If someone you really love is in a difficult situation right now and needs your support, please read this text.
If someone you really love is in a difficult situation right now and needs your support, please read this text.He is about the right support. And how wrong support looks through the eyes of a person who is ill.
What you need to know if you want to help
Imagine you have an orange. And I really need an apple. Well, really.
And to your question "How to help?" I can only answer: "Find an apple."
But you have your own life and a lot of things. And where to look for it, is it an apple? Yes, and why waste time searching?But you can’t remain indifferent, because you love and respect me. And generally speaking.
Therefore, you say generously and persistently: "On, take an orange. Do not wander."
I don't need an orange. I am now allergic to citrus. I politely say: "No, thanks."
No, take it - you are angry, inwardly considering me an ungrateful bitch. You give away your orange for free! And he is dear to you, by the way. Could and appreciate.
And I spend strength and emotions, and explain that allergies, and that is not necessary, and that ... Okay, let's. It’s easier to take than to explain what is not necessary. I take, see? Thanks.
And here I am sitting, littered with oranges on the top of my head. I’m sad because there’s no apple. I am looking for pluses. I find one. He’s at least in the fact that the giver of the orange goes home happy, with the realization that he is the savior. Helper. And well done.
And here is what I think. No need to help, generously shoving what is. It is necessary to help, giving what they ask. Do you understand?
It seems that we were told that we need to help grandmothers cross the road, but forgot to say that not all grandmothers need the other side.
Drifles, it is not necessary to treat and teach without a request. No need to shove your experience. Do not give unsolicited advice.
I didn’t take my child to Moscow and stayed in the Moscow Region for treatment, because she felt so sick so quickly and so sharply that she could .... not get there. And I decided to stay. My decision is my responsibility.
Was I scared? Yes. On a ten-point scale of 11. Did I recognize the risks? Yes, to the full. Do you know what was the most painful that night? Read hundreds of tips that begin with the phrase: “We need to be taken to Moscow! ...” or something else: “Urgent! Take to Israel!”, “Olya, do not hesitate, blow to Germany!”
Yes? Where else?Tips generously poured from friends and relatives. I could not turn off the phone. He is my connection with the world, doctors and those who gave real support.
Do you know what she is? Well, real? She is delicate. Unobtrusive. She is tender and enveloping. She is lulling.
It consists of phrases:
I pray for you;
You are doing everything right;
If you need to, just say it;
Dear, I'm near.I'm with you. Here is my hand.
Think positive.
Let's think about an action plan, do you want?
It is very important to hear apples. And evaluate your oranges.If there are no apples among them, then it is better not to. Well, really.
You will not help, but simply take away a pinch of nerves. A tiny one. But if you multiply it by the number of people who also stretch their citrus, you get a lot. Straight a lot.
A person who is ill is most often able to articulate what he wants. Because he is mobilized to survive and clearly understands what is stopping him. And, believe me, he does not flirt.
If he asks not to disturb, do not disturb. If you want to talk, talk. If he wants to be silent, shut up.
I have a girlfriend. She is far away in another country and cannot help me. But she calls to ... shut me up. And this silence is more valuable than words. It smells like apples. With her silence, she tells me so much that is needed, smooth, encouraging, that I cry into the phone with tears of relief.
Please conjure you, if you love, if you really want to help someone, just LISTEN to him. And find him apples. Published. If you have any questions about this topic, ask them to specialists and readers of our project. .
As soon as you have a break, you should immediately cut a person out of your life.
You are all over, accept it.
The first advice of a psychologist on how to forget your loved one forever will be just that. Your past reality is not.
Your ex relationship is dead, man died. Start looking at it now like that.
Let go of the past completely.
It’s like you are reborn again and you start from scratch.
New world, new people.
2. Absolutely no contact with ex-lovers
Delete any connection with a person:
- in the Internet;
- by phone;
- by mail;
- via skype and other means of communication.
3. To remove from life all the psychological anchors evoking memories of the former passion
What anchors need to be removed from life in detail:
- general music that you spent time together;
- gifts (either hide in the basement or give to friends);
- do not go to those locations and places where you had abrupt dates together before;
- any forgotten things: whether it is clothes or a lens that was not previously thrown out from the former passion (it's time to throw it away);
- delete shared photos and videos on a computer, phone and other media.
Follow these steps, and you will get rid of anxious thoughts on the topic of how to forget the person you love, but he is not you, without any conspiracies and other nonsense.
4. Do not fall into his perception: do not think about what his head is doing.
Do not fall into the wrong perception and do not think about what the head of the former partner is doing!
Otherwise, you will fall into the pain of loss.
Do not be interested in the life of a past partner and do not fall into someone else's perception. 
What does it mean in detail:
- You should not care what kind of relationship the former partner is and with whom he is now.
- It doesn't matter if your former passion suffers or not. At the moment, only your health is important.
- Do not hang or stick on a page on social networks of a former person.
Having learned that he is doing better, you will not feel better about it. - You do not feel better or worse with rumors or any news about a past person.
Absolute and complete indifference!
Implement this principle and no longer need the advice of a psychologist on how to forget a person with whom you should never be together.
5. Don't blame yourself for never being together again
In such cases, a person’s focus can be occupied only by negativity, and it is a mistake to make only yourself the culprit.
Otherwise, negative energy will accumulate in you.
It's not your fault! What happened is what happened.
No need to scold yourself!
A fine linethat you need to remember.
- It's cool that you look for your mistakes, analyze your behavior so as not to repeat your mistakes. BUT: find these errors and do not attack and do not blame yourself!
- Find mistakes for yourself, so as not to repeat them in other new relationships, and not to go back to your previous partner!
You find your jambs so as not to repeat them with a new partner and never step on the same rake again.
Remember this, and you no longer need to look for answers to questions from psychology about how to forget the person you love quickly and in a short time.
6. We learn new awareness and lessons, so as not to step on the same rake again
Lessons are learned through analysis.
The analysis is done with a pen and paper, asking yourself as many questions as possible, and answering them in writing.
The more questions, the better.
- Who is to blame for the fact that you initially chose the wrong partner?
Answer: I myself! - Why did this happen, how did you allow it?
Answer: I had no personal boundaries, I had a poor idea of \u200b\u200bthe person whom I wanted to see next to me. - What kind of person do I want to see next, what I admit and what is not in a relationship?
The answer indicates the exact characteristics of the individual, not appearance. - What did I understand and learn from past relationships?
- What mistakes should I not repeat again with another partner?
Be as sincere as possible with yourself when you write the answers to these questions.
Thus, you yourself will solve your problems and there will be no need for the advice of a psychologist on how to quickly forget your loved one and start a new life.
7. Do not fall into loneliness: know that you are always in abundance of choice
You must have faith that you will have another person with an even more emotional connection and chemistry. 
Know that you are always in abundance of choice. You can always find a soul mate.
No need to look at it as an everyday duty and need to get a new partner as soon as possible.
Just understand that it’s stupid to keep in your head what you no longer have, until you die.
Accept the changes and do not resist them.
Any break that happens to you is this is a time of powerful growth for you.
Remember this and no longer worry about how to forget the person you still like.
8. Do not blame your old partner and do not hold a grudge against him, take away the bitterness
Some people like, even a year after the break, to continue to write sms as ex or to call from time to time.
People hold in themselves the anger and negativity of past relationships, which then manifest themselves and give effect in the following relationships. Having the same type of thinking in a new relationship, all old mistakes will be repeated in a new way.
Do not fall into this vicious circle.
A fine line. Instead of becoming embittered at a partner, it is better to deeply thank him for what happened!
Through hatred, you yourself will maintain an energetic connection with your former lover, cling to him and how much in vain to give energy to negative thoughts. Do you need it?
You can easily fall into such hatred. Get rid of her, and thereby remove concerns about how to forget the person who hurt you once.
9. After the break, do not bring everyone under one comb “they are all like that”, otherwise you yourself will attract such people into your life
Often we hear from a person after parting: "All men are goats" or "All women ...".
They painfully parted with a partner, and now they are looking for evidence in everything that “all men are like that” or “all women are like that ...” 
And they do it unconsciously and do not understand it.
And you know what? It will be like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You will really attract such people to yourself.
And also having these attitudes in your head, you yourself will unconsciously look for such negative characteristics in other people, try to look for confirmation for them.
Why do you need this?
Stop knocking everyone under one comb, and no longer ask questions about how to forget the person who betrayed you or acted in a certain way, not meeting your expectations.
10. Realize that in the world there is nothing permanent, everything comes and goes
Look at it from the spiritual side.
- You were born alone and die alone. Nothing is eternal.
- Everything is constantly changing. And it's useless to resist change. These are the laws of the universe.
- Do not cling to old emotions and memories.
- Life is like a roller coaster. You are above, then below. And that’s exactly what makes her interesting.
Realizing this, you will save yourself from the dilemma on the topic of how you can forget the person whom you love very much and blindly.
11. You must still be open in your soul to a new person, realizing deep inside that the fact that nothing lasts forever
There is a trap of the mind: "To think that the relationship will last forever." Do not live this illusion!
But at the same time, you still open up to new people after breaking up old relationships, are not afraid to open up and expose yourself to the present in front of others.
Continue to open 100% with other people and share moments together.
But be aware deep down that there is an end to everything. 
Example. You eat delicious ice cream. You can enjoy it. Enjoy the process. But deep down you realize and understand that the ice cream will end.
If you think that you will continue to eat the same non-stop ice cream for the rest of your life, you are trapped in your mind.
He leads you by the nose and plays with you.
Be aware of this. Know everything about between them.
It will be useful to remind yourself of this to women who ask themselves questions about how to forget a married man whom you love and still dream of some kind of blind hopes towards him.
A fine line
- Do not forget to enjoy the process. It's like enjoying life before you die.
- The same thing in a relationship: enjoy them, because they can end.
- But do not deprive yourself to enjoy in a relationship with this knowledge.
Osho's wise words in the video
On our site you can also to survive the breakup and breakup relationship.
12. In search of a new partner, do not compare him with the old one, do not look for a replacement for him, look for and create a new experience
- Do not try to find the same partner that you had.
Do not look for the same person. - Do not make comparisons.
It only spoils and destroys everything. - Do not look for the same personality characteristics as your former partner.
Do everything for a new interesting experience! - Do not impose the old manner and style of communication as you were an old partner when meeting a new person.
About affection and love addiction, you can also in a new publication.
Remember these principles, and you will stop worrying about how to forget your loved one if you see him every day. 
Example
Otherwise, for example, the guy broke up with the girl and now, when meeting a new one, he wants the new girl to behave the same as the former.
Then he imposes a new girl a model of behavior that is not inherent in her.
But she behaves in a completely different way, the guy’s expectations are crumbling and this negatively affects your flirtation and the process of rapprochement.
It is a mistake to see in a new person a replacement for the former.
It only worsens your condition.
Do not try to close your pain with a new partner!
13. Review your personality traits, remind yourself of them
There is such an illusion after parting that now it is supposedly "you are not self-sufficient, because you do not have a soul mate." 
It is especially found in girls who are worried about anxious thoughts on how to forget a beloved man.
When it's over, it's time to go back and review the characteristics of your personality.
It is important to remind yourself of them!
You need to reconsider the new self that went through all this journey with a past partner.
Continue to enjoy life by discovering and learning more about yourself.
14. Understand that your passion, self-sufficiency and love are always with you, no one can take it from you
Consider three simple steps on how to forget your loved one, and analyze the psychology of this perception.
- Recognize that no one can take your passion and true destiny from you.
- No one can take your life from you, your preferences.
- Your self-sufficiency should never depend on the external. Do you have a soulmate or not, you are still self-sufficient.
15. Allow yourself to be with a better partner, get rid of old limiting beliefs
We attract those who we are. 
You must realize that you can attract a better partner.
But the paradox is that people themselves do not want to be with a better partner!
Why is this happening to people?
Because after a long relationship man accustomed himself: “I love my soulmate. I don’t want the best for myself alone, I want the best for both of us. ”
Track these habits in yourself and get rid of it.
People cannot believe that it is possible and necessary to forget the person whom you love unrequitedly and blindly.
16. Do not seek a new partner because of revenge or in order to cause jealousy in the old
- Do not fall into the trap of your ego! Do not have these low, insignificant selfish motives.
- It is a gross mistake to find new partners only with the goal of asserting oneself in the eyes of the former!
- Otherwise, by such actions you will only strengthen in your mind the thought: “She / he is the only one”.
- And then all your selfish actions in order to cause jealousy or out of revenge - this is a big reaction to your former partner.
- Let it all go and enjoy a completely new partner, share your passion with each other.
- Have the perception "Now your ex-man is a random passerby" and there is no point in thinking about him.
Remember these principles to close your questions on how to forget the person you love and see every day.
17. Do not make the following typical mistakes that do not solve the problem.
Which does NOT solve problems after the break:
- From alcohol, all sorts of substances, random connections of meaning and benefit zero.
- Attempts to travel or move are all attempts to escape from the problem and pretend that it is allegedly not there. It’s like a soldier’s leg was shot, and he went on a march-throw to run a kilometer and pretended that everything was super.
- Remembering the negative qualities in a former person and the negative in past relationships is another absurd advice! Following him, you are still thinking about him! You will spend a lot of energy on these thoughts, the negative takes a lot of energy.
- Thinking of any other person is the most useless advice. This is tantamount to advising you not to think about the pink elephant, which still pops up in your head. Not thinking is also an action that is also energy consuming.
It is better to re-read all our tips again and live in harmony. Everything is written in them that needs to be realized and what to do to forget the person whom you love unrequitedly, once and for all.
Are you sad...
I am sad...
Are you sad...
I am sad...
In autumn, as always, the sky is gray with gray
Emptiness. All passers-by suddenly disappeared
Bad weather rules the city
You are sad, and with sad eyes
Seeing off desperate beautiful birds
Flying so far
About this I ... so pray ...
Are you sad...
I am sad...
Are you sad...
I am sad...
We understand with bitterness - it was a draw
This game is played, but the stronger
We are drawn to each other today
Half an hour ... Half an hour before midnight ...
You and I will burn down two candles
In the infinity of our love
Well, what should I do, how to help you forget him
And this is the time that we had to go through together
Let the night fetter everything around with a longing unthinkable
Noise autumn rain, it will wash away all traces
I will learn to love you, I will learn to love
But every day I'll tell you this
Do not leave me alone, do not give me to him
About this I ...
I will learn to love you, I will learn to love
But every day I'll tell you this
Do not leave me alone, do not give me to him
About this I ... pray about it so much
Are you sad...
You "re sad ...
I "m sad ...
You "re sad ...
I "m sad ...
Fall, as always, the sky streaked with gray
Emptiness. All passers-by suddenly disappeared
City ruled by bad weather
You "re sad, and sad eyes
Mourners desperate beautiful birds
Departing so far
This is what I pray ... so ...
You "re sad ...
I "m sad ...
You "re sad ...
I "m sad ...
With bitterness understand - was a draw
Played this game, but the stronger
Today we are drawn to each other
Half an hour ... half an hour before midnight ...
We "re like two candles burn down
In the infinity of our love
What am I to do, how to help you to forget
And it "s time that we had together to survive
Let the night pinned all around incredible anguish
Noise autumn rain, he smoёt all traces
I will learn to love you, I "ll learn to love
But every day you I will speak
Do not leave me, do not give me to him
That "s what I ...
I will learn to love you, I "ll learn to love
But every day you I will speak
Do not leave me, do not give me to him
This is what I ... pray about it so
Are you sad...
I am sad...
Are you sad...
I am sad...
In autumn, as always, the sky is gray with gray
Emptiness. All passers-by suddenly disappeared
Bad weather rules the city
You are sad, and with sad eyes
Seeing off desperate beautiful birds
Flying so far
About this I ... so pray ...
Are you sad...
I am sad...
Are you sad...
I am sad...
We understand with bitterness - it was a draw
This game is played, but the stronger
We are drawn to each other today
Half an hour ... Half an hour before midnight ...
You and I will burn down two candles
In the infinity of our love
Well, what should I do, how to help you forget him
And this is the time that we had to go through together
Let the night fetter everything around with a longing unthinkable
Noise autumn rain, it will wash away all traces
I will learn to love you, I will learn to love
But every day I'll tell you this
Do not leave me alone, do not give me to him
About this I ...
I will learn to love you, I will learn to love
But every day I'll tell you this
Do not leave me alone, do not give me to him
About this I ... pray about it so much
Are you sad... You "re sad ...
I "m sad ...
You "re sad ...
I "m sad ...
Fall, as always, the sky streaked with gray
Emptiness. All passers-by suddenly disappeared
City ruled by bad weather
You "re sad, and sad eyes
Mourners desperate beautiful birds
Departing so far
That "s what I pray ... so ...
You "re sad ...
I "m sad ...
You "re sad ...
I "m sad ...
With bitterness understand - was a draw
Played this game, but the stronger
Today we are drawn to each other
Half an hour ... Half an hour before midnight ...
We "re like two candles burned to ashes
In the infinity of our love
Well I do like to help you to forget
And it "s time that we had together to survive
Let the night pinned all around incredible anguish
Noise autumn rain, it will wash away all traces of
I will learn to love you, I learned to love
But every day you I will speak
Do not leave me, do not give me to him
That "s what I ...
I will learn to love you, I learned to love
But every day you I will speak
Do not leave me, do not give me to him
About this ... I pray about it so
You "re sad ...
