If someone you love very much is in a difficult situation right now and needs your support, please read this text.
If someone you love very much is in a difficult situation right now and needs your support, please read this text.It's about the right support. And about how incorrect support looks through the eyes of a person who feels bad.
What you need to know if you want to help
Imagine that you have an orange. And I really need an apple. Well, very much.
And to your question “How can I help?” I can only answer this way: “Find the apple.”
But you have your own life and a lot of things to do. And where to look for it, this apple? And why waste time searching?But you can’t remain indifferent, because you love and respect me. And generally speaking.
Therefore, you say generously and persistently: “Here, take an orange. Don’t wander around.”
I don't need an orange. I am now allergic to citrus. I politely say: “No need, thank you.”
No, take it, - you get angry, internally considering me an ungrateful bitch. You are giving away your orange for free! And he is dear to you, by the way. I might appreciate it.
And I spend my energy and emotions, and explain what is an allergy, and what is not necessary, and what... Okay, let's do it. It’s easier to take it than to explain that it’s not necessary. I'll take it, see? Thank you.
And here I sit, piled high with oranges. I'm sad because there's still no apple. I'm looking for the positives. I find one. At least it means that the giver of the orange goes home happy, with the knowledge that he is a savior. Helper. And generally well done.
And that's what I think. There is no need to help by generously cramming in what you have. We must help by giving what is asked. Do you understand?
It seems that we were told that we need to help grandmothers cross the road, but they forgot to say that not all grandmothers need to get to the other side.
Dguns, there is no need to treat and teach without asking. No need to push your experience. Don't give unsolicited advice.
I did not take my child to Moscow and stayed for treatment in the Moscow region, because she became ill so quickly and so sharply that she could... not make it there. And I decided to stay. My decision is my responsibility.
Was I scared? Yes. On a scale of 10, 11. Was I aware of the risks? Yes, completely. Do you know what was most painful that night? Read hundreds of tips that begin with the phrase: “We must take you to Moscow!...” or something else like: “Urgently! Take us to Israel!”, “Olya, don’t hesitate, go to Germany!”
Yes? Where else?Advice poured in generously from friends and family. I couldn't turn off the phone. He is my connection to the world, doctors and those who gave real support.
Do you know what she is like? Well, is it real? She's delicate. Unobtrusive. She is gentle and enveloping. She's lulling.
It consists of the phrases:
I pray for you;
You're doing everything right;
If you need anything, just say it;
Darling, I'm close.I'm with you. Here's my hand.
Think positive.
Let's think about a plan of action, would you like?
It is very important to hear the apples. And price your oranges. If there are no apples among them, then it’s better not to. Well, really.
You won't help, you'll just take away a pinch of nerves. Tiny. But if you multiply it by the number of people who will also offer their citrus, it turns out to be a lot. Just a lot.
A person who feels bad is most often able to formulate what he wants. Because he is mobilized to survive and clearly understands what is stopping him. And, believe me, he is not flirting.
If he asks not to disturb, don't bother. If he wants to talk, talk. If he wants to be silent, be silent.
I have a friend. She is far away, in another country, and cannot help me. But she calls to... keep me quiet on the phone. And this silence is more valuable than words. It smells like apples. With her silence, she tells me so much that is necessary, smooth, and encouraging that I cry into the phone with tears of relief.
Please, I conjure you, if you love, if you really want to help someone, then just LISTEN to him. And find him apples.published. If you have any questions about this topic, ask them to the experts and readers of our project .
As soon as you have a breakup, you should immediately cut the person out of your life.
It's all over, accept it.
The psychologist’s first advice on how to forget a loved one forever will be exactly this. Your past reality does not exist.
Yours former relationship dead, person died. Start looking at it this way now.
Let go of the past completely.
It’s like you’re being reborn again and starting with a clean slate.
New world, new people.
2. Absolutely no contact with ex-lovers
Delete any connection with a person:
- in the Internet;
- by phone;
- by mail;
- via Skype and other means of communication.
3. Remove from life all psychological anchors that evoke memories of your former passion.
What anchors need to be removed from life in detail:
- common music that you spent time listening to together;
- gifts (either hide in the basement or give to friends);
- do not go to those locations and places where you had cool dates together before;
- any forgotten things: be it clothes or a lens from a former passion that was not thrown away earlier (it’s time to throw it away);
- delete shared photos and videos on your computer, phone and other media.
Follow these steps, and you will get rid of restless thoughts about how to forget the person you love, but he doesn’t love you, without any conspiracies and other nonsense.
4. Don’t fall into his perception: don’t think about what’s on his mind.
Don’t fall into other people’s perceptions and don’t think about what’s on your ex-partner’s mind!
Otherwise you will fall into the pain of loss.
Do not be interested in the life of your past partner and do not fall into other people's perceptions. 
What does this mean in detail:
- You should not care what kind of relationship your ex-partner is in or who he is with now.
- It doesn't matter whether your ex is suffering or not. On this moment The only thing that matters is your well-being.
- Do not hang or get stuck on the page in social networks from a former person.
Finding out that he is doing better will not make you feel any better. - You feel neither better nor worse when hearing rumors or some news about a past person.
Absolute and complete indifference!
Implement this principle and no longer need advice from a psychologist on how to forget a person with whom you will never be together.
5. Don't blame yourself for never being together again.
In such cases, a person's focus can only be occupied by negativity, and it is a mistake to make only oneself the culprit.
Otherwise, negative energy will accumulate in you.
It is not your fault! What happened happened.
No need to scold yourself!
A fine line, which needs to be remembered.
- It’s cool that you look for your mistakes, analyze your behavior so as not to repeat your mistakes. BUT: find these mistakes and don’t attack or blame yourself!
- Find mistakes for yourself so as not to repeat them in other new relationships, and not to go back to your previous partner!
You find your mistakes so as not to repeat them with a new partner and never step on the same rake again.
Remember this, and you no longer need to look for answers to questions from psychology about how to forget the person you love quickly and in a short time.
6. We learn new realizations and lessons so as not to step on the same rake again
Lessons are learned through analysis.
Analysis is done with pen and paper, asking yourself as many questions as possible and answering them in writing.
The more questions, the better.
- Who is to blame for the fact that you initially chose the wrong partner?
Answer: myself! - Why did this happen, how did you allow this to happen?
Answer: I had no personal boundaries, I had little idea of the person I wanted to see next to me. - What kind of person do I want to see next to me, what do I allow and what do I not allow in a relationship?
The answer indicates the exact characteristics of personality, not appearance. - What have I learned and learned from past relationships?
- What mistakes should I not make again with another partner?
Be as sincere as possible with yourself when you write your answers to these questions.
This way, you will solve your problems yourself and there will be no need for advice from a psychologist on how to quickly forget your loved one and start a new life.
7. Don't be lonely: know that you always have an abundance of choice.
You must have faith that you will have another person with even more emotional connection and chemistry. 
Know that you always have an abundance of choice. You can always find a soul mate.
There is no need to look at this as an everyday duty and a need to get a new partner as soon as possible.
Just understand that it is stupid to hold in your head what is no longer there until your death.
Accept change and don't resist it.
Any breakup that happens to you - this is a time of powerful growth for you.
Remember this and don’t worry anymore about how to forget the person you still like.
8. Don’t blame your old partner and don’t hold a grudge against him, remove the bitterness
Some people like to continue texting their exes even a year after a breakup or calling them from time to time.
People hold anger and negativity from past relationships within themselves, which later manifest themselves and have an effect in in the following respects. Having the same type of thinking in a new relationship, all the old mistakes will be repeated again.
Don't get caught in this vicious, repeating circle.
A fine line. Instead of becoming angry with your partner, it is better to deeply thank him for what happened!
Through hatred you yourself will maintain an energetic connection with ex-lover, cling to it and why waste energy on negative thoughts. Do you need it?
You can easily fall into such hatred. Get rid of it, and thereby remove the worries about how to forget the person who hurt you once.
9. After a breakup, don’t lump everyone with the same brush: “they’re all like that,” otherwise you yourself will attract people like that into your life.
We often hear from a person after a breakup: “All men are goats” or “All women...”.
They painfully broke up with their partner, and now they themselves are looking for evidence in everything that “all men are like this” or “all women are like this...” 
Moreover, they do this unconsciously and do not understand it.
And guess what? It will be like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You will really attract such people to you.
And also having these attitudes in your head, you yourself will unconsciously look for such negative characteristics in other people, try to look for confirmation of them.
Why do you need this?
Stop lumping everyone with the same brush, and no longer ask yourself questions about how to forget a person who betrayed you or acted in a certain way that did not meet your expectations.
10. Realize that nothing is permanent in the world, everything comes and goes.
Look at it from the spiritual side.
- You were born alone and you will die alone. Nothing is eternal.
- Everything is constantly changing. And it is useless to resist change. These are the laws of the universe.
- Don't cling to old emotions and memories.
- Life is like a roller coaster. You're up and down. And that's what makes it interesting.
By realizing this, you will save yourself from the dilemma of how you can forget the person you love very much and blindly.
11. You must still be open-minded to a new person, aware deep down of the fact that nothing lasts forever.
There is a mental trap: “Thinking that a relationship will last forever.” Don't live in this illusion!
But at the same time, you still open up to new people after breaking up an old relationship, you are not afraid to open up and expose your true self to others.
Continue to open up 100% with other people and share moments together.
But realize deep down that everything has an end. 
Example. You are eating delicious ice cream. You can enjoy it. Enjoy the process. But deep inside you realize and understand that the ice cream will run out.
If you think that you will continue to eat the same ice cream non-stop for the rest of your life, you are trapped in your mind.
He leads you by the nose and plays with you.
Be aware of this. Know everything about between them.
It will be useful for women who are asking questions about how to forget to remind themselves of this. married man, whom you love and still dream of some kind of blind hopes in relation to him.
A fine line
- Don't forget to enjoy the process. It's like enjoying life before you die.
- The same thing in relationships: enjoy them, because they may end.
- But don’t deprive yourself of enjoying relationships with this knowledge.
Wise words of Osho in video
On our website you can also to get over breakups and breakups relationships.
12. When looking for a new partner, do not compare him with the old one, do not look for a replacement for him, look for and create a new experience
- Don't try to find the same partner as you had.
Don't look for the same person. - Don't make comparisons.
This only spoils and destroys everything. - Don't look for the same personality characteristics as your ex-partner.
Do everything for a new interesting experience! - Don’t impose your old manner and style of communication as your old partner did when meeting a new person.
About affection and love addiction you can also in a new publication.
Remember these principles, and you will stop worrying about how to forget your loved one if you see him every day. 
Example
Otherwise, for example, a guy broke up with his girlfriend and now, when he meets a new one, he wants the new girl to behave the same way as her ex.
Then he imposes new girl a behavior pattern that is not inherent to her.
But she behaves completely differently, the guy’s expectations are shattered and this negatively affects your flirting and the process of getting closer.
It is a mistake to see a new person as a replacement for an ex.
This only makes your condition worse.
Don't try to cover your pain with a new partner!
13. Review the features of your personality, remind yourself of them
There is such an illusion after a breakup that now supposedly “you are not self-sufficient because you don’t have a soulmate.” 
It is especially common among girls who are troubled by restless thoughts about how to forget the man they love.
When it's all over, it's time to go back and reconsider your personality.
It is important to remind yourself of them!
You need to reconsider the new you who went through this whole journey with your past partner.
Continue to enjoy life while discovering and learning more about yourself.
14. Understand that your passion, self-sufficiency and love are always with you, no one can take it away from you
Let's look at three simple steps on how to forget a loved one, and analyze the psychology of such perception.
- Realize that no one can take your passion and true purpose away from you.
- No one can take away your life, your passions.
- Your self-sufficiency should never depend on external things. Whether you have a significant other or not, you are still self-sufficient.
15. Allow yourself to be with a better partner, let go of old limiting beliefs.
We attract who we are. 
You must realize that you can attract a better partner.
But the paradox is that people themselves do not want to be with the best partner!
Why does this happen to people?
Because after a long relationship man has accustomed himself: “I love my soulmate. I don’t want the best for myself, I want the best for both of us.”
Track these habits in yourself and get rid of them.
People cannot believe that it is possible and necessary to forget a person whom you love unrequitedly and blindly.
16. Don’t look for a new partner out of revenge or to make your old one jealous.
- Don't fall into the trap of your ego! Don't have these low petty selfish motives.
- It is a grave mistake to find new partners only for the purpose of asserting yourself in the eyes of your ex!
- Otherwise, with such actions you will only strengthen the thought in your mind: “She/he is the only one.”
- And then all your selfish actions in order to cause jealousy or out of revenge are a big reaction to your ex-partner.
- Let it all go and enjoy a completely new partner and share your passion with each other.
- Have the perception “Now your ex is a random passerby” and there is no point in thinking about him.
Keep these principles in mind to help you close your questions about how to forget the person you love and see every day.
17. Don’t make the following common mistakes that don’t solve the problem.
What does NOT solve problems after a breakup:
- Alcohol, any substances, random connections of meaning and benefit are zero.
- Attempts to travel or move are all attempts to run away from the problem and pretend that it doesn’t exist. It’s like a soldier was shot in the leg, and he went out on a forced march to run a kilometer and pretends that everything is great for him.
- Remembering negative qualities in ex-person and about negative things in past relationships - this is another absurd advice! Following him, you still think about him! You will spend a lot of energy on these thoughts; negativity takes a lot of energy.
- Thinking about some other person is the most useless advice. This is tantamount to advice not to think about the pink elephant that still pops up in your head. Not thinking is also an action, which also consumes energy.
It’s better to re-read all our advice again and live in harmony. They contain everything you need to understand and do in order to forget the person you love unrequitedly, once and for all.
Are you sad...
I am sad...
Are you sad...
I am sad...
In autumn, as always, the sky is gray
Emptiness. All the passers-by suddenly disappeared
Bad weather rules the city
You are sad and with sad eyes
Seeing off desperate beautiful birds
Flying so far
This is what I... pray for...
Are you sad...
I am sad...
Are you sad...
I am sad...
We understand with bitterness - it was a draw
This game is played, but all the stronger
We are drawn to each other today
Half an hour... Half an hour until midnight...
You and I, like two candles, will burn to the ground
In the infinity of our love
Well, what can I do, how can I help you forget him?
And this is the time that we had to go through together
Let the night shackle everything around with unimaginable melancholy
The autumn rain is noisy, it will wash away all traces
I will learn to love you, I will learn to love
But every day I will tell you this
Don't leave me alone, don't give me to him
I'm talking about this...
I will learn to love you, I will learn to love
But every day I will tell you this
Don't leave me alone, don't give me to him
This is what I... I pray for so much
Are you sad...
You're sad...
I'm sad...
You're sad...
I'm sad...
Fall, as always, the sky streaked with gray
Emptiness. All passers-by suddenly disappeared
City ruled by bad weather
You're sad, and sad eyes
Mourners desperate beautiful birds
Departing so far
This is what I pray...so...
You're sad...
I'm sad...
You're sad...
I'm sad...
With bitterness understand - was a draw
Played this game, but the stronger
Today we are drawn to each other
Half an hour... half an hour before midnight...
We"re like two candles burn down
In the infinity of our love
What am I to do, how to help you to forget
And it's time that we had together to survive
Let's the night pinned all around incredible anguish
Noise autumn rain, he washes away all traces
I will learn to love you, I "ll learn to love
But every day you I will speak
Do not leave me, do not give me to him
That's what I...
I will learn to love you, I "ll learn to love
But every day you I will speak
Do not leave me, do not give me to him
This is what I... pray about it so
Are you sad...
I am sad...
Are you sad...
I am sad...
In autumn, as always, the sky is gray
Emptiness. All the passers-by suddenly disappeared
Bad weather rules the city
You are sad and with sad eyes
Seeing off desperate beautiful birds
Flying so far
This is what I... pray for...
Are you sad...
I am sad...
Are you sad...
I am sad...
We understand with bitterness - it was a draw
This game is played, but all the stronger
We are drawn to each other today
Half an hour... Half an hour until midnight...
You and I, like two candles, will burn to the ground
In the infinity of our love
Well, what can I do, how can I help you forget him?
And this is the time that we had to go through together
Let the night shackle everything around with unimaginable melancholy
The autumn rain is noisy, it will wash away all traces
I will learn to love you, I will learn to love
But every day I will tell you this
Don't leave me alone, don't give me to him
I'm talking about this...
I will learn to love you, I will learn to love
But every day I will tell you this
Don't leave me alone, don't give me to him
This is what I... I pray for so much
Are you sad... You're sad...
I'm sad...
You're sad...
I'm sad...
Fall, as always, the sky streaked with gray
Emptiness. All passers-by suddenly disappeared
City ruled by bad weather
You're sad, and sad eyes
Mourners desperate beautiful birds
Departing so far
That's what I pray... so...
You're sad...
I'm sad...
You're sad...
I'm sad...
With bitterness understand - was a draw
Played this game, but the stronger
Today we are drawn to each other
Half an hour...Half an hour before midnight...
We"re like two candles burned to ashes
In the infinity of our love
Well I do like to help you to forget
And it's time that we had together to survive
Let the night pinned all around incredible anguish
Noise autumn rain, it will wash away all traces of
I will learn to love you, I learned to love
But every day you I will speak
Do not leave me, do not give me to him
That's what I...
I will learn to love you, I learned to love
But every day you I will speak
Do not leave me, do not give me to him
About this... I pray about it so
You're sad...
