Who in the family should cook? Housework. Who in the family should cook, clean and do laundry? Who should cook in the family?

A man is a breadwinner, fully providing for the family, and a woman is a housewife, on whom the comfort in the house and the satiety of everyone in the family depends. Just a few decades ago everything was exactly like this. Nowadays, a lot has changed: women work equally with men. There has been a redistribution of responsibilities, and the traditional way of life no longer fits into modern realities.

“Everyday life ate us up.” Isn't this phrase the main argument for divorce? But it seems that what’s difficult is deciding who will do what? For example, ironing, washing, cleaning, cooking fall on the wife’s shoulders, and the man does men’s things: screwing in light bulbs, nailing shelves. But, you must admit, no one will hammer nails every day, but cleaning and cooking are exactly what you can’t escape. A little unfair, isn't it? A woman comes home from work, and a whole heap of household chores falls on her shoulders, which she is able to redo only under the threat of a death sentence. Because of this, conflicts arise in the family. To prevent this, it is worth distributing all family responsibilities in advance.

First, all family members need to gather for a family council and decide who would like to do what. Maybe the husband loves to cook, and for him it is not only not difficult, but also gives great pleasure. But washing dishes, which is a common thing for you, he can’t stomach. By the way, don’t forget to compare all household chores by degree of difficulty. Otherwise, it will be unfair if you agree to wash dishes, cook and clean, and he becomes the main one in changing garbage bags.

If one of the household members is very tired at work, let him take on housework that does not require special effort. For example, it will check homework with children or for a walk with the dog. It is very important to take into account the employment, skills and preferences of each member of the household.

New family traditions

As a child, we, like a sponge, absorb everything that happens in the family. That is why in adulthood we begin to project onto our family the traditions that our parents adhere to. For example, in your family, the father always got up with the children and got them ready for school. Therefore, it will be quite natural for you if your husband does the same. However, your family is not your parents' family. And don't forget about this. Now you have new ones family traditions. It is on this basis that conflicts and misunderstandings most often arise. In this case, the main thing is to recognize the problem in time and, just as important, to respond to it correctly.

Say no to gender slurs

Forget about the medieval division of labor. You should not divide all responsibilities into male and female. Who cares who cooks dinner as long as it's delicious? By the way, the best chefs are men. However, women, despite such a widespread opinion, can easily hammer a nail and screw in a light bulb. The times when a woman's place was in the kitchen are behind us. Do not be guided by the opinions of others, do what is convenient for you and your family.

Child labour

Involving children in household chores is not only right, but also necessary. Even a small child can collect toys and help parents with cleaning. Older children can take out the trash or go to the store. They are excellent housekeepers, so you can safely give them small tasks.

Spring cleaning is just what will bring your family together even more. That is why try to do everything together. Firstly, this way you can deal with dust faster, and secondly, joint work unites. Let the children sort out their things, put their toys in their places, wipe off the dust and water the flowers. What you do with your own hands is valued much more, so in the future they will always try to maintain order.

Minor adjustments

Any to-do list will certainly be subject to numerous changes. You shouldn’t always show your integrity. For example, if it turns out that your husband has an important meeting tomorrow, and his shirt, wash the shirt yourself. This does not mean at all that you are once again putting all the housework on your shoulders. This is just a help to a loved one. Your husband will be grateful to you if you wash and iron his suit. Don't be afraid to give each other a helping hand.

There is safety in numbers

It is important that household responsibilities do not ultimately fall on the shoulders of just one person. If the person responsible for the dishes forgot to wash them, or simply didn’t have time, wash the dishes yourself. However, you shouldn’t take everything upon yourself: mutual assistance is important here, not shifting responsibilities. And if you began to notice that some family members have become too forgetful and washing the dishes has gradually become your responsibility, why not leave the dishes in the sink until dinner? Someone will definitely not get clean forks, and then they will immediately remember that they should have washed the dishes after dinner. Yes and washing machine will instantly unload if one morning it turns out that the jeans did not have time to dry because someone forgot to hang out the laundry. Avoid conflicts. Don’t make comments at home: they themselves understand perfectly well what their forgetfulness and inattentive attitude can lead to. Just talk to each other and make compromises.

Good word

Don't forget to praise each other for a delicious meal, washed dishes, or a clean room. This will be the best motivation for all family members. By correctly distributing household responsibilities, you will be surprised how much free time you have for relaxation, hobbies and communication with each other.

Family responsibilities were distributed by Polina Kuznetsova

Family responsibilities are a topic that is a source of conflict for most couples. Who should do the dishes and who should do the cleaning? Who should provide financially for the family, and who should babysit the children? How to correctly distribute responsibilities in the family and at the same time maintain family happiness?

This is exactly what we will tell you about today.

But still, we should not forget that each person still has his own concept of women’s and men’s work. Therefore, quite often relatively this issue Misunderstandings, friction and even conflicts arise in the family.


How to properly distribute responsibilities between spouses?

Actually, it's not that difficult.

  • Cooking food– the most time-consuming and responsible duty. After all, you need to cook often, and it is desirable that the food be tasty. If both spouses know how to cook and love to do it, then it is best to distribute this responsibility equally. Unfortunately, this option is not suitable for everyone, since one of the spouses may work longer than the other. Then you can find another way out, for example, on weekdays the one who comes first cooks, and on weekends the other spouse does the cooking.
  • Cleaning- an important component of household duties. Let's immediately define what is meant by the word cleaning: wipe the dust, collect things, vacuum, wash the floor, take out the trash. It is best to distribute these responsibilities equally between spouses. For example, a husband can vacuum and take out the trash, and a wife can dust and do wet cleaning, or vice versa. If the family already has children, they should also be involved in housework. This way they will also get used to some responsibility. However, when distributing responsibilities, it is necessary to take into account the capabilities of each family member.
  • Washing dishes- also quite an important stage in family relationships. Everything here is quite simple, the dishes can be washed either in order of priority, or by adhering to the rule “When you eat, you wash the dishes after yourself.”

In a word, so that your family lives happily, household chores should be done together .

Many married couples fail to correctly distribute responsibilities between spouses, which leads to frequent quarrels. Therefore, the women's site “Beautiful and Successful” decided to turn to its married readers to give them some tips to solve this common problem.

A century ago, family responsibilities were simple and clear: men were the breadwinners, and women ran the household.

But today everything has changed, and modern women devote no less time to work than their husbands. They are catastrophically unable to do all the housework on their own.

At the same time, under the influence of genetic memory, representatives of the fairer sex still try to cover the maximum amount of work.

Of course, such stress does not affect the well-being and psyche of women in the most positive way. As a result, the work remains unfinished, fatigue takes on a chronic form, and constant dissatisfaction and irritation settles in the female soul.

The problem of how to distribute responsibilities in the family is no less worrying for those couples in which women do not work at all, but only do housework and raise small children. After all, in the house in which the baby lives, various chores tend to never end.

A small child means endless washing, ironing and cleaning. It’s almost impossible to stand at this conveyor all the time. Therefore, some of the housework should be done by the spouse, even though he spends almost the whole day at work.

Correct distribution of responsibilities is the key to a calm family environment and home comfort. We need to approach this issue very seriously, and solve it together.


In order to distribute household responsibilities, you first need to gather with the whole family for advice. It is not at all necessary to specially convene such a meeting; you can simply raise the issue during dinner.

Since the issue of distribution of affairs between all household members worries the mother of the family most of all, it is she who should organize its solution. The following tips from the site will help you do this easier and more correctly:

  1. It is necessary to make a list of all the tasks that any adult family member can handle without much difficulty. These include, for example, washing using washing machine, drying clothes, walking the dog, washing dishes, taking out the trash, vacuuming the floor carpets, buying groceries at the store. These tasks can be assigned to children of high school age.
  2. It is worth emphasizing in this list those cases that most often cause disputes. As a rule, none of the family members wants to wash dishes, floors, or take out the trash. The question of how to distribute the household responsibilities that cause the most problems can be resolved using duty schedules. Then everyone will do the unpleasant work in turn.
  3. When preparing for a home meeting, a woman should also write a list of responsibilities that she will unconditionally undertake. These should be things that require certain skills and experience, for example, cooking, mending leaky things, checking children’s homework in certain subjects, handwash delicate items, caring for indoor plants, etc.

How to distribute responsibilities around the house if you have a small child

When a baby appears in a family, a woman devotes almost all her time to him. This makes it much more difficult, which a young mother sometimes cannot devote even a minute to. A married couple should be prepared for such an emergency situation even before the baby arrives.

The wife must explain to the young father that a lot of things will be entrusted to his shoulders during this difficult period.

The question of how to distribute responsibilities in the family in this case, it is correct to start considering the list of tasks that can be entrusted and entrusted to the new dad, taking into account the fact that he is at home only in the evenings and on weekends.

  • Any dad can easily cope with such a simple task as walking with a stroller in the fresh air. By taking on the task of walking with the baby every day in the evenings, dad will kill two birds with one stone: he will allow mom to calmly do something around the house and get some rest himself.
  • Quite tangible help to your wife, constantly busy with baby, a man will have it if he buys all the necessary products according to the list in the store.
  • A rather pleasant duty for a man in a family is to bathe a child. After one year, dad will be able to bathe babies without mom’s help.
  • If a man knows how to cook well, let him do it at least from time to time.
  • Some dads simply masterfully change their babies' clothes, put them to bed,... By performing all these pleasant duties every day, a man greatly helps his wife, who at this time can do ironing, cooking dinner or washing dishes.
  • Since the rights and responsibilities of all family members should be equal, a housewife mother from time to time needs to take a day off from all household chores. On such a day off, she can go to a meeting with friends, to a massage parlor, to a hairdresser, etc. While she is not at home, her husband will look after the baby.

Distribution of responsibilities in the family: fundamental points

In general, of course, how all household chores will be divided among household members is decided individually in each family. It is impossible to foresee all the nuances of relationships between family members. But still, some principles will remain unchanged in all cases.

  • To each according to his abilities. It doesn’t matter who will cook, who will pay the bills, and who will do the shopping. It is important that the one who is entrusted with these responsibilities copes better than others. There are some men who know how to find stores with quality goods and the best prices. So why not entrust them with the periodic purchase of products? And if this is the talent of the youngest child in the family, then it is he who should deal with green pets.
  • Equality for everyone. Household responsibilities need to be distributed among all its members. Even preschool children must do some work within their capabilities, for example, cleaning up their toys.
  • Mutual assistance. Of course, some of the duties assigned to the child can be performed by one of the parents, for example, in a situation where the student needs additional time to prepare for an important test. And vice versa, if the mother always picks up the youngest child from kindergarten, but one day at the end of the month she is unable to do this, either her husband or one of the older children can replace her.

Much depends on the correct distribution of responsibilities in the family, including the strength of relationships in it. Therefore, psychologists recommend that all those women who are trying to independently carry the burden of housework on their backs urgently throw off the unbearable burden and call on their loved ones for help.

After all, a family is created precisely for this purpose, so that its members help each other in everything.
--
Author – Pelageja, website www.site – Beautiful and Successful

Copying this article is prohibited!

In order for relationships to develop harmoniously, and the ship of family happiness not to crash on the rocks of the notorious family life, the question about Today in the women's club “Those over 30” will be discussed is exactly this.

All families can be divided into three groups:

  • patriarchal,
  • matriarchal,
  • egalitarian.

In a patriarchal family there is no division of responsibilities in the family: the wife does all the housework, that is, she cooks, washes, cleans, raises children and takes care of pets. And even if it works.

In such a family, it will be comfortable for a woman who believes that this is how it should be, this is how things are done, as well as those who do not want to build a career, but feels great in the role of a “bird” that builds its “nest”, creates warmth and comfort, and the man “brings a mammoth” and provides trips to the Canary Islands.

In a matriarchal family, roles change dramatically. Woman - "breadwinner".

As a rule, this is an always busy business woman; she is the one who decides what needs to be bought for the house, where to invest, and how to earn money for a vacation. The man acts as a "housekeeper", performs all the duties assigned to a woman in a patriarchal family.

There is no division of responsibilities in such families as such. Everything (regarding housekeeping) falls on the shoulders of one of the spouses.

But in modern society You can find egalitarian types of families. This option can be called the most democratic, husband and wife as partners, work harmoniously for the benefit of common interests: both earn as much as they can, do business together - usually according to the principle “it’s not so unpleasant for me” or “I have free time.”

On what principles is the division of responsibilities in an egalitarian family based?

Deciding who will do what, even in families with a “thriving democracy,” is not so easy. But the basic principles boil down to the following:

  1. Do what you like best. There are men who love to cook, but hate clearing the table. Or vice versa. Of course, you can argue here, because sometimes you don’t want to do anything at all. Then you need share responsibilities by agreement: Someone cooks alone, which means someone else washes the dishes. If you have children, you can trust them to wash the dishes and also teach them to help cook. This will prove to be a useful educational method and they will thank you in the future.
  2. Not division, but alternation of responsibilities in the family. This means that there is no need to clearly differentiate: the wife cooks, washes the dishes, wipes the dust; the husband does the laundry, takes out the trash, peels the potatoes. Here it is proposed to change roles. This will allow you to relax a little and Do not perceive any duty as routine. Another question arises - how can you alternate household chores if, for example, a man does not like fiddling around at the stove at all. You can make an exception for one job. And hence the next principle.
  3. Who does what better? It happens that one person just irons shirts perfectly. And it doesn’t have to be that it’s a woman. Perhaps your spouse is doing a great job with this difficult task. Maybe his parents taught him or he lived as a bachelor for a long time. In general, be that as it may, this principle also works well.

How to cheat?

For many women, the question of division of responsibilities in the family literally haunts them. This happens when a man believes that he “shouldn’t” do “women’s things.” And he thinks he can just come home, stretch out on the couch and watch TV.
And you, exhausted from work, start cleaning, cooking, checking the children’s homework, in general, spinning like a squirrel in a wheel. It’s understandable why you become irritable, and you may even start a scandal. It just won't lead to anything. No good.

Here you need to act cunningly. And words about the division of responsibilities in the family don’t even need to be said. Just try, for example, on a weekend start some kind of “feast” if you have children. And cook something with the whole family. Turn it into a game.

And if there are no children yet, you can invite him to cook some super-erotic dish for dinner together. And then, on occasion, praise him for what he has I did something much better than even you!

There is no need to order, just skillfully influence with the help of the “gingerbread” - and then at least once a week you will be able to take a break from cooking.

Many married couples fail to properly distribute responsibilities between spouses, which leads to frequent quarrels. Therefore, the women's site “Beautiful and Successful” decided to turn to its married readers to give them some tips to solve this common problem.

A century ago, family responsibilities were simple and clear: men were the breadwinners, and women ran the household.

But today everything has changed, and modern women devote no less time to work than their husbands. They are catastrophically unable to do all the housework on their own.

At the same time, under the influence of genetic memory, representatives of the fairer sex still try to cover the maximum amount of work.

Of course, such stress does not affect the well-being and psyche of women in the most positive way. As a result, the work remains unfinished, fatigue takes on a chronic form, and constant dissatisfaction and irritation settles in the female soul.

The problem of how to distribute responsibilities in the family is no less worrying for those couples in which women do not work at all, but only do housework and raise small children. After all, in the house in which the baby lives, various chores tend to never end.

A small child means endless washing, ironing and cleaning. It’s almost impossible to stand at this conveyor all the time. Therefore, some of the housework should be done by the spouse, even though he spends almost the whole day at work.

Correct distribution of responsibilities is the key to a calm family environment and home comfort. We need to approach this issue very seriously, and solve it together.

In order to distribute household responsibilities, you first need to gather with the whole family for advice. It is not at all necessary to specially convene such a meeting; you can simply raise the issue during dinner.

Since the issue of distribution of affairs between all household members worries the mother of the family most of all, it is she who should organize its solution. The following tips from the site will help you do this easier and more correctly:

  1. It is necessary to make a list of all the tasks that any adult family member can handle without much difficulty. These include, for example, doing laundry using a washing machine, drying clothes, walking the dog, washing dishes, taking out the garbage, vacuuming carpets, and buying groceries in a store. These tasks can be assigned to children of high school age.
  2. It is worth emphasizing in this list those cases that most often cause disputes. As a rule, none of the family members wants to wash dishes, floors, or take out the trash. The question of how to distribute the household responsibilities that cause the most problems can be resolved using duty schedules. Then everyone will do the unpleasant work in turn.
  3. When preparing for a home meeting, a woman should also write a list of responsibilities that she will unconditionally undertake. These should be tasks that require certain skills and experience, for example, cooking, mending leaky things, checking children's homework on certain subjects, hand washing delicate items, caring for indoor plants, etc.


How to distribute responsibilities around the house if you have a small child

When a baby appears in a family, a woman devotes almost all her time to him. This makes it much more difficult, which a young mother sometimes cannot devote even a minute to. A married couple should be prepared for such an emergency situation even before the baby arrives.

The wife must explain to the young father that a lot of things will be entrusted to his shoulders during this difficult period.

The question of how to distribute responsibilities in the family in this case, it is correct to start considering the list of tasks that can be entrusted and entrusted to the new dad, taking into account the fact that he is at home only in the evenings and on weekends.

  • Any dad can easily cope with such a simple task as walking with a stroller in the fresh air. By taking on the task of walking with the baby every day in the evenings, dad will kill two birds with one stone: he will allow mom to calmly do something around the house and get some rest himself.
  • A man will provide quite tangible help to his wife, who is constantly busy with the baby, if he buys all the necessary products according to the list in the store.
  • A rather pleasant duty for a man in a family is to bathe a child. After one year, dad will be able to bathe babies without mom’s help.
  • If a man knows how to cook well, let him do it at least from time to time.
  • Some dads simply masterfully change their babies' clothes, put them to bed,... By performing all these pleasant duties every day, a man greatly helps his wife, who at this time can do ironing, cooking dinner or washing dishes.
  • Since the rights and responsibilities of all family members should be equal, a housewife mother from time to time needs to take a day off from all household chores. On such a day off, she can go to a meeting with friends, to a massage parlor, to a hairdresser, etc. While she is not at home, her husband will look after the baby.


Distribution of responsibilities in the family: fundamental points

In general, of course, how all household chores will be divided among household members is decided individually in each family. It is impossible to foresee all the nuances of relationships between family members. But still, some principles will remain unchanged in all cases.

  • To each according to his abilities. It doesn’t matter who will cook, who will pay the bills, and who will do the shopping. It is important that the one who is entrusted with these responsibilities copes better than others. There are some men who know how to find stores with quality goods and the best prices. So why not entrust them with the periodic purchase of products? And if this is the talent of the youngest child in the family, then it is he who should deal with green pets.
  • Equality for everyone. Household responsibilities need to be distributed among all its members. Even preschool children must do some work within their capabilities, for example, cleaning up their toys.
  • Mutual assistance. Of course, some of the duties assigned to the child can be performed by one of the parents, for example, in a situation where the student needs additional time to prepare for an important test. And vice versa, if the mother always picks up the youngest child from kindergarten, but one day at the end of the month she is unable to do this, either her husband or one of the older children can replace her.

Much depends on the correct distribution of responsibilities in the family, including the strength of relationships in it. Therefore, psychologists recommend that all those women who are trying to independently carry the burden of housework on their backs urgently throw off the unbearable burden and call on their loved ones for help.

After all, a family is created precisely for this purpose, so that its members help each other in everything.
--
Author – Pelageja, website www.site – Beautiful and Successful

Copying this article is prohibited!

In order for relationships to develop harmoniously, and the ship of family happiness not to crash on the rocks of the notorious family life, the question about Today in the women's club “Those over 30” will be discussed is exactly this.

All families can be divided into three groups:

  • patriarchal,
  • matriarchal,
  • egalitarian.

In a patriarchal family there is no division of responsibilities in the family: the wife does all the housework, that is, she cooks, washes, cleans, raises children and takes care of pets. And even if it works.

In such a family, it will be comfortable for a woman who believes that this is how it should be, this is how things are done, as well as those who do not want to build a career, but feels great in the role of a “bird” that builds its “nest”, creates warmth and comfort, and the man “brings a mammoth” and provides trips to the Canary Islands.

In a matriarchal family, roles change dramatically. Woman - "breadwinner".

As a rule, this is an always busy business woman; she is the one who decides what needs to be bought for the house, where to invest, and how to earn money for a vacation. The man acts as a "housekeeper", performs all the duties assigned to a woman in a patriarchal family.

There is no division of responsibilities in such families as such. Everything (regarding housekeeping) falls on the shoulders of one of the spouses.

But in modern society you can find an egalitarian type of families. This option can be called the most democratic, husband and wife as partners, work harmoniously for the benefit of common interests: both earn as much as they can, do business together - usually according to the principle “it’s not so unpleasant for me” or “I have free time.”

On what principles is the division of responsibilities in an egalitarian family based?

Deciding who will do what, even in families with a “thriving democracy,” is not so easy. But the basic principles boil down to the following:

  1. Do what you like best. There are men who love to cook, but hate clearing the table. Or vice versa. Of course, you can argue here, because sometimes you don’t want to do anything at all. Then you need share responsibilities by agreement: Someone cooks alone, which means someone else washes the dishes. If you have children, you can trust them to wash the dishes and also teach them to help cook. This will prove to be a useful educational method and they will thank you in the future.
  2. Not division, but alternation of responsibilities in the family. This means that there is no need to clearly differentiate: the wife cooks, washes the dishes, wipes the dust; the husband does the laundry, takes out the trash, peels the potatoes. Here it is proposed to change roles. This will allow you to relax a little and Do not perceive any duty as routine. Another question arises - how can you alternate household chores if, for example, a man does not like fiddling around at the stove at all. You can make an exception for one job. And hence the next principle.
  3. Who does what better? It happens that one person just irons shirts perfectly. And it doesn’t have to be that it’s a woman. Perhaps your spouse is doing an excellent job with this difficult task. Maybe his parents taught him or he lived as a bachelor for a long time. In general, be that as it may, this principle also works well.

How to cheat?

For many women, the question of division of responsibilities in the family literally haunts them. This happens when a man believes that he “shouldn’t” do “women’s things.” And he thinks he can just come home, stretch out on the couch and watch TV.
And you, exhausted from work, start cleaning, cooking, checking the children’s homework, in general, spinning like a squirrel in a wheel. It’s understandable why you become irritable, and you may even start a scandal. It just won't lead to anything. No good.

Here you need to act cunningly. And words about the division of responsibilities in the family don’t even need to be said. Just try, for example, on a weekend start some kind of “feast” if you have children. And cook something with the whole family. Turn it into a game.

And if there are no children yet, you can invite him to cook some super-erotic dish for dinner together. And then, on occasion, praise him for what he has I did something much better than even you!

There is no need to order, just skillfully influence with the help of the “gingerbread” - and then at least once a week you will be able to take a break from cooking.

Many married couples fail to properly distribute responsibilities between spouses, which leads to frequent quarrels. Therefore, the women's site “Beautiful and Successful” decided to turn to its married readers to give them some tips to solve this common problem.

A century ago, family responsibilities were simple and clear: men were the breadwinners, and women ran the household.

But today everything has changed, and modern women devote no less time to work than their husbands. They are catastrophically unable to do all the housework on their own.

At the same time, under the influence of genetic memory, representatives of the fairer sex still try to cover the maximum amount of work.

Of course, such stress does not affect the well-being and psyche of women in the most positive way. As a result, the work remains unfinished, fatigue takes on a chronic form, and constant dissatisfaction and irritation settles in the female soul.

The problem of how to distribute responsibilities in the family is no less worrying for those couples in which women do not work at all, but only do housework and raise small children. After all, in the house in which the baby lives, various chores tend to never end.

A small child means endless washing, ironing and cleaning. It’s almost impossible to stand at this conveyor all the time. Therefore, some of the housework should be done by the spouse, even though he spends almost the whole day at work.

Correct distribution of responsibilities is the key to a calm family environment and home comfort. We need to approach this issue very seriously, and solve it together.


In order to distribute household responsibilities, you first need to gather with the whole family for advice. It is not at all necessary to specially convene such a meeting; you can simply raise the issue during dinner.

Since the issue of distribution of affairs between all household members worries the mother of the family most of all, it is she who should organize its solution. The following tips from the site will help you do this easier and more correctly:

  1. It is necessary to make a list of all the tasks that any adult family member can handle without much difficulty. These include, for example, washing using a washing machine, drying clothes, walking the dog, washing dishes, taking out the garbage, cleaning floor carpets with a vacuum cleaner, and buying groceries in a store. These tasks can be assigned to children of high school age.
  2. It is worth emphasizing in this list those cases that most often cause disputes. As a rule, none of the family members wants to wash dishes, floors, or take out the trash. The question of how to distribute the household responsibilities that cause the most problems can be resolved using duty schedules. Then everyone will do the unpleasant work in turn.
  3. When preparing for a home meeting, a woman should also write a list of responsibilities that she will unconditionally undertake. These should be tasks that require certain skills and experience, for example, cooking, mending leaky things, checking children's homework on certain subjects, hand washing delicate items, caring for indoor plants, etc.

How to distribute responsibilities around the house if you have a small child

When a baby appears in a family, a woman devotes almost all her time to him. This makes it much more difficult, which a young mother sometimes cannot devote even a minute to. A married couple should be prepared for such an emergency situation even before the baby arrives.

The wife must explain to the young father that a lot of things will be entrusted to his shoulders during this difficult period.

The question of how to distribute responsibilities in the family in this case, it is correct to start considering the list of tasks that can be entrusted and entrusted to the new dad, taking into account the fact that he is at home only in the evenings and on weekends.

  • Any dad can easily cope with such a simple task as walking with a stroller in the fresh air. By taking on the task of walking with the baby every day in the evenings, dad will kill two birds with one stone: he will allow mom to calmly do something around the house and get some rest himself.
  • A man will provide quite tangible help to his wife, who is constantly busy with the baby, if he buys all the necessary products according to the list in the store.
  • A rather pleasant duty for a man in a family is to bathe a child. After one year, dad will be able to bathe babies without mom’s help.
  • If a man knows how to cook well, let him do it at least from time to time.
  • Some dads simply masterfully change their babies' clothes, put them to bed,... By performing all these pleasant duties every day, a man greatly helps his wife, who at this time can do ironing, cooking dinner or washing dishes.
  • Since the rights and responsibilities of all family members should be equal, a housewife mother from time to time needs to take a day off from all household chores. On such a day off, she can go to a meeting with friends, to a massage parlour, to a hairdresser, etc. While she is not at home, her husband will look after the baby.

Distribution of responsibilities in the family: fundamental points

In general, of course, how all household chores will be divided among household members is decided individually in each family. It is impossible to foresee all the nuances of relationships between family members. But still, some principles will remain unchanged in all cases.

  • To each according to his abilities. It doesn’t matter who will cook, who will pay the bills, and who will do the shopping. It is important that the one who is entrusted with these responsibilities copes better than others. There are some men who know how to find stores with quality goods and the best prices. So why not entrust them with the periodic purchase of products? And if this is the talent of the youngest child in the family, then it is he who should deal with green pets.
  • Equality for everyone. Household responsibilities need to be distributed among all its members. Even preschool children must do some work within their capabilities, for example, cleaning up their toys.
  • Mutual assistance. Of course, some of the duties assigned to the child can be performed by one of the parents, for example, in a situation where the student needs additional time to prepare for an important test. And vice versa, if the mother always picks up the youngest child from kindergarten, but one day at the end of the month she is unable to do this, either her husband or one of the older children can replace her.

Much depends on the correct distribution of responsibilities in the family, including the strength of relationships in it. Therefore, psychologists recommend that all those women who are trying to independently carry the burden of housework on their backs urgently throw off the unbearable burden and call on their loved ones for help.

After all, a family is created precisely for this purpose, so that its members help each other in everything.
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Author – Pelageja, website www.site – Beautiful and Successful

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DISCUSS THE SITUATION

Gather your family for a council and ask who would like to do what around the house. Answers “Nothing!”, “You can handle everything just fine” are not accepted. You did not join the ranks of desperate housewives who must work like a workhorse in two shifts (at work and at home), you also have the right to rest. For example, whoever comes home from work first cooks dinner (or starts doing it), the one who didn’t cook (breakfast, lunch, dinner) washes the dishes, the one who does it better irons the clothes, or each person irons their own clothes.

Both should also do house cleaning - someone wipes the dust, someone washes the floors, someone vacuums. If there are children, involve them. If one of the spouses is very tired at work, let them take on the responsibilities of light household chores - walk the dog, throw out the trash, pick up the child from kindergarten. You can make a list of responsibilities. You will be surprised, but what one person spends a whole day doing, two or three can do easily and quickly in a couple of hours.

To prevent household members from shirking their responsibilities, hang a work schedule in a visible place and mark on it who has already done what.

GENDER DISCREDITATION

Tell her a clear “NO!” And let the man hiss and give medieval arguments in the style of “But before, a woman plowed in the field, and gave birth to children there, and kept the house clean, and fed the cattle, and blah, blah, blah...”. And even earlier, he took a club, hit him on the head, dragged him by the hair into the cave and ordered the fire to be guarded. So let's go back to the primitive system?

If you don’t like it, tell the man “SHA.” You need to change a light bulb once a month, hang a shelf even less often, but you want to eat every day and more than once, you have to clean the apartment once a week (sometimes more often), and you also need to clean it every day. And you shouldn’t be guided by the opinions of the women around you - they can shoulder any household chores if they so want.

INVOLVED CHILDREN

Necessarily! From childhood it is easier to instill in a child a desire for cleanliness, responsibility and the need to help. Without doing this, the child will grow up to be lazy and will blink his eyes in bewilderment when you ask him to wash the dishes. And having moved away from you, she will wait for her mother to come and put things in order in the apartment. Even the smallest child is able to put away toys, clear dishes from the table, put dirty clothes in the laundry basket and make the bed.

Teenage children can easily go to the grocery store, throw out the trash, wash dishes, vacuum and completely clean their room.

Do not take away a broom or dish sponge from your child when he wants to help you - by doing this you will forever discourage him from helping around the house.

GRATITUDE

Each plan has adjustments - it is impossible to foresee everything. Sometimes you can give in. For example, if your husband or children forgot (did not have time) to wash the dishes, wash them yourself. But you shouldn’t turn this into a habit - you quickly get used to good things. Before you have time to take on any task again, your neck will again get bogged down in the routine of household chores. A little bit of good stuff. You can understand when the children were preparing for a difficult math test, and the husband came home from work tired and doomed. But when sabotage is created specifically - with the goal of driving you back into domestic slavery... Nooo, sorry. Everything needs to be done in moderation.

When someone else's responsibilities gradually fall on you, stop fulfilling them.

My daughter didn’t wash the dishes at lunch, and in the evening she will eat from a dirty plate. If he doesn’t want to, he’ll wash it and understand. My husband didn’t hang up his jeans and shirts after washing - he’ll go to work damp and wrinkled.

HOW TO DISTRIBUTE RESPONSIBILITIES AROUND THE HOUSE IF YOU HAVE A SMALL CHILD

This is where the fun begins. Fathers think that a woman does nothing while on maternity leave. He cools off, lives for his own pleasure, and relaxes. And the poor guy sits at work all day and works hard. Firstly, a person whose work is directly related to heavy physical labor (sleeper, loader, mechanic, welder, fireman, auto mechanic, etc.) can work hard, but sitting in an office and looking at a computer monitor is not hard work, but simply boring, monotonous and tedious. And when such an office worker comes home, he still says, “I’m tired at work.” No sir. What is he tired of - sitting on an armchair, telling jokes in the smoking room, drinking tea, sitting in, playing solitaire and occasionally doing his work?

Sitting on maternity leave does not mean “sitting”. You can play in it, feed, crawl, coax, lull, cry, cook, wash, stroke, carry a heavy child, but just not sit. But men don't understand this. It’s practically impossible to stand at the conveyor belt; you also need to rest. The spouse can also perform some of the household responsibilities, even though he spends almost the entire day at work. He won’t break down if, on his way home from work, he stops by for groceries and buys everything on the list? Throwing things in is also not a difficult task. Anyone can take out the trash while going to work. And taking a stroller for a walk in the evening while you calmly cook dinner or iron your shirts is a piece of cake. If a man knows how to cook, he can take on this responsibility at least on weekends.

Yes, some men begin to speculate with the phrase: “I support you and our child, and you sit at home and don’t earn money!”. Offer him a house, and you go to work (of course, if you earn about the same). Why not? The law even states that either spouse can take parental leave. What's the matter? Why should you refuse to see other people in favor of household chores? In addition, you were not hired as his housekeeper, and if you were hired, each work must be paid.

If a man utters such a phrase, issue him an invoice - for cleaning the apartment, for nanny services, for cooking and performing marital duties.

Why not? He may say that you are not working, maybe then he will understand.

A man is a breadwinner, fully providing for the family, and a woman is a housewife, on whom the comfort in the house and the satiety of everyone in the family depends. Just a few decades ago everything was exactly like this. Nowadays, a lot has changed: women work equally with men. There has been a redistribution of responsibilities, and the traditional way of life no longer fits into modern realities.

“Everyday life ate us up.” Isn't this phrase the main argument for divorce? But it seems that what’s difficult is deciding who will do what? For example, ironing, washing, cleaning, cooking fall on the wife’s shoulders, and the man does men’s things: screwing in light bulbs, nailing shelves. But, you must admit, no one will hammer nails every day, but cleaning and cooking are exactly what you can’t escape. A little unfair, isn't it? A woman comes home from work, and a whole heap of household chores falls on her shoulders, which she is able to redo only under the threat of a death sentence. Because of this, conflicts arise in the family. To prevent this, it is worth distributing all family responsibilities in advance.

First, all family members need to gather for a family council and decide who would like to do what. Maybe the husband loves to cook, and for him it is not only not difficult, but also gives great pleasure. But washing dishes, which is a common thing for you, he can’t stomach. By the way, don’t forget to compare all household chores by degree of difficulty. Otherwise, it will be unfair if you agree to wash dishes, cook and clean, and he becomes the main one in changing garbage bags.

If one of the household members is very tired at work, let him take on household chores that do not require much effort. For example, he will check the children’s homework or walk the dog. It is very important to take into account the employment, skills and preferences of each member of the household.

New family traditions

As a child, we, like a sponge, absorb everything that happens in the family. That is why in adult life We begin to project onto our family the traditions that our parents adhere to. For example, in your family, the father always got up with the children and got them ready for school. Therefore, it will be quite natural for you if your husband does the same. However, your family is not your parents' family. And don't forget about this. Now you have new family traditions. It is on this basis that conflicts and misunderstandings most often arise. In this case, the main thing is to recognize the problem in time and, just as important, to respond to it correctly.

Say no to gender slurs

Forget about the medieval division of labor. You should not divide all responsibilities into male and female. Who cares who cooks dinner as long as it's delicious? By the way, the best chefs are men. However, women, despite such a widespread opinion, can easily hammer a nail and screw in a light bulb. The times when a woman's place was in the kitchen are behind us. Do not be guided by the opinions of others, do what is convenient for you and your family.

Child labour

Involving children in household chores is not only right, but also necessary. Even Small child can collect toys and help parents with cleaning. Older children can take out the trash or go to the store. They are excellent housekeepers, so you can safely give them small tasks.

Spring cleaning is just what will bring your family together even more. That is why try to do everything together. Firstly, this way you can deal with dust faster, and secondly, joint work unites. Let the children sort out their things, put their toys in their places, wipe off the dust and water the flowers. What you do with your own hands is valued much more, so in the future they will always try to maintain order.

Minor adjustments

Any to-do list will certainly be subject to numerous changes. You shouldn’t always show your integrity. For example, if it turns out that your husband has an important meeting tomorrow, and his shirt, wash the shirt yourself. This does not mean at all that you are once again putting all the housework on your shoulders. This is just helping a loved one. Your husband will be grateful to you if you wash and iron his suit. Don't be afraid to give each other a helping hand.

There is safety in numbers

It is important that household responsibilities do not ultimately fall on the shoulders of just one person. If the person responsible for the dishes forgot to wash them, or simply didn’t have time, wash the dishes yourself. However, you shouldn’t take everything upon yourself: mutual assistance is important here, not shifting responsibilities. And if you began to notice that some family members have become too forgetful and washing the dishes has gradually become your responsibility, why not leave the dishes in the sink until dinner? Someone will definitely not get clean forks, and then they will immediately remember that they should have washed the dishes after dinner. And the washing machine will instantly unload if one morning it turns out that the jeans did not have time to dry because someone forgot to hang out the laundry. Avoid conflicts. Don’t make comments at home: they themselves understand perfectly well what their forgetfulness and inattentive attitude can lead to. Just talk to each other and make compromises.

Good word

Don't forget to praise each other for a delicious meal, washed dishes, or a clean room. This will be the best motivation for all family members. By correctly distributing household responsibilities, you will be surprised how much free time you have for relaxation, hobbies and communication with each other.

Family responsibilities were distributed by Polina Kuznetsova

Family responsibilities are a topic that is a source of conflict for most couples. Who should do the dishes and who should do the cleaning? Who should provide financially for the family, and who should babysit the children? How to correctly distribute responsibilities in the family and at the same time maintain family happiness?

This is exactly what we will tell you about today.

But still, we should not forget that each person still has his own concept of women’s and men’s work. Therefore, quite often misunderstandings, friction and even conflicts arise in the family regarding this issue.


How to properly distribute responsibilities between spouses?

Actually, it's not that difficult.

  • Cooking food– the most time-consuming and responsible duty. After all, you need to cook often, and it is desirable that the food be tasty. If both spouses know how to cook and love to do it, then it is best to distribute this responsibility equally. Unfortunately, this option is not suitable for everyone, since one of the spouses may work longer than the other. Then you can find another way out, for example, on weekdays the one who comes first cooks, and on weekends the other spouse does the cooking.
  • Cleaning- an important component of household duties. Let's immediately define what is meant by the word cleaning: wipe the dust, collect things, vacuum, wash the floor, take out the trash. It is best to distribute these responsibilities equally between spouses. For example, a husband can vacuum and take out the trash, and a wife can dust and do wet cleaning, or vice versa. If the family already has children, they should also be involved in housework. This way they will also get used to some responsibility. However, when distributing responsibilities, it is necessary to take into account the capabilities of each family member.
  • Washing dishes- also quite an important stage in family relationships. Everything here is quite simple, the dishes can be washed either in order of priority, or by adhering to the rule “When you eat, you wash the dishes after yourself.”

In a word, so that your family lives happily, household chores should be done together .


Probably every woman has thought about the fair distribution of household responsibilities... Who should cook in the family? And also clean and iron clothes?

One of my good friends complained about a guy. They have been dating for one year, they are thinking about marriage, about family, about living together... “But he is still sure that I should cook,” complains the girl who hates the stove, the kitchen, cooking, dreams of a career and freedom from household responsibilities.

What to do? How to negotiate with a man? Is it really true that all household responsibilities should lie heavily on the shoulders of a fragile woman?

Of course, there is no universal solution. It's different in every family. It is necessary to take into account the preferences of the spouses, as well as their employment... There are women who like to run the house. There are women for whom it is easier to earn money for food from a restaurant than to cook soup themselves. Someone works at home for several hours a day... And someone returns from work later than their husband.

If spouses work approximately equally, then it would be logical to divide household responsibilities in half. Personally, I don’t see anything difficult in this. And nothing supernatural. Just the question “who should cook in the family” is important to discuss with your partner even before the start of life together.

Some people believe that men constantly discriminate against women. That women are slaves, that society requires women to have daily three-course meals, a perfectly clean house, five children and, in addition, a good career.

I am sure that everything here is determined by our attitude towards ourselves. If it seems to us that women are humiliated, then we will constantly feel humiliated, we will attract the same humiliated women... And we will become convinced that the world is unfair. But you can take a completely different point of view. We build our lives as we see fit. No one can impose their principles on us. Choosing a spouse is voluntary. Of course, there are men who would never agree to go near the stove, but who forces us to marry them?

I have many married friends. I know women of very different professions, with very different characters. And no one, you see, none of them considers all household chores to be their responsibility! Who should cook in the family? Absolutely everyone my friends' husbands help in the kitchen. To varying degrees... Some people hardly need such help. Someone’s husband cooked for the entire first month after the birth of the baby. In some families, like ours, responsibilities are distributed approximately equally... Why am I saying this? Because most women don't believe in "cooking" men. After all, if you can’t get some help from your husband... It’s easier to say “all men are like that, everyone humiliates women, there is no justice in the world”!

But the problem is not with men. The problem is women. In women who are ready to take the position of servants. I'm not talking about those who cook and clean the house at their own request. I'm only talking about those who reluctantly perform all household duties and complains about such a life. These women initially agreed to be humiliated. After all, how can you force a person to do something against his will? How can a man (if he really is a man) refuse to help his wife, his loved one? How can a man who respects his wife calmly lounge in front of the TV while his wife (who also worked a full day) is running around the house, writing dinner? And if a husband doesn't respect his wife... How did this woman decide to marry him?!

Someone will say: initially there was both love and respect... But after a couple of years it evaporated. But wait! So, for the first few years, the couple did all the things together and didn’t argue about who should cook in the family? And then suddenly the husband abandoned his responsibilities? Most likely, the wife carried the household chores from the first days...And my husband got used to this situation... In any case, collaboration housework only strengthens the union. When both spouses contribute to the home, love and respect usually grow.

Therefore, you should not look for the problem outside... A woman who serves her husband around the clock and suffers from it is not a victim of a tyrant. The world is not to blame for her problems. Not the state, not relatives, not unhappy acquaintances... But she herself. And only she herself can change the situation. Love yourself, start respecting yourself... And decide who and how much should cook in the family...

Probably every woman has thought about the fair distribution of household responsibilities... Who should cook in the family? And also clean and iron clothes?

Is it really true that all household responsibilities should lie heavily on the shoulders of a fragile woman?

Of course, there is no universal solution. It's different in every family. It is necessary to take into account the preferences of the spouses, as well as their employment... There are women who like to run the house. There are women for whom it is easier to earn money for food from a restaurant than to cook soup themselves. Someone works at home for several hours a day... And someone returns from work later than their husband.

If spouses work approximately equally, then it would be logical to divide household responsibilities in half; there is nothing complicated about it. And nothing supernatural. It’s just that the question “who should cook in the family” is important to discuss with your partner before you start living together.

Some people believe that men constantly discriminate against women. That women are slaves, that society requires women to have daily three-course meals, a perfectly clean house, five children and, in addition, a good career.

Everything here determines our attitude towards ourselves. If it seems to us that women are humiliated, then we will constantly feel humiliated, we will attract the same humiliated women... And we will become convinced that the world is unfair. But you can take a completely different point of view. We build our lives as we see fit. No one can impose their principles on us. Choosing a spouse is voluntary. Of course, there are men who would never agree to go near a stove, but who forces women to marry them?

But the problem is not with men. The problem is women. In women who are ready to take the position of servants. We are not talking about those who cook and clean the house at their own request. We are talking only about those who reluctantly perform all household duties and complain about such a life. These women initially agreed to be humiliated. After all, how can you force a person to do something against his will? How can a man (if he really is a man) refuse to help his wife, his loved one? How can a man who respects his wife calmly lounge in front of the TV while his wife (who also worked a full day) is running around the house, writing dinner? And if a husband does not respect his wife... How did this woman decide to marry him?!

Someone will say: initially there was both love and respect... But after a couple of years it evaporated. But wait! So, for the first few years, the couple did all the things together and didn’t argue about who should cook in the family? And then suddenly the husband abandoned his responsibilities? Most likely, the wife carried the household chores on herself from the first days... And the husband got used to this situation... In any case, joint housework only strengthens the union. When both spouses contribute to the home, love and respect usually grow.

Therefore, you should not look for the problem outside... A woman who serves her husband around the clock and suffers from it is not a victim of a tyrant. The world is not to blame for her problems. Not the state, not relatives, not unhappy acquaintances... But she herself. And only she herself can change the situation. Love yourself, start respecting yourself... And decide who should cook and how much in the family...