Among our friends and relatives, each of us has couples who have been dating for quite a long time, but are in no hurry to get married. From the outside it seems to us that they are happy, in love and even starting conversations about a possible pregnancy. But they don’t say a word about marriage. The female half of the couple, of course, dreams of putting on a white dress and saying the cherished “Yes” at the altar, and the male half runs away from this conversation every time his beloved finishes off with hints. Why don't men want to get married? What is the reason for such infantilism and how to deal with it? Let's figure it out.

Eagles have the ability to perform sexual intercourse in the air without even landing.

Reasons why a man doesn't propose to a woman i

Women's feminism. The most common reason why men are in no hurry to take their beloved to the registry office is a mythical independence, invented by women themselves. The modern phenomenon called feminism has destroyed not a single couple. In their desire to become on the same level as men, women with my own hands, destroy and lead families to divorce. They blur the lines between the sexes, making men effeminate and women masculine and powerful. Many girls have forgotten that they belong to the weaker sex; they have stopped keeping family hearth, preferring a successful career to him.

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Being ashamed of your own genitals is just as stupid as being proud of their shapes and sizes; but pride is better than embarrassment.

Theodore Van Geren

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She told herself: sleep with him, perhaps, but without familiarity.

Karl Kraus

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No matter how badly men think about women, every woman thinks even worse about them.

Nicola de Chamfort

They refuse to have children, citing the fact that they will ruin their figure and lose their profitable income. workplace. Eventually, women no longer rely on their partners; they tend to solve their problems on their own. A man, who has been taught by television since childhood that a woman is a separate independent unit capable of achieving everything on her own, simply does not see the need to legitimize his relationship with a stamp in his passport. After all, marriage is a union of people, female and male. If the family consists of two separate units with “eggs”, nothing good will come of it.

Bad parenting experience. If a woman's chosen one grew up in single-parent family, most likely he will not be in a hurry to create his own. Firstly, he had before his eyes the sad experience of relations between his parents. Constant screaming, scandals, division of property and court hearings are not the brightest prospects for creating a strong family. Secondly, such a man is too attached to his mother.

He is childish and incapable of making informed adult decisions. But you shouldn’t think that all men who grew up without a father are not capable of taking a woman to the registry office. A lot depends on his mother. If a hypothetical mother-in-law managed to arrange her personal life and become happy after the divorce, it is highly likely that her son is also positively disposed towards family life.

A man's desire to be independent. Many guys think that by getting married, they will immediately lose their freedom and independence. Such men are afraid even of the word “wedding.” They love their chosen one, perhaps even remain faithful to her, but do not imagine themselves as a husband and father. To some extent, women themselves provoked their partners to such fears. The weaker sex strives to gain total control over the thoughts and actions of their man. Constant phone calls, surveillance, looking at the phone - all this influenced the guys’ desire to remain single as long as possible.

No love. A couple who does not marry after 3 years of relationship will most likely separate. Everyone knows that love lasts 3 years, then comes a period of wave-like passion. That is, partners can completely cool off towards each other for a while, and after a month or two, wild passion flares up between them again. When people are married, when they value their relationships, they do not need to run to court after every quarrel and dissolve their legal union. It's another matter when a couple simply meets or cohabits. After three years, when the fire in the relationship temporarily goes out, the love passes, they easily decide to separate without ever getting married.

How to guide a man on the right path 2

Of course, every woman wants to become the legal wife of her beloved man. Some girls do extremely rash things. Some people blackmail by limiting sexual intimacy, others go to fortune tellers for a portion of a love potion. There are also those who do not disdain the most sacred things - they invent a non-existent pregnancy. All these methods are initially a failed family option. A man will never be happy himself and will not be able to make his beloved happy if he was forced to decide to get married.

There are more loyal and pleasant ways to persuade a man to get married:

1. Show you care. Ask about your loved one’s well-being, take an interest in what’s going on at work. Surround him with love and affection. In other words, show off your most feminine features. The only limitation is don’t overdo it. Remember that a man can be “loved”!
2. Maintain personal space. There's no need to spend all your time free time together. Give each other a break. There is nothing wrong if your fiance spends the weekend with friends.
3. Don't control a man. You don't need to call him every hour. It is enough to call in the morning to find out how he got to work. And in the evening - say good night.
4. Less jealousy and checking. Men cannot stand jealous women. Yes, they love their girlfriend, but they don’t see her as their wife. Nobody wants to listen to jealous hysterics all day long. Under no circumstances check his phone. If a woman allows herself to do this, she should be prepared for the fact that very unpleasant information may emerge in correspondence. Question: is such truth necessary and what to do with it now?
5. Don't be intrusive. How smaller woman we love, the more she likes us - a well-known fact, but for some reason the girls pretend that they have never heard of this.
6. Let a man be a man. Try not to spend your money on yourself. Tell your man about your desires. Allow him to please you with gifts. And under no circumstances pay for yourself in a restaurant!
7. Don't rush into getting married. In the first months of the relationship, you don’t need to tell your guy what tablecloths you want to see on the tables during the wedding feast. Enjoy relationships outside of marriage. A man should not be rushed; the time will come and he will propose to you.

If a woman still thinks that with further marriage, we advise you to first understand yourself. Why doesn't a man want to get married? Either she chose the wrong man, or she is too actively pursuing marriage. Don't put pressure on your loved ones, give them the opportunity to mature for marriage.

The world has changed, and with it the attitude of young people towards marriage. There is no longer a need to build a house or plant a tree; more and more young people want to maintain independence, live a full, unencumbered life in the status of eternal bachelors. Read about the most common reasons why a man does not want to get married.

1. Fear of responsibility

Yes, the millennial generation finds it difficult to make decisions; they are afraid to repeat the experience of their parents, marry the wrong person, and take on an unbearable burden. A wedding, a mortgage, a child - all this seems frightening to them; many reach maturity well after 30. Added to everything is the problem of choice. Social networks and dating sites open up too large a list of applicants. I don't want to miss out on something worthy. Fierce competition begins, and with it motivation disappears - what if something better is found later?

2. Negative experience received

Today, you don't have to get married to have a stable intimate or romantic relationship. Previously, it was necessary to ring a lady in order to get intimacy or a bowl of soup from her. Now you can move in together and launch a “pilot version” of a relationship, jump from one embrace to another - and no one will say a word to you. There was no longer any need to get married. But the bad experience gained gives men confidence that nothing good will come out of the marriage. Especially if they have already been there: divorces are sobering...

3. Low self-esteem

It's difficult to be an eligible bachelor if you're afraid to talk to the girl you like because your natural self-doubt gets in the way. Unfortunately, the popularity of blogging and social networks fuels the gap between the beautiful and the ordinary, the successful and the losers. Men with low self-esteem jealously monitor their rivals and notice them strengths and they pass because they don’t feel like worthy opponents. All you need to do is stop comparing and start living life to the fullest, realizing your goals.

4. Not meeting beauty standards

It used to be that men were considered prominent grooms, even if they were quite a bit more beautiful than a monkey. Then they looked not at appearance, but at the husband’s performance, his pedigree, and status. Today the rules have changed, women can provide for their own needs. And therefore they want to see stylish men nearby, with a well-built figure and clean shoes. Manners turned out to be important, as was the ability to look after oneself. But few guys got used to it. They do not understand that unfortunate heredity can easily be hidden behind bright charisma and good feeling style.

5. No benefits in divorce

Once upon a time, a woman was a powerless appendage of a man, and divorce did not exist at all. The stronger sex could indulge in any trick without fear of consequences. Today the rules have changed. Now, failure in a relationship can turn into a disaster - a man will lose the opportunity to raise his children (since the courts often take the side of women in this matter), in the same way he loses half of his acquired property and is obliged to pay alimony. Few people will be pleased with such a prospect, so the man does not want to get married or bind himself to any obligations.

6. Loner habits

The longer he lives alone, the faster he gets used to it; the world of entertainment and temptation does not allow him to wallow in boredom. The need for a “hearth keeper” disappears along with technological progress. Its functions are easily replaced by a microwave, vacuum cleaner and washing machine. It's not hard to find a one-night stand either. But no one bothers you, imposes their own rules or demands that the children be killed. A measured, stable life, in which only he has the right to command the parade, to be the center of the Universe... isn’t that impressive? Single men have a lot of free time for a career, development, travel, and this forces them to rethink their role, abandoning traditional family values.

7. Inability to flirt

To get that same girl, you still need to try to get her to engage in dialogue, masterfully using your charm. Many men lose in this competition because they lack emotional intelligence, it is difficult for them to make the right impression, to arouse sympathy. They make a lot of mistakes and make themselves look stupid, which doesn’t add points to them. Why weren't there such problems before? Because marriages were arranged, they were arranged by parents, not particularly interested in the opinions of their children. Now the search for a wife has again become the responsibility of the man, and not all of them are so brave.

8. Excessive workload

On the one side, modern technologies give you the opportunity to earn money from anywhere in the world without leaving your home. On the other hand, a free schedule causes constant overload and stress - it is difficult to turn off all phones and devote yourself to proper rest. And this affects the quality of relationships - men are so busy making money that they stop allocating time for their personal lives and begin to justify their fears with constant business workload. Thus, personal life is postponed to “later”, which may never happen.

If a man doesn't want to get married...

Thousands of other factors can influence a man’s reluctance to marry - personal tragedy in the past, health problems, incorrect upbringing, difficult character... the main thing is that everything can be changed if there is a desire. Don’t look for excuses for yourself, better think, is this the kind of future you wanted? If the bachelor status suits you, then go ahead. But if under external bravado you are hiding deep personal experiences, it’s time to drop your masks and work on yourself

My name is Susanna and I’m 40. After 25 years, women begin to actively want to get married, and men say that they are happy with everything anyway. Let's figure out why this happens and whether it's worth breaking up because of it.
Firstly, the man is really happy with everything: you treat him, feed him, take care of him, listen to him. But he always has the opportunity to quickly leave if something goes wrong.

This is important for indecisive and insecure men who are not confident both in themselves and in their decisions, in their capabilities. They don't know what they want at all. In case of danger, they run away rather than making decisions and being responsible for the consequences.

Most often, such men, when asked: “What do you want from life?”, “What is your dream?”, “What would you like to do in 10 years?”, answer “I don’t know”, “this is too difficult a question” , “what seems wrong to you again?” and so on. Here it is important to understand that if this is just such a period in life, you can stay and support the person, but if this is an approach to life, I recommend not starting a family with such men. You will always be attracted to such a man, and instead of sharing problems (which presupposes marriage), you will get another problem.

Secondly, you are simply not his woman. There’s nothing you can do about it: he feels good, pleasant, nice with you, but he doesn’t see a future with you. You are his girlfriend, but not his wife or mother of his children. It just hasn’t appeared in his life yet real woman, he wouldn’t mind “hanging out” with you, why not?

Thirdly, he had an upbringing in which the value of marriage was reduced to zero (his parents lived for a long time without signing, his father often changed women, he was raised by one mother). Most often, guys follow the example of their father: so if your young man Mom and dad got married only when the child appeared, in 99% of cases your man will follow the same line.
It’s difficult to do something here, but you need to explain to the person that this is important to you. For you, this is one of the most memorable holidays in your life, and you are a woman and want a holiday (this is normal, don’t let anyone convince you otherwise), especially since it only happens once.

Explain why you personally want this and why society puts a lot of pressure on you, as a woman, and why it’s normal to succumb to this pressure.
After all, society and stereotypes also put pressure on him: “a man should make a career”, “a man should be successful”, “a man can afford to drink beer with friends”, explain to a man that stereotypes put pressure on a woman with the same force: “a guy is not serious, you can ask her out, but her husband is another matter”, “an unmarried woman is more insecure”, “dad doesn’t want to help the family business if there is no family (well, what kind of dad would give money to his daughter’s boyfriend?)”, “ring on the finger - men don’t pester, women envy, and parents are calm.”

Don't be afraid to explain that marriage is as natural to you as a career is to him.

Fourthly, he is highly dependent on the opinions of his friends. He has friends who will say: “henpecked”, “yeah, she’s ringed”, “rag”. It’s sad, of course, that he has such friends (by the way, most often men from the first point have them: insecure). But it’s even sadder that he cannot answer them adequately. Here you need to think: do you need a man for whom the opinions of his friends will always be more important than yours? If he often consults with friends before making an important decision in life concerning the two of you, you should be wary.

Such guys often ask their friends if they liked his girlfriend, which in itself is not normal. Just think about it: he is so insecure that he cannot even understand whether his girlfriend is good or not. He definitely needs someone else's opinion. In my opinion, it's the trouble, not the man.

Fifth, you asked too early. For example, a week after the start of a relationship. Set a deadline for yourself: a year, two, three. More than three years is not too early, the reason is different.

Sixth, he has a list of things he wants to achieve before he gets married.

Ask directly what he must have in order to get married? If he says: I won’t get married until I buy an apartment, become a boss, earn a million, buy a car, can’t provide for my family - then maybe it’s worth waiting if you see that he really wants to achieve all this.

Is it worth breaking up if you have been wanting to get married for a long time, but he doesn’t want to? It’s worth it, if you’re seriously asking this question, most likely the reason is somewhat deeper than just a stamp in your passport - most likely you’re just not sure about it.

For a woman, everything is simple: if you love, get married. But not all men are ready to propose marriage even after many years of marriage. Remember that it is impossible to force a guy to get married with the help of pre-wedding propaganda. You need to understand the reason behind his hesitancy towards marriage and then take action.

Parents' experience

Why don't young guys want to get married? One of the most common reasons for the fear of ringing oneself is childhood trauma. Men who had to observe regular conflicts between parents at a young age are afraid of a repetition of such situations in their family. Therefore, they are not always in a hurry to start their own. But it's worth noting that this doesn't always happen.

If a girl is faced with such a problem, then she will have to realize the complexity of the work that she has to do in order to build the most trusting relationship with her partner. Moreover, sometimes you will have to prove that family relationships can be happy and prosperous.

The desire to remain free and independent

When a guy says he doesn't want to get married, most likely he wants to maintain his independence. I don’t want to upset the girls, but a loving man always strives to spend maximum time with his beloved and very rarely asks for freedom. But, of course, there are exceptions.

As you know, a man’s desire for independence is considered absolutely normal. But very often in relationships with the opposite sex they tend to demand absolute obedience. Therefore, when a man sees that his chosen one has her own opinion and often does not agree with him, then he has no desire to make her his wife. A girl who is in a relationship with such a guy should consider a future together with her chosen one. Namely, whether she is ready to accept the conditions.

When there's no love

Why get married? The most common reason associated with the fact that a man is in no hurry to propose is a possible lack of love. He probably experienced it before strong feelings, but they tend to fade over time. This is important to remember. Therefore, if you notice that a young man has become cold towards you, then, most likely, he is simply whiling away time with you until he finds a suitable reason for breaking up or a more attractive option.

Many girls find it difficult to believe that the chosen one could do this. But you should understand that most men who love their chosen one are ready to marry her.

Different ideas about family life

What to do if a guy doesn't want to get married? In some situations, the reason must be sought in views on family life. It often happens that a woman is focused on her career; accordingly, she does not want children or has not yet seriously thought about this. The chosen one, on the contrary, wants to get married and have children. With such opposing views on a joint future, doubts arise about the correctness of their choice.

Most loving men tend to wait. Therefore, until the last moment he will hope that the girl will eventually accept his point of view.

Plan

What to do if a guy doesn't want to get married? Make plans and take action. So, you are sure that your chosen one is mature and ready for marriage. It is very important that the role of the future wife belongs exclusively to you. According to statistics, about 27% of guys who are ready for family life, marry completely random chosen ones.

In order for everything to be the way you want, you need to act according to a pre-thought-out plan:

1. Make him feel like you are irreplaceable. This does not mean that you need to spend a huge amount of time in the kitchen in order to please your loved one with another delicious dish. You should try to become a reliable friend and soul mate for him. It doesn't matter whether he tells you the specifics of running his business. The main thing is that he feels your support, and also sees admiration for his success in your eyes.
2. Prepare for viewing several melodramas that will be shown positive sides married life. In some cases this really helps.
3. Don't show your dependence on him. Get busy with your life, namely work, study or hobbies. Men tend to value independent women more.
4. Stir up his interest. You can flirt with another guy to make your crush jealous. A girl's popularity among guys only increases her importance in the eyes of her chosen one.
5. Show him the difference between life with you and without you. You can go on a business trip or on vacation to visit your family. He must miss you, call you and call you back home.

Why doesn't a guy want to get married? What to do? Have you done everything listed above, but your chosen one is still in no hurry to call you to the registry office? Then you need to resort to the help of “extreme” advice. Give him an ultimatum: “either marriage or nothing.” Most men who really love their chosen one get married.

A man of twenty...

Why doesn't a guy want to get married? We live together, but he doesn’t want to sign. Girls are different, some are bothered by civil marriage, while others, on the contrary, do not want to get married early. The personal attitude of a guy aged 20 to 30 towards marriage is most often negative. Young people at this age are focused on finding a well-paid job, buying a decent car and acquiring their own home. The girl needs to understand that this is very good qualities, and she can be sure that she has chosen a worthy chosen one. Most men in their early 20s don't think about getting married.

Girls should think about relationships in the following cases:

1. They have been together for more than three years, but the chosen one avoids marriage.
2. He is soon 30 years old, but he still does not think about marriage.
3. Your man is a supporter of the opinion that it is necessary to first have fun and then get married.

If you are ready to wait until your man gets his own place and invites you there, then you should not be sure that Mendelssohn’s march will follow. Perhaps by that time your chosen one will get used to the fact that you lived with him in a rented apartment, accepting all the conditions without marriage. Accordingly, he has already tested the waters and understands perfectly well that you are unlikely to leave him if the wedding is postponed for another couple of years.

If you are ready to accept the conditions of living together without painting, then pay attention to the attitude of your chosen one towards you and life in general. A person with high potential rarely sits in front of the TV or spends hours hanging out with friends. He has a clear idea of ​​what he wants to get out of life. Loving man asks his girlfriend’s opinion about children together and shares her plans for the future.

Man after 30 years

Why doesn't a guy want to get married? The reasons that lie in the reluctance to ring yourself after 30 years are very banal. When men reach this age, they tend to look at women with different eyes. He is looking for a chosen one who is ready to make his life fun and easy. A woman should be able to support her man in a difficult situation. Only then will he be ready to take responsibility for her and the children. If you are still an eccentric girl who can make a drama out of every little thing, then your chosen one is most likely in no hurry to marry you precisely for this reason.

Of course, a lot depends on the age at which a man became successful. If a representative of the stronger sex has achieved almost everything he wanted, then he seriously begins to think about starting a family. But if a man has crossed the thirty-year mark, and his career has not yet worked out, then he will not think about marriage. The main thing for him remains observation successful people, as well as attempts to become equal to them in order to achieve prosperity.

Why doesn't a guy want to get married after thirty? Most likely, this is a meaningful decision, and not just fear. The woman’s task in this case is to make it clear to the chosen one that if he does not want to tie them up in the near future life together marriage ties, you will have to look for new girl. Of course, it can be difficult for representatives of the fairer sex to decide on such a rash step. You are probably afraid that he will leave after your words. But it is important to remember that the white light did not converge on anyone. And if a man leaves you, it means he doesn’t have love. Yes, you made a mistake in choosing a partner, but it doesn’t matter. Dry your tears and go ahead and find a man who you truly deserve and who can appreciate your feelings.

A man of forty...

Why doesn't a guy want kids and get married? Almost all men get married by the age of 40. If a guy is single, then there must be serious reasons for this. He may have been very unlucky in love and is afraid to dive back into a committed relationship. He probably devotes his whole life to his work and simply cannot imagine anyone else in it.

If a man who is over 40 years old lives alone, then he is so comfortable. Such a person needs a woman only to satisfy his sexual needs. It is unlikely that he will consider his partner to start a family.

If a man became lonely because of a divorce, then most likely he will not marry again, as he has become very cautious. But the hunting instinct may have played out very strongly in him.

It's not easy to ring a forty-year-old man. And a woman must understand that she has difficult work ahead of her. But if a representative of the fair sex can become a soul mate for him and will support him in difficult situations, then she has a chance.

He won't marry

The guy loves, but does not want to get married. What to do? You can continue to agree to a guest marriage, or you can analyze the situation, draw conclusions, and then make a decision on what to do next.

Let's look at the main signs that a man most likely will not marry you:

1. He's already married. And to believe that someday he will divorce in order to take you as his wife is completely pointless. This is perhaps the most common trap that single women fall into. Often married men they look good, have a stable income, reason correctly and appreciate the most important things in life. Of course, this is an ideal option for starting a family. Only now he already has a family. Don’t fall into such traps; sometimes women cannot get out of them for years. And they waste a huge amount of time, during which they would have long been able to build their happy family.
2. You don't know his parents and friends. If your relationship lasts more than six months, then think about why your chosen one is in no hurry to introduce you to people close to him.
3. He never discusses joint plans for the future with you. A man in love always makes plans related to his beloved. He will even discuss purchases in the store with you, and even more so about trips, vacations, goals, etc.
4. He flirts with other girls in front of you. A good and strong family is built only on respect. A man who allows himself to make eyes at or compliment other women does not respect his chosen one.
5. Not jealous. It is usually said that strong personalities are devoid of feelings of jealousy. Maybe it is so. But if a guy doesn’t show any emotions, seeing his girlfriend flirting left and right, then this indicates his indifference to her.
6. You have been dating for over two years. Of course, a marriage proposal can come after 5 years of living together. But statistics show that 2 years of relationship is more than enough for a man to understand whether he is ready to marry his chosen one. The guy gets used to having the girl next to him, so he is in no hurry to propose to her. What for?! She's not going anywhere anyway.
7. He avoids talking about family life. Most often he laughs it off during any conversation on the topic of weddings and children.
8. Long-term long-distance relationships. He makes no attempt to move to your city, nor does he invite you to move in with him. Perhaps you meet a couple of times a month, and that's just enough for him. Remember that such relationships are almost never brought to the registry office.
9. If you do not receive moral or material support from a man when you need it, then you can be sure that you may not receive a marriage proposal.
10. He openly tells you that he is not in the mood to get married. In this case, try not to create illusions that everything will change soon.

Psychologists' opinions

What to do when a guy doesn't want to get married? The advice of a psychologist suggests in this case a transition to specific actions:

Hardly loving guy doesn't want to get married. A psychologist will only confirm this statement. Of course, you can listen to many opinions about your situation from family, friends or relatives, but only you can see the true attitude of your chosen one towards you. Draw conclusions in a timely manner. And never indulge yourself with illusions.