Today unequal marriages will no longer surprise anyone. And both in one direction and in the other. How does it affect family life Is there a big age difference between the spouses? And what kind of life should it be in order to guarantee an idyll in family relationships?
Peers
At first glance, it is marriages between peers that should be the most prosperous. Still, common interests, a common circle of friends, approximately the same life experience and future prospects work to unite us. However, not everything is so rosy.
To begin with, couples of the same age most often meet in early marriages - 19-23 years old. And at this age, spouses are usually not yet ready to adapt to each other. Lacks wisdom and flexibility in relationships.
In addition, discrepancies in sexual interests often have an impact. Experts say that a woman’s true sensuality awakens only at the age of 30, while for the stronger sex this very peak occurs at the age of 21 - 25.
Perhaps it is for these reasons that 53 percent of marriages concluded by young people the same age fall apart.
In addition, some believe that it is men who are married to women the same age who are most often inclined to change their companions during the ill-fated midlife crisis.
Marriages between peers have a better chance of finding harmony when people meet when they are old enough, with the necessary life experience and baggage.
Wife is older than husband
Recently, such marriages are perceived by the public much more calmly. Moreover, as experts say, they have many advantages.
To begin with, in purely sexual terms, it is easier for a 20-year-old man to match with a woman who is 5-6 years older than him than with someone his own age.
The heyday of female sexuality occurs in the period from 30 to 45 years, and for some it lasts up to 50. In the stronger sex, as research shows, by the age of 35-40 a period of steadily high sexuality begins, and after 45 it slowly goes down. decline So it turns out that in terms of sexual hours, older women are the best match for young men.
True, with age, the importance of sexual relations for a wife will fade into the background.
But usually by this time the spouses have other points of contact that keep them close to each other. After all, in the end, people who agree not only in bed dare to enter into such relationships.
Complex and insecure young guys who grew up under the tutelage of their mother and grandmother often fall in love with older women. They do not know how to express themselves through “real masculine actions” (well, there is a fight over girls, active courtship). And therefore they are not popular with their peers.
The wives of such men most often do not fully satisfy the instinct of motherhood. Or she doesn't have children of her own. Or her children have already matured and do not need their mother’s care.
Such a union can last quite a long time if the husband-boy does not suddenly grow up one day or for some reason begins to be burdened by excessive guardianship.
Tend to fall in love mature women and romantic natures, for whom such women seem to be the embodiment feminine ideal- well-groomed, educated, gentle and romantic. It is these kinds of romances that usually drag on for a long time and then successfully develop into marriage.
As a rule, women who are capable of seriously captivating men younger than themselves are extraordinary individuals, and next to them a young man matures quite quickly, gaining self-confidence and life wisdom.
So, psychologically, such a relationship can benefit both. If only a woman is smart enough not to treat her husband like an unreasonable baby. Because even if he married an adult woman because he needed a motherly wife, he would still soon rebel from such treatment.
Husband is older than wife
But still, it is considered most acceptable when a man is older than his chosen one. True, recently marriages have become fashionable in which the husband is almost fit to be the father of his wife.
From the point of view of experts, there is nothing unnatural in the desire of men to marry young women.
Women are attracted to older men because, firstly, they are wealthier and more successful than their peers. And women, again by nature itself, are prescribed to “fall for” such representatives of the stronger sex.
Secondly, very often girls who grew up without a father or simply did not receive enough fatherly love fall in love with much older men.
Girls who are accustomed to constant parental care, when they grow up, will also fall in love with men older than themselves, who will become a parent and husband for her, as they say, in one bottle. And if a man likes a father-daughter relationship, family harmony is guaranteed for this couple. He will always be able to feel like the undisputed head of the family. She will never challenge his leadership.
Some women choose men much older than themselves, thus trying to increase their self-esteem. As a rule, these are girls with a deep-seated inferiority complex who received little praise in the family.
Next to a man who is 20 or more years older than her, who is ready to admire his young wife, she can finally feel like a queen.
So, whatever one may say, unequal barges contain many positive aspects. Although, of course, there are pitfalls.
In unequal boats, experts say, those who are younger age faster. Especially a woman. But she still has a need for feelings. And if some Don Juan appears on the path of such a woman, then it is possible that loyalty to her husband will be over.
So consider it
So what is the optimal age difference between spouses? There is no consensus on this matter.
Some experts believe that for a stable long-term relationship, the age difference between spouses should be approximately 5-7 years.
Other scientists even offer a formula for calculating an ideal marriage: “husband’s age: 2+7 = wife’s age.” That is, if a man is 40 years old, divide by 2 - it turns out 20, then add 7 and get the age of his ideal wife: 27 years.
Astrologers suggest determining the compatibility of spouses by age based on the ancient Zoroastrian calendar. Here it does not matter at all which of the spouses is older. The main thing is how much.
So, according to this system marriage between peers although it guarantees a successful union and many children, it does not always imply personal growth.
One year difference promises a marriage based on trust, mutual assistance, as well as harmonious joint raising of children.
Two years - such marriages are usually romantic and sudden. The spouses face an endless series of ups and downs, alternating violent passion with periods of sharp cooling.
Union of spouses with three years difference at an older age he is too emotional and will only withstand trials if one of the partners is able to balance the relationship. Marriage is similar six years apart at the age of the partners. It will work out successfully only if both are willing to maintain the relationship. But in terms of unleashing the creative potential of spouses, such a marriage is considered an ideal option.
Marriage where husband or wife four years older promises complete harmony. This is a friendship-marriage in which a trusting relationship between spouses remains even after a divorce.
Difference between spouses at 5, 10 or 15 years beautiful if they are united by common affairs and interests.
A marriage with a difference between husband and wife is also considered extremely stable at 7, 8 or 14 years old.
Nine years difference promises a difficult and conflict-ridden marriage, which, however, can stimulate the creative potential of lovers of spice in relationships. An eleven-year marriage in which quarrels and reconciliations alternate is similar.
With a twelve year difference At an older age, success in marriage especially depends on the willingness of partners to make concessions.
Married thirteen years apart, According to Zoroastrians, spirituality comes to the fore. Well and a sixteen year difference aged, in their opinion, is the best union, combining the magic of all lucky numbers.
... However, the main condition for a happy life together still remains love, the desire to give warmth and understanding to your chosen one. And then no age difference will be a hindrance.
Ecology of consciousness. Psychology: According to experts, it doesn’t matter which spouse is older, the main thing is what the age difference is. So...
According to experts, it doesn’t matter which spouse is older, the main thing is what the age difference is. So...
The difference is zero.
Such marriages work out better economic relations, but much worse with self-development and a bit boring in sex.
The difference is 1 year.
In such unions, the leading role usually belongs to the woman, although she does not often have to use her power.
The difference is 2 years.
Such marriages are extremely unstable financially; even with high earnings, money trickles through your fingers like sand. Relationships are built on emotions, which on the rise give unforgettable sensations, but on the decline can lead to a breakup.
The difference is 3 years, 6 years, 9 years.
A husband and wife with such an age difference do not so much differ in their views on life as they are prone to a conflict of temperaments. However, they manage to get along even though they are completely unable to appreciate each other.
©Annie Leibovitz
The difference is 4 years. The spiritual and sexual sides of life are harmonious, which is a guarantee of a stable and long marriage. If the marriage does break up, then the former partners will still remain friends.
The difference is 5 years, 10 years, 15 years.
Relationships are especially successful if the professional or creative lives of the spouses are on the same plane.
The difference is 7 years, 14 years.
Such couples usually exist in an atmosphere of insincerity, where partners hide from each other even completely innocent details of their past or present (for example, earnings or health problems). However, the likelihood of divorce is extremely low - these two are attracted to each other.
The difference is 8 years.
This seems like the best possible age difference. The marriage will withstand any test and will be unconditionally recognized as happy by its “authors”. The spouses will be given everything - love and mutual understanding,
and tenderness and sexual attraction.
The difference is 11 years.
The relationship between such spouses is like a tragic farce. Stormy scandals give way to no less stormy sex, and reconciliation is followed by a new scandal. There will definitely be breaks and divorces, as well as subsequent reunions and love games.
The difference is 12 years.
The relationships between the partners are complex, even dramatic, but interesting. Only the ability of both to compromise can save such a marriage. In the happiest moments of life, there is no one more beautiful than this couple.
The difference is 13 years.
Such people are kept and happy in marriage by spiritual community. It is best if one of the partners is a great figure in his business, and the second is an associate of his half.
The difference is 16 years.
Marriage is rare, but the happiest. Even happier than the 4 and 8 year olds. Happiness is simply overflowing.
As you can see, astrologers limited themselves to analyzing marriages with a difference of up to 16 years. What if the age gap is even greater? 20, 30 or 40 years? Psychologists analyzed the success and failure of such unions and came to the following conclusions.
©Annie Leibovitz
The husband is much younger, the wife is much older
Prospects
Intimate
At first, sex will be completely idyll. A woman has reached the peak of sexuality, is liberated, knows what she wants and knows how to express her feelings and desires. If she takes care of herself and continues to surprise her husband with the delights of sexual self-expression, then harmony in intimate life will be long or lifelong. If a woman “neglects” herself outwardly or allows sex to become routine, then her young husband’s betrayal is inevitable, possibly even to the point of divorce.
Health.
With a young spouse, it is better for the wife to be healthy and energetic. An eternally ill spouse will look even older, making the couple more disharmonious. The sick husband will not be abandoned in such a tandem, but will be perceived by others as “the sick child of a caring mother.”
Friends.
Friends of the same age as the wife will intensively charm the “boy,” and it is possible that one of them will achieve success. However, a company of peers of a young husband is even less preferable, since against its background the wife’s advanced age will especially stand out. In addition, in this party there will be a sea of young competitors. Therefore, the most the best option- communicate less with friends, limiting yourself to casual and non-binding acquaintances.
Relatives.
Most parents don’t want to hear anything about “overripe” daughters-in-law and “young” grooms. However, if a couple manages to establish themselves as happy or at least harmonious, backing all this up with the birth of a healthy baby, then there is a high probability that irreconcilable relatives will change their anger to mercy and recognize their son-in-law or daughter-in-law.
Heirs.
Young men, as a rule, are worthless fathers; they still need to grow and mature before fatherhood. However, if a man wants to be the “adult husband” of a respectable lady, then he will treat his father’s responsibilities with double responsibility.
If a woman already has children, the situation becomes more complicated. Due to the small age difference, they will not perceive their mother’s husband as a father (and it hardly makes sense to force them). It is worse if they show mutual or one-sided sexual interest in each other. This is definitely the end of an unequal marriage - scandalous and traumatic.
Money.
A wife with a respectable age and a hefty wallet next to a cute milksucker without a penny in his pocket is a relationship that is often encountered and does not exist for long. Young people without complexes often easily enter into such marriages, considering them sponsored. If the money runs out, then the “love” on the part of the spouse ends. If he is not only young, but also entrepreneurial in commercial terms, then, having gained at least some independence financially, he will decisively leave the family nest. It rarely happens otherwise.
Compromises.
Every marriage needs them. With the ratio “the wife is older, the husband is young,” the woman will have to close her eyes to many things in her husband’s behavior and forgive, forgive, forgive. A man will have to put up with endless jealousy and suspicion, and also forever have to prove that he is a man and not a dependent brat.
The husband is much older, the wife is much younger
Prospects
Intimate
The peak of the groom's sexuality is long behind him, so you can't expect frantic pressure and African passion from him. If he is in good shape, plays or has been involved in sports, and is naturally sexy, then the young wife will be quite happy with the intimate side of life at first, having discovered love with a mature partner. As women's sexuality grows over the years, the crisis situation in the bedroom will increase. The young husbands of friends who are the same age will awaken special feelings in a woman. To turn the situation to his advantage, the elderly husband will have to either allow (openly or secretly) his wife to have a lover for intimate pastime, or “give” her more children - then she will have no time for “nonsense.”
Health.
A healthy man, especially a husband, is better than a sick man, regardless of age. With an active and at the same time gentle lifestyle, you can, in principle, maintain health until old age. The husband’s illnesses are easier to bear if he does not focus on them and does not neglect doctors’ orders.
Friends.
If interests coincide, then the age of the husband's friends matters little. And the husband will not mind if young girlfriends visit his young wife. But a smart mature husband will impose a ban on visiting friends of the same age with or without girlfriends. It is best for such spouses to communicate with similar couples. Grown-up men will gossip about their own things, and girls will chatter about theirs.
Relatives.
The husband's parents (if alive) will treat the daughter-in-law patronizingly or indifferently. If they suspect her of making a mercantile choice of groom, they will hate her and start plotting. The best thing to do is to find one key or another for them and establish relationships. The bride's parents will be the same age or even younger than the groom. Even if they are against their daughter’s choice, they will still maintain a respectful or restrained tone in their relations with their son-in-law.
Heirs.
The husband probably already has them, and besides, they are the same age or older than his young wife. They're unlikely to like daddy's new wife, and you shouldn’t count on their goodwill.Having a baby from an elderly spouse is also not bad. Mature man will most likely be a wonderful caring father, strivingconvey to your child all your experience and wisdom.
Money.
Young girls don’t marry the elderly and poor - there’s no reason to. Unless for very talented, but not recognized, or for the sake of registration. In most cases, the groom is not too young, but very wealthy, which gives him self-confidence. He will most likely divide the inheritance between his former and current wives and children, which will make everyone extremely unhappy.
This might interest you:
Compromises.
A woman who marries a man who is decades older than her needs to come to terms with the idea that best years she will give it to her elderly spouse, and at 40 - 45 she will be left alone and, most likely, will not marry again. An older man who marries a girl will have to pretend that he does not see how she “licks her lips” at young men, how she rushes to discos and youth parties. And finally, how will she attempt to find a lover... published
At the initial stage of the relationship, couples in love feel so happy that they do not think about further life together. Is it possible to predict the development of events in advance, and is it worth doing this if this moment Is everything going so well? What difference does it make who is older than whom if people love each other? Public opinion is annoying because others judge a situation without seeing it from all sides. Of course, the age difference alone cannot be the cause of conflicts, or, conversely, the guarantee of happiness - there are also personal qualities of nature and a host of other factors. However, psychologists have identified some features of relationships in which the husband is significantly older than the wife, or vice versa.
Peer marriage
The most common relationship model. The level of mutual understanding is high, even if the spouses have different views on life. It is easier for people who grew up at the same time to understand each other. Children in such marriages are most often born a few years after the wedding - the newlyweds want to live for themselves, and time does not rush them (if the spouses are young).
The beginning is good and promising, but mutual understanding and predictability of the course of events gradually lead to a loss of interest on both sides. Relationships need to be constantly refreshed, delight each other with surprises, and make changes to your appearance (for women) so that the everyday side of life does not turn your relationship into a routine.
Husband is older than wife
In pre-revolutionary times, such marriages were natural - a young girl was married to a man old enough to be her father, and marriages with peers were very rare. Then the long-awaited freedom of choice came, and families where there was a significant age difference between spouses became a rare phenomenon. In recent years, the trend towards marriages with mature men is once again gaining momentum, and the reason for this is the reluctance of the stronger sex to marry in their youth. Of course, we are not talking about all men, but according to statistics, the average age of most grooms has increased significantly. Since the childbearing age of women is shorter than that of men, girls who dream of family happiness are drawn to those men who are morally ready for marriage.
The difference is 5-7 years
Golden mean. The age difference is almost not felt, and provided they are compatible in temperament, their views on life are quite the same. If we are not talking about a too young couple, then the man has managed to gain the necessary life experience and is ready to start a family. According to statistics, it is in such marriages that large quantity children than in others.
There are exceptions, but in most cases in such love unions the role of leader goes to the man. The woman feels protected, and the man feels responsible for the relationship. If a couple is connected by mutual feelings, then the chances of happiness for the lovers are very high.
The difference is 8-17 years
The initial interest is very strong. An older man is attractive to a woman because he looks more self-confident and reliable than a man of the same age. In addition, an adult man understands female psychology much better than a young guy, and therefore does not make common mistakes that lead to conflicts. If he already has experience of an unsuccessful marriage, he will be more careful in choosing a second wife, so his second marriage promises to be stronger than the first.
There is also a flip side to the coin. A girl or young woman has a much higher need for sex than a man who is 10 years or more older than her. Over time, the young wife begins to look at younger men, and the husband, feeling a loss of interest on her part, does not always act thoughtfully, as a result of which a crisis occurs in the relationship, which can become disastrous for the marriage.
The difference is 20 years or more
Such relationships are often decided young girls who in childhood lacked care and attention from their father. They want to find a reliable shoulder in a life partner, so attention from a mature man is very pleasant for them. If we are not talking about seeking material benefits on the part of a woman, we will have to constantly work on the sustainability of these relationships. Relationship problems may include:
- Lack of common friends and interests. Most of the husband’s friends are about the same age as him, so a young girl will not be interested in either them or their wives. You can, of course, relax separately, but given the age difference between spouses, this is not the best The best decision. To prevent the husband and wife from starting to move away from each other, they will need to constantly seek compromises and meet each other halfway;
- Birth of children. This problem does not affect all couples, but it is still relevant. The young wife dreams of motherhood, and the husband has already managed to raise children from a previous marriage, so he is not eager to become a father again. It hardly makes sense to put pressure on him, or look for a way to get pregnant, since his honest admission that the birth of a child will not please him is in itself a serious warning;
- Jealousy. No matter how the husband tries to convince his young wife that he completely trusts her and does not, deep down in his soul he realizes the power of competition from young and strong men. If jealousy is not brought under control in time, it will lead to mistrust, the relationship will deteriorate, and it is likely that the spouse’s fears will come true. Suspicion is unpleasant for any woman, and if you hear reproaches addressed to you too often, you may one day decide to make a choice in favor of a calmer and more trusting relationship.
Wife is older than husband
This model of relationship is less common than the previous one, for the reason that not every woman is ready to decide on a relationship with a man who is younger than her. The weaker sex is more dependent on public opinion, and if a mature man is proud of his young wife, then adult women often have a complex compared to their young chosen ones.
The difference is 5-7 years
Considering that modern women They do everything to look young, the difference may not be noticeable externally. There are obvious advantages to such an alliance:
- A woman clearly knows what she wants;
- Most often, she is financially independent from a man;
- The sexual activity of lovers is completely the same.
In such relationships, the woman most often dominates, but we are not talking about obvious pressure on the man, but rather about a veiled ability to get one’s way. This does not mean that the man will definitely be under her thumb, because he also has his own interest in this relationship, and even his own benefit. It is much easier to win over an older woman than one of the same age. Of course, for some women this model of relationship is unacceptable, but now we are talking about those who are trying with all their might to arrange their personal life and consider all options as possible. An older woman is no longer so confident in her irresistibility, and every year she has less and less time to search for her happiness. home positive side Such relationships result in fewer conflicts between spouses than in a family of two peers. The woman has become wiser and more tolerant, and therefore more loyal and less picky.
The difference is 8-15 years
Quite a noticeable difference that cannot be unnoticeable. Each party has its own motivation for developing this relationship. If a couple is united by feelings, the relationship is unlikely to have a chance to be cloudless, since on the woman’s part there will certainly be fear of a possible severance of ties with her loved one. If she doesn't get her emotions under control, even the best will not save the marriage. strong feelings. Feeling the tension, or worse, trying total control on the part of the wife, the young husband will one day not be able to stand it and want to make his life easier...
The difference is 16 years or more
If this relationship is based on mutual feelings, then it is rather not love, but a bright, but short flash of passion. In this case, like a relationship in a holiday romance, both parties understand very well from the very beginning that the relationship will not last long.
If we are not talking about meetings, but about marriage, where the wife is significantly older than her husband, most often it is a matter of material interest on his part. This could be living space, generous gifts, no need to work, or vice versa, career advancement under the auspices of the spouse.
There are exceptions to any rule, and the probability is strong mutual love always present. To maintain her happiness, a woman needs to give up trying to dominate in a relationship, otherwise the young husband will feel as if he is not with the woman he loves, but with an overbearing mother.
Hello to all my readers! I will share with you my next opinion on this issue: perfect difference aged between a man and a woman. Should a man be older or younger than his partner?
Once I was riding in a subway car. There is a couple standing at the exit. He is over 50, bald, overweight, and tastefully dressed. She is about 25 years old. He constantly leans over to Her and kisses her somewhere between her ear and cheek. At the same time, she moves away a little and averts her eyes. Then at the next station He takes Her hand and they leave.
What kind of relationship does this couple have? What do they have in common? How are they related to each other?
It is immediately clear that the middle-aged man is in love with the girl. Maybe he’s not in love, but he’s simply flattered by the attention of a young girl. There is no obvious love on her part. It is clear that she is embarrassed by her gentleman. She herself does not show any initiative in expressing feelings.
Then what is she doing next to him? The answer suggests itself: a man with money, with status. Maybe this is what attracts the girl?
The ideal age difference between a man and a woman - what is it?
The man is much older than the woman
I don't understand men like this. Do they really think that at their age they can count on the love of a young girl?
After all, it is quite obvious that there is no trace of love here, but only mercantile interest.
The girl will play the role of a lover for a while and will receive everything for which this relationship was started. And that's it, goodbye love.
Meanwhile, the man, having aged a little more, remains alone. And if he does not draw any conclusions, then it is likely that he will step on the same rake again.
Look Ural Dumplings Show "Tolya-Zhuk" :
A woman is much older than a man
The same can be said about a woman who is getting younger, who for some reason believes that a man much younger than her can sincerely fall in love and even ask her to marry her. Yes, she is so smart and beautiful, but... for her age.
And a man who chooses a woman 20-30 years older as his partner most often turns out to be an ordinary gigolo.
You don’t have to look far for an example: again, I’m on the subway. An 80-year-old grandmother sits next to me (she herself told me about her age). The following is a story in her words:
“I’m already in my ninth decade, I don’t have a husband. I buried four. I really want to meet a man. But where can I get it?
Men don't look at me anymore - give them young people! And there are no men my age left...
I recently met someone here. He is nearly 60. She let him live with her. And he, the pest, never even gave me a single flower; in the restaurant I always pay for it.
Only he constantly asks for money and spends it on his mistress. In general, I kicked him out..."
How do you like this? Isn’t this the same man in his late 60s (over 50s) who kissed the girl on the subway? And there are many such stories.
Let's consider a peer union
He is young, handsome, she is beautiful, young (for example, they study at a university together). Everything is great. We decided to be together. A year, two, even ten passes. And at some point they realize that there is nothing to talk about. Suddenly it turns out that they have different values in life, different concepts, polar priorities.
And these people begin to disperse and run away.
And the explanation for this phenomenon is quite simple: these comrades do not have common interests, hobbies, they even have different perceptions of the world.
Why is this happening? I think because one person in a couple develops, grows above himself, constantly learns something, and the second simply lives, not particularly interested in anything.
From here emerges a difference in worldview, in attitude towards the environment, and hence conflicts, quarrels, misunderstandings. All. We have nothing in common, we no longer love each other and there is no reason for us to be together.
This is why many couples break up, although everything started out so great.
A man must be older than his chosen one
It's my personal opinion. The man must be older, but no more than 10-12 years. Then it’s just too much. May the men who will read this article forgive me, but their brains in everyday life develop a little longer than those of women.
I in no way want to “hook” the stronger sex, it’s just nature’s way. And that is why the union of a 25-year-old woman and a 35-year-old man, for example, is good.
In addition, after 30 years, many men just mature for a family.
They understand well what they want from family relations, clearly imagine the role of husband and father and very consciously prepare for the appearance of heirs.
At the same age, many men already have a status in society, a position, they stand more confidently on their feet.
Of course, there is its own charm in starting a family with your classmate. Both are young and promising. together we go through all the difficulties, maybe even hardships. Together they get on their feet, achieve something, raise children.
But the prose of life is such that having gone all the way FROM and TO with her husband, a woman after 20-30 years of marriage may well be left alone, and her husband will kiss a young girl in the subway. And it’s also good if all his property does not miraculously pass to his new chosen one, but remains to his wife and children.
I'm not saying that this is always what happens, but such cases are not isolated.
Finally, watch one instructive video about the dangers of tediousness. Satirical magazine "Fitil" , 1972. Just like that, off topic:
Eleanor Brik
A popular saying in Russia: “all ages are submissive to love.” Any person wants to find a soul mate. And sometimes circumstances develop in such a way that the person you love is older or younger than you. Does it create a problem for the relationship, or is it stereotypes that have developed in society?
Optimal ratio
Is there a clear framework for what age difference between a man and a woman is optimal, or does it all depend on the mentality, mindset and character of the partners.
Women, on the contrary, look at experienced men older than themselves.
Age difference in different countries
Finns decided that the best age difference between spouses was 15 years. Younger woman. In this situation, their offspring will be born healthy, without any physical or mental abnormalities. But in fact, compliance with these indicators is only 10%. Therefore, scientists are sure that fewer and fewer healthy children are born every year. According to average statistics, 3 years is the most common level, with the husband being older than the wife.
IN Sweden After studying several thousand married couples, scientists came to the conclusion that the best age difference is 6 years. But less is better than more. In addition, after conducting a sociological survey, the main criterion for marriage for women is the man’s material well-being. If he has a well-paid job, then feelings are not important. It turns out that Swedes are prone to arranged marriages.
IN England the situation is different. The wives there are often older than the men. Approximately 50/50% of the wife is older than her husband: from a few days to 5 years, from 5 years and older. Scientists believe that the higher a man's level of intelligence, the healthier his offspring will be. In this case, age does not play any role.
IN America researchers took a completely different path. They conducted a survey among 8,000 respondents, finding out the age at which they lost their virginity. Based on the data collected, it was found that those who lost their virginity between the ages of 14 and 16 had children with poor health, as did those who lost their virginity at the age of 22 and older. The optimal period for deflowering turned out to be from 17 to 18 years. Their children were born relatively strong.
IN Russia The situation is this: a smaller percentage occurred in marriages where the husband is 5 or more years younger than his wife (about 6%). The largest share occurred among those of the same age and with a difference of 2-5 years (the man is older than the woman).
Does this indicator affect the strength and length of marriage? After all, some live happily married until their last breath, while others begin to quietly hate each other after a couple of years. Last time .
The strength of the relationship also depends on the age at which the couple got married. The period from 18 to 20 years is considered unreliable. The spouses are still too young, inexperienced, and do not know how to compromise. In addition, age does not allow them to be independent. It’s rare that at 18 you have a stable income and the opportunity to climb the career ladder. Because of this, difficulties arise with housing, choosing priorities, where to spend money first.
At this age, girls and boys have not yet had enough fun, so there is a possibility that after a while one of the partners will begin to cheat and lead a riotous lifestyle. What's the result?
If a child appears in such a couple, it periodically happens that the responsibilities of caring for the baby fall into the hands of the parents of the newlyweds.
When a couple gets married at the age of 25-30, then we can say with almost complete certainty that they made this decision responsibly. Most likely, the partners already have a stable job, some career issues have faded into the background, they have experience in relationships, and the ability to come to a compromise in difficult situations. As a rule, if such a couple was able to live through the first five-year period, then further difficulties will be resolved with a bang. 
The optimal age difference between a man and a woman is a range of 3-5 years. It doesn’t matter who is older in the couple.
Age difference in years: features
3-5 years
If a woman or man is 3-5 years older than their partner, they can be considered almost the same age. In such a short period of time, interests do not change, so partners will always have general classes, identical problems that are solved together. They always have something to talk about, something to do at home on a dull gray day.
6-11 years
This difference is already impressive, so it is important here that the man is older than his wife. If in youth age differences are not so noticeable, then by the age of 40-50 a woman begins menopause and hormonal changes. Because of this, appearance does not change better side, wrinkles appear. At the same time, the man still remains fresh, young and vigorous. He is able to attract a young girl. Therefore, if there is a weak connection in the family, there is no love, there is no mutual respect, then most likely.
There are exceptions.
Over 11 years
It is important here that a woman knows how to compromise. In such a couple, for the successful development of relationships, it is required that the man sees in his chosen one not only a woman, but also a child whom he will care for, guide on the right path in life, and teach. A woman must be wise in order for a relationship to last a long time; she must at least pretend that she likes to take such care of herself as a child. If it turns out differently, and the woman becomes capricious, this marriage will end.
A man is more than 10 years younger than a woman
Such a difference is unlikely to find understanding among relatives and friends. This marriage is possible, but if fulfilled following conditions: a woman does not take on the role of “mommy”, she is not jealous of the young entourage of her husband of the opposite sex, and does not control every step of her chosen one.
Of the minuses: differences in interests, social circles, often – the inability to have a child and financial superiority over the spouse.
On the plus side: woman’s wisdom, life experience, control of emotions.
Since ancient times, it has been said that a man is the head of the family, the breadwinner, and the woman leads the everyday life and is subordinate. When this formula is violated, then the marriage between people will most likely be unhappy or last a short time. But there are exceptions to the rules.
Reaction from family and friends
If there is a difference of more than 10 years between lovers, this is not always perceived positively by relatives and friends. There is a feeling of condemnation and misunderstanding from loved ones. What to do so that family and friends stop interfering in your life and trust your choice:
Talk to your relatives in private, gather a family council. Explain to them that you are no longer a girl and can make decisions on your own, so the choice of a man is a personal matter for everyone.
If this conversation has not enlightened your relatives, and they continue to be perplexed, indignant and show antipathy towards your partner, invite him to visit. Prepare dinner, prepare wine for gatherings. Ask your loved one to be himself without “showing off” or bragging. The family should like it. Let him explain the current situation from his bell tower, talk about feelings, emotions and plans for the future. In order for his parents and relatives to accept him, he must come across as a positive, calm and dignified person.
Be honest about the age of your chosen one. Lying has never brought anyone to a positive solution to a problem. Even if the difference is 20 or more, say so.
Husband is fit to be a father
Young women are attracted to men 15 or more years older. They are attracted by experience, the special attitude of a husband towards his wife, like a child. But relatives and friends are often dissatisfied with such a union and predict separation and the inability to have children. And if the husband also earns good money, then the woman is accused of chasing money rather than a love relationship. Will such a union be able to develop and have a future?
The desire to be under the wing of a mature man most often comes from childhood. Either the girl was overprotected by her father, and as an adult she is looking for a similar person, a similar relationship. There is also another situation, when a girl grew up without a father, she lacked male attention. And now that she's grown up, she gets a "daddy."
Such marriages are often successful, but some of them cannot be called such. The husband takes on a leading role, solves family problems, teaches his wife, and the relationship takes on a “father-daughter” flavor. Due to a difference of more than 20 years, psychological differences arise, differences in interests, sexual preferences and capabilities. It happens that a woman finds consolation on the side, since her adult husband does not satisfy her needs. If he finds out about his partner's infidelity, he often puts up with this arrangement of things. Although this situation does not bring him positive emotions, but rather the opposite. 
Being under the full care of a man, a woman forgets about herself and her development. If the outcome is negative (the death of her husband or leaving), the woman is left without a livelihood. She didn’t have time to get an education, never worked, and in fact she doesn’t know much. Therefore, further independent life is in question.
Some women eventually outgrow such relationships, which are based on the care of a father for his daughter. They become independent and go to work. The husband doesn’t like this, and a jealous attitude appears on his part. Sometimes such husbands forbid their wives to work because of raging emotions, in fact they imprison them and control their every step.
Another disadvantage of a relationship with a significant other is the impossibility of having children. It's connected with physiological characteristics men. But in this case, contact Orphanage to take the baby from there.
There is no need to blindly believe statistical studies or the opinions of psychologists, trust each other, own feelings and emotions, then happy life secure with your loved one. Age distinctions are not the main criteria for choosing a loved one. When you meet, do not rush to look at your passport and check your year of birth. Please remember that this fact may affect life together. But we ourselves are the architects of our own happiness.
19 February 2014, 14:32
