Two dates

Psychics and magicians talk about the multivariance of the future and promise at their sessions any development of events. Psychologists assure us that with the help of special psychotechnics it is even possible to guess the "rainy day" and move it as far as possible.
Undoubtedly, each person has a choice of directions in which the life path can change in one direction or another. But ... as evidenced by numerous facts and ancient treatises, these changes concern only the foundations of life and can occur within two originally programmed dates - the day of arrival in this world and the day of departure. We can influence the quality of our life, but we cannot afford to change the most important dates.
Researchers from Stanford (California, USA) recently completed an experiment called "Life Span", begun ... 90 years ago, in 1921. The experiment involved more than one and a half thousand children, which were monitored throughout their lives. The analysis of the results surprised scientists. It turned out that people with a good sense of humor, who had a happy childhood, lived on average less than the rest. It also turned out that love for pets, contrary to popular belief, does not extend life. And marriage, like divorce, does not affect health in any way. Those who are loved and cared for, feel happier throughout life, but this also does not affect its duration.

The blind clairvoyant Wang believed that no one would escape what was prescribed by fate.

Own way
Let us turn to the great clairvoyant and diviner Wang. The niece and personal biographer of the Bulgarian fortune teller Krasimir Stoyanova in his book “Vanga: Confession of the Blind Clairvoyant” gives the following dialogue:

If it so happens that you see a close misfortune or even the demise of a person who has come to you from above that has been given to you with inner vision, can you do something to avoid this misfortune?

No, neither I nor anyone else can do anything.

And if the troubles, even catastrophic ones, threaten not only one person, but a group of people, the whole city, state, is it possible to prepare something in advance?

It's useless.

Does the fate of man depend on his inner, moral strength, physical abilities? Is it possible to influence fate?

It is impossible. Each will go his own, and only his own way. "

Sathya Sai Baba was mistaken in predicting the date of his own death.

Gloomy foresight

Some people implicitly feel the approach of their death. For each, this manifests itself in different ways. Someone is trying to put all their affairs in order. Someone begins to be interested in the structure of the universe, to think about the meaning of life, God, the soul. And someone becomes discouraged, loses interest in life, as if physically and psychologically preparing himself for the transition to a different form of existence.
The ability to predict his death is most clearly manifested in the work of poets and writers. Moreover, often the authors in their works not only foresaw the approach of their end, but also described in detail, in detail, the circumstances of their death.

Nikolai Rubtsov predicted that he would die in the winter.

Nikolai Rubtsov prophetically wrote in one of his poems:

“I will die in Epiphany frosts,
I will die when birches crack. ”

Although then there was no sign of tragedy, he died on January 19, at Baptism.
Fedor Sologub in a poem of 1913, 14 years before his death, predicted to himself:

“Darkness will destroy me in December.
In December, I will stop living. ”

"In the midday heat in the valley of Dagestan
I was motionless with lead in my chest. ”

It happened as the poet had foreseen. He died in a duel after Martynov’s shot.
And here the question remains debatable: either the writers really “saw” something from the future through intuition, or, again, thanks to the gift of imagination and the ability to create their own worlds, they formed their own model of withdrawal.
In all likelihood, poets somehow get knowledge about the future from their subconscious, listening to the inner "I", which is closely connected with the Higher Mind - a repository where there are answers to all existing questions.
This fact is also surprising: many people who do not have the gift of foresight and do not know when their earthly path will end can easily answer how this will happen.

John Lennon, shortly before his death, became a hermit.

But it also happens that a person is afraid of something and attracts tragic events with his fears. No wonder the ancients said: "We ourselves are inviting guests to the feast of our thoughts."
The writer Venedikt Erofeev wrapped himself in scarves all his life, fastened his collar tightly, as if he were protecting himself from a future incurable disease, which subsequently overtook him. The writer died of throat cancer.
The legendary musician John Lennon, shortly before his death, suddenly became a hermit, hiding in his house. As if anticipating the impending assassination attempt, he stopped communicating with the world, stopped going out. Moreover, according to the memoirs of loved ones, he began to be interested in the topic of murders, with fear imagining how a person feels, into whose body a bullet enters.
It is noted that people who are destined for a short life, live it very brightly and fruitfully, try to make it all. They say about them: in a hurry to live. How many ingenious poets left our world at a young age, leaving the greatest creative legacy to their descendants (M.Yu. Lermontov died at the age of 26, Sergei Yesenin died at 30). While other long-lived talents - only after 40-50 years began to realize their great ideas. There are many artists who have created their works over the age of 70 years. Titian painted the best paintings in almost 100 years. Verdi, Strauss and many other composers composed music until the age of 80.

"The time has come"

There is an assumption that our soul knows about the time allotted to us, and when this time comes, it pushes a person to a critical situation. You can recall the story of the death of a wonderful poet and singer Igor Talkov. The tragedy occurred behind the scenes of the Jubilee Sports Palace. Singer Aziza asked Talkov through her friend Igor Malakhov to speak to her, because she did not have time to prepare. But the singer did not agree. A conflict arose during which Talc was shot with a pistol. The singer’s director, Valery Shlyafman, was accused of unintentional murder, trying to tear a gun from the hands of another person and accidentally pulling the trigger. But there are no accidents, as you know.
According to the memoirs of the widow Tatkova Tatyana, the singer never carried a gun with him, but on that day for some reason he took a gas pistol to the concert. And when a generally innocuous argument broke out, he was the first to take out a weapon and start firing into the air, thereby provoking Malakhov to grab onto his pistol loaded with live ammunition. And, who knows, maybe if Talcov hadn't taken a weapon with him, everything would have worked out. But, most likely, that day the inner team of the soul worked - “the time has come”, and in accordance with this the whole subsequent scenario was built.
Ancient oriental texts contain knowledge that a person comes to this world exactly when the need for universal evolutionary development arises, and leaves it at that hour when the mission is completed. Not earlier and not later. And it is very important to realize that death is not only inevitable and is part of the universal world order, but that death is not the end, but the transition of consciousness to a higher spiritual level.

Incredible facts

It happens that misfortunes suddenly fall into our lives with a snowball.

Everything is getting out of control and it seems that troubles will never end.

People tend to look for reasons for such bad luck, and perhaps we have an answer.

If these items are in your home, throw them away or try to find a replacement for them, otherwise they will cause confusion in your life.

Signs and superstitions in the house

1. Dead items

If you forgot to water the flowers and the leaves began to dry, you should say goodbye to them. Keeping such flowers in the house is a big setback.

Stuffed animals and birds, and even shells, can also be referred to dead objects. Clean your shelves regularly so that they don’t have a bad aura on them.

2. Photos and pictures with disasters

If you have an image of catastrophes in your house, this will cause trouble for you. Other natural phenomena, such as heavy rain or snowstorm, causing you negative emotions, can also be attributed to objects with poor energy. If, looking at the picture with the rain, you experience romantic or tender feelings, then you can leave it.

  3. Items without a pair

Many of us have a boot, slippers, or skiing in our house that has lost steam. We store these items because they are dear to us or cause nostalgia for the old days. It's time to send them to the landfill if you want to avoid problems.

4. The stopped clock

Always make sure that all the hours in your home work. The stopped clock, according to signs, predicts death in the family. If you cannot repair them, it is time for you to get rid of them.

5. Shabby broom

Everything you use in your home for cleaning should be in good condition. If your broom is left with a single flaw, but you feel sorry for throwing it away, it's time to reconsider your views. Buy a new broom, otherwise the old one will incur financial losses in the house.

6. Photos you do not like

It is logical that all objects that cause you depression and sadness, it is better not to store. Negative emotions will accumulate, and it will be difficult for you to find happiness.

Signs and beliefs of the house

7. Small debris in pockets, wallet and bag

Big problems usually start with smaller ones. All the garbage that we carry with us brings disharmony into our lives.

8. Everything that you do not use for more than 3 years

If a thing has not been used for a long time, energy stagnates, and this restrains the progress and development of your life. There is no need to keep in the house that you are unlikely to ever use in practice.

9. Broken glass

Broken glass, including mirrors, reflective glass and other fragile objects, create a gap in your protection. According to legend, mirrors stole souls, and therefore, when someone was dying, mirrors were always covered in the house so that the dead spirit would not get stuck inside the mirror.

10. Old things

If you cannot throw away old things, donate them to charity. Do not store items of clothing that you do not plan to wear.

11. Expired calendar

If this is a flip calendar, make sure that it shows the correct month and day. Since this item reminds us of the past time, its improper use can negatively affect your life, for example, shorten it.

12. Broken or cracked dishes

If you see a crack on a plate or cup, do not hesitate to throw them away. The thing is that dishes symbolize wealth and family. When you eat from broken dishes, you subconsciously bring misfortune and misfortune upon yourself.

13. Thorny plants

According to some signs, cacti in the house and plants with thorns (with the exception of roses) attract negative energy and failure to the house.

14. An empty rocking chair

A rocking chair lures dark forces so that they crouch there. Even worse, if you suddenly saw how the chair began to swing itself. This suggests that the evil spirit has already settled and can bring misfortune and death to the house.

15. Green walls

This color is considered unlucky for the walls, since earlier arsenic was used for green wallpapers and fabrics. When they got wet, poison gas killed people. Times have changed, but the sign has remained.

Alexander asks:  "Hello. I ask you to answer a question that interests me for a long time. To be precise, it is one of the most important questions for me at the moment. Is there a predestination of fate or situations from God? If something bad happens in a person’s life / negative / unwanted / critically terrible event, then who is it from? How to find out? Is this a test from God, or did man do it on his own for unreasonableness, or did the devil plant a bomb for him at the time? How can I find out? Tell me please . "

Peace be with you, Alexander!

Once Jesus was asked about a man who suffered from birth:

Jesus answered like this:

Another example:

1 At this time, some came and told him about the Galileans, whom Pilate mixed the blood with their victims.

2 Jesus told them this: Do you think that these Galileans were more sinful than all the Galileans, that they suffered so much?

3 No, I tell you, but if you do not repent, you will all the same perish.

4 Or do you think that those eighteen people on whom the tower of Siloam fell and defeated them were guilty of all those living in Jerusalem?

5 No, I tell you, but if you do not repent, you will all the same perish.

6 And he said this parable: Someone had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came to seek fruit on it, and did not find it;

7 And he said to the winegrower: behold, the third year I come to seek fruit in this fig tree, and I find not; cut it down: what does it take the earth to do?

8 But he answered him: Sir! leave it for this year, while I dig it and overlay it with manure, -

9 will not bear fruit; if not, then in the next [year] you will cut it down.

In this question two key points:

1) Who is to blame? Who is causing the situation?

2) Can a person do something? What is the responsibility of man?

Answer options  at the first key moment - to blame God devil man accident.

Answer options  at the second key moment - a person cannot do anything, maybe (but not all), a person is fully responsible for everything that happens in his life.

Alexander, your worldview question. At different periods of time, different theologians interpreted it differently and gave different answers. After all, the doctrine of predestination and free will did not arise from scratch. In particular, in the doctrine of "theoditions" ("theodicy") - the justification of God that there is a human choice (freedom).

I will say more, the "future" of a person, the course of his life, depends on a personal answer to this question. And here, as never before, the truth of Scripture is reflected - according to your faith be it unto you. Any answer that will be given can be disputed by someone outside, but can be confirmed by the life experience of a particular character.

I just want to follow along with you logical continuation  each answer option. I will describe the extreme positions of views.

• If God is guilty of suffering, then God may not be kind, then He cannot be trusted to avoid suffering, He may be indifferent or even cruel. We live in an aggressive world, there is no absolute good, "man to man is a wolf."

• If the devil is guilty of suffering, then there is a spiritual struggle, our fate depends on the choice of the party, staying on one of the parties does not provide absolute protection precisely in view of the struggle.

• If the person is to blame, a causal relationship determines our life. We ourselves provoke our own (and not only) problems. We ourselves can correct them in the future (or vice versa - we cannot, due to the previous choice).

• If chance is to blame, there is little that can be affected, because we are only chance in this Universe, no one controls it, and we do not control it. You can just live while there is such an opportunity, a lot depends on us. There is no higher purpose.

Personally, my understanding is somewhere between the second and third approaches - that there is a spiritual struggle in which a person makes choices and is responsible. On the one hand, a lot depends on a person’s choice, but on the other hand, not everything, therefore there are higher and more powerful forces than one person on his own.

What can a person do (again, we follow the options):

• nothing - we are passive observers of some collective processes,

• something can - it makes sense to make efforts, but you need help from above
• all situations depend only on personal choice - responsibility is only on me, everything that is in my life depends only on me, and not on God, Satan, collective processes and other things.

To explain the arguments, the strengths and weaknesses of each position - you need to write books or give lectures ...

Therefore, my understanding is brief: suffering can be provoked both by our choice and by the result of the enemy’s action. This does not mean that all suffering must be reconciled, but it does not mean that all suffering can be completely corrected. Those. I try as much as possible, I do what depends on me, I make efforts - but the result objectively depends on a whole range of factors besides my activity (on other people, circumstances, “blessings from above”, etc.). Therefore, we pray to God and ask for instructions of His will.

To summarize, I will quote the words of such a prayer:

"Lord, give me the courage to change that which I can change, give me peace of mind to accept that which I cannot change. And give me the wisdom to distinguish one from the other."

God bless you

Read more on the topic "Morality of choice, ethics":

Faced with a black stripe, we like to blame circumstances or even suspect damage. But sometimes ordinary things that attract poverty and stagnation to the house are sometimes to blame.

Often the life stream is “littered" thanks to our own efforts. You can avoid this if you end things that bring only troubles and troubles. Even when everything in life is safe, from time to time it is worth conducting a kind of audit. You can turn cleaning into a ritual: both psychologists and Feng Shui experts will unanimously say that when you clean the living space around you, a person begins to feel better. Understanding the cabinets, we put on the shelves and thoughts.

10 things that attract negative to the house

What are esotericists and even folk signs advised to get rid of first of all?

1. Broken glass.  It can be a cracked window, a broken mirror or a mug with a breakaway handle. Do not store them at home, because broken glass symbolizes a breach in protection.

2. Old things.Worn clothes, newspapers or magazines that you will no longer read - all this is a place in the past and in a landfill. If suddenly the blouse that is so dear to you never fits on you, and throwing it away does not raise a hand - it is better to give it to charity.

3. “Dead” things.The first among them are dry flowers. Such compositions are very fond of many housewives. But all that is obsolete is the necrotic energy of wilting. This list also includes stuffed animals, dried butterflies or beetles, animal horns and bird feathers. Of course, there are also exceptions to the rules: if the herbarium from your beloved daughter, when she was small, is anxiously stored in your table, there will be no harm from it. The same applies to feathers or horns that decorate rooms without being taken from a dead animal. Holiday shells should be kept as souvenirs only for those who regularly care for them. But the rest is better to hand out or throw away. And the dried indoor plants are exactly the first candidates for a landfill, until they have added to the list of things-energy vampires.

4. Any thing that has not been used for more than three years.Even if it is completely new, the energy of stagnation begins to accumulate in it. Either give her a second life, or think about it. Perhaps it’s time to build a table somewhere that you haven’t been sitting at for ten years, and those same trousers from the sale, just like new, but obviously not in size?

5. Small debris in your pocket or purse.  From small begins big. It is unlikely that all these candy wrappers and tickets are happy?

6. Photos you don't like.The negative that you feel when looking at the photo, over and over again absorbs your own image. Thus, you can even accidentally jinx yourself.

7. The clock that stands.Stopping time is a very bad sign. Or take them for repair, or throw them away without thinking. At worst, you can turn a heavy floor clock into a piece of furniture, such as a table, and a wall clock into a frame for a photo or a hanger.

8. Unpaired things.  Special attention should be paid to a ski (one) standing on the balcony, a ski pole (one) or slippers that fell over the shoe shelf (of course, one). Such household items will no longer serve as a benefit and only interfere with acquiring new purchases, blocking energy.

9. A frayed broom.About the broom is worth mentioning separately. Broom, mop, broom - not just tools for cleaning. A lot of signs are connected with a broom about brownies - helpers in your home and who are also responsible for material well-being. An old, bald broom leads to drying up finances. Therefore, everything you put in order should itself be in order.

10. Pictures and photographs depicting a storm, inclement weather or bad weather.True, if it seems to you that watercolors with rain are lyrical and very beautiful, you can leave them. Just take a closer look and feel the depicted: if the picture brings disturbing thoughts, it is better to find another owner for it.

By the way, not only “unlucky" things bring misfortune and misfortune. Sometimes even talismans can cause failure if they are used incorrectly. For example, not everyone knows how to hang a horseshoe for good luck. The correct answer is so that it forms a cup shape. Otherwise, your "cup" turns upside down, and no happiness in it will not linger. And decorative brooms for luck are usually bolted down to make the house like the house.

So that trouble does not linger on your doorstep, protect your home with effective amulets and conspiracies. Do the cleaning in a timely manner, you can light candles in the rooms from time to time: they clean the house well from negativity. And do not forget to press the buttons and

24.10.2016 04:16

Many superstitions warn of failures and troubles, but a bad prediction should not become an occasion for ...

At first it will be difficult to accept the loss, but you have the opportunity not to dive deeper into your condition, and try to cope with stress.

The worst test in life is death and the pain of loss

As practice shows, it is impossible to fully prepare for the death of a dear person, even if he was sick, and such an outcome has already been determined by doctors. Such a loss usually results in severe emotional shake-up and depression. After that, a grieving person himself can, as it were, "fall out of life" for a long time.

Unfortunately, there is no quick way to get out of the depressed state provoked by the death of a loved one, but measures must be taken to ensure that this misfortune does not result in a severe form of depression for you. As a rule, after the death of a close relative or friend, people begin to feel guilty, feeling that they have not done all that is good for the deceased that he deserved. A lot of thoughts related to the deceased person are scrolled in the head, which causes general depression.

4 stages of grief

1. Shock and shock. For some, this stage can last several minutes, while someone plunges into a similar state for long days. A person cannot fully understand what has happened; he is as if in a “frozen” state. From the side it may even seem that the tragic incident did not make much influence on him, but in fact he is simply in the deepest shock.

2. Non-acceptance and complete denial, depression. A person does not want to accept what happened and think about what will happen next. The realization that life will never be the same again seems terrible to him, and he tries in every possible way to forget himself, just not to think about what happened. From the side it may seem that the person seemed numb. He either avoids or does not support all talk of loss. However, there is another extreme - increased fussiness. In the second case, the mourner actively begins to engage in any business - sorting out the things of the deceased, clarifying all the circumstances of the tragedy, organizing the funeral, and so on. As a result, sooner or later comes the understanding that life has changed dramatically, which leads to stress, and then to depression.

3. Awareness of loss. The full realization of what happened. It can happen all of a sudden. For example, a person involuntarily reaches for a telephone to call a relative or friend, and suddenly understands why this is no longer possible. Awareness can also come gradually. Having passed the stage of denial, a person begins to scroll through the head of many events related to the deceased.

This stage may be accompanied by outbreaks of anger and resentment. What is happening seems unfair and terrible, and the awareness of the irreparable situation angers and disturbs. Many options are being considered in which the outcome could be different. A man begins to be angry with himself, believing that it was in his power to prevent misfortune. It also repels other people, becoming irritable and depressed.

4. Acceptance and mourning. Usually this stage occurs in a few months. In particularly difficult cases, the situation may be delayed. Having gone through the most acute stages of grief, a person begins to come to terms with what happened. His life has been flowing in a different direction for some time, and he begins to get used to it, gradually “reorganizing”. Memories of the deceased cause him sadness, and from time to time he mourns the dear person.

How to help a person suffer the death of loved ones

Trying to help their neighbor easier to bear the loss, many are trying to find a way to completely distract him from what happened, avoiding conversations on this topic. But this is not always correct. Check out general guidelines for help in these situations.

Do not ignore the talk of the deceased

If less than six months have passed since the tragedy, then you should understand that the thoughts of your friend or relative most often revolve around it. Sometimes it is very important for him to speak out, and sometimes to cry. Do not shut yourself off from these emotions, do not force a person to suppress them in himself, remaining alone with experiences. Of course, if a lot of time has passed, and all the conversations come down to the deceased, then they should be dosed.

Distract the mourner from his grief

The first time the mourner is not interested in anything - he will only need moral support from you. However, after several weeks, it is worth periodically giving a person’s thoughts a different direction. Persistently invite him to interesting places, enroll in exciting courses and the like.

Switch the attention of the sufferer

Often people are somewhat distracted from the events that occurred, realizing that someone else needs their help. Show the mourner that you need him in a particular situation. Also significantly accelerate the process of overcoming depression can take care of a pet. If you see that a person has a lot of free time, as a result of which becomes immersed in his experiences, then give him a puppy or kitten, or simply give it “temporarily” to overexposure, saying that there is nowhere to attach it to. Over time, he himself will not want to refuse a new friend.

1. Do not refuse the help of loved ones

Do not push people who seek to support you in your grief. Share your experiences with them, take an interest in their life - communication will help you not to lose touch with the outside world and not to plunge into your state.

2. Take care and take care of yourself

Many people experiencing the pain of loss wave their hand at their appearance and, in general, at some kind of self-care. And yet, this is the necessary minimum that you should not forget about - washing your hair, bathing, brushing your teeth, doing things. The same applies to eating. It is clear that you do not need anything of this right now, and all your thoughts are occupied by others, but still do not ignore your needs.

3. Write a letter to a deceased person

Surely, you believe that you did not have much to say to a loved one, you did not admit much. Put everything untold on paper. Write how you miss this person, what would you do if he were nearby, what you regret, and so on.

4. Do not suppress emotions

Perhaps it seems to you that if you in every possible way suppress the external manifestations of grief, then in this way you will quickly cope with the overwhelming misfortune. Nevertheless, you simply “lock up” your emotions and feelings, and do not allow them to break free. Better pay your sorrow - it will be easier for you.

5. Try to get distracted

Of course, now for you there is nothing more important than your loss, but do not forget that your life goes on, like the lives of those who are dear to you. Undoubtedly, many of them are also going through hard times and need your support. Communicate with family people, together it will be easier for you to survive this pain.

6. Psychologist help

It’s very difficult for some to come to terms with the new situation on their own. If you understand that the situation is getting worse and your depression has dragged on, make an appointment with a psychologist - he will advise you on how to deal with the bitterness of loss.

How to accept the departure of a relative to another world

What the Church and Orthodoxy Say About It

To facilitate the afterlife of the deceased, the church teaches to believe in the mercy of God, to place candles in the church for the repose of the soul, and to pray for the deceased. A bloodless sacrifice should also be made - this is about alms and help to the suffering. It is believed that God will be able to hear your prayers if you honor his commandments. Especially do not neglect this in the first forty days after the death of a loved one. If you are not sure how to do everything right, go to the nearest church and consult with the priest.

Is it possible to prepare for the death of a native

If a person is terminally ill - spend more time with him

If the person is in an unconscious state, provide proper care for him, and still spend a lot of time next to him. Talk with the patient, talk about your brightest memories connected with him, say everything that you wanted to say, but did not have time. It is likely that in fact the person will hear you - many patients who come out of a coma admitted that they remember everything that they were told while they were unconscious.

Work involves constant risk - value every moment you live

The best thing you can do is to convince him to change his job, even if it brings a high income. In the event of an irreparable situation, you will certainly blame yourself for not insisting on a job change. Consider other options for earning with him, but you will certainly convince him to change his sphere of activity, because even if nothing bad happens, it will not save you from constant stress and anxiety.

Relative in advanced return - accept the inevitability of imminent death

It is important for you and for him to spend more time together. People in old age often like to remember the stories of youth, they are interested in everything that happens in the lives of children and grandchildren, and they are very happy when they are interested in their opinions. It is in your power to make the final stage of the life of a loved one happy and bright.

The death of a beloved pet - how to overcome mental anguish

1. Accept the inevitability of what is happening. Of course, you understand that quite a few animals differ in terms of life commensurate with the human. If your cat, dog or other pet is seriously ill or is at an advanced age, be sure to consult a doctor who will tell you how to improve your pet's life. Also take an interest in your four-legged friend and how he can be helped in his position.

2. Take a photo as a keepsake. The first time after the death of a cat or dog, it will not be easy for you to look at this photo, but it will take some time, and the image of your favorite pet, as well as memories of it, can cause a smile on your face.

3. More often be near. Pamper the animal, let it pranks, feed it with your favorite foods, take care of it, iron it more often. Make him happy and in the most comfortable situations for himself. Tell other family members what is about to happen - prepare them, and give them a similar opportunity to enjoy “chatting” with the pet.

4. After death. No matter what the death was - predictable or sudden - dealing with it is equally difficult.

• Do not keep emotions in yourself and give vent to emotions as often as you require. This is a natural reaction of a person to waste communication with an expensive creature. Share your experiences with loved ones - for sure, they will want to hold you.
• This is a great test for all family members - maybe some of them need your support.
• Many owners experience guilty feelings after the death of the pet, if it occurred prematurely. Do not reproach yourself or a loved one in what happened.
• Tell about your experiences to people who are dear to you. Surely, they will want to support you, and so you can easily bear the loss.
• Help other suffering animals. Undoubtedly, in your city there is not only a shelter, and in general there are a lot of animals in the streets that need protection. It is possible that in the end you become attached to one of them and want to bring it to your home. Undoubtedly, he will never replace you with your beloved four-legged friend, but you can save the animal from adversity and find another comrade among “our smaller brothers”.

What to do with depression after the death of a loved one?

Every day, for various reasons, a huge number of people die on Earth, leaving behind close people who sincerely mourn them. The experience of bereavement in the form of depression or even deep grief after the death of a loved one (for example, a mother or husband) is an absolutely normal reaction to such a loss. And especially acutely people experience the death of a child (son or daughter).

However, in some people, such natural manifestations of grief as guilt, insomnia, numbness and sobbing can lead to more serious manifestations, including grief (deep grief) and depressive mental disorder (major clinical depression).

Symptoms of Natural Grief

Grief differs from natural grief in its duration and intensity. People with normal grief can often explain why they are sad. They continue to function normally in society, and, as a rule, are able to overcome their strong sadness within a relatively short period of time (usually within a month or two).

Usually after the death of a very close person (husband, mother, son or daughter, brother or sister), such strong feelings as grief or depression can intensify for several days, weeks or even months. And sometimes such a depression can develop even after the death of a beloved animal.

Almost every person, faced with the death of a loved one (especially a child, mother, beloved husband), will experience such natural symptoms:

• guilt for what they did (or did not) before the death of a loved one. So, a mother can reproach herself for not saving her son;
• obsessive thoughts, like this: “It would be better if I died instead of my husband!” So, parents may regret that death did not take them instead of the child;
• the imaginary feeling that they see or hear the deceased;
• trouble sleeping
• change in eating habits and physical activity;
• desire to be in social isolation.

Stages of loss and sorrow

To understand how real clinical depression can develop out of ordinary grief, you need to know what stages people go through after the death of a loved one (husband, mother, child, etc.). In 1969, psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross presented 5 stages of grief after the death of a loved one in her book On Death and Dying. These stages of grief are universal, people from all walks of life are faced with them.

In case of loss, a person spends a different amount of time at each stage. In addition, each stage may differ in its intensity. These five stages can occur in any order. We often move between these stages until we come to terms with death. All people grieve differently. Some people are outwardly very emotional, while others will experience grief in themselves, perhaps even without tears. But, one way or another, all people go through five stages of grief:

The first stage is denial and isolation;

The second stage is anger;

The third stage is bargaining;

The fourth stage is depression;

The fifth stage is adoption.

Although all the emotions that people experience at any of these stages are natural, not all who grieve go through all these stages - and this is also normal. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to go through all these stages in order to live on. In fact, some people are able to grieve, bypassing any of these stages. So do not worry about what you are “obligated” to feel or what stage you should be at now.

When does Grief become Depression?

All of the above symptoms and stages of grief are absolutely normal. They help people adapt to loss and accept new conditions of life after the death of a loved one.

The distinction between grief and clinical depression is not always easy to spot because they have many common symptoms, but there is still a difference.

Remember, grief appears in waves. It includes a wide range of emotions and a combination of good and bad days. Even when you grieve very much, you can still have moments of joy or happiness. And with depression, the feeling of emptiness and despair is constant.

If a grieving person experiences severe symptoms of depression, then it's time to seek help. This must be done in cases where a grieving person notes:

• lack of concentration and complete inability to concentrate;
• unusually keen sensations of own uselessness or guilt;
• anxiety or depression, which does not go away, but only intensifies with time;
• sleep problems that last more than six weeks;
• obsessive memories during the day and nightmares at night, which constantly keep a person in suspense;
• a sharp increase or loss of weight;
• unexplained physical symptoms, such as unreasonable pain in a particular part of the body, rapid heartbeat, excessive sweating, digestive problems or difficulty breathing;
• thoughts that the deceased continues to be nearby, visual or auditory hallucinations;
• strange or asocial behavior;
• thoughts about suicide, which can stop only very serious arguments (for example, the presence of another mother by the mother);
• breaking all social contacts.

All of these symptoms may indicate the onset of clinical depression due to the death of a loved one. If any of these symptoms lasts more than two months after the death of a loved one, this serves as a signal that the person needs the help of a professional.

Symptoms of depression or post-traumatic shock will be most pronounced if a person witnesses the sudden death of loved ones, or was nearby during the death of a loved one, such as a child.

Depression as a complication of grief

Negative feelings such as hopelessness and helplessness are part of the normal process of mourning, but they can also be symptoms of depression or other mental disorders. But sometimes the sorrow normal in this situation turns into a mental disorder. Depression is only one of a number of mental disorders that can be associated with the death of a loved one. Other disorders include generalized anxiety disorder and post-traumatic stress.

No wonder one of the proposed future changes in the classification of mental illness proposed by American psychiatrists is the introduction of a new category of mental illness - a burdened experience of sorrow. The aggravated experience of grief, which is also sometimes called traumatic or prolonged grief, is suggested to be considered a complex mental disorder. They will be diagnosed if the general symptoms of severe grief, such as longing after the death of a loved one (husband, child or other relatives), difficulties moving on, depression or anger after such a loss, last for more than six months.

Diagnosis of complicated grief disorder is expected to be based on two criteria:

The first criterion. The grieving person yearns for the deceased daily and very intensely.

The second criterion. A person should have at least five of the following symptoms that should be observed, as well as prevent him from functioning normally:

• the impossibility of accepting this death;
• feeling of daze or shock after the death of a loved one;
• anger or bitterness experienced after the death of relatives (for example, anger at the husband that he left his wife);
• numbness or stupor (this often happens after losing a child);
• difficulties in determining the purpose of life after loss;
• extreme uncertainty of their role in life;
• avoiding everything that is a reminder of death;
• inability to trust people, because such a person believes that a loved one betrayed him with his death;
• the feeling that life has lost all meaning.

Prevention of Depression After Loss

After grief becomes clinical depression, it can no longer be overcome by ordinary mourning, so in this case you can not do without consulting a psychotherapist. Treatment for such depression usually includes antidepressants, as well as interpersonal or cognitive-behavioral therapy.

However, there are ways in which people themselves can prevent grief from turning into depression.

Live the reality, accept the reality of loss and realize that even in grief does not cease to be part of everyday life. Chat with family and friends more often.

Go the other way. Try to adapt to a new reality by doing things differently. For example, start a new hobby for yourself, or give up those activities that are painful reminders of your loved one. Move forward - force yourself to move, communicate and participate in pleasant events.

Regular physical activity is necessary: \u200b\u200bdo physical exercises for at least 30 minutes every day, learn how to relieve stress by deep breathing or meditation, sleep at least 7-9 hours a day.

Proper diet: make sure your diet is healthy. Stop destroying yourself - give up alcohol, sleeping pills and caffeine.

The death of the one you loved and whom you cared for is always very painful. You can experience all kinds of negative emotions, including heartache and sadness. This is a perfectly normal reaction to such a significant loss. Know that there is no right or wrong way to get rid of depression caused by the death of a loved one, but there are effective ways to deal with pain in order to move on through life.

All information presented on this site is for reference only and is not a call to action. If you find any symptoms you should immediately consult a doctor. Do not self-medicate or determine the diagnosis.

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