Boys and girls are already born different, and every year these differences become more and more noticeable. But is it really that boys develop more slowly than their peers, or are they simply different - with different interests, ways of thinking and abilities? Child psychologist will tell you how to raise sons and daughters taking into account their gender characteristics.

We are so different

In an old joke, a three-year-old boy asks his parents for salt, and they exclaim in delight: “Sasha, you’ve finally spoken! I’ve been silent for three years!” The young talent responds by saying: “What should I talk to you about?” Approximately the same scheme in real life boys and girls develop early age.

It is believed that young ladies They begin to speak earlier, and do it fluently, non-stop, sometimes immediately reproducing phrases and sentences. And this really is the case. But the point here is not the backwardness of the stronger sex, but the fact that women’s brains are geared towards mastering social skills, communication, obtaining information, and recognizing emotions.

From an evolutionary point of view, boys need such abilities to a much lesser extent. But the boy develops better physically and finds non-standard solutions to assigned problems. For the same reason, boys are less successful at school, and C grade students are more common among them.

The education system is largely focused on the girlish style of thinking - mastering the rules, acting according to a template, monotonously repeating a task until completely mastering the skill of solving it. But if bright boys are lucky with teachers who can captivate them with extraordinary problems for which they need to come up with an answer, then learning proceeds no worse than for girls.

The greatest differences in the maturation of children of different sexes are observed in adolescence. If earlier study and knowledge were in the foreground, then at the age of 9-12 the leading type of activity changes - communication begins to dominate.

Adolescence is almost always a hormonal storm and a crisis in self-awareness and self-perception. But for boys, the difficult period can last from 12 to 18 years, and for girls - from 9-10 to 15-16 years.

In fact, the high school student is already an almost fully formed girl, while her classmate is almost a child.

Psychologists note that during this period, peers cease to be like them psychologically. And while the boy’s parents can still live as before, without changing anything in their behavior and communication strategies with their son, the girls’ parents are already in a completely different life situation.

Both boys and girls, as they grow up, ask the question “Who am I?” and rebuild their system of relationships. Therefore, it becomes extremely easy to lose the child’s trust, which was previously unconditional.

Previously, you could tell your son or daughter what to do, what to do, give an order or read a moral lesson. Now any attempt by parents to act according to the old scenario, with moralizing, orders and advice, is perceived with hostility by the child and only heats up the situation.

Even boys who are more prone to logical thinking, in adolescence they stop listening to arguments, evidence, advice and proposals for ready-made solutions. It is possible to build relationships with children during the transition from childhood to adolescence on the basis of new forms of communication.

Demonstrating understanding, using “I statements” (“I worry when I don’t know where you are,” “I’m scared,” “I’m tired,” “I’m confused”) will help you get closer to your child and understand what he’s feeling and what he’s talking about. thinks. The phrases “I understand you”, “you’re angry”, “you’re offended”, “you feel bad”, “you’re upset”, “you don’t want to do anything” will make it clear that mom and dad really want to be close, to empathize, which means you can trust them, share your experiences and listen to their opinions.

Girls in their formative years Special attention pay attention to their own appearance and attractiveness. For them, “I am beautiful” means “beautiful as a whole, as a person,” that is, the outer shell becomes inseparable from the content - skills and abilities, talents and abilities. The same applies to negative assessments, therefore psychologist Maria Lomakina advises parents to remember this feature: “It is important to refrain from making critical comments about your daughter’s figure, clothes and attractiveness. To protect a girl from rash actions, it is necessary to earn the teenager’s trust. If young girl trusts her parents, she will tell her about things that concern her, and make a decision, taking into account the information she received from her parents.”

A boy, unlike a girl, does not perceive himself only as an outer shell. It is important for him to be successful in different areas, have useful skills and abilities. In turn, parents can help him develop responsibility and problem-solving skills, which will be useful in the future.

Psychologist Maria Lomakina notes: “Communication with a father or another man becomes especially important during this period, from whose example the teenager learns to behave. Trust and authority are important to him instead of pressure and dictate from parents.”.

It should also be remembered that boys cannot withstand emotional stress for a long time, so sometimes it happens that during a long showdown, they simply turn off from the conversation and stop listening to their parents’ moralizing. It is better to talk with them briefly and thoroughly, so that the consciousness has time to catch important information.

As for the reasons for the “inhibition” in the maturation of boys, there is an opinion that their childhood is prolonged because historically active life men were much longer than women.

The period of action, adult existence, and the birth of children for women lasted from 17-18 to 35-36 years, and for men this process began a couple of years later, but also ended well after forty.

Perhaps this is also due to the fact that a young man who has to protect his family and be responsible for the well-being of his loved ones needs to gain experience, become responsible, independent and independent. In other words, grow up. And this happens much later than at 18 years old. At the same time, it is important for a young woman to give birth to healthy children, and nature has made sure that they appear as early as possible, while the body is young and full of strength.

Another theory has been put forward by geneticists who claim that in a boy’s body, hormones that stimulate physical development fight with those that are responsible for growing up and puberty. And since for an ancient man, and even for a modern man, the skill of obtaining food is more important, the psychological development of boys is slightly delayed and begins when the child is already physically prepared.

But in any case, despite gender differences, by the age of 20-23 both boys and girls turn into boys and girls. This process most often does not need adjustment, but rather deserves observation and support, which only loving and caring parents can provide.

Parents often ask this question during consultations with pediatric neurologist. Most often this happens in cases where a child - a boy - does not speak at the right time, at the age of about 2 years.

In my “detective investigation” I did not touch upon the issues physical development children, but tried to understand the gender (sexual) characteristics of the psycho- speech development in practically healthy children.

At the international conference on autism, which was held in November 2013 in Bishkek, William Edwards, director of the applied behavior analysis program at Clemson University, USA, in the context of the development of children with autism, focused on the issue of gender differences in speech development: “Several years ago A study was conducted in the United States... and they found that a typically developing girl speaks about three thousand words a day, while an autistic child speaks one word a day... Girls develop faster than boys."

I found the comparison of vocabulary normal to be unconvincing developing girl and a boy with autism. After Mr. Edwards' report, I asked him about the source of this information and also asked whether it was a myth that “boys develop later than girls.” In response, Mr Edwards said: “Almost all the literature on child development shows that, in general, boys develop slightly more slowly than girls until the age of 11 or 12 years. There are approximately two to three thousand sources on differential development on the Internet."

A few weeks before this conference, the VI International Congress “Man and Medicine. Kazakhstan". One of the speakers was Pavel Andreevich Vorobyov, Doctor of Medical Sciences, Professor, Head of the Department of Hematology and Geriatrics, Head of the Department of Standardization in Healthcare, Perm State Medical University named after. I.M.Sechenova (Moscow, Russia). The topic of his report: “ Modern approaches to the assessment of medical technologies." Mr. Vorobyov gave a definition of medical technologies: “Medical technologies are everything that concerns human health - diagnosis, treatment, medicinal and non-medicinal, prevention, rehabilitation... And all this must be assessed before being introduced into the healthcare system.”

As a neurologist specializing in the field of rehabilitation and rehabilitation, I consider the issue of gender differences in the speech and cognitive (cognitive) development of children to be very important, since the prevailing opinion in society that “boys develop more slowly than girls” is the reason for late access to specialists (psychologists, speech pathologists -speech therapists, psychiatrists,) children with pathological conditions, and, as a consequence, insufficient effectiveness of treatment measures.

Thus, the statement “boys develop later than girls” is directly related to health issues and should be confirmed by studies that comply with the principles of evidence-based medicine.

I began my search for evidence with basic textbooks on pediatrics and child neurology, intended for medical students.

In the textbook by I.M. Vorontsov and A.V. Mazurin “Propaedeutics of Childhood Diseases,” written with the participation of A.M. Korovin, the main stages of neuro- mental development children under 3 years old. There is no adjustment for gender, despite the fact that in one of the paragraphs of this chapter the following was literally written: “The development of motor speech varies greatly in terms of timing, which in no way reflects the characteristics of children’s intelligence; girls usually master motor speech earlier than boys.” .

In the book of a wonderful person, professor of the Department of Pediatrics with courses in perinatology and endocrinology of the St. Petersburg State Medical Pediatric Academy, Alexander Beinusovich Palchik, “Evolutionary Neurology,” a review of scales for assessing psycho motor development child: L.T. scale Zhurba and E.A. Mastyukova, motor and evolutionary coefficients, Denver Screening Test of Neuropsychic Development (pp. 216-231). In the scales given by Alexander Beinusovich Palchik with reference to sources, there are also no corrections for gender characteristics.

The Bayley Scale of Infant Development (Bayle Scales of Infant Development) is also widely used in the United States.

Cedit: The Bayley Test is the result of more than 45 years of research into child development, is highly valid and can be considered one of the best for early childhood. Testing is carried out between the ages of 1 and 42 months.

The test consists of 3 scales:

• mental development scale (mental scale): assesses sensation, perception, memory, pre-speech and speech abilities, prerequisites for abstract thinking;
• motor development scale: assesses simple and complex movements, gross and fine motor skills;
• scale (“protocol”) of behavior: objectifies social interactions, interests, emotions, temperament.

Each test item is scored as “passed” or “failed.” Testing time for children under 15 months is 25-35 minutes, over 15 months - up to 60 minutes.

Test result is the calculation of the mental development index (MDI) and the psychomotor development index (PDI). The mental and motor development scales contain 274 points, the child behavior protocol - 30. The test is recognized as highly valid and standardized. Initial standardization of the scales was carried out on 1262 children, and the behavioral protocol - on 791 children. In the 90s, the test was re-standardized.

The Bayley Scales of Infant Development adjusts for prematurity but does not adjust for sex.

If we return to Professor P.A. Vorobyov, in his report he paid great attention to the method of searching for relevant information (i.e. information related to the issue under discussion). And in the first place on his slide is: “searching on the Internet.”

I started searching on the Internet with Russian-language sources. I introduced the keywords: “Gender differences in the speech and cognitive development of children.” After analyzing several sites that open in an Internet search engine, I discovered that research in this area was carried out mainly by psychologists and teachers.

The first to open is S.E. Sokolova’s abstract “Gender approach to the development of boys and girls,” which provides normative indicators of speech development of children in the first years of life, and notes: “It should be emphasized once again that there are no fundamental differences between boys and girls in the rate of acquisition of phrasal speech. A slight time shift in favor of girls does not exceed 2-3 months. Therefore, you should not passively wait for your baby to speak and reassure yourself and other relatives with phrases like “All boys start talking after 3 years.”

And then there are links to studies, which are then repeated from article to article on many sites: “E. Maccoby and K. Jacklin (E.E. Maccoby, C.N. Jacklin, 1974) showed that girls have better developed verbal intelligence compared to boys. And boys, compared to girls, have better developed visual, spatial and mathematical abilities. The superiority of women in the development of speech functions begins in childhood. At 18 months, girls know about 50 words, and boys master this number of words by 22 months.”

Starting my search for the source listed in the abstract, I came across the Wikipedia article “Gender and Intelligence,” which describes the history of the issue of sex differences: “In some studies, men demonstrate higher IQ (see the work of Lynn, as well as Stumpf & Jackson , 1994). A secondary analysis of six large-scale tests conducted in the United States from 1960 to 1992 found that, on average, men scored higher on all tests. The tests included testing of various abilities, in particular, reading ability, vocabulary, mathematics, spatial orientation, associative thinking, memory, etc. Women scored higher on tests of reading, perceptual speed and associative thinking, while men scored higher on tests of spatial orientation and mathematical ability. Overall, the mean difference between men and women was small. In conclusion, the authors emphasize that the analysis data does not allow us to judge the reasons for the existing differences between test results in men and women.

In other studies, the difference between the IQs of girls (100.64) and boys (100.48) turned out to be statistically insignificant. Only the standard deviation was significant (14.1 for girls and 14.9 for boys). There were 2% more girls in the 90-115 IQ test score range, while there were more boys in the 50-60 and 130-140 score ranges. After examining more than 2,000 articles and books published since 1966, the authors of The Psychology of Sex Differences (Maccoby and Jacklin, 1974) concluded that most claims about differences between the sexes are unfounded.”

An attentive reader will probably have noticed that two articles citing the same study give completely contradictory conclusions:

• "E. Maccoby and K. Jacklin (E.E. Maccoby, C.N. Jacklin, 1974) showed that girls have better developed verbal intelligence compared to boys" - http://15-ozr.edusite.ru
• “After examining more than 2,000 articles and books published since 1966, the authors of The Psychology of Sex Differences (Maccoby and Jacklin, 1974) concluded that most claims about differences between the sexes are unfounded” - http://en.wikipedia.org

List of sources:

1. Vorontsov I.M., Propaedeutics of childhood diseases / I.M. Vorontsov, A.V. Mazurin. - 3rd edition, add. and processed - St. Petersburg: Foliant Publishing House LLC, 2009. - 1008 p.; ill.
2. Palchik A.B., Evolutionary neurology / A.B. Palchik. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2002. - 384 p.
3. “Experimental psychological examination of young children”, Mikirtumov B.E., Koshchavtsev A.G., Grechany S.V. Clinical psychiatry of early childhood. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2001. 256 p. — (“ Quick Guide"): [Electronic resource], http://psylist.net (Date of access: 01/08/2014)
4. Sokolova S.E., teacher-speech therapist, “Gender approach in the development of speech of boys and girls,” (published in the journal “Preschool Pedagogy” No. 2 2013): [Electronic resource]. 2013. URL: http://15-ozr.edusite.ru (Access date: 01/08/2014)
5. “Gender and intelligence” [Electronic resource]. 2013. URL: http://ru.wikipedia.org (Access date: 01/08/2014)

Doctors and psychologists have long noticed that representatives of the fair half of humanity are born more mature and develop much faster. Boys are born larger. Their average height is approximately 50-52 cm. The girls are smaller - about 49-51 cm, but the speed of the girls is higher. And with age, this difference becomes more noticeable. By the age of three, boys are developmentally behind girls by about six months. True, in the end, men are still taller than women.

Little princesses get on their feet 2-3 months earlier than the guys and try to make their own. Girls are also ahead in speech development: they begin to speak about 4-6 months earlier than boys.

If we talk about development in general, then at the time of birth boys are 3-4 weeks behind their peers, and by adolescence this gap in the level of development reaches two years. That is, girls grow up faster, and boys enjoy a carefree childhood a couple of years more.

Babies' brains are also structured differently. Firstly, it differs in size - boys have larger brains. And secondly, men and women do not think alike from the very beginning. This is easy to notice if you look closely at the behavior and reactions of children. The differences are inherent in nature itself. Girls have a more developed instinct of self-preservation; it is vital for them to survive in order to take care of procreation. Therefore, on a subconscious level, they tend to be cautious and do not like risk, competition and extreme situations.

Boys by nature are inquisitive explorers and conquerors. For psychological comfort, they simply need as much space as possible. They will explore “undeveloped” territories with great pleasure. This could be furniture in the apartment, closets, attics and basements. For girls, to be happy, a secluded corner is enough, which they can arrange to their liking - decorate, place their favorite toys and things dear to their hearts there. Thus, from a very early age, a purely female desire for comfort and creating one’s own “nest” manifests itself.

Guys are characterized by increased mobility, activity and a tendency to take risks. Every now and then they strive to test their strength and capabilities. They love to compete and find out who is the boss in the company. This often results in bruises, cuts and scrapes, or even more serious injuries. Therefore, you need to monitor your sons more carefully and closely in order to protect them from danger in time. Girls, as a rule, are reasonable and obedient.

I had to re-examine the biological side of the issue in more detail, as something had been forgotten. In general, from a biological point of view, girls do “grow up” faster than boys, but this only becomes apparent during puberty. Puberty in girls begins on average at 12 years of age and ends by 17 years of age, while in boys this process takes on average from 13 to 18 years of age. I can’t say exactly what exactly caused this, but I assume that nature wanted to increase the time in which a woman can give birth.

If we are talking about growing up, that is psychological development personality, which, although associated with physiological development, is still largely social. The link below has a good Wikipedia article on this topic.

If we say that growing up is primarily a social process, then we certainly come to the conclusion that it is mainly culturally determined and depends on those social conditions, in which a person grows and develops. Elkonin D.B. there is a wonderful book, “The Psychology of Play,” in which he describes the growing up of a child in the northern tribes. One of key features The culture being described is simplicity. Men are engaged in fishing, and women “keep the hearth.” So, in such a society, a child becomes an adult at the age of 8-10, when he can independently fish or take care of the house. That is, he becomes a full-fledged member of the tribe.

To be an adult in our social world is the willingness and ability to be responsible for your actions and fulfill the responsibilities assigned to you. Simply put, autonomy, self-sufficiency and integrity.

If, based on all of the above, we look at our society (by ours I mean in this case most of the developed world, from the USA to Germany), then here too the leading activities of women, which are set as a cultural norm, are somewhat easier to master than the activities of men . In the sense that it is easier for the average girl to achieve the birth of a child than for the average man to find a job with a high-paying salary that can provide for the whole family. That is why women mature earlier, because they reach maturity faster in terms of the requirements of conformity to the social role that is given to them by society.

However, if you look at the trends of recent years, which are mainly associated with the blurring of boundaries between social roles(and even genders) men and women. Men begin to take care of the house, and women begin to pursue a career; all this is successfully combined. As a result, the conventionality of division by gender is revealed, the results of many studies are called into question, including the established opinion that women mature earlier.

In general, no, girls don’t grow up faster, that’s a myth.

Many parents pay attention to the fact that their girls develop faster than boys of the same age. Some parents are wary, but this phenomenon is normal up to a certain point. Let's figure out why this happens?

Girls' brains mature faster than boys', according to experts at Newcastle University in the UK. According to The Daily Mail, experts attribute this fact to the difference in the development of boys and girls in adolescence. The study, which was conducted by the university, involved 121 people aged 4 to 40 years. During it it was received a large number of clear pictures of the brain.

As it turned out, some parts of the human brain shrank as they grew older, and unnecessary connections between cells were removed. This is a reflection of how the learning process proceeds normally, experts say. This “cleansing” in girls begins around the age of 10 years. At the same time, these processes in boys begin no earlier than they reach the age of 20.

In addition, the study results showed that critical, long connections between brain areas were still preserved. But clearing other connections made it possible to obtain a more efficient system. After such cleansing, the network is reorganized more efficiently, and it becomes easier for the brain to focus on truly important information.

When differences arise

Girls and boys are different from birth and also develop differently. When boys are born, they are larger than girls, they have a larger head and more weight. Of course, there are individual differences, but we will talk about average statistical data. Boys begin to walk a little later, about 2-3 months, and begin to speak 4-6 months later.

Neuropsychologists in the maternity hospital, recording the biocurrents of the brain of newborn children, discovered that the brains of boys and girls work differently from the very beginning.

Until about 8 years of age, boys' hearing acuity is on average higher than that of girls, but girls are more sensitive to noise and get tired of it faster. Girls also have much higher tactile sensitivity, they are more sensitive to bodily discomfort and at the same time girls are more receptive to touching and stroking.

When playing, girls often rely on their near vision: girls play with dolls, buttons in a limited space, rags, beads; a small corner is always enough for them. Fry, on the other hand, use far vision: their games are mainly based on covering a large space; they throw objects into the distance, using all the space surrounding them. Boys need more space than girls to gain full mental development. If the horizontal plane is not enough for them, then they master the vertical one: run along the backs of sofas, begin to climb onto cabinets, hang on door frames... Each child’s mastered space is reflected in the drawings differently. Boys, reproducing the surroundings of their site in drawings, show more houses, courtyards, squares, and streets than girls. Girls' albums are filled with princesses and self-portraits, while boys' albums are filled with cars and military battles.

Nature's plan?

How is it that girls and boys develop differently? Scientists believe that these are the “cunning” of nature. In evolution, two opposing tendencies are always fighting: first: nature needs to preserve what has already been created, consolidate in the species those characteristics that it needs, pass them on by inheritance and, that is, make the descendants as similar as possible to their parents. Second: progress presupposes a variety of descendants, among which there will be one that will enable the species to adapt to changed conditions and expand its habitat. These two trends reunite the masculine and feminine principles. The female sex retains in its genetic memory all the most valuable acquisitions of evolution, while the male sex easily loses old skills and acquires new ones - some of these acquisitions will definitely come in handy in the future, when extreme conditions arise.

To continue the species, a large number of female representatives is needed. Nature protects the female half of humanity, and the male half will take care of itself. All the innovations of evolution are practiced on male representatives. That is why men have a number of beneficial mutations almost equal to harmful genetic mutations. For example, slightly more deaf boys are born than girls with the same defect. Colorblindness is also more common among males. Among children with dyslexia, strabismus, stuttering, and mental retardation, there are several times more boys.

The male brain is larger, more advanced in development, but less reliable and more vulnerable. Men are more responsive to any changes, both natural and social. But nature rewarded them with search behavior: so that they could survive by finding another habitat, where it was warmer and they could find food. That is why men, including boys, have a tendency to explore undeveloped spaces, take various risky actions, they think quickly in difficult situations and know how to make non-standard decisions.

Who is stronger at what?

How do these features of the male brain affect boys' learning? In preschool and primary school age, girls think much faster than boys. Girls' speech apparatus is better developed, but their thinking is more uniform. Boys are clones of thinking outside the box and with interest, but because they are silent, we cannot see their inner world.

Of course, this does not mean that not a single girl will develop a new idea, but still, the main new tasks are solved much better by representatives of the stronger half of humanity. And girls pay more attention to the thoroughness of the decision and the accuracy of the design. Boys often find a non-standard solution to a mathematical problem, but often make mistakes in calculations, which leads to poor results. Girls are more inclined to perform the same type or template tasks, but they work out the details very carefully.

Girls' speech is more fluent, they read faster and they have more beautiful handwriting, but that side of speech that is associated with searching (solving crossword puzzles, making associations) is better for boys. Boys have more developed spatial representation, because performing spatial-visual tasks requires searching. Related to this is that boys are much more better than girls solve geometric problems: they can mentally rotate figures and superimpose them on one another. And representatives of the female half designate angles and sides with letters, and then operate with letter symbols and theorem templates.

Memo to parents

If you notice that your son is learning much more slowly than his older sister, poorly retells and writes sloppily in the copybook, don’t panic, this is a feature male mind. It is important to note that boys' childhood lasts a little longer. Doctors say that by the age of 7, boys are one year younger in biological age than girls the same age.

Boys have their own path to growing up, but since they are more focused on learning information than their peers, you don’t have to worry about their intellectual development.

When teaching her son, a mother should not compare him with herself in childhood, due to such age differences. If you scold a boy, then state your wishes briefly and concisely. This is necessary in order not to overload the boy emotionally, because boys are very difficult to bear emotional stress. If you scold him for a long time and tediously, then his brain turns off the auditory canal, as a result of which the child stops assimilating what you want to convey to him.
Interesting

As practice shows, boys, even very tiny ones, are less likely to be picked up by their parents and scolded more often than their peers, girls. In relation to them, the speech of adults contains mainly direct instructions: “Move away, give, bring, do, stop...”. And with girls, even very young ones, parents talk about emotional states: “Who is sad? I like it... Do you like it?...”

There is an opinion that the typical behavior of boys and girls is laid down in childhood by parents who give their children toys characteristic of each gender: boys - cars and soldiers, girls - dolls, Stuffed Toys and toy dishes. However, a new study from the UK casts doubt on this theory. It turned out that babies themselves, without prompting from adults, choose toys that are typical for their gender.

The dangers of early development of children, all these endless circles on modeling, increasing intelligence and mastering languages ​​from six months, have finally begun to be spoken loudly. However, most often specialists conduct the conversation in soft tones: the child will not finish playing with his parents and will lose contact with them, he will get tired, lose motivation and independence skills. Meanwhile, the problem of over-engaging children in various courses is much more serious. And excessive passion for them can be not only harmful, but also dangerous. Do you feel the difference? Eating cakes at night is harmful, but eating unfamiliar mushrooms is dangerous. So it is with early development.

The role of the mother in the life of a child is mentioned quite a lot and to some extent this topic is cross-cutting for psychology, however, the role of the father is also very important for the harmonious development of the individual. With some simplification, we can say that the father has two main tasks in relation to the child - to provide protection and to convey recognition.