Once again the alleys are covered with fading foliage,
The crimson forest, in the rays of the sun, will burst into flames.
The song of the cranes screams, it burns the soul again,
Sadness is the sadness of parting, bright in it.
And the soul will rush between the past and the future,
In the past, youth and life without worries remained.
And in the future unknown, like blue smoke,
The unknown with fog, shrouding the world, awaits
The time for tears of rain - autumn has come,
The time of withered leaves, the time of ripe fruits.
The end of summer and the beginning of the first frosts,
Time, bitter smoke...
Why are you tearing my soul apart?
Why are you burning sadness, like stinging nettles?
Well, you don't give me peace,
Oh, leave me alone, don't torture me.
Don't try to despondency in me,
You instill in me disbelief.
Don't strive to become my middle name,
Peace of darkness, passing off as salvation.
I will not give you power over me,
Thoughts of sad sad darkness.
I won’t let her tear her soul apart,
And me...
The soul is great... The flesh is weak...
Wants to spin between them
Love straight and oblique
Top angle bisectors...
How the heavenly fan descended
At that hour the movement was made
And along the way I met persistence
From the breath of time...
Well... Hello moon queen!
The Tsar has been waiting for you in the mansions!
How did you come to him yesterday
So yesterday he was confused...
The soul is like a moth
It flies into the light, sometimes burning.
That light is not close, not far.
It contains the doors of happiness, the doors of heaven.
My soul longs for warmth,
Simple love and understanding.
Tired of struggle and evil...
The soul is a tender creature.
Why is she suffering so much?
Is there really no other way?..
Our world is cruel. And that's a fact;
And there is little holy fire in him.
Taras Timoshenko
19.12.2018
The soul wandered through the worlds,
I was looking for happiness and hope.
She wasn't the same as before
I no longer believed in dreams.
And lost among the worlds,
She was stuck between them.
Should you choose the path of sin or the sacred?
How to throw off the burden of your shackles?...
Who knows... Maybe now
She is still there, on the same paths.
And in the same thoughts and concerns.
Everything is at a crossroads. Looking for us.
The soul languishes incomprehensibly.
And the lines of rhymes float indistinctly.
It is difficult to catch them in a new verse.
The flow of feelings has almost died down.
Minutes in a gray succession,
Driven by the wave of life,
Floating into a foggy world for souls.
Again the mind dictates nonsense.
He feels free
Where the soul sees no ford.
Ornate script of words
Always ready to fill the moment.
And here's an exquisite veil
He covers distance after distance.
The bluebird is tearing its feathers
And interrupts the flight of the stars.
My love, how cruel you are! –
She took everything away...
What to do when resentment tears your soul apart?
Yes, do nothing. If it hurts, worry, cry, get angry, don’t pretend that everything is fine, that you feel good. Over time, it will become easier and you can try to do something to make it even easier - from going to a psychologist to going to church. As for revenge - on the one hand, this is bad, but on the other hand, even King David (the author of the psalms) in his psalms asks God to crush his offenders, so this question is complex. Try to calm down as soon as possible.
It’s best for you to isolate yourself from everyone, calm down and think, otherwise in the heat of the moment you can do something that you will later regret. Maybe it's your own fault that you got the role of the offended one. In this case, correct your mistakes that led to this. If you are innocent, then do not take revenge, forgive these people who offended you. But it’s logical to convey to them that they have offended you, this is definitely necessary, just without insults, but it’s also good to throw out a little emotions.
Resentment, especially when it is inflicted unfairly, is a difficult feeling; it really tears apart the heart. If there is such an opportunity and desire, try to express it to the offender. But my experience is that this can only make the situation worse. Not everyone admits that he offended in vain, apologizes and corrects the situation. Usually, sorting out relationships worsens them even more. You need to somehow distract yourself and calm down, put everything that hurts on paper - sometimes this helps. It’s also advisable to talk to God, if you believe.
The main thing is what NOT TO DO.
The offense will pass, sometimes we are wrong.
But to aggravate it with revenge and other nasty things, then why are we better than those who offended?
And remember that the body is nothing. Wealth is nothing. Everything in the world is nothing. Compared to the soul.
But if, like me, there are refugees under my care who say: God save you, I think these wishes are not deserved.
YOU did not describe what kind of offense, why. Of course, a person who is offended can start a conflict without restraining himself. I am generally a supporter of not swallowing an offense and aggravating the situation even more. Why spoil the heart. But in general, over time, I come to the conclusion that the person needs to respond. But it makes a big difference who they were offended by and why they were offended. If it’s a rival or rival, then they’ll throw you down the stairs or punch you in the face (sorry), but if it’s a teenager or even a child who doesn’t know what he’s doing, diplomacy is needed here. If this is the second half, then try to calm down at least a little and understand why this happened. Even put everything into pieces. You need to be able to analyze the situation so that it doesn’t happen again in the future. Or you can just put darkness under everyone’s eyes on impulse, and then apologize for the incontinence. The choice is yours.
Time heals everything. Over time, you will forget your name, and this whole life, and what about the offense. Another life will begin, with its own grievances.
Don’t step on the same rake twice, otherwise you’ll end up running around in circles like a hamster.
Receive teaching while you have the opportunity in this World.
You have not yet seen what deep-seated resentment can do.
The souls of some people still wander in this World with their deep resentment for their lives. And it's not a joke.
The joke is out of place here.
I feel the deepest COMPASSION, especially when you see a young lady in a white dress.
Olga, age: 28 / 09/01/2018
Alisa, age: 28 / 08/31/2018
Lana, age: 21 / 08/31/2018
Sasha, age: 40 / 08/31/2018
Sonya, age: 14 / 08/31/2018
Olesya, age: 14 / 08/30/2018
Vatori, age: 18/30.08.2018
Andrey, age: 23 / 08/30/2018
Kirill, age: 23 / 08/29/2018
Marina, age: 27 / 08/29/2018
Evgeny, age: 39 / 08/29/2018
Anya, age: 23 / 08/29/2018
Kirill, age: 18 / 08/29/2018
Ay, age: 14 / 08/29/2018
Hate, age: 19/29/08/2018
Alena, age: 16 / 08/29/2018
Sergey, age: 21 / 08/29/2018
Nastya, age: 16 / 08/28/2018
Yura, age: 27 / 08/28/2018
When I first read this work, tears began to flow like a river from the first line. In our country, this is a common problem when parents abuse alcohol and children suffer.
But children love their parents in any way, as long as they are nearby. And how some of them fight for their health and happiness, even at the cost of their own...
Be sure to read it!
The boy was bothering his mother in the kitchen.
“Mom, mommy, please, stop it!
The neighbors are making soup there again.
Nothing is cooked in our kitchen!I love you so much. Please wake up.
And look around... Mom!.. You’re not like that!
Day and night you just drink and sleep.
I'm so tired handing out leaflets.I paid for light and heating.
Now I miss school more and more often.
It will be my birthday tomorrow.
What to do? How should we live? Don't even know."He left the apartment and looked around.
Turning near the park, I suddenly heard a groan.
I stumbled before my feet
about someone's new, expensive iPhone.“What luck! I’ll sell it and there’ll be money.
You can buy plenty of food.
There will be cake and cookies for Birthday.”
And the phone in my hands began to ring.And it flashed: “Mom is calling.”
Something painfully stabbed in my chest.
“No...it’s not my plan to answer at all!
At least let someone call, don’t look.”But... looked: rejected: one hundred.
And ninety-six of them are from mom!
Why does she need such a phone? For what?
In the bushes, a lousy teenager drunk?I wanted to leave, but the phone came again...
“Go groan,” suddenly your conscience asked.
There's a girl covered in blood. There was a lump in my throat.
It was as if a crowd of “animals” had beaten him.And the phone in my hand rang again.
"Yes. I’m listening!” "Who's talking to me?"
“There’s a girl here. Someone beat her up.
All, all covered in blood, but moaning.” "My God!!!Where? Dictate the address, please!”
“Park... Where else is there a swimming pool at Ugolovoy.”
“Take her hand for me!
I will pray for you, dear!”The boy was sitting next to him on the grass.
And my stomach was growling from hunger.
“Be strong. The ambulance is already on the way.
And your mother promised me
Pray for me. What a mom!!!
Such mothers are not always found.
whose hearts are like through wounds,
They are torn in fear for their children.”Everything worked out fine. They made it and saved us.
Just a little more and she would be gone.
And the hungry day is over again.
And tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day all over again.The doorbell rang cut the silence.
Mother with dark circles on her eyes:
“Who brought it there? I can `t get it!"
“I’m coming to you. And to your son. All the best!"Lots of packages! Strewn onto the table:
sweets and cookies with marmalade.
“Your son!.. he saved my daughter, he found her.
He gave me back the meaning in life - my joy.There are only a few people like him today!
Thank you, I want to say for him:
If it weren't for him, there wouldn't be a sister
my son... and he’s five today!”And something stirred in my mother’s heart!
And tears poured out of my eyes.
She looked back at her son’s door:
“Son is 13! It’s our holiday!”And the woman pressed her to her chest.
“Don't drink anymore! I beg you very much!
We have such happiness in life!
With such and such children! There's no need to drink!Another would have sold his iPhone and run away.
But yours couldn’t. He did it differently.
He held my daughter's hand.
God bless you... All the best to your home!!”They're stealing! They are killing! They hit hard!
What a terrible, harsh age we have!
And yet... everyone is given a choice:
Who is he in life: a beast or a man!
Take care of your children!
My story began about a month ago, when I wrote ex-boyfriend. The relationship with him was very emotional, and parting was very difficult. He has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend. Well, we started communicating in social network, everything worked out right away, communication was very fun and relaxed. At first, it seemed as if I had found my wings again after a long, monotonous relationship with my current boyfriend (2.5 years). I started reading, running, dreaming, in general, the contrast was simply unreal)
Well, naturally, everything came to the point where we met (for the first time). I went to him without thoughts of betrayal, I just really liked the communication, but in the end (which is not surprising) he kissed me by force. At first I was very angry (priorities were always clearly set, and I considered betrayal to be the most vile meanness), but a second kiss followed with force, a third, and I began to respond to his kisses. My body was just on fire, my head was a mess, a feeling of nostalgia for a passionate relationship consumed me completely. Then we walked a little, and I went home with an unreal storm of emotions and terrible thoughts.
Soon after that, he confessed to me how good and easy it was for him, as if everything was left behind: all the quarrels, all this routine with his girlfriend, all the hassle, etc. I had about the same feelings. In the end, we agreed to meet for a walk again, but the second time it wasn’t just kisses. When it came to sex, everything, of course, was very, very cool, but the sensations after were not what I imagined. We moved away, lost interest, sat and were silent for a very long time, I didn’t want to say anything, and he didn’t want to either, we parted ways and didn’t write to each other anymore.
And then, TADADADAM!!! Now I feel just terrible person, my soul is being torn to shreds, I understand that my current boyfriend is everything to me. He does everything for me, helps me, loves me, worries about whether I’m dressed warmly, how my health is, how my family relationships are, how I feel mentally, and much, much more. Now I understand what a bitch I really turned out to be, I’m so used to being courted that I’ve gone completely crazy. I’m just confused, I don’t know where to go, I don’t know whether to get drunk or high, I don’t know how to forget about my action, how to get it out of my head. I don’t know how to find an excuse for myself, I’m simply being devoured from within by conscience and self-hatred. I hate, I hate myself! I hate it!
Conclusion for you, girls: TAKE CARE OF YOUR LOVED ONES, TAKE CARE OF THOSE WHO ARE NEAR YOU, WHO ARE WITH YOU CONSTANTLY, AND DON’T GO FOR THRILLS, BECAUSE THEY WILL PASS, THE PERSON WILL LEAVE, AND YOU WILL BE ALONE WITH YOURSELF AND WITH YOUR TERRIBLE CONCEPTS LYAMI. Nothing kills you like your thoughts. (With)
Question to a psychologist
Hello. I read here Maria Gorbunova’s answer to the question “is it tearing your soul from the inside?” I seem to have the same situation, only I know how to say “no” if I don’t like something, I do physical exercise, I work physically at work, I communicate with my girlfriend, with friends, co-workers, close people (relatives), everything seems to be fine, but it’s still as if “I’m breaking these chains that turn me inside out.” I swear mostly at work only for business reasons. Everything seems to be normal. Life is planned out for many years to come, I am moving towards my goals. Nobody imposes anything on me, I do everything myself. I don’t feel guilty before anyone, I did everything right in life. But I don’t understand where this feeling came from, I’m constantly like I’m on fire, I’m dissatisfied with something, and I don’t understand why, I have everything, I’ve done everything right; but everything inside is burning, as if I’m pulling a load or an unbearable burden, but I’m pulling it; the mood inside me is completely different than when I talk to people, but I don’t lose my temper with them, I usually talk with restraint, but that doesn’t mean that I need to throw out my emotions on them, maybe it will discharge. Maria gave advice there: you need to love yourself, so I love myself and others. So where do these chains come from that turn you inside out and tear your soul from the inside. If you say I don’t rest enough, I need to have more fun, it’s all there, that’s definitely not the point. Yes, I breathe calmly and make all decisions thoughtfully and not out of passion. Can you tell me what to do to make these feelings disappear?
Answers from psychologists
Hello, Vladimir.
Vladimir
I love myself and others
If you really loved, then this definitely wouldn’t happen to you. Love, perhaps, “correctly”, “as it should”, “as the books say”, “with my head” - I need to and I do it, but “not with my heart”. You play a “good boy” for yourself and for others, and you can’t always only be “good.” There cannot be a person without mistakes, failures, stress, and madness. And you seem to be afraid of this. So the soul aches, because... she is not allowed to live as she can, but only as “correctly”, “without flaw”. And correctness also makes you sick. It’s like walking along a straight road; you already know in advance that everything will only go straight. Or when everything is just good and joyful, then you begin to lose the value of it, because... there is simply nothing to compare it with. “Joy” and “goodness” are losing their novelty, losing their original meaning. Contact a psychologist for a consultation to find the origins of your condition and help yourself.
All the best.
Pabst Lyubov Veniaminovna, psychologist Dresden, consultations via Skype
Good answer 2 Bad answer 0Vladimir, hello! Do you know what catches your eye in your letter? The word "like". This happens when a person lives his life according to other people’s desires, other people’s standards... And his own thing asks to come out, “tears the soul.” Now I’m not talking about “what have you done or are doing wrong.” It's like that! You just want something completely different... And it seems that your desires have rebelled. And what they are, what you want, you can try to understand this, find out only in dialogue with you. No one will tell you a ready-made recipe, no one will guess what you really want. Or it won't be yours again. All the best to you, live your life. If you have any questions, please call. WITH.
Androsova Sofia Izmailovna, psychologist, Ufa
Good answer 2 Bad answer 0I'm tired of the soulless, noisy city.
The triple glazed windows are pressing on my chest.
I would like to go into nature with a tent,
But only a bath and internet.
In the transition, freezing, with tears in my eyes,
Grandfather tried to buy a flower, clutching a nickel in his fist.
The saleswoman insulted, humiliated, called names,
And then, for the broken patch, she gave me a flower.
And with a trembling hand the old man took the mimosa,
With a humiliated soul, he pressed that flower to his chest.
He wanted to please his sick wife with a flower,
On her holiday he turned up with only one piglet...
And from the rudeness and from the pain, a tear slid down my cheek,
We wanted a better life - they threw dust in our eyes.
One man from the crowd shamed the saleswoman,
He threw rubles at her feet and bought all the mimosas.
Handing out flowers in a basket, I bought a cake and champagne...
He said: “Go to your beloved... It’s a pity that I DIDN’T LOVE so much...”
OK it's all over Now, -
sighing, old lady,
I told my grandfather, “It’s obvious.”
term…
And he, confusedly, into the pillow,
whispered to her, “Wait,”
a little...
- Here's a wedding for my great-grandson
let's play
Then we’ll leave together...
It ended with a dog barking,
Something flashed behind
window.
- Tell me, you asked,
loving,
forgive her for everything
was,
and let not the sons-in-law be angry,
all daughters-in-law, tell me
loved...
And not shy about bitter tears,
He suddenly remembered
past,
Like in the evenings among the birches,
He ran to her in a strange village.
Like after, having sipped the bitterness,
Their shadow is youth
flashed.
How did he go to war?
And how the war without legs returned...
He looked into her eyes
There are no tears or sadness in them,
The blue has only faded a little
And the lips quietly whispered:
- And you, live... take care,
come to me like
date...
And it was clear how intertwined
Their hands are tender
farewell...
Fate gave them another chance...
Death is knocking, the door is not
opened.
Love hearing their story,
After trampling a little, she left.
Their handshakes are warm
They were then gently warmed.
Let it out of your eyes at that moment
flowed...
After all, alas, there are no tears in my soul
few.
And he will brew mint tea,
She loves it so much with honey...
The dogs barked again
In the shadow in the distance behind the garden.
He called his children
Having said that everyone needs
get ready.
Warms mothers so much
When everyone is swarming around...
What about disease?
She will pass.
Like a dream that crashed
morning...
When there is someone who is very
waiting
Your sigh and glance
instantly!!!
The wind blows from the south
And the moon rose
What are you whore?
Didn't come last night
You didn't come this morning
Didn't show up during the day
Thought we were jerking off?
No! We eat others...
When resentment tears your soul apart,
Do not retaliate against the offender.
Say that anger is a lack of happiness,
Say it and smile. No need for unnecessary words.
When there are only sidelong glances around,
And the laughter of slanderers hurts the ear,
Say: “I’m afraid you’ll choke on poison!”
Say it and go away. No need for unnecessary words.
When a loved one is seriously formidable,
And a quarrel brews over trifles,
Tell me how kind, nice, sensitive he is,
Don't quarrel - hug. No need for unnecessary words.
When you're cursed, betrayed and abandoned
And the memory of the past deprived me of dreams,
Say: "Thank you for shooting me in the back!"
But don't curse fate. No need for unnecessary words.
When you're overwhelmed with emotion
And the whole world is ready to embrace with love,
Know that loving is not an easy art!
Keep your love. No need for unnecessary words!
The girl was in a hurry to go on a date
In shoes on high heels,
And in the crowd I accidentally caught it
An old man walking towards him.
She turned around: “Grandfather, forgive me!”
He raised his tired eyes:
“Honey, where are you in such a hurry?”
"They're waiting for me, you can't be late."
"It's good when they're waiting for you somewhere,
And they greet you with joy on their faces,
And my love found shelter
Where I can take my time."
The girl looked at the bouquet,
And regret froze in the eyes...
He continued: “For seven years now
I wear daisies for her on her birthday.
She especially loved them
She wove it into her hair and into a wreath.
Even on the day we met, I remember it was
She's wearing a flowery dress.
We were married for many years,
But the magical ardor of love did not fade.
From the first meeting to the last date,
I've idolized her all my life."
He smiled, squeezed the bouquet tighter,
And he walked quietly to the bus stop...
And she looked after him,
It was like I was flying down without a safety net...
He's waiting there at a table in a cafe,
He’s angry because they’re only having an evening...
Tick marked in the column
Between training and an important meeting.
Yes, he didn’t hide it from the beginning,
Who is he and what car is he driving?
After meetings, I called her a taxi,
And she hoped that she loved...
Smiling, she hung up the call,
The number has been deleted into obscurity.
I knew everything he could answer,
She's just not interested anymore.
We need someone who will understand
And to love and to cherish the feeling.
We need a home where people will wait...
And a bouquet of daisies...from the heart.
Don’t lose people, even though there are many of them in the world,
After all, then those who are needed cannot be found in the crowd.
And any path in life is meaningless,
If you decide to go alone.
If melancholy is choking and there is no light in sight,
You don't believe that life consists of losses.
If they ask you to leave and it’s painfully offensive,
Don't slam the door when you leave.
In this world, not everything is as simple as we would like.
In life there is sometimes no more sun than ice,
You just need to know how not to lose this island,
Where a fire is always lit for you.
Life, like a candle, smokes, smokes...
It trembles a little and then goes out.
And the heavenly chariot
Will be given to a new soul.
The body is frail and useless
They will bury you under the whisper of the stars.
Maybe someone out of old friendship
A cross will be made for my churchyard.
And you will truly understand
Who are friends?
Do you see that shiny star?
It's me...
Why do people think they have the right to destroy other people's lives? Leaving, offending, not calling, throwing words to the wind... Are you, Gods, to decide who should suffer and who should live happily? If you already said “I love”, then be kind enough to love until your last breath. If you said “I promise,” then break into pieces, but keep your promise. If you said “I won’t let you go,” then do everything to stay. Otherwise, what is the point of living if every word you say is equal to zero and has no meaning?
© Ivan Okhlobystin
Good day to all!
How difficult it turns out to be to write such things...
My husband cheated on me. More precisely, he changed throughout the year...
Well, now let's get back to the point.
Acquaintance, the candy-bouquet period, a fairly long relationship before marriage, a wedding, the birth of a son... A couple of years ago our relationship began to crack, there was a very difficult period, some kind of dumb misunderstanding, reluctance to hear and understand the partner, problems + living together with my parents ... The end of all this is that we decided to live separately. The relationship has moved into some kind of absolutely abnormal status: it seems like it exists, but it seems like it doesn’t. And they dragged on like this for almost six months. The final denouement came last fall, when I filed for divorce. Divorced... The decision, it seemed to me, was deliberate, although it was extremely difficult. A year later, I understand that it was just a cry from the heart, a last attempt to prove something to him and myself, to provoke him to do something. This is so terribly childish and absolutely unreasonable. But... What's done is done... Next is probably the most interesting thing. I understand that our relationship with ex-husband are developing even more abnormally than before the divorce. We continued to communicate as if nothing had happened, as if we continued to be husband and wife (I’m talking about communication now, not intimate life). He regularly comes not only home, but also to work, we continue to call several times a day. There was one very significant moment: we quarreled, didn’t see each other for 3 days, didn’t talk on the phone. And then he calls and asks if he can come to my work. He's coming. I make him coffee and during the conversation we make peace. This was a must see! He excitedly told everything that happened during these 3-4 days. I sat opposite, listened and realized that I was terribly bored, that I also terribly missed conversations like this, and that he was the person to whom I wanted and want to tell everything that happened in the first place! I interrupt him mid-sentence with a question: “Is it just me or have you been terribly bored these days?” Minute pause... And his: "Yes…".
Then everything happened somehow by itself. The relationship again became more like a marriage in the full sense of the word. He again invites me to marry him. And everything would be fine, but this summer I accidentally find out that he has another woman. And she appeared even before our divorce.
I met her by chance.
You know, it is very difficult to convey in words your feelings at that moment. I felt like they had put a fur hat on my head. I stood, listened to her, the details of their relationship, that he promised to adopt her son, intimate details about MY HUSBAND, that he cheated on me before, about his habits, tastes, and only one thought was spinning in my head, that this is not with me, this is not about me, this could not happen to me, anyone but him, my dearest, closest. Lord, it’s so strange and scary to listen from the lips of a stranger to something that only I seemed to know. A two-hour conversation, and all two hours were in a fog. Afterwards, for the first time, I had a state close to hysteria, when within a minute I went from sobbing to laughing... For several days I was absolutely depressed, I could not eat, work, I rushed about like a tiger in a cage, I could not find a place for myself. I recently read somewhere that mental pain lasts 16 minutes, the rest is something we inflict on ourselves. Nonsense! I physically felt where my soul was! Mental pain was akin to physical pain! It felt like MY world collapsed in an instant, my whole family life, which I built brick by brick, turned out to be some kind of farce. There was only one desire - to run away, to forget everything. All I did was pray. I prayed every day, every hour. I did not ask God to return him or our relationship, I asked only for one thing, that this mental pain would pass as quickly as possible. I felt like I was going crazy, suffocating...
It seems to us that in relationships with our spouse everything is more or less predictable, under control, that our loved ones are a constant in our lives, that they will never betray or stab us in the back. And when these illusions collapse... It hurts unbearably...
Then, when the emotions subsided a little, I began to be afraid of only one thing - to forgive him.
I always said before that I would never forgive betrayal. Never give up! Never give yourself such attitudes. Life is so cunning, it will definitely hit you on the nose with your own vows
And you know, I forgave... I forgave very quickly... Probably a couple of weeks after these events we saw each other. A long and difficult conversation took place. It ended with the fact that we decided to TRY to step over all this and start with a clean slate. Three weeks of quiet life and she appears again. As it turned out, their relationship still continued. Take 2... For about 5 minutes she frantically rummages in her bag in search of her phone, where there should be SMS messages proving that my husband is so-and-so and is cheating on me again. In general, her husband told her quite sharply that he did not want to continue the relationship, that he wanted me and our family back. To be honest, at the time I thought that was all. But... It wasn’t like that... I won’t go into details further, but similar situations were repeated several more times. Yes, yes, no matter what the rake teaches, the heart believes in miracles.
Her calls, offers to meet and “share a man”, stories about what wonderful sex they had today, etc. The husband reassured her, saying that she was taking revenge, that it was all a lie, a provocation. I don't know what's true and what's not. I admit that both the husband and she can lie.
A month ago, calls and texts to my husband stopped. A couple of days later I found a phone in his car with another SIM card, and there... Calls, calls, calls... Incoming, outgoing... And all to one number...
That's when something clicked in my head and fell into place. I decided that was it. This is the limit.
The only thing I needed then was a time out, not to see or hear him. I blacklisted his number, I never intended to limit communication with my child, I just asked my mother to let all this go through her.
He called through my friend and asked to see me and explain everything. Had arrived. He swore that he needed the other number for only one purpose - to protect me from these calls, that he would do everything to regain my trust. Probably for the first time in a long time, I said no. He came again the next day. He said that he couldn’t imagine his life without me, that everything fell out of his hands if we had a quarrel or hadn’t seen each other for several days, that it was all over a long time ago. And you know, I listened to him and understood that right now he was speaking sincerely.
Today I know that there are common things that still connect them. The husband swears that this is purely a business relationship on his part. But on her part, it’s really not, and I’m sure of that.
Have you forgiven me? Maybe yes. Forgiveness is easier than many people think. It’s much more difficult to start trusting again... And is it even possible? I know that he loves us and wants to be with us, and I continue to love him, but constant doubts and suspicions poison our lives. One hope is that time heals and everything will be put in its place...
The essence of this post is not about the difficult female lot, but about the lessons that I personally learned from everything that happened. I analyzed for a very long time and a lot why everything turned out the way it did. And, probably, only now have I begun to truly cherish and appreciate our relationship.
Our very first and biggest mistake was living together with my parents. This is despite the fact that they are extremely tolerant and have never interfered in our lives.
The second very significant mistake is the desire to live separately and understand something for yourself. Problems need to be solved, talked about, looked for a way out, and not run away from them. The last point is rather a consequence of my personal mistakes. I realized another very important thing for myself: I got married by building sand castles in my head, I didn’t marry a specific person, I married an IMAGE that I came up with myself. Living together very quickly dispelled most of the illusions.
This is where, it seems to me, the hardest part begins. How so? I thought you were this and that, but you’re not like that at all! no, you just have to be the way I imagined you :-)
Then another equally important misconception takes its place: I can change it. He loves me, which means he MUST! No! He simply must change! Change your views, your behavior and habits. After all, I don’t wish him harm, my demands are justified and will only benefit him and our relationship.
Dear girls, you CANNOT change another person! No one can do this! Accept your significant other for who they are! With all the advantages and disadvantages. You probably have them too;-) Learn to love him EXACTLY THAT WAY.
If you understand and accept this, believe me, you will be able to avoid many insults and disappointments in your partner.
Another important misconception is that the one who is next to us is forever, that he will not go anywhere. It is not true.
Don’t put him out on the street with your suitcases, don’t throw offensive words at him, don’t throw your phones, don’t be offended if he forgot about an important date, bought something at the store or was late with friends at the bar.
Close your eyes and imagine for a moment that he is no longer in your life. It doesn't matter where he is. He died, left for someone else, or simply moved thousands of kilometers away, he’s simply no longer around... Do you feel sad? If yes, then take care of what you have...
Relationships, trust, love, mutual understanding, friendship, respect - all this is so fragile! It can be broken in seconds, but repaired is very difficult, and sometimes completely impossible.
...Do you know what pain is?
When the soul is torn apart,
When a scream rose up in my chest
And everything won’t break free?
Do you know what it is... to love?
Losing myself in his eyes,
Cursing his smile
And idolize him.
Do you know how to love it?
Then die of indifference,
Then resurrect from warm words,
Keep hope... again and again,
Blame yourself for this weakness
And look between the lines for answers.
This is what it feels like... To love! (With)
