, but still it is necessary. We are sorry that this happened, but we are happy that fate brought us together with such an amazing person. Peace be upon him on earth and in heaven."
« The news of the loss shocked my mind. I convey my condolences and express deep respect to the deceased.”
« It is difficult to find words when a storm rages in the soul and the bitterness of loss. Can't believe this happened. Our condolences. We pray for him."

Choose sensitive phrases that do not go beyond morality. In the text, you need to briefly acknowledge the loss, support the relatives of the deceased.

When writing a letter to relatives, describe the memories associated with it. When writing a text to a colleague, remember his business, personal qualities.