No matter how old your child is, even if it is a 2-year-old peanut, parental communication with him should be adequate. Of course, you can’t conduct a dialogue on elevated tones, but it is too often not worthwhile to “lisp” with the baby. Of course, to communicate with a child of 2, 3, like 4 years old, will not be possible on equal terms due to the peculiarities of his age development, but to build a conversation so that the child understands your requirements and fulfills them without undue wrangling is quite real.

A newborn child seems to us an angel in the flesh. But time goes on, children grow, and our idea of \u200b\u200btheir divine origin undergoes significant adjustments. No, the baby is still the most beloved, but so ugly and naughty at times that you even begin to doubt whether you try to understand him so well?

Two-year-olds go through the first crisis in the realization of themselves and the outside world. So how to communicate with a child 2 years of age and older correctly, without crushing and not allowing permissiveness?

Features of communication with a 2-4 year old child

In dealing with a child of 2, 3 and 4 years old, it is very difficult to find a common language. The most common phrases of such kids: "I myself!", "I will not!", "Do not touch!" Another feature of this age is to do everything exactly the opposite.

2-4-year-olds are actively involved in social life, play with peers with pleasure, communicate with relatives and imagine themselves untouchable “deities”.

In the same period, the child completely lacks the instinct of self-preservation. All this cannot be ignored when communicating with children 2-4 years old. And no matter how difficult this age seems to be for interaction, this is the most convenient period for starting the upbringing of a child’s moral categories and personal stamina.

It is no secret that it’s difficult for a kid to learn to share his toys, and other people's games are more interesting to him than his own. At this age, you can send your child to developing circles for toddlers or arrange short meetings with his peers at home.

At two or four years old, the child begins to try on various social roles. He can play a doctor for hours, listening to the heartbeat of the dolls or putting a thermometer to his parents, and then he will begin to get hysterical if adults change the subject of the game without his consent. And ignoring these features when communicating with a child is not permissible.

By the age of two, permanent zones for various types of activities are formed in the children's room. There is a separate zone for games, where all the toys live in their box houses, there is a zone for drawing and sculpting, and there is a recreation area. The mobility of each unit remains, since sometimes the zones are mixed, but differentiating by belonging helps in cleaning before bedtime.

Naturally, a little child cannot clean up a nursery before going to bed. You need to do this together, turning a routine into an exciting game: counting toys and cubes, pronouncing actions in rhymes and playing “cuckoo” when looking for a “lost” pencil.

Listen to the following tips from psychologists on how to communicate with a child of 2, 3, or 4 years old.

When communicating with young children, remember that they are just like you, only small ones! Do not lisp, do not belittle their opinion;
Do not try to stop the child with a categorical "no." Very often, the word "no" only causes irritation and a surge of emotions in the children.
Do not try to impose your opinion on children's toys. Sometimes it happens that a battered and old bear is more expensive than a brand new tricycle.
Another rule of communication with a small child is that the baby needs to explain and show everything by his own example! To paint with paints is not scary: we dip our finger and display the first "scribble" on a sheet or on a tablet. You can’t swing on a chair, otherwise you’ll fall: put a doll on a small stool and swing it. Cubes can be assembled in a picture, in a tower, etc. Fortunately, the modern children's room has a rich field for imagination and examples;
you can’t get angry or annoyed at a small child. If the child has brought to the "white heat", it is worth counting to ten, repeating to himself that this is a child, and turn his attention to another game. If the switch fails, give the child a few minutes of loneliness.

To communicate with a child of 2, 3 or 4 years old correctly, as psychologists advise, we must not forget that the baby feels our mood, captures every note in our voice. Sitting down to play and communicate with him, do not allow even a shadow of falsehood and pretense in actions.

Rejoice at every minute spent with him. Painting walls in a nursery, folding puzzles or assembling a constructor, theatrical performances, playing a concert on an impromptu stage from LEGO blocks or just hide and seek in the corners and behind the cabinets - everything should be fun and natural!

As you can see, how to communicate with children of 2, 3 or 4 years old is not so difficult - just wake up the child in yourself, and your interaction with the baby will go like clockwork.

Article read 5,096 times (a).

Feels imagine yourself in his place. What would you feel in such a situation? Speak to yourself and think about how his wishes could be satisfied. Be it resentment, anger or pain.
Tell your child what you think right now. He will understand that you recognize his right to experience these feelings. In this case, you should say not what he should feel, but what he really is experiencing.

To understand the child, you need not ask him whom he may not understand or to which he does not respond, but contact him in the form of statements. For example, instead of “What have you done again?” you need to say, "You obviously had a hard time today." This again will let the child understand that you understand how he feels. No need to concentrate negative questions on the child with questions. Say how you feel or are going to do it, not what your child needs to do. Agree that the child will perceive “I’m worried about you, I need to know how you get home,” rather than “Where do you go, how will you get home?”

Drive away stereotypes. Your child should not be like other children. And you should not apply to them those that others apply. Follow the following algorithm:
1. Formulate your thought in one.

2. Tell us about your feelings and thoughts (“I'm worried”).

3. Show what the behavior of the child can lead to. You can even exaggerate a little.

4. Admit that you can not do anything, thereby making it clear what the child needs.

5. Show that you can help.

6. Create the impression that you are confident in the strengths of your child, that he will be able to cope with the situation himself.

Tip 2: How to talk with a child when he is not yet able to speak

The adult hears the speech from the first minutes of his life. He still does not understand the words, but listens to them, learns to recognize voices and responds to intonation. Young parents are often lost when they cannot understand what the child wants, and they are not even very willing to put up with the thought that he might want something at all. Starting to learn to communicate with the baby is necessary from the very first days.

You will need

- toys;
- household items;
- pictures, nursery rhymes, fairy tales.

Instruction manual

Talk with all the time while he is. In the first months, communication will not take much time, but it should be. Comment on all your actions. Now you change clothes Sasha, take clean diapers and a new little white shirt. Show the baby toys, name them, say what color they are and what they are made of.

Communicating with (and sometimes with child older), adults almost always begin to speak slower and sharper than usual. This is the right approach, because the child, among other things, monitors the position of the speech apparatus. It will be easier for him to catch a way to extract this or that sound, if it shows him. At the same time, one should not deliberately burry or lisp. The kid from the very beginning should hear the correct speech, then he himself will strive to speak correctly.

As soon as you understand that the child is consciously and consciously making some movements, teach him gestures. He still cannot say what he wants, but he will be able to show that he needs a toy or a bottle of water. After naming an object, point to it with your finger or hand. Come up with gestures with which the baby could show that he is hungry, that he needs to change his diaper, or that he is. The game "Magpie" will fit perfectly so that the baby can "tell" you that he is not averse to a bite. The palms folded together and pressed to the cheek will make it quite clear that it is time to sleep.

Sign language will not only facilitate the understanding that the baby desperately needs. The connection between fine motor skills of hands and speech has long been noticed. The more a child can do it with his hands, the sooner he will learn to speak. In addition, acting abilities develop, because the child will be able to convey the image of the subject with expressive movements. This way of expressing one’s thoughts can be used for quite some time, and even after the need for understanding in this way disappears. Gestures can depict a variety of objects - books, toys, household items, etc.

Some parents tend to come up with a "children's" language, designating objects with simplified words. Do not do this. But to prevent the little one who comes up with his words, also should not be. Not all children do this. If your baby uses such words in speech, you will have to remember them, but hardly need to be repeated. However, many children immediately try to call the subject the right "adult" word, although this does not always work out.

Related videos

Useful advice

Do not forget about songs and fiction. Sing songs to a newborn, tell short tales and nursery rhymes. Both fairy tales and games with pens, such as Ladushki, will help you.

A child with whom parents constantly communicate and before he starts talking, is more confident. He feels that his thoughts are interesting to others, and his desires will be understood.

Sources:

Parents often mistakenly choose a communication system with their child. There are frequent cases when in the speech of adults turned to the child, unacceptable words and phrases sound, which subsequently lead to children's distrust, unwillingness to communicate with relatives. How to speak with a child so that he feels happy and grows up as a cheerful, confident person?

Psychologist Anastasia Ponomarenko will give us some tips that will help to establish relationships with the child.

People think about their relationships with children, as a rule, in old age. When parties no longer cause violent emotions, when friends have their own problems, and often can’t see each other. When the work is no longer indicated by the word "", but is mentioned in the context of "God forbid, they will cut it." When health begins to remind you are no longer 25, and you need help at the cottage. When they support, console, protect, it turns out, only children. And many begin to wonder why the children are not in a hurry to invest mentally. In the best case, they give an nth amount of money and consider their sons (daughter) debt fulfilled. Sad picture , is not it? To avoid this a sad sight in the future, you need to try not to make some mistakes in advance.

1. Respect your child’s emotions. What seems to you nonsense and a trifle, for him - the collapse of the world. Let him know that you always support him, help with advice, if necessary. And do not dismiss his problems. Otherwise, lose his trust forever.

2. Advise. In early childhood, ask how to better equip his room. Will become older - be sure to ask his opinion about rest and leisure. A teenager is quite capable of suggesting a list of family expenses. And, if possible, listen to his advice. So the child will feel his importance, he will develop a sense of responsibility and self-esteem.

3. Try to spend your leisure time together as often as possible . It is clear that in a child it is more interesting with peers, but to completely detach from joint activities is a big mistake, just the type of activity should be different. When everyone in the family begins to live their own lives, this is a very alarming symptom, just then trust disappears.

4. For good deeds - praise! Do not be afraid that he will "grow up selfish." If you recognize the undoubted merits - it will not grow.

Our brains strive for two things: avoid pain and have fun. When you praise, the child experiences pleasure, and for sure will want to experience it again. So, he wants to do something good again, so that you praise him. Thus, doing good deeds will become a habit.

And if the action is unsightly, find out what happened. But do not humiliate the person. On the contrary, say: “How could such a good person like you do this”?

5. Sport must be present in the life of the child. This contributes to the development of such qualities as responsibility, the ability to achieve goals, manage emotions. If in early childhood your child was far from sports, then it is not too late to start going to the section as a teenager. Just find the right motivation - at this age, the teenager’s desire to be better (more beautiful, faster) peers will work perfectly.

6. Be determined start in advance, not in graduation class. Here, in addition to abilities, consider the personality traits. And, if your too emotional daughter decided to be a financier (where stress resistance is necessary), send her to an emotional management training.

7. One of the main tasks of parents is to create an enriched environment where the child will be able to show their abilities and talents. Follow the hobbies of your child. If he decided to become an orientalist, take him to the Museum of the East. Interested in chemistry - buy chemistry books, a set of "Young chemist". So he is quicker to determine his interests and inclinations, which means he will be more prepared for choosing a profession. A correctly chosen profession is one of the components of success. . And successful people are usually generous.

No assault, insults, humiliating the person. Accept as an axiom. Humiliation experienced in childhood, a person never forgives.

8. Sincerely love your baby . Not that he is an excellent student, handsome, or better than anyone else in the class to dance a waltz. And despite the fact that he is a poor student, clumsy and awkward.

True there two conditions that must be observed in order for the effect of applying these tips to be achieved. First, they need to be implemented comprehensively. And secondly, not from case to case, but constantly. That is, in order for you to have good relations with older children, you must constantly invest psychologically. Despite tiredness or stress. Good luck

A PHOTO Getty images

The real discovery of the turn of the century was the study of age psychologists from the University of Kansas (USA), Betty Hart and Todd Riesley that determine the achievement of a person is not innate ability, not the economic situation of the family, not race and not gender, but the number of words that others around him address in the first years of life 1 .

Sitting the child in front of the TV or turning on the audio book for several hours is useless: communication with an adult is of fundamental importance. Of course, saying “stop” thirty million times, we will not help the child grow up as an intelligent, productive and emotionally stable adult. It is important that this communication is meaningful, and speech - complex and diverse.

Without interaction with others, the ability to learn is weakened. “Unlike a jug that will store everything you pour into it, open-loop brain is more like a sieve- remarks Dana Saskind. - Language cannot be learned passively, but only with the help of the response (preferably positive) reaction of others and social interaction. "

Dr. Saskind summarized the latest research in the field of early development and developed a parent-child communication program that will contribute to the best development of the children's brain. Her strategy consists of three principles: tune in to the child, communicate with him more often, and develop dialogue.

1. Customization for the child

It's about the conscious desire of the parent to notice everything that interests the baby, and talk with him on this topic. In other words, it is necessary look in the same direction as the child.

Show attention to his activities. For example, an adult, well-intentioned, sits on the floor with his child’s favorite book and invites him to listen. But the child does not respond, continuing to build a tower of cubes scattered on the floor. Parents again called: “Come here, sit down. Look, what an interesting book. Now I will read to you. ”

Everything seems to be fine, right? Loving adult, book. What else does a child need? Perhaps, only one thing: the attention of parents to the occupation, which is currently interested in the child himself.

To tune in to a child means carefully consider what he does, and get involved in its activities. This strengthens the contact and helps to improve the skills involved in the game, and through speech interaction to develop his brain.

A child can only focus on what is interesting to him

The fact is that a child can only focus on what is interesting to him. If you try to switch his attention to another occupation, the brain has to expend a lot of additional energy. In particular, studies have shown: if a child should participate in activities that are of little interest to him, he is unlikely to remember the words used at that time 2.

Be on par with your child. Sit with him on the floor during the game, keep him on his knees while reading, sit at the same table while eating, or pick up the baby to look at the world from a height of your height.

Simplify your speech. Just as babies attract attention with sounds, so parents entice them with a change in tone or volume of the voice. Hussing also helps the baby brain learn the language. In a recent study, it turned out that two-year-old babies, with whom they poked at the age of 11 to 14 months, knew twice as many words as those with whom they spoke “in an adult way”.

Simple, recognizable words quickly attract the child’s attention to what is being said and who is talking, prompting him to strain attention, get involved and communicate. It has been experimentally proved: children "learn" the words they hear more often and listen longer to the sounds they heard before.

2. Active communication

Speak out loud everything you do. Such commenting is another way to “surround” a child with speech. It not only increases vocabulary, but also shows the relationship between sound (word) and the action or thing to which it relates. “Let's put on a new diaper .... What is it white outside and blue inside. And not wet. Look. Dry and so soft. ” “Take the toothbrushes! Yours is purple and daddy's green. Now squeeze the paste, a little push. And we will clean, up and down. Tickled? "

Use passing comments. Try not only to describe your activities, but also to comment on the actions of the child: “Ah, you found your mother’s keys. Do not put them in your mouth, please. They can not be chewed. This is not food. Do you open the keys with your car? The keys open the door. Let's open the door with them. ”

Avoid pronouns: they cannot be seen

Avoid pronouns. Pronouns cannot be seen, unless imagined, and even if one knows what it is about. He ... she ... is this? The child has no idea what you are talking about. Not “I like it,” but “I like your drawing.”

Complement detail his phrases. Learning the language, the child uses parts of words and incomplete sentences. In the context of communication with the baby, it is necessary to fill in such gaps, repeating already completed phrases. Addition to: "The dog is sad" will be: "Your dog is sad." Over time, the complexity of speech increases. Instead: “Come on bainki” we say: “Your eyes are already sticking together. It is already very late, and you are tired. " Additions, detailing and building phrases allow be a couple of steps ahead of the baby's communication skillsencouraging him to more complex and versatile communication.

3. Dialogue development

Dialogue suggests replica exchange. This is the golden rule of communication between parents and children, the most valuable of the three methods for the development of the young brain. You can achieve active interaction by tuning in to what takes the baby’s attention and talking to him about it as much as possible.

Wait patiently for a response. In the dialogue, it is very important to adhere to the alternation of roles. Complementing facial expressions and gestures with words - first implied, then simulated, and finally real, the child can pick them up for a very long time. So long that mom or dad wants to answer for him. But do not rush to break the dialogue, give the child time to find the right word.

The words “what” and “what” impede dialogue. "What color is the ball?" “What does the cow say?” Such questions do not contribute to the accumulation of vocabulary, because they encourage the child to remember the words that he already knows. Questions with answers “yes” or “no” fall into the same category: they do not help to maintain a conversation and do not learn anything new. On the contrary, the questions of “how” or “why” allow him to answer in very different words, to engage a variety of thoughts and ideas. To the question “why” it is impossible to nod your head or point a finger. "How?" and why?" start the thinking process, which ultimately leads to a problem-solving skill.

Read more about this in Dana Saskind, Beth Saskind and Leslie Levinter-Saskind, “Thirty Million Words. We develop the baby’s brain just by talking with him ”(Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2016).

1 A. Weisleder, A. Fernald "Talking to children matters: Early language experience strengthens processing and builds vocabulary." Psychological Science, 2013, No. 24.

2 G. Hollich, K. Hirsh-Pasek, and R. M. Golinkoff, “Breaking the language barrier: An emergentist coalition model for the origins of word learning,” Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development 65.3, No. 262 (2000).

About the expert

Dana Suskind - pediatrician, professor, author of the book “Thirty Million Words. We develop the baby’s brain just by talking with him ”(Mann, Ivanov and Ferber, 2016).