Household responsibilities of children in the family. What responsibilities can children have in a family. Self-reliance in exchange for time

Segregation of duties

In today's changing society, children must become “partners” for parents and teachers. There are many things that can help in this difficult task: mutual respect; coordination of views; making decisions together; joint agreement for purposes, rules or restrictions; granting certain rights and privileges.

Taking on responsibilities can elevate a person both in their own eyes and in the perception of others. As the child begins to understand the benefits of cooperation, he begins to perceive himself as a person who can help other people. It is best when the development of this aspect of the child's personality occurs in an evolutionary way, i.e. when a child becomes useful and needed at an early age and is expected to become even more independent and independent over time.

Based on their own experience and life situations, adults can come up with many different tasks, completing which the child will make his contribution to the common cause. Parents and teachers who understand that the child needs to be involved in some responsibilities are sometimes confused, not knowing what to do and what to expect. The purpose of this article is to help them cope with this task.

To accustom the child to the fulfillment of duties is necessary gradually. First, establish a relationship of trust, then in a friendly conversation, the adult and the child can jointly determine the activity that will become the child's contribution to the family business.

When assigning responsibilities, an adult should keep the following principles in mind.

Children should have not only responsibilities, but also rights. If these rights are violated by an adult, knowingly or under the influence of a momentary mood, then this can cause a feeling of depression and vindictiveness in the child, and he will resist any efforts to involve him in cooperation.

Children should be instructed about all types of work that need to be done. After, with the help of adults, they choose some kind of work, it is necessary to establish criteria for its quality and according to them already evaluate the work performed together with the children. Give your child the opportunity to choose the job they would like to do. (The "do nothing" alternative is not considered). After that, he must follow his choice, or the logical consequence of refusal comes. Discuss in advance the consequences of failing to complete an assignment.

Set appropriate deadlines for the assignment. The child will be more willing to complete the task if he participates in the adoption of these deadlines.

Change assignments.Doing the same task can get bored very easily. Children enjoy doing new or different jobs.

Use common sense when choosing the number of cases assigned to the child. If he thinks that he is being used, he may start a "sit-in".

Remember that you are the role model for your child. Do not expect neatness and order from him if you yourself are not able to maintain them.

Check your criteria. Perhaps you strive for excellence in the care of your home or classroom, or feel uncomfortable at the slightest deviation from routine, or you are too concerned about what other people might think.

Learn to view your home or classroom simply as a place for family or class members to work and communicate, rather than as a reflection of your personal importance. Never, except in extreme cases, do for the child what he can do himself.

Household responsibilities of a three-year-old

Collect and put toys in an appropriate place.

Put books and magazines on the shelf.

Take napkins, plates and cutlery to the table.

Remove the crumbs left after eating. Clear your seat at the table.

Simple hygiene procedures: brush your teeth, wash and dry your hands and face, comb your hair.

Undress yourself, get dressed with some help.

Wipe away the traces of "childish surprise".

Transfer the package with food or a jar of canned food from the package to the desired shelf. Put things away on the bottom shelf.

Household responsibilities of a four-year-old

Set the table, including good plates (with some help).

Help clean up groceries.

Assist with grocery shopping under close supervision.

Feed your pets on a schedule. Help clean up the garden and yard.

Help with making and cleaning the bed.

Help wash the dishes or load the dishwasher (with some help). Wipe the dust off furniture. Spread butter on bread. Prepare cold breakfasts (cereals, etc.)

Help put food on plates at family meals.

Help prepare a simple dessert (put a decoration on a cupcake, pour jam on top of ice cream, etc.)

Sharing toys with friends (courtesy practice).

Get mail from the mailbox.

Tell your parents where you will be when you leave the house to play.

Play in the house without the constant supervision of adults and without their constant attention.

Hang socks, handkerchiefs on a low-hanging clothesline.

Help fold towels.

Household responsibilities of a five year old child

Help plan food preparation and grocery shopping.

Make your own sandwich or a simple breakfast and clean up after yourself.

Pour yourself a drink. Serve the dining table. Pick up lettuce.

Add some ingredients according to the recipe.

Make and clean the bed and clean the room.

Dress and tidy up independently.

Clean the sink, toilet and bathroom.

Clean mirrors if they are low.

Sort the laundry for washing. Put white linen in one pile and colored linen in another.

Fold and remove clean laundry.

To answer phone calls.

Help with yard care.

Pay for small purchases.

Help wash the car.

Help take out the trash.

It is up to you to decide how you spend your share of the family's money for entertainment. Feed and clean up your pet. Tie your own shoe laces.

Household responsibilities for a 6 year old (1st grade)

Choose your own clothing for the weather or clothing that suits a particular occasion.

Vacuum the rugs.

Water flowers and plants.

Peel vegetables.

Prepare food that is easy to prepare (hot dogs, boiled eggs, toast).

Collect your school breakfast.

Help hang the laundry on the clothesline.

Hang your clothes in the wardrobe.

Collect wood for the fireplace, fire.

Rake leaves and weeds.

Walk pets.

Tie your shoelaces.

Take responsibility for your minor wounds.

Help clean the car interior.

Tidy up or clean the cutlery drawer.

Cover (serve) the table.

Household Responsibilities for a Seven Year Old (Grade 2)

Lubricate and care for your bike. Lock it in an appropriate place when not in use.

Receive phone messages and record them.

Wash the courtyard.

Be on parcels from parents.

Watering the lawn.

Watch out for bicycles and other toys or equipment in the yard.

Wash your dog or cat.

Train your pets.

Carry food bags.

Get up in the morning and go to bed on your own without being reminded.

Be polite, courteous, and respectful with others.

Carry breakfast money to school on your own.

Leave the bathroom in a proper state, hang clean towels.

Iron simple things.

Household responsibilities for an eight- and nine-year-old child (3rd grade)

Place napkins and cutlery correctly. Wash or mop the floor.

Help rearrange furniture, help plan furniture placement. Fill your bath yourself. Help others (if they ask) in their work. Tidy up your closets and drawers. Buying clothes and shoes for yourself with the help of parents, choosing clothes and shoes.

Change dirty school clothes for clean ones without reminder.

Folding blankets. Sew on buttons. Hang open seams. Clean the pantry.

Clean up after animals in the yard or in the house. Begin to get acquainted with recipes for cooking simple dishes and learn how to cook them. Cut flowers and prepare a flower vase. Collect fruits from trees.

Kindle Fire; cook everything you need for cooking over a fire (charcoal, food).

Painting a fence or shelves.

Write simple letters.

Write thank you cards.

Help defrost and clean the refrigerator.

Feed the baby.

Bathing your younger sister or brothers.

Polishing cutlery silver, copper or bronze.

Clean the furnishings of the courtyard. Polish furniture in the living room.

Household responsibilities for a nine- and ten-year-old child (4th grade)

Change bedding and put dirty laundry in the basket.

Know how to handle a washing machine and dryer.

Measure out washing powder and bleach.

Buy products from the list.

Cross the street on your own.

Come to appointments on your own (to the dentist, to school, etc., if it is within a bicycle ride distance).

Bake semi-finished biscuits in boxes.

Prepare food for the family.

Get your mail and reply to it.

Prepare tea, coffee or juice, pour into cups. Make a visit.

Be able to provide simple first aid.

Wash the family car.

Plan your birthday and other parties. Learn frugality and economy.

Household responsibilities for a ten- and eleven-year-old child (5th grade)

Earn money on your own (for example, sitting with children).

Do not be afraid to stay at home alone.

Dispose of some money responsibly.

Be able to ride a city bus.

Responsible for personal hobbies.

Household responsibilities for an eleven and twelve year old child (6th grade)

Be able to take on leadership responsibilities outside the home.

Help put little brothers or sisters to bed.

Clean the pool and the surrounding area.

Do your business independently. Mow the lawn.

Help the father with construction, crafts and household chores.

Clean the stove and oven.

To independently allocate time for study sessions.

Responsible for the delivery of the press.

Household responsibilities for high school students

On school days, going to bed at a certain time (by mutual agreement of children and parents).

Take responsibility for preparing meals for the family.

Have an idea of \u200b\u200ba healthy lifestyle: eat healthy food, maintain a correct weight, have regular medical examinations.

Anticipate the needs of others and take appropriate action.

Have a realistic view of the possibilities and limits of possibilities.

Consistently implement the decisions made.

Show mutual respect, loyalty and honesty in all relationships.

Make some money if possible.

Adapted from: Grunwald B., Maccabi G. Family counseling. M .: Kogito-Center, 2004.

Material of the magazine "Large family".

The responsibilities of children imposed by parents contribute to the development of such human characteristics as responsibility, ability to care, and independence.

Domestic feasible work is the best method of fostering many wonderful human qualities. There are no children who would not like to diligently help adults. You should never drive them away or convince them not to interfere. It is definitely recommended to approve child help. The child's household responsibilities should be considered a kind of "occupational therapy" that will help to successfully solve many problems, including the problem of developing perseverance, attentiveness, purposefulness, responsibility. When giving a child responsibilities, parental tolerance, indulgence and support are imperative. On the contrary, aggression and ridicule will completely discourage any desire to laboriously work.

A child's responsibilities at home may include:

cleaning toys;

cleaning dishes in the dishwasher or sink;

watering flowers;

helping mom in delivery of purchases from the store;

cleaning of clothes and shoes in place;

making the bed;

cleaning books and disks;

table setting;

feeding pets;

help in the garden;

help in washing dishes;

dusting;

making sandwiches;

hanging clean linen;

helping parents prepare food;

assistance in cleaning the apartment;

help in washing the car.

If a child is entrusted with housework, then parents should clearly follow the principle: never do for him what he is able to do himself.

Responsibilities of the child at home: what can you entrust to a child of 8-10 years old?

Should parents burden the child with household responsibilities? There is a point of view that this shortens the period of carefree childhood. Many parents are convinced that the training load is enough for children.

Nevertheless, family psychologists argue that the issue of the child's responsibilities at home must be resolved. By doing them, the child will feel urgently needed by loved ones, able to make a personal contribution to the well-being of the family. Children who do their assigned chores responsibly tend to do better at school and interact better with teachers. Without such training, the guys become consumers and in the future only strive to receive, without offering anything in return.

Even more dangerous is the situation when family methods of upbringing make children feel that, due to their exclusivity, everyone should serve them. Adults are able to come up with many things that a child can perform with great benefit for the family. If the situation is such that parents, who put a lot of effort, fail to teach the child to work, it makes sense to visit a psychologist.

Anastasia: Please tell us what your child has

do you have ongoing responsibilities around the house and at what age?

Mary Poppins: There are no permanent duties.

Feasible help around the house at my mother's and father's request.

It is not a duty. Not performed all the time.

SeVeRina10: Children often imitate adults, seeing that dad and mom are putting things in order, cleaning up after themselves, they themselves, it seems to me, will not leave dishes on the table, scatter their things, etc. simply because they see the parenting pattern and follow it. The child must have responsibilities. I am surprised by some statements about what is easier to do on my own than wasting nerves, fear of causing hostility to cleaning, often children in such families do not know what cleaning is at all, cannot serve themselves, children grow up lazy, especially boys. Children must be taught to do housework, self-service and respect for other people's work.

ValenTina: We are not a preschooler yet, but we already have some responsibilities.

1. Remove toys (somewhere from 1.5-1.8 years old)

2. fold your clothes (from about 2 years old)

And there are duties that he fulfills with great pleasure on his own initiative: he helps in various adult matters (when we are repairing something; after washing, he helps him with the laundry so that I can hang it; when guests come, he helps to set the table, and then helps to clean up dirty dishes on wash; serves something (a favorite is to bring clean pants when you need to change Masha and then take dirty ones to wash) And always helps to carry bags from the store.

I began to perform a lot of this from the age of three. Performs constantly.

Taisiya: Exactly duties, and even permanent ones, began to appear only now, from 4-4.5 years, moving to 5 years. Until the age of 4, the only compulsory procedure was the joint elementary cleaning of toys and other children's things. Now we are gradually expanding the circle, involving them in various household chores. For example, to clear the dishes from the table after him - the older brother clears the plates, and Tim collects the spoons and together they carry them into the dishwasher. Elementary help with cleaning - before washing the floors, we move furniture, Timur rearranges his toys. Every time from the store carries something (not heavy, of course) in a backpack. Those. there are no big specific responsibilities yet, but there is constant participation in some kind of work.

A schoolchild is already assigned a clear range of responsibilities: taking out the trash, going to the store, cleaning the room, caring for the aquarium. Recently I began to take the initiative in the kitchen - now he has a Saturday breakfast.

Ivanovna: my daughter had her own separate room when she was 8 years old, everything that was connected with cleaning, washing floors, washing windows, in her room, everything became smoothly her duty, aga-aga cleaning in the kitchen everyone must clean up after themselves, nothing dirty do not leave, if a common meal is usually dinner, someone clears the table, someone washes the dishes, but as that time did not coincide often the joint dinner aga-aga as I don’t remember that it was a duty to help around the house, it was by itself Of course, if you love order, you want it to be everywhere, and you do this not to help, but just want it to be clean and orderly.

TOPIC: Something strains me in the very wording of "duty", and what - I myself do not understand. I will say for sure: we do not have a strictly fixed "social activity". Somehow, in our family, relations are largely on an equal footing, taking into account, of course, the physical capabilities and authority of the parents. That is, everyone, as best they can, clean up things, toys, dishes, bed. But this is not something that is obliged, but - by itself: these are my things, I should clean up. If for some reason someone cannot, asks for another. Usually no problem. And as for washing the floor, dishes, etc. - does the one who: less loaded; less tired; I haven't done anything for a long time, and he usually knows it. In general, we live together, litter together, which means that anyone can clean up, and not as a favor / compulsion / punishment.

Shumilka: Mine (7 years and 4 years old) do a lot of things: clean up, vacuum, load and unload the dishwasher, wash and hang their clothes, babysit my sister, shop while I am standing on the street with a stroller. They cook a lot of things (hot sandwiches, vegetable and fruit salads, puff pastry pies). I actively taught them last summer, because the birth was approaching and the nanny quit. In principle, each of the children spends no more than 40 minutes a day on household chores. It's not tense.

Paulinka: Daughter's responsibilities:

2) hang clothes on a hook, put shoes on a shelf

3) fold clothes neatly into the dresser

4) clean up toys after play

5) wash and brush your teeth after waking up and before bed

6) bring the younger a pot at his first request (he addresses this question with her) aga-aga

7) tell me about what the younger is doing if I'm not in the same room with them.

mother @ -romash @: Probably I'm some kind of "directing mom", but rather we have a "wrong dad". Now (almost 6 years old) my son washes dishes, sweeps and mops the floor, of course not always, but periodically. Dad teaches this mainly. Sonulya makes his bed (even without questions throughout the year), lays the table, clears the table, goes to the store (in our house) always with great pleasure. Thus, in childhood, dad was taught to work. But now I am not overjoyed. But they didn’t teach me that much, or rather, they always said you didn’t wash it like that, you didn’t wipe it like that, you didn’t iron it like that ... After that the desire to do something around the house disappeared completely. I think that the child's initiative should be supported, praised (if something is wrong, it can be changed), but the child will not lose the desire to help his parents, he realizes that he can do something and is very proud of it. After all, all children want to become big as soon as possible, and by doing adult work, they themselves become a little more mature in their own eyes. The most interesting thing is that the son has enough time to play, and take a walk, and read, and watch cartoons. He is not devoid of any childish joys! Maybe not in the subject, but it seems to me that this also contributes to the development of the child. Sometimes you look, children at the age of 8-9 are told every time "you are still small", and then they wonder why such infantilism comes from and are tormented by the question of how to teach a child to be independent?

Compilation made by Topolek

A list of household chores for children of different ages, borrowed with some changes and additions from the book "Family Counseling".
Many parents often ask one question that worries them: "Should children help them?"
At the same time, most of the parenting staff is convinced that children should not be overloaded with household chores. They are convinced that the joy of childhood will not be complete if the child has a wide range of household responsibilities. Often, when coming for a consultation with a psychologist, parents are sure that for his child, there are enough classes in the school curriculum and this suits many.
But psychologists are sure that feasible and not burdensome household chores help the child feel needed and a full member of the family and he can supplement family well-being by his own investment of labor, which does not take away from him his happy childhood.
Children with household chores and assignments usually have no problems at school with peers and educators. Children deprived of the right to work in the family grow up as consumers constantly waiting for life or other people to bring them everything ready on a platter with a blue border. Such children can feel like full-fledged members of society only when they are surrounded by service personnel.
A child may well independently cope with a huge bunch of important things that adults can provide him with and those that will bring invaluable benefits to the family. Adults do not always know what household chores and tasks can be given to a child, with which he will cope well. Here is some age classification of household chores.

Instructions for a 3-year-old child:

carefully place the scattered toys in a box intended for storing them;
put books and brochures in their place;
bring kitchen utensils and tea towels to the table;
perform morning toilet routine and style your hair;
undress and dress with little parental support;
help arrange light food at the bottom of the refrigerator and place your clothes on a shelf that is located within its reach.

Homework assignments for a 4-year-old child:

set the table and use good and solid dishes for this;
clean up bakery products in the bread bin;
in the store, the child can be allowed to form a grocery basket for dinner;
entrust to feed pets in a specially designated time;
collect fallen leaves in the garden, sweep in the yard and pick fruits and vegetables in the country, under the supervision of adults;
cover with a bedspread in the morning, and spread your bed in the evening;
wash dirty dishes or put them in the dishwasher with mom;
brush off dust;
apply butter to the bun;
pour milk over the flakes;
participate in decorating cakes and pies. Lay flowers from marmalade on them or grease the cakes with boiled condensed milk;
allow other children to use their toys;
retrieve correspondence from the mailbox;
play independently without involving adults in the game;
place wet small items on the dryer;
gently roll up the towels.

Homework assignments for a 5-year-old child:

participate in the preparation of the menu and planning of purchases;
makes canapes or simple sandwiches without any problems;
after eating, clean the dining area;
provide yourself with cold drinks and water;
set the table;
pick off greens from the beds without roots;
introduces the necessary components into the dough;
keep your sleeping place and room in order;
fold clothes and take off things without assistance;
keep items in the bathroom and toilet clean;
clean mirrors;
load the laundry into the wash, dividing by color;
clean up and put laundry;
answer the phone;
do indoor cleaning;
deposit money in the cashier when buying a small volume;
to rub glass in a car;
take out the trash can;
make decisions on how the family's savings can be used for recreation;
clean up in a living corner;
tie the laces to the bows.

Household responsibilities for a 6 year old (first grader):

make up your wardrobe for a special occasion and during precipitation;
clean the carpet with a vacuum cleaner;
irrigate indoor plants; flowers in the garden;
peel root crops;
to cook simple hot dishes (omelet and potatoes in "uniform");
prepare school supplies without reminder and put them in a portfolio;
participate in hanging wet clothes;
clean up things in the dressing room;
bring dry branches for a fire;
use garden tools (rakes, brooms);
weed the beds;
walking with a four-legged friend;
takes out the trash can;
clean up the kitchen table;
serve on the table;

Homework assignments for a 7-year-old child (second grader):

keep the bike in working order and store it in the right place;
conduct telephone conversations;
carry out minor assignments of parents;
monitor the pet;
train four-legged friends;
carry bags with things to the right place;
in the evening, at the allotted hours, go to bed and get up in the morning, at a certain time;
speak politely when talking with elders;
clean up the restroom and bathroom after visiting these places;
iron your clothes.

Household responsibilities for a child of eight and nine years of age (third grader):

beautifully fold napkins and properly lay out cutlery;
vacuuming and washing floor coverings;
participate in the planning of furniture in your room and help your father, move furniture items;
prepare yourself a bath;
provide the necessary assistance to family members;
keep your wardrobe and desk in order;
when purchasing clothes, express your preferences and wishes;
change bed and underwear on time;
tuck the blanket into the duvet cover;
sew up small areas of damaged clothing;
maintain cleanliness and order in the pantry;
clean cages and feed domestic animals;
learn to use recipes and try to cook;
beautifully form bouquets and place them in a vase of water;
harvest in the garden;
know how to make a fire and know fire prevention measures;
bake potatoes on your own in a fire or fry a sausage on a skewer;
paint small surfaces;
write letters correctly;
compose the text of the greeting card;
feed the youngest child;
help redeem younger children;
apply polish to furniture sets.

Household responsibilities of a child who entered 4th grade:

remove bedding on your own and take them to the designated place;
correctly turn on and off household appliances;
dose powder for washing;
make a list and plan grocery purchases;
cross the road in the right places;
not be late for a meeting with classmates and other people, using a bicycle or reaching the desired meeting place, on foot;
bake simple confectionery semi-finished products;
prepare a simple dinner for all household members;
use the Internet and correspond with classmates;
set the table for evening tea;
invite guests and make a return visit to them;
prepare a script for the holidays;
be able to provide the necessary first aid;
clean the family's car;
be frugal and be able to save.

Household chores for a fifth grader:

be able to earn pocket money;
stay at home without adult supervision;
be able not to "squander" money and wisely dispose of pocket savings;
use public transport;
have your good habits and hobbies.

Household chores for a sixth grader:

be able to shift the responsibilities of the household onto yourself;
pack and read bedtime stories to younger children;
fulfill their direct responsibilities at home;
take care of plants in the garden;
help as much as possible on a construction site and repair equipment;
clean kitchen utensils and household appliances;
plan study and free time.

Household responsibilities of high school students:

go to bed at the allotted and set time;
prepares a complete meal for all family members;
lead a healthy lifestyle (neither drink nor smoke, go to medical examinations);
take into account the wishes of all family members and make responsible decisions if necessary;
weighed needs with possibilities;
do not jump from one case to another, be consistent;
show courtesy and respect for elders;
be able to earn pocket money with your work.