When sending their baby to kindergarten, sometimes parents notice that the baby refuses to eat there. And, unfortunately, many believe that such behavior is just another whim, but this phenomenon is not without reason. A child who has just started attending kindergarten may have several good reasons for refusing to eat. Let's find out from this article what explains such a protest and what needs to be done to help children with such a problem.

A child refuses to eat in the garden - what are the reasons for this behavior?

The most important reason is that the child is experiencing severe stress due to a change in environment. In this case, there is no need to force the baby to eat. Only time will help change this situation. As practice shows, after a couple of weeks the baby will get used to the new team and will eat with the rest of the children with great eagerness. Other common reasons explaining why a child refuses to eat in kindergarten include:

• Poor nutrition. Often, the menu in kindergarten differs in many ways from that at home, and since most children are very conservative in food, they are simply afraid to try dishes that are unfamiliar to them.
• Breakfasts at home. Worried about the child, parents often try to feed him tightly in the morning. As a result, the baby does not have time to get hungry before breakfast starts in kindergarten.
• Attempts at manipulation. Children feel well that refusal to eat worries their parents and, taking advantage of this, force adults to pick them up early from kindergarten.
• Inability to eat with a spoon independently. This is one of the common reasons why a child does not eat in kindergarten. If he has not yet mastered this skill, and the teacher does not have time to pay attention to your baby during the feeding process, then most likely he will remain hungry.

But it also happens that children refuse to eat in the garden because they have formed their own associations with eating. For example, at home, during the meal, parents constantly educate the child (they reproach him for clumsiness, sloppiness, slowness, etc.), so the process of eating simply “burdens” him.

Refusal to eat after the end of the adaptation period

Sometimes it happens that the baby loses his appetite after the adaptation period has ended. In this case, try to minimize his anxiety. Try to understand that reluctance to eat is not always explained by a real problem. Just carefully observe the child’s behavior for some time, so you can identify and eliminate the reasons why the baby cannot feel safe and relax. Pay attention to the overall health of the baby; perhaps the child does not eat in kindergarten due to inflamed gums, a loose tooth, or nasal congestion. The cause may also be another, externally invisible problem. Therefore, it would not be superfluous to pay a visit to the therapist - for the purpose of prevention.

Another common reason may be a simple reluctance to eat, since the child simply eats very little, regardless of where exactly he is fed. Parents should not forget that the need for satiation is absolutely individual for everyone, and what may seem like whims to adults may be its own conventional norm for a baby.

The seasonality of this phenomenon should also not be ruled out. Even an adult may lose his appetite during the summer heat. In winter, poor appetite may be associated with a slowdown in metabolic processes in the body, when the need for energy obtained from food decreases. Also, energy expenditure plays a significant role in the fact that a child does not eat in kindergarten. Quite often, appetite is closely related to the baby’s activity. The more playful and active he is, the faster he will need to replenish his energy reserves, and for this, accordingly, he will need to eat more often and more.

The child does not eat in the garden - what to do?

If a child wants to eat in kindergarten, then, let us remind you once again, never scold him or force him to eat, so that the baby does not have to overcome prohibition and fear in the future. Gradually, when he gets used to the new environment, he will begin to eat himself. For your part, you can ask the teacher to seat your baby at the table with children who eat well and quickly. Maybe, looking at them, your child will also try to eat, because children try to imitate each other in everything. If your child starts eating something in the garden, be sure to praise him for it.

In addition, we strongly recommend that before visiting the kindergarten you take an interest in the menu that will be offered to children there. Try preparing similar dishes at home to accustom your child to them. Then the baby will get used to such a diet, and food will not cause him negativity and wariness.

Also, when asked what to do if a child does not eat in the garden, pediatricians answer:

• Teach your baby to eat with a spoon without adult help.
• On the way to kindergarten, do not feed your baby candy, apples, or cookies.
• Do not feed your child before going to kindergarten.
• Try to activate the spirit of competition in your child.
• Give your child time to get used to it, even if it takes a few months. However, if time has passed and the situation has not changed in any way, contact a psychologist.

Another important detail is that eating should be a pleasant procedure, but there is no need to go too far. You should not turn a meal into another “show”. For example, use various tricks with flying spoons and food, act out scenes in front of the baby, etc. Remember that in kindergarten the teacher will not have time to do this. If your child is accustomed to such a meal, then he will not want to eat in kindergarten.

Parents also need to teach their child to be grateful to those who tried to prepare this or that dish. Try to explain to your child that refusing food is the same as disrespecting the cook. You can ask your child to help you prepare a dish, and then be sure to praise him. In this case, good upbringing simply will not allow him to refuse the food offered in kindergarten. Don’t focus on the problem, don’t start “debriefing” on the way home. It’s better to ask your child casually about food, but nothing more. You should not pick up your child earlier than the scheduled time to feed him. If you follow these simple recommendations, then most likely your child will not have problems with nutrition.

This situation occurs all the time. It is clear that this causes concern and even anxiety among parents. Although, there is no need to worry too much. Firstly, a child’s refusal to eat in kindergarten usually does not cause any serious consequences for the child’s well-being. Secondly, such a “children’s rebellion” always has its own reasons, which parents need to have a clear and clear understanding of.

Psychological reasons why a child refuses to eat

Few children enjoy eating in the first days of their stay in kindergarten. First, he needs to get used to the new place and the unfamiliar people who surround him. In other words, adapt. Adaptation is one of the main reasons why a child refuses to eat. Parents should understand that a sudden change in environment is always stressful for the baby. The main causes of childhood stress in this case are as follows:

• Early rise. At home, the child could wake up when he had had enough sleep. At kindergarten he is forcibly woken up very early. It is clear that the child’s body and psyche must adapt to the new regime. Until this happens, the baby will be capricious and refuse to eat;
• There are many new toys in kindergarten that may be of interest to the baby. And until he “plays enough” with such toys, the child will most likely refuse to eat, believing that kindergarten breakfasts and lunches interfere with his play;
• Too many peers. At home, the baby mostly communicated only with his parents, brother or sister, grandparents, or two or three peers in the sandbox in the yard. In kindergarten, his social circle expanded significantly. Now he is surrounded by many peers. In the first days of his stay in kindergarten, the child will try to establish relationships with them and, as they say, find his place in the team. This is a complex psychological process that requires a lot of strength, and therefore the baby may refuse to eat;
• Usually, especially in the first days of being in kindergarten, it seems to the child that his mother has left and will never return. At the same time, no assurances that the mother will definitely pick him up in the evening have any effect on the baby. This is how the child's psyche works. It is clear that in this state the baby simply cannot eat properly;
• The child is used to listening only to his mother, and does not want to obey the teacher. For this reason, he may also refuse to eat in kindergarten;
• Being at home, the baby is used to being told a fairy tale, reading a book, or showing a cartoon before starting treatment. For obvious reasons, no one in kindergarten will do this especially for him. As a result, a child, without waiting for a fairy tale or favorite cartoon, may refuse to eat;
• By refusing to eat, the baby is thereby trying to manipulate his parents. He is well aware that refusing to eat will make his parents worry and worry, and they will try to pick him up as early as possible, or even not bring him to kindergarten at all. This manifestation is far from the only one in this situation. Other selfish manifestations may be children's tantrums every morning, attempts to run after the mother when she leaves the child in kindergarten, etc.

This is just the main and most general list of psychological reasons why a baby may refuse to eat. Since every child is an individual, each child may have individual reasons for refusal. Parents must notify educators about their child’s individual character traits. As for educators, accordingly, they are obliged to take into account this important parental information and try, as far as possible, to take it into account in the process of communicating with the child.

Other reasons why a child may be food insecure

In addition to psychological issues and nuances, children may remain hungry in kindergarten for other reasons. Here are just the most common of these reasons:

• The child is very picky about food and does not like kindergarten dishes. This also includes the fact that the child is simply afraid to try food that is unfamiliar to him. If the baby is 2-3 years old, then due to his age he has not yet developed any food preferences. In this case, after a few days he will get used to the new dishes. If a child first entered kindergarten at the age of 4-5, then it will take longer and harder for him to get used to unfamiliar food;
• By refusing to eat, the child thus expresses protest. Such a child’s “rebellion” usually happens in several cases: the child recently entered kindergarten, his teacher, to whom he had managed to get used, changed, he was transferred to another group, he was not allowed to play with his favorite toy, etc.;
• The baby turns away from food because he doesn’t feel well: he has a cold, a stomach ache, etc.;
• The child has a congenital allergy to certain foods. Parents must warn teachers about this before sending their child to kindergarten;
• The baby eats little due to his congenital characteristics, and therefore is not able to eat everything that is offered to him in kindergarten. This is especially true for children who are small in height and weight, as well as have a calm character;
• Being at home, the child got used to a different diet than in kindergarten. In other words, in kindergarten he doesn’t want to eat when it’s offered to him, and he wants to eat when it’s impossible. This also includes the fact that at home the baby is fed not according to a schedule, but when he asks or when it is more convenient for the parents;
• The child does not know how to feed himself with a spoon. Before enrolling a child in kindergarten, parents must also use other cutlery. If for some reason this was not done, then the baby will almost certainly go hungry in kindergarten. It may happen that the teacher, busy with other children, simply does not pay attention to the incompetent baby in order to feed him;
• The child is fed before being taken to kindergarten. It is clear that in this case the baby is unlikely to eat kindergarten dishes. In the same way, he will not eat when his parents fill his pockets with cookies and candies “for a snack”;
• The child does not eat well because the time of year affects him. It is known that children grow faster in summer than in winter, and therefore they eat with greater appetite in summer, since they need more energy for growth;
• The baby is overly susceptible to natural biorhythms. Exposure to natural biorhythms is a feature of many people, both adults and children. For this reason, some people (including children) may not feel hungry in the morning or evening, or at this time they may only eat certain foods, and not everything that is offered to them;
• The child may not be hungry due to his calm nature and, as a result, low physical activity;
• The process associated with eating causes unpleasant associations in the baby. This may be in cases where at home he is often scolded for not knowing how to behave at the table, eating poorly, dropping food on the table or floor, etc. In this case, in the garden the child will also implicitly expect strict comments and reproaches, and, accordingly, eat little;
• The baby may not eat well due to restlessness and curiosity. Fidgety children cannot sit at the table for a long time, they are often distracted, play pranks, as they say, and look into other people’s plates. Because of this, they often remain hungry not only themselves, but also prevent others from eating;
• It may also happen that the little one just doesn’t get enough of kindergarten food. The reasons for this may be different: low-calorie or poorly prepared food, small portions, etc.;

Again, it should be noted once again that these are not all the reasons why children may refuse to eat in kindergarten. A lot depends on the psychology, character and physical characteristics of each individual baby.

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What to do to get your baby to eat

Generally speaking, the answer to this question is obvious. To ensure that a child does not refuse to eat in kindergarten, it is necessary to identify and eliminate the reasons why he does not want (or cannot) eat. The reasons have already been said. Let's talk about how they can be eliminated:

• Before sending your child to kindergarten, you need to teach him how to independently use a spoon and other objects that are used at the table. A child who has learned to use cutlery feels much more confident psychologically, and therefore will be more willing to eat. ;
• It is necessary to try to ensure that the baby has approximately the same daily routine at home as in the garden. In other words, you need to feed and put your baby to bed at the same time as in kindergarten. Having adapted to the same regime, the child will acquire the habit of having breakfast, lunch and dinner at the same time, as a result of which he will be more willing to eat in kindergarten;
• You should add variety to your home children's menu, trying to keep some dishes similar to those your baby is fed in kindergarten. Having become accustomed to a variety of dishes, the child will no longer be afraid of unfamiliar food, and as a result will begin to eat not only at home;
• Every effort should be made to ensure that breakfasts, lunches, afternoon snacks and dinners evoke pleasant associations in the baby. In no case should you rush your child while eating and, especially, criticize him for awkwardness and inability. On the contrary, we should try to praise every child’s success. This will develop confidence in the child that he is doing everything right. It has long been known that a confident person eats much more and more willingly than an insecure, intimidated and complex person. However, in this case, it is necessary to observe moderation in the sense of not turning the eating process into an entertainment attraction, otherwise the child may take it for granted and in the future will not want to eat without entertainment;
• If the baby “rebels” (refuses to eat) in order to arouse pity from his parents so that they do not take him to kindergarten, then in this case convince him that kindergarten is his job (like mom and dad);
• Respect for other people's work is another way to convince your child that he definitely needs to eat. The baby should be explained that the aunt cook prepared the food just for him, and if he refuses to eat, he will thereby offend her. It is very useful to show your child from time to time how this or that dish is prepared;
• There is no need to feed your baby before sending him to kindergarten;
• When a child is in kindergarten, it is useful to sit him at the table with those children who do not refuse food. The baby will follow their example, and as a result will very soon learn to eat the same way as other children;
• You should not take your baby home early so that he has lunch or dinner at home. Let him get used to eating in a group, following the example of those peers who eat well;
• If a child does not want to eat in kindergarten, then there is no need to dwell on it and make a tragedy by scolding the child. It's better to pretend that nothing bad happened. Until the baby gets used to eating in kindergarten, it is useful to talk with him about what they were fed today and what food he liked;
• If the baby does not get enough of kindergarten food, then in this case it is necessary to feed him breakfast before taking him to kindergarten, and also feed him after kindergarten. You should also talk to the manager and cook about replacing some dishes with others. Currently, many kindergartens allow parents to bring home-made, extra food to the kindergarten;
• In the case of a child’s “rebellion” (refusal to eat), the child needs to pay as much attention as possible, ask him all sorts of questions about how things are going in the kindergarten, listen carefully to his answers, thus trying to determine why exactly the baby refuses food. If the situation seems serious to you, it would be wise to consult a child psychologist.
• If it turns out that the child, due to his psychological characteristics, will not be able to get used to the kindergarten environment, you should think about picking him up from the kindergarten and taking him back only after a year and a half. Either – ;

How to help your child adapt

In order for a baby to start eating normally in kindergarten, he needs to get used to his new environment. In other words, adapt. Of course, a lot depends on the baby himself, his psychology, state of health, etc. But, at the same time, there are many general rules, taking into account which parents will help their child go through the adaptation period faster and more painlessly.

1. Firstly: your baby needs to be prepared for kindergarten in advance. In this case, we are talking not so much about material preparation (buying new clothes, a stroller in which the baby will be taken to kindergarten, etc.), but about moral help for the baby. The child must be explained in advance that changes will soon occur in his life, that is, he will go to kindergarten. At the same time, the child must be convinced in every possible way that no one will leave him there for a long time and will definitely take him home, that there will be many interesting toys, new friends, etc. Having believed you, the child will be more willing to go to kindergarten and will get used to it much faster. a new environment for him and new people.
2. Secondly, the parents themselves also need to get used to the fact that their baby will be far away from them for some time. Parents also need to prepare for this in advance. In addition, parents, before sending their child to kindergarten, need to get to know the teachers, director, cook and other people who work in the kindergarten as closely as possible. And if it happens that parents don’t like one of these people for some reason, then it would be better to look for another kindergarten. Why this is so is understandable: the nervousness that mom and dad will experience every time they put their baby in the hands of people they don’t trust will certainly be passed on to the child, and then it will be much more difficult for him to adapt.
3. Thirdly, the adaptation itself. At first, the baby should be left in kindergarten not for the whole day, but only for a few hours. Then - an hour or two more. Then, depending on how the child feels, you can leave it for the whole day. There are no specific deadlines here: a lot depends on the baby himself. If conditions permit, then in the first days the mother can stay in kindergarten with the baby.

When sending a child to kindergarten, parents need to be patient. Under no circumstances should you put pressure on your baby or try to speed up the adaptation process. Typically, children, depending on their character traits, get used to kindergarten, starting from two to three weeks and ending with a month or two. It is very important that during the adaptation period there is a supportive and calm atmosphere at home. In this case, the baby, having gained new impressions during the day, will be able to rest peacefully at home, which will help him get used to the new environment for him.

If your child doesn't like kindergarten food

Cocoa with foam causes disgust, semolina porridge seems like glue, and just the smell of stewed cabbage provokes nausea. In this situation, not only other children, but also adults will understand the baby, because many people hate food from public catering. Try to accustom your child to this food - on weekends, when he is at home, prepare a menu close to the garden one, and this is:

• Milk porridges: oatmeal, buckwheat, millet.
• Soups: potato with cereal, milk with cereal or noodles, potato with meatballs, bean soup, borscht.
• Second: cutlets, stewed fish, roast, pilaf, solyanka.
• Garnish: stewed cabbage, mashed potatoes, vegetable caviar, pasta, cereals.

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The dining room is a public place, which is very different from the atmosphere at home. After all, in the canteen he receives “neutral” food prepared by people unknown to him. It has its own routine, which may not be easy for the child to get used to. It should also be taken into account that, as a rule, the menu in the garden is very different from the dishes that are offered to the child at home. Many mothers rarely cook, for example, fish cakes or cocoa. Perhaps all these dishes are new and unusual for the child, he feels confused when faced with unknown tastes and smells. Often several groups are brought to the dining room at the same time, and a large number of unfamiliar children and strange teachers plunges the child into embarrassment. The little ones are sometimes excited by the presence of the oldest ones. Problems with food are very often the reason why children do not want to go to kindergarten. And this leads to confusion for parents, because nutrition, in their opinion, is very important for the development of the child. Knowing that your child is protected, that he does not need anything, that he is fed, is the primary parental need. Any deviation gives rise to psychological discomfort and the desire to change something. But here the first thing parents can do is get rid of anxiety.

The child refuses to eat: looking for the reason

Try to understand that a child’s refusal to eat is not always a disaster, or rather, almost always not such a serious problem as parents imagine. Ask yourself: why doesn’t the baby eat – because he can’t or doesn’t want to? Does he eat at home or also refuse food? It happens that a baby demonstrates his readiness to eat with all his behavior: he willingly sits down at the table, but immediately after the process of eating food begins, he begins to be capricious, worry and refuse to eat. It is important to exclude the reasons why the child wants, but cannot, eat. The reason for this may be some kind of illness, such as a stuffy nose, a sick or loose tooth, a problem with the intestines, or an inflammatory process in the mouth. In this case, you should seek medical help.

Another problem may be a lack of appetite, which worries mom and dad, but is not associated with the baby’s illness. He simply does not want to eat or eats very little.

What does appetite depend on? Not only from our understanding of what it should be like in a healthy baby. First of all, you need to remember that the need for food for each person, including a child, is purely individual. Another factor influencing appetite is the intensity of growth, which depends on the genetic characteristics of a person. If mom and dad are short, the child will likely eat less than a groupmate whose parents might play on the local basketball team. There are also seasonal patterns: in winter, as a rule, babies grow more slowly than in summer, and accordingly, they do not eat as much. And, of course, it is worth taking into account the level of energy consumption of a small eater. The more energy a child spends, the better he eats. What to do with a child who, due to rain or frost, spent the entire day in a group playing on the rug, and in the evening lay on the sofa in front of the TV? If a healthy child refuses to eat, then the first thing to use is gymnastics, cool water, active games, long stays in the fresh air - these are great helpers in the fight against poor appetite.

Selective Appetite: A Solvable Problem

Perhaps your baby, even before attending kindergarten, was very selective in food and never had a great appetite. This means that the reason is in the inclinations and habits of the child, with these habits he went to kindergarten, and now this prevents him from feeling comfortable in an environment where he cannot ask for something else, but must eat what all the guys do. It should be noted that in the overwhelming majority of cases, the problem of selective appetite is far-fetched, is not based on medical problems and is clearly caused by pedagogical factors. There is usually only one piece of advice here. For example, if you decide that your child will eat soup for lunch, but he doesn’t want to, then the wisest decision is not to scold, but to peacefully let him work up an appetite. Because the only “medicine” that solves the problem of selective appetite in 100% of cases is the feeling of hunger. It is only important that after 2-3 hours the child is offered the same soup. Don't want to? So, I haven't had enough of it yet. The only difficulty for a loving parent is to endure such a procedure and not give in to the child’s perseverance. Very often, on the third attempt, mom or dad “breaks down” and puts on the table the sausages and pasta or French fries the child demands.

A special case of selective appetite is interception between meals. If it is easy to find sweets, cookies and chocolate in the house, then in the interval between lunch and dinner your child can easily provide himself with a sufficient supply of calories so that the need for food disappears. If lack of appetite is a real problem, everything should be done to prevent the baby from finding food on his own between feedings.

Feeding “at any cost” is a bad method

Ask yourself, did you enjoy going to kindergarten when you were little? No? And why? There can be many reasons, but most often the memory of a cold, tasteless casserole or porridge comes to mind. But even this could have been survived if not for the adults’ policy: finish everything! It happens that the only reason why a child cannot adapt to kindergarten is precisely what they force him to eat there. This problem can be solved easily and simply: if the baby doesn’t want to eat, let him not eat. Doctors' observations have shown that if you give the baby freedom of choice and do not force-feed, offering him a full range of products, then the child chooses a completely balanced menu for himself. Rely on your child. Usually a baby eats when he feels hungry and unconsciously chooses what his body needs.

Moms and dads need to learn to trust these self-regulatory processes. Try to develop a common opinion on this issue together with the teacher. Ask her how she feels about the uneaten food on her plate? It happens that kindergarten workers pay too much attention to ensuring that children eat everything. Moreover, they strive for this out of diligence, in order to please their parents, believing that a child’s good appetite is the main indicator of his well-being in kindergarten. In this case, you should ask the teacher not to force the baby to eat everything and give him the opportunity to choose for himself what he will eat - first, second, or both.

Children enjoy participating in table setting. Ask the teacher if it is possible to assign this to poor eaters, presenting it as an honorable duty.

In all other respects, parents will only have to make sure that at home in their refrigerators and cabinets there is a whole range of healthy food products containing vitamins and minerals. Firstly, the baby will eat at home everything that he did not get in the garden, and secondly, over time he will get used to new dishes and their taste differences from homemade food. He will get to know other children and cope with the anxiety that an unfamiliar environment instills, get comfortable and begin to eat with friends.

Children eat better when everyone is seated at the dinner table. You can invite other children (sisters, brothers, friends) to dinner. You can replace children with large toys to teach them to eat in a group, like in a garden. Show how to do this so as not to disturb your neighbor at the table.

Change your child's attitude towards food

Devote time to your baby in the morning by preparing a delicious breakfast together. In the evenings and on weekends, pay special attention to mealtimes, making your baby's favorite dishes.

Feed your child a variety of foods so that he gets used to eating everything. Find out with your child what children are fed in the kindergarten. Ask him what he liked, offer to cook the same dishes at home.

Teach your child to respect the work of those who tried, lovingly preparing this dish. To refuse food is to show disrespect; to eat even a little means to express gratitude. Involving your child in cooking will help this. Eating something that I cooked myself is much more interesting and tastier. Don't forget to thank your baby for the help he gives you in the kitchen.

Together with your child, get to know the cafeteria staff and, if possible, find out what mealtimes are like. If the child refuses to go to the cafeteria the next day, ask if he had a fight with his friends. Maybe he doesn't like the food? Food conditions? Is he being scolded? Are they forced to finish eating?

Try to reduce the calorie content of the food he eats, which after a while may lead to an improvement in appetite. At the same time, there is no need to indulge all the baby’s whims - it is better to offer him the opportunity to choose from balanced, healthy foods.

Asking your child what he wants for lunch or dinner is not a mistake; it is reasonable and even necessary. Food should be offered, not imposed (for children, nutrition is a factor that can easily become negative).

Talk to your child, don’t brush off his problems, find out what worries him. Offer your baby warm, soothing tea (with valerian, St. John's wort, chamomile, honey). After a conversation over a cup of tea, the baby's tension will be relieved, and the appetite will appear on its own.

And if the baby ignores lunch in kindergarten, do not panic: pretty soon he will decide to try what is offered to him. Pediatricians agree that over time, children begin to eat almost everything they are given in kindergarten, that is, balanced food. The rules of the kindergarten should be respected: they unobtrusively invite children to try different dishes. This must be supported in the family circle as well.

Useful tips for parents of a child with poor appetite:

• Avoid any violent actions on your part while eating.
• While eating, avoid any unpleasant experiences, especially anxiety.
• Create an environment during meals that makes eating feel like an enjoyable experience.
• Show understanding and great patience if your child is not eating well. Drawing, telling fairy tales, and changing the environment will help you cope with the psychological problems of poor appetite. Invite your child to draw a lunch with a family of bears or squirrels. You can come up with and play out a story about a puppy or kitten who didn’t like to eat. While playing, try to teach your child table manners, help him feel that eating can be enjoyable, and explain how important it is for a person to eat well.
• Play the game “Picky Baby at the Table” with your child, take on the role of such a child, and let the baby be the mother. At the same time, do not say: “I will be capricious at the table, just like you do.” The game should be funny, fun and playable many times.
• Try to break the standard eating pattern. Invite your child to sit in dad's place and eat like dad. At the same time, no matter how much the child has eaten, praise the baby and say that “this place is magical, and the one who sits on it always eats well.” You can repeat the famous game “Getting ready for space.” Let the child imagine that he is preparing for a flight into space and needs a special diet.

Analyze your behavior at the table

Poor appetite in a healthy child is often due to the psychological characteristics of the child and the principles of upbringing in the family.

Situations are very different, and Incorrect parental behavior can provoke a child’s negative attitude towards eating. For example, if the baby is slow, eats hesitantly, and picks at his food, this may irritate the mother. She hurries the child, pushes the next spoonful of food into his still full mouth, and the feeding process turns into torture for both. At some point, a child’s negative attitude towards food overwhelms him and becomes the immediate cause of food refusal.

It happens that a child refuses to eat if the eating situation is associated with negative emotions. This happens if a mother constantly raises a child at the table, unnecessarily restricts his freedom, demands excessive cleanliness from him, reproaches him for sloppiness, slowness, clumsiness, etc. Often the dinner table becomes a place for a showdown. It happens that the only time when a working mother or father can talk to their child is in the morning or evening hours - during breakfast or dinner.

Often, “conscious” parents use this time not to take an interest in the life of their child and his problems, but exclusively for edifying and educational conversations. At the same time, parents may criticize the child for the day’s mistakes and omissions at home and in the garden; at the time of eating, they irritably remind him of good manners or reprimand him for yesterday’s fight with Kolya. In such a situation, children simply refuse to eat due to conflict and depression.

How can a child sit down at the table with pleasure if he constantly associates eating with a feeling of shame and guilt, which is instilled in him every time? Add to this the traumatic situation associated with a new environment in the garden, eating in an unfamiliar environment and eating unusual food. So remember the golden rule: no negative emotions at the table!

Eating should be a pleasant procedure, but don’t go too far: the lunch meal should not turn into a “show” when the baby is entertained by squatting in front of him, using tricks with airplane spoons or unimaginable sculptures made of porridge. Remember: a kindergarten teacher will not pay so much attention to your child and come up with various tricks just to get him to eat. Also, don’t turn your home-cooked dinner into a restaurateur competition or a competition in delicacies. So you will do a disservice to your baby: a sophisticated gourmet is unlikely to condescend to unpretentious kindergarten food.

Hello Julia!

If a child does not want to eat not only in kindergarten but also at home, you should definitely consult a pediatrician. This may be a “symptomatic” harbinger of a certain disease

However, about eating in the garden:

1) If a child does not want to eat certain dishes, simply because he does not like them, you can tell the teacher IN FRONT OF THE CHILD that your child does not have to eat everything. You understand for yourself that feeding “under pressure” will definitely lead to psychological problems both today and in the future. And don’t worry that your child will go hungry! Better a little hunger that you satisfy at home than child abuse!

2) It would be advisable at times (just sometimes) to go to kindergarten early. Early - during lunch hours and see what the children eat and how they eat it. What exactly are these dishes? Cold (cold)? Slightly warm? What is the quality of the products? How often does your diet change?

Talk to other parents about this topic. Perhaps their children don’t want to eat either? Then you rightfully, as a whole parent meeting, have the right to demand high-quality dining service from the management!

3) You should also focus on the fact that you should not bring your own food to the garden (exception: allergies, medical diet). Kindergarten is a group education, so it will be difficult for teachers to explain to the other children what he can do, but we can’t. This situation is more likely to provoke envy, a sense of injustice, etc.

4) Consider whether something traumatic is happening to your child. This refers to some chronic stressful situations, trauma, deprivation, deprivation...

After all, an incident from the perspective of an adult may not have a traumatic effect on the soul of a child, but for a child such a trifle can be perceived very painfully.

Children, so to speak, intuitively sense the ongoing conflicts and discord between their parents. And this can also be reflected as symptomatic behavior in the form of “sabotaging” food in the garden.

5) At this point it should be noted that the preschool system in our regions is far from perfect! Therefore, we must come to terms with the fact that children are dictated from an early age when they should be hungry, when they should go to bed, when, when, when,... Without taking into account individual needs!

Therefore, in order to end this consultation on an optimistic note, let’s dream about what we should strive for! Perhaps the example of Montessori breakfasts and afternoon snacks will be a new, even if still distant, step forward in the development of the preschool system!

For reference: “According to the Montessori method, children are motivated to self-regulate from an early age. In the case of breakfasts and afternoon snacks, when children get hungry, they themselves recognize the feeling of hunger and eat food on their own in order to satisfy the feeling of hunger.”

Based on the above, children do not want to eat because they do not know how to “hear” their body and understand their needs. This can also happen when parents “stuff” food into the child and do not give him the opportunity to feel hunger.

I wish you to resolve your family difficulties in a normative manner! And, prosperity and love, may they become integral companions of you and your family!

Vitaly Bulyga - psychologist, family psychotherapist (Baranovichi, Republic of Belarus)

Petrova Tatyana
Consultation for teachers “How to teach a child to eat in kindergarten”

Consultation for teachers

"How teach a child to eat in kindergarten»

“I won’t, I don’t want, I don’t like it!”- children say through tears when it comes to eating in kindergarten. Too often, educators have to deal with the reluctance of children to eat dishes prepared by experienced professional chefs. And the reason for this is not the cooks at all. The reason, perhaps, should be sought in the family child.

Most often, the situation turns out to be banal simple - the fact is that homemade food is very different from the food that children are fed in kindergartens. It can be difficult for kids to switch from grandma's chicken breast chops to fish cutlets and a side dish of boiled carrots, and therefore they refuse to eat.

Some children are only kindergarten learn the taste of millet and oatmeal porridge, bean and pea soup. Such dishes simply are not prepared at home. Some children even develop a gag reflex to some dish. You can even compile statistics on what food children eat in garden, and which one remains untouched for almost everyone.

In this case, it is worth having a conversation with the parents if they are interested in child At least he ate something, they will listen.

Parents can be advised to include in the menu only those dishes that children eat in kindergarten, for in most cases home-cooked food is very different from kindergarten. If in due time child will eat borscht, casserole and jelly at home, then most likely he will There is it's a pleasure to kindergarten. The method of cooking is also important. IN children's food in gardens does not contain a large amount of seasonings, fats and various spices. Therefore, parents should prepare such food, especially since the abundance of herbs and spices does not have the best effect on the digestive system.

Eat a few more reasons why the child does not eat in kindergarten.

This may be a hidden protest against the teacher (whom you don’t like, against peers (With which child can't find a common language) and even against parents (which make you go child to kindergarten) . The reason may be simple stubbornness. The more you persuade child, the more opposite the result, if you just don’t pay attention, he himself starts There is.

One of the reasons may be imitation, when for some reason one of the children is allowed not to sit at the table.

Very often parents the child is told, to the child was not forced to eat, What child is understood as approval of his poor appetite.

It happens that the baby refuses There is due to the unappetizing appearance of the dish, for example, pea porridge, a stained tablecloth.

Examples of table setting and food decoration. (Presentation to consultations)

Under no circumstances should children focus their attention on their lack of appetite or talk about it in their presence. You should not beg, cajole or persuade There is. It is necessary to influence the emotions of children, using encouragement, suggestion, example of peers, and gaming techniques.

But in the desire of the teacher and parents to feed child it is very important not to cause harm to kid, do not cross the fine line when caring turns into violence.

Is it worth forcing there is a child?

Parents strive to feed to kid contents of the plate by any ways: from the soft “For mom, for dad, for grandma.” to the hard “Until you eat everything, you won’t leave the table.” And if the hated porridge and cutlet are still eaten, mom and dad believe that the goal has been achieved and everything is in order. And then.

The parents of six-year-old Andryusha came to consultation in complete confusion, - says child psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences Elena Anatolyevna Smirnova. - Their son recently ran away from home. He was quickly found and returned, but the boy snapped, cried and threatened to run away again.

The shocked parents could not understand anything. They swore and swore that they loved their child more than anything else in the world, they were kind to him and never laid a hand on him. But during a detailed conversation one thing came up problem: from an early age Andryusha had a poor appetite, and he was forced There is.

So family relationships turned out to be seriously damaged. Moreover, bitter experience means nothing taught these seemingly reasonable and prosperous parents. A few years later they came again consultation with your second child. Protesting against parental pressure, the seven-year-old girl completely stopped obeying and hid her school grades. All this also turned out to be the result of many years of “war at the table.”

Of course, not all children are capable of open protest. A quiet, obedient girl who was also constantly forced There is, did not run away from home herself, but all the characters in her games did. Then she invented a fairy-tale land where homeless children-toys found a new home and lived in it without any adults at all.

This girl was forced there is not only at home, but also in kindergarten and then at school. When their entire first class went to the cafeteria to have breakfast during the big break, the little girl began to chatter her teeth - out of fear of another “torture with food.” It seemed to those around her that the girl was simply frozen, and she was ashamed to tell anyone about what was really happening to her.

Doctors and psychologists already classify this condition as neurosis. Often, children who are force-fed exhibit other behavioral changes - they become overly stubborn, aggressive or whiny.

Alas! Even if obvious alarming symptoms are not noticeable, violence cannot pass without leaving a trace on the psyche child and his relationship with his parents. As I got older, child, most likely, will forgive mom and dad for their excessive zeal in matters of nutrition. But on a subconscious level, he will still remember that these people are capable of committing violence, regardless of his needs and feelings. And it will be very difficult to build truly close, trusting relationships in such a family.

There are also no health benefits from force feeding. Studies have shown that children who are force-fed subsequently suffer significantly more often from disorders of the gastrointestinal tract and thyroid gland, not to mention fears and neuroses.

In fact, the human body is a self-regulating system that can adapt well to a wide variety of conditions. One of these adaptive reactions is a decrease in appetite during illness, under severe stress, during a sudden change in environment, climate, etc. Force there is a child at such moments it means harming his health, preventing the body from adapting to a difficult situation.

In any case, educators in this matter must take an individual approach to each to kid, together with parents, identifying the cause of poor appetite, reluctance There is.

Examples of game options.

"The Queen of the Table and the King". The crown is put on to kid who ate the best.

"Table of Honor" This table should have a more elegant tablecloth and beautiful dishes.

Medal "For the cleanest plate"

A game "Restaurant"

Book reading. Child listens and forgets that he didn’t want porridge. It has been proven that watching cartoons baby eats more, eats what they give.

You can agree with your child about something simple. rule: “If you don’t want to There is“You eat as many spoons as you are.”