Millennials are leaning towards polygamy - it's hard to resist when you have Tinder, which opens up freedom of choice. Or maybe it’s the old days, when there were courtships, periods of candy and bouquets, farewells to the entrance, timid kisses under the moon... The rhythm of life is accelerating, and with it we are accelerating. We don’t have time to walk under the moon for weeks, offering our cheeks for a kiss: we need to get down to the core, namely sex, in order to understand whether this partner is suitable and whether it’s worth continuing the search.
What nonsense! But what about the butterflies in the stomach and that’s all? Why have they forgotten that some people were simply created for each other, destined for each other from above? “We just have to be together,” people who have nothing in common with their partners sometimes say.
Therefore, if you happen to be one of the incorrigible romantics, think about the following four points.
You are not friends
Why be friends with your partner? After all, you just have to feel good together: in bed, on a trip, at a party. Yes, but without true friendship It is difficult to build a relationship between two people. If you think you've succeeded, it's not a relationship, it's a house of cards.
You justify your relationship
If someone asks you a simple question: “Why do you think that you are made for each other?”, and you start making abstruse arguments, you have failed. After all, the answer to this question should come from the heart and be simple. And if you make a diagram and explain that the stars aligned in a certain way on the day you met... Who are you trying to lie to?
You are not sure about your future together
A strong relationship is like a road map. This is where your paths met, here you were happy, but here one of you started having problems, and there is your destination (let’s say a beautiful country villa and three children). Are you sure that your partner will go all the way with you to the end?
You spend time figuring out why
When lovers are happy, they have few questions for each other. If you find fault with your partner over trifles (or tolerate his nagging yourself), if you have to sort things out or resolve too many issues that arise within the couple, the statement “We are made for each other” is quite controversial in your case.
And finally: if you are even asking yourself the question: “Why are we together?”, you should not be together. I hate to say this, but it's true.
With the right person, you can overcome any challenge. With a bad partner, these difficulties will seem eternal. Think you've already found your person? Here are 9 questions that need to be answered to make sure of this for sure.
1. Do you trust each other?
It's the most important. If you don't trust each other completely, you can pack your bags. Because it won't get any easier. It will be more difficult later. And if you cannot trust completely now...You must be honest out of respect for each other. If you are worried when he/she goes out with friends, calling and asking what they are doing there is not trust.
2. Do you have a similar lifestyle?
Are you a homebody and your partner loves active recreation? Do you prefer the sea, and he prefers the mountains? This is not critical if you have different image life, but you should take this into account for the future.
3. Do you learn from each other?
Life is a great journey during which we learn a lot. Your partner doesn't need to be a professor to open your eyes to something or teach you how to cook a new dish. Just be willing to learn: it will enrich you and your relationship.
4. Do you have a similar attitude towards finance?
They say that attitudes to finance and religion are two fundamental factors in the compatibility of partners. If you're frugal and your partner likes to splurge, this is an important point. It's not a taboo relationship, and it's definitely better than two cheapskates or two big spenders, you just don't have to be too extreme about finances and understand each other's idiosyncrasies.
5. Do you laugh together?
A good sense of humor can be a lifesaver in our difficult lives. Many couples note that this is what helped save their marriage.
6. Do you want the same thing?
Have you discussed plans for the future? They must coincide, no one should make big sacrifices and compromises for the sake of the other.
7. Are you comfortable together?
Often in movies or books we are shown dramatic relationships with many problems and difficulties. And we may think that this is how it should be. But actually no. In fact, this is a sign that you need to leave. With the right person it will be easy for you.
8. Do you get along with each other's friends and parents?
You don't have to be with them best friends, but nothing good will come of it if your friends or family do not accept your chosen one at all.
9. Do you love a person for who he is?
People do not change. Or rather, they change only when they want to. If you love your significant other, but want her to become better, smarter, more beautiful, then your dissatisfaction will only grow.
Breaking up a relationship with a loved one can be a very difficult and painful experience. And it’s even more difficult and painful when you are sure that the person you are forced to let go of is your soul mate.
It may seem like you've lost your loved one forever, and you have no hope left to make things right. However, the truth is that if you two are meant to be together, then you will be together - no matter what.
Know that even if you break up, sooner or later you will still be together - if only you are really meant for each other.
You were destined to be together
In this life we never meet anyone by chance. You two met because you were meant to meet. When, having met a pleasant person, you feel that your heart has begun to beat faster, your hands are shaking with excitement, and butterflies are dancing in your stomach, then, most likely, all this is due to the fact that you have really met your person. That is, deep down you already know that this person is the one. You can't find any place for happiness.
“A soulmate is a person with whom you immediately feel close and unbreakable; to which you begin to be drawn even before your mind comes into play,”—
Karen Salmanson.
When I met the love of my life, I immediately understood it. Looking into his eyes, I knew that he was the one. And I understood that we would be together no matter what - no matter what happened to us, we could overcome it.
Fate can still tear you apart
We never know in advance what cards we will receive from fate at the next hand - and sometimes they are very unexpected. The things that happen to us are often completely beyond our control, and can sometimes lead to the seemingly unthinkable.
You may even break up with the person you were convinced you would spend the rest of your life with.
But this does not mean that you will not find a path that will lead you to each other again. If this person is truly your soul mate, then nothing can break the connection between you.
And although it may take months and years for you to meet again and never be separated again, believe me, it will happen. You were meant for each other and nothing can change that.
Sometimes it's just for the better
You can’t just part with your soul mate... The parting, like the meeting, certainly had a deeper reason. Yes, yes, everything in this world has a reason, even in circumstances that force you to say goodbye to the person you love more than life itself.
Perhaps one of you still needs to grow up and mature, learn some necessary life lessons, or just be on your own and figure out who you are.
Sometimes life scatters us across different cities, countries or even continents so that over time we can appreciate our love even more. When we are far from our soulmate, it creates an even stronger attraction in our hearts for each other and makes us realize how lucky we were to meet in the first place. And if, in order to fully realize this, we need to separate, fate will certainly facilitate this.
If we are truly lucky to meet true love, our soul mate, we can no longer lose her, we can only move away from her for a while. In the end, life will bring us together anyway.
The connection between two people who are destined to be together is so strong that they will always and under any circumstances find a way to return to each other.
The concept of finding your soulmate has been important for many years. But what is a soulmate? The idea is simple: there is someone who is perfect for you and only you. Although in reality it is simply impossible to find someone related. In fact, many psychotherapists simply hate this theory.
"The concept of finding a soul mate has destroyed many marriages," says psychologist Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., author of The Happy Couple. “The reality is that in your lifetime you may not find a single person who is perfect for you.” Manhattan-based licensed clinical psychologist Joseph Silona, PhD, agrees, calling the concept "toxic."
So how do you know if a person is right for you or not?
Psychologists called 10 signs that you have found your “one” person.
You feel incredibly comfortable together
"That's one of the most important things," Goldsmith says. “It’s like the difference between breathing and drowning when you’re with someone who adds comfort to your life versus someone who doesn’t make you feel comfortable.” According to David Clow, couples therapist and author of You're Not Crazy: Letters from Your Therapist, being able to communicate with each other is a good sign that your relationship is healthy and perhaps meant for each other.
Deep down you know he's right for you
"Understand what you have found the right person, doesn’t always work out,” says Clow. - There are many factors to find the ideal partner. Some of them are instincts." Goldsmith cautions against relying solely on your gut when choosing the right person for you, but he says you should still trust what you feel deep down if someone is right for you.
You can easily pick up on your partner's emotions
Psychologists call this couples' intuition: you can "read" your partner without even saying a word. This is very powerful stuff and can help you in the long run when it comes to solving some of the more difficult problems in life. "Feeling emotionally connected is an essential part of a healthy relationship," says Clow.
You want him to be happy
That might mean spending a Saturday afternoon at the stadium to cheer on his soccer game, canceling plans to help him recover, or watching Star Wars for the millionth time because you know how much he loves it. (And, by the way, he should do the same for you.) Wanting your partner to be happy, even if it makes you uncomfortable, according to Goldsmith, is a sign true love.
You have the same values and goals
You may come from different backgrounds or have different tastes, but it is extremely important to be on the same side of what really matters in life. "You have to have the same values and goals - that's paramount," says Goldsmith. It's also one of those things that really matters in the long run, according to Clow. "Availability the same values and goals helps couples find clarity on how to create life together", he adds.
Do you respect each other
Respect is one of those weird things that people don't usually talk about, but you know exactly when it's missing. "If you feel like your partner doesn't respect you, you have nothing," Goldsmith says. “You will feel very bad.” “Respect helps build a strong foundation that will last,” says Clow.
“Wanting your partner to be happy, even if it makes you uncomfortable, is a sign of true love.”
Do you have something to say to each other?
There will always be lulls in conversations, but it's important to be able to communicate with your partner without feeling like you don't have enough time to talk. "If you can talk from dusk to dawn, that's a very good sign," Goldsmith says.
According to popular belief, soulmates “complete” you, but in reality, you are self-sufficient. " Right person improves your life,” says Clow. This may mean that your good days will become even better, and your partner will do little things to make you smile. Of course, it won't always be rainbows and butterflies, but if he adds value to your life as a whole, you'll succeed.
