Here we are saying goodbye to difficult year Goats, and we are waiting for a cheerful and bright Monkey. Our unique New Year's greetings Happy 2016 in the form of poems and holiday cards. We wish you a Happy New Year 2016! The Year of the Fire Monkey will definitely bring good luck!

It's housewarming for the Year of the Monkey!
Ah, this winter sparkle! Can't convey!
Wine and fruit, wild fun!
Perhaps, better than the day and can’t be found!
The feast is in full swing! How can you not rejoice?
What do I wish for you? Mega happiness!
Take off on the waves among the seas!
For life paintings - any colors!
Iron will from the heroes!

A few more options for you to choose from

The year of the monkey has arrived! So let's raise a glass For health and love, Let the goat eat carrots! And he goes on a long journey. We can't sleep today! Let's celebrate the New Year brightly We are with a cheerful Monkey! Happy New Year And from all I wish you my soul, So that everything is like people's In order not to fall under the spruce, You can’t sleep under the chimes, Don't dip your nose in the salad. So that everything in life is like in a fairy tale. Let the girls make eyes The wallet was not empty Happy New Happiness, dear!

It's five minutes to the clock! Don't be sad on New Year's Day! All problems in life will burst. Like bubbles in champagne. Eat bananas, chew coconuts. May you always be lucky. Make your boss happy at work. And your pocket won’t let you down! Sits, sad, sad. Looking down. Doesn't want to leave us. Warmed up goat. Two thousand sixteen. We meet throughout the country With hope, faith, a mischievous little monkey. May your wishes come true. And the path will become brighter, And the crisis will go away with the goat. Let's wave to her!

And to make it more pleasant to wish all the best to those around you and make your eyes happy with everything around you, look at our materials about, and.

A certain joker took out Santa Claus's fur coat and beard on New Year's Eve. He dressed up and, rejoicing that he could amuse his wife, rang the doorbell of his apartment. His wife opened it and, before he had time to utter a word, she threw herself on his neck, began to kiss him passionately and took him into the bedroom. And there, like a madwoman, she indulged herself with “Santa Claus” passionate love. Taking advantage of the small respite, the husband threw off his false beard and mustache. And then he heard his wife’s voice, which amazed him:
- Well, it’s you! And I didn’t recognize you at all!
So let's raise a toast to real men who know how to throw a party for their wife too!

Let's drink to so that every next New Year is ours festive table was more and more bursting with food, the phone was ringing off the hook with congratulatory calls from friends and everything large quantity children and grandchildren would give us gifts!

Once upon a time there lived a man: two years ago he was greeted in a dormitory... A year ago he was greeted in a one-room apartment... Now he is met in a country villa... But he is not welcomed in a dormitory.
So let's drink to HIM - to the one whom we meet in the hostel, and in the apartment, and in the villa, hoping that he will be successful! Here's to the New Year!

Let's raise our glasses so that seeing off the old year will be different from seeing off a train at the station: the departing train takes away friends and loved ones, and the passing year will bring them to us!
Let's drink so that it will always be like this!

Let's drink to the only day of the year when you can sit on a Christmas tree... and not be in the forest!
Here's to the New Year!

New Year is not a luxury, but a means of transportation through time!
So let's drink to his perpetual motion machine!

By tradition, we celebrate the New Year with champagne.
May our life in the New Year be like this champagne - light, exciting, fragrant and overflowing!

Health, joy and happiness
I wish you on the New Year,
So that no anxiety, no misfortune
There was no guard at the gate.
So that the sun shines tenderly,
Everything that the heart expects came true,
And just to make it gratifying
All your life, like this year!

With an open heart and love
We wish you happiness and health!
May the New Year with new happiness
He will be the owner of your home
And along with the smell of spruce
Will bring success and joy!

The old year is passing...
I would like to say
Many good words
Wish you happiness.
So that life is easy for you
IN next year
So that you forget
Woe and misfortune!

Let's drink so that in the coming year there will be shooting around us... but only with champagne, right on target and at close range!

Let's drink to Father Frost and the Snow Maiden: for as long as I can remember, they don't get sick, don't grow old, and there's always money for gifts!
For us to be like that too!

At this table all the women are beautiful, like Snow Maidens. But I would like to wish that, unlike them, the hearts of our women will be warmed with love for us men in the New Year.
To the beautiful and loving Snow Maidens!

May we have as many good and joyful events next year, as many good and wonderful deeds, as many lights burn in our New Year's garland!

Life is like a New Year's garland - as soon as one light bulb burns out, all the others go out. If one thing doesn’t work out for a person, everything falls out of hand.
So let's drink to the fact that the garland of bright events in our lives shimmers with all colors and never burns out!
Here's to not burning out next year!

Let the glasses clink
Let the wine sparkle
Let the night stars fall
He will look into your window.
On this wonderful night
You can't live without a smile.
Pain and sorrow - away!
Happy new year friends!

In the village, one friend tells another:
- Yesterday Vasily came to see me. At first I sat and was silent. Then he fell on me and raped me... But he never said why he came.
So that you don’t have a question about why I came here, I’ll say it straight out:
I came to wish everyone a Happy New Year.

Let all bad things sink into eternity
Happy last breath of December!
And everything is beautiful and alive
Will come to you on the morning of January!

The clock is knocking.
The old year is passing.
Its last pages are rustling...
What was good - let it not go away,
And what is bad will not happen again!

On New Year's Eve outside the window
The snow is falling quietly
Let at your table,
There will be joy and laughter
Let enviable success
Waiting for you in any business
And he will enter without hindrance
Happiness to your bright home.

May you have many new friends in the new year, a new high-paying job, a new car, a new country villa in which you can sit, as of old, with our old circle of friends and spend the old year!

Twice for the same... New Years are not coming!
You can't celebrate the same New Year twice...
So let's drink to the timeliness, inevitability and uniqueness of this recurring holiday! Here's to the New Year!

Every time on New Year's Eve, my child stands at the frozen window and asks Santa Claus:
"Give me a toy!.."
I smile, put him to bed, but then I go to the window myself and ask my good old friend - Santa Claus:
"Give my child happiness!"
So let's drink to the fulfillment of wishes.

As you know, a person learns all his life. He learns every year, and every year, probably, he becomes a little smarter... Which means, for sure, the years also learn something - from a person and from each other.
So let's drink to each next year learning only good things from the previous one!

May the New Year dawn on you
Will give you success
And let it sound in your home
Cheerful, ringing laughter.
Let a true friend be nearby
Both on holiday and in bad weather.
And let it come into your home like a snowball
Happiness always comes!

Happy New Year!
We wish you happiness with all our hearts!
To get you through this year
Without sadness and worries.
So that you can work successfully,
And have fun on holiday,
And good luck to you in your business,
And smiles on your lips.
So that love blooms like a rose,
And not lethargic from the frost,
And the house is full of children,
Be happy in everything!

On New Year's Eve, friends,
I wish you happiness.
Live cheerfully and sweetly,
Have a million friends
Love work, nature, loved ones,
And everything will be okay with you!

May the new year not add wrinkles,
And he will smooth out and erase the old ones,
It will improve your health and save you from failures.
And it will bring a lot of joy and happiness!

Happy New Year! May you have good luck
This year will give you
Complex problems will be solved
And it will bring success.
So that the soul does not know worries
And at midnight to the hour
There was moisture from the glass
You drank for us.

Happy New Year!
Let the fun
Celebrate housewarming in souls,
And luck at this hour
It won't pass you by!

Let all the flowers fall at your feet,
Let the stars turn into emeralds,
Let grief and sorrow go away,
May your dreams come true in the New Year!

Let the new year learn only good things from the old! I congratulate you and wish you the most important thing - fulfillment of your dreams! Because when a person has what he dreamed of, he is cheerful, cheerful, healthy!
Happy New Year!

Winter is coming, playing with snowstorms,
The frost is crackling and summer is far away,
And we wish you a Happy New Year,
May the New Year give you warmth!
The warmth of luck, the joy of the first meeting,
Warmth of love, family warmth,
And let it ring on New Year's Eve
Glasses of New Year's glass!

Let next year come true what you planned the year before!.. Congratulations to you! May the new year bring fulfillment of all your wishes!

Every person has an unquenchable candle of his soul. But this candle is often covered with an impenetrable cap.
So let's drink so that in the new year the light of our soul will freely reach our friends.

Let's drink so that in the new year you will always have someone to share any mood with.

They ask one electrician if his profession is interesting?
- My profession is, of course, interesting, but dangerous. Connect the wrong wires, for example, and you'll get fucked!
So let's drink to the fact that in the new year life will not enter into intimate relationships with us!

What does the glass consist of? From a support and a drink bowl.
What does a person consist of? From the body - the material support and the soul - the spiritual cup.
Let's drink so that in the new year our glasses will be filled more often with wonderful wine, and the cups of our souls with wonderful feelings!

We wish you that Santa Claus
I brought you a bag of health!
Distributed fun to everyone,
He brought me a glass of champagne,
I took illness and melancholy into the bag,
And hid it somewhere in the forest!

Friends! New Year will come soon.
Forget old sorrows
And days of sorrow and days of adversity
And everything that killed joy.
But don't forget the clear days
Golden hours for dear hearts,
And old sincere friends,
Whom you all loved so much.
Live new in the New Year!

I wish you a Happy New Year
Fun ringing like ice,
Smiles as bright as amber,
Health, like frost in January.
May this year be a lucky star
Will enter your family comfort,
Hastily with the old year
Let the troubles all go away.

Let's raise a toast to the New Year
Let the toast be extremely simple,
For happiness, friendship, laughter,
Great success in all matters,
For sensitivity, tenderness, kindness
Warmth to family life!

One man is asked:
- Why do you wear shoes two sizes too small?
He answers:
- On purpose. My wife is not beautiful. Besides, she's evil. Cooks badly! The son is a loser! My mother-in-law is a witch!... The only joy I have in life is when I take off my shoes in the evening!
Let's drink to the fact that we will have other joys in the new year!

One day three wanderers were walking. Night caught them on the way. They saw the house and knocked. The owner opened it for them and asked:
"Who you are?"
- Health, Love and Wealth. Let us in for the night.
- It's a pity, but we only have one free place. I’ll go and consult with my family about which of you to let in.
The sick mother said: "Let's let Health in."
The daughter suggested letting Love in, and the wife - Wealth.
While they were arguing, the wanderers disappeared.
So let's drink to the fact that in the new year there will always be a place in our home for Health, Love and Wealth!

A good toast should come from the heart, and even more so if it is from a woman. If your soul lacks inspiration, then our selection of the best New Year's toasts for women is just for you!

The worst attack during feasts is banality. Therefore, when calls like “let’s go” or “shudder” are heard at the table, this is not interesting even for men.

The phrase “for beautiful ladies” sounds no less banal, which serves as a technique for many men to try to attract the attention of the female half.

Don’t forget that the company is here to have fun, so instead of such banal speeches, prepare better New Year’s toasts for women.

As a rule, those who can improvise become the soul of the company. Such people have no problems with toast, they invent them one after another.

But, if you are not so talented and resourceful, then when preparing for a New Year’s visit where women will be at the table, look through our collection of toasts and adopt New Year’s toasts that, in your opinion, will amuse the female part of the company.

A good housewife is good, but a beautiful one is better. A good housewife decorates the table, and a beautiful housewife decorates her husband.
For slender legs, ugh, for a beautiful housewife!

One person had a very ugly face. One day one of his friends said to him jokingly:
“I sympathize with no one in the world as much as your wife.”
“But if you saw my wife, you would sympathize with me,” he answered.
I propose to drink to the fact that all the men present here do not sympathize, but are simply envious!

New Year's toasts for women:

At this table all the women are beautiful, like Snow Maidens. But I would like to wish that, unlike them, the hearts of our women will be warmed with love for us men in the New Year.
To the beautiful and loving Snow Maidens!

A girl's weapon is her clothes. Let's drink to general disarmament next year!

Let's drink to our wives and lovers, so that they don't meet next year.

I would like to wish women of any age to be as irresistible in the new year as they were in the old year. Dear women, be charming, attractive and loved!

New Year's toast to women:

Let's raise a toast to the New Year:
Let the toast be extremely simple,
For happiness, friendship, laughter,
Great success in all matters,
For sensitivity, tenderness, kindness,
Warmth to family life!
I raise my glass!
Well guys, who's with me?

Toasts to women for the New Year:

One man approaches the river, pushes aside a bush, another, a third... and so on twenty bushes... And there, behind the last one, stands a beautiful woman and waits for him. He took off one dress, another, a third... Let's raise our glasses and drink to our prospects in the new year!

Eastern wisdom says:
“If you want to know the strength of steel, rub it against a touchstone;
if you want to know the horse's strength, load it;
if you want to know a man’s mind, listen to his speeches;
want to understand the heart of a woman -
you will never comprehend!
This toast is to beautiful but incomprehensible women!

***
One man fell asleep and had a dream: next to him was a beautiful woman. I woke up - no one was there. So let's drink to making all your good dreams come true in the New Year!

Excavator Masha dug a pit and unearthed the tomb of the pharaoh. The lid of the coffin opened slightly and Masha saw a young, handsome pharaoh. She couldn't resist and kissed him. The prince came to life, opened his eyes and said. Masha, I will fulfill your seven wishes. Masha replied, “One wish, but seven times.” On the fifth visit, the pharaoh died. So let's drink to the excavator Masha, who did not allow feudalism to develop!

Human wisdom says: be careful not to let a woman cry, because God counts her tears! Woman came from the rib of man. Not out of your feet to be humiliated. Not from the head, to be superior, but from the side, to be side by side, to be equal. From under the arm, to be protected. And from the heart, to be loved!

New Year's toasts to women:

I think those who claim that women cannot keep a secret are wrong. You just need to remember that this is a very difficult task and women cope best with it collectively. So let's raise a glass to this original feminine trait!

The ancient Greek sage Aristophanes said: “Each of us represents half of humanity, which is forever looking for the other.” Each of us lives in hope of a happy meeting. I want to wish everyone who has not yet met their other half to definitely find it in the new year!

New Year toasts for women:

A married couple, walking through the Louvre, stops near the statue of Venus de Milo.
The husband looks at the goddess of beauty for a long time and finally says:
- You know, dear, the goddess is very similar to you...
“Well, thank God,” the wife responds, “now I understand that I’m barefoot and have nothing to wear!”
The women we see here really look like Venus.
But unlike her, they are well dressed! For our beauties!

I'll take a piece of sun in my glass,
The purity of spring skies,
I’ll add the tenderness of my beloved’s hands
And the lips are crazy warm.
I'll add jealousy and sadness
And I'll take a sip of this potion
For these strange women
Which I still love!

New Year is, first of all, a feast designed not so much to satiate as to amuse the guests. The atmosphere behind New Year's table- our everything, on which it depends in what mood the guests will leave the host house, and even under what star they will live for the next year. When celebrating the New Year of the Monkey 2016, don’t forget about comic toasts.

So, the Monkey rules! Cheerful and playful, appreciating sparkling humor and originality of wishes. And also – brevity and capacity. Boring and long speeches can somewhat spoil the holiday and cause confusion among the hostess of the year. But I want to wish for so many things! Is it possible to “shove” ornate words into a short and dynamic New Year’s speech? Let's try. Here are some tips on how to choose funny toasts for the New Year of the Monkey 2016.

Share and detail the toasts

The main rule of the New Year's (and any) dinner speech is not to overdo it and not bore the guests with it. Therefore, if you have something to say, say it, but either not for long, or in portions. And since you will be celebrating the year of the Monkey, this requirement is doubly relevant.

Short four-line wishes, flavored with elegant humor, are exactly what you need on New Year's Eve. You can prepare at least several dozen of them, dedicating each one to an individual guest or group of guests - work colleagues, friends, godmothers, neighbors - with whom you are going to celebrate the holiday.

Divide the toasts into “female” and “male”; if the wish is too long, “split” it into several parts or shorten it.

New Year's toasts should be like fireworks - bright, memorable and short.

New Year's comic toasts 2016 for a corporate party

The real New Year's celebrations begin not at home at five minutes to twelve, but on the eve - December 29 or 30 at work with colleagues. With these wonderful people, you have been successfully solving production problems for a whole year and achieving great results, how can you not congratulate each other on your victories?

And don't forget in the midst corporate party greet the mistress of the coming year. The monkey is omnipresent, you see, and your company will not ignore it.

Toast 1. Whoever said that a monkey is a stupid animal is wrong, because it will never eat an unpeeled banana.

Whoever said that the monkey is a frivolous animal is also wrong, because it takes care of its young with all seriousness.

Whoever said that a monkey mindlessly climbs trees is also wrong, because it calculates the most convenient and profitable route.

Based on the above, I wish everyone to be in the skin of a monkey this year: to be smart and picky in meeting people; be reliable and gentle in the family; be prudent and principled at work.

And also - to be tenacious, like a monkey on the branches, when it comes to luck, happiness and love.

Toast 2. If this year you are told the following phrase: “You are like a monkey,” do not be offended - this is a compliment and a signal to action.

Monkeys love to climb trees, climbing to the very tops - so let everyone here have a chance to reach the top in their work.

Monkeys choose the ripest and sweetest fruits, so let life, dear colleagues, present you only with tasty morsels.

A monkey always takes everything it needs - take from life not only everything you need, but also the best.

And be proud of yourself all year - because to be like a monkey means to be a winner.

Comic toasts for the New Year 2016 for a home feast

For a cheerful company that craves humor and good wishes Any toast will do, the main thing is that it is “fresh”, reflects the secret desires of each of those present and that the Monkey is definitely mentioned in it.

Toast 3. The monkey is moderately drunk,
The monkey is cheerful.
The Monkey wishes us
Happiness, cheerfulness, warmth.
We answer the Monkey:
“Darling, come in!”
May your year be happy
And bring wealth.
And good luck and health,
And rapid career growth,
So that the house is full of cups,
Who has love - seriously.
We can relax in the Canary Islands,
So that friends stand up for us...
... And also, fry us some cutlets
And open the champagne.
Happy New Year!

Toast 4. Attention! Everyone looks up to the Monkey!
Firstly, she is an optimist, and this is a saving trait in all life’s troubles.
Secondly, she never has troubles because she is an optimist.
That's what I wish for everyone.

Toast 5. Friends. I feel bad for the Monkey. Everyone makes fun of her, no one believes in the prudence of this animal, they make up jokes about her... But she’s smart. Listen here.

Two monkeys found an atomic bomb and, out of curiosity, decided to disassemble it. When one was already unscrewing the last screw, the second suddenly came to her senses: “Hey, friend,” she said, “won’t it break?!”

“Maybe it will,” the first monkey answers, “but don’t worry, I have another one.”
What am I talking about? May each of you always have a spare way out of the most explosive situation.
Comic toasts to the Year of the Monkey 2016 for a bachelorette party
A special atmosphere reigns at New Year's hen parties, where unmarried women usually gather, ready to joke a little about their single situation, and, if possible, correct it by making magical wishes on a magical night.
Each of them wants the very best for each other and for themselves, their beloved. And they don’t even make toast, but some kind of magic...

Toast 6. Monkey, monkey, come on, listen,
We all call you in unison.
Under the festive tree, and yourself - off the needle,
We will sing the anthem for you.
Let's try on your monkey temperament
And we really like it:
We can be childish, we can fool around -
I've had enough of the seriousness already.
Here are bananas for you, and from the Monkey
We ask for nothing at all -
Salary increase, Saint Laurent dress,
And shoes to go with it.
Open your own business and let it grow
Within 3-5 days,
Buy yourself a villa, away from the world -
Hide from business in it.
Come on, it's business. Let the crisis end
Then we will move all mountains.
Give us a guy, a hot macho,
So that we could have heaven together.
Happiness to everyone in your personal life, girls!

Toast 7. Have you noticed, dear ladies, that the Monkey drives everyone crazy? The manner of behavior, the habit of admiring one’s reflection, the ability to outwit everyone and fool everyone...

I don’t know how it is according to Darwin, whether all people descended from monkeys... But real women, for sure. There is no need to even look for scientific evidence here. We are beautiful, we are characterful, we are stubborn, we are cheerful, we are kind, we are talented. In a word, real monkeys. Here's to us and our New Year!

What's a New Year's feast without toast? We offer you a selection of original and gunpowder funny toasts, written specifically for the New Year 2016. I think you already know that the coming year has been declared the Year of the Monkey, which means no one will be bored.

I always celebrate New Year according to requirements eastern calendar. In the year of the Pig, he got drunk like a pig, in the year of the Horse, he neighed like a horse, in the year of the Dragon, he set off fireworks at midnight, and in the year of the Dog, he went to sleep on a rug. Let's drink to the coming Year of the Monkey, when you can do whatever you want and still celebrate the New Year correctly.

Scientists are still arguing about the origins of man. Darwin decided that we are the ancestors of monkeys, religion says that God created us, and we are also possibly the brainchild of extraterrestrial civilizations, toys of some alien mind. I don’t know who’s right, but we look like monkeys when we’re having fun and fooling around, we turn to God when it’s difficult for us, and if little green men appear, it’s a disaster. Let's drink to the fun.

In a small town, I don’t remember which one, some of its inhabitants managed to escape from the zoo at night. It took the local police a long time to catch them. In the end, everyone was found, everyone was caught except the monkeys. Now the sun began to slowly rise, but the primates were still not seen or heard. Tired, exhausted policemen, not knowing what to do, returned to the station. Imagine their amazement when they saw all the missing monkeys there, who, by the way, were not wasting their time. It took three days to bring the area back to human form. Let's drink to the tailed heroes who did what we can only dream of.

Many people believe that man descended from a monkey, so to speak, evolved. And I’ll tell you, it’s the monkeys that have evolved, they are smarter than us, because they quickly realized that labor and work are not such fun and enjoyable activities. For the correct evolution, gentlemen!

Once every twelve years New Year's Eve Goat and Monkey meet. Every time the goat says:

- Monkey, be prudent, sedate and responsible.

And the monkey always answers:

- Do not be a bore.

So stop being boring, let's have a drink!

Goats feed exclusively on greens and straw, while monkeys are almost omnivorous. Girls, down with diets! Let's have a drink and a proper snack!

Do you know what unites a monkey and a woman? They both love to twirl in front of the mirror. Because beauty is a terrible force! Let's drink to beauty!

The year of the Fire Monkey is coming. So let's drink the “fire water” and greet this year with a sparkle.

Women often have to be either a predator like a tiger, or fluffy and affectionate like a cat, or dazzling like a dragon, or thrifty like a mouse. In the Year of the Monkey, it's time to relax. Let's have a drink, girls, and we don't care what they think about us.

The monkey is the most cheerful animal from the eastern calendar. Let's drink and be merry this New Year's Eve.