Two dates

Psychics and magicians talk about the multivariate nature of the future and promise any development of events in their sessions. Psychologists assure us that with the help of special psychotechniques it is even possible to guess the “rainy day” and move it as far as possible.
Undoubtedly, every person has a choice of directions in which the path of life can change in one direction or the other. But... as numerous facts and ancient treatises testify, these changes concern only the basis of life and can occur within two initially programmed dates - the day of arrival into this world and the day of departure. We can influence the quality of our lives, but we cannot change the most important dates.
Researchers from Stanford (California, USA) recently completed an experiment called “Life Span”, which began... 90 years ago, in 1921. More than one and a half thousand children participated in the experiment and were monitored throughout their lives. The analysis of the results surprised the scientists. It turned out that people with good feeling humorists who had a happy childhood behind them lived, on average, shorter than others. It also turned out that love for pets, contrary to popular belief, does not prolong life. But marriage, like divorce, does not affect health in any way. Those who are loved and cared for feel happier throughout their lives, but this also does not affect its duration.

The blind clairvoyant Vanga believed that no one would escape what was prescribed by fate.

Own way
Let's turn to the great clairvoyant and soothsayer Vanga. The niece and personal biographer of the Bulgarian fortuneteller Krasimir Stoyanov in her book “Vanga: Confession of a Blind Clairvoyant” gives the following dialogue:

If it so happens that you see, with the inner vision given to you from above, an imminent misfortune or even the death of a person who has come to you, can you do something so that you can avoid misfortune?

No, neither I nor anyone else can do anything.

And if troubles, even catastrophic ones, threaten not just one person, but a group of people, an entire city, or a state, is it possible to prepare something in advance?

It's useless.

Does a person’s fate depend on his inner, moral strength, and physical abilities? Is it possible to influence fate?

It is forbidden. Everyone will go their own way, and only their own.”

Sathya Sai Baba made a mistake in predicting the date of his own death.

Gloomy visions

Some people secretly feel the approach of their death. This manifests itself differently for everyone. Someone is trying to put all their affairs in order. Someone begins to become interested in the structure of the universe, to think about the meaning of life, God, and the soul. And someone becomes despondent, loses interest in life, as if physically and psychologically preparing themselves for the transition to another form of existence.
The ability to predict one’s death is most clearly demonstrated in the works of poets and writers. Moreover, often the authors in their works not only foresaw the approach of their end, but also described in detail the circumstances of their death.

Nikolai Rubtsov predicted that he would die in winter.

Nikolai Rubtsov prophetically wrote in one of his poems:

“I will die in the Epiphany frosts,
I will die when the birches crack.”

Although nothing foreshadowed the tragedy then, he died on January 19, Epiphany.
Fyodor Sologub, in a poem in 1913, 14 years before his death, predicted to himself:

“Darkness will destroy me in December.
I will stop living in December.”

“In the midday heat in the valley of Dagestan
I lay motionless with lead in my chest.”

It happened as the poet foresaw. He died in a duel after being shot by Martynov.
And here the question remains controversial: either the writers really “saw” something from the future thanks to intuition, or, again, thanks to the gift of imagination and the ability to create their own worlds, they formed their own model of care.
In all likelihood, poets somehow gain knowledge about the future from their subconscious, listening to the inner self, which is closely connected with the Higher Mind - the repository where there are answers to all existing questions.
This fact is also surprising: many people who do not have the gift of foresight and do not know when their earthly journey will end can easily answer how this will happen.

John Lennon became a hermit shortly before his death.

And it also happens that a person is afraid of something and with his fears attracts tragic events. It was not for nothing that the ancients said: “We ourselves invite guests to the feast of our thoughts.”
The writer Venedikt Erofeev wrapped himself in scarves all his life, buttoning his collar tightly, as if he was protecting himself from a future incurable disease, which later overtook him. The writer died of throat cancer.
The legendary musician John Lennon, shortly before his death, suddenly became a hermit, hiding in his house. As if anticipating an upcoming assassination attempt, he stopped communicating with the world and stopped going out. Moreover, according to the recollections of his loved ones, he began to become interested in the topic of murder, fearfully imagining how a person feels when a bullet enters his body.
It has been noticed that people who are destined for a short life live it very brightly and fruitfully, trying to do everything in time. They say about them: they were in a hurry to live. How many brilliant poets have left our world in at a young age, leaving the greatest creative legacy for descendants (M.Yu. Lermontov died at the age of 26, Sergei Yesenin died at 30). While other long-lived talents began to realize their great plans only after 40-50 years. There are many artists who created their works over the age of 70. Titian painted the best paintings for almost 100 years. Verdi, Strauss and many other composers composed music until they were 80 years old.

"The time has come"

There is an assumption that our soul knows about the time allotted to us, and when this time comes, it pushes a person to a critical situation. You can recall the story of the death of the wonderful poet and singer Igor Talkov. The tragedy occurred behind the scenes of the Yubileiny Sports Palace. Singer Aziza asked Talkov, through her friend Igor Malakhov, to perform in front of her, since she did not have time to prepare. But the singer did not agree. A conflict arose, during which Talkov was killed by a pistol shot. The singer's director Valery Shlyafman was accused of unintentional murder, having tried to snatch the pistol from the hands of another person and accidentally pulled the trigger. But, as we know, there are no accidents.
According to the recollections of Talkov’s widow Tatyana, the singer never carried a weapon with him, but for some reason that day he took a gas pistol to the concert. And when a generally harmless argument flared up, he was the first to take out a weapon and start shooting in the air, thereby provoking Malakhov to grab his pistol, loaded with live ammunition. And, who knows, maybe if Talkov had not taken a weapon with him, everything would have worked out. But, most likely, the inner command of the soul worked that day - “the time has come”, and the entire subsequent scenario was built in accordance with this.
Ancient eastern texts contain knowledge that a person comes into this world precisely when the need arises for general evolutionary development, and leaves it at the hour when the mission is completed. Not earlier and not later. And it is very important to realize that death is not only inevitable and is part of the universal world order, but also that death is not the end, but a transition of consciousness to a higher spiritual level.

Incredible facts

It happens that misfortunes suddenly fall into our lives like a snowball.

Everything is getting out of control and it seems that the troubles will never end.

People tend to look for reasons for such bad luck, and perhaps we have the answer.

If you have these items in your home, throw them away or try to find replacements, otherwise they will create chaos in your life.

Signs and superstitions in the house

1. Dead objects

If you forgot to water your flowers and the leaves start to dry out, it's time to say goodbye to them. Keeping such flowers in the house is a big failure.

Dead objects also include stuffed animals and birds, and even shells. Clean your shelves regularly to prevent bad aura from lingering on them.

2. Photographs and paintings of disasters

If you have images of disasters in your home, it will bring you trouble. Other natural phenomena, such as heavy rain or a snowstorm, that cause negative emotions in you, can also be classified as objects with bad energy. If, looking at a picture of rain, you experience romantic or tender feelings, then you can leave it.

3. Unpaired items

Many of us have a boot, slippers or skis lying around the house that have lost a pair. We keep these items because they are dear to us or make us nostalgic for old times. It's time to send them to the landfill if you want to avoid problems.

4. Stopped clock

Always make sure all clocks in your home are working. A stopped clock predicts death in the family. If you can't repair them, it's time for you to get rid of them.

5. Tattered Broom

Everything you use in your home for cleaning should be in good condition. If all that's left of your broom is scraps, but you feel bad about throwing it away, it's time to reconsider your views. Buy a new broom, otherwise the old one will bring financial losses to the house.

6. Photos you don't like

It is logical that it is better not to store all items that cause you depression and sadness. Negative emotions will accumulate and you will find it difficult to find happiness.

Signs and beliefs at home

7. Small debris in your pockets, wallet and bag

Big problems usually start with smaller ones. All the garbage that we carry with us brings disharmony into our lives.

8. Anything you haven’t used for more than 3 years

If an item has not been used for a long time, energy stagnates and this hinders the progress and development of your life. There is no need to keep something in the house that you are unlikely to ever use in practice.

9. Broken glass

Broken glass, including mirrors, reflective glass and other fragile items, creates a gap in your protection. According to legend, mirrors stole souls, and therefore, when someone died, the mirrors in the house were always covered so that the deceased spirit would not get stuck inside the mirror.

10. Old things

If you can't throw away your old things, donate them to charity. Don't store items of clothing that you don't plan to wear.

11. Expired calendar

If this desk calendar, make sure it shows the correct month and day. Since this item reminds us of a bygone time, it misuse may have a negative impact on your life, such as shortening it.

12. Broken or cracked dishes

If you see a crack on a plate or cup, don’t hesitate to throw it away. The thing is that dishes symbolize wealth and family. When you eat from broken dishes, you subconsciously bring trouble and misfortune upon yourself.

13. Spiny plants

According to some signs, cacti in the house and plants with thorns (with the exception of roses) attract negative energy and failure in the house.

14. Empty rocking chair

A rocking chair attracts dark forces so that they sit there. It’s even worse if you suddenly see the chair begin to rock on its own. This suggests that an evil spirit has already taken up residence and can bring misfortune and death to the house.

15. Green walls

This color is considered unlucky for walls, as previously arsenic was used for green wallpaper and fabrics. When they got wet, the poisonous gas killed people. Times have changed, but the sign remains.

Alexander asks:"Hello. I ask you to answer a question that has interested me for a long time. To be precise, it is one of the most important questions for me at this moment. Is there a predestination of fate or situations from God? If any bad/negative/undesirable/critically terrible event happens in a person's life, then from whom is it? How to find out? Is this a test from God, or did man do it to himself out of foolishness, or did the devil plant a bomb on him at one time? How can you find out? Tell me please."

Peace to you, Alexander!

Jesus was once asked about a man who suffered from birth:

Jesus answered like this:

Another example:

1 At this time some came and told him about the Galileans, whose blood Pilate had mixed with their sacrifices.

2 Jesus said to them, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the Galileans, that they suffered so much?”

3 No, I tell you, but unless you repent, you will all perish in the same way.

4 Or do you think that those eighteen people on whom the tower of Siloam fell and killed them were more guilty than all those living in Jerusalem?

5 No, I tell you, but unless you repent, you will all perish in the same way.

6 And he spoke this parable: A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came looking for fruit on it, and found none;

7 And he said to the vinedresser, “Behold, I have come for the third year looking for fruit on this fig tree, and have not found it; cut it down: why does it occupy the land?

8 But he answered him: Master! leave it for this year too, while I dig it up and cover it with manure, -

9 whether it bears fruit; if not, then next [year] you will cut it down.

In this matter two key points:

1) Who is to blame? Who is causing the situation?

2) Can a person do something? What is a person's responsibility?

Answer options for the first key point - guilty God, devil, man, chance.

Answer options to the second key point - a person cannot do anything, he can (but not everything), a person is completely responsible for everything that happens in his life.

Alexander, your question is ideological. In different periods of time, different theologians have interpreted it differently and given different answers. After all, the doctrine of predestination and free will did not arise out of nowhere. In particular, in the doctrine of "theodicy" ("theodicy") - the justification of God by the fact that there is human choice (freedom).

I will say more, the “future” of a person, the course of his life, depends on the personal answer to this question. And here, more than ever, the truth of Scripture is reflected - according to your faith may it be done to you. Any answer that will be given can be disputed by someone outside, but can be confirmed by the life experience of a particular character.

I just want to follow along with you logical continuation each of the answer options. I will describe the extreme positions of views.

• If God is to blame for suffering, then God may not be kind, then He cannot be trusted to avoid suffering, He may be indifferent or even cruel. We live in an aggressive world, there is no absolute good, “man is a wolf to man.”

• If the devil is to blame for suffering, then there is a spiritual struggle, our fate depends on the choice of side, being on one of the sides does not provide absolute protection precisely because of the struggle.

• If the person himself is to blame, the cause-and-effect relationship determines our life. We ourselves provoke our own (and not only) problems. We ourselves can correct them in the future (or vice versa - we cannot, due to the previous choice).

• If chance is to blame, there is little that can be influenced, because we are just an accident in this Universe, no one controls it, and we do not control it. We can just live while we have such an opportunity, a lot depends on us. There is no higher plan.

Personally, my understanding is somewhere between the second and third approaches - that there is a spiritual struggle in which a person makes a choice and bears responsibility. On the one hand, a lot depends on a person’s choice, but on the other hand, not everything depends, because there are higher and more powerful forces than one person by himself.

What can a person do (again, we go through the options):

• nothing - we are passive observers of certain collective processes,

• something can - it makes sense to make efforts, but you need help from above
• all situations depend only on personal choice - responsibility lies only with me, everything that is in my life depends only on me, and not on God, Satan, collective processes and other things.

To explain the arguments, strengths and weaknesses of each position, you need to write books or give lectures...

Therefore, my understanding is brief: suffering can be provoked both by our choice and by the result of the enemy’s actions. This does not mean that all suffering must be reconciled, but it also does not mean that all suffering can be completely corrected. Those. I try my best, I do what depends on me, I make efforts - but the result objectively depends on a whole complex of factors, in addition to my activity (from other people, circumstances, “blessings from above”, etc.). Therefore, we pray to God and ask for guidance from His will.

To summarize, I will quote the words of this prayer:

“Lord, give me the courage to change the things I can change, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. And give me the wisdom to tell the difference.”

God's blessings to you,

Read more on the topic “Morality of choice, ethics”:

When faced with a black streak, we like to blame circumstances for everything or even suspect damage. But sometimes ordinary things are to blame for everything, which attract poverty and stagnation to the home.

Often the flow of life is “littered” thanks to our own efforts. You can avoid this if you do away with things that bring only troubles and troubles. Even when everything is going well in life, from time to time it is worth conducting a kind of audit. You can turn cleaning into a ritual: both psychologists and feng shui experts will unanimously say that by cleaning the living space around you, a person begins to feel better. When we sort out our closets, we organize our thoughts.

10 things that attract negativity to your home

What is it that esotericists, and even folk signs?

1. Broken glass. This could be a cracked window, a broken mirror, or a mug with a broken handle. Do not keep them at home, because broken glass symbolizes a gap in protection.

2. Old things. Worn clothes, newspapers or magazines that you will no longer read - all this belongs in the past and in a landfill. If suddenly a blouse that is so dear to you never fits you, and you don’t dare throw it away, it’s better to give it to charity.

3. “Dead” things. The first among them are dried flowers. Many housewives love such compositions. But everything that has become obsolete is the necrotic energy of withering. The same list can include stuffed animals, dried butterflies or beetles, animal horns and bird feathers. Of course, there are also exceptions to the rules: if the herbarium from your beloved daughter when she was little is carefully kept in your desk, there will be no harm from it. The same applies to feathers or horns that decorate rooms without being taken from a killed animal. Vacation shells should only be kept as souvenirs by those who regularly care for them. But the rest is better to give away or throw away. And dried up houseplants are definitely the first candidates for landfill, until they join the list of energy vampire things.

4. Any item that has not been used for more than three years. Even if it is completely new, the energy of stagnation begins to accumulate in it. Either give it a second life, or think about it. Perhaps it’s time to add somewhere a table that you haven’t sat at for ten years, and those same trousers from the sale, just like new, but obviously the wrong size?

5. Small trash in your pocket or purse. Big things begin with small things. It’s unlikely that all these candy wrappers and tickets are happy ones?

6. Photos you don't like. The negativity that you experience when looking at a photo is absorbed by your own image over and over again. This way you can even accidentally jinx yourself.

7. A clock that is standing. Stopping time is a very bad sign. Either take them for repairs, or throw them away without a second thought. At worst, you can turn a heavy grandfather clock into a piece of furniture, for example, into a table, and a wall clock into a photo frame or hanger.

8. Unpaired things. A ski (one), a ski pole (one) or a slipper (of course, one) tucked behind a shoe rack deserves special attention. Such household items will no longer be useful and only interfere with making new purchases, blocking energy.

9. A frayed broom. It’s worth mentioning separately about the broom. A broom, mop, broom are not just cleaning tools. The broom is associated with many signs about brownies - assistants in your home and those responsible, among other things, for your material well-being. An old, bald broom leads to drying up finances. Therefore, everything you use to put things in order must itself be kept in order.

10. Paintings and photographs depicting storms, storms or bad weather. True, if you think that watercolors with rain are lyrical and very beautiful, you can leave them. Just take a closer look and feel what is depicted: if the picture brings disturbing thoughts, it is better to find another owner for it.

By the way, not only “unlucky” things bring trouble and misfortune. Sometimes even talismans can cause failure if they are used incorrectly. For example, not everyone knows how to hang a horseshoe correctly for good luck. The correct answer is so that it forms a bowl shape. Otherwise, your “cup” is turned upside down, and no happiness will linger in it. And decorative brooms for good luck are usually attached with a broom downwards, so that the house will please the brownie.

To prevent trouble from lingering on your doorstep, protect your home with effective amulets and spells. Do the cleaning in a timely manner, you can light candles in the rooms from time to time: they clean the house well of negativity. And don't forget to press the buttons and

24.10.2016 04:16

Many superstitions warn of failures and misfortunes, but a bad prediction should not become a reason for...

At first it will not be easy to accept the loss, but you have the opportunity not to plunge deeper into your condition and try to cope with stress.

The most terrible test in life is death and the pain of loss.

As practice shows, it is impossible to fully prepare for the death of a loved one, even if he was sick, and such an outcome has already been determined by doctors. Such a loss usually results in serious emotional distress and depression. After this, the grieving person himself may, as it were, “fall out of life” for a long period of time.

Unfortunately, it doesn't exist fast way get out of the depressed state caused by death loved one, however, it is necessary to take measures to ensure that this misfortune does not result in a severe form of depression for you. Typically after death close relative or a friend, people begin to feel guilty, feeling that they did not do all the good for the deceased that he deserved. Many thoughts related to the deceased person scroll through the head, which causes general depression.

4 stages of grief

1. Shock and shock. For some, this stage may last a few minutes, while others plunge into a similar state for many days. A person cannot fully comprehend what has happened; it is as if he is in a “frozen” state. From the outside it may even seem that the tragic incident did not have much impact on him, but in fact he is simply in the deepest shock.

2. Rejection and complete denial, depression. The person does not want to accept what happened and think about what will happen next. The realization that life will never be the same again seems terrible to him, and he tries in every possible way to forget himself, just not to think about what happened. From the outside it may seem that the person is numb. He either avoids or does not support all conversations about loss. However, there is another extreme - increased fussiness. In the second case, the mourner actively begins to engage in some kind of business - sorting through the things of the deceased, finding out all the circumstances of the tragedy, organizing a funeral, and so on. As a result, sooner or later the understanding comes that life has changed dramatically, which leads to stress, and then to depression.

3. Awareness of loss. The full realization of what happened comes. It can happen completely suddenly. For example, a person involuntarily reaches for the phone to call a relative or friend, and suddenly understands why this is no longer possible. Also, awareness can come gradually. Having passed the stage of denial, a person begins to replay in his head many events related to the deceased.

This stage may be accompanied by outbursts of anger and resentment. What is happening seems unfair and nightmarish, and the awareness of the irreparable situation angers and worries. Many options are being considered in which the outcome could have been different. The person begins to get angry with himself, believing that it was in his power to prevent the misfortune. He also pushes other people away, becoming irritable and depressed.

4. Acceptance and mourning. This stage usually occurs within a few months. In particularly difficult cases, the situation may drag on. Having gone through the most acute stages of grief, a person begins to come to terms with what happened. His life has been flowing in a different direction for some time, and he is beginning to get used to it, gradually “rebuilding.” Memories of the deceased make him sad, and periodically he mourns a dear person.

How to help someone cope with the death of loved ones

Trying to help their neighbor better bear the loss, many try to find a way to completely distract him from what happened, avoiding conversations on this topic. But this is not always correct. Please review general guidelines for assistance in such situations.

Don't ignore conversations about the deceased

If less than six months have passed since the tragedy, then you should understand that the thoughts of your friend or relative most often revolve around it. Sometimes it is very important for him to speak out, and sometimes to cry. Do not fence yourself off from these emotions, do not force a person to suppress them in yourself, remaining alone with their experiences. Of course, if a lot of time has passed and all conversations are about the deceased, then they should be dosed.

Distract the bereaved from their grief

At first, the mourner will not be interested in anything - he will only need moral support from you. However, after several weeks, it is worth periodically giving a person’s thoughts a different direction. Insistently invite him to interesting places, sign up for exciting courses together, and the like.

Redirect the sufferer's attention

Often people are somewhat distracted from the events that have occurred when they realize that someone else needs their help. Show the mourner that you need him in a given situation. Caring for a pet can also significantly speed up the process of overcoming depression. If you see that a person has a lot of free time, which results in immersion in his own experiences, then give him a puppy or a kitten, or simply give him a “temporary” foster care, saying that there is nowhere to place him yet. Over time, he himself will not want to give up his new friend.

1. Don’t refuse help from loved ones

Don't push away people who seek to support you in your grief. Share your experiences with them, take an interest in their lives - communication will help you not to lose touch with the outside world and not become immersed in your own state.

2. Take care and take care of yourself

Many people experiencing the pain of loss give up on their appearance and in general – for any kind of self-care. And yet, this is the one minimum required, which you should not forget about - washing your hair, bathing, brushing your teeth, washing things. The same applies to eating. It’s clear that you don’t need any of this right now, and all your thoughts are occupied with other things, but still don’t ignore your needs.

3. Write a letter to the person who has passed away

Surely, you believe that you didn’t have time to tell your loved one a lot, you didn’t confess a lot. Spit out all the unsaid things on paper. Write how much you miss this person, what you would do if he were around, what you regret, and so on.

4. Don't suppress emotions

You may feel that if you try to suppress external manifestations grief, then in this way you will quickly cope with the misfortune that has fallen on you. However, you simply “lock” your emotions and experiences and do not allow them to break free. It’s better to cry out your grief - it will be easier for you.

5. Try to distract yourself

Of course, right now there is nothing more important to you than your loss, but do not forget that your life goes on, as do the lives of those who are dear to you. Undoubtedly, many of them also experience better times and need your support. Communicate with your loved ones, together it will be easier for you to survive this pain.

6. Help from a psychologist

Some find it very difficult to come to terms with their new situation on their own. If you realize that the situation is getting worse and your depression has dragged on, make an appointment with a psychologist - he will advise you on how to cope with the bitterness of loss.

How to accept the departure of a relative to another world

What does the church and Orthodoxy say about this?

To make the afterlife easier for the deceased, the church teaches to believe in the mercy of God, light candles in the church for the repose of the soul and read prayers for the deceased. You should also make a bloodless sacrifice - we are talking about alms and helping the suffering. It is believed that God will be able to hear your prayers if you honor his commandments. You should especially not neglect this in the first forty days after the death of a loved one. If you are not sure how to do everything correctly, go to the nearest church and consult with the priest.

Is it possible to prepare for the death of a loved one?

If a person is terminally ill, spend more time with him

If the person is unconscious, provide full care for him, and still spend a lot of time with him. Talk to the patient, talk about your fondest memories connected with him, say everything you wanted to say, but didn’t have time. It is likely that the person will actually hear you - many patients who have emerged from a coma have admitted that they remember everything that was said to them while they were unconscious.

Work involves constant risk - appreciate every moment you live

The best thing you can do is to convince him to change his job, even if it brings a high income. In the event of an irreparable situation, you will certainly blame yourself for not insisting on changing jobs. Consider with him other options for earning money, but be sure to convince him to change his field of activity, because even if nothing terrible happens, this will not relieve you of constant stress and worry.

An elderly relative returns - accept the inevitability of imminent death

It is important for both you and him to spend more time together. Older people often like to remember stories of their youth; they are interested in everything that happens in the lives of their children and grandchildren, and they are very happy when people ask for their opinion. It is in your power to make the final stage of your loved one’s life happy and bright.

The death of a beloved pet - how to overcome mental anguish

1. Accept the inevitability of what is happening. Of course, you understand that quite a few animals have a lifespan comparable to that of a human. If your cat, dog or other pet is seriously ill or is elderly, be sure to consult a doctor who will tell you how you can improve your pet’s life. Also ask if your four-legged friend is suffering and how you can help him in his situation.

2. Take a photo for memory. The first time after the death of a cat or dog, it will not be easy for you to look at this photo, but some time will pass, and the image of your beloved pet, as well as the memories of it, will be able to bring a smile to your face.

3. Be there often. Pamper the animal, allow it to play pranks, feed it its favorite foods, take care of it, pet it more often. Make sure that he is happy and in the most comfortable situations for himself. Tell other family members about what may soon happen - prepare them, and give them a similar opportunity to enjoy "communication" with your pet.

4. After death. No matter whether the death was predictable or sudden, coping with it is equally difficult.

• Don't bottle up your emotions and let your emotions out as often as you need. This is a natural human reaction to the loss of communication with a dear being. Share your experiences with loved ones - they will probably want to hold you.
• This is a big test for all family members - perhaps some of them need your support.
• Many owners feel guilty after the death of a pet if it occurred prematurely. Don’t blame yourself or a loved one for what happened.
• Tell people you care about about your experiences. Surely, they will want to support you, and this way you will cope with the loss easier.
• Help other suffering animals. Undoubtedly, there is more than one shelter in your city, and in general there are many animals on the streets that need protection. It is possible that you will eventually become attached to one of them and want to bring it into your home. Undoubtedly, he will never replace your beloved four-legged friend, but you can save the animal from adversity and find another comrade among “our little brothers.”

What to do if you are depressed after the death of a loved one?

Every day on Earth, for various reasons, a huge number of people die, leaving behind loved ones who sincerely mourn them. Experiencing bereavement in the form of depression or even deep grief after the death of a loved one (for example, a mother or husband) is an absolutely normal reaction to such a loss. And people feel especially acutely about the death of a child (son or daughter).

However, for some people, natural symptoms of grief such as guilt, insomnia, numbness, and sobbing can lead to more serious symptoms, including grief (deep grief) and depressive disorder (Major clinical depression).

Symptoms of natural grief

Grief differs from natural grief in its duration and intensity. People experiencing normal grief can often explain why they are sad. They continue to function normally in society, and are usually able to overcome their intense sadness within a relatively short period of time (usually within a month or two).

Typically, after the death of a very close person (husband, mother, son or daughter, brother or sister), strong feelings such as grief or depression may intensify over several days, weeks or even months. And sometimes such depression can develop even after the death of a beloved animal.

Almost every person, faced with the death of a loved one (especially a child, mother, beloved husband), will experience the following natural symptoms:

• feeling of guilt for what they did (or did not do) before the death of a loved one. So, a mother can reproach herself for not saving her son;
• obsessive thoughts, like this: “It would be better if I died instead of my husband!” Thus, parents may regret that death did not take them instead of the child;
• imaginary feeling that they see or hear the deceased;
• sleep problems;
• changing eating and exercise habits;
• desire to be socially isolated.

Stages of Loss and Grief

To understand how real clinical depression can develop from ordinary grief, you need to know what stages people go through after the death of a loved one (husband, mother, child, etc.). In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross presented 5 stages of grief after the death of a loved one in her book On Death and Dying. These stages of grief are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life.

In the event of loss, a person spends a different amount of time in each stage. In addition, each stage may differ in intensity. These five stages can occur in any order. We often move between these stages until we come to terms with death. Everyone grieves differently. Some people are outwardly very emotional, while others will experience grief internally, perhaps without even tears. But, one way or another, all people go through the five stages of grief:

The first stage is denial and isolation;

The second stage is anger;

The third stage is bargaining;

The fourth stage is depression;

The fifth stage is acceptance.

While all the emotions that people experience during any of these stages are natural, not everyone who grieves goes through all of these stages—and that's okay, too. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to go through all these stages in order to move on with your life. In fact, some people are able to grieve without going through any of these stages. So don't worry about how you "should" feel or what stage you should be in right now.

When does Grief become Depression?

All of the above symptoms and stages of grief are completely normal. They help people adapt to loss and accept new living conditions after the death of a loved one.

The difference between grief and clinical depression is not always easy to discern because they share many symptoms, but there is a difference.

Remember, grief comes in waves. It includes a wide range of emotions and a combination of bad and have a nice day. Even when you are grieving greatly, you can still have moments of joy or happiness. And with depression, the feeling of emptiness and despair is constant.

If a grieving person is experiencing significant symptoms of depression, it is time to seek help. This must be done in cases where the grieving person has:

• lack of concentration and complete inability to concentrate;
• unusually acute feelings of worthlessness or guilt;
• anxiety or depression that does not go away, but only gets worse over time;
• sleep problems that last more than six weeks;
• intrusive memories during the day and nightmares at night, which constantly keep a person in suspense;
• sudden weight gain or loss;
• unexplained physical symptoms, such as unreasonable pain in one or another part of the body, rapid heartbeat, profuse sweating, digestive problems or difficulty breathing;
• thoughts that the deceased continues to be nearby, visual or auditory hallucinations;
• strange or antisocial behavior;
• thoughts of suicide, which can only be stopped by very serious arguments (for example, the mother has another child);
• breaking all social contacts.

All of these symptoms may indicate the onset of clinical depression following the death of a loved one. If any of these symptoms last more than two months after the death of a loved one, it is a signal that the person needs professional help.

Symptoms of depression or post-traumatic shock will be most severe if a person witnesses the sudden death of a loved one, or is close to the death of a loved one, such as a child.

Depression as a complication of grief

Negative feelings such as hopelessness and helplessness are part of the normal mourning process, but they can also be symptoms of depression or other mental disorders. But sometimes grief, which is normal in this situation, turns into a mental disorder. Depression is just one of a number of mental health conditions that may be associated with the death of a loved one. Other disorders include generalized anxiety disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder.

It is not without reason that one of the proposed future changes in the classification of mental illnesses proposed by American psychiatrists is the introduction of a new category of mental illness - aggravated grief. The burdened experience of grief, which is also sometimes called traumatic or prolonged grief, is proposed to be considered a complex mental disorder. It will be diagnosed if general symptoms of severe grief, such as sadness after the death of a loved one (husband, child or other relatives), difficulty moving on, depression or anger after such a loss, last more than six months.

Diagnosis of complicated grief disorder is expected to be made based on two criteria:

First criterion. The grieving person yearns for the deceased daily and very intensely.

Second criterion. A person must experience, and also interfere with their normal functioning, at least five of the following symptoms:

• the impossibility of accepting this death;
• feeling overwhelmed or shocked after the death of a loved one;
• anger or bitterness experienced after the death of relatives (for example, anger at a husband for leaving his wife);
• numbness or stupor (this happens especially often after the loss of a child);
• difficulty defining a purpose in life after loss;
• extreme uncertainty of one's role in life;
• avoidance of everything that is a reminder of death;
• inability to trust people, because such a person believes that a loved one betrayed him with his death;
• the feeling that life has lost all meaning.

Preventing Depression After Loss

Once grief becomes clinical depression, it can no longer be overcome by ordinary mourning, so in this case it is necessary to consult a psychotherapist. Treatment for such depression usually includes antidepressants and interpersonal or cognitive behavioral therapy.

However, there are ways in which people themselves can prevent grief from turning into depression.

Live in reality, accept the reality of loss and realize that even in grief you do not cease to be a part of Everyday life. Connect with family and friends more often.

Take a different route. Try to adapt to the new reality by doing things differently. For example, take up a new hobby, or give up activities that are painful reminders of your loved one. Move forward - force yourself to move, communicate and participate in pleasant events.

Regular physical activity is necessary: ​​do physical exercise at least 30 minutes every day, learn to relieve stress through deep breathing or meditation, sleep at least 7-9 hours a night.

Proper Diet: Make sure your diet is healthy. Stop destroying yourself - give up alcohol, sleeping pills and caffeine.

The death of someone you loved and cared for is always very painful. You may experience all kinds of negative emotions, including heartache and sadness. This is a completely normal reaction to such a significant loss. Know that there is no right or wrong way to get rid of depression caused by the death of a loved one, but there is effective ways cope with the pain in order to move on in life.

All information provided on this site is for reference only and does not constitute a call to action. If you notice any symptoms, you should immediately consult a doctor. Do not self-medicate or self-diagnose.

Is it possible to prevent the death of a loved one?

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