So we say goodbye to the difficult year of the Goat, and wait for a cheerful and bright Monkey. Our unique New Year greetings for 2016 in the form of poems and holiday cards will help you to originally congratulate your family and friends on the New Year. We wish you a happy New Year 2016! The Year of the Fire Monkey will bring good luck!

Have Monkey year housewarming!
  Ah, that winter shine! Do not pass!
  Wine and fruit, great fun!
  Perhaps it’s better not to find a day!
  The height of the feast! How not to rejoice?
  And what do I wish you? Mega happiness!
  Take off in the waves among the seas!
  For life pictures - any colors!
  Iron will from the heroes!

A few more options for your choice

The monkey year has come! So raise the glass For health and love Let the goat eat carrots! And goes on a long journey. We can’t fall asleep today! Happy New Year We are with a funny monkey! Happy New Year And with all my heart I wish To everything like people In order not to fall under the spruce, Do not fall asleep under the chimes Do not dip your nose into the salad. To everything in life, as in a fairy tale. Let the girls build their eyes The wallet was not empty, Happy New Dear!

Five minutes to the clock - chimes! In the New Year, do not be sad! All problems in life will burst. Like champagne bubbles. Eat bananas, chew coconuts. May you always be lucky. Rejoice at the boss's job. And the pocket will not let you down! Sits, sad, sad. Down looking down. He doesn’t want to leave us. Warmed goat. Two thousand and sixteenth. Meet the whole country With hope, faith, a little monkey mischievous. May the wishes come true. And the way will be brighter And the crisis will go away with a goat. Wave our pen to her!

And to make it more pleasant to wish all the best to those around you and enjoy the eyes of everything around, check out our materials about, and.

On New Year's Eve, a joker took out a coat and beard of Santa Claus. He dressed up and, rejoicing that he could amuse his wife, rang the doorbell of his apartment. The wife opened and, before he had time to utter a word, threw herself on his neck, began to kiss passionately and carried her to the bedroom. And there, as crazy, she indulged with "Santa Claus" passionate love. Taking advantage of the little respite, the husband threw off a false beard and mustache. And then he heard his wife’s voice, which struck him:
- Well, well, it's you! And I didn’t recognize you at all!
So let's raise a toast to real men who know how to arrange a holiday for their wife too!

Let’s drink from, so that every next New Year our holiday table breaks more and more from events, the phone is more and more torn from the congratulatory calls of friends and more and more children and grandchildren give us gifts!

There was a man: two years ago NGOs met in a dormitory ... A year ago he was met in a one-room apartment, but in his apartment ... Now he is met in a country villa ... But they do not wait in the dormitory.
So let's drink for HIM - for the one who is met in the hostel, in the apartment, and in the villa, hoping that he will be successful! For the New Year!

Raise the glasses so that the wires of the old year are different from the wires of the train at the station: the outgoing train takes away friends and loved ones, and the outgoing year will bring us them!
Let's drink to always be like this!

Let's drink for the only day of the year when you can sit on a Christmas tree .. and do not go to the forest!
For the New Year!

New Year is not a luxury, but a vehicle in time!
So let's drink to his perpetual motion machine!

By tradition, we celebrate the New Year with champagne.
May our life in the New Year be like this champagne - light, exciting, fragrant and over the edge!

Health, joy and happiness
I wish you in the New Year,
So that neither anxiety nor adversity
Do not guard at the gate.
So that the sun gently shines,
Everything came true that the heart is waiting for
And just to be gratifying
Your whole life, like this year!

With an open heart and love
We wish you happiness and health!
May the New Year be happy new
The owner will enter your house
And along with the smell of spruce
Success and joy will bring!

The old year is leaving ...
I want to say
A lot of good words
I wish you happiness.
To live easily for you
Next year
So you forget
Woe and trouble!

Let's drink, so that in the coming year there will be shooting around us ... but only with champagne, just at the target and at close range!

Let's drink for Santa Claus and the Snow Maiden: as far as I can remember, they don’t get sick, they don’t get old and there is always money for gifts!
For us to be like that too!

At this table, all the women are beautiful, like Snow Maidens. But I would like to wish that, unlike them, the hearts of our women would be warmed by love for us, men, in the New Year.
For the beautiful and loving Snow Maidens!

May next year we have so many good and joyful events, so many good and wonderful deeds, how many lights burn in our New Year's garland!

Life is like a New Year's garland - it is worth it to burn out with one light bulb, as everyone else goes out. Well, if one of the things went wrong, everything falls out of hand.
So let's drink so that the garland of bright events in our life shimmers with all colors and never burns out!
Not to burn out next year!

Let the glasses ring
Let the sparkling wine
Let the night starfall
Looks at you through the window.
On this wonderful night
It’s impossible without a smile.
Pain and sorrow - away!
Happy new year friends!

In the village, one friend tells another:
- Yesterday Vasily came to me. First sat, paused. Then he fell upon me and raped me ... But why he came, he never said.
So that you do not have a question why I came here, I will say directly:
I came to wish everyone a Happy New Year.

May all bad fall into eternity
With the last breath of December!
And all beautiful, living
Will come to you in the morning of January!

The clock is knocking.
The old year is leaving.
Rustling his last pages ...
What was good - let it not go away
And what is unkind - will not happen again!

New Year's Eve
The snow is falling quietly
Let it be at your table,
There will be joy and laughter
Let enviable success
Waiting for you in any business
And enter without interference
Happiness in bright your home.

May you make a lot of new friends in the new year, a new highly paid job, a new car, a new country villa in which you could sit, like old, with our old friendly circle and spend the old year!

Twice the same ... New Years do not come!
You cannot celebrate the same New Year twice ...
So let's drink for the timeliness, inevitability and uniqueness of this repeating holiday! For the New Year!

Every time on New Year's Eve, my child stands by a frozen window and asks Santa Claus:
"Give me a toy! .."
I smile, put him to bed, but then I go up to the window and ask my old good friend - Santa Claus:
"Give my child happiness!".
So let's drink for the fulfillment of desires.

As you know, a person learns all his life. He studies every year, and every year, probably, becomes a little smarter ... And that means, for sure, the years also learn something - from a person and from each other.
So let’s drink so that every next year he learns from the previous only good!

May the New Year dawn on you
Give you success
And let it sound in your house
A cheerful, loud laugh.
Let a faithful friend be near
And on holiday, and in bad weather.
And let your house like a snowball
Happiness always comes!

Happy New Year! Congratulations!
We wish you happiness with all our hearts!
To live this year for you
Without sadness and worries.
To work with success for you,
And have fun on the holiday,
And good luck with your business,
And smiles on the lips.
So that love blooms like a rose
And did not fade from the frost,
And the kids are full of the house
Be happy in everything!

New Year's Eve, friends,
I wish you happiness.
Live fun and sweet
Have a million friends
Love labor, nature, darling,
And you’ll have everything ok!

Let the new year not add wrinkles,
And the old ones will be smoothed and wiped away,
Health will strengthen, save from failures
And it will bring a lot of joy and happiness!

Happy New Year! May good luck
This year will give you
Challenges will solve the problem
And bring success.
So that the soul does not know worries
And at midnight to the hour
There was moisture from the glass
You are drunk for us.

Happy New Year!
Let the fun
Make housewarming in souls
And good luck at this hour
Do not slip past you!

May all the flowers at your feet fall
Let the stars turn into emeralds
Let sorrow and sorrow go away
May your dreams come true on New Year!

Let the new year learn from the old only good! I congratulate you and wish you the most important thing - fulfillment of desires! Because when a person has what he dreamed about - he is cheerful, cheerful, healthy!
Happy New Year!

It's winter, playing with snowstorms
Frost and summer break away
And we wish you a Happy New Year,
May the New Year give you warmth!
The warmth of good luck, the joy of the first meeting,
The warmth of love, family warmth
And let it ring on New Year's Eve
Glasses Christmas glass!

Let next year that which you conceived the year before last come true! .. Congratulations! May the new year bring fulfillment of all your desires!

Each person has an unquenchable candle of his soul. But this candle is often covered with an impenetrable cap.
So let’s drink in order that in the new year the light of our soul would freely reach friends.

Let's drink to ensure that in the new year any mood is always with whom to share.

They ask one electrician if he has an interesting profession?
- Of course, my profession is interesting, but dangerous. Connect, for example, the wrong wires, and you get fucked!
So let’s drink so that in the new year, life does not enter into intimate relations with us!

What does a glass consist of? From a support and a bowl for drinks.
What does a person consist of? From the body - material support and soul - the spiritual cup.
Let’s drink for the fact that in the new year our glasses would more often be filled with fine wine, and the bowls of the soul with wonderful feelings!

We wish you Santa Claus
A bag of health brought you!
He gave everyone fun
Brought a glass of champagne
I took ailment, longing in a bag,
And hid it somewhere in the forest!

Friends! New Year will come soon.
Forget the old sorrows
And the days of sorrow, and the days of adversity
And all that joy was killed.
But don't forget the clear days
Golden hours, for a sweet heart,
And old sincere friends
Which you all loved so much.
Live new in the New Year!

I wish you on New Year
Fun sonorous like ice
Smiles as bright as amber
Health like frost in January.
May this year be a happy star
Will fit into your family comfort
Hastily with the old year
Let adversity all go away.

For New Year we will raise a toast
Let the toast be extremely simple
For happiness, friendship, laughter,
In all matters a great success,
For sensitivity, tenderness, kindness
Family life is warmth!

One man is asked:
- Why do you wear shoes two sizes smaller?
He replies:
- On purpose. My wife is ugly. Besides evil. Cooks poorly! The son is a double! Mother-in-law is a witch! ... The only joy in my life is when I in the evening ... take off my shoes!
Let's drink to ensure that in the new year we have other joys!

Once there were three wanderers. Night caught them on the way. They saw the house, knocked. The owner opened them and asked:
"Who you are?"
- Health, Love and Wealth. Let us spend the night.
“Sorry, but we only have one free place.” I’ll go and consult with my family about which of you to let in.
The sick mother said, "Let's let Health in."
The daughter proposed to let Love in, and the wife - Wealth.
While they were arguing, the wanderers disappeared.
So let's drink so that in the new year in our house there will always be a place for Health, Love and Wealth!

A good toast should come from the heart, and even more so if it is female. If your soul lacks inspiration, then our selection of the best New Year's toasts for women is just for you!

The most terrible misfortune during feasts is banality. Therefore, when calls like “let's go,” “startled,” are heard around the table, this is not even interesting to men.

No less banal is the phrase “for beautiful ladies,” which serves as a method for many men by which they try to attract the attention of the female half.

Do not forget that the company was going to have fun, so instead of such banal speeches, prepare better New Year's women's toasts.

As a rule, those who can improvise become the soul of the company. Such people do not have problems with toasts, they invent them one by one.

But, if you are not so talented and resourceful, then preparing for a New Year’s visit, where women will be at the table, flip through our collection of toasts and take on toasts for the New Year, which, in your opinion, can amuse the female part of the company.

A good housewife is good, but a beautiful one is better. A good housewife decorates the table, and a beautiful one decorates her husband.
  For slender legs, ugh you, for a beautiful mistress!

One person had a very ugly face. One day, one of his friends told him jokingly:
  “I do not sympathize with anyone in the world as I do with your wife.”
  “But if you saw my wife, you would sympathize with me,” he answered.
  I suggest a drink for the fact that all the men present here are not sympathetic, but simply envious!

New Year's toasts for women:

At this table, all the women are beautiful, like Snow Maidens. But I would like to wish that, unlike them, the hearts of our women would be warmed by love for us, men, in the New Year.
  For the beautiful and loving Snow Maidens!

The girl’s weapon is her clothes. Let's drink for general disarmament next year!

Let's drink for wives and lovers, so that next year they do not meet.

In the new year, I would like to wish women of any age to be as compelling as in the old. Dear women, be charming, attractive and loved!

New Year's toast to women:

For the New Year we will raise a toast:
  Let the toast be extremely simple
  For happiness, friendship, laughter,
  In all matters a great success,
  For sensitivity, tenderness, kindness,
  Family life is warmth!
  I raise my glass!
Well, guys, who is with me?

Toasts for women for the New Year:

One man approaches the river, spreads the bush, another, third ... and so twenty bushes ... And there, behind the last, a beautiful woman stands and waits for him. He took off one dress, another, third ... Let’s raise our glasses and drink for our prospects in the new year!

Eastern wisdom says:
  “If you want to know the strength of steel - rub it on the donkey;
  if you want to know the horse’s strength - load it;
  if you want to know the mind of a man - listen to his speeches;
  if you want to comprehend a woman’s heart -
  you will never comprehend! ”
  This toast to beautiful, but incomprehensible women!

***
  One man fell asleep and had a dream: next to him is a beautiful woman. Woke up - no one. So let’s drink so that in the New Year all good dreams come true!

Excavator Masha dug a pit and dug up the tomb of the pharaoh. The coffin lid was opened and Masha saw a young, beautiful pharaoh. She could not resist and kissed him. The prince came to life, opened his eyes and said. Masha, I will fulfill your seven desires. Masha answered “One desire, but seven times.” On the fifth approach, the pharaoh died. So let’s drink for the excavator Masha, who did not allow feudalism to develop!

Human wisdom says: be careful, do not let the woman cry, because God considers her tears! The woman came from the rib of a man. Not out of foot to be humiliated. Not from the head to excel, but from the side, to be side by side, to be equal. From under your arms to be protected. And from the side of the heart to be loved!

New Year's toasts for women:

I believe that those who say that women cannot keep a secret are wrong. You just need to remember that this is a very difficult task and women cope with it best collectively. So let's raise the glasses for this feminine original feature!

The ancient Greek sage Aristophanes said: "Each of us represents half of humanity, which is always looking for the other." Each of us lives in the hope of a happy meeting. I want to wish everyone who has not met their other half, be sure to find it in the new year!

New Year's toasts for women:

A married couple, walking along the Louvre, stops near the statue of Venus de Milo.
  The husband looks at the goddess of beauty for a long time and finally says:
  “You know, dear, the goddess is very much like you ...”
  “Well, thank God,” the wife replies, “now I realized that I am barefoot and I have nothing to wear!”
  The women we see here really look like Venus.
  But unlike her, they are well dressed! For our beauties!

Take a piece of the sun in a glass
Heaven spring purity
  Add the tenderness of the hands of my beloved
  And the lips are crazy warmth.
  Add jealousy and sadness
  And I'll take this potion
  For these obscure women
  Which I still love!

New Year is, first of all, a feast, designed not only to saturate, but to entertain the guests. The atmosphere at the New Year's table is our everything, on which depends on the mood in which the guests will leave the host house, and even under what star they will live the next year. Celebrating the New Year of the Monkey 2016, do not forget about comic toasts.

So, the Monkey rules! Cheerful and fervent, appreciating sparkling humor and non-standard wishes. And also - brevity and capacity. Boring and long speeches can somewhat spoil the holiday and cause bewilderment of the mistress of the year. But I would like to wish so much! Is it possible to “shove” the floridity of words into a short and dynamic New Year’s speech? Let's try. Here are some tips on how to pick up comic toasts for Monkey's New Year 2016.

Divide and detail toasts

The main rule of the New Year's (and indeed any) banquet speech is not to overdo it and not to bother guests with it. Therefore, if you have something to say, say it, but not for long, or in portions. And since you will meet the year of the Monkey, this requirement is doubly relevant.

Short wishes, four poems flavored with elegant humor, are exactly what you need on New Year's Eve. They can be prepared, at least a few dozen, devoting each individual guest or group of guests - colleagues, friends, godparents, neighbors - with whom you are going to celebrate.

Divide the toasts into “female” and “male”, if the wish is too long, “break” it into several parts or reduce it.

New Year's toasts should be like fireworks - bright, catchy and short.

2016 New Year's comic toasts on a corporate party

Real New Year's celebrations begin not at home at five to twelve, but on the eve of December 29 or 30 at work in a circle of colleagues. With these wonderful people you have been successfully solving production problems for the whole year and achieving high results, how not to congratulate each other on the victories achieved?

And do not forget to greet the mistress of the coming year in the midst of a corporate party. The monkey is omnipresent, you look, and your company will not pass by its attention.

Toast 1.   Whoever said that a monkey is a stupid animal is wrong because it will never eat an unpeeled banana.

Whoever said that a monkey is a frivolous animal is also wrong, because it seriously takes care of its cubs.

Who said that a monkey climb trees thoughtlessly is also wrong, because it calculates the most convenient and profitable route.

Based on the foregoing, I wish everyone this year to be in the shoes of a monkey: to be smart and picky in acquaintances; be reliable and gentle in the family; to be prudent and principled at work.

And also - to be tenacious, like a monkey on branches, when it comes to luck, happiness and love.

Toast 2.   If this year you are told the phrase: "You are like a monkey," do not be offended - this is a compliment and a signal for action.

Monkeys like to climb trees, climbing to the very tops, so that everyone present here will have a chance to reach the heights in their work.

Monkeys choose the ripest and sweetest fruits, so let life, dear colleagues, present only tidbits to you.

A monkey always takes everything that she needs - take it and you from life not only everything you need, but also the best.

And be proud of yourself all year - because to be like a monkey means to be a winner.

Comic toasts for the New Year 2016 for a home feast

For a cheerful company that craves humor and good wishes, any toast is suitable, the main thing is that it be “fresh”, reflect the secret desires of each of those present and that the Monkey is necessarily mentioned in it.

Toast 3.   Monkey - moderately drunk,
Monkey is fun.
We want a monkey
Happiness, vivacity, warmth.
We answer the Monkey:
“Honey, come in!”
May your year be happy
And bring wealth.
And good luck and health,
And career fast growth,
A house so that the cup is full,
Who has love - seriously.
Rest for us - in the Canaries,
So that friends for us are a mountain ...
... And also - cutlets fire us
And open the champagne.
Happy New Year!

Toast 4.   Attention! All equal to the Monkey!
Firstly, she is an optimist, and this is a salvation trait for all life's troubles.
Secondly, she never has troubles, because she is an optimist.
Which is what I wish for everyone.

Toast 5.   Friends. It's a shame for me for the Monkey. Everyone makes fun of her, no one believes in the prudence of this animal, they write jokes about her ... But she’s smart. Listen to this.

Two monkeys found an atomic bomb and out of curiosity decided to dismantle it. When one already unscrewed the last screw, the second suddenly came to her senses: “Hey, friend,” she says, “but she will not explode ?!”

“Maybe it will explode,” the first monkey says, “but don’t worry, I have one more.”
Why am I? May each of you always have an emergency exit from the most explosive situation.
Comic toasts for the year of Monkey 2016 for a bachelorette party
A special atmosphere reigns at the New Year's parties, where unmarried women usually gather, ready to make a little joke about their idle position and, if possible, to correct it by making magic wishes on a magical night.
To each other and to themselves, beloved, each of them desires himself-himself. And they don’t even make toasts, but some kind of magic ...

Toast 6.   Monkey, monkey, come on, hear me
We all call you in chorus.
Under the holiday tree, and ourselves - with a needle,
We will sing a hymn for you.
We try on your temperament of monkeys
And he really likes us:
We can be kidding, we can fool around -
Seriousness has gotten already.
Here you have bananas, but from the Monkey
We ask for nothing at all -
Salary increases, from Saint Laurent dress,
And shoes for him.
Open your business and grow
Within 3-5 days,
Buy yourself a villa, away from the world -
Hiding from business in it.
Oh well, his business. May the crisis end
Then we will turn all the mountains.
Give us the guy hot macho
So that we have a paradise together.
All happiness in personal life, girls!

Toast 7.   Have you noticed, dear ladies, that the Monkey is annoying everyone? The manner of behavior, the habit of admiring your reflection, the ability to outwit everyone and circle around your finger ...

I don’t know how it is according to Darwin, whether all people descended from monkeys ... But real women - for sure. Here, even scientific evidence does not need to be sought. We are beautiful, we are with character, we are stubborn, we are cheerful, we are kind, we are talented. In a word, real monkeys. For us and our New Year!

What New Year's feast without toasts? We offer you a selection of original and gunpowder of funny toasts written specially for the New Year 2016. I think you already know that the coming year is declared the Year of the Monkey, which means that no one will be bored.

I always celebrate New Year according to the requirements of the eastern calendar. In the year of the Pig - he got drunk like a pig, in the year of the Horse - he neighed like a horse, in the year of the Dragon - he launched fireworks at midnight, and in the year of the Dog - he went to bed on a rug. Let’s drink for the coming year of the Monkey, when you can do anything and still celebrate the New Year correctly.

Scientists are still arguing about the origin of man. Darwin decided that we are the ancestors of monkeys, religion says that God created us, and we are possibly the brainchild of extraterrestrial civilizations, toys of some alien mind. I don’t know who is right, but we look like monkeys when we have fun and fooling around, we turn to God when it’s hard for us, and if green people appear, it’s a trumpet. Let's drink for fun.

In a small town, I don’t remember which one, at night part of its inhabitants managed to get out of the zoo. They were caught by the local police for a long time. As a result, everyone was found, everyone was caught except for the monkeys. Already, the sun began to rise slowly, but primates are still not visible and inaudible. Tired, exhausted police officers, not knowing what to do, returned to the station. Imagine their amazement when they saw all the missing monkeys there, which, incidentally, did not waste time. It took three days to bring the site back into human form. Let’s drink to the tailed heroes who have done what we can only dream of.

Here are many who believe that man descended from a monkey, so to speak, evolved. And I’ll tell you, these monkeys have evolved, they are smarter than us, because they quickly realized that work and work are not so funny and enjoyable activities. For the right evolution, gentlemen!

Once every twelve years on New Year's Eve, a Goat and a Monkey meet. The goat says every time:

- Monkey, be prudent, sedate and responsible.

And the monkey always answers:

- Do not be a bore.

So stop nerd, let's have a drink!

Goats feed exclusively on greens and straw, and monkeys are almost omnivorous. Girls, down with the diet! Let's have a drink and have a good bite!

Do you know what unites a monkey and a woman? They both love to spin in front of a mirror. Because beauty is a terrible force! Let's drink to the beauty!

The year of the Fire Monkey is coming. So let's drink “fiery water” and meet this year “with a twinkle”.

Women often have to be a predator, like a tiger, then fluffy and affectionate, like a cat, then dazzling like a dragon, then thrifty like a mouse. In the Year of the Monkey, it's time to relax. Let's drink, girls, and don't give a damn about what they think about us.

The monkey is the funniest animal of the eastern calendar. Let's drink and have fun this New Year's Eve.