I can tell you my story in a piggy bank. I have a “light” option because it was a damn break through years ago (before the Chechen war) and the guy was a Belarus mum, a half-Tatar half-Chechen was a dad, he lived in Dushanbe, which at that time was quite a “white” city , and even we were a little old. Therefore, I have already forgotten.
Nevertheless, the scheme is the same. The guy is handsome, courted wonderfully beautifully, immediately introduced him to his parents and brought him to live in general and represented almost as a bride (we met on an expedition). I got a little fucked up - shozafignya, but I, as it were, just like that, as part of a spa romance, and did not give much reason. But ... people safely drove off on duty (at a weather station, for a couple of weeks), left me to live at home (???) and pre-handed over my ticket for a somolet home - they say you won’t leave anywhere. Maybe you remember how then it was “easy” to buy a plane ticket. I was sitting in confusion when his mother approached me (remember, yes, that he lived with his parents?). Grit, and what are your plans and what’s going on. I - ??? She - are you going to get married?
I - ??? And then they say, the father is strict, asks, what kind of girl is she and what is she doing here. I - yes, we all met in a sports expedition, well, as if they had started a romance, but nothing serious, and I came to see the city in general, and he offered to stay with him. what bride, what are you? She: because he has a girlfriend (say, Sveta), he lives in the suburbs, they’ve been dating for a couple of years, and if you don’t know, we have Asia and this is very strict: if a guy meets a girl, but he doesn’t marries - then she is considered disgraced and she will be perceived as ... walking.
I got really fucked up - gru: yes, I have nothing to do with it, I’m not me and not my hut, I want to go home, but he handed over my tickets and left. She shuddered - well, well, you won’t get through to him, but you decide. I vowed to swear to the blame immediately, I asked in no case to tell anyone from the neighbors and so on - although I was introduced to all the neighbors ... I urgently called his friends. He had excellent friends: former classmates, a true “youth international”: one Russian, one Tajik (very intelligent), a Jew, a Tatar ... in general, a motley horde, but the guys are great. They gathered advice, decided that the name is a good guy and a good guy, he seems to have a girlfriend, but they do not know much about her (what for a girl whom she has been dating for a couple of years?), And they will help me get to the house . One just drove the trucks to Tyumen, and with them I got to Chelyabinsk (also an adventure!), And from there it was already easier to get home. Well, at least my friends have come across such ... real friends.
But as it turned out - national signs are evident.

“When we poured the clandestine wine into the toilet, it turned acid pink”

October 5, Ramzan Kadyrov turns 40 years old. On the eve of the anniversary, the newly elected head of the Chechen Republic called it “the most stable region” in Europe.

Our special correspondent studied the secret life of the capital of Chechnya, Grozny, having visited a secret liquor store, a nightclub and found out the peculiarities of local gender relations.

One of the main achievements of the hero of the day was the Prohibition introduced by him seven years ago, which is stricter than Mikhail Gorbachev established in 1985 for the entire USSR. There are only a few shops throughout Chechnya where alcohol is sold strictly from 8 a.m. to 10 a.m. Still, you can drink here at night, but you can’t raise a toast to the birthday man's health.

“Do not look into the eyes”

Do not look into the eyes, - the warm-hearted Chechen Rustam advised me with a beard “under Ramzan” at the entrance to the post-war symbol of the republic - the Grozny-City high-rise. On the upper floors of these towers - the only place in the whole republic where they legally sell alcohol not in the morning, but in the afternoon and evening. They don’t pour it at night anymore: the restaurant closes at exactly midnight.

This was arranged for visitors so that Chechnya would give the impression of a modern, hospitable subject, living like all of Russia, ”my guide explained. - There are their own laws. Observe them and make a good impression on the locals.

The symbol of the restored republic is the Grozny-City skyscraper.

Most of all, of course, for women. You consider her in Chechnya from the moment of puberty, that is, from 11-12 years. A woman of any age and social status does not walk here alone - neither at night, nor during the day.

A Chechen woman is always under supervision and must be accompanied by someone - a man (he goes ahead), another woman, in a pinch, a child, even a baby. Of men, a woman can be accompanied by: husband, brother, father, relative, distant relative, in the extreme case, a respectable long-term friend of the family, although this is undesirable. A woman cannot have friends of men whom she alone knows, all the more friends of friends of men.

A man, except for the closest relatives like a husband or father, should not be touched by any woman, and a woman should not be touched by a man. When meeting, acquaintances of Chechens, work colleagues, housemates, students of the same educational institution or their parents, if they are of different sexes, do not kiss, do not hug, do not clap on the shoulder, do not shake hands.

And what if a woman goes to the mountains with a man, he will not give her hands at a dangerous crossing?

He will not serve, ”snapped Rustam. “Why would a woman even go to the mountains?” This is the work of men, this is a test for a horse. If she goes there, then let her also test herself and not wait for help. He would give a hand only if it fell into the abyss, why take a sin on the soul? But even then through force: touching a woman is an insult to her, which means she is mistaken for a person of easy virtue.

Another prohibition for women - not to look into the eyes of an outsider when communicating - is also asked to observe not only local ones.

At the same time, everyone in Chechnya is very polite, and a woman should be the first to greet any unfamiliar man indoors, for example, in a store. During the greeting you need to smile and look into the eyes of a passerby, but only this time. Further, if a stranger asks you what time it is, how to get to the library, or rather, to the mosque, you should answer with a modestly downcast look.

So they live: in the same restaurant in high-rises, a male waiter looks at a female client or a cook, but they do not.

In the very center of Grozny, directly opposite the mosque "Heart of Chechnya", is the only place in the whole republic where it is openly poured after sunset.

In the evening for women, the dress code here is the same as in the daytime: dress and skirts - below the knees, better to the floor; the sleeve is below the elbow. Pants are masked with a tunic or sweater to the knees, with a blouse to combine them vulgarly. No neckline and bare backs, a cutout is allowed on the back of the skirt. Hairstyle - if not under a scarf, then at least collected, no loose hair.

But in this restaurant, morals are dissolute, ”Rustam continues,“ I can’t determine his attitude to “dissolute mores”, since I don’t look him in the eye.

One of its towers was given over to a hotel - but usually fewer people live in it than it attends a restaurant at the very top.

The second tower is a business center, but the offices are mostly empty. The rest - such as residential buildings, apartments were all redeemed, for the most part by officials or close to the authorities in order to visibly fill 18-40-story buildings. But practically no one really lives in them: the officials have their ancestral homes, the meters in the City are needed for show. It was here that Depardieu presented the apartment - he sold it and did not appear in the republic anymore.

Stay French actor - would ride in his tower on a miracle elevator, which even the Arab sheikhs would envy.

The use system is amazing. Calling one of the four elevators, the passenger at the bottom presses on the number of the desired floor. The system thinks for a few seconds and gives an answer - whether the elevator A, B, C or D will come. All so that women and men do not intersect once again: in one trip the elevator serves one client and does not pick up the others “along the way”.

The Islam elevator drove me to a restaurant, nicknamed my accompanying "nest of debauchery." The assortment is wide, but a glass of cheap Krasnodar red dry wine stands like a bottle of expensive French champagne.

Here in a separate area is allowed to dance. Dancing is only non-contact, such as lezginka. Only none of the Chechens on the dance floor came off. Visitors from all alcohol modestly ordered wine.

What brand did you take yesterday, say? Do not remember the picture on the label: a tree or a house? - the senior manager, called by the waiters to help, tried to understand what the guests want. - In the bottle cork or screw cap?

“I thought there really would be wine?”

Well, for a peaceful sky over Grozny! For the friendship of peoples! - Abdullah suggested, and we were clinked with glasses of red.

Walking in the hotel restaurant is very expensive and completely not interesting. It will not work to get drunk and outrageous - gatherings take place under the supervision of an armed guard. Therefore, I “moved out” of the complex and found myself Abdullah.

Abdullah (left) and his friends drink barbecue under a barbecue - cherry juice as his.

In Chechnya, a woman does not have the right to meet a man on her own: they can only be brought together by friends or relatives, and the purpose of these acquaintances is the same - to create a family. "Just a walk" with a man is impossible. And before the wedding, all meetings are held without fail in the presence of someone else.

But for girls there is a loophole - the Internet. Using the Network, you can make an appointment yourself, without intermediaries. Chechens on what kind of sites do not sit, and all with one purpose - to arrange a date.

I found Abdullah through social networks. It seemed to look at him to decide whether he could be trusted with me, the whole avenue of Putin, where my friends live, appeared: a woman should still get permission from those who look after her. After half an hour of interrogation, my family friends let us go.

First, we went into the anticafe - a fashion for establishments popular in big cities, where you pay not for the amount eaten and drunk, but for the time spent inside, finally reached Grozny.

Inside, there were desperate battles in paper board games, which they asked to bring at the opportunity from America, as once jeans. The hit of this fall is the Africa walker: you need to be the first to draw up a specific route along the Black Continent using your ingenuity.

Gambling is forbidden, but we set it up here in a big way, ”the Chechens boasted at the next table. I could not look at the guys, but their money - you can. Upon closer inspection, they turned out not from the Bank of Russia, but from the “joke bank”.

In Chechnya, you can play for money, but only for toys. The hit of the season is “Africa” walker brought from America.

In all ordinary cafes, the picture is the same: no cigarettes, hookahs, alcohol, money games. When we went around all the catering, Abdullah took me to the most walking place on the very outskirts of Grozny - to the "barbecue street".

This is one continuous row of barbecue, twenty tents. Kebab is fried from everything except pork, even from camels. And pickle them in a hundred ways, even in kiwi. Already here, under the barbecue, how not to be under the hollow guilt?

Are you red or white? - in a tent with the sonorous name “Juicy kebab powerful” the choice is more interesting than in the “Terrible City” itself.

Kebab is fried from everything except pork, even from camels. And pickle them in a hundred ways, even in kiwi.

Red! Dry if you can! I rejoiced.

We have one view, ”the brazier laughed.

Three minutes later they brought us a jug and glasses for whiskey - they had no wine. We spilled and clinked glasses for the peaceful Grozny and the friendship of peoples. Oh, in a glass of cherry juice!

Did you really think there would be wine there? - laughed Abdullah. - No, you can’t do it anywhere, even on this street, but sometimes you want a barbecue. So they came up with a trick: they pour juice into glasses. He who wants red is cherry, he who wants white is grape. Well, we will!

"Here are the sluts"

She said that she likes the red ball so much, oh what they do! - Ibrahim said strenuously, with whom his best friend Abdullah brought me together. He recommended him as the most abominable Chechen in all of Chechnya. If you can find a secret nightlife in Grozny, then only with him.

At 5 o’clock in the evening we sat with Ibrahim in the most depraved, according to his many years of observation, place in all of Grozny - a restaurant of national Chechen cuisine in the very center of the city, on Putin Avenue. This restaurant was partly ceremonial - delegations and important guests drive here, as in Grozny City, but the prices here are several times lower. And no alcohol.

A boy with a bunch of red and white balloons walked past the windows. As soon as three loud Chechen girls in high heels and skirts entered a millimeter above the knee (acceptable minimum; two millimeters above the knee and they could beep from the car), he went in. The girls approached the Chechen men having dinner, the boy followed them.

These are sluts, ”Ibrahim commented evilly when he listened to their conversation in Chechen. - One said: “I like the white ball so much.” And the other: "Oh, the red ball is so beautiful." And the third ... There are no censorship words! I just asked her to buy a ball! They are still laughing! Laughing a woman in the presence of a man is generally prohibited!

It turned out that in Grozny such espionage rules of conspiracy act that Stirlitz himself would appreciate. Remember, he drew the attention of Professor Pleischner to a conditional signal - a flower pot?

Chechens have balls. Red, white - unprincipled, just these two colors are sold on the market. If a Chechen woman says that she likes a ball, and even more so if she frankly asks for a purchase, then she means easy morals. This is almost the only way to get to know someone live (not via the Internet), without intermediaries in the form of relatives or friends. Only through the ball - directly into the open is still prohibited.

The Chechen woman has the most desperate carnal love, ”Ibrahim shared at the table, where, according to his assurance, there was a shaitan between us, since where there are only two, he is there.

There is shaitan, but no sex. Absolutely. In Chechnya, this word is prohibited. Even Ibrahim did not pronounce it, admitting, looking at debauchery in a cafe, that at 33 he himself meets with six (!) Women and all are someone's second or third wives, so they lack male attention. Men in this regard have two extremes - now Abdullah, at 37, is waiting for her only and abides by chastity ...

Men sat along Putin’s avenue on folding stools and skullcaps. When we passed, one of them got up, stepped in our direction and waved right in front of my nose a weighty bundle of five thousandth bills. The real ones, and not like in anticafe.

This is our currency exchange, ”Ibrahim suggested. - There are exchangers too, but locals change the old-fashioned way - on the street. It is honest and safe here. And the course is good. In general, the whole city in the evening is probably the safest in Russia: crime is zero.

In Moscow, ATMs are only in buildings, here - right in the middle of the street, unprotected by anyone, under the cover of a visor from a former telephone box or mailbox.

Therefore, I was not at all afraid when in the gateway we saw a man of twenty bearded young Chechens sitting. They jumped off their stools. There were no bundles of banknotes in their hands.

These generally have no money, - Ibrahim whispered. - This is the local labor exchange. A bunch of young people in the republic without work. Here they sit all day on stools in the hope that someone from the market will throw them a task - to unload the goods there ...

In all of Grozny there are only two secret stores, where after sunset they dispense alcohol. One of them is in the microdistrict where Ibrahim lives. We made our way to him with dark, secret corners.

Here we have a brothel, ”Ibrahim showed, waving his hand at an inconspicuous cafe near the curb.

So there we need! - I've never been so close to the secret night Chechen life.

Crazy, or something, - my companion was indignant.

It turned out that a brothel in Chechnya is not called a brothel (they are not here — neither explicit nor secret), but a place where a man and woman can meet a boy without a ball.

The waitress in a cafe or a car wash at the car wash writes her phone number unnoticed on the check - and that’s all, consider it yours, as there are no other reasons for acquaintance, except for joy, they’ll get to know each other here, Ibrahim revealed a scheme that I used it more than once.

We reached the usual grocery store (there are no supermarkets in Grozny either), and here for the first time Ibrahim asked me to be quiet and not ask unnecessary questions:

If because of you our last vent will be closed, I’ll light it up, ”he joked.

The store was completely conspiratorial: inside - the usual rows with all kinds of goods, a sleepy cashier. Ibrahim said something quietly in Chechen, and the master went out. He invited us to go through the white door, which seemed to lead to a warehouse ...

We entered, the white door was immediately closed behind us. Inside, she was guarded by two Chechens, and I felt that without shopping we would definitely not leave here ... The assortment was really for every taste. On endless shelves from floor to ceiling - boxes of vodka, beer, whiskey, wine and ... And that’s all.

We don’t hold exotics, like tequila, they don’t take it, ”the owner shrugged.

The prices are affordable: a bottle of vodka - 100 rubles, beer - 50, whiskey - 2500, wine - 250. They took Georgian semisweet - there was no other.

While we were trying to find red dry in an underground liquor store, the Chechen owner stood on a streamer

The owner carefully wrapped the bottle in several black bags, although there are no cameras anywhere in the shops in Grozny. At the checkout we just said what's inside. The cashier didn’t check, and the owner was no longer there: in secret alcohol stores everyone did not give out trust and a check.

“After a second sip, I began to choke.”

Come on, do it, ”Murad looked expectantly and approvingly nodded: they say, bolder. Ibrahim from behind blocked the path to retreat and gestured towards his cousin. When I did what they wanted, my eyes darkened ...

They forced me to shake Murad’s hand. For four days in Grozny not a single man touched me, I did not look in any of them in the eyes - and now I felt like a waitress or a cleaner, writing her number on the check.

Murad apologized and explained that in Vienna, where he, having become a refugee thirteen years ago, lives and studies as a lawyer, everyone does this - they shake hands, look into their eyes. They even cuddle, although he himself has not tried it.

Ibrahim led me to drink wine from a secret liquor store to his cousin Murad, who lives alone: \u200b\u200b“secret night clubs” in Grozny, if they arrange it, then not in the porches, not in the attics or basements, but in the apartments. But they are really secret - no one is photographed there, they do not advertise their pastime in social networks - it is forbidden to drink openly.

Chechens, if they want to break away, go to Pyatigorsk, ”Ibrahim revealed all the cards. - This is the most depraved city of the whole Caucasus, everything is possible there.

Frankly, many would like to live in Chechnya in a secular way, but Ramzan does not allow it, ”Murad added. - There are many refugees in the republic, like me, who grew up during the Chechen wars in Europe and saw what life is like. I come to my native Grozny for two to three months of the year - to visit my relatives. I have three uncles, three aunts and a grandmother here. Of course, I miss European nightlife in Grozny sadly.

Though unwritten, but still laws will be, ”Ibrahim objected.

To increase debauchery, we turned on a music channel on which modern video clips were shown. The meandering half-naked girls in Chechnya in the presence of Chechens look very different. This is the television maximum allowed here, and then this is usual for us MUZ-TV not in the public domain, but on a paid satellite dish. Porn channels are blocked even on them.

While Ibrahim passionately commented on what he saw, Murad was looking for something to discover the Georgian semisweet. Even such European Chechens are not used to drinking - there was simply no corkscrew in his house. They pushed the cork with fingers and a ballpoint pen.

What wine, such and corkscrew

It was impossible to drink - after one sip my stomach fell, after the second I began to choke. Ibrahim with an experienced look determined that, most likely, this is a fake, synthetic.

Yes, ”Murad said only. “Okay, I’ll bring you something stronger and safer.”

Ten minutes later he returned with two teapots - a teapot and boiling water. Yes, in Grozny, as I understand it, there are no electric kettles: it is believed that a woman should not leave the stove while she is preparing something, even tea, and it is not worth making life easier for the hostess.

When we poured the wine into the toilet, it turned acid pink.

At tea, Murad complained that he had a hookah bought in Vienna in the house, but his friends stole it - they dragged everything except one hose.

The only place in the city where it was possible to smoke a hookah was the Damascus cafe on Rosa Luxemburg Street, but it was closed a long time ago, Ibrahim recalled. - And Kadyrov personally closed the sauna with the girls. We inherited it from Khankala, a Russian military base.

In addition to wine, the rest in our “secret night club” at Murad’s apartment was decent: we sat at different ends of the room, did not dance, did not laugh.

Could I come here in a miniskirt? - I asked the guys.

You wouldn’t have reached or reached, ”they said without hesitation. - Yes, and we wouldn’t give you clothes to change at home: we love women, but we don’t want them to behave in our presence like in a cafe on Putin Avenue. Laugh in the presence of men, a skirt above the knees - this is excluded.

Would you allow a Chechen woman to drink, as I do?

Not! Never! - wound up the brothers. - A drinking woman is a shame! We allowed you only because you are not ours, not a Chechen, because you yourself asked to buy this wine. If I hadn’t asked, we would never have offered it to you in our life. Therefore, in fact, we have neither secret nor explicit nightclubs: women have nothing to do there, and without them it is not interesting. And do not forget that without intermediaries it is still impossible to get acquainted, and the main goal of any night club is to get to know each other.

The second time in the evening, I felt like a girl asking to buy a ball.

But in Chechnya there is no rape, Murad changed the subject.

It is not true, ”Ibrahim did not agree. - There are cases, but they do not reach the police, they are ahead of the law of blood feud. If a Chechen woman is raped, her relatives will either force them to marry or pay off. If it turns out that she was a virgin, they’ll kill immediately.

We quickly finished our tea - at exactly 11:00 p.m. I had to be returned home, this is the last time until which a woman is allowed to walk in Chechnya. On the way, Ibrahim asked me to chew gum: if the Chechens, friends of my family, sensed that I smell of alcohol, albeit synthetic, they wouldn’t let me on the threshold.

Having returned from the most uncrowded and decent “night club” in my life, I kept wondering what they were doing at night, these Chechens, if everything, absolutely everything is forbidden here, and alcohol - from acetone.

Rustam is raising two sons, Abdullah is nursing a niece and dreams of his own daughter, Ibrahim and Murad are also busy with business.

Somehow, officials estimated that the birth rate in Grozny was twice the average Russian birth rate, and in Chechnya, as many children were born in a year as in St. Petersburg. Although the city on the Neva in terms of population exceeds the chaste republic by five times.

Vakha Usmanov, engineer (first and last name fictitious)

- You live in Moscow for more than twenty years. Who do you feel: a Muscovite, a Moscow Chechen, just a Chechen?

Of course I'm a Chechen. And, of course, I am a Muscovite. But I understand what you want to ask: is there a difference between Moscow Chechens and those who live in the Republic?

Here it is necessary to stipulate: we are talking about present times, and not about the USSR. Because when I came to study in Moscow, and that was in the mid-80s, everything was different. After the army I entered the university, I was proud of all my relatives. I acted as an army man, and not according to the national quota. My fellow students didn't care where I came from. From the Caucasus, and okay. None of the Dagestanis were distinguished from us. There were difficulties like all provincials: a huge city, new people, it was difficult to learn to live in a different everyday culture. I emphasize: household. Because then there was a common culture. And it's not just about literature and cinema, but about how to behave.

  - What do you mean by “household”?

Elementary things: we have completely different traditions of communication, for example, with elders. At first I was just killed when I saw that my classmates smoke with their parents and argue with them.

Yes, and communication with the weaker sex is different with us. More precisely, then it was so. How this is happening among young people in Chechnya, I don’t know.

- Well, let's get back to your feelings ...

So, in spite of, as they used to say, “a single Soviet people”, I always knew who I was. I do not want to talk about the war and I'm sorry for everything related to it. But I have been living in Moscow for 28 years. This is my city. I know all the traffic jams and the whole center here. I, like any Muscovite, are wildly annoyed by Sobyaninsky tiles and migrants.

- Wait, where are the migrants from? From Central Asia or your compatriots?

Yes, all those who behave here are not like the ordinary resident of the metropolis. Do you think if a Caucasian cuts me on a tinted nine, I think something different from you in this situation? Yes, I won’t shout: “Drive like that in your aul,” but, believe me, it’s also infuriating.

And when they are outraged by the fact that rams are cut on holidays on the street, I am on the side of those who are outraged. Mark, cut - but only where possible, so as not to disturb others.

- Do you often travel to Chechnya? How do you feel there?

I haven’t been there for a long time. So the circumstances are.

- Do you feel negative about yourself when people recognize your nationality? Do you have to face open hostility because you are a Chechen?

Again, they divided the issue into the USSR, into the 90s and now. About the Union, I said. In the 90s it was strange. My non-Chechen friends, and most of them, diligently pretended that nothing was happening, never talked about war with me. It got ridiculous. At a party I go out for a smoke - there everyone is vigorously discussing the capture in Budennovsk. My friend, seeing me, immediately interrupts and says: “The bandits have no nationality.”

There was also a situation in the bathhouse. And I take a steam bath once a week at the same time. Everyone got used to me, where did I come from - they didn’t ask. The men are sitting in the steam room, they are arguing about the army. I got involved too and said in a conversation where they had called me from. The silence was about five minutes. They all digested what they had said over the years about Chechnya and the Caucasus in general. I say: “Relax, men, you haven’t told me anything new.” They laughed, of course. But now they are trying not to talk to me on slippery, as it seems to them.

At work, everyone knows where I come from. There, never, even during the Nord-Ost, I personally did not feel any negative feelings towards myself.

Honestly, with strangers too. Maybe because I have no emphasis. Although obviously the name and surname is Caucasian. But no, I won’t lie, I really didn’t encounter overt fear or hostility because of my nationality.

  - We all read about “shooting weddings” and the behavior of guests from the Caucasus. Why are your compatriots so defiantly behaving wildly in the capital?

Listen, these are youngsters. If I start to give you examples of Russian teenagers with cans of cocktails yelling obscenities at my entrance, you will say that’s another matter. And the truth is different. Sorry, but you get used to your livelihood. That is, I just recently had to pull out two youngsters by the collar in the train - they were drunk and cursed so that their ears sagged. But this type of behavior is familiar to Muscovites.

Another opinion: the history of relations between Russia and Chechnya over the past few years has no analogues, even far-fetched. Any attempt to present something remotely similar in history only emphasizes the absurd uniqueness of the Russian-Chechen situation. ()

And “shooting weddings” ... I will not call it wildness, it’s just that it’s inappropriate in the city. Again, a cultural issue. Aborigines go naked somewhere in Africa - you can’t call them uncultured? This is a different culture. The trouble is that no one explained to the youths who arrived in Moscow how to behave.

My teeth are already grinding when I see "mine" in sweatpants somewhere on the Manezh. But this is a generation that grew up after the Soviet Union. They really did not study there. Grew up during the war. With all the atavisms of this war and the broken psyche of the "children of war."

Again, Moscow Chechens do not behave like that.

And shooting ... In the Balkans, at weddings and christenings, be healthy, scorching. Traditions are like that. By the way, I don’t remember anyone shooting in my childhood. I’m not sure that there are many such holidays in the Caucasus too - with volleys. This is also incomprehensible to me, although their motivation is clear - for courage.

You have to consider one more thing - alcohol. We used to have a dripping nation. More precisely, drinking wine. Although moonshine and cognac - everything was, but somehow in moderation. About drugs in my youth, I did not know.

I will not be unsubstantiated, I do not know how things are going with this in Chechnya. But he himself was a repeated witness: young people come here to study, and gradually alcohol begins to begin without measure, and grass. And they don’t know how to drink at all, well, it started ...

“Do your colleagues discuss this with you?”

Yes. I tell them the same as you now.

- Are there any values \u200b\u200bin your life that your Russian colleagues and friends do not understand? Do you explain them? Are you upholding?

Well, I probably have universal values. There is a difference in traditions and mentality. But come on: I speak to myself personally.

We have a strict taboo on public discussion and conversation on the topic of sex and sexual relations. Even in a purely male company this veto is.

And the third: the relationship with parents, with elders and in general the family. Here is my wife, when my relatives come, silently serves them to the table and leaves for her room. But this is nothing more than traditional behavior. Although when we are at home alone or with friends, everything is different.

And on all these three points, I have to scary argue with my Russian friends. They do not understand this, but do not want to accept it. My explanations that it is so accepted that this is a custom as a custom, for example, that the bride is not present at her own wedding, do not work.

But I’m already used to such questions and bewilderment, such as: how is it that you drink with us, why you, an adult, educated person, cannot act in the presence of relatives as you want. Yes, the fact is that I want them to be comfortable! To not be ashamed of me.

In the end, this is from childhood - the habit of unconditionally obeying elders. Yes, probably, a lot in my personal life would have gone differently if I could not argue - at least not take the advice of my parents as a direct indication of action, but it sits inside: the elders said - I must do it.

- And how would you solve the problem, which is delicately called “attitude towards people from the Caucasus”? Can it be solved in principle?

In Moscow, I would easily have decided. Let here only those who come to really study or work, and not to shake at parent money. Strictly control the employment of visitors from the Caucasus.

And then I’ll say why I asked about the anonymity of this interview - they are unlikely to understand me at home. I would prohibit fraternity. That is, not fraternity as such, but this clanism. After all, as it is now in universities - all Caucasians are hanging out together. They communicate with each other, show off in front of each other, and then what you called "wild behavior". And so it is everywhere. For example, someone in Vorkuta got a job at the police. Immediately relatives send a nephew: they say, an extension. And you, what to do, attach - so it should be.

It should be like that. Let's say you own a store. Excellent. But your sellers should not be yours ... cousins \u200b\u200band nephews, but local ones. Because when they come to Russia, young Chechens, in fact, do not know anything about it. Relatives are boiled in a cauldron, and the Russians for them remain strangers and completely unfamiliar. Here they see: there is a girl in a mini and with a cigarette. And their thoughts are simple: it is available. They do not know anything about you, they see only the external.

And if they had dipped them, like me at one time, on Wednesday, they would have quickly understood what was happening.

There will be no fraternities - there will not be a situation when a crowd comes to buy a Caucasian detained for something.

The same is in the army: I was in my company one Chechen, and everything is fine. We must not serve with fellow countrymen. This is involuntary - you get lost in one pile with your own. And then it’s logical: the rest are on the other side. And in the army the feeling of fraternity is sharpened.

You can talk a lot about education in Chechnya itself, however, I am incompetent in this. But no matter how you are brought up at home, you must adapt to the party. And you will do it if you know that no uncle will help you out and pay for you.

I assure you: if they come here only on business and live independently, without this eternal bunching, everything will quickly work out.

Yes, still - no national quotas for study. Let them come and act on a common basis and study in the same way that they can be deducted. According to the quota, they are trying to pull a three-ruble note by them ... You will see: the number of young people loitering around their universities will be much less.

“I just wanted to ask.” Look: young Chechens usually participate in everyday conflicts between Chechens and Russians in Moscow. It seems that they are more aggressive than the more mature, adult Chechens, say, your age and older. Are you trying to solve the problem of young Chechens?

Yes, there is such a problem. I don’t know how to decide. With us, they are quieter than water below the grass - the words will not allow anything superfluous. Those who did not find the USSR, for me terra incognita - that is, I see that we speak the same language, they know my customs, but nothing more. People from another planet for me.

I have a friend, a computer man. An 18-year-old nephew from Shali came to him. It would seem, what kind of IT specialist will not find a common language with a modern teenager who sticks out from the laptop from morning to evening? Not found. “I don’t know what you can talk about with him. He is completely dark. That is, it’s not easy to be illiterate, but tabula is a race, ”this friend later complained. And the kid, by the way, has excellent marks on the exam.

Again, the young Chechens you are asking for have arrived. Naturally grown up in Moscow, others.

I don’t know, I’ve thought about it many times already. Flog them ... I repeat: with the older Chechens, that is, with us, they are megacorrect.

- And how do the Chechens - both those who come to Moscow and those who live in Chechnya themselves - belong to the Russians? Many Russians say that at best they feel neglect mixed with ridicule, at worst aggression.

I won’t say anything about modern Chechnya. But when I hear that, they say, we are a mono-ethnic nation, I find it funny. Always married Russians. Married, yes, rarely. But mixed marriages were full. Remember Dzhokhar Dudaev. So everything was fine before.

And to ask how Moscow Chechens relate to Russians ... I don’t even formulate myself that way. There are specific people for me, it all depends on them. Do I think you're Russian? You are you, and that’s it.

- “Stop feeding the Caucasus” - do you support this slogan, so popular among many Russians?

Again, I don’t know. I don’t know too much about the economy of Chechnya. On the one hand, everything was destroyed. On the other - I myself always think: where do 18-year-old boys get Mercedes? And after all, many of these travel around Moscow.

I’ll say a banality: if we removed bribe takers everywhere, kickbacks, “we will agree” and everything that you, journalists, call corruption, then you would have to feed less. But after all, is this feeding beneficial for someone here?

Turpal Sulaev, businessman (first and last name fictitious)

- Two decades in the capital - a considerable period. Are you a Muscovite, a Moscow Chechen, or just a Chechen? How do you feel?

What do I feel about self-identification - so, presumably, the question is? The answer is simple, without any: how he was born, and so he was born.

I will try to explain. For a Chechen, freedom is the main thing. We are all born free - we understood this long before the Declaration of Human Rights. Far far away. "Hello" in Chechen, "go free" is translated. The Chechen Everything is based on this.

- When people in Moscow recognize your nationality, do you feel cautious or negative on their part?

I felt both of them, and even in Soviet, extremely international times. Natsmen - Soviet euphemism. Type "lumps." Although by type I am Caucasian. In English, if anyone does not know, Caucasian. That is, a Caucasian. This is so at one time the zealots of the purity of the race called the standard of the white race. The Irony of Fate...

He will tell me who this person is - the gods will not envy him. I’ll mark it. The Scots say, by the way, also at the heart of their highlanders: Nemo me impune lacessit (“No one will touch me with impunity”).

But I will not say that I’m especially worried about this, I’ve already grown.

- "Shooting weddings", dancing in the streets, racing in cool cars ... Why do your compatriots periodically behave so wildly?

"Shooting weddings" - honestly, it’s in the genes. Read the classics of Russian. In particular, the most worthy - Mikhail Yuryevich Lermontov. Why do I call him by priest? And because, being a kid of about 25, he showed miracles of courage and male, military dignity. Warrior, in a word.

Well, even Tolstoy "Hadji Murat." If not enough, then German Sadulayev, if anyone is not familiar. A man who never fought described how a Chechen feels a weapon. For example, at one time I used to quench a sharp toothache with shots from Bumblebee. These are we.

Although the clowns divorced darkness. I’m sure they don’t know how to shoot from a slingshot. Seriously.

- The problem of Chechen fathers and Chechen children: young people seem more harsh, aggressive, behave defiantly. Is there really a problem for the young generation of Chechens? If there is such a problem, are you adult Chechens trying to solve it somehow?

They behave this way because I'm not them, sorry for the tautology. They are children of the wrong parents. Children of the nouveau riche-light, offspring of bureaucratic thieves from the colonial administration. Subsidized, in a word. What do you want from them in the capital of the metropolis, eaten by a terrible corrosion of decay?

- Are there any values \u200b\u200bin your life that your Russian colleagues and friends do not understand? Do you defend them?

Chechen values \u200b\u200bdo not really differ much from the values \u200b\u200bof men of any nationality.

We respect the elders in addition.

- What is the hardest thing for you as a Chechen in Moscow?

Xenophobia rolls over. And so bearable. Although it should not be tolerated in the capital of the 150 millionth state. "I think so!" - as said Frunzik from Mimino.

No, there’s nothing heavy. I have been living for more than twenty years. It would be unbearable - I would smear. Although, frankly, the family has not been in Moscow for a long time (the family of our interlocutor lives abroad - Ed. ) I work here, alone.

- And do you think the problem of xenophobia that is overwhelming is really possible to solve?

Solve the problem of immigrants from the Caucasus? You bent eka! It sounds medically. I guess how many people think so!

Seriously, I would put the people responsible for this decision for a couple of years in London, New York, Toronto or Paris. Maybe they would learn something practical. Although I suspect their families are learning multiculturalism there. They melt, so to speak, in a cauldron, like cheese in butter.

- And how do Chechens relate to Russians?

Attitude to the Russians? More than 200 years of confrontation, two genocides in one twentieth century. How to an older brother, as the Soviet propaganda said? Well no. Far from it.

Although in the distant 80s, when I shepherd high in the mountains of the Caucasus (I didn’t want to join the army in the fall), one adult (like the beginning of a banal toast?) Told me: never underestimate the Russian Ivan. I said so. And he knew what he was saying: 25 years in the Turukhansk Territory he had “shook off” his term and he himself was far from a timid one. Almost like a “father of peoples” - a hijacker.

Perhaps there is a problem in the attitude of young Chechens to Russians. It would be strange if, after two wars, there was almost no extermination throughout their young life.

How am I trying to solve this problem? He married a Russian. No kidding.

- There is such a slogan: “Stop feeding the Caucasus.” What do you think of him?

“Stop feeding the Caucasus” - a pre-election cry for okhlos. Would be smarter - statistics would scroll through ...

Material prepared by:   Ksenia Fedorova, Alexander Gazov

God, how tired. As a Russian, I want to appeal to those peasants who teach us. First of all, look for a log in your eye. And then, why immediately if a woman slept, or got into a car, then a whore. Then, by the logic of things, men are also whores, even more. I want to appeal to Caucasians. You understand that we Russians consider YOU for the most part, as entertainment without serious intentions. You compare us with your klushki, forgetting that we are more independent, we are able to support ourselves, are able to physically stand up for ourselves and make decisions themselves. the fact that Caucasians support us, I assure everyone, is a myth invented by them. This is a rare exception rather than a rule. Unlike their women, we do not need such support by men and, as life shows, we perfectly survive without them, we raise and raise children. Such a woman cannot be called a whore, because it is mainly she has men. I don’t envy Caucasian wives, they are just maternity food processors. And I do not understand why they so exalt their often worthless, stupid and self-confident men. Russians are a thousand times better. They are much more intellectually developed, much more honest and generous, and these stereotypes about general alcoholism were invented by our television and ethnic groups, because for lack of their own merits they are actively looking for shortcomings in other people. And to satati about super sexuality, this is also a myth. As lovers, Caucasians do not even pull into the top three. Mostly take off sex, you can’t even call sex. This is just a hook. Our Russians are much more artificially and more interesting in bed. So, spraying the seminal fluid to the right and left does not mean sexuality, but incontinence.
Turning to the Russians, I’ll say this, we guys love and respect you, just you lack activity and perseverance when meeting the second half and we don’t have enough of your compliments, Caucasians are old-fashioned, and even though their compliments are like water, it still hurts , but then you realize that they have it just verbal diarrhea. And it’s a lie that the Russians hang themselves on Caucasians. Basically, their contingent is gray mice, saleswomen from the stalls, this brother also does not disdain the bums. Lovely girls, be careful, behind the pretense of sexuality from the Caucasus, a lot of sexually transmitted diseases are hidden, because despite their washing their backsides, which they especially boast about, these people are extremely sexually unclean. They look like public dildos. I don’t know how those present, but personally I treat them with extreme disgust. Those who took off, once had a connection, were ultimately very disappointed. Basically, these women, realizing their wrongfulness, refuse to relate to them.

Recently, more and more examples of interethnic marriages are found. But, in every nation, there are traditions and laws that can stand in the way of a wedding. Let's look at how Chechens get married, whether they can choose a companion of a different nationality and what difficulties they may face.

Chechen family customs

Before talking about the wedding, it is important to know what features of family life are expected, so that in the end not to be disappointed and in time to avoid disagreements and conflicts. The head in a Chechen family is a husband who has authority and is respected. A Chechen woman is obliged to do household chores and raise children.

Also, a Chechen man may have several wives. If a Chechen woman could not share her beloved with others and violated customs, she was expelled from the family.

A great influence on family relationships is the husband's mother. The daughter-in-law is obliged to respect her, to obey, not to enter into conflict conversations, to contact only the “mother” and put on a scarf at a meeting.

Wedding ceremony in the marriage of a Chechen

The wedding ceremony itself can only be in spring or autumn, but it is strictly forbidden to get married in April. There is a belief that this is a cuckoo month and a wife can, like a bird, leave her home.

According to the law, a Chechen woman is forbidden to marry a man of a different nationality. But a Chechen can let a foreign woman into her house if she is ready to make serious internal changes.

The Chechen wedding consists of many ceremonies, starting from matchmaking and ending with the post-wedding life. But all customs are aimed at one goal - the birth of healthy children. Consider the most common wedding ceremonies.

• The groom must pay a dowry for the bride, often his size is determined at the matchmaking.
• Chechen parents are involved in the preparation and organization of the ceremony.
• A lot of relatives, guests, friends are invited to the wedding.
• The entire course of the event is carefully thought out, up to the location of the guests, time for dancing, etc.
• The first Chechen woman is met by her mother-in-law with sweets and sweets, which she sprinkles on her daughter-in-law and puts in her mouth.
• The ceremony should be fun with songs, dances and other details.
• To drive away evil spirits from the newlyweds, they use shooting.
• Not allowed to drink a lot of alcohol, a drunk man at a wedding is a shame.
• After the event, a Chechen woman comes to her husband’s house and picks up the baby boy in the arms.

These are far from all the features of a Chechen wedding. To find out more, watch the video below.

How do Chechens treat women?

A Russian girl who fell into the Chechen people will at first feel uncomfortable, and even a little scared. After all, these are absolutely two different cultures. Let's try to figure out what role a woman plays in a Chechen family.

Firstly, the wife is a housewife, must do all the housework, keep clean, cook, look after the children, etc. If the husband fits into this obligation, this case is considered a shame.

Secondly, unlike the neighboring Caucasian peoples, Chechens are allowed to walk along the street without a headdress, but must be worn in front of the husband’s relatives.

The Chechen, according to the law, has no right to raise a hand against a woman. It is also forbidden to enter into conflict situations in the presence of a wife.

In case of treason, the Chechen has every right to drive the Chechen out of the house.

If, for example, a Russian woman falls in love with a Chechen, then the law allows him to become his wife, subject to all the rules and traditions. But is it worth it to marry a Chechen and accept their culture, only a woman should decide.

In practice, you can build a strong family with a Chechen if you truly love each other and trust. Here are some guidelines for creating a happy cross-cultural marriage:

• in order to avoid misunderstanding, study the customs of your chosen one and observe them;
• so as not to fall in the eyes of friends, relatives of the husband, do not touch him when someone is nearby, kisses are also prohibited;
• for meetings with Chechen parents, dress modestly, a minimum of make-up and a hairstyle collected, vulgarity is not permissible;
• modesty is a character trait respected by the Chechen people;
• so that the husband’s parents relate properly, help them;
• always try to enjoy the guests in the house;
• support your husband, support each other and avoid quarrels;
• remember that the Chechen is the main in the family, listen to him and act wisely.

Chechen bride and Russian groom

As already mentioned, a Chechen can marry a Russian girl. But there are cases, of course there are not so many when a Chechen woman loves Russian and is ready for any actions for his sake. But can a Chechen woman marry a Russian? Proceeding from faith, laws, customs - it cannot. There are cases in history when Chechens betrayed their country and married a Russian. But in this way, she renounced not only faith, but also family. Sometimes it’s not easy to choose between love and family.