...I’m honestly warning you,” the Queen shouted and stamped her foot.
- Either we will lose your company, or you will lose your nakedness.
Decide now - no, twice as fast!

Lewis Carroll "Alice in Wonderland"

The more a man is sick in the head, the more difficult it is for him to refuse or end the affair. Let's talk about refusals “from scratch”. That is, if nothing has happened between you yet, and you wouldn’t want it to happen. It is very difficult not to offend a man. The male psychology that has developed over centuries is the psychology of the conqueror. A woman is an assessment, an indicator of his success, irresistibility, sexual attractiveness and everything else. Refusal is a slap in the face, a blow to a man’s pride. You didn't choose him because he wasn't handsome, rich, sexy or smart enough. This means that somewhere there is a better male, or the woman is just an idiot for not appreciating such a treasure and is waiting for someone unknown. Hence the fights and humiliation of you with various bad words, set-ups at work and spreading rumors, signs in the entrances and threats. A situation may arise in which you will no longer be important, but the very principle of “conquering and holding at any cost” is what is most important. It starts from childhood. Everyone wants to be friends with the best person in the class, hang out with the most beautiful girl in the yard, but, not getting what they want, they settle for a deskmate or girlfriend of the beautiful and smart girl. Or they accumulate complexes within themselves, masturbating to magazine beauties.

In order for a man not to be offended by your refusal, you need to deceive him so that he does not feel rejected, or show yourself in such a way that he himself does not want to make contact. Let's face it, we often ourselves give rise to harassment. We dance provocatively, laugh wildly or make eyes. We go to dinner, thinking that they are feeding us for talking and the pleasure of looking at us, we put on short skirts and walk, swaying our hips. We promise, but don’t give, we give a signal: “I’m a female, I want it!”, and then we play hard to get and play at offended innocence. So the best way is to avoid harassment. And if you did...

An unfamiliar man on the street produces an original or not so original set of words on the topic: “Come on!” Possible answers:

Sorry, I'm in a hurry. But you can call me on this phone (a fake phone number is given);

My husband is sitting in that car over there (indicating a congestion of vehicles) and I think he will not be delighted with our acquaintance;

Sorry, but I already love one man. And I can’t look at anyone else. You are very cute, it’s true, but please understand me, I’m sorry (make a sad, idiotic expression on your face).

Young man, you have high self-esteem!

I don't want. I just don't want to. I won’t tell you why. I just don't want to.

How wonderful! I'm just going to a meeting of our religious community. Will you join me?

Let's meet! And when? No, I can’t do it on Tuesday, I’m going to have an abortion, I’ll rest on Wednesday, let’s do it on Friday!

Sorry, but I don't want to meet you. If you insist, I will call the police.

I'm really sorry, you're so cute, but I only like brunettes (blonds, redheads). No, we won’t try it, sorry, that’s just a feature. Do you want us to be friends?

Do you have a car? No? And do you meet such a girl if you don’t have a car? And why are you without flowers? How are you dressed? Do you think that in this form you have a chance?

Sorry, I don't meet men on the street. This rule is.

The main thing is to answer politely, with a smile, but to be persistent and consistent. Don’t say your name and phone number, or, conversely, give all the coordinates and say that you and your husband will be very glad to see him visiting. And he even has a girlfriend in mind. You'll definitely introduce me. You must look either like an impregnable fortress or a complete idiot. There are no other options.

If this is an acquaintance, co-worker, friend of a friend, the tactics should be similar, but more subtle.

Method one: tell them that you are a femme fatale and promised yourself not to make new connections (except for your husband or lover, who you already have). Such a sad experience for you! Suicide attempts and scenes of jealousy, unhappy men crying on your chest and abandoned wives with numerous children. No, you can't destroy anymore! It's time to put an end to it. And he will not become another victim. There were already enough of them (fictional characters are listed). It will be better for you and for him to see each other less often and not bring up this topic again.

Method two: if you don’t have a man, and the man knows about it, play at being a depressed, melancholic person, cry, feel sorry for yourself. Tell her that you are not ready for a new relationship because men are such bastards. Tell me some terrible story of male betrayal. And ask him to wait. How much - you don't know. But in such a state you cannot start a new relationship. Repeat often: “You understand me.” And smile guiltily. Men don't know how to wait.

Method three: talk about what a wonderful man you have next to you. How he looks after you, protects you, what a wonderful lover, husband, father, breadwinner, how afraid you are of losing him. How can this be changed? And you don't need it. You're so happy. And he will find himself a woman worthy. May I help?
Method four: You're busy. And in love. And they love you. Now let him imagine that someone is seducing his beloved woman. Would he be pleased?

Method five: You have a very angry and jealous lover. Second dan in karate. You're afraid of him. If he finds out, he will kill both of them. If not a karateka, then a bandit or a businessman. Nobody knows about him because you are dating secretly. He is married, but he loves you madly. Have you seen the movie "Bodyguard"?

There are actually many more ways. You probably have a lot of them yourself. The main thing is to immediately assess who is pestering you and his weaknesses. It's like a business negotiation where someone has to give in. Do not be rude or arrogant under any circumstances. This is what infuriates men the most. Be polite and cheerful. After all, it’s really nice when you are chosen from a crowd of girls, colleagues or acquaintances coming towards you. It's flattering, it confirms that you're making progress on the bitchy path. So let's not mock those who are left behind, under our sharp heels. I feel sorry for you, of course, miserable ones... But it’s impossible to make everyone happy! Even mothers of 3 children.

If a certain guy has sympathy for you, and you understand that for some reason you cannot reciprocate his feelings, then try to present your refusal in the most polite form. At the same time, it is important to observe moderation - not to become rude, but also not to answer so softly as if you were flirting.

How to politely refuse a guy without offending him

Refuse to meet someone when you are not interested in him

It is much easier to refuse further communication to a stranger than to an acquaintance, so don’t make a big deal out of it. If a similar situation arises somewhere on the street, simply answer: “Sorry, I’m in a hurry. Besides, I have a boyfriend." Such a short and very informative answer will probably save you from an unwanted acquaintance.

Refuse an invitation to a date

If we are talking about a young man you don’t know well, then the situation is simpler - you have the opportunity to almost painlessly stop all further attempts to get closer. The easiest way is to say that you already have a boyfriend, and he obviously won't be happy if you decide to go on a date.

The situation is a little more complicated if you know a man well who wants to invite you to a romantic meeting. In this case, he is probably aware of the details of your personal life. If you are not sure that you will not change your mind about this guy, then say that in the near future you are busy with work (study, family matters), and you can return to this conversation no earlier than, for example, in a couple of weeks. During this time, you will be able to think about everything and decide how interesting this young man is to you. If you are convinced that you do not want to go on a date with him in a month or a year, then you will have to act more decisively. Be clear that you don't want to date at this time. You don't have to go into details. Explain to the man that you treat him wonderfully, but look at the situation soberly and see no point in transferring your relationship with him to another format.

Gently “shut off” during a personal meeting

You can directly admit to the guy that in order to start dating or at least go on a date, it is important for you to feel a certain “chemistry”, but now this is not the case. Perhaps your heart is already occupied by someone else - in this case, tell your admirer about it. If he simply seems unattractive or uninteresting to you, then it is better not to focus on this - it is better to voice another, albeit far-fetched, reason for your refusal - otherwise you can develop complexes in a person for many years.

If you know that a personal meeting awaits you, it is better to think about the reason for the refusal in advance, so that you are definitely not caught cheating. Don't say that you just don't want a relationship with someone if that's not really the case and you're attracted to someone. It is better to admit that you have sympathy for another person, because if soon after your refusal you start dating another guy, the young man whom you “send away” will feel deceived.

Gently refuse an offer to go for a walk

It would be stupid to respond to an offer to go for a walk: “I have a boyfriend!”, because, in fact, the man is not offering you a relationship yet. In general, this even makes your task easier. Of course, often a walk is followed by proposals for a relationship, and, anticipating this, girls try to get rid of the fan they don’t like in advance.

So, what reasons for refusal will sound quite natural:

• Fatigue. If a guy invites you to go for a walk, but you yourself understand that he does not arouse your interest, you can refuse, citing fatigue. Answer that you are tired from training, work or study (choose the most appropriate option). If you periodically give such answers, then, most likely, sooner or later the guy will understand that these are just excuses, but this is unlikely to upset you.
• Busy. You can also regularly refer to employment. Here you can use all your imagination and come up with many reasons - you promised to help a friend with some business, you can’t put off some household chores, you need to work on a certain project, and the like.

It's nice to refuse communication

Of course, when a kind and polite man shows personal interest in us, whom we for some reason do not consider as a potential chosen one, we do not want to voice a rude or insulting refusal. What is the right thing to do? First of all, let the person know that you are very pleased that today he has singled you out from other women and you are grateful to him for this. Note that you like him as a person, but nevertheless you do not want to give him false hopes.

Tell him that you respect him very much, so you don’t want to deceive or mislead him. Admit that there are some reasons why you do not want to develop a relationship, and you are sure that this is unchanged. Your refusal should sound unambiguous and firm, so that the fan does not live under illusions. Let him know that you don't believe your communication is meaningful and you don't want to test it. Reassure him that over time he will see for himself that he needs another person.

How to tactfully refuse a man's offer to date

It is important to convey to the man that you really do not want to date him, but this should be done very delicately. However, he should realize that your “no” is just that, and you are not trying to “pull yourself up” or anything like that. You must voice your refusal in a personal conversation, avoiding the presence of any witnesses.

Don’t forget that if a man offers you a relationship, it means that at least he likes you, he singled you out and noted you. That is why you should not behave arrogantly or aggressively with him, treat him with understanding.

Admit that his attention flatters you, and you treat him with respect as a person, but you do not want to give him vain hopes, “lead him by the nose” or keep him in uncertainty. Tell him that he deserves to immediately know about your true attitude - you are not against maintaining friendly relations, but you do not see him as your chosen one, and you are sure that this will not change. It is quite possible that after this you will really be able to establish friendly contact with this guy for many years.

How to properly refuse sex to a guy so that he doesn’t get offended

Of course, if you do not have a close relationship with a guy (you are not dating as a couple, you have not expressed serious feelings for each other), then you should not worry that refusing sex will offend him - this is a completely natural answer. Say directly that intimacy is possible for you only in a relationship with your boyfriend or fiancé, but not otherwise.

It's another matter if we are talking about a young man with whom you are already in a relationship. In this case, since you are together, it is obvious that you like him and in the future you are considering the option of having sex. In this case, gently explain to him why this is impossible right now. So, what are the options:

You need to get used to it

Some girls find it difficult to decide to have sex almost immediately after they start dating a young man. Tell your guy that you are one of those girls who needs to fully realize that you are now a couple, and you want to get used to this feeling. Give an approximate time frame. Speak confidentially and softly. If a guy cares about you, he is unlikely to insist. However, it is still important to indicate at least approximate deadlines.

You are a virgin and this is an important step for you

If this is really the case, then there is no point in hiding it or hushing it up. Admit to the guy that you have not been intimate with other men before, and you need some time to decide to take this step. There is nothing strange or wild about this - for virgin girls such behavior is quite expected.

You don't want to be distracted

If you have already had sex, but now you don’t want to get closer, then you can tell the guy that you are immersed in thoughts about something else (problems at work, family troubles), and you don’t want him to get involved because of your distraction. these questions ruined your intimate evening. Admit that you are in a very bad mood, and this is not the best moment to give each other tenderness, but you want everything to be “on top.”

The most successful phrases for refusal in a comic form

If you want to add a little humor to your refusal, there are a few tricks you can take note of. As you know, many young people are wary of overly religious girls, and you can play on this! If a guy asks you out on a date, you can say, “That's a good idea, but I usually spend all my free time at our religious community, so I suggest we meet there. Moreover, we need new participants! Call me when you decide!” In this case, you can leave a “fake” phone number.

You can also answer this way: “I have four children, and I have no one to leave them with, so choose a place for a date that will be interesting for my children too!”

If, after such statements, a young man still calls you, then it makes sense to look at him with a new eye - perhaps he is still worthy of attention?

Men think that every single girl wants to get a guy quickly. Not so in theory. It often happens that it is necessary to refuse a man. How to refuse a guy without giving false hopes?

Guys also don’t understand how to refuse to date a girl without offending her.

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First, think it over

Are you sure you don't like him or her? Do you really want to refuse because you don’t feel the “chemistry”, your habits are annoying, your character doesn’t suit you? What doesn’t suit you: appearance, interests, social circle? Maybe you're going to refuse because your girlfriend or friend doesn't advise you, but there are no other reasons? Then pause and think about the situation again. Girls with inflated demands can still look for copies of Ryan Gosling in the flesh for a long time, while other girls develop relationships.

It all depends on how a person behaves. It’s one thing if they try to “glue” you on VKontakte, and quite another if they really court you. Is the guy or girl falling a little short of the established bar? How much exactly? Shouldn't you give a person a chance if he is serious?

Here are some tips on how to gently reject a man's advances:

1. Let him or her be sure that your “no” is the real one. The male world is full of all sorts of gossip and prejudices, just like the female one. Do not doubt that he has heard that girls usually do not refuse at all, but rather “break down”. And she, perhaps, thinks that she will ward off all her rivals, push her a little and achieve her goal. Therefore, people often absolutely do not accept an indecisive refusal. Speak in such a way that everyone understands: your “no” is the most genuine, and it will never turn into “yes” or “okay.”
2. Do not hide. Friends may advise you to avoid the guy by any means necessary. Young people sometimes also “run away” from annoying girlfriends. It is not right. You can refuse a date once or twice, ignore the conversation, come up with something “important.” But this is only a temporary reprieve. Sooner or later you will have to explain yourself, but in an inconvenient situation and at an inconvenient time.
3. Give true reasons. He will definitely ask why you don't want to date. Think it over and give him a “iron” reason. But don't lie. For example, you say something like “I’m not ready for a relationship,” and a week later you start dating someone else. Agree, this is quite strange. Or, conversely, don’t say that you have someone if you don’t. The guy will quickly find out that you lied and will resume his courtship.
4. Don't break it. Even if you don’t like the boyfriend or are disgusted, you don’t need to offend him. Many men who experienced harsh and insulting rejection in their youth later become womanizers or behave like pigs with girls.

How to politely refuse

Still don't know how to find the words? Use this "cheat sheet". Here are the prepared phrases:

• Organize a “refusal” where none of your mutual friends will see you. If someone else hears your conversation or sees you, it will be awkward. But you shouldn’t be alone either. Talk, for example, in a park or in a cafe, where there will be strangers and uninterested people around you.
• First, praise him or her for their efforts. Say that it was pleasant to communicate (even if it wasn’t).
• Then explain that you can’t be together because... (here comes your good reason). Tell him that he is not your type, or that you are focused on school (work, etc.) and are not ready to date. The main thing is not to be rude and not to get personal. In general, it is better to focus on external circumstances.
• Say one more thing: you are sure that he will definitely find a good girl who would truly love him. Praise for his perseverance: he is great, his determination is the right masculine quality. A young man can say that it will not be difficult for such a smart girl to meet a loving guy.
• You can say that you like someone else. But no assessments or comparisons are needed. Most men experience rejection for this reason more or less calmly: it’s fate.
• After that, firmly say again that nothing will work out and say goodbye. This is a difficult moment. Many will try to grab your attention and prevent you from leaving. He or she will start asking: what exactly did you not like, who you have, when you will be ready for a relationship. He will say that he will wait, ask to give him a chance. Don't let yourself get sucked into these conversations. In this case, come up with an “urgent matter”: the class is starting soon, mom is calling, you have to run to the meeting. Use the blank and quickly retreat.

Expert opinion

Any “I want” and “I don’t want” is self-sufficient, and all attempts to argue, “rationalize” it, as psychologists say, inevitably lead us into a logical trap.

When is it better not to communicate?

Your first concern is your own safety. Most guys, after the conversation described above, will adequately assess the situation and come to terms with it. Have you ever watched a guy literally “stalking” a girl? Perhaps your friend or you yourself have been in this situation.

Do you suspect that your boyfriend is inadequate: he won’t accept an answer or he might “blow the roof off”? Refuse by phone or text, and then forget about any personal contact with him. No standing at the entrance, calling or exchanging messages. Notify your family and friends, do not hesitate to threaten the police.

It's the same with an obsessive young man. It seems to him that he knows what to do if the girl refuses to date. Does he think he can talk you out of it? A minimum of communication will cure a person of stupid hopes. The faster and sharper it happens

Try to explain that he is not your type. Do this correctly and carefully so as not to humiliate him or lower his level of self-esteem. Promise that you will remain best friends if that's what he wants.

How to politely and gracefully refuse a guy if he wants to date... and so that he doesn’t get offended?

Introduce him to your girlfriend or good friend who does not have a boyfriend. There is hope that the acquaintance will go well and they will like each other. And then everything will develop into beautiful love and a strong marriage. He will understand that you politely and delicately refused him.

Make it clear that your heart is occupied by another person. Talk about him as a groom and a future husband.

Write him a message or letter. The second option can be either electronic or ordinary (paper).

Ignore him using a variety of ways. Then the poor lover won't have to say anything.

How to refuse a guy a date?

Refer to constant employment or “workload”. Everything must be believable! Your fan must believe you. Otherwise, he will begin to be skeptical of all representatives of the opposite sex.

Say that you are not in the mood, that you want to stay at home. If he asks to visit you, complain that you are not feeling well at the moment. Promise that you will call if you feel even a little better.

Imagine that you need to look after your niece or nephew. Believe it! And he will believe it too.

Say a phrase that will put everything in its place: “Sorry, I won’t go anywhere because I have absolutely nothing to wear!”

Your boyfriend invited you to a party (for his birthday) but you don't want to go? We’ll have to refuse him so that he doesn’t hope for anything.

Don't be shy to talk about natural things! Tell him that you are suffering from diarrhea. He will offer you to take medicine for this illness, but you continue to refuse to go to him. He will understand and feel sorry for you.

Admit that you have a lack of money in your wallet right now. He will try to persuade you to come without a gift. You say in response that you never want to go empty-handed to such events.

Tell the future birthday boy that you are leaving for a week. It won’t help - say that you have a business trip planned that you are not able to cancel.

Make him a promise that you will definitely celebrate his holiday. Only this will happen on another day, because you have extremely urgent matters, the solution of which will not tolerate delay.

A neighbor calls for a beer. How to refuse without him being offended? Distract him and talk about all sorts of other topics. Talk for a long time so that three hours pass. Then say that you won’t go anywhere, because time doesn’t allow it. This refusal option is suitable if he invited you to “get some air” over the phone.

Tell the person that you are on a diet and don't drink alcohol at all. Great "excuse"! Guys respect girls who never stop taking care of themselves and their appearance (despite any existing temptations).

Write a message saying that you won’t be able to keep him company because you’ll be busy all evening. Tell him that you will call him as soon as you have a free minute. Don't upset the guy! Advise to invite your mutual acquaintance or friend to “glasses”.

Great idea!

Talk about how you've had a good time the last few days. So good that I can no longer drink.

Laugh and say that he called too late, that you were “intercepted” by other people, and you will soon be leaving to join them. Agree to “intersect,” for example, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

How can a guy refuse intimate relationships? - Talk about how you don’t want him, that you’re not ready for sex, that you still have to wait with him.

Let them know that your period has started. Almost all guys are turned off by this. It is unlikely that the one who bothers you will be an exception!

You can say that you have a boyfriend and you have never cheated on him (you haven’t). A good reason to refuse!

Say that you are a girl who is interested in girls. The guy will stop “running” after you and wish you happiness.

Say you don't sleep with guys before marriage. His eyes widen in surprise. It will become clear to him that you are “not like everyone else.” Just don’t say that you’re a virgin, because then the guy will definitely not leave you alone!

Let's assume that you have been dating your boyfriend for a long time. One fine day he invites you to move in with him. You are happy, but you feel that you are not quite ready for such a turn of events (morally).

Explain everything as it is, so as not to invent anything or lie! The guy will be offended at first. Wait out his offense! She passes.

Ask him not to rush you into answering. Say that you definitely need to think things over.

First, agree to move. But with the condition that you will live separately (in an apartment) and that you will choose where exactly. Pretend that you are looking for a suitable place to live. When he gets worried, tell him that there is nothing wrong, and convince your loved one that you should wait a couple more months to live together.

Does the guy want to sign his name at the registry office without having any big wedding?

Make a real scandal if you don't like it. He will follow your lead and do everything the way you dreamed. He just doesn't want to quarrel with you.

Tell your lover that you miss the festive atmosphere, that since childhood you have been making plans for a wedding dress and other pleasant wedding little things. The guy doesn't dare to destroy your dreams.

Pout with resentment and ask your loved one:“Do I really not deserve real fun?” Your loved one will feel a little ashamed. He will apologize, hug you, and the conversation will move on to a wave of positivity.

Say that you will not agree to become his bride and wife if he does not organize everything for you as expected. Start getting ready! Soon you will be surrounded by wedding bustle in the waltz of festive preparations!

Stop talking to him. The guy won’t have to be denied anything! He will do everything to ensure that you stop harboring grudges against him.