To prevent the child from biting. What to do if a child starts biting in kindergarten: advice from an experienced psychologist. Biting in older children

The baby begins to learn the world "to the teeth". All toys, household items and even mother's fingers will visit the baby's mouth, until he learns in other ways to study the reality around him. But it so happens that the baby does not give up his "bad" habit, even when he goes to kindergarten. How to wean a child from biting in such a situation?

When a nursing baby bites

It is common for babies to taste everything. This does not mean either the baby's excessive anger or his nervous disorders. The most common causes of biting infants under one year old are given below.

Causes of children's bites

Children under one year old bite for a reason. There are many reasons why a crumb tries to taste not only edible things, but also inedible ones.

Teething is one of the most popular causes of child bites under one year of age.
Emotional release. Young children bite when they want to say something to an adult. In other words, in this way they express closeness to their parents, or, conversely, anger and irritation.
Lack of awareness that the bite is painful.
The baby wants to eat and therefore can bite his mother's hands.

Analyze the above reasons. Are you paying enough attention to your baby? Do you always feed on time?

How to wean a child from biting up to a year?

No way! If your baby is teething, then biting movements are the only way to scratch swollen gums.

The only thing you can do in this case is to provide the baby up to a year with special items to relieve discomfort:

a slice of carrot or apple;
nibbler with a slice of frozen banana;
solid steering wheel;
teether toy.

If the toddler bites her mother's breast during feeding, you can purchase special nipple covers or temporarily transfer the baby to bottle feeding. However, the second option is undesirable, as it leads to negative consequences (addiction to the bottle, decreased lactation).

If the child just decided to bite you on the arm or shoulder, immediately strictly say "No!" and give your face a stern expression. The kid should understand that you do not like this behavior.

The most important advice that can be given to mothers of biting babies: be patient! Time will pass, and the teeth will cease to deliver so much discomfort to the baby. Then the habit of taking everything in your mouth and chewing will disappear by itself.

If an "adult" child bites

It is worth noting that the "biting period" does not always go away with the discomfort caused by teething. Often, children begin to bite at 1.5-2 years old and can continue to do this until kindergarten - up to 3-4 years. Of course, now the bites of the crumbs are not as harmless as in infancy. Full mouth of teeth and already quite strong jaws ... You will not envy the one into whom the baby decides to "stick his fangs". Most often, the unfortunate victims are the parents and peers of the child (for example, other children in kindergarten).

Causes of bites after a year

The reasons for this inappropriate behavior of the child lie in his psychological state. Behind the bites, as a rule, lies a child's self-doubt, fear, resentment, anger, a desire to isolate oneself from the world.

Most often, children begin to bite, in whose families there is no harmony between adults, conflicts and scandals are frequent, the father shouts and even raises his hand to the mother. Of course, in all these cases, the consultation of an experienced psychologist is necessary.

However, in such a manifestation of feelings in a baby after a year, relatively harmless factors may also be to blame:

the influence of other children in kindergarten;
easy excitability of the child;
lack of awareness that the bite is painful.

It is simply necessary to wean the toddler from biting in kindergarten! Remember that there is a serious danger behind this seemingly childish and even slightly ridiculous game. There were times when after a child's bite, stitches had to be stitched.

If you notice such a "sin" behind your baby, do not panic, remain calm and try to consistently eliminate the trouble.

Ask the teacher if there are other children in the group with similar behaviors. It is quite possible that your child fell under the bad influence of comrades.
Find out when the baby starts biting, what happens before the event. Also try to remember when you first noticed this bad habit in your baby. Maybe some kind of turning point has happened in the life of the crumbs.
Talk to the child. Delicately and unobtrusively, find out the reason why he "shows his teeth" so often.
Explain that he is doing bad things, that he upsets you, that his behavior is not at all like that of an "adult."
Teach your toddler that a bite is not a way to express your feelings. If he wants to show love - let him kiss and hug, if he is angry - let him say in words that he is not satisfied.

There are also a number of preventive measures you can take.

Enroll the child in the self-defense section, in the pool or tennis - in any place where the baby can move around and release the accumulated energy.
Create a positive psychological atmosphere at home. The kid should not hear the swearing of parents and see quarrels and scandals. Remember that the child copies the behavior of adults and it depends only on you how he will behave in society.
Be gentle and affectionate with your baby. Say how much you love him, kiss and hug the child.

Conclusion

The question of how to wean a child from biting often arises in families where the atmosphere is tense, there are frequent quarrels and there is no mutual understanding between the parents. Try not to swear in the presence of the child, be friendly and loving, and then the problem will disappear by itself.

Tatiana Oberemok
What if the baby bites?

With the problem that baby bites, both educators and parents of children of younger preschool age collide.

Why baby bites? What make? We will try to answer these questions in our article.

The reasons that baby bites, can be varied.

1. Perhaps the parents use a lot of prohibitions or physically punish baby... By using biting baby protests against prohibitions, thus showing his anger.

2. With a lack of attention, the baby biting wants to attract adults to their simplest needs, which they may not notice. With excessive attention from the parents or one of them, child can show aggression towards those people who, in his opinion, take him away "Legal property"- mom.

3. Pinning and playing baby those patterns of behavior that he sees in the family or in the group. If in the family, adults often sort things out from a position of strength, with the help of shouts, then child learns this way of resolving conflicts and throwing out the accumulated anger, anger, all the negativity that adults show to him.

4. Often children bite, thereby expressing his acute disappointment, defending his toy or protecting his (in his mind) territory. This usually happens when children are overly excited, tired, or uncomfortable. Under these conditions, they are more irritable, less controllable and, reacting inadequately, cannot restrain their negative emotions.

5. In children over 2 years old, the reason biting may be associated with muscle weakness and decreased tactile sensitivity (skin sensitivity) in the oral cavity. Therefore, these children need additional and intense stimulation in the mouth area. Often, such children suck on the pacifier for a long time and, as a rule, are late in the development of speech.

6.After 3 years, children usually bite when they feel helpless or when they are scared, such as when they are losing a fight, or when they think that someone else might hurt them. Children over 3 years of age who often bite, it is necessary to show the psychologist. It may turn out that baby problems with self-expression or self-control.

To child to wean from biting, it is necessary to observe in which cases the child bites, if possible, anticipate and prevent painful and conflict situations.

Help your child understand and learn that this aggressive form of communication and expression of emotions is unacceptable. Come up to to kid, sit down so that your faces are on the same level and look him directly in the eyes. In an authoritative tone that does not tolerate objection, tell him approximately following: “This behavior is unacceptable. We are not bite people... It is not right. Please don’t do it more».

Every time an adult sees that child approaches another child or an adult with a definite and clearly visible purpose to bite, as quickly as possible to put his hand to his mouth, thereby creating a physical barrier and preventing a bite. At the same time, it must be said, decisively and strictly, that "" you can't bite! "". On the 10th or 20th time, the decisive reaction of an adult will certainly be perceived by a child, especially if everyone around him will react in the same way, and not flirt with him, touched by his innocence.

It does not follow bite the child back, otherwise he will gain an understanding that this is exactly how he should defend himself, defend his opinion.

Can't shout or beat baby... Anyone biting, baby overwhelmed with anger. He is not able to realize that he does... By punishing, you will demonstrate negative behaviors to him. Ordering to kid by not letting him calm down, you will provoke an even greater outburst of rage in him. Remember, stopped aggressive actions baby, can lead to the fact that not splashed out negative emotions remain in child and sooner or later they will prove themselves, they will find a way out.

Help to kid learn to express your feelings in words. For example, “you are probably angry with Vanya for taking your toy. Use words to show feelings, but don't bite».

It is recommended to play with kid role play... Craft with baby from an old mitten a glove doll- biter... Write a fairy tale about how you behaved nipper and what it led to. Voice and characters who are observers ( "Probably not worth talking to him", "You can't be friends and trust such a wicked person." and so on, and of course the sacrifice. Now let the child will become"Victim", will try different ways to protect against biters(leaving, resentment, reciprocal aggression)... Correct tactics: to teach to articulate the feelings that the characters experience, to translate the conflict into a constructive dialogue.

For children over 3 years old who are still continuing bite, you can apply the time-out technique. Timeouts give time for a child to calm down and teach child to thought, what biting is unacceptable... Timeouts work best with children who know why they are using this technique. To kid you are invited to be alone for five minutes and to think: “You are still small and sometimes you cannot stop. But very soon you will understand how bad it is to be alone. " The purpose of isolation, punishment baby consists in next: he must gradually learn to understand that any act, and even more so, bad, has its consequences. Timeout will not only demonstrate child then that he overflowed your patience or broke an important rule, he will demonstrate, in fact, where the border of what is permissible lies.

The time-out technique does not necessarily imply moving to another room, sometimes it is enough to withdraw baby from the play area in the room, move to the corner, and so on. If you still take your child to another room make sure it contains the minimum amount of irritants that will distract him from thinking about his behavior. Once in a room full of toys or a room with a TV on, child will be distracted and this will negate all your educational activities. The child must be bored, the primary goal is to reflect on your actions and misdeeds.

Accustom baby to affectionate actions during games. For example, show him how to hug a bear, pet a kitten, love a doll. Praise, if the child plays peacefully.

Distract baby who gets annoyed by the game, for example, dance. Or do it something soothing, such as reading or putting together a puzzle.

Children with reduced tactile sensitivity in the oral cavity must be sure to introduce solid foods (carrots, apples, that is, food that must be chewed) into their daily diet.

It is recommended to teach the child to blow bubbles, inflate balloons, play the harmonica or pipe and, as far as adults have imagination, perform exercises to strengthen the muscles of the oral cavity.

Playing with water, sand, clay has a beneficial effect; Include in the daily routine relaxation with pleasant music, as well as sufficient physical activity.

Tatyana Nikolaevna Oberemok, teacher of the Moscow Children's School of Education No. 77 of the city of Irkutsk

A small child may begin to bite at the time of the eruption of the first teeth, during breastfeeding and later, after a year, in situations where he cannot cope with the emotions that overwhelm him. How can mom and dad react to this behavior correctly and how to wean the beloved child from biting?

Mothers, members of the parent community Momshare on Facebook, share their life hacks:

1) hug tight

When he bit, they hugged him tightly and kissed him furiously. Angry, but stopped.

2) Agree

As the teeth appeared, I began to bite, I screamed and took away my chest. My daughter was upset and cried. By the evening I realized that she was biting, because it seemed to her that she had to bite off to eat, she was unable to eat, hungry, crying, I roared in pain ... Then she hugged me and said in words that I shouldn't bite to eat. So we agreed. 7 months old.

3) Find an alternate bite target

My daughter began to bite at about a year and a half. The very first did not start, but if something was taken from her, she bit. I had two life hacks.

Firstly, if she bit someone hard, then I gave this baby a toy with her and asked for forgiveness. I bought it specially (we were in a rest house, and the children were all together) and went to give, explaining that you bit Masha, and now I am going to apologize and give her a toy as a consolation. It was a shame, the daughter really wanted such a toy.

And second: I bought her a rubber toy, said that it was a biting dog, and if she wants to bite, she can bite this toy as much as she wants. In about a month she weaned.

Comments Irina Chesnova, family psychologist, author of books for children and parents:

How to wean a child from biting? Let's start with the reasons that are directly related to the age of the baby.

Babies (starting from 5-6 months) bite adults' cheeks or hands most often because of unpleasant sensations in the mouth - their gums swell and itch, teeth are cut. Everything is simple here: teethers and gels with anesthetic effect save you (consult a pediatrician!).

The baby may also start biting while breastfeeding. Such behavior is nothing more than the very beginning of the separation of the child's “I” from the mother’s “I”. Your reaction: you do not tolerate pain, take your chest for a few seconds and, looking into the baby's eyes, say: “You can't do that, mom is in pain!”. Repeat each time the baby bites on the breast again. This will be for him one of the first lessons of clear cause-and-effect relationships (bitten - mom took the breast) and respect for himself and other people.

After a year, a new period of child development begins, when this world can be understood only by touching it and studying it with all the senses. Hence this passion to climb everywhere, reach for everything, bite, slobber, knock, leave your mark on the wallpaper (I am! I exist!). Starting from this age, babies usually bite when they are overwhelmed with feelings - anger, resentment, protest, disappointment, powerlessness. They need to convey their huge indignation to the "offender" as soon as possible, but how to do this when your vocabulary is scanty and communication skills are almost none? Therefore, pushing, banging, pulling and biting hair is a common thing for them, as they express emotions.

What to do?

1. First of all, to understand in which cases the baby begins to bite, this will help to anticipate situations when teeth are used, and, if possible, prevent them - it is banal to physically stop the child by putting a hand to his mouth.

2. If, nevertheless, the baby turned out to be faster and bit: do not shout, do not scold, do not shame, and even more so do not bite back - this will show that such behavior is permissible. And your task is to teach the child the desired forms of behavior.

3. Go down to the same level with the baby and, looking directly into his eyes, say: "You can't bite, it hurts very much, and you can't hurt anyone." Do not expect that they will hear you the first time (they will not hear!), Be ready to say the same 10, and 100, and 1000 times. Your reaction should be firm and unchanging: you will not let the baby do what is not allowed and hurt - neither to other people, nor to yourself. Until the child stops biting, your task as a close, loving adult is to always be ready to physically stop him, to prevent the bite (still putting your palm to his mouth and talking about the inadmissibility of bites).

4. It is very important to gradually teach the child to separate emotional and behavioral reactions. Look: if a toy is taken away from a kid in a sandbox, he has the right to be indignant, he has the right to be dissatisfied, but to hit the “offender” on the forehead with a spatula or bite him - he has no such right. It will be very correct if you allow your chick to feel what is in his soul, and at the same time explain what is happening to him ("you are angry", "you are sad / painful / scared"), voice his condition ("of course , it's a shame when a toy is taken away ") and teach them to express their feelings in words, while finding a constructive way out of the current situation (" let's ask her back "). Once named, feelings and experiences become understandable, manageable, and less intimidating. The child begins to better understand himself and those around him. And through his mother's assistance and prompts ("let's ask her back"), his social skills are honed and his behavioral repertoire is expanded, which is also only beneficial.

5. For the same - voicing feelings and expanding the behavioral repertoire - it is useful to play plot games (this is done outside a conflict situation, already at home, when everyone is calm and in a good mood). Take dolls, gloves or any other toys and act out scenes from the life of the child: play as someone who did not get something, or who was offended. It is also interesting to give the kid the "role" of the victim of a brawler or biter. So he will be able to better feel the inner world of the one who is being attacked, which will be another step in the development of one of the most important human qualities in him - empathy.

Cover: Tobico Kim

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Why does a child bite and how to wean him from this habit?

When a nursing baby bites

Causes of children's bites

Children under one year old bite for a reason. There are many reasons why a crumb tries to taste not only edible things, but also inedible ones.

Teething is one of the most popular causes of child bites under one year of age.
Emotional release. Young children bite when they want to say something to an adult. In other words, in this way they express closeness to their parents, or, conversely, anger and irritation.
Lack of awareness that the bite is painful.
The baby wants to eat and therefore can bite his mother's hands.

Analyze the above reasons. Are you paying enough attention to your baby? Do you always feed on time?

How to wean a child from biting up to a year?

No way! If your baby is teething, then biting movements are the only way to scratch swollen gums.

The only thing you can do in this case is to provide the baby up to a year with special items to relieve discomfort:

a slice of carrot or apple;
nibbler with a slice of frozen banana;
solid steering wheel;
teether toy.

If the child just decided to bite you on the arm or shoulder, immediately strictly say "No!" and give your face a stern expression. The kid should understand that you do not like this behavior.

If an "adult" child bites

Of course, now the bites of the crumbs are not as harmless as in infancy. Full mouth of teeth and already quite strong jaws ... You will not envy the one into whom the baby decides to "stick his fangs".

Most often, the unfortunate victims are the parents and peers of the child (for example, other children in kindergarten).

Causes of bites after a year

However, in such a manifestation of feelings in a baby after a year, relatively harmless factors may also be to blame:

the influence of other children in kindergarten;
easy excitability of the child;
lack of awareness that the bite is painful.

If you notice such a "sin" behind your baby, do not panic, remain calm and try to consistently eliminate the trouble.

Ask the teacher if there are other children in the group with similar behaviors. It is quite possible that your child fell under the bad influence of comrades.
Find out when the baby starts biting, what happens before the event. Also try to remember when you first noticed this bad habit in your baby. Maybe some kind of turning point has happened in the life of the crumbs.
Talk to the child. Delicately and unobtrusively, find out the reason why he "shows his teeth" so often.
Explain that he is doing bad things, that he upsets you, that his behavior is not at all like that of an "adult."
Teach your toddler that a bite is not a way to express your feelings. If he wants to show love - let him kiss and hug, if he is angry - let him say in words that he is not satisfied.

There are also a number of preventive measures you can take.

Enroll the child in the self-defense section, in the pool or tennis - in any place where the baby can move around and release the accumulated energy.
Create a positive psychological atmosphere at home. The kid should not hear the swearing of parents and see quarrels and scandals. Remember that the child copies the behavior of adults and it depends only on you how he will behave in society.
Be gentle and affectionate with your baby. Say how much you love him, kiss and hug the child.

Conclusion

Source: http://agushkin.ru/vospitanie/kak-otuchit-rebenka-kusatsya.html

How to wean a child from biting?

Sometimes it happens that your child suddenly becomes biting. He grabs his mother's hand with his teeth, tries to bite off his father's ear and even hones his “toothy” skills on a teddy bear. And if the bear does not care that they are trying to gnaw sawdust out of him, then the parents of the baby do not need such biting problems at all: it hurts, it hurts, and even a little scary.

And what if suddenly it is not mom or dad that is bitten, but a neighbor in the doorway or a kid in kindergarten? Here and before the conflict "armed" not far: quarrels, clarification of relations and, as a result, the search for a new kindergarten.

Why does the child bite? How should parents behave if this happens to their baby? What mistakes shouldn't be made in the weaning process? What if the baby not only bites, but also pinches and even fights? We will try to answer these and other questions right now.

Why does the child bite?

Bites at 6 months

the reason for the "biting" of the toddler is discomfort or pain caused by teething. Well, what else to scratch your gums, if not your beloved mother? Of course, this is very painful, especially when it comes to breast bites during feeding.

What to do?

Alternatively, buy plastic attachments that protect the breast from the baby's teeth, but do not interfere with feeding. You can also smear the nipples with a special product designed to alleviate the suffering of your baby while his teeth are growing.

You can also give your child a "helper": a piece of carrot or apple, a hard dryer or a teether, so that he sharpens his gums on them.

If the baby bit you "just like that", make a serious face and show with all your appearance how ugly it is. Finally, just be patient a little, even though it's incredibly difficult.

During this period, the baby bites when he is very excited: he is overwhelmed with the emotions that he puts into his bite (like his whole soul). Sometimes the child bites because they are just scared or angry with you for some reason.

What to do?

Try to show the kid that you cannot do this, it hurts you very much and you are offended by him. He will certainly study the received "information" and draw the correct conclusions.

Bites at 15-36 months

This time falls on the period of socialization of the child: the baby goes to kindergarten, but instead of making friends with peers, he begins to sharpen his grown teeth about them.

The reasons for biting behavior are caused by a simple desire to control the world around and to subjugate those who "inhabit" it. This is confirmed by the fact that the baby only bites his peers, and does not touch his relatives.

Sometimes it is not only the influence of other children that is to blame for a child's bite, but also a simple misunderstanding that it hurts someone.

What to do?

Explain to your child that no one will ever want to be friends with him, so angry and pugnacious.

Bites at three years old and after

When an adult three-year-old child begins to bite, this indicates that he is scared or feels helpless. Example: two kids did not share a toy and one of them bit an opponent. It happened because he simply did not find another way to defend his opinion (or defend himself, if small fists were used).

What to do?

You can check the child with a doctor to exclude neurological diseases from the list of reasons for biting.

It often happens that children who started biting at 2 years old continue to do so at 2.5 and even at 3. The problem is that now the baby's bites are no longer so harmless, but are already noticeably painful.

That is why experts advise parents of biting children to pay close attention to the child's behavior and respond to it immediately.

Finding out the reasons

The first thing you should do is understand why your child is attacked by the bite. Ask the teacher if there are such toothy children in your group, be sure to find out if something strange or bad happens before your child bites someone.

Finally, try to remember when it happened to your child the first time.

Intimate talk

Talk to your baby and find out why he shows his teeth. Explain in color and detail that only small children behave this way, and adults like him will never try to “eat” someone close to them. Make it clear to the child that he will not achieve anything good with bites, and even more so will not solve problems.

Expressing Feelings Right

The kid must understand that when expressing love, you need to hug the one for whom he has this tremulous feeling, and if he is overwhelmed with anger, let him speak about it directly.

Moving aggression

To wean your child from biting, you can enroll him in a pool or self-defense section. In general, where he will run, jump, move a lot and throw out the energy that overwhelms him.

Be consistent

React to each repetitive "incident" in the same way and then the child will learn the lesson, if not from the second time, then from the fifth for sure. He will simply understand that if he continues to do this, his mother will certainly scold him.

Creating a peaceful environment

Protect your child from quarrels and scandals, as psychologists say: biting children appear in families with an unfavorable emotional atmosphere. The kid should not see how adults sort things out - this will lead to the fact that he will copy this behavior model and will achieve what he wants in the same way.

Tenderness and affection will grind everything

Show more affection for the child and caress him, say that you love life more and kiss as hard as you can. You will see that instead of bites, he will give you the same strong kisses and hot hugs.

What should not be done if the baby bites?

Bite back

To get the baby to stop biting by responding "biting" - it even sounds strange, doesn't it?

Pay close attention to bites

Sometimes, in order for a child to stop biting, you just need to ignore it. It's a paradox, but seeing that the "defense" does not bear fruit, the baby simply stops exposing his teeth.

Wash your mouth with soap or slap on the lips

Such inappropriate behavior of parents will only aggravate the situation: internal aggression will increase, and the baby will decide that you do not understand him.

The child pinches and fights: why?

Sometimes it also happens that the baby "calls for help" not only teeth, but also hands: he actively begins to pinch and fight, causing bewilderment and even fear among the people around him with his behavior. The reasons for such aggression lie in negative emotions overwhelming the child: jealousy, anger, irritation and resentment.

The kid cannot accumulate negativity in himself, and when something does not work out for him or he is not given what he wants, emotions begin to overflow. The problem is also that the bites, pinches and blows get stronger and more frequent.

Let's take a closer look at why a child pinches and fights and how to wean him from it.

Child fights with other children

Preschool children fight either to demonstrate their strength to others, or because they want to attract someone's attention.

If you saw that your baby was fighting or someone from the neighbors told you about what happened, try to find out from them the details of the fight. This will make it easier for you to identify the cause of your baby's aggressive behavior.

Then call your child and listen to what he has to say about this. If he uses his hands because he wants to "educate" someone, explain that you need to achieve what you want with words, not fists.

At the same time, you should not scold the child, since you can turn from a well-wisher into a real enemy. And what does he do with them? Of course, it hits and stings.

Child fights with parents

If your baby hits you more often, keep in mind: this is a reaction to your "wrong" behavior. For example, you constantly scold him, forbid him everything in the world, or shame.

Another reason for fights is the problem of the child's perception, who thinks that by pinching or hitting someone, he will provoke him to a certain game: blow - resentment - reconciliation - hugs.

In both cases, you need to be more tolerant of the child and not be aggressive. He hit you - stop it without shouting or swearing. You can also take offense at him, hiding in another room. Let the whole house comfort you! Looking at this, the child will understand: his game has failed and, therefore, he did not do something very right.

Finally, the third reason why the kid fights (both with parents and with peers): he just saw enough "evil" cartoons and now positions himself as a negative character. Control what the TV "shows" to your baby, just do not forbid watching it at all.

task: to show the child the difference between good and evil and make it clear that good always wins.

When is it worth contacting a specialist?

The reasons for the aggressive behavior of a child are many factors: delayed speech development, trauma, serious illness, death of a close relative, the appearance of a new teacher or student in the classroom.

Even more often children bite, in whose families the parents themselves behave viciously: they constantly sort things out, quarrel and even fight. An apple from an apple tree, isn't it?

Signals indicating that you need to seek help from a psychologist are the following points:

the baby "sharpens" his teeth, not responding to your desire to stop it;
he is over three years old;
your child hurts other people with his bites;
the toddler does it to hurt;
he not only fights, but also tortures domestic animals.

Psychologists say that the habit of biting passes over time, but if the child is already three years old, and he continues to do it with doubled anger, then he needs the help of a specialist.

Summing up

Thinking about how to wean a child from biting, you should understand that only patience and work will help you to correct the situation, since the child's psyche is so flexible that it can be successfully corrected. Try to show your baby the beauty of being on the good side and teach him to express negativity in a safe and socially acceptable way.

Source: http://OtvetProst.com/527-kak-otuchit-rebenka-kusatsya.html

How to wean a child from biting?

The child can be biting. This attack may sooner or later appear in the life of every family. Of course, there is little pleasant in this.

Especially if it is not one of the baby's relatives who is bitten, but a neighbor's child or children from a kindergarten. There are several reasons for this situation. But they are all completely solvable.

The main thing is to understand your own offspring and be patient in order to wean him from such an unpleasant occupation.

Why does the child bite?

When you first encounter the fact that your little one has begun to clench his teeth on someone else's flesh, assess the situation in which this is happening. The reasons may vary depending on the age of the child. And accordingly, the methods of combating biting should also be different. Let's analyze each of them separately:

If the baby is 5-7 months old, the main reason for his bites is discomfort around the mouth or pain associated with teething. His main victims in this case are the next of kin. Often the mothers of these babies complain that the baby is biting the breast. What to do in this case? There are several options: buy special plastic attachments that will not interfere with feeding and protect the breast from bites, smear the nipples with a special teething agent that will ease the baby's suffering. But given the age of the child, sometimes you can simply endure, since bites associated with teething are almost inevitable.
8-14 months is the time when the baby bites when strongly aroused. Emotions overwhelm the baby, and in order to cope with them, he puts all his strength into the bite. You can get rid of such a habit with the help of the distraction of the child, a firm "no", or with the help of other relatives "take offense" and show that it hurts and that you cannot do that.
At the age of 15-36 months, parents face a problem when a child bites in kindergarten. This behavior is caused by the desire to subdue everyone around and control them. Moreover, the child himself bites and pinches only with strangers. He hardly touches his relatives. You can wean you from bites at this age only by explaining to your child that such behavior is unacceptable. As a last resort, you need to teach the child to speak in words if something does not suit him. For example, such as: "I am angry", "I do not want", "I am not happy", etc.
If a child bites and fights after three years, it indicates that he is scared or feels helpless. For example, if in a fight between two kids one feels weaker, then such a child bites other children in order to protect themselves. Even if the bite became a provocation from another baby, you need to show your baby to a doctor. It may well be that the child has problems with self-control or self-expression, which may be neurological in nature.

What to do if a child bites?

It is also worth remembering that sometimes the child bites his mother or himself in a state of aggression. It can be caused by the fact that the child did not get what he wanted, cannot control the behavior of adults, or is in an agitated state.

After the age of three, only specialists in the field of psychology and pedagogy can answer the question of how to wean a child from biting. For young children, bites are normal.

And you can get rid of it in several ways:

tell the baby firmly that it is impossible to bite, and this happened again, come up with the child to the bitten one and stroke him at the place where the injury was inflicted.
remember that playing with sand, water, and clay can help reduce aggression. Also, as often as possible, you need to let the baby draw with pencils, paints and crayons;
among the child's toys, there must be a designer and cubes;
let your baby gnaw solid foods more often: apples, carrots, cucumbers, drying, etc.;
never sort things out in front of a child, especially with shouts and fists, because this can become the reason for his aggression;
follow the baby's day regimen, alternating sleep, activity, eating and walking in the fresh air.

Remember that the child is copying your behavior and even facial expressions. Provide him with favorable conditions for harmonious development and surround him with affection and care. Then problems with bites will never affect you.

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We all know the story of Rudyard Kipling, where the main character, Mowgli, was a wild boy, but very kind, and eventually returned to the people. In real life, of course, everything would be different, but sometimes it happens that the most ordinary, "human cubs" become real wolf cubs and begin to get their way by biting.

To the question "Is it possible to wean a child from biting?" answers Elena Pavlovna Krechko, family and child psychologist, director of the network of private kindergartens and development and education centers "Elitor".

If you have a family counselor or the opportunity to consult with one, the problem can be solved quickly and easily. In the absence of serious psychological problems, you can wean a child from biting on their own, without resorting to help (in most cases). To do this, at first, the child is informed that (and why) biting is not good, and then, with the help of control and the correct reaction, the result is achieved - the child ceases to achieve his goal by such a “beastly” method.

Bites are aggression

Why do children bite at all? We will not mention the specific age of the teeth, when the child's gums itch corny. There are many “grandmother's” methods for getting rid of itching, as well as gels and other remedies in the modern pharmacy. But what to do when the teeth have already grown, and for a long time, and news comes from kindergarten or even from elementary school that the child bites, and how does the escaped Mowgli solve problems with his teeth?

Bites are, first of all, a manifestation of aggression. But what the child reacts to in this way is to be found out by the parents. Observe carefully your baby: when, where and on what, what behavior of others he begins to bite. After all, bites are a baby's reaction to that trouble in the relationship in which the child is at the moment. The source can be in the family and in the garden. If you have the opportunity to limit or relieve the baby from the situation, the problem will be solved by itself. Alternatively, it can be a certain boy or girl who offend him in a group, or when you argue at home with family. Change the situation and the problem may simply disappear.

Sometimes, in very serious cases, parents are forced to change the kindergarten. But these are extreme measures, because the child's bites can be fought.

Bites are a substitute

Why are we more tolerant of animal bites? Because for an animal this is the only way to show its attitude to certain actions performed with them. After all, animals cannot speak. For a child, bites are also a substitute for the verbal way of expressing negative emotions. With undeveloped speech at a certain age, it is difficult to explain why you are angry or offended, what you don’t like, what you want this baby to return your toy to, or your parents stop yelling at each other. Bites for a baby in this case are a way of expressing negative emotions, a simpler, and, by the way, a very effective way to achieve their goal.

Sometimes the problem of bites is due to the lack of development of tactile sensitivity. Such babies suck on the pacifier longer and have a slight lag in speech. In this case, in the process of getting rid of the habit of biting, give the child more food to chew: apples, carrots.

Do's and Don'ts

It is categorically impossible to respond to bites with aggression: swear, spank or bite in response. As with parenting in general, an aggressive response will not solve the problem, but only intimidate and can create a complex. The very first step of a parent is to explain to the child that he (or the neighbor) has hurt him. Explain in words, calmly and confidently, show the trail, give a recent example ("Do you remember, you fell and cried, and it hurt you? It hurts just the same now").

Since biting is a substitute for speech, teach your child the words and phrases that he replaces with such an action. It can be: “No,” “I don’t like it,” “You offended me,” “I don’t want to,” etc. Explain that words are easier to get things done. Play scenes of possible scenarios with toys.

Sometimes children bite, checking relatives or peers. In this case, the baby explores the reactions, he is curious about the behavior of others. In addition, he seeks the limits of what is permitted, checks what he can get away with. In this case, adults need to make it very clear to their child what can and cannot be done, and that bites are unacceptable. Parents should immediately, but calmly, explain that they do not like being bitten, that they are hurt and unpleasant. At the same time, it is important to express what actions you want to see: "I really like it when you stroke my hair" or "When we hug, I feel warm and comfortable."

Sometimes it happens that a bite is a manifestation of attention and positive feelings. You may have played games with him in the past, where you nibbled lightly. But children have not yet developed a sense of proportion. In this case, stop all biting games, do not react positively to the child's bites: do not laugh, do not smile, say that you do not want to “play this game” or “better kiss me”. Without encouragement, this way of expressing emotions will be forgotten on its own.

Finally

You can fight the biting habit yourself. Of course, it would be good to involve a kindergarten, school or private psychologist, as a professional will help you quickly understand the problem and find ways to solve it. If this is not possible, the parent himself can observe the child, find the root cause and solve the problem. Most importantly, remember that the habit of biting is not at all an indicator of any psychological problems. More often than not, this is just a bad habit.