Hello, you know, I don’t want to live anymore. Nobody needs me. Even to my parents. I don’t feel their love for myself. They generally do not care about my feelings. I am a good student at school, but this is not enough for my parents. Thoughts of suicide began to pursue me as early as 13 years old. I don’t understand how I didn’t die in these 2 years. I cook poorly and my dad constantly yells at me because of this. In his opinion, I do not clean the house well. I really try to do everything well, but he doesn’t like it. If he finds even one speck of dust, he starts yelling at me, he can hit with all his might, and after that he will force everyone to remove the stuff. When I am sick, no one even hugs me, does not say a good word. There are three children in the family, but this attitude is only towards me. My sister is 7 years younger than me and my brother is 2 years older than me. My younger sister tells me directly that she does not need me. My elder brother scoffs at me, and when I cry, he does everything to make me cry even harder. At school, they also treat me badly due to the fact that I started to get involved in anime. Although such an attitude of people towards me since the kindergarten. My family believes in God. Mom very often goes to church sometimes and leads me there. But I no longer believe in God. I even became, in a sense, a Satanist. But I still have a slight desire to believe again. But it will work out, because when I go to church I feel like a zombie. I have no friends. There is one person in VK who is dear to me. I very often sit at the computer or on the phone, which infuriates my dad very much. He constantly says that he will break the computer and throw my phone out. Although they do not know that only there is a person dear to me. Parents do not want to listen to me, and if I say something across their words then they will start shouting at me and dad can hit me at all. They constantly call me a fool, an idiot, a dumb, dad does mother me at all. They do not care about my feelings. They don’t know me at all. My orientation has changed to bi. I began to hate people. I dream where I walk on the corpses of people or where they die in agony, it even began to amuse me. Sometimes it happens that I want to poke my eyes out or break my fingers. But I don’t want to go to the orphanage, I don’t want to spoil the life of my parents, brother and sister. I don’t want to live at all. They kill me the last desire to live. Please help me. I want a normal life.
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Maria, age: 12/15/2014
Feedback:
Maria, maybe you think your parents don’t love you, especially since they are Orthodox.
The fact that you dream of horrors is probably affected by games and films. And the fact that you go to the temple is just smart, you have to go through I don’t want and I can’t, and only then, seeing your zeal, the Lord will help you.
Be patient a little, you must definitely learn and go somewhere, to be independent you must have a profession.
I wish you great patience, endurance and peace of mind.
God bless you!
Lyudmila, age: 53 / 29.12.2014
Hello, Maria.
Why did you lose faith in God, what are the reasons for this? Even science now speaks of the Creator, because without a higher intellect our world could not exist. You are not so bad, you are healthy, you have mom and dad, home, food, clothes, a computer and other equipment, etc. You know, many of them are deprived of all this, shouldn't you thank God that you have it. Brother and sister in later life, will be your support, try to show your love for them, you will see how your relationship will change. Don’t be offended by dad, he’s even rude to you, but he loves you very much and is worried about your future, and there’s no use in sitting at the monitor, only harm. It’s better to sign up for a section, such as dancing, you’ll be a bride to grab) Yes, and it’s better not to watch the anime, your bi orientation has appeared, from there.
Alexander, age: 12/20/2014
Hello Mashenka. I understand what children's loneliness is. Let's think about how to improve the situation. You study well at school - this is your ticket to life, try to finish school well. You already need to choose a profession to choose the subjects that you will hand over. Do not waste time and study them yourself so that you have a goal and then have a favorite job. Rather, classmates do not like you because you study well. Sometimes it happens envy. Your sister is 8 years old and she doesn’t realize what she’s saying. But if you help her a little in the lessons, you can put her to your place, but also leave time for your studies. Masha is God, he is perfect, but people unfortunately don’t, that’s the thing. You have a friend on the Internet, but be careful, udos make sure that this is a good person. If dad is angry about the computer, ask how much time you can work with the computer. Don’t argue with your parents, it’s useless if you need something better. Masha be patient you will soon grow up and you will have your own life .Unfortunately, it is often difficult for us, everyone has their own pain and I have it, although I’m much older than you. I tell myself every morning that I love life, despite the difficulties, I try to notice little things: a ray of sunshine, fluffy snow, a thick crow . Masha, be a wise girl, wait and everything will work out. All the best to you.
Marina, age: 42 / 29.12.2014
Mash, is all this happening for no reason? Maybe you can change something? Why are parents yelling at you, well, not just like that. Maybe you should just talk frankly with them about problems? They can’t just yell at you. Even so, you should not hate people, this will only make you worse. Try to understand them, and then you will not become angry with them. After all, it’s stupid to spoil your nervous system only because people are what they are. Try to make friends, make peace with brother and sister, because they are not animals. Good luck, Mash.
alextim, age: 02/16/2015
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Vladimir Pozner said: "I don’t understand at all how one can not want to work at 55."
But I don’t understand how you can even want to work ?!
I didn’t want to work at 20, or at 30, not at 40, or at 55, and now I don’t want to.
I note that I almost always succeeded! Either an academic sinecure with one “sitting out” a week (and he skipped), then top-level posts traveling around the islands instead of an office, or TV shows with one shooting day a month ... In the 80s, in order not to sit down for parasitism, was a mysterious “The trade union committee of writers,” and then there was no need to hide.
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I'm retired now. And it turns out not very fair: these penniless amounts are received both by those who have worked hard all their lives, and those who, like me, have burned this life and enjoyed it. And only apparatchiks and garbage receive large payments - but I don’t envy them either.
In my opinion, the only right way out is to simply stop going to work. Stop car. As Petya Mamonov advised in the song "Leisure Boogie": "I quit my job because I was tired." What is the difference? Salary is a trifle, pension is pooh! Let Vladimir Pozner, who really wants to, work.
And imagine: one fine (indeed, wonderful!) Day, millions of Russians and Russians of middle and pre-retirement age, instead of jerking under an alarm clock, will bask in bed and sniff sweetly: “And you all went! ..”
This is the only way to overcome this deception - both in yourself and above.
I must admit that the older I get, the more I don’t understand.
For example, I don’t understand how people ride in branded passenger trains if for eleven days tickets for them are not sold at any ticket office, and in ten days all tickets at these ticket offices have already been sold?
I also don’t understand where we are going to get all the shoes we have released.
I don’t understand why, after staff reductions, the number of employees in institutions is increasing?
I don’t understand - even in one country, women complain at the same time that there are no products and that they cannot lose weight?
And when I look at the younger generation, I don’t understand how many old people in the twenty-first century will tell their grandchildren: “When we were young, we sang decent songs, Heavy Metal.”
I also do not understand many of our names. For example, what is the name of the candy - "Radium"? Or the Othello Cake ?! And the Komsomol gingerbread cookies? Can they be bitten only at the Komsomol age? And I don’t understand what smell the Sportclub cologne should have?
But this is far from all that I do not understand. Sometimes I don’t understand what it is generally better to whisper about.
For example, I do not understand why the proletariat is considered the hegemon in our country, while the hegemon is the service sector in our country. And the farther, the hegemonic!
And I don’t understand why we should all be reconstructed? Those who worked poorly, I understand, should work well. And who worked well? Should it work bad now?
And I just can’t understand why people always suffer from those decrees that are issued for their sake? And those against whom these decisions are directed, live even better?
By the way, I don’t understand, is it possible in our time to say what I say or not? I don’t understand at all, does anyone understand what can be said nowadays and what cannot be said?
I sincerely wanted to understand, I started watching TV, listening to the speeches of local leaders on it, but I also didn’t understand anything, because they say through a word: “so to speak”, “in general” and “somewhere”. But I don’t understand what it means: “socialism, so to speak”, “in general, perestroika” and “publicity somewhere” ... I understand that somewhere it is, but where?
I also did not understand how people who speak illiterate can work as local leaders, despite the fact that they call themselves faithful Leninists. I don’t understand what the phrase “faithful Leninist” means. I understand this: if a person is Leninist, then, then, is already faithful. And if they say: “faithful Leninist”, they mean that somewhere there is an infidel Leninist, and who do they mean, I did not understand?
Plus, after watching a lot of programs, I did not understand, do they really want to organize cooperatives here? Or is it such a rogue campaign?
In a word, I understood one thing: if I understood what I was talking about, it would be better to be silent. But since I do not understand, I can say. But just in case, still in a whisper.
I do not understand why a union is needed? No, I understand that we need a union that protects the interests of workers. But I do not understand why we need a union that protects its interests from workers.
And I do not understand what the Komsomol is doing? And I don’t understand, they themselves understand what they are doing? And I really don’t understand why one comrade from the Komsomol came up with a proposal to issue a resolution to combat window dressing? Doesn’t he understand what, after the decree on combating window dressing, the window dressing for combating window dressing will unfold?
I do not understand anything in our national economy! For example, I don’t understand why social competition is good? And how can the conveyor for the production of socks on the right foot compete with the conveyor for the production of socks on the left foot ?!
And I do not understand why overfulfillment of the plan strengthens our economy? And what to do with door handles if they are released three times as many as doors? You can, of course, put them on pots. Maybe that’s why we sometimes buy washing machines with aircraft engines, which, when you turn on, the feeling that you are angry; vacuum cleaners in cases from armor-piercing shells; briefcases with locks from the sheds ... And recently, they say, one factory produced kettles with police whistles. Now those who have cars, in the mornings, when the kettle begins to boil, they take out the dandruff half asleep.
And I don’t understand how one of our automobile plants came up with the slogan: "We will become trendsetters in the global automotive industry!" While at the last international exhibition at their latest model, visitors hung a poster: "You would have put up a horse!" By the way, I don’t understand many of our slogans. For example, what is this slogan: "Perestroika is inevitable!" Is that a punishment ?!
And now in a whisper, to be heard only by those who agree with me. I don’t understand why I should vote at the place of residence for the one I choose at the place of work ... I don’t understand why in our country the restructuring is carried out by people who brought the country to the restructuring?
I also don’t understand, maybe it’s good that I don’t understand all this ?! After all, whoever you talk to, they also do not understand this. Or they understand that this is better not to understand. That's when you understand how many people understand that it’s better not to understand, it becomes clear where we have so much incomprehensible from!
One of the most popular Russian actresses, Lyubov Aksenova, told OK! about self-love, self-experimentation and family life.
Photo: Vladimir Vasilchikov
While I was preparing to meet with Lyuba, I read several of her interviews. The sensations were as if grabbing hands with air. In Batumi there is a movable sculpture "Ali and Nino" by Tamara Kvesitadze - two figures that pass through each other. So Lyuba, it seems, is open to journalists, answers any questions, and as a result you go through and through, without knowing anything concrete about her, except for the formal “born-studied-married”. I read this time after time: “Actress Lyubov Aksyonova was born (it was always“ born ”, not“ born ”) in the family of a military man and a pharmacist, she went to college, got married and has been working all the time” .
And it seems that in her happy life, full of interesting projects and talented colleagues, there were no mistakes, no bad habits, or unhappy love.
Lyuba, honestly, are you an agent and gave a non-disclosure subscription?
They just didn’t ask such questions. It’s true that I don’t like to name someone’s names because I don’t know if a person will like it or not. I tell exclusively from myself, about my feelings and events from life. And I had bad habits. For example, at the institute I smoked. I had such a period of my life when I tried a lot. I began to go to clubs.
And what, let? You now look at 15, and then - I can’t even imagine.
I went on lists or with someone who could guide me. Then, in college, I tried different types of alcohol. Once I got drunk to unconsciousness. At a friend's party, she began to drink shots of juice with juice, but it turned out there was a cocktail in a glass. And I drank it all. And then I wake up - my head hurts, I don’t remember anything, but I have to go to college to dance ...
Have a walk?
No, I got up and went. But it was hard. And I also found that my hands are all drawn with a pen, and Homer Simpson is “full” on the biceps. ( Laughs.) And for the dance you need to wear a special body with a deep neckline. I borrowed some kind of cloak from my girlfriend, but I still saw everything. Then they joked: “Well, did you hang out?”
And when else to gain experience for large roles, if not at the institute?
For myself, I realized that the experience is different. For example, for me, getting drunk like this was something out of the ordinary, and someone could afford much more. Now I’m interested in experimenting differently - representing myself as different people in a given situation. As it turned out, there is such an acting practice, but at first I did not know about it and my husband and I came up with it ourselves. They sketched some ideas and thought it would be great to spend Character Day. For example, I came in the form of a girl who does not like everything, in a restaurant and arranged a rout there. I started to scream, went out to strong emotions and at the same time watched how my body behaved, how my voice, expression changed. It is interesting that you start to think differently. You build a phrase differently.
Did you take a support group with you?
No, I am alone.
And now you continue to rage in restaurants?
Now it’s more difficult because they recognize me. There was such a case. People started laughing because they understood what was happening. I think they initially recognized me, even before I started cursing.
In addition to the Moscow bitch, in what image was she?
I was still a student who fights for justice in the mail. I stood up for someone and started shouting that he was being treated unfairly. I also had a lyrical heroine who came to the restaurant and did not know what to choose.
Is this unusual for you?
I think that anyway, I always pull out some facets of myself.
And scandalous?
If I went out to her, then somewhere she is in me. Everything seems to be in us. We just use something, but not something.
We ourselves think up how we communicate with this world, agree, a certain image of ourselves, and so we live. All in images.
But in the process of the experiment, you are not you, you need to remember this and be able to reset it. "Divide and rule".
I know that you are very seriously preparing for roles - you keep diaries and walk around dressed in the city. How did you prepare for the role in the film “Without Me”?
I play a man who is left alone. My heroine Ksyusha is losing her beloved man, and there is no one who could replace him. Without him, Ksyusha feels vulnerable, inferior, incomplete. I have never had such an experience. There was always dad, mom, then friends, young people, then friends again. Then I met my husband, we got married, and now for the seventh year we have been living together.
And you…
(Laughs.) I agreed with my husband about traveling for a while. It was a very interesting experiment, because for these seven years, it seems, there was not a day when we did not communicate, did not call up, did not write off. I did not believe in such stories before, but this is exactly what happened here. We were together almost from the first day of meeting and almost immediately ...
... he moved to you with a suitcase.
I am to him. And somehow even without a suitcase. We just like two streams flocked to the same river and were inseparable. And these things somehow got over themselves. And the place itself was organized. And the ring was on the finger. Surprisingly, nothing has changed much since then - this is my sincere joy. And here such a scenario comes to me. I start working on it and don’t understand how it is to be alone. I talked with Pasha, and he surprisingly easily agreed that yes, come on, this will be an interesting experience.
What exactly did you offer him?
Run over. Him from me. I wanted his things to be next to me. Because if I left alone, there would not be all that reminded me of him.
What was his first reaction?
Was silent for a while. Then he said: “Well, if you think what you need, it will also be interesting for me to live like this.” By the way, another of my experiences at that moment: “What if I like it? What if he likes it? What if you don’t manage to sadly spend this time? What if I start having fun? ” There was a risk.
He rented an apartment - I didn’t know where, but it already didn’t matter. We agreed for a month with the right to call if something happens or I understand that it is time to finish. And we did not communicate. I tried it on to my heroine: how is it, if there is no way to call, write? Or I'll call, and there the phone is disconnected. Or an answering machine. I went to places where we used to be together. I was searching for. Moreover, this happened involuntarily.
Just at some point you catch yourself on the fact that you are looking for a person, you wait in the evenings: maybe he will come?
And how were these two weeks given to my husband?
It's hard too. But he endured very courageously.
Lyuba, tell me why girls-musicians, like yours, Ksenia, are always made tender and fragile? Have you ever seen female students at the conservatory?
If you watched a movie, you noticed that Ksenia really has to fight for what she needs. Yes, it is soft, it is written in the script, but in the end it grows into another person. The death of Dima (the character played by Rinal Mukhamedov) and the route that he designed for her changes her. If not for this, Ksenia would never have been able to withstand such a strong character as Kira, would not scream at her, would not climb into the water, not knowing how to swim, and would not roll moonshine from the bottle. As for her musical education, it seems to me that musicians see the world in a completely different way. Perceived by his tunes. Ksenia wrote music. This is her way of expression, which she once refused. What will bring her inspiration back? The whole story, in my opinion, is about how to love yourself.
Honestly, unexpectedly.
Well look. She does not perceive herself separately from a loved one. He is not - she is not. She does not have her own inner “I” —that is, she is, but she does not hear him — which would tell her: “Go. Do it. Write music, etc. ” Once she was hurt, and she closed herself in, scared. I think this is familiar to many. And here she is placed in such conditions that she has to do things. And she begins to listen to herself and feel real.
Especially for the movie, you took music lessons, right?
I studied with Artyom Mikhenkin, who wrote music for the film. He taught me to play "with hands." In parallel with the preparation for “Without Me”, I had other shootings in Minsk. There I found a music school. I called there, explained that I needed a tool and time - in fact, nothing more. My phone had all the notes: what the right hand does, what the left does. Rather, I was engaged in acting imitation - I learned to put my fingers correctly so that they are soft, plastic.
How did it happen that you did not make music in your childhood? A music school, ballroom dancing and English are a must do in raising girls.
I practiced ballroom dancing until I was ten years old. Then I did not like it, and I began to spend a lot of time on lessons. I had a language school, the load was big, it was not easy to learn. My hobby since I was seven years old was skiing. As a result, I switched to snowblades - short high-speed skis without sticks. I still love them.
So are you extreme?
I like skiing, but I don’t ride on the black tracks where my brother rides. He is an extreme, snowboarder and ... linguist. Dania helps me translate and put the pronunciation. Now I will have a project where there are several scenes in French, and it will help me.
Polina Maximova, who played your opponent, the role is more characteristic, more spectacular. Do not you envy?
Not. I tried on both. And after the tests there was still a meeting with Cyril, and it so happened that we said in one voice: "Still, Ksyusha." At that moment, I just ended the “Former”. I missed something so lyrical. I wanted to play a delicate, vulnerable nature that overcomes itself. I look at the roles in the context of “what is laid in it?” what is the meaning of the character in the story? ”
Lyuba, is there everlasting love?
Yes. In my opinion, yes. But everyone so differently perceives the word "love."
This is actually your name ...
(Laughs) In the film, I wanted to show not dependence, love, but something more. Such a feeling that you can feel for a child, for a husband, for mom, for yourself as well. That's what I laid here.
We talked about high things, now let's talk about fun and earthly things - about your interview for the vDud program, in which you discussed your participation in explicit scenes. So you easily agree to play sex, you easily talk about it, but at the same time you look like you are drinking tea with an English queen. Are you not bashful or is it professional?
The main thing is to think about the task. At some point, I began to understand how important it is to feel comfortable in front of the camera, no matter what form you are - naked or dressed, it does not matter. And even if you need to play a person who is very shy, you still have to be calm inside. When I had my first shootings (in “Stories”), there was a lot of doubt: whether I am doing what, and what, and how, how my husband will look like my mother ...
Then I thought: “I'm doing business, and all these doubts prevent me from doing what I came here for.”
I play a scene, but I can’t remember the text, I’m worried, see or not see. The same affects the quality. On how I will show this person in detail and reliably. ”
Your approach is interesting: something is in the way - to remove. Shame interferes - remove. Husband interferes - let him live a month in a rented apartment ...
The experiments that I carry out on myself are, of course, cool. And with my husband I was lucky in this regard. I come to him and say: “What if you do it how would you react?” I try to be frank with him.
I think this is from a lack of adrenaline.
I just really love my job, I love what I do. And I was always interested in psychology. If I hadn’t become an actress, I probably would have gone to a psychologist to study.
In the meantime, I am engaged in self-training: I read a lot, go to some lectures or listen to the Internet. I have a familiar psychologist. I come to her and ask all sorts of questions. From the outside, it probably looks strange. Because it’s not she who works with me, but rather I interview her. I ask: “And if so, what will happen?” How will he react? ” I show her the script - it’s interesting to me both in life and in work. In addition, I work with an acting coach.
Why do you say "coach" and not "teacher"?
A coach is like a coach. But you can say the teacher.
You use a lot of specific words: effective - inefficient, upgrade skills, reboot, broadcast. This is a modern language, and, it seems to me, a little from another world. Do your fellow actors speak this language? Does Pletnev say that?
No, it does not seem to say. We speak the language with the coach. His name is Vlad Motashnev. He is an actor, director and, as it turned out, my partner friend. A man who understands me well. We meet as friends, and we work on roles. Now we are rehearsing poems with him for the musical-poetic performance #HUMPY AGREEMENTS. We will play on October 18 at the CC Moskvich.
Are you paying him?
Yes. And to the psychologist too. I pay a lot for my education.
I saw few actors from 30 and older who would aim to continue to learn by profession. What does it mean to pump skills?
Classes with a coach are not for those who have come from scratch, but something like advanced training. The coach knows exercises and techniques that I did not study at the institute. For example, I once read a book by Ivana Chubbak. The book seemed entertaining to me, but I did not understand how to apply all this. I wrote to Ivana - she answered me: “Come.” I came to Los Angeles to study in her studio and took two classes from her. She went on stage twice a week, showed her passage and rehearsed every day. I watched it, tried it - it’s interesting, I haven’t seen it at the institute, I’ll take it, but I already did it. As she returned, she began to practice with a coach. So I keep myself in good shape, learn new things and try to develop.
Admit you just like to teachshit!
Yes! And it does not seem to me that I am doing something out of the ordinary.
It’s normal to develop in the business that you have chosen for yourself. And as a person, of course, too.
Recently, I advise everyone to the book “Say Yes to Life!” Victor Frankl, a psychologist who went through a concentration camp. From the research position of a psychologist, he describes what was happening in the concentration camp and the force that helps people live through terrible times. This is unbelievable. There is another book by Jung's follower, Gene Shinoda Bohlen, “Goddesses in Every Woman.” It is about the fact that in every woman the archetypes of all goddesses are embedded and at different times they all manifest themselves in different ways. Someone more, someone less. I think this book can help a woman better understand her extraordinary nature.
And what kind of goddess are you?
I have not yet identified myself. There is a whole system there, and you need to observe yourself, who, when appears in you.
Do you ever ever relax, leave your own observation?
There are days when I stay at home, turn off the phone (try, at least) and just watch a movie. In the summer, you can still cut the watermelon in half and eat it with a spoon. And feed from the dog’s hands. I have a toy terrier. They say the owners are like a dog, and the dog is like the owners. Ours, apparently, feels that we are not eating meat. She has two bowls: one with vegetables and fruits, the other with her dog food. And more often than not, the one with fruit. Sometimes we pour juice to her. Orange. She asks.
And when there is a child, will you also drink orange juice right away?
No, he will have the right feeding! ( Laughs.)
Text: Julia Sonina Photo: Vladimir Vasilchikov. Style: Irina Svistushkina. Makeup: Cyril Shabalin / YSL Beaute. Hairstyles: Love Frolova / Redken
“I want us to think over a complex of measures from preventive to administrative on work with pedestrians,” said on February 10 at a meeting of the commission under the head of the republic on improving road safety. - Look at what is happening here, why pedestrians cross roads in unnecessary places. What is this lack of responsibility?
After that, he cited parental irresponsibility as an example - the child is being led in the wrong place to cross the road.
I am especially indignant when a mother walks and drags a five-year-old child in the wrong place through a busy road. I don’t understand how this can be regarded at all. Here it’s time to invite other bodies that control the attitude to childhood, and bring to justice, ”blurted out the head of Buryatia.
When asked about how many people have already been held accountable, the speakers named the figure of 10 thousand - that is how many pedestrians in Buryatia have already been punished with a ruble for violating traffic rules. On average, fines for pedestrians are 500 rubles.
This answer outraged the head of the republic. In his opinion, this is not an effective measure for violators and it is necessary to bring them to justice to the “fullest extent”.
Well, why are they still not afraid of you anyway? What's the matter, why cross? What, small fines, or something else? - Vyacheslav Nagovitsyn asked questions and immediately gave an order. - Come out with a proposal, we will consider an increase in the fine at the legislature. Let them know that crossing the road in the wrong place is more expensive for themselves and once again think about whether to do it.
At the same time, attracting administrative responsibility for crossing the road in the wrong place, many factors must be taken into account.
Different fines are needed, because it’s not in vain that I told a story with a child. There must be aggravating circumstances. If you cross the road and risk yourself, then write a fine as one person. But when you risk someone else's life, then there is an aggravating condition, and there is already a threefold and fourfold fine. Especially if you have a child with you who does not understand what they are doing to him and where he is being dragged, ”the head of Buryatia emphasized.
Transport Minister Sergei Kozlov said that for road safety on the republic’s roads, fences are installed that prevent pedestrians from crossing the road in the wrong place.
However, the head of the republic abruptly interrupted the minister’s remark, saying that all this is being done from "powerlessness."
You will not do along the entire road. Here abroad, these fences are nowhere to be found, and no one enters the roadway there. We write and talk about it, but people still go, so we need to take action, ”concluded Vyacheslav Nagovitsyn.
