A person suffering from often feels the most unhappy in the whole world. He is capable of reaching complete despair and would like to free himself from the passion that torments him, but he does not know how to survive unrequited love and regain peace and happiness. The hackneyed phrases that time heals or “everything will pass, this too will pass” do not bring any relief and are perceived as empty words. Ah, if only he or she knew that most of those living also had the opportunity to experience something similar at some point! And somehow they managed, calmed down, met a person who appreciated, understood and loved them...

You may not understand that the psychologist’s advice that we publish in this article will help you get through difficult times. Be sure to read everything to the end; the information posted here will help you understand that the situation you find yourself in is not at all as hopeless and terrible as you think.

Unrequited love or one-sided love?

Psychologists say that when a person is in love with unilaterally, then we are most likely talking not about love, but about falling in love. In this case, there is no long-term interaction between two people. close communication and the one who is in love, in fact, knows little about the object of his passion. They are put on the eyes which carefully mask all the shortcomings of the person to whom tender feelings are directed. Here they are attracted by external data or fantasized advantages, which in reality may not exist at all.

How to survive unrequited love if, for example, it broke out after one meeting, one stormy night, one romantic date, etc.? For one of the two, in these short moments it was not difficult to be on top; he demonstrated everything best qualities of his nature, tenderness, romance, passion and went out forever... The other side decided that he had met an ideal and was inflamed with a serious passion for a fictitious image.

You will object that mutual love relationships always begin with the idealization of the image of the chosen one or the chosen one. And you will, of course, be right. But, mutual love makes people gradually get to know each other better and better. Gradually, illusions cannot withstand the merciless pressure of reality and over time, the first ardent feelings either develop into true love, agreeing to put up with all the shortcomings of the chosen one, or pass without a trace, like an acute respiratory disease.

The problem with unrequited love is that it can exist unbroken for many years, fueled by fantasies and hopes. It’s good to read novels and watch movies about such feelings, but in life it’s better to get rid of them quickly. Really, it’s so fleeting - our life, is it worth devoting it to endless suffering!

in adolescence

It is especially painful in adolescence. There is even an opinion that one is always unhappy. In a sense, unrequited love among teenagers becomes a preventive vaccination for them. Having experienced confusion of feelings in early youth, most young people become stronger psychologically and more attentive in the future to the subject of their new choice.

Fortunately, most teenagers go through this difficult period safely, but for those who are particularly vulnerable and sensitive, it can be prolonged. It may develop and it will have bad influence to build relationships with the opposite sex in future adult life.

If a young man or girl is suffering greatly, not understanding how to cope with unrequited love, parents should first of all provide support. The trouble is that in adolescence, children often move away from close relatives. Those, often, are not able to help their son or daughter, because they simply do not know exactly how to behave and how to talk to their sons in love.

1. Be as tactful as possible when talking to your child about his feelings. Otherwise, the teenager will withdraw and will no longer share his experiences with you.

2. Don’t give advice that is suitable for adults (change your hairstyle, start doing fitness, etc.) Better try to explain that his feelings remained unrequited not because he is bad (not handsome enough, smart enough, etc.) It’s just that people’s feelings do not always coincide, because we are all different and this is absolutely normal.

4. If you understand that your personal experience is not interesting to your son or daughter, then switch to stories about the fate of the “stars” in which he is interested.

5. If you feel that your teenager has almost overcome his inner loneliness, try to get him interested in some new activity, sport, or creativity. You can go on a trip together.

If parents see that they cannot help their child on their own and he is immersed deeper and deeper into experiences, then it is better to turn to a professional psychologist and together with him look for ways out of the current situation.

In general, teenage love is a very broad topic and requires separate study. In this article, we have given only general brief recommendations. Further information presented in the article highlights the problems and relationships of adults.

Reasons for unrequited love

It happens that a person repeatedly experiences a feeling of unrequited love throughout his life. That is, the same type of situation, “Groundhog Day,” is repeated over and over again. This may indicate existing psychological problems. Such people should attend an appointment with a specialist who will help them understand themselves.

At psychologists' appointments there are many visitors with the same type of problems. For example, a woman says: “I suffer from unrequited love!” - and begins to describe his situation. And here, in the memory of an experienced psychologist, a whole string of similar stories immediately arises about how women choose as the object of their love men who are married and happily married or simply in love with another girl - that is, the most unavailable.

Starting to unravel the tangle of problems of such visitors, the psychologist understands that in their subconscious there is a strong conviction that they are unworthy of love, that dislike is normal for them. And the roots of this psychological anomaly go deep into childhood, when parents were too critical, picky and demanding of their child, scolding and criticizing them for the slightest offense.

There are often situations when unhappy one-sided love is an almost conscious choice. In these cases, women (this happens less often with men) do not feel the need for a full-fledged relationship. They need mental anguish, violent feelings, but not a permanent partner for life. This indicates emotional immaturity and requires psychological correction.

There are often situations when a person’s life is so calm and comfortable in all areas that he subconsciously tries to create conditions that would give him the opportunity to suffer and complain. This creates an emotional contrast and subsequently makes you appreciate your past life, which seemed so insipid and boring.

In general, there are many reasons for unrequited love, and those described here are just a drop in the ocean.

Unrequited love for a woman

We have outlined a list of things that can help a man win a woman’s heart:

1. Tenacity and perseverance.

2. Generosity.

3. Romance.

4. Sense of humor.

5. Self-confidence.

6. Noticeable popularity with the opposite sex.

And women adore strength and tenderness in one bottle. These are such strange and contradictory creatures. If a girl doesn't reciprocate, you can try to become her ideal. But, if you feel that you cannot cope with such a difficult task and your love runs away from you like fire, then:

• Don't stalk her. This can cause even greater negative feelings in her soul.
• Try to avoid the sight of a suffering victim; do not show your feelings to others, so as not to provoke their ridicule. After all, it hurts you without it.
• Lead no matter what active life, do not isolate yourself alone.
• Remember that over time your “stocks” will only grow. Feminine beauty fades quickly, and men gain charm over the years. Besides: for ten girls, according to statistics... you know the rest yourself.
• Under no circumstances should you start drowning your sorrows in alcohol. Nothing good will definitely come of this.

Pros of the situation

Imagine that unrequited love can have its advantages - anyone will tell you this experienced psychologist. For example, the unrequited love of a guy for a girl can force him to literally “move mountains” in order to achieve the favor of his beloved.

This is a huge incentive for self-improvement. The main thing is to act, and not sit limply in tears and snot. Direct the energy that strong love feelings give you to become better both externally and internally. Try to make your body ideal with the help of sports and fitness, start reading a lot, try to achieve success in your professional activity etc.

Hard work on yourself will lead to the fact that those around you will be more interested in you, surprised by the changes, and express their admiration for the transformation that has taken place. All this will increase your self-esteem, self-confidence, and open up new prospects that you had never dreamed of before. It may happen that soon you will be able to see the person who caused you so much suffering in a completely different light and will be surprised to feel that the love has passed.

What should a girl who is unrequitedly in love do?

The weaker sex turns out to be not so weak after all. Many girls in love prefer not to sigh and think about how to survive unrequited love for a man, but to act very decisively, trying to win reciprocity by any means, including turning to psychics who promise to cast a powerful love spell. Let us say right away that we do not advise anyone to engage in such dubious things. We only give ethical advice.

If you think that a guy simply hasn’t yet seen your merits and beauty, then psychologists advise in this case to do something that will help open his eyes faster. And to do this, you don’t need to look at the object of your passion from afar. Try to be closer to him! Be feminine and sweet. Clothes and hairstyle, of course, must be impeccable. Unrequited love for a man should become a reason for you to strive for perfection in everything.

We will tell you one secret from a psychologist: give a man to show his best qualities in your presence, the opportunity to perform some chivalrous deeds. Be weak, unprotected, turn to him for help, and when he gives it to you, do not skimp on praise.

Find out what worries your chosen one most in this life. Maybe he's a boxing fan or loves to talk about political topics? Or perhaps he likes to read books by some fashionable modern author? Take action! Try to share his interests and be on the same page with him.

You've read a lot of advice. Most of them concerned situations where there is a prospect of causing reciprocal feelings. Well, what to do if there is no such hope at all, what to do in this case? After all, it is impossible to live, constantly feeling a nagging pain in your heart. They say that mental pain is much stronger than physical pain.

There's nothing you can do, you'll have to pull yourself together and try to come to terms with the idea that the person you're in love with is free and you need to respect his right to this freedom. You understand everything, but don’t know how to forget your loved one? Advice from a psychologist will help you do this. So:

1. Shake yourself up, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Down with laziness! Try to load yourself up with any activity as much as possible. If you don't know what to do, start renovating your apartment or simply rearrange the furniture. Mark the beginning of a new life with something meaningful.

3. Start meeting with friends more often, go to the theater, concerts, cinema, parties, etc. But avoid places where you can meet the person you want to forget.

4. Phrases about unrequited love, thoughts that you were not appreciated or reciprocated will still constantly come to mind at first. Don't accept such thoughts. You can argue mentally or out loud that someday he or she will definitely regret the missed opportunities, but their train will leave.

5. Finally, remember that there are many other representatives of the opposite sex in the world. Perhaps someone is showing interest in you, and maybe even worried about unrequited love for you. Try to respond to his feelings. What do you have to lose?

6. Take off your rose-colored glasses. Until now, you have looked at the merits of your loved one through a magnifying glass. Try swapping the pros for the cons. Perhaps you were very lucky that this person passed by.

7. Don’t throw yourself into your work, even though you might want to do just that. Organize your days so that there is always time to relax, to go to the stylist, to the pool or to the park for a walk.

8. Think about your loved ones. Perhaps while you were focused on your unhappy love, your parents, relatives or friends suffered from your inattention and needed help and support.

9. Pay attention to your health. Stress greatly reduces the body's defenses, and a weakened body, in turn, cannot resist stress. See what a vicious circle it turns out to be! You definitely need vitamins, fresh air, sun, positive emotions - all this increases the level of serotonin in the blood. And serotonin is the hormone of happiness.

10. If you do not want and cannot do anything to pull yourself out of the abyss of despair, this means that you have developed severe depression. It is very difficult to cope with it on your own. Try visiting a psychologist's office. Perhaps a specialist will consider it necessary to prescribe you antidepressants.

Fight fire with fire

Do you feel so depressed that you don't believe you can ever be happy? Throw away these thoughts! New love will definitely come, and the old one will be forgotten, just don’t close your heart. Monogamous people are very rare among people. Why do you think you are one of their kind?

Final word

Well, our conversation about how to survive unrequited love has come to an end. If you are reading these lines now, it means that you have read the article to the end, which, in turn, says that you are an inert person and are trying to help yourself and are actively looking for a way out of a difficult situation. We sincerely wish you happiness and mutual love, which (we are sure of this) will definitely happen in your life!

(January 5, 2012) N: have you encountered severe cases of unrequited love in your practice? how can you help a person?

The girl has been suffering alone for 13 years. She lives by this and dooms herself to loneliness.

Kostya: There are 3 simple ways. So that you understand correctly, falling in love, the feeling of attraction, is created by the subconscious. Just like other emotions. Her subconscious assessed that person as a good match - and created her love. So, the task is to deal with this emotion.

How I, in order not to suffer, began to represent the message of love in relationships

YouTube Video

Elena
better tune in for the good
Thank you!))))))))))))))
From here

Continuation: this is what I was told following the material above:

A.
Your conversation today about relationships is interesting. Here's my experience. Today I was riding on the subway, closed my eyes and felt a very powerful flow of love, warmth and energy coming towards me from a person who was far away. I felt very good.

Kostya
I would say “imagine and feel.”

A.
I didn’t know what was bothering me and how to work with it, there is energy that has no outlet not only on my part, but now I realized that I don’t even need communication and it’s so great and wonderful. There is simply a great source of love and energy directed in your direction and you bathe in it.

Resonates with systems theory and the three principles

(24 Dec 2013) I thought I could teach a class (or lead a class) on the topic “how not to suffer from unsuccessful love” - a popular topic. And then I saw that my recipe is to imagine that a relationship with a person radiates love - it’s about connections, about relationships, about .

(An example about the interaction of organs as parts of a single system.) As if the liver were suffering because the stomach was not friendly with it in the form in which it would like. Then the liver would have the idea that the stomach does not love it, that it is rejecting it - and it would suffer, in fact, not because of the stomach, but because of its thoughts that it is being rejected.

And if the liver imagines that real love pours into her relationship with her stomach, and that their relationship is already radiating love, and that they both enjoy feeling it - then she would immediately stop suffering.

Letting go of (unrequited) love using phrases from Ho'oponopono

And in the end, he stood by the wall and allowed himself to look at her (at the girl with whom he unrequitedly fell in love) without stopping. At least you can take a good look at it in dynamics. And at the same time he began to speak phrases from Ho’oponopono (Hawaiian technique of forgiveness):

I love you

I am very sorry

I'm sorry

Thank you

And this is what began to happen: I began to feel how the veil of love was disappearing, and I saw a living person in front of me, yes, beautiful woman, but alive, with my own interests, which do not really intersect with mine. A good, living, beautiful woman, but not as interesting to me as before. I already look at her not with the pleasure of a lover, but with interest - as at a friend, comrade, co-worker, acquaintance. With gratitude for what I went through and received with her help.

It seems that everything - this love is over. I'm moving on)))

I observe the feeling of falling in love and repeat “I love you”

I thought it was time to let go of the emotion, as I did two years ago in a similar case (see above), but then I simply directed my attention to this emotion - to this powerful, enveloping buzzing sensation - attraction...

True, no, I started to let go a little with the help of ( simplest option- repetition of the phrase “I love you”).

And this combination made the feeling of falling in love so pleasant! And not pressing. The need to get rid of this pressure, this influence, disappeared. To some extent, by paying attention to it, observing it, I transferred it from the automatic subconscious - into something well aware of my mind. And that means this emotion has ceased...

This means that I submitted his own product as input. falling in love is a recommendation for action from a certain set of programs in my mind. Observing this emotion, I made it not a force affecting me, but a part of the world (given to me in sensations). Made her, for a few minutes of observation, a large component of his world.

Now this emotion was analyzed by many programs in my mind, compared with other available information. And the heaviness and pressure disappeared, the buzzing and buzzing disappeared, and only a pleasant sensation remained.

In other words, I stopped resisting this emotion, stopped suppressing it, but also did not stupidly obey it. I accepted her, I observed her, I fell in love with her - and she stopped meddling in my affairs, stopped putting pressure on me.

Why did I feel this emotion of falling in love? Programs in the mind created it based on the constructions “here, she told you this, here you did that, here, she also treats you this way” - but these constructions were based on something from the past. By directing attention to this emotion, I created a situation where the programs in my mind were able to see a more complete picture in the now. Now there is no basis for this emotion - and it, like a pressing sensation, has disappeared. All that was left was a pleasant feeling.

Applicable to business - imagine that projects will go well

(2 Feb 2012) I was surprised to find that the same principle applies to business. You can, for example, imagine that your projects will develop well, and not poorly, which is projected by the subconscious.

I noticed increased anxiety in recent days when I started studying and began writing lists of projects and to-dos for them. I read from David Allen that the excitement comes from the fact that our p.s. starts to worry about everything that can go wrong in projects. I realized that, instead, I could start imagining that everything would go well in these projects! I immediately felt better!

Don’t deceive yourself into “faith” that everything will go well, but “just imagine” that everything will go well. How can we imagine that a relationship with a person radiates love - in order to stop suffering.

Then I thought - she does what she wants, follows her desires.

Then I realized and remembered - I can accept her desires, my desires, my emotions, as in yes-yes-yes. I applied “yes to all my emotions” to this situation - and I felt joyful!

Guys, we put our soul into the site. Thank you for that
that you are discovering this beauty. Thanks for the inspiration and goosebumps.
Join us on Facebook And In contact with

Love is a wonderful feeling that everyone dreams of. But when love is not reciprocated, the phrase “pain from a broken heart” becomes not a figurative expression at all. Scientists have proven that emotional pain activates the same neurons as physical pain. And if measures are not taken, the rejected lover may become depressed or seriously ill.

website will tell you how to cope with unrequited love so that this feeling does not ruin your life.

To erase unrequited love from your heart, you first need to realize that you and the one you love cannot be together. Your lover rejected you, he doesn’t need your feelings, and by seeking reciprocity, you put yourself in an awkward position and cause a lot of inconvenience to the other person. It doesn’t matter whether you were once in a relationship or your lover was never interested in you romantically, for any type of unhappy love, these tips will help you get rid of the destructive feelings.

1. Limit communication with the object of your passion

The wisdom “Out of sight, out of mind” did not arise out of nowhere. The less often you meet a person, the faster your feelings for him will cool down. Calls and messages on social networks that create the illusion of friendship should also be excluded. If you cannot completely stop communication, for example, you are in love with a colleague and it is impossible to resolve work issues without his participation, distance yourself as much as possible: conversations are exclusively on professional topics, meetings are strictly official.

2. Stop idealizing your lover and looking for flaws in yourself

Through the prism of falling in love, the world seems different, and the center of this world is the beloved. He is perceived as the best and ideal, and the fact that he does not reciprocate forms an inferiority complex. It should be remembered that in fact he is an ordinary person with his own shortcomings. The best thing to do is make a list of his negative qualities. If you find the trait of his character that irritates you most, remember all the unseemly actions and insults - the ideal will gradually collapse.

3. Get rid of things that remind you of your lover

Photos, gifts, joint purchases, clothes you wore on your first date with him, an accessory he praised... Everything that evokes associations with the person who rejected you needs to be removed from your sight: thrown away, sold, donate to a homeless shelter or just hide it for a while. This category also includes: the tune to which you dreamed of unfulfilled love, the book he recommended, the film you watched together. New things - new emotions. And this perfect occasion update your wardrobe, library and change your playlist.

4. Find new places to go that are just yours

Your favorite restaurant, where you often visited together, should also be forgotten for a while, as well as the park alley, walking along which you indulged in dreams of unfulfilled love. Explore new areas, visit new cafes and cinemas, change your usual route to work, and if there is such an opportunity, change your place of residence. Plus, moving is a great distraction.

5. Don’t beg sympathy from friends and acquaintances

Of course, a rejected lover wants to be pitied, but in most cases, sympathy only makes the situation worse. The more often you tell the story of your unhappy love, the more likely you are to convince yourself that the tragedy is on a much larger scale than it actually is. In addition, the more acquaintances you know about your emotional drama, the higher the chance of becoming the subject of gossip.

Friendly support, of course, is necessary, but it is better to choose one of the family members or one close friend who will listen carefully and support. The most reasonable thing to do is to ask the rest not to remind you of what happened, and to ignore other people’s curiosity.

6. Take up all your free time

To think as little as possible about the person with whom you cannot be together, try to schedule your day minute by minute: work, household chores, meetings with family and friends, time for hobbies, reading books, watching movies. There should be no time left in your schedule for feeling sorry for yourself.

7. Fill your life with new experiences

Love is, of course, wonderful, but there are many other important and interesting things in life. Set yourself a goal to become the best employee of the month, sign up for sports section or take some courses, join a team of volunteers to help others, go on vacation to a country with a completely new culture for you. If life around you is rich in events, new acquaintances and emotions, mental suffering will recede.

8. Try your hand at creativity

Unhappy love for many creators has become a catalyst for the creation of brilliant works of art. It is best to channel your experiences into a creative direction: write a book, a painting or a song. Emotion expressed through creativity becomes more positive.

Valeria Protasova

Reading time: 7 minutes

A A

Unrequited love is a dangerous feeling. It can drive a weak-spirited person into a corner and lead to suicide. Depression, constant thoughts about the object of adoration, the desire to call, write, meet, although you know for sure that this is not mutual at all - this is what causes unrequited love.

Drive away negative thoughts and listen to the advice of psychologists if you suffer from unrequited love .

How to get rid of unrequited love in 12 steps - instructions for finding happiness

• Get rid of internal conflict with yourself : Realize that there can be no future with your crush, you will never be able to be close.
  
  
  Understand that your feeling is not mutual and mentally let go of your loved one.
• Plunge into study, work . Come up with a new hobby: dancing, cycling, yoga, English, French or Chinese courses. Try to make sure that you simply have no time left for sad thoughts.
• Try changing your social circle. If possible, meet less often with friends who, even by their presence, remind you of your loved one.
• Change your image. Do new haircut, buy some new fashion items.
• Help solve problems for your loved ones and friends. You can sign up as a volunteer for a charity or help workers at an animal shelter.
• Do not accumulate negative emotions and thoughts in yourself, let them come out. The best remedy from the negative – it’s a sport.
  
  
  Visit the gym and throw off all the burden of your pessimistic thoughts on exercise machines and punching bags.
• Get your inner world in order. A broken heart needs to be healed by reading educational literature about self-knowledge and self-improvement. It will help to look at the world in a new way, will make you rethink life values and set your priorities correctly. Read also:
• Mentally put an end to the past and start making plans for the future. Set new goals for yourself and strive to achieve them.
• Increase your self-esteem. There are many affirmations and meditations on this topic. Don't focus on the one person who didn't appreciate you. Don't forget that you are a person created by God for joy and love. You have many positive qualities that you are without special effort define it in yourself, and everyone will have shortcomings. Work on yourself, get rid of bad habits, improve yourself.
• You probably remember the proverb “they knock out a wedge with a wedge”? Don't sit at home! Visit exhibitions, cinemas, theaters.
  
  
  Who knows, maybe your destiny is already very close and, perhaps, you will soon meet true mutual love, which will bring not suffering, but a sea of ​​happy days. Read also:
• If you feel like you can’t cope on your own, then it is better to consult with specialists . Contact a psychologist who can individually help you solve this problem.
• Value yourself and know that yours mutual love and fate will definitely find you soon!

Advice from psychologists on how to survive unrequited love and never return to it again

Unrequited love is familiar to many. Here are the types of requests and questions specialists receive, and what do psychologists advise? :

Marina: Hello, I'm 13 years old. For two years now I have liked a guy from my school, who is now 15 years old. I see him at school every day, but I don’t dare approach him. What to do? I suffer from unrequited love.

In this situation psychologists advise find this person in in social networks and chat with him. From this virtual dialogue it will be possible to understand what actions can be taken in real life.

Vladimir: Help! I think I'm starting to go crazy! I love a girl who simply doesn't pay any attention to me. I have nightmares at night, I’ve lost my appetite, and I’ve completely given up on studying. How to deal with unrequited love?

Psychologists recommend doing the following: Imagine looking at the current situation from the future, with a time interval of two years. After such a time, this problem will not matter in the slightest.

You can travel in your fantasies into the future, several years, months ahead, and into the past. Tell yourself that this time was not very successful, but next time you will definitely be lucky. By moving mentally through time, you can discover and develop a productive attitude towards the situation.

Even these negative situations will bring positivity to the future: by experiencing not very good events now, you will be able to better assess the components of your future life and gain experience.

Svetlana: I am in the 10th grade and unrequitedly love a 17-year-old guy from the 11th grade of our school. We met with him in general company four times. Then he started dating a girl from his class, and I continued to wait, hope and believe that he would soon be mine. But he recently broke up with ex-girlfriend and began to show signs of attention to me. I should be happy, but for some reason my soul felt even heavier than before. And if he asks me to date, I will most likely refuse - I’m not going to be an alternate airfield. But I also really want to be with this guy. What to do, how to forget unrequited love? I do my homework, go to bed, think about him and torment myself. Please give me some advice!

Psychologist's advice: Svetlana, if the guy you like couldn’t take a step towards meeting you, then take the initiative into your own hands. Perhaps he is shy, or thinks he is not your type.

Try to be the first to start a dialogue. Find him on social networks and write to him first. This way you can establish initial contact and find common ground in interests and other topics.

Take action. Otherwise, you will continue to experience unrequited love. Who knows - maybe he is in love with you too?

Sofia: How to get rid of unrequited love? I love without reciprocity and understand that there is no prospect, no hope for a future together, but only emotional experiences and suffering. They say that you need to thank Life for what gives you the opportunity to love. After all, if you love, it means you live. But why is it very difficult to let go of a person and forget unrequited love?

Psychologist's advice: Unrequited love is a mirage. A person draws an image in his imagination and falls in love with this ideal, and not with a real person with his shortcomings and merits. If love is unrequited, then there is no relationship as such. Love is always two people, and if one of them does not want to take part in the relationship, then it is not a love relationship.

Share with your friends: admin

The unfortunate thing resonates in my soul with such a sharp pain, as if a sharp knife is piercing my heart. This feeling is depressing, bringing with it despondency, emptiness, helplessness and endless tears.

Regardless of what caused such a feeling - lack of reciprocity or separation - you can stop suffering from unhappy love. Getting rid of suffering is a difficult but surmountable path.

What to do to stop suffering from unhappy love?

First of all, realize that you are not loved. Hoping for reciprocity, you can do a lot of stupid things that you will later regret.

Second: understand that they don’t like you because of your shortcomings. It’s not about your appearance, modesty, arrogance or other personal qualities - he just sees another person next to him.

Lack of interest on his part does not mean that you are unworthy of guys' attention. And in general, love is a feeling that rarely lends itself to logical explanation. It often happens that everything seems to be with you, but the object of your adoration leaves for another girl. So guessing and looking for reasons within yourself is a pointless waste of time, it just didn’t work out.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. The feeling you experience is already happiness; love, even unhappy, can not only bring pain and suffering, but also inspiration and strength for new deeds and achievements.
Achieve reciprocity if that makes sense. This should be done as carefully, unobtrusively and unobtrusively as possible. Just change in better side, discover new talents and interesting sides in yourself, be positive. Perhaps yours positive energy, but even if not, then by improving yourself, you will look at the world with new eyes.
Try switching to another object. But this should not be proof to everyone that you are worthy of love. You must be seriously interested in a person, and pretend love will not overcome your previous feelings, but will only strengthen them, bringing with it even more unpleasant emotions and disappointments.
Think about anything but him. Find yourself, immerse yourself in this matter headlong. Borrow free time so that there is not a single minute left to think.
Don't close yourself off. Communicate with the people around you, do not refuse to go on a visit or to a movie, be in the company of friends or people you like as often as possible.
Don't look for someone to blame. There is no one to blame in this situation. It could be you or him, or even the fact that the stars weren't aligned for you as a couple.
Avoid meeting him. The less you see him, the less often you will think about him. Get rid of all the things that remind you of him.
Daily trainings. Every morning, remind yourself that you are an individual and worthy of happiness. Dreams and thoughts about your loved one depress you, press you, bring you grief, so throw them out of your head. Think that true love brings joy, and the one that sits inside you is a habit, an attachment, anything, but not the bright feeling that you think about. Try to imagine that your love is a disease and it urgently needs to be treated.

Complete relief from suffering

Sometimes it will be difficult to follow the advice; you will want to hide in a dark corner or hide under the covers and not see or hear anyone. But such behavior will worsen the situation. As you continue to live, over time you yourself will not understand how it happened that you think less and less about him, and even if you remember, it is without that pain in your chest that previously prevented you from breathing.

Remember: everything is in your hands and, first of all, your happiness!

26 February 2014, 16:01