Often children do not want to do homework, and parents have to force them using completely non-pedagogical methods. To avoid conflict in this situation, you must first determine the reason for the reluctance to work. Knowing the reason, it will not be difficult to determine the right motivation.

Causes and their elimination

Children most often do not show much desire to do homework when:

• Tired.
• We weren’t able to fully master the material, so we’re not sure that we can cope.
• The task is not interesting to them, and they see no point in completing it.
• We are used to doing homework together with our parents.
• They are lazy: pathological laziness is very rare, so you should not make such a diagnosis if the child has at least been doing something with passion for quite a long time.
  Having identified the interfering factor, we begin to eliminate it.

Fatigue

At school, children engage in mental work for a long time - at least three hours with a teaching load of 4 lessons per week (high school students “work” even longer), and if they also engage in extracurricular activities, then even more. Therefore, after classes they should rest. Having recovered physically and intellectually, children will learn the material better and faster and take notes more accurately.

It is advisable to allocate a certain amount of time to complete tasks. Ideally, from 3 to 6 pm, as the brain functions better at this time. You should tackle the most difficult tasks first, leaving the easy ones for last.

Following a work-rest schedule will help reduce fatigue during the day.

note , proper nutrition, moderate physical activity (sports), good sleep will help prevent fatigue and avoid stressful conditions. Strict adherence to routine moments contributes to the development of discipline and independence.

Uncertainty

In modern textbooks there are usually no explanations for the wording of the text: it is assumed that the children will independently come to some conclusion during the lesson. If the student does not understand, then it will be very difficult for him to figure it out on his own. Negative statements from parents and teachers about wrong actions also contribute to the development of self-doubt in one’s own success.

What to do in this case:

• Praise more often (but do not praise!) - there is always a reason for which you can praise the child.
• Suggest that you first try to complete the task yourself in a draft , and if he can’t cope, help (the main thing is that the child knows that he will receive help if necessary).
• Criticize less (ideally, avoid such statements altogether).
• Offer to study with a tutor , if it is not possible to give the child the necessary knowledge (for example, in a foreign language).

Don't solve difficult tasks for your children. . They still won’t understand how to solve them, but they will conclude that their parents will be able to do any task for them. As a result, adults do homework even for high school students!

No interest

The child is not interested in doing homework when he does not realize its necessity. In this case, what role does homework play in the educational process?

You shouldn’t resort to threats: “If you don’t do your homework, they’ll give you a bad mark!” Such statements will be effective only for a younger student (especially if the family cultivates love and respect for good grades). As they grow older, the value of a grade decreases, then parents change their motivation, offering schoolchildren to “get paid.” From the point of view of psychologists, such behavior is fundamentally wrong. Instead of warmth and support, parents offer their children financial (or material) rewards, which can lead to a conflict situation.

It would be more correct encourage good studies, for example, by going to the cinema or going out of town. But make this not a condition (“You will study well...”), but a consequence (“You finished the quarter well, therefore...”).

No independence

Disorganized children do not like to complete tasks at home. It is difficult for them to force themselves to do anything, to organize their leisure time. To avoid a scandal when doing homework, you should gradually teach them to be independent.

Here it is important to explain to the student that doing homework is his responsibility, and parents will not always be able to help, so he must do it himself.

It is advisable to show in practice the consequences of his decisions:

• Completed the task quickly – there is more free time left that can be spent on the game.
• Made it myself - During this time, the parents managed to cook a delicious dish or repair a broken bicycle.
• Didn't want to do it on time – spends his free time on this.
• Parents had to supervise by standing nearby - the student will do instead of them what they did not have time to do (wash the dishes, tidy up the room).

Not immediately, but gradually the child will understand that it is better to do homework immediately and independently.

What should you pay attention to?

The following situations slow down homework:

• Wrong example

It is possible to demand organization from children only if the parents themselves are organized. If a mother constantly puts off some things until later, then the children will behave the same way.

• Heavy loads

Sometimes adults shift some responsibilities onto children (“When you’ve done your homework, wash the dishes!”), forgetting about their right to rest. Of course, the student will put off this unpleasant moment until the last moment.

• Impatience and criticism

Constantly urging a child on, humiliating their dignity with constant criticism (“Like a turtle!”, “It’s so simple, how can you not understand!”), it is impossible to achieve good results. With age, the student will stop doing anything at all (“I’m stupid!”, “I still don’t understand!”).

When monitoring homework completion, you should adhere to the following rules: “Everyone makes mistakes, not everyone can find and correct mistakes.”

You should not pay much attention to the marks received, because their value gradually decreases. It is better to motivate by the fact that homework, as well as learning in general, contributes to self-development and self-improvement .

What tricks do parents go to in order to force their child to do what he needs, and not what he wants! Promises, threats, gifts or punishments - these methods are familiar to everyone, but everyone also knows that sooner or later all this stops working, and even a ton of chocolates cannot lure a child to kindergarten or hospital. How can you force a child to do something against his will?

In fact, the question was posed incorrectly from the start. A child cannot be forced! Even an adult does not want to do an extremely important and useful task if he is forced. Therefore, today the Land of Advice does not offer you “10 ways to make a child obey.” Today we will study properly motivate your child.

First, let's look at reasons for children's disobedience. You've probably noticed that a child doesn't want to do something for a reason. Indeed, often children's disobedience is just ordinary whims, but reluctance to eat porridge can also be caused by decreased appetite, and tantrums can be caused by the child's inability to cope with his emotions.

Let's consider several typical situations.

Situation one: “I don’t want porridge!” This situation has already been discussed in detail by the Land of Soviets in the article “If a child is naughty at lunch.” Indeed, real battles can unfold during breakfast, lunch and dinner. The mother dances around the baby: “A spoon for dad, a spoon for mom...”, the child stubbornly shakes his head and throws the spoon...

How to awaken your baby's appetite? It is useless to explain to a preschool child why he needs to eat tasteless, insipid carrots, and not sweet cakes or tasty chips. Therefore, it is better that these products are not even in the house - there is no benefit from them.

You can interest your child in appetizing food appearance cooked dish, an interesting fairy tale. Remember how in the Soviet film the hero of Yevgeny Leonov suggested that his charges go to space trip? Why don't you use the good old trick?

Situation two: “I don’t want to sleep!” You can learn more about this situation from the article “If the baby refuses to sleep?” . An equally popular battlefield is the bed. The parents gently say to the baby: “Bay-bye, go to sleep baby...”, and he kicks and screams in a voice that is not his own. Sound familiar? Then try not to force the child to sleep, but to help him want to fall asleep himself.

For example, you can read a calm story to your child at night, sing a lullaby. An evening bath will also help prepare your baby for bed. The anticipation of some interesting event helps children fall asleep faster. You can tell your baby that the faster he falls asleep, the faster tomorrow will come and he will meet friends in kindergarten, play and have fun.

Of course, evening active games and excessive excitement of the child do not contribute to a peaceful bedtime.

Situation three: “I won’t go to kindergarten!” Often parents simply fall into despair: it’s high time to go to work, but the baby almost throws hysterics and flatly refuses to go to kindergarten. If a child has just entered kindergarten, then, of course, he needs adaptation period and you can’t scold him for the fact that he is not yet used to doing without his mother.

Timely preparation of the child for kindergarten can help in such a situation. The child should be taught in advance to serve himself, communicate with other children, and obey his elders.

A child may refuse to go to kindergarten because he simply doesn’t like it there. It is advisable to try to find out from the child what is causing his anxiety. You can also consult with the kindergarten teacher to find out how the child behaves there. It often happens that a child who is capricious and overly playful at home behaves quietly and modestly in kindergarten.

How to interest a child? In kindergarten, your child can find a lot of exciting activities for himself. So tell him how interesting it will be to play with toys, with other children, and run around outside.

In the article “How to help a child get comfortable in kindergarten?” The Country of Councils examines in detail the issues of child adaptation in a preschool institution.

There are still many situations similar to those described., after all, every child at least once refused not only to eat or sleep, but also to dress, wash, put away toys, and simply obey. In response to parental entreaties, the child may throw a tantrum or even show aggression.

Raising a child is a huge job that requires patience, care and, of course, love from parents. Don’t try to force your child to do something against his will, try to find the “key” to his behavior - and you can succeed!

In this article we will figure out why a child does not want to study, and also give current councils, how to ignite this desire in him and direct his actions in the right direction of life.
- “While the child was doing homework, all the neighbors learned the multiplication table, and the dog can retell the story.” - an anecdote that, after reading, all the parents whose children bear the proud title of “Schoolboy” will smile.

Methods and methods for doing homework with your beloved children acquire particular relevance on the day when the last leaf is torn from the calendar, signaling the end of summer. Only a week will pass and teachers and psychologists will be bombarded with questions:
- “Why doesn’t my child want to do his homework”;
- “How to get your child to do his homework.”
Increasingly, screams, threats and hints of the use of physical force will be heard in the apartment.

Answer the question “Why doesn’t the child want to study?”

2. Negative label. A caustic remark and constant emphasis on a child’s laziness will make him a lazy person. Here, more than ever, the phrase is appropriate: “As you name the ship, so it will sail!”

3. Another reason lies in the parental mistake, which is comprehensive guardianship. Wanting to give a child everything that was not available in our childhood, the newest toys, computers, tablets and consoles are bought en masse. As a result of using various computer games, children make the erroneous conclusion that the world is built without social skills and physical effort.

4. Boring! Almost half of the cases of children’s unwillingness to do homework fit into one word. Many people enjoy challenging tasks and real brainstorming, but they may also be reluctant to take on work if it is too simple and uninteresting for them.

And...

5. The child is afraid that he will not be able to cope with the task assigned to him.

6. Some guys don’t want to do homework on certain subjects, because they are incomprehensible and difficult for them.

7. Paradoxically, sometimes it is adults who are to blame for the fact that a child refuses to do his homework.

Homework is given to the child so that he once again repeats the material covered at school and understands it completely. It is when doing homework that a child has a greater right to make mistakes than when doing tests. Therefore, you should not treat them as an indicator of academic performance!

How to get children to learn their lessons. The whip method and...

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan

Steps

1. Think about the benefits of completing homework. If you believe that homework is a waste of time, then it will be even more difficult for you to force your children to do it. There are several reasons why we were given homework:

• Homework reinforces the knowledge acquired during lessons. Sometimes, knowledge cannot be consolidated immediately, without proper practice, therefore, the lesson time may not always be enough for a normal understanding of the subject; the child may need more time. This is especially true for mathematics and the exact sciences.
• Sometimes, through homework, children can independently study new material, which they did not have time to go through at school, again, due to lack of time. This is the so-called “cognitive” moment of homework.
• Homework fosters self-discipline, teaches the ability to manage time, organizes, develops concentration, as well as a sense of responsibility. Self-discipline is a very important characteristic that can only be acquired through work.

1. 2. Accept the fact that most children don't like to do their homework. With so much to do around you, especially in this digital age, it can be hard to concentrate on your homework, so give up. As a parent, mentor, or other person responsible for ensuring that children do their homework, you need to understand that accepting this fact does not mean agreeing with them. It's about understanding and trying to understand, while at the same time setting certain boundaries and maintaining expectations that they will do so.

   3. Be a helper, not a leader. You can cajole, beg, shout, threaten, bribe and simply jump on the spot until you are blue in the face, but none of these methods will affect the child as needed. Of course, they will react to your abrupt behavior, to you standing behind them until they start working, but this is not the way to do homework, and who will have that much time to monitor the progress of work when there is still so much around business? Instead, try to simplify the homework process as much as possible:

   • Do workplace comfortable, quiet and distraction-free so children can get to work in peace. Ideally, there will be no noise from passers-by or cars, there will be no unnecessary electronic devices around, and there will be no other children playing around.
   • Make sure your child has everything they need within reach - whether it's a book, or a computer, a calculator, or a phone with a calculator, make sure they have everything necessary materials, if he is working on some project, so as not to hear excuses like “I don’t have what I need.” Sit down with them for a while to make sure they have everything they need, including any useful websites they might need or additional reference books.
   • Encourage your child to tell you how his homework is going or interesting facts which he recognizes.

2. 4. Discuss homework with your children directly and calmly. At the beginning of each quarter, or semester, sit down and talk with your child about how he plans to do his homework in the coming months. This way, you set unspoken rules that you can remind if the child is lazy, or praise when the children complete all the work.

   • Give children a choice. Instead of sitting your child down to do homework, have a family conversation to discuss when it's best for him to do it. Give kids a chance to feel like they chose when they do their homework - before lunch, after lunch, or half before and half after. The only condition that can be set is not to do homework right before bed - choose a time by which all homework must be completed; this way you can offer them something in return before bed, such as reading interesting story, or play any games. You can also help them by serving dinner regularly at the same time.
   • Find out if there are any subjects that are challenging your children. Ask them if they need more help in these subjects (you, an older brother, or a teacher, for example). Sometimes, homework is not completed simply because they cannot understand the subject either at home or in class.
   • Help your child figure out which types of homework are difficult and which are easy. If your child works on difficult tasks first, he will put more effort into completing them. Simpler material will go faster once fatigue begins to set in.
   • Agree on a time when the child will not do homework, such as the weekend, or Friday night, etc. Let them decide how they will spend this free time.

3. 5. Use rewards for extra motivation. Praise for Good work, as well as ignoring or dismissing poor performance can help your children perform better and without unnecessary stress, instead of worrying negative sides homework.

   • Be careful with rewards for tasks well completed. The main goal here is to rely on your own motivation (which will cause satisfaction from the work done) rather than the pursuit of material rewards. Material rewards greatly demotivate a child, because he will do homework not in order to get a feeling of accomplishment or gain new knowledge, but in order to play. new game on his console, or get some new thing. Occasional material rewards for a job well done on a project can play a role, but permanent rewards are best avoided.
   • Reward your child for completing homework by interesting games, or toys, and don’t forget to tell him how organized and responsible he is. It is very important to name the reason why you are so proud of your child so that he knows it himself. The idea is to catch them doing something good and tell them about it.
   • Ignore poor performance. When your children don't achieve their goal, don't point it out to them. Just remind them that you agreed with them about doing their homework, express your frustration and hope that the situation will change the next day.
   • Keep the real rewards simple, like a walk in the park, or pizza at home, playing the game you lose most often, or a trip to the zoo. This way, you spend more time with your child, the child is interested in doing homework, and you all get a lot of pleasure.

4. 6. Shift the responsibility from you to your child. This can be difficult, especially if you feel responsible for completing homework, however, it is important that your child learns to take responsibility for his actions and homework, therefore, all consequences should remain with him, not you. Don’t place the burden of responsibility for your child’s unwillingness to do homework on your shoulders; You have provided him with a place and all the necessary materials, set a time for homework, so this will be a lesson for your child and teach him responsibility. After failing homework several times and dealing with the consequences, the child will understand that it is his own responsibility to this issue. This doesn't mean you should be completely indifferent. This means that you should try to instill in your child a sense of responsibility for his actions.

   7. Let children deal with the consequences of not doing homework. Teachers are not very happy when their students don't do their homework. If your child categorically refuses to do homework, then wait and he will see for himself what the teacher will do the next day. He will most likely start doing assignments after this!

   • Of course, if your child has any disabilities, you will have to make some changes to your approach. But don't neglect the help of people who are trained to work with children who have disabilities; The best time to ask for help is when you don't know what to do next.

5. 8. Forget about constantly helping your kids with their homework. If your child must do the work independently, leave him alone. If you help your child too much, homework will lose its positive effect. Homework is a great way to develop independence in learning things throughout your life.

   9. Be interested, but don't bother your child all the time. Nobody likes people who constantly pester you, and neither do children. Try to express interest in them doing their homework, but don't pry into every task they do.

   • Don't ask for exact details about everything the child did as soon as he left the room. Give him a little rest.
   • Don't dig deeper than necessary. If your child says, “We were given math homework,” ask, “What topic?” instead of, “How many pages, and what are the equations?” I’d like to see how you do it.”
   • Stop monitoring your homework. Just have faith in your child, otherwise you will end up checking everything he does, start pissing him off and end up with him sitting on your neck and thinking that this is the way it should be - when parents do the work for him.

6. 10. Do your homework at the same time as your younger brother/sister. To encourage your younger child to do his homework, simply set him a good example and sit down to do your homework yourself, so that he understands that you are also responsible for completing your work. Show your child that what he is doing now can be connected to some things in life. adult life. If your child reads, read too. If your child does math, start recalculating the family budget.

7. 11. Find what motivates your child. Recent studies have found that children school age Children who are motivated to find a high-paying job that requires a higher education complete their homework much more often than unmotivated children who are willing to work wherever they are hired.

   • If your child wants to start a career that will require... higher education, you can explain to your child that doing homework is a great investment in his future.
   • Even if your child is not that motivated, try to explain to him that by doing his homework, many more doors will be opened for him in the future. Of course, such arguments are only suitable for children in older grades who are already beginning to look into the future.

8. 12. Come up with a different name for your homework. The word “work” hurts the ears of every child. It’s bad when a child associates cleaning a room with this word, or the consequences of a broken vase on the floor, as well as homework itself. Try to get around this word at home, and it doesn't matter that in school they call it homework, you can call it "home study", or "brain workout", or just "study". Either way, replace it with a word related to learning and growth rather than work.

   • Have a positive attitude towards homework. Speak well of her, and periodically try to remind her how she can help the child in the future. For example, you can tell your daughter who wants to become an actress that she won't be able to learn the text unless she can read correctly. The attitude with which you talk about homework will rub off on your child.

9. 13. Turn homework into a game. Most often, children don't do homework simply because it's boring. Why not add a gaming moment?

   • Turn math problems into candy problems or money problems. If it's about candy, tell him that if he finds the correct answer, he will receive exactly that amount of candy as soon as he completes the tasks. Or you can play for money board game, or any bonus points that the child can exchange for rewards.
   • You can change difficult words into fun ones to make it easier. Or, you can make cards with difficult words so that the child remembers them faster.

• Encourage precision and accuracy. If children do their homework sloppily, try to catch them and encourage them to try to do their homework well.
• Limit phone conversations during homework. Keep your phone handy and be prepared to tell friends that your child is busy and will call them back later. If your child is constantly texting, ask him to put his phone away where he can see it, and return it to him once he's done with his work.
• Give him hints, or if he is solving math problems, explain the solution to him using an example of a similar problem. If you simply give answers, your child will not learn anything. If you help your child too much, he will think that every time he doesn’t succeed, he will be helped.
• Stay up to date. Talk to your child's teacher. Make sure you know what the homework is and what the class rules are.
• If the teacher requires you to help your child with homework, do it. Contact your teacher. This way you will show your child that school and home work as a team. Follow the instructions your teacher gives you.
• Be decisive. You will be doing your child a disservice if you create a schedule one day and then simply forget about it the next. You will pass the test. Be prepared and simply say “We agreed that you would do this now - so we will do so. I can’t wait to beat you at that computer game at 7pm.”

Warnings

• Be careful: rewarding and praising your child for completing homework is not the same as material rewards for which the child will do the work. Never reward your child financially for completing a task, otherwise he will always do it just for the sake of the reward.
• Don't try to motivate them through threats and intimidation. You may come to the point where they will obey you in everything, but their trust in you will be completely destroyed.
• Don't interfere. Be prepared to answer any questions your children have about assignments, but try not to control their every step and every task they complete, judging them for mistakes.
• Be careful: do not put pressure on your child if he has problems doing his homework. By calling a child stupid for any mistake, you only stroke your pride and push them away from doing their job. If it becomes even more difficult for them to do their homework, they simply will not do it. In this way, you will simply destroy their trust in you.
• Turn off the TV if your child can hear it. If you have other family members who often watch TV, simply move it to a place where the child will not hear it.
• Observe your child - does he feel angry when something doesn't work out? Give your child a rest and collect his thoughts if something doesn’t work out for him.
• Talk to your children's teacher if you think they are being given too much homework. IN primary school a time ten times longer than the class number in which he is studying should be normal: more than 90 minutes for students high school, or more than two hours for students in grades 10-11 is already too much.

What you will need

• A suitable place to do homework, preferably your child's own place;
• Necessary sources of information;
• Good lighting and a comfortable chair;
• Healthy snacks (optional) – carrots or cereal with warm milk won’t hurt after finishing your homework.

Recommendations from an educational psychologist to parents whose children refuse to do homework

Having entered the 1st grade, children are faced with a heavy load not only at school, but also at home, thanks to numerous and complex homework. Some children are so tired that they prefer to ignore the teacher’s assignments or not complete them completely. This inevitably leads to the child slipping into poor grades and falling behind the program. But homework can be done without special effort, tears, lies and punishments. You just need to find the right approach to the child.

1. The child must do his homework himself. The whole point of these tasks is for the child to cope with them independently and deal with difficult moments. If parents teach a student that tasks of any complexity are done together, then he will not have to make enough effort to properly understand the subject.
2. Because children, due to their age and character traits, may miss something said by the teacher. This leads to the fact that preparing lessons takes too much time, and homework is completed with errors. This can happen to anyone, but you shouldn’t reproach your child for it by reminding him of past failures over and over again.
3. Do not distract your child while doing homework. Often parents themselves prevent their children from preparing their homework. Do not give your child parallel tasks, clearly set priorities - first lessons, then everything else. If your child is constantly distracted by requests for help around the house, then there will not be much time left for homework.
4. Do not instill fear in your child before preparing homework. Often parents themselves discourage their child from studying. IN educational purposes Parents often emphasize that there are so many homework assignments, they are so difficult that they cannot be completed in an hour or two. The child gets upset and is in no hurry to take on a task that, in his opinion, cannot be completed on time. On the contrary, let your child understand that completing homework, although it requires perseverance and time, is not at all impossible.
5. Don't evaluate your child based on lessons alone. Many parents reduce all their communication with their child and all requirements for him only to homework. If you do your homework, we love you; if you don’t, you will be punished. This makes the child believe that his parents only value grades and not him.
6. Help your child distribute work. Teach your child to alternate between difficult and easy tasks. For example, learning a short poem is easier than solving a complex problem, especially if the child is not very strong in mathematics. Let the work begin with less complex tasks, then it will be completed much faster and with pleasure.
7. Don't control your child in everything. Parents have every right check how well and correctly the lessons are done. But, at the same time, the child must learn to cope with tasks on his own. Therefore, you cannot stand over your soul while the child does his homework. You can intervene only when the child himself asks for help.
8. Correctly work on your child’s mistakes. When your child shows you homework assignments, do not point out the mistakes he has made. Just let them know that they exist, and let the child find and correct them himself.
9. Try to encourage your child correctly. Parents often punish their children for unfinished homework, but they completely forget that homework done honestly should be rewarded. Sometimes it’s just a kind word, sometimes it’s something more meaningful - it all depends on the traditions of your family. It is only important not to try to bribe the child’s desire to learn.

Children are told a lot about how to do homework at school; parents also have their own ideas about this, but not everyone thinks that the child has the right to decide what and how to teach him. Some children don't need to endlessly cram textbook chapters to remember the material, while others have to spend a little more time preparing their lessons.

Take into account the characteristics of your child and do not forget that how much your child will like it depends on your attitude towards his studies.

In an ideal world, parents are always patient educators, and children are obedient and always do right choice. But we don't live in a perfect world, so parents need a number of strategies to maintain our mental health when patience is at a premium.

Manipulating children is bad, but there are a number of situations in which you need to force a child to do what you want him to do.

Here are some strategies to help you achieve your goal:

1. Offer a bad choice

My mother, a retired pediatrician, used to ask me or my siblings when we were little if we wanted to get a belt. This is one of those tricks of creating a false choice. Although it quickly loses its effectiveness, and besides, older or smarter children, of course, will immediately understand what the catch is, but in some cases (for example, you need to choose between a belt and medicine), children will choose the lesser of two evils.

As an alternative to this technique, you can offer two equivalent choices. For example: “We need to clean up before the party, what do you want to do: wash the dishes or clean the room?” Both of these strategies make the child feel like they are making a choice, even though the options may not be exactly what they would like.

2. Try to disguise what you need as what the child likes.

Parents of not very active eaters sometimes object to the addition of healthy and healthy ingredients to candy, and all the things that children love to eat. Does your child refuse to eat spinach? Prepare it in the form of a cake. (Jessica Seinfeld has a book of "deceptively delicious" recipes.) You could also try letting the kids add their own secret ingredients to make dishes more varied.

Either way, sometimes you don't tell your kids directly what's good for them. It's interesting how creative parents can be when they try to turn daily chores into a game, such as adding an element of fun to the boring daily housework or shopping trip (such as the game scavenger hunt, which means what the certain period time you need to find the maximum number of objects). Add an element of fun and your children will help you.

3. Make them hostage to technology

Do you want a Wi-Fi password?

1. Make your bed
2. Vacuumed the first floor

No matter how much time your children spend in front of a TV or computer screen, you can always use it to your advantage. Do what you have to do first, then you'll get Wi-Fi.

4. Praise them and let them win.

Praise at first glance does not seem to be such an effective lever in managing a child’s behavior, but by constantly holding some family competitions (where the child wins and at the same time does what you need), you can inspire the child to do a lot. For example, create a tradition where the first person to get dressed in the morning gets to choose what everyone eats for breakfast, it's somewhat manipulative but also fun. (For everyone except Mom and Dad, who will have to eat cake and candy every time the child wins).

Like everyone else, children love to succeed, and you can use this to your advantage. Just remind them how well they behaved recently, and they may like the praise and want to earn it again.

5. Control their weaknesses and fears

Manipulation is knowing where the tickles are and using it to your advantage. Being a parent is the same thing, only you have to use it to make it better for both yourself and your child. For example, if you know what TV show your child loves, you can tell him that he can only watch it if he gets up early. It still amazes me how much I can get out of my daughter (brush her teeth, give a report, finally go to bed).

For advanced manipulation, you can also use those techniques that work on adults. For example, making a person feel guilty or scaring them to death. However, do not get carried away with such techniques, after all, these are still children (and in many ways they can even give their parents a head start), and the easiest thing is to relax and just watch how your children grow up.

When a small puppy or cat shits on the carpet, they poke him with his muzzle in the poop so that he knows that doing so is bad. However, doing the same with a child is not an option. Therefore, parents sit the baby in front of them and begin to lecture him on morality. But this means nothing to the child. After listening to you carefully, he will relieve himself again and again where it overtakes him. It is much better to try to associate the potty in the child’s imagination with something pleasant, for example, cartoons. That is, like this: I walked past the potty - there will be no cartoons, sat down on the potty on my own - I got a tablet with Teletubbies on.

Use your imagination

Few children will agree to voluntarily chew unleavened broccoli and carrots. But if you tell the child that broccoli is such small trees, and the child himself is like a giant, devouring them for his own pleasure, then things will go as they should. We can say about carrots that with its help you can learn to see in the dark. Yes, this is a vile deception, but it’s not really that vile, because carrots are good for the eyes. One way or another, the main thing is that the child gnaws it as often as possible.

Make a child laugh

If your baby gets hysterical, nothing can stop him. It will be a louder sound than a police car siren. But there is still one way to stop children’s moaning - you need to try to make the child laugh. Children's attention switches to one or two. Just now the baby was screaming as if his leg had been cut off, but once you make him laugh, the storm is over. How exactly to make your child laugh is up to you to decide, because everyone has their own sense of humor. Sometimes it will be enough to show a rhythmically bent index finger, like: “Look, what a worm!” And in another, you will have to act out a whole scene with hilarious grimaces, ridiculous acrobatic stunts, etc.

Bewitch the child

When the child has calmed down, appears new problem- how to put him to sleep. Some parents don’t know how to teach their baby to follow a routine and simply wait for him to fall asleep on his own. In this case, you can try the trick that Australian Nathan Dylo demonstrated on his YouTube channel - one child, one napkin, one minute of magic and eleven million views...

Give bribes

A child does not always understand why toys scattered around the room upset his mother, no matter how much she tells him about it. But if you give your child something tasty for putting the toys in a special box, the baby will quickly figure out what’s what, and perfect order will reign in his room.

Encourage kindness

Young children are not good at understanding what is bad and what is good. Therefore, every time a child - even in the most insignificant situation - does a good deed, you need to specifically praise him for the right choice.

Don't make fake threats

Let's say you told your child not to draw on the walls, otherwise you will take away all his pencils and markers. But when you see another “rock painting” on the wallpaper, you have not fulfilled your ultimatum - then the child will understand that he can not pay attention to such threats at all, because they do not end in anything bad for him. She said that if you take the pencils, let him sit for a week without pencils.

Look the child in the eyes

There are two big differences: explain something to a child and explain the same thing to him, looking into his eyes. When you look a child in the eyes, he understands that this is a serious matter, and he hangs on his every word. In addition, the ability to look directly into the eyes of your interlocutor during a difficult conversation will be useful to the child more than once throughout his subsequent life.