Let's find out what kind of child you were. How to talk children: open-ended questions. What baby can do

The question remains open: does the child choose toys based on their own, while still hidden, preferences or these preferences arise precisely because he is most often bought toys of this particular type.

Psychologists generally give an affirmative answer to both options. From their point of view, a person makes an idea of \u200b\u200bthe world around him and his place in it quite early: by the age of five or six his worldview has already been formed. This is referred to as imprinting. Thanks to imprinting, most people are so conservative. This is how it all happens.

A newborn is born a perfect alien and trustingly accepts the conditions of a new game. “Ah, this is how everything is arranged here in an interesting way! The dog says “av-av”, the pussycat says “meow-meow”, and the pope says “Give me poison and five minutes of rest.” White pillows float across the sky, Christmas trees grow in the forest and bears live, the janitor Uncle Petya smells funny, and the girls need to be beaten on the head with a spatula because they are fools and sneakers. ” Five or six years of knowledge about the world flow into our heads in a wide stream, after which we say: “Enough, I understood all your strange rules, now let's play for real!” From now on, all new ideas will be difficult to integrate into a solid system of basic, imprinting knowledge. The role that children's toys play in this basic knowledge is enormous. It is their children who use as models to verify the incoming information. Rolling a bunny on a train or shooting fire-breathing wet bogs from a laser slingshot, the child creates scenarios of his actions in any possible future situation. So all this colorful rubbish with broken legs in his room is a huge laboratory in which a child designs his biography.

Theoretically (mind you, we do not give guarantees!) You can influence this process by acquiring toys for the child that will guide him in the direction you want. To make it clear the direction, we drew arrows from each toy in the direction of who your child can become if he is fond of this particular thing. Note that we showed humanity: in general, we have several positive options for the development of events, and there is only one unpleasant sentence.

Typewriter

Love for everything that is on wheels and knows how to quickly do “Whack-Whack” appears for a reason. This is a response to the inner protest that the child experiences because of the need to exist in such a miserable, slow and awkward body. This body does not know how to fly, it needs to poop, then write, and if it crashes into the wall with a running start, then it will cry for a long time. In addition, it is so small, and all adults around are healthy and cool. The news that we are able to improve our stunted bodies with the help of cars, delights the child: from now on, he can crawl for hours on the floor, rolling a rat-sized dump truck in front of him and making sounds of a roaring motor (very similar). Famous American child psychologist John Holt advises parents of small motorists pay more attention to children's sports. Such a “physical inferiority complex”, if the machines themselves cannot cope with it, can lead to a number of psychological problems in adulthood. For example, to the manic desire to pump up a mountain of muscles or pump your virtual super double to the 80th level. By the way, love for cars since childhood is purely masculine. Girls are much safer about toy cars, because most of them are not too worried about a lack of their own power, but calmly sits on their dad’s arms and shows with a finger what needs to be done, who to get from the closet and which bunk to drive out.

Weapon

It doesn’t matter if the sword is made of a mop, the birch bow or a real flamethrower made of the best Chinese plastic. In any case, this is a magic wand for instantly killing problems. Nervous mothers are very fond of telling on TV how stupid it is to give children weapons, even toy ones, and develop aggression in innocent crumbs. They can be reassured: aggressive children do not need weapons. Aggressive children fight with their fists and the first objects that turn up under the arm, not imagining that the stool in their hand is a flaming magical Escalibur. Most of all, non-aggressive children like toy weapons, but they have a rich imagination that instantly transfers them from the nursery to distant planets, to criminal areas or to the bloody past, where they play the struggle for survival. Like cars, pistols and machine guns indicate that the child is not very sure that he would have won in such a fight if it had really happened. In the future, he will not get involved in problems, but he will gladly watch them from the side, discussing how all this could be remarkably solved.

Soldiers

Watching your son set up his thousands of regiments (from the old warriors on the right flank to the Dead Head division in the rearguard next to the Indians), take your time proudly to think that your future Suvorov is growing. Most likely, your future accountant is growing. To shoot this whole horde in a minute from a plastic gun, it needs to be set up for an hour. But this is all the beauty. The tendency to systematize facts, to collect and collect, to distinguish objects by the smallest details and group them according to various characteristics speaks of a consistent mind, striving to accumulate information. These qualities are useful in science, but they are especially in demand in jurisprudence, statistics, financial management, etc. However, keep in mind that without sufficient motivation (for example, in the form of a bunch of parental money spent on his education), such a systematizer is quite may be satisfied with the career of a cast of serial blanks at some mossy factory. If only they turned out so delightfully neat.

Doll

This is one of the most difficult, important and even somewhat dangerous toys for a child. Boys usually rarely like to play with them, especially because from infancy they are told: this thing is only for girls, and a man is ashamed to mess with dolls. Nevertheless, if your son delightedly froze in front of the bar with Barbie or dummies, do not rush to run after the valerian.

“It is mistakenly believed that girls playing with dolls are driven by maternal instinct,” writes Violet Aucklander, an investigator in child psychology, author of the book “Windows into the World of the Child”. “The girl talking to the doll is primarily engaged in introspection, researching her own essence and the nature of man in general.” A doll is a model of a person, including the child himself. And that is why girls dolls cause less interest among boys for their apparent sexual identity.

But the boy carries out similar psychological manipulations with soldiers, brave astronauts and brave cowboys. Therefore, it is very desirable that he has in the children's dolls-men not the smallest size. By reviving the doll and endowing it with a part of consciousness, the child, in addition, learns the most important function of our kind - communicating with our own kind, contact and transfer of information from person to person. “It is by communicating with the doll that the child formulates norms of behavior, emotional assessments, his first general ethical theses,” Aucklander continues. “A doll is an all-seeing and all-hearing, all-understanding object that is simultaneously completely submissive to its owner.” Simply put, a doll for a child is a god, a slave, a friend, and at the same time it is his own reflection. Unlike a living person - a brother, friend or parent, she does not have her own will, which makes her an indispensable object for any kind of psychological training.

By the way, partially the functions of dolls can be performed by domestic animals, especially dogs, which, for all their inhumanity, have enough intelligence to become suitable, to all interlocutor interlocutor.

Teddy bear

Or a bunny, a dog, a horse - it doesn’t matter. Firstly, children who prefer the model of an animal rather than a person as a breastplate and do not like dolls at the same time demonstrate a rather developed sense of species self-identification. They are suspicious and even hostile towards everything that looks like a person, but is not a person. This important mechanism is built into the majority of living creatures by nature in order to regulate sexual contact with similar, but unsuitable for breeding species. An object that, in appearance, resembles its own, but has a number of “alien” characteristics, causes rejection, fear, or squeamishness. By the way, this indicates a healthy desire to continue a kind. Such children are often embarrassed to look at monkeys, are disgusted by clowns, afraid of people with physical disabilities or representatives of other races. Dolls seem to them an unpleasant parody of a person, so they avoid playing with them. Secondly, an important feature of toy (and living) animals is their softness and fluffiness, which are very important for children, for some reason often experiencing fear. Touching the soft, we perceive it as calming and protective, transporting us to the distant primitive infancy, when we escaped from dangers, clinging tightly to the luxurious manes or wool of our mothers.

Constructor

Take your time to buy literature on juvenile geniuses by looking at Notre Dame assembled from Lego and the current Ferrari, screwed from those creepy iron plates with holes that you yourself only shot from a slingshot into pigeons that had the imprudence to fly past yours window. Most young geniuses would be very skeptical of the prospect of sitting for half a day, screwing, according to the instructions, part A into hole B. No wonder the designer is a favorite toy of autistic children, which are most admired when a pyramid is made out of five circles, but which are capable of falling into hysteria if someone slivers a circle of the wrong diameter there and spoils the whole logical and only true composition. The pleasure that everything is going according to plan, the satisfaction of the expected results of painstaking work is typical of conservative children who can brilliantly show themselves in those professions where composure, accuracy, aggressiveness and strict adherence to the protocol are important. A child with pronounced creative abilities is more likely to make an ugly tower out of multi-colored cubes, cover it with ketchup, walled up a cat in it, and try to set this whole structure on fire in order to send it to the moon.

Non-toys

In two years, when the concept of private property is not yet accessible to the child, he plays with anything horrible. The most important thing in the subject for him is novelty and unusualness. But already at the age of three, the child learns the concepts of “mine” and “alien” and begins to consider his toys as a legitimate part of himself. He prefers to play with them and raids on alien possessions only if something terribly interesting has started up there - such as his father’s new laptop, which will surely swim perfectly in the bath, if you pour more shampoo there. But some children, to the desperation of their parents, continue to reject toys, entertaining themselves with household items. For the hundredth time, having fainted at the sight of flour scattered across the floor with a beautifully laid out pattern of mother's birth control pills on it, parents usually drag the baby to an appointment with a psychotherapist, who explains why this happens: from deep distrust to others. The child suspects that he, as a small and weak person, is rubbish (he has a hand in his heart, this petty skeptic is right in some ways), and parents keep the coolest things for themselves. On the one hand, such a denial of property can make a child a future fighter for freedom and brotherhood throughout the world. But it is also possible that a pathological kleptomaniac will grow. So often invite guests to the child so that he, seeing how aliens capture his planes and clockwork frogs, understand their value.

Paints, pencils, plasticine and clay

The house may not have bread and whole shoes, but it is desirable that it contains the above items. Not because you want to grow Picasso or Michelangelo, but because the creative abilities come in handy for the child in absolutely any field. The ability to create images and objects from scratch, practically from nothing, is laid in early childhood. It is very important not to tease the baby for those terrible mazyuk which it produces, not to teach him to draw houses "correctly", not to paint coloring books in which specially trained adults have already come up with and painted for him. Up to five or six years, you can not show him purposefully the paintings of other artists, not even teach the basics of technology, because he will always have time to become a copycat and copyist, and in children's creativity absolute freedom of expression is much more important. If the child is chatting when he draws; if he accompanies the damage to the paper with arguments like “And then ours fly up - waste! Bang! Killed and falls ”, then everything goes right, fantasy begins, images replace each other, the young demiurge creates imaginary worlds. Even if these worlds end with big brown tempers on the whole sheet, refrain from criticizing. You just don’t see how the boiling of life is happening there, inside, under all these blots and squiggles.

Find out what your baby will be like!

1. parents are friends for the crumbs, he will grow up a kind person
2. emotionally give the child a lot, do the best for him
3. easy to communicate with children, develop a child’s quick thinking, quick wit
4. easily find emotional contact with the child, take their parenting seriously
Show full ..
5. love the baby immensely, receiving reciprocal love from the baby, but not enough attention is paid to his inner world
6. Mom expresses her feelings more by doing, dad can be entrusted with changing diapers, doing algebra, physical development - he can handle
7. children will respect the pope in every way; mom for her child is more like a friend
8. they want to constantly keep their children in their control, but they are insanely attached to the baby and demonstrate severity more for order
9. Mom is more attentive to the child, but when the baby grows up, a strong friendship will connect them with dad
10. take the problem of raising the younger generation very seriously, which can cause a child to feel unfreedom
11. try to instill in the baby a breadth of views and interests, develop both logical and creative thinking
12. love children very much, feel them as a continuation of themselves
13. complete understanding with the child
14. different temperaments of mom and dad can negatively affect the baby, but he will grow up with a strong character
15. Mom and Dad have common views on raising a child, their child receives maximum attention and love from parents
16. both want to be the main in the family, someone needs to give in for the well-being of the child
17. Do not be stubborn, and everything will be fine; if parents find a common language, they will be able to give the child a happy childhood
18. strong relationships very well affect the inner world of children
19. for the sake of saving the family, you should calm down your ardor, because of frequent quarrels, the baby may become isolated
20. lack of understanding can be a serious reason to change something, for the good of the family you have to give up
21. mom and dad are great friends and a reliable support for a child, children with optimistic outlooks are brought up in such a family
22. parents can get bored with each other, do not let petty quarrels destroy the psyche of the child
23. warm relations, family relations, the child will grow up in love and understanding. Both are great parents!
24. complete understanding - just what you need for a small child
25. a lot of resentment and omission of parents can cause resentment of a child, he can become isolated
26. a gorgeous couple is a great example to follow as a baby, in the future he will just find a common language with people
27. you will not be very well together, but try to focus on the kid, let him not feel a lack of attention
28. tender relationship and joy in communicating with the child
29. strong attraction both to each other and to the baby
30. learn to listen to a child
31. strong love and understanding in the family, excellent parents!
32. a lot of adventure and joy, children with you will not be bored
33. not comfortable relationships can cause a divorce, it is better to tolerate each other while the child grows up
34. many experiences both because of the relationship with the baby, and your
35. excellent understanding, the atmosphere of happiness very well affects the child and helps in education
36. warm and tender feelings will make your child a romantic, it’s very easy for you to find a common language with him
37. little understand their child
38. A strong union of parents contributes to the good development of the child, he feels “like behind a stone wall”
39. little in common leads to boredom in relationships, but if you learn to overcome difficulties, children will grow up comprehensively developed
40. there is a desire for each other, use this to educate your child
41. insults and misunderstanding very badly affect the family, children are very susceptible to insults not only in their address, but also between parents
42. You can give many happy days to your baby
43. Your offspring will be comfortable growing in such a strong family
44. little good in relationships, do not show your big quarrels to the child - this can cause him to be isolated
45. successful union no matter what, instill in children a feeling of love from an early age
46. \u200b\u200bdisputes adversely affect the baby, try to restrain yourself for the sake of well-being in the family
47. happy relationship, they will do everything for children. Beware of oversupply of small
48. a lot of difficulties, a little romance, but despite this you can become exemplary parents
49. together badly, uncertainty and nervousness - your quarrels are harmful to the child, be careful
50. The relationship is short-lived, so you should not think about children, but if you are ready to give in to each other, then children will grow up strong personalities
51. full understanding is what is needed for your child. Know, he grows in love
52. your children may be bored with you in order to maintain good relations with them - try to pay more attention to their creative development
53. such a union can overcome difficulties in raising children
54. will have to make considerable efforts for the well-being of the child
55. your attitude towards children - you will not wish better! A pair like yours is very easy to educate
56. reluctance to understand each other can cause frequent quarrels with children
57. stormy and passionate romance
58. warm, good relations in the family - your children will not be deprived of attention and will grow up very sensitive and responsive
59. a very passionate union will interfere with the upbringing of the child, he may lose your attention and grow self-contained
60. if you wish, you can achieve excellent relations with the child, such parents know what the children need
61. mom and dad are connected by a strong friendship, the baby will not feel a lack of attention in such a family
62. give your child the opportunity to express themselves
63. you can safely trust each other - parents like you can teach a lot to your children
64. try to spend more time with your kids, without your care they will feel lonely
65. friendship and love in such a family are perfectly balanced, you can only envy your educational qualities
66. parents are very different, try not to give your disputes a bad influence on the child
67. in such a family, children feel forgotten, you will have to make a lot of efforts to prove the opposite! Give the pupils more attention
68. if the fish obey, then a happy childhood is guaranteed for the baby! Scorpio dad knows his job
69. you know how to develop children spiritually
70. if Capricorn is not a bore, then everything will be fine
71. look for more common interests with the child
72. The same tastes and similar characters will help to find a common point of view in the education of the baby
73. such a union rarely succeeds in making a child happy, but I advise you to prove the opposite)
74. The common interests and spiritual closeness of such a couple contribute to the comprehensive development of your whims
75. if parents learn to give in to each other, children will grow up kind and responsive
76. indifference of these signs to each other will lead the child into a dead end, make efforts for well-being in the family
77. creative parents will give their child a cheerful and vibrant childhood
78. children bored with you, try to diversify their education

Probably, many dialogues may seem familiar to many parents:

- How was your day at school?
- As usual.
- What did they give you for lunch today?
- I do not remember.
- What do you think about the film?
- Fine.

Parents ask questions - children shrug. Parents worry that you won’t get an extra word out of their children, and they sincerely wonder why adults care about lunch at a big break, and are reluctant to answer, but they can eagerly talk about the level of a computer game that was played yesterday.

At such moments, it seems that the children are not ready for our curiosity and attention. On the one hand, the matter may not be suitable for questioning the time: after a day spent in kindergarten and school, the children get tired, they want to change the subject of conversations and switch to other activities. But there is one more explanation: we often choose closed questions for communication with children and formulate our interest in such a way that the answers can only be monosyllabic:

Did you eat well today?
Have you asked a lot of lessons?
Have you prepared for the test?
How are you?

Predictable answers of "yes", "no" or "good" are usually obtained to such questions. But parents, of course, want to keep abreast of what children do outside the home, what they dream about, what they want to learn, with whom they like to be friends, what problems they have in communicating with their peers. Open-ended questions, with detailed answers, can encourage children to think, especially if they are formulated in such a way that they will be interesting to answer. For example, about a day at school or kindergarten, you can ask this:

What game did you have the most fun today?
What toys did you play with today? Do they have names?
What materials did you use today in labor and painting lessons?
Today I had such a busy day at work, but what was interesting about you?
Let me try to guess what three things you did today?

Children learn from questions, so they are asked so often in preschool age. But no less than they like to answer questions. Be it a test: “Which of the flowers do you like more: red, blue or green?”, Or a question on your imagination: “What would you take with you to a desert island?” At the same time, children feel good when questions are asked with sincere interest, and when adults simply want to find out the secret or, even worse, hear the answer and give a lecture on how to really think.

It is good when conversations are a tradition established in the family from early childhood. When discussions are held at the dining table and on walks, under the covers before going to bed, or while traveling in transport, baking a pie, or jointly assembling a designer. All these situations are a great opportunity to make each other better at easy conversations.

An adult who listens carefully to the child and is not distracted by extraneous matters gives him a message: your thoughts are interesting, and your opinion is important to me. Such an adult can be trusted with secrets and share sore with him, dream out loud and joke on any topic. Even the smallest children are happy to answer questions that allow them to fantasize:

If you had wings, where would you fly?
What fairy-tale hero would you like to become and why?
What do you think is behind the stars?

Kids are interested in everything in the world, but they themselves can be asked about the nature of things, which they still do not understand, because they like to put forward their versions of the world’s device:

Why do you think the ball does not sink in the water?
Why do leaves change color in autumn?
How could you make a noise? What about the voice? What about joy?

Older children with even greater pleasure come up with magical answers to questions:

If you could have any, even the most unusual pet, who would you choose?
If you caught a goldfish, what three wishes would you ask her to fulfill?
What would you do if you became an invisible person for one day?
What would you spend a huge lottery win on?

Parents usually know what fears and experiences their children have. But it happens that a child does not betray his worries and experiences them alone. To talk about existing problems and understand how a child deals with them, you may ask:

What do you think, if a baby is afraid of the dark, or a dog, or something else, how can he calm himself and cheer himself up?
What makes you most angry?
What do you think are the most unpleasant things friends can do?

Open-ended questions encourage children to reflect and reason, analyze and come to conclusions. With their help, we can talk about problems in parent-child relationships, it is only important to choose the right moment for a confidential conversation. In an acute situation, for example, at the peak of a quarrel, children and adults act on emotions and often speak in elevated tones. But when the warlike fervor subsides, you can talk in a relaxed atmosphere and try to hear each other:

Which of my words were offensive to you?
Why does the punishment that has happened seem unfair to you?
How could we fix the trouble that happened between us?

If a skirmish occurs between children, it is important to approach the resolution of the situation objectively. Seeing the crying younger brother and the reddened elder standing aside, you can ask: “Did you hit the brother?” And this will be a closed question, besides containing a hidden accusation, and it will only slam the shell of children's trust more strongly. But one may ask: “Why is Vanya crying? What happened? ”, And this will be an invitation to discuss the incident, in which both sides can speak out.

Children love it when they talk about everything in the world with them. You can remember the past together: joyful moments or annoying chagrin. Over the years, many things no longer seem offensive, as they once were, so children easily share the secrets of early childhood, but to start these stories, you need to help the children remember everything:

From what moment do you remember yourself?
What was your favorite toy when you were little?
What did you like to do with the whole family?
What do you remember about kindergarten?
What were you most afraid of when you were little?

And you can talk about the future, about children's aspirations and dreams:

Is there someone famous or familiar that you want to be like?
What would you like to learn?
How would you like to decorate your room?

Or ask more serious questions to teens:

If you could change three things in yourself, what would you fix?
In your opinion, do girls look better with or without makeup?
What age do you think is most suitable for getting married or getting married?
What would you do if someone suggested you try cigarettes?

Instead of the superficial question: “Well, did you like the book?”, It’s better to ask one to which you can get a detailed answer: “What moment did you find most interesting?” Encouraging children to speak, we train them in a useful speaking skill, and the ability to express their point of view, help to expand vocabulary and learn to communicate with other people, listening carefully and asking counter questions.

The practice of open questions if it is naturally woven into the process of family communication, and does not occur in the form of an interview or interrogation, brings children and parents together, carries cognitive value, as well as a learning moment. During the conversation, you can tactfully express your opinion or lead the child to important thoughts with leading questions. If you see that your daughter does not dare to participate in the school play, although she wants to be involved, ask “why does it seem to you that this is impossible?” To understand the reason for the fear. And then think together how you can cope with excitement, how else you can take part in the performance, if you do not act as an actor: maybe draw the scenery, come up with costumes, speak with the voice of the author? When leading questions are formulated correctly, ideas are found for solving problems.

I’m not adding anything, I quote.

From the forum

"The souls of children not only choose moms and dads long before incarnation, but
are constantly next to them, completely consciously anticipating their
future."
“Discussing our affairs and problems with friends, it was not without discussion
mystical stories from friends who have little kids.
Many mothers noticed that the kids seemed to partially remember while they were little,
where did they come from, how did they choose mom and some small details. I
i will write the most memorable stories to me about the amazing memory of children
before birth.
Says the mother of 3-year-old Kiryusha, from whom I and all these stories
i heard.
“I cooked dinner so that the child could at least somehow distract and seat the fidget on
time is calm, I gave him all the stored photographs. And here comes running
son to me with a black and white photograph in which I am in my youth with
mother (who died shortly before Kiryusha’s birth) and burns - “mother, and
here I remember you and your green dress! You that day on the bus
late! ” I have eyes on my forehead - I ask "son, how do you know, dad
told? " - no, he says, “I saw you from above, they showed me to you and
they said that you will be my mother! ” after that I started asking
friends and girlfriends about this phenomenon and it turned out that not only mine
the child “remembers” how, from somewhere, he looked at his mother before he was born.
My friend secretly told how her daughter recently issued: “Mom,
grandfather, with a magnificent red beard, sent you all regards and
he said that he was praying for you! ” Grandfather with a red beard is the great-grandfather of this
women, she saw him only as a little girl, and the only BW
the bad quality photo was kept by her mother in albums. Their daughters are not
showed exactly to a child at that age BW do not look at the photo
i wonder when there are bright books. Therefore, talking to the mother, women
came to the conclusion that the daughter really saw her great-great-grandfather before
your birth!
Then, on the playground, I talked with another young mother. That
told how her son described how they were shown on some screens
uncle and aunt and they chose their parents.
Another mother of 4-year-old Mashenka told how her daughter said: “but
when they sent me to your tummy, an angel flew in and said that
i’ll be named after one good aunt who will help me. ” Girl
did not know that when her mother was pregnant, then one day, shortly before
childbirth, she slipped and fell, one woman helped her, drove to
hospital and was there until she found out that everything was fine. In honor of that
women mother and decided to name daughter Mashenka!
The most amazing story, in my opinion, is about the girl Katya, in
at the age of 2.5 years, she gave out to her parents that with her her mom and dad
2 more boys were chosen. But one was not allowed to choose these parents, and
the second was said to be getting ready. A year later, a woman had a miscarriage - they
lost the boy. And after 2 years they gave birth to a healthy son. Prediction
they remembered their little daughter and somehow shared this with us. ”
These are such wonderful stories I heard from a friend. Bye my baby
small and does not speak, but who knows what he will tell me when
will be a little older!
I believe that angels send us to Earth and that children can choose their
parents up there! ”

“You can reason as much as you want, trying to penetrate into the secret of a person’s birth, but at the same time never get closer to the truth by a centimeter. At the same time, experts are increasingly inclined to think that the period of life of a small creature before birth is equal in value almost half of the whole life of a person, and the souls of children not only choose moms and dads for themselves long before incarnation, but are constantly next to them, completely consciously anticipating their future.
Hello mom, it's me!

The question from which moment a person becomes a person seems to have always worried us. Perhaps this is not so important, but how significant and yet significant. It is interesting that in time immemorial, future parents prepared in advance for the arrival of a new life in the world. They called upon a beautiful soul, bright and pure, like a spring, to be embodied in the body of a child. And they believed that in this case they would certainly have a baby, beautiful in body and soul. It is clear that one can believe in such a theory, or not. But then where do you get so many mysterious visions that hang from expectant mothers, and why suddenly she feels that she is no longer alone. Researchers have found a very logical answer to this strange question. If a woman saw in a dream her unborn child - then he is already there. "

“Once a woman who just gave birth came to a sage and asked her to give advice on how to raise a child Clever, Kind, Wise and Omniscient. However, the sage replied to her:“ My dear ... you are 9 months late. ”This parable has a very deep meaning and meaning. Throughout our conscious lives, we continually encounter information about what happens before conception, during pregnancy and childbirth in the more subtle worlds-structures, and how these events affect our children.

Who walks on four legs in the morning, two on the day, and three on the evening? Oedipus solved the riddle of the sphinx. And you? Are you able, having lived the morning, the day, and maybe even the evening of life, to solve at least one riddle of being, your Path and Karma? Can you help another person meet the dawn of life and walk the Path?

FINGER OF FATE WRITES AND WRITING, WRITS, - Nostradamus says, - neither your compassion nor scholarship can change a word! Goddesses of Fate weave invisible threads in your life. The sun gives life. The moon takes away ... But a person on Earth really wants to know: what is there, through the Looking Glass? The soul languishes from vague sensations: what happened before ... But the memory is taken away at birth, and the human being begins its life from the beginning, from scratch - innocent, but with the baggage of heights and depths of past lives. A person who has come to Earth is not allowed to remember the past so that he can make a free choice.

Life "pokes it with its nose", like a blind kitten, often without giving a way out, but it is important to remember one thing: the principle of human existence on Earth is Love. Love the Divine World - and life will answer you the same. “Seek - and you will come to an end, ask - and it will be given to you ...” - after all, “you are all children of God ...”.

The principle of existence on Earth is Love. The natural continuation of Love is children, its fruit. Buddha sleeps in the Lotus flower until the time comes for him to open up and go out into the world. So a person comes to life. Meet his bright appearance at birth. But it would be necessary earlier ... "
"A great transition from life to life is being prepared long before birth. Whose parents will your children be? Do they know that from the interaction of two principles the third is born in nature?" The Tao gives birth to one - one gives birth to two - two gives birth to three - and three gives birth to everything " People enter the Stream of Love - Living Birth Water - because someone’s soul is calling them. Much can change a person’s life by making a choice, but marriages and children are predetermined in our destiny. You cannot choose the time of birth, you will feel the power and the passion of mutual attraction, when the Soul needs to be embodied. You are glad that you have a successful child, and you think that you chose him, waited, gave birth and raised him. That he is yours now. I hasten to disappoint: he chose you long ago. This is yours and his Karma. He is a free entity. Your business is to try to match the role that is assigned to you. "

"Children choose their parents in order to come to Earth to receive the lessons they need on the Evolution Path, for further development. I foresee the question: how ?! And abandoned children who have no parents or parents of a drunkard? What can they teach a child ?! "Put a surveyor" and look deep into your consciousness: this is a lesson of independence. Fate either punished or rewarded a person - having passed such a difficult school of Life, he will become ten times wiser and stronger than many. In one life he will make an evolutionary leap to ten lives ahead, but maybe to embroil over the whole world, become a thief, a drunkard, a killer and a sadist and slide down to an unrecognizable vile insect. ... The lesson is hard, but this does not mean that our task is to calmly observe how a person "dies." His independence is in freedom of choice Good and Evil, and the task of others is to lend a helping hand. Remember the commandment of Zoroastrianism, the most humane world religion: "A person is obliged to monitor his own moral and physical health, but also the health of his brothers, to help them move along the path of evolution."

The law ... on children states that, no matter where a lonely child or puppy finds himself without help, the owner of the nearest house should take him to him and bring him up until he can provide for himself. Otherwise, this house will be damned.

The lessons of independence are the lessons of freedom, when we are allowed to do whatever we want, and depending on what you do, you will receive a reward or punishment. Lessons of luxury and poverty, glory and humiliation, wandering and even relaxation. A beggar, a king, an artist, a prophet, a judge or a thief - all Souls find in you, flowing to Earth. And there is not a single one - to each his own. Sometimes the life of an inconspicuous righteous person is more important for evolution than the loud glory and the existence of a narcissistic tyrant. "

Time with a small child flies very quickly. Most recently, the baby was a tiny lump that can neither raise its head, nor make any sounds, nor focus its eyes. During the first year, the baby changed dramatically, began to understand a lot, said the first words, took the first steps and continues to learn about the world. Let's find out how to determine whether a child is developing normally, as well as how to stimulate the further development of a one-year-old baby.

Physiological changes

Baby by 12 months usually triples the weight with which he was born. Now the pace of weight gain and increase in growth compared with the first half of life is significantly slowed down.
The feet of a one-year-old child are still flat, and they have no arch.If the baby has just started walking on his own, there are still fat pads on his feet. With the development of walking, they disappear, and a bend appears at the feet.
The average number of teeth that one year old babies have is 8. At the same time, some children may already have 12 teeth, while others have only 1-2 first teeth. These are all variants of the norm that do not require going to the doctor. You need to consult a pediatrician only in the absence of teeth in 1 year.

Physical development

Over the twelfth month of life, the baby gains about 350 grams of weight, and his height is extended by another 1-1.5 centimeters. Both the head circumference and the chest circumference of a child at this age increase by an average of 0.5 centimeters.

Different children develop physically at different speeds, but on the basis of indicators in a large number of babies of a certain age category, experts have established the limits of the norm for such indicators. These boundaries, together with the average indicators for one-year-old children, we noted in the table:

When they hit furniture items, some parents teach their child to give change. Is it worth it to watch in the next video Larisa Sviridova.

Calculate your vaccination calendar

What does the baby know?

A child of 12 months moves very actively and a lot. Most peanuts by the age of one already know how to walk independently and constantly improve this skill. However, some children in 1 year still need mom's support while walking or are not in a hurry to start walking, preferring fast movement on all fours.
Also, a child of one year can already squat and independently rise from this position. The baby confidently climbs the stairs and climbs onto the sofa.
In one hand, the baby of one year is able to take 2 small items. The child takes buttons and other tiny objects with the index and thumb.
A one-year-old child turns out to collect a pyramid and build towers from cubes.
The child’s speech includes approximately 10-15 simple words from 1-2 syllables.A single peanut word can have several meanings. The baby does not yet pronounce all the letters and can confuse the syllables in places.
A child of 1 year understands parents' speech well.He knows the meaning of the words “you can”, “you can't”, “give”, “take”, “come” and many others. He also knows the names of people with whom he often communicates. The kid can already answer a simple question.
A baby can carry out simple tasks,for example, wash vegetables, lay out cutlery, and dust.
The kid likes to hide and look for toys, throw toys, create buildings from cubes and destroy them, fill boxes and boxes, and then empty them.
Twelve month old baby is interested in story games and knows how to play them. The baby can put the toy to sleep or feed it.
Hearing music, the baby will dance and try to sing along.
The kid knows many animals and can show them both on a walk and in pictures.
Tiny knows way to use different items.
Long-term memory the child is developing - the baby is already able to memorize events a few days ago.
Child becomes more independent every day.At the table, he already manages with a spoon and drinks from a cup. The peanut already has certain preferences in food - some foods do not like crumbs at all, and some, on the contrary, the child eats with great pleasure.

To check if a child is developing at a normal pace, you should:

Evaluate whether the baby can crawl, stand, holding on to your hand, and also take several steps with your support.
Make sure that the baby uses at least one gesture, for example, negatively twists his head or waves his hand “bye”.
Check if the child understands your simple requests, for example, take a toy or give it to you.
Make sure that the child’s speech has at least one meaningful word.
Check if the baby has at least one tooth or signs of its appearance in the near future.

If during such a check, something guarded you, tell the pediatrician about this during a routine checkup per year.

Activities for development

The main skill a one-year-old child is “working on” is walking. If the baby continues to crawl and is in no hurry to take the first steps, you can attract the baby with your favorite toy. Some children are afraid to lose their balance, so a toy in his hands can help him start walking.
If possible, give the baby be barefoot on the ground, sand or grass.
To stimulate large motor skills, offer your child play with big cars balls and other large toys.
Keep up with the baby the development of fine motor skills. For example, you can attach clothespins to the edges of a coffee can and invite the child to take them off. Games with beans, cereals, sand, water are still interesting and useful for the child.
Also continue speech development peanut. Talk a lot with the child so that the baby can learn a large number of new words. Describe everything that you do and the objects that the baby sees.
Play with the peanutbut at the same time let the baby do what he can on his own. Play different stories together with toys, for example, how a bunny shares cookies with a teddy bear, a doll bathes in a bath, and a little mouse invites a teddy bear to visit.
Turn on your child music of different genres, as well as the sounds of various objects. So you will stimulate the development of hearing.
Do with the baby by drawing allowing the little one to display the first scribble with finger paints, crayons or felt-tip pens. The kid will also enjoy creating using plasticine and salt dough.
Walk with the baby in the sandboxoffering to play with a scoop, cookie cutters, sieve, rake.
On a sunny day, pay attention to the crumbs on your shadows. Offer to step on your shadow.
Give your child the opportunity play with other kids. If the crumbs do not have a sister or brother, invite familiar families with preschool kids to visit.
Make for baby photo albumin which there will be photos of all close relatives, as well as pictures of animals. The pean will consider it for a long time.
Take some time daily joint readingwith the baby. Get baby books for children with vivid illustrations. Let the child choose for himself which book he will “read” today.
Throw while swimming small toys that can swim in the bath and then give the crumb a sieve or a scoop, offering to collect floating objects in a bucket.

Diversify the day by O. N. Teplyakova, an intellectual development expert, using the Little Leonardo methodology.

Mental development

The development of the mental sphere of a one-year-old baby continues to be very intense. The child is awake longer and is able for several minutes to concentrate on an interesting game with his mother. That is why all developmental activities should be carried out only in the form of a game.

On the basis of communication with the mother, the crumbs have a trust or distrust of the world that surrounds them on their first birthday. If this communication experience is positive, the baby will feel safe and will also project positive emotions on the outside world.

In the second year of life, the child actively continues sensory and cognitive development. The kid learns the properties of objects, their shape, color. In games, parents should constantly send a one-year-old peanut, because without help and outside prompts, the crumbs will remain monotonous. Carrying out simple classes with babies 1 year old, parents help the peanut to compare and distinguish objects, develop memory, and master everyday skills.

To assess the mental development of a child at 1 year, you can use these tests:

Give the baby 2 cubes and show how to build a tower. The child will not roll the cubes or drag them into his mouth, but will put one on top of the other. By 18 months, the baby will already be able to apply 3-4 cubes for the construction of the tower.
Offer the baby a toy in which to put geometric shapes (insert frame or sorter). A one-year-old baby should put a circle in the hole for him.
Give the little one a pyramid, offering to collect it. A baby in 1-1.5 years old will try to string rings, but will not take into account their size. Correctly folding the pyramid, taking into account the size of the rings, children learn only by the age of 2.
Evaluate household skills. Peanut 12-15 months already knows how to properly use a spoon and a cup. At 1.5 years old, the child is able to take off socks, a hat and mittens.

Play with the baby and build towers from it with different figures, explain why the tower falls

Motility

To assess the large motor skills of the crumbs, find out whether the baby can walk for a long time, learned how to bend and crouch, and whether it is able to get up from its knees and climb onto the sofa. Exercises that develop large motor skills will include:

Jumping Hold the little one under your arms or hands and let the baby jump in place.
Climbing onto the sofa and lowering back to the floor. For this purpose, you can draw the baby with your favorite toy.
Climbing. Offer the baby to crawl under the chair, climb into the big box and get out of it.
Stepping over. Having laid out different objects on the floor, take a walk around the room with a peanut, holding the child's hand. When the baby approaches the obstacle, show that you first need to raise one leg and step over the object, and then take the same step with the second foot.
Ball games. Teach your baby to throw the ball on the floor, at the same time, first give the crumb ball to your hands, and then put it next to the child to pick up the ball. Next, learn to catch the ball. To develop the eye, you can throw the ball into the box.

To develop the fine motor skills of a one-year-old child, you can:

Draw with pencils. First hold the pen with a pencil and just leave traces on the paper. Try to interest the baby in drawing.
Paint with paints. Give the baby a dry brush and show how to leave strokes, and then proceed to the development of paint.
Sculpt from plasticine. Roll up the ball and show the baby how to make a cake out of it, then suggest to the peanut to repeat.
Stick pebbles, buttons, tubes into plasticine.
Sculpt from salt dough.
Stick stickers on yourself or on a leaflet.
To draw with finger paints.
Play with lacing.
Winding threads on a ball.
Play with water, cereal or sand using a sieve and a spoon.
Twist and unscrew the caps.
Play with sorter and liner frames.
Learn to deal with hooks, Velcro, buttons, buttons.
Play with clothespins.
To deal with the touch box.

Speech development

In the second year of life, the formation of the baby's speech takes place, as well as its rapid improvement. First, the baby begins to understand speech, and then at a high pace it replenishes the vocabulary and the stage of active speech begins. At the same time, enrichment of facial expressions and sign language of the peanut takes place. In one year, one word of the baby can mean a whole phrase.

To stimulate the speech development of a one-year-old child, you can:

Examine the pictures in books, voicing the drawn and asking the child simple questions on the drawing, for example, "where is the dog?"
Read with little counters and nursery rhymes, short tales and rhymes, and also sing songs.
Perform articulation gymnastics.
Do gymnastics and finger massage.
To tell the baby about everything that can interest the peanut - about nature, animals, the season, houses and much more.

Finger games will help the development of crumbs. Watch the video of Tatyana Lazareva, where she shows how you can play with a child of 1 year.

Sample weekly plan for the development of a one-year-old child

So that classes do not bother the crumbs, do not repeat and include all the important areas of development, it is worth planning them in advance for at least one week. This will allow mom to cover all areas of development of the little one and prepare materials for educational games in advance.

We offer an example of a weekly schedule of developmental activities for a child aged 1-1.5 years:

	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
Physical development	Ball games	Gymnastics to the music	Fitball Exercises		Walking with obstacles	Gymnastics video tutorial
Cognitive development	Putting the puzzle together	Find the integer part	Dice games	Learning Fruits	Sort items by color	Pyramid games	Looking for the missing toy
Sensory and musical development	Listening to the sounds of musical instruments	Learning smells	Learning materials by touch	We listen to children's songs	Exploring tastes	Game with touch box	Listening to classical music
Fine motor skills	Finger gymnastics	Games with croup	Lacing Games	Finger gymnastics	Clothespins	Sticker Games	Sand games
Speech Development	Reading a fairy tale	Articulation gymnastics	Discussion of the plot picture	Reading poetry	Articulation gymnastics	Review and discussion of pictures	Reading nursery rhymes
Creative development	Finger painting	Applique	Pencil drawing	Salt dough	Paint drawing	Game with the constructor	Plasticine modeling

This is just an example plan that should be changed for each individual child. Be sure to include in your weekly routine activities that the baby likes. At the end of the week, make an analysis of what has been completed, based on which you can add any classes or shorten the list of games for the day.

Toys 1 to 2 years old

Toys help the baby develop both the physical and emotional spheres. With their help, the child learns the world, studies the environment, develops imagination, becomes proactive and learns causal relationships.

About what toys should be purchased for crumbs of 1-2 years, see the video of Anna Gapchenko.

Among the toys of a child 1-2 years old should be:

Cubes.
Sorter with a few simple holes.
Pyramid with 3-4 rings.
Glasses are square and round.
Boxes of different sizes.
Toys for the street - a shovel, molds, a car with a body, a bucket.
Toys that pull or push.
Soft toys that the baby can put to bed, feed.
Toys for playing with water.
Plastic dishes.
Toy phone.
Toys imitating household items.
Musical toys.
Cardboard or fabric books.

And a few more tips regarding toys for a one-year-old baby:

Do not give the baby immediately a large number of items for the game. They will quickly get bored with a peanut and cause fatigue. Put some of the toys in a distant drawer or hide them, and after a while replace the missing toys with those that the child is already slightly tired of.
When visiting friends with children, pay attention to what toys the peanut was most interested in. This will give you the opportunity to replenish your stock of toys with items that the baby will surely play.
Many children like to play household items (pot lids, sheets, a mirror and others). Do not forbid, but make sure that such games are safe.

Games with croup are one of the most loved crumbs. How to conduct such classes, see the next video.

Care

Hygienic procedures are an important element of the daily routine in the life of a one-year-old baby. In the morning, the child is washed and washed. It is also important for the baby to brush his teeth and be sure to wash his hands before eating and after walking. Before going to bed, the crumbs are traditionally bathed, combining this water procedure with fun games in the water.

Daily regime

By the year all children have a certain daily routine, having been replaced several times over 12 months of life. Its maintenance is important for the well-being of the baby. The main points of a 12-month baby's day regimen are the organization of sleep and wakefulness, as well as nutrition.

Sleep

Children of 1 year are awake more, but still sleep about 14-15 hours a day. Night rest on average lasts 10-11 hours, and during the day the child 12 months sleeps twice. In this case, the first daytime sleep usually lasts longer (2-2.5 hours), and the second - less prolonged (1.5 hours). By one day's sleep, children begin to transition at about 18 months.

Wakefulness

In the daily mode of the 12-month-old child there are active and calm games, gymnastic exercises, reading books, walking, visiting visits and much more. Active games are welcome in the morning and should be avoided in the evening. Gymnastics with a child should be performed one hour before a meal.

Walks

Walking with Godasik is advised 2 times a day, and in good weather, at least one of the daytime dreams should be arranged for a walk. Going out with crumbs to the street is recommended in the morning at 10-11 hours, and in the afternoon - at 16-17 hours. The duration of walks should be from 2 hours or more. It will be affected by weather conditions, for example, on warm summer days, the baby may well spend 5-6 hours on a walk. If on the street the frost is below -10, heavy rain or very windy, you should refrain from walking.

Nutrition

A child of 1 year still eats 5 times a day with pauses between meals of 3.5-4 hours. It is recommended to adhere to the diet, offering the baby food at about the same time, as well as avoiding long breaks. You can determine the total daily amount of food for a one-year-old baby by dividing the body weight of the crumbs by 9. On average, children of this age eat 1000–1300 ml of food per day. Dividing this volume by the number of feedings, you will get an average serving volume of 200-260 ml.

P breastfeeding of a baby includes more and more complementary foods. The baby is applied to the chest mainly near dreams, during the day (for example, if you fell) and after eating (drink complementary foods). At night, active morning feeding is preserved, which occurs at 4-8 in the morning.

Artificially fed children can continue to be fed an adapted mixture, offering her in two feedings (the first and before bedtime). If necessary, the mixture can already be canceled, offering a little porridge for breakfast and replacing the mixture with a sour-milk drink before going to bed.

In the diet of a one-year-old baby, spices, herbs, salt, some types of sweets (pastille, marshmallows) appear. It is still too early for such children to get to know fried foods, sausages and sausages, smoked meats, fatty meats, exotic fruits, mushrooms and chocolate.