Not all young women manage to find a chosen one, even despite their strong desire and desperate attempts. If you’re tired of asking yourself the question: “Why don’t I have a boyfriend?”, It’s worth considering, maybe there is a reason in your inner complexes or problems?
Shyness and isolation
Such a trait as modesty really adorns any girl. But sometimes, over time, such a quality can develop into isolation.
Overly modest and shy women are usually prone to digging themselves and usually blame themselves for not having a relationship. However, often they do not even pay attention to the fact that there may be young men nearby who sincerely show sympathy for them.
All this happens solely because it is very difficult for closed people to start communication and find a common language with others, as well as those around them, it is difficult to establish contact with them.
And, since closed ladies do not burn with the desire to open their souls and share feelings, this leads to a misunderstanding of them by men, and, consequently, to alienation and even greater uncertainty of the fair sex in themselves.
What to do in this situation?
Girls who are characterized by isolation and shyness, it is necessary to strive to become more open and sociable. Of course, this does not mean that you should start telling everyone in a row about your secrets and secrets. You just need to learn how to discuss interesting facts from your life with other people, talk about hobbies and share thoughts without fear.
This will remove the psychological barrier that interferes with healthy communication. And young people will have a chance not only to evaluate the appearance of a modest young lady, but also to consider her soul.
Low self-esteem
Young girls especially suffer from a lack of male attention, having got into a situation in which all their friends have already found their lovers. The most acute question arises among high school students, and is usually voiced in the form of statements of a similar plan: "I am 15 years old (or more), and I still have not found a guy!"
Despite the fact that at this age, relationships are often not serious, their absence and belief in their own insolvency leave an indelible mark on the adolescent’s soul in the form of resentment and disappointment.
To change the situation, you need to understand why the girls are losing? Most often, the reason is that they consider themselves inferior and not worthy of male attention.
And while self-confident girlfriends are already starting their first relationship with guys, the fate of girls with low self-esteem is loneliness.
How to increase self-esteem?
Instead of killing yourself about the lack of a romantic relationship and tormenting yourself with the thought: “I have no boyfriend,” try to answer the following questions:
- How long is the relationship with boys at girlfriends?
- How often do girlfriends change guys?
- Do they communicate normally after parting?
- Are they happy with them?
Believe me, if you change your view of the situation, develop confidence in yourself that you will soon meet your only one (not just anyone, but a sincerely interesting and attractive person), and also allow yourself to temporarily switch to achieving other goals (for example, improving academic performance , preparation for entering a university, increasing physical activity), the problem will be solved by itself.
Mismatch of views on life and relationships
The age at which you can tell others: “I am 17!” Is a turning point for many adolescents. Most often, at this time, studies in higher education institutions begin and independent life begins.
Feeling herself in the new status of adulthood, most girls begin to intensely desire a serious relationship and form for themselves an idea of \u200b\u200bwhat their potential guy should be. Moreover, the image of the “handsome prince” usually consists of one’s own, often far-fetched, illusions and the concept of “ordinary female happiness”.
But, unfortunately, among the surrounding male candidates, few fit into female ideals at this age. The reason for this is the immaturity of thoughts regarding the creation of a family and the financial insolvency of young men, which, however, is quite normal for their age.
Also, do not exclude the fact that most young people at this age are not set to create a family, but prioritize sexual relations. And the woman’s psychology regarding intimate relationships is radically different: from a young age, the girl is looking for reliability and stability, and her psyche is often not yet ready for sexual relations.
What to do in this case?
If the relationship does not work out at 17, psychologists advise young women not to be upset, but simply to let go of this situation and wait a bit. Very little time will pass and most of the problems in the relationship will disappear on their own, since closer to the age of 18-20, the views on life in men and women usually begin to coincide.
In the meantime, it is better to concentrate on studying, start visiting interesting places, get carried away by any hobby - and who knows, maybe a suitable candidate will appear even ahead of schedule?
Idealization of men
As we noted earlier, every girl has an imaginary ideal of a man, and quite often, no matter how trite it may sound, he is a “prince on a white horse”. However, in reality such guys do not exist or there are very few of them. As a result, there are often cases when a clever, beautiful, energetic girl with a great sense of humor does not have a man.
How to stop looking for the ideal?
The way out of this situation may be as follows - the young lady must understand and accept that completely perfect people do not exist, and the “prince” in a man does not wake up immediately, but only when a young lady loving and appreciating appears nearby.
So, it will be wiser to stop looking for the ideal, and pay attention to the "mere mortals." Perhaps, the “prince” is hiding among them, all the best qualities of which can be seen only by talking to him in private.
Repulsive appearance and manners
In recent years, adolescents have begun to spread the belief that almost everything is decided by appearance. However, this is not always the case. For example, if a girl who is pretty on her face does not comply with the standards of decency, behaves aggressively, humiliates everyone around her, and if she is too vulgar or too sloppy dressed, no matter how much she says: “But I'm beautiful and I can do anything!”, - The obvious facts will continue to push the guys away from her.
Of course, young people can appreciate her appearance, but hardly anyone wants to connect her life with her. And no matter how sad it is, men often seek to use these girls to spend one night with them.
How to proceed?
Young ladies with a similar character and behavior and / or appearance, including those faced with the indifference of the opposite sex, should think about the question: “What to do?” As soon as possible. The answer is simple: urgently pay attention to your style, manners and actions, and proceed with their correction.
Other reasons
Why else can there be problems in communicating with the opposite sex, and how to avoid them will tell the following video:
Having got rid of psychological complexes and stereotypes, as well as having adjusted your manners and appearance for the better, you will become more open and attractive to the stronger sex. So, you can find your personal happiness much faster.
If you wondered " why don't i have a girlfriend?", Then you are already going in the right direction. To achieve something in life, you need to be able to analyze the current situation and set goals correctly. When you understand why you have not developed a relationship with a beautiful lady, the path to the goal will be shorter.
Many guys are fooling themselves with what is happening in their lives. For example, shyness interferes with a person, and to get acquainted. Because of his powerlessness, he comes up with another excuse. That, they say, now the girls went some wrong, think too much of themselves, are too arrogant, they only need money and so on. In such a situation, solving the problem is even more difficult.
Therefore, do not be fooled. Do not blame other people and circumstances. This is the position of a weak person. The position of the strong is this: I am the master of my life. And for what is happening in it, I bear my own responsibility. I create the circumstances myself.
So there are several reasons for this.
Why do not you have a girlfriend
Reason 1
Complexes. You consider yourself unworthy of all the girls you liked. Accordingly, the girls who do not care about you also remain overboard. It turns out a vicious circle that can be broken, realizing this situation. And take action.
Decision:
To lower the importance of attractive girls for you, it is worth taking a close look. That is, at times to increase communication with this category of women. You go out several times a week, get to know and chat with the girls you like. You take their phone number and spend a date. After some time, communication with pretty girls will become a familiar thing for you, and you will be happy to find that you no longer take a steam bath on the above issue.
If you experience insurmountable difficulties in communicating with the female sex, then you should seek professional help from a therapist. In our society, such cases are biased, and in vain. Because in advanced cases this is a good way out.
Reason 2
You do not live in the present moment, but expect the future.
It seems to you that to get to know a cool girl, you do not earn enough money, you do not have such a cool car, you have not bought an apartment and the like. And as soon as you have it all, the lady of your heart will immediately appear.
Full bullshit.
Example: a guy lived in the world. An average guy like that with beautiful girls. But he didn’t have a car. And he is still thinking: here I’ll buy a new Lada, and affairs with the female sex will immediately go up. He bought a car, finally. Nothing changed. Then he thought: Lada - a slop car. Need Merce. Maybe not a new one, but the four-year E-Class is also a cool thing. He began to collect on a Mercedes. I bought it. And again, no progress with the girls. And then he realized that he simply prosral 5 years of his life, setting false goals for himself.
Remember this.
Decision:
Set yourself direct goals, not indirect ones. Ask yourself: what do I need to get started. The answer is, as you already understood, not buying a car or anything else. And simple things, but at the same time so difficult: tear off your ass from the couch, go outside or to a club, and start chatting with unfamiliar girls.
Reason 3
You really don't need a girl on this stretch of life.
Perhaps you are developing your business, and so busy that the next year is like an army for you: there is no time for entertainment. And this is correct in this context. If you don’t get distracted, then in a year things will go uphill, the business will go partially to autopilot, and you will already have some time for personal life.
Or are you very passionate about some topic. You are a physicist, and work around the clock on a new theory or law. And you are exclusively interested in this topic.
Decision:
Actually, everything is clear here. You voluntarily give up personal life in the name of something for a certain period of time. As a rule, such a period ends sooner or later, and you yourself will realize that you are ready for something new in terms of girls or new relationships.
Conclusions - why a guy doesn’t have a girl
To make you have a girl, clearly understand the reason for her absence. Then think about which one you would like to meet a lady with. Describe in detail her appearance, character, behavior. What would suit you with her. It’s better to write it all down on paper. Then you will see the effectiveness of this method.
Then is the time for action. If you do nothing in this direction, then there will be no result. Do everything so that you can get to know each other. For this, you do not need a car or money. It's all in your head. Moreover, there is a huge plus in this. That girl with whom you will begin to communicate will love you not for your Mercedes, but for the fact that you are just you. Act! Good luck!
Very relevant for modern people. We all try to succeed, often in several areas of life at once. We are leading an interesting or very rich spiritual life, but here comes the moment, and you understand that everything is in pairs, but somehow it did not work out for you. And then you are surprised in half with embarrassment - why do not I have a girlfriend, am I good? Let's try to understand the problem.
Do surrounding young ladies have chances?
If you are sure that you have no problems with character and behavior, try to rationally evaluate your own lifestyle. How often do you go to places where you can meet and chat with women of the opposite sex? Or do you spend most of your free time exclusively on “male” hobbies and you just have no time to get to know each other? Sometimes the answer to the question "Why do not I have a girlfriend?" banal: you have no time and nowhere to meet and communicate. The Internet can help out in such situations. Or make yourself a rule: at least once a week, get out to discos, in a cafe or somewhere else where you can meet a life partner. There are also situations when a young man has too high demands. And he simply does not notice the ugly, in his opinion, girls or not smart enough. Remember, has someone paid special attention to you lately? If you reject one lady after another, do not be surprised that, having noticed this tendency, girls will soon cease to show initiative in relation to you.
Is there something wrong with me?
“If I don’t have a girlfriend for a long time, maybe something is wrong with me?” Rational thought. The most common mistake of modern guys is the inability to communicate and arouse interest in the opposite sex. Someone is lost and begins to carry complete nonsense, while others, on the contrary, want to seem "brutal" and push it away. The most important thing is to stay naturally and at ease, to be an interesting conversationalist. Follow fashion trends, learn to maintain a conversation on various topics. And then you do not have to wonder: “Why do not I have a girlfriend?”
Loneliness - time for development
Most modern educated and reasonably smart girls are afraid of those guys who start talking about relationships from the first minutes of communication. Some value their freedom, others, albeit suffer from loneliness, but simply do not believe in any promises immediately after meeting. During the first meetings, a statement of my status is enough - yes, I don’t have a girlfriend. But do not tell a new friend about how much you want to find her. Try to communicate more and don’t react to every girl who doesn’t mind going somewhere together or talking as a potential second half. Let the relationship develop naturally, because you first need to learn so much about each other, find common interests. And perhaps soon some feelings will appear, and she herself will not want to spend her time on anyone but you. Being in an active search, you have enough time to live for your own pleasure, to study and to develop yourself. Let go of your obsessive desire to be paired with someone, and very soon everything will happen by itself, and you will no longer care about the question: “Why do not I have a girlfriend?”
What can I do?
External
Not all genetics were endowed with wide shoulders, high height, muscles and other attributes of a male standard. And although you can’t just change it in your own appearance, it’s worth a while.
First of all - hygiene.
C man, from a short time, it is difficult to stand nearby, not even saying a word about the general message. Therefore, you should take care of the cleanliness of the body, hair and clothes. Hygiene is a manifestation of respect for oneself and for the environment. In men, there may be one more nuance: old, worn clothes. Someone argues as follows: “This suit from the release still looks great! You can get it started. ”
Clothing is not cognac, and, by the same token, it is not better.
If a girl sees that she is more than five years old, she can think like this: if she doesn’t understand it, then she can refit the wardrobe, he doesn’t like to buy a new one. This does not mean that you need to catch each list of outgoing fashion. This is not necessary in order to look decent. It’s just worth remembering that the clothes temporarily lose their appearance and do not exactly make the owner attractive.
The same could be said about the odd habit. Some guys condemn smoking and abuse by alcoholic girls, but they expect them to say goodbye. Anyone who wants to have it next to someone who cares about their health, as well as their surroundings. In addition, the disclaimer of such a testimony indicates the strength of the will - a quality that is respected.
Behavior
Good manners - it is not necessary to pay attention to them immediately after the external view. In the younger class, the boys tug at the brackets of the girls, and in return they beat them with a headband and this is considered a note of attention. From an adult, more maturity is expected. Fastness and tact is a big deal in a modern world, therefore it gives a greater value.
Being polite doesn’t mean being bored. The quickness helps you not to ask the tactless questions, not to dull the necessary compliments, it is small in size, not to be dumb and to avoid other small ones.
Habit to take into account other people's senses will help to avoid flirting - a dangerous facet of active search. If the song is played with each opening match, it does not make it a good lover, who will want to charge it. Such behavior betrays a lack of self-confidence and an indefiniteness of opinion. In addition, most of the girls understand - if the young man does not lose sight of a single girl, it is unlikely that he can be faithful in a more serious relationship.
Although the girls pay special attention to their external appearance, they want them to recognize their identity. There is a relationship - this is, first and foremost, communication. To do this, you need to be able to maintain a conversation, but it doesn’t just know how to tell interesting things, but to listen carefully, that’s interesting. Ask questions, and try to remember what she thinks about it or something else.
All the girls combine one thing: for them, the most attractive in the game is its responsibility and self-sufficiency. The ability to make important decisions and to answer for their results speaks about maturity and causes the girls to open up. In the meantime, a young man, who, being an adult, lives with her at her salary, and cannot be separated after a year of communication, she needs this girl or not, which causes a breakdown.
The result is simple: if the guy does not have girls, she should check herself for a few points:
How serious is it about its future? Is he rude? Doesn’t the reputation of an aggresive and unstable person have? Is it hygienic? Is he responsible for what he is doing?
What else you can take
There are some guys who can say with certainty about themselves: “I am self-sufficient, responsible and attentive. “Why do I have no girls who could answer me?” And that can be true. Despite the large number of representatives of the floor, which is reflected in the life of a man, there is also a lot of room for a little more
It is not necessary to empty hands - such girls are all exactly the same, just need to notice them and be interesting for them. It is worthwhile to pay attention to those with whom you work, or to whom you can contact with help. It is important to have your own interests, and not to have a situation where you had a general occupation that allowed you to enjoy your true love
The ability to play guitar and sing is the weakness of many girls. Statistics show that the names of the guys with the guitar attract more attention - this is a way of remembering. Such a skill can add a slider.
Generosity is yet another quality that makes the guy attractive in the eye of the girls. There is no need for further information, haste about the availability of its supply.
It is important to be able to accept any answer and not to lose the advantage with this. There are situations when a girl wants her to show seriousness of her intentions. If it was given a specific negative answer, to be imposed is not an option. So you can miss the one that is worthy and ready to be around.
