Techniques that you may have unknowingly tried more than once on people or, perhaps, with the help of them you are being manipulated...

These techniques, as psychologists have proven, really work. Many people want to understand and even manipulate people, but this is not given to everyone. In this matter, the main thing is to feel the person. Few people know how to influence people, and even fewer people consciously use it.

Today we will talk about those techniques that you may have unknowingly tried on people more than once or, perhaps, with the help of them you are being manipulated...

Psychological techniques that work

The Kindness Response or the Benjamin Franklin Effect.

The story goes that Benjamin Franklin once wanted to win over a man who didn't love him. This man was looking for a rare book that Franklin had. Benjamin found out about this and lent him this rare book, and when it returned to the owner, Benjamin simply thanked him. As a result of this, they became best friends. As Franklin said: “He to whom you have once done good is ready to return you with good much greater than yours...”

Ask for more than you want to receive.

This technique is very simple and akin to bargaining on the market. The trick almost always works. You are obliged to increase your demands if a person needs you. At first you will most likely get rejected. Don't resist, but give it time. In 95% of cases, the person interested in you will respond again and offer a little less than you requested, but at the same time guaranteed to be higher than you initially expected.

An imposed desire to help.

The technique is very similar to the previous one, only here the effect is slightly different. In order to awaken in a person an independent desire to help you, ask him once for something that he definitely will not agree to. By receiving a refusal, you have created for yourself a person who considers himself obligated to you. Most likely, he will turn to you more than once on his own with a desire to help, because inside he will have a feeling of guilt.

A person's name is like a magical sound.

Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, believes that using someone's name during a conversation is an incredibly powerful argument. A person's name is the most pleasant sound for him. By saying his name in a positive context, you grow significantly in his eyes.

Flatter.

At first glance, the tactic is obvious, but there are some caveats. If your flattery doesn't seem sincere, it will do more harm than good. Researchers have found that people tend to seek cognitive balance by trying to keep their thoughts and feelings aligned.

So if you flatter people with high self-esteem and the flattery sounds sincere, they will like you because you will validate their own thoughts. But flattery towards people with low self-esteem can lead to negative feelings because your words contradict their opinion of themselves. Of course, this does not mean that such people should be humiliated - you definitely won’t win their sympathy that way.

Reflect.

Reflection is also known as mimicry. Many people use this method naturally, without even thinking about what they are doing: they automatically copy other people's behavior, manner of speech and even gestures. But this technique can be used completely consciously.

People tend to treat better those who are similar to them. An equally curious fact is that if during a recent conversation someone “reflected” a person’s behavior, then for some time this person will be more pleasant to communicate with other people, even if they had nothing to do with that conversation. The reason is most likely the same as in the case of calling by name - the behavior of the interlocutor confirms the very fact of the existence of the person.

Ask from the tired.

When someone is tired, they are more receptive to all requests. The reason for this is that a tired person becomes tired not only physically, but also mentally. If the boss is tired, then he will easily allow you to finish it tomorrow, but you must finish it without fail and with high quality. This will give you a little respect in the eyes of your boss. After all, you kept your word.

Start asking for small things.

It's simple, ask for a little at the beginning, and they will give you credit. According to this principle, people become dependent on social movements. For example, at first you are asked to support an action against deforestation, you support it, then again and again. It’s a small thing, but you are already ready to give more. Are you ready to support an action against deforestation in distant Tanzania or join the Green Party and make contributions.

Don't correct people when they are wrong.

Carnegie also wrote in his famous book that you should not poke your nose at a person’s obvious mistake immediately after you have found it.

If you want to change a person’s point of view, then approach this carefully. Even if you are a loser who blames anyone but himself for his troubles, you should not shout in your face. Agree with him in the moment and gradually change his point of view. Otherwise, you risk becoming enemy number 1.

Repeat phrases and expressions of the right people.

This principle is similar to the “chameleon” principle, when a person, with facial expressions and gestures, repeats the person with whom he is interested in communicating. Words can be soothing to the ear if they sound like an echo. It is necessary to pronounce what a person has already said, what he heard inside his head.

Nod.

When people nod while listening to something, it usually means they agree with the speaker. And it is natural for a person to assume that when someone nods when talking to him, this also means agreement. This is the same effect of mimicry. So nod throughout the conversation with the person - later this will help you convince the interlocutor that you are right.

Know how to listen.

Telling someone that they are wrong is not the best way to win someone over. The effect will most likely be the opposite. There is another way to express disagreement without making an enemy. For example, listen to what your interlocutor says and try to understand how he feels and why. Then you will find something in common in your seemingly opposing opinions and can use this to explain your position. Express your agreement first - this way the person will be more attentive to your subsequent words. published

If you have any questions, ask them

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness, we are changing the world together! © econet

PHOTO Getty Images

1. Think big

2. Set goals

Any difficult task may initially seem unattainable when viewed as a whole. The key to success is dividing it into several small steps - short-term goals. Completing several small tasks leads to solving a medium, intermediate goal, and adding up the latter is the end of your journey, the completion of the main goal and success. Setting a task for yourself is quite simple if you follow a few rules. The goal should be achievable, but quite difficult. It's important to make sure it's outside your comfort zone. Don't set the bar too low. Also, make sure the goal is measurable so you can track your progress. And the most important thing is to celebrate your success. Every time you achieve a new goal, find a way to please yourself with something.

3. Turn your head on

Many of the tasks we have to solve involve physical exertion and physical overcoming - losing weight, running a marathon, getting ready for the beach season. But it is the brain, not our body, that is the key to achieving success. Rarely are our physical abilities an obstacle; more often, we are hampered by a loss of faith, willpower and interest, which leads to failure. Believing that you can achieve your goal is the most important thing. With faith comes passion and the desire to invest time, effort, and resources to continue achieving short-term goals. And their achievement increases motivation, which, in turn, strengthens faith in the achievement of the main goal.

4. Consider all factors

Achieving success is rarely associated with working on one, decisive factor. The road to the goal requires synchronous changes in a number of things. For example, to improve physical fitness, it is not enough to do squats many times. It is necessary to think over a healthy eating system, train your endurance, strengthen all muscle groups, improve sleep, and so on. When drawing up a plan, it is necessary to take into account not only those factors that contribute to success, but also all possible risks of negative influence. For example, if your goal is to quit smoking, then the risk may come from friends who do not share your enthusiasm and constantly offer you cigarettes. The more detailed your plan, the higher your chance of success. If you fail the planning, you will most likely fail the whole project.

5. Sign the contract

For a person who does not have much faith in himself and is not very motivated, it can be useful to simply agree with himself to complete some task. This approach may seem a little strange to you, but the more formal your agreement with yourself, the higher the chances that you will treat it more responsibly. A formal agreement provides the necessary motivation to persist and maintain the necessary amount of work until success is achieved. Ask someone close to you to witness this contract, so you will treat it with greater responsibility. Signing a contract will increase both the importance of the deal and the prestige of your well-deserved victory. Here is an example of a personal commitment that you could reword to suit your own purpose:

“I, the undersigned, hereby promise that I will not drink alcohol on weekdays and will limit my consumption to 12 units of alcohol on weekends.

Witness signature: »

Greg Whyte, fitness and physical education expert, former athlete, World Modern Pentathlon silver medalist, OBE, Professor at the University of St. John Moores (Liverpool, UK) and author of Achieve The Impossible (Bantam Press, 2015). His website is gregwhyte.com.

Life is a series of achievements and disappointments. It is impossible to achieve success without making mistakes and experiencing failures. You won’t be able to get to the top without hard work on yourself. Dreams require enormous dedication and iron willpower. There are no people for whom everything came too easily and without effort. Only by taking responsibility for everything that happens in your life will you be able to easily adjust your path and understand how to fulfill your cherished dreams, no matter how impossible they may seem.

You can fulfill your plans only if you clearly understand what you really want. You cannot overcome barriers, break an established way of life, try to break out of the comfort zone created by this point in time, without choosing from the mass of what you like, the most important thing, what can bring joy for many years. All efforts will be wasted if you do not listen to your heart and realize your deepest desires.

Spend a few hours alone with yourself, allow yourself to relax, don’t rush or run. Let your thoughts flow slowly and disappear when they are of no interest. Think only about what will allow you to know yourself better. After several such attempts at self-analysis, you will be surprised to notice how all the alluvial husks disappear. You stop liking what everyone likes; you are absolutely not interested in what your parents, colleagues or girlfriends admire.

And it turns out that either your dreams are what you really need, or what until this moment aroused interest is actually a tribute to fashion or a subconscious desire to please your parents. Depending on what conclusion you come to, you can continue the path further or, having adjusted your desires, begin to look for ways to fulfill them.

It’s hard to decide, then try for several months to do what interests you now. If after 4 months you still have the desire, then this is what you need. In the same case, when your hobby stops bringing you joy, try something else, and gradually you will find your calling.

A plan drawn up for 3 years ahead will also help you determine your priority goals. Imagine what you want to have in 3 years: where to live, who to work with, what kind of personal relationships to have, what to do every day, how to look and in what circles to communicate. Consider all the options and choose the best one. This will allow you to figure out what is needed for this and where it is better to start implementing it today.

Don't rush to get everything at once. When you try to embrace several desires at the same time, you risk quickly getting tired, burnt out, and even disappointed. The path to a dream consists of small steps that allow you to withstand the headwind of problems. Everyone will have their own, but there are always those that always interfere with success.

Never look for reasons why your dream cannot come true. The biggest danger is not the objective difficulties and obstacles that arise immediately as soon as a person begins to change his life, but the low probability that the first step will be taken at all, although it is the most important.

It is precisely before implementing a plan that many hesitate to begin it, succumbing to fear. They find many excuses to delay its execution. Nobody wants to be disappointed in themselves. We have been taught that only winners are worthy of respect, which is why the fear of defeat is so strong that over time the majority comes to the conclusion “No good is sought from goodness” and “It is better to be first in the province than second in the capital.” Forgetting that it’s not about winning or respecting others, but about a person doing what pleases him. Only by doing what you love can you realize yourself and bring great benefit to both yourself and society. Everything else leads to collapse and disappointment.

So, put all doubts aside, you are not fighting with others, but with your fears. And anyone can do this. Moreover, the winner is not the one who got what he wanted, but the one who is able to rise after a fall. When you remember this, many events look completely different.

Despite everything, neither internal uncertainty, nor fatigue, nor objective reasons, take a small step towards your dream, and you will feel the desire to move on, because you were able to do it, and as the famous aphorism says, “The first step is This is half the journey.”

Photo: How to achieve the desired result

Top 9 ways to achieve the desired result

• Don't rush to choose a path. Decide what you like, not your parents, relatives, friends or others. You cannot succeed in your chosen field if you are completely uninterested in what you have to do. When a person does not have a passion for finance, he will never become a banker, he will only waste his time studying and trying to make a career.

• Cultivate iron willpower. You can't do without it. It will allow you to discard all interference, eliminate difficulties and doubts, both external and internal, give you energy and force you not to give up when it gets hard. Thanks to it, you will be able to clearly realize that you are on the right course and are ready for anything that does not get in your way. It will fill you with life-giving energy and self-confidence. Confidence bordering on self-confidence should become the main character traits, otherwise you will be tormented by doubts, both your own and those around you.
• Eliminate from your circle those who do not believe in your success. Of course, many try to warn about possible problems, but this should happen only when they are asked about it. Besides, criticism and useful suggestions on how to protect yourself are completely different things. When they tell you that nothing will work out for you or they try to prick you during a difficult period, feel free to fight back and don’t waste any more time communicating with such people. Envious people, cowards, pessimists and ill-mannered people are not worthy of your time. They are only trying to hinder you so that you cannot succeed and show them how weak and cowardly they are.

• When criticism comes from your parents or partner, talk to them and explain how important this is to you and how you need their support. You can’t come to an agreement, they don’t want to hear you, citing completely unnecessary examples of defeats, keep communication to a minimum until you achieve success. Then your parents will be forced to admit that you were right. In the same case, when your partner refuses to help and constantly escalates the situation, you should think about whether this is the man you dreamed of. And is it necessary to ruin your life for him?
• Having dealt with self-doubt and external interference, begin to draw up a detailed plan. Describe everything that is needed to achieve what you want. Consider possible difficulties and ways to overcome them. Think through the most negative scenario for the development of the event, what it threatens and a way out of it. Then it will become much easier for you to take risks, because people are most afraid of the unknown, and when they know what can happen and how it can harm, it is much easier to move forward. Having experienced this collapse mentally, there is nothing more to fear.

• Constantly analyze all incoming information, no matter where it comes from. Look for the best way to accomplish your plans. Break a complex task into several stages to save time and taste victory as quickly as possible. Our brain doesn’t care at all how significant what we do is. The main thing is that it happened.
• Try not only to read the literature necessary to implement your plans, but also to apply the acquired knowledge in practice. There is nothing more useful than experience.
• Study how those you admire achieved success; you can take something from their lives into your arsenal. And during a difficult period, their difficult path will remind them that they should never despair.
• Draw strength from within yourself. Success lies in ourselves, and not in how circumstances turn out. He who seeks finds. Life itself helps those who don’t give up to achieve what they want.

Photo: How to achieve the desired result

Don’t be afraid to deviate from the plan you once developed, even if you’ve come a long way. The strength of a person lies in his ability to admit mistakes and correct them, and not in the mindless attempt to go the wrong way, trying to please everyone around him. You live for yourself, and not for society, remember this, and then you won’t need to spend too much time figuring out how to achieve what you want.

Effective visualization for every sane person
On the list of one of the best motivational films that can change your life for the better is the film “The Secret,” released in 2006. He quickly became popular. And it’s not surprising: the film’s authors promise to reveal a secret that has been kept for millennia from “mere mortals.” Those who comprehended it became successful and almost omnipotent. Having heard such promises from the creators of the film, few people will not watch it: everyone wants their deepest desires to be fulfilled.

So what do we learn from this film? At the very beginning, the authors already share the main knowledge about the law of attraction. They claim that this law is the very secret that not many people know. “What we think about is what we attract,” they say.

According to the authors and participants of this film, thoughts create things. Therefore, if you just imagine that you are living in abundance, then with the help of the law of attraction you will receive all the benefits that you have been thinking about all the time. At the same time, you need to think about positive, positive things. If you have negativity and tension in your thoughts, you will attract troubles. Since the Universe doesn’t care whether you wish for yourself good or bad, it simply materializes your thoughts.

Film participants share their stories about how they learned the secret and managed to change their lives for the better, make your dreams come true and become rich, successful and happy. After listening to them, I want to believe that the power of thought is actually capable of working miracles. However, skeptics and so-called realists believe that this secret revealed by the authors is not the key to a successful future. People are trying to expose the filmmakers in lies by posting various materials about them. But, nevertheless, there are those who already confirm that after watching the film and changing their way of thinking, their lives have changed, they have become happy, successful and rich. Therefore, it’s still worth trying to take the advice of the film’s authors. What if it helps?

So the film says whatever thoughts dominate, that's what happens. People are like magnets, attracting everything around them. Therefore, you should not think about the bad. Hearing such advice, many get scared: it turns out that when they begin to analyze and listen to their thoughts, they come to the conclusion that they have a lot of negative thoughts in their heads. But the authors reassure us by saying that positive thoughts are hundreds of times stronger than negative ones. You just need to learn to think about the good. And gradually life will begin to change.

Every Human- creator of your life, they say in the film. And he creates it with his thoughts. Therefore, what you complain about, you brought to yourself.

Of course, it is difficult to constantly control your thoughts. Because a huge number of thoughts rush through the mind. And they are all divided into 2 types: good and bad. The authors claim that you just need to change negative emotions to positive ones, and your whole life will change. The universe will hear your thoughts. That is, he eats thinking and feeling, people create their lives.

Thoughts can be changed. And by changing your consciousness, you change your Universe.

The filmmakers tell the audience that our lives can be incredible, they should be if the knowledge they shared is applied. After all, the number of wishes is not limited. The Universe, like a Genie, fulfills wishes. You just need to take a step - ask for what you want with the help of your thoughts and images. The authors advise writing on a piece of paper everything you want to receive. And the Universe will do everything for you.

It is very important to set yourself up to what do you want to receive. You should feel a sense of anticipation as you think about what you want. It is important to be in harmony with what you want. You must imagine that you already have what you want.

There is no need to doubt, put off, you need to act, say the participants in the film “The Secret”. You can attract what you want. At the same time, the speed of fulfillment of a desire depends on how in harmony you are with the Universe.

Who a person is at a given moment depends on his past thoughts, the film argues. Don't think about the past, about who you are now. Be grateful for what you have. The authors advise writing on a piece of paper what you are grateful for. At the same time, gratitude must be carried through your heart. The state of gratitude is a very important feeling.

According to the filmmakers, it plays an important role in getting closer to the goal. You need to be able to imagine the end result. At the same time, there must be faith in success. Believe that anything is possible. You need to trust the Universe. And working on your thoughts and images should not become a routine. It should bring sincere joy. Really enjoy the process.

How to create a positive atmosphere in your home

Almost everyone wants and craves to have a welcoming and positive atmosphere in their home. It’s one thing to want, but it’s another thing to take responsibility for it and take certain steps in this direction. Perhaps the whole secret is to start doing something, and not just passively wait for what you want.

Just a few practical tips will help everyone create a pleasant atmosphere and improve relationships in their home:

• Take care of your physical health. By taking care of the physical condition of not only yourself, but also each member of your family, you can feel more proactive and happy. Getting enough sleep, eating well, and doing basic exercise will naturally produce more strength and energy to do things around the house. On the contrary, lack of sleep, poor nutrition and a sedentary lifestyle will contribute to inactivity and apathy. In such a state, any desire to do anything disappears.
• Positive attitude. One of the most important points in creating a favorable atmosphere in the home is the ability to think positively. To a greater extent, this applies to mental activity. It is important to analyze your thoughts hourly and every minute and learn to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Consider any current situation from the positive side and do not allow negative thoughts to creep into your consciousness.
• Create cleanliness and comfort in the house. When everything around you is clean, tidy and has a pleasant smell, it will undoubtedly affect your mood and make you feel cheerful.

Home should be a place not only of relaxation and rest, but also a place where a person receives a charge of energy and motivation to achieve his goals.

Set yourself high goals. For example, earn one hundred thousand dollars a year. Visualize the goal. Draw $100K and your dream lifestyle. And ideas will certainly come to you with the help of which you can achieve your goal. And when ideas come, you need to believe in them and act.

Think about prosperity, tell yourself that money comes often and easily. Many people think that this is not true, that money does not come easy. But this attitude towards money can change.

Life should be abundant on all sides. Happiness is everything together. The totality of all benefits. Not just money. Therefore, first of all, you need to strive for harmony and joy. Draw yourself a happy life. Learn to love yourself. So until you are in harmony with yourself, until you love yourself and are happy, others will feel bad with you. Ask yourself: “Am I treating myself the way I want to be treated?” Solve your problems, fill yourself until you are full, so that you can give to others.

Love yourself, and the world around you will love you! Love yourself and you will love others!

Learn to focus on the positive qualities of loved ones. Write down these qualities. When you are satisfied with yourself, you will not want to change others and remake the world for yourself.

The authors of the film also argue that our body is a product of our thoughts. The mind plays an important role in healing. And all diseases arise due to internal imbalance, overexertion and stress. Illness is a signal that our body gives us. One of the participants in the film shares how she managed to recover from cancer. She watched comedies, laughed, did not let stress into her life, did not think about the disease, as if it did not exist, and after 3 months the doctors were surprised by the result. There was no more cancer. But nevertheless, both the authors of the film and many sensible people still advise turning to doctors to recover from serious illnesses.

Nature provides for self-healing of the body, the film says. The disease cannot exist in a body imbued with positive emotions. You need to imagine your body as absolutely healthy. After all, you become what you think about. And by resisting negativity, you increase it. If you are against war, be for peace. You need to focus on what you want.

There is enough in the world for everyone. Besides, everyone wants different things. Choose what you need, let it in, make it your reality. If you don't like something, ignore it. Think only about the positive and desirable.

Everything in the Universe is energy, they say in the film. People are not limited to the physical body. People are an energy field, a field of potential. Everything is possible! Live and create life. All the possibilities are in your head!

"Self-fulfilling" wishes
How do successful people think?

Turn dreams into goals!

Today, I would like to raise such a popular and at the same time “annoying” topic - “Don’t dream, but set goals!”
How many times have I had to listen to the instructions of teachers and parents that dreaming is, of course, not harmful. But dreams may never come true, and if you want a decent life, set goals and achieve them.
How many articles, books, opinions I have read about how to set goals correctly! Yes, yes, there is even a technology for writing your goal correctly. And that’s when I understand “GOD!” You see, today the world literally forces us to do EVERYTHING according to the rules! People, let's stop listening to the thoughts of smart people and dream when we want. And if necessary, then set yourself the “right” goals and achieve them?!

Why are there always a lot of obstacles on the way to your goal? What prevents us from achieving our plans? Does visualization help in fulfilling desires? How to become successful and learn to achieve your goals? We discussed these issues with Anna Khnykina, head of the psychological center “SoDeistvie”.

Our main problem is the lack of interest in the process of achieving: While concentrating on the goal, people often forget about the process. The assessment system of school education that is familiar to us focuses the student on assessment, that is, on the result, and not on the process. When we want to achieve something and think about the ultimate goal, we can drive ourselves into a frenzy, due to the fact that the goal is there, and I am here. You need to concentrate on the process of achievement.

A long goal needs to be broken down into shorter goals.. This makes it easier because when a big goal is made up of small ones, it means “I know how.” When there is only the final goal in your head, it means “I want.” But when I know how to get there, it's completely different. When you pose the question this way, a different mood automatically awakens in you. When you see how to reach your goal, you decide: “I will do this, this and this - and I will get there!” And then energy appears.

When the goal is very difficult and a person has been working on it most of his life, which means it was a goal for the sake of the goal, and not for the sake of the process. In this case, disappointment sets in. For example, a visiting person set a goal: to get housing in the capital. For 20 years he has been working exhaustingly for someone somewhere in the name of a great goal, and when he finally achieves it, he feels how it has exhausted him and realizes that he has neither the strength nor the ideas for the next one - a moment of devastation sets in . Therefore, you need to find pleasure in what you do. It's like in sports. There is a training process and there is a competitive process. Both are work. The training process is about developing skills.

The competitive process is a test work: whether we worked, and whether it was enough. We go into a fight and look at how we worked on the performance, what we now need to hone further. If an athlete’s goal is only to win, then a loss will greatly destroy him; it will be difficult for him to continue training again and find motivation. Or, in this case, winning can be blinding and a person may feel that there is nothing else needed, nothing more to strive for. The real result will only come when a person enjoys the process. It is very important.

A person must pay attention to his feelings, he must listen to himself, to what is happening inside. Is your inner part happy with what is happening, is it alive? Or maybe she's sleeping? Here you need to somehow turn the process around, you need to work on your inner personality, and not on your outer one, then you will be satisfied, you will better understand what you want for yourself. Roughly speaking, external goals work on other people’s perception of you, they create your image, but at the same time you do not live, you work to be perceived well.

The desire to present something outwardly and thus impress people- this is personal immaturity, this should be a signal that something wrong is happening. It is very painful at the age of 35-40 to understand that you are, in general, still a teenager, that you lived like a teenager, and your life is filled with nothing but vanity, except rags. You have no loved ones, you don’t like yourself, you’re not interested in anything. You need to develop your inner personality, it gives you an interest in life, not in things.

Visualization is a great technique for achieving your plans., it is associated with imaginative thinking, with which it works wonderfully. The main task here is to receive an emotion when you visualize, that is, visualize until you really, really like it. And twist and spin this image in front of you, i.e. as if you have already experienced it. Then the brain receives information as if it already exists, then the effect of attraction begins to work, you seem to attract the necessary events and people into your life.

If you haven't been able to buy a car for five years, be careful that this visualization doesn't hurt you. because if it's "a thing I just can't get" then it's better not to visualize it. The visualization should make you feel like you have it and that you really enjoy it. You should feel that you already have this and how good it makes you. What is important here is the feeling with which all this happens. It needs to be achieved - the feeling of owning this thing and the joy of this possession.