Ecology of consciousness. Psychology: Probably the first thing a person learns from childhood is the ability to make friends. And it’s really happiness when you have real friends. But it also happens that under the guise of friendship, other forms of relationships are hidden, which often bring us the pain of disappointment. Therefore, it is important to learn the ability to distinguish friendship in the mosaic of forms of relationships between people.

"Friend". "Make friends". "Friendship". "Friendliness"...

Concepts that are familiar to us all, but can we give them a clear definition?

Probably the first thing a person learns from childhood is the ability to make friends.. And it’s really happiness when you have real friends. But it also happens that under the guise of friendship, other forms of relationships are hidden, which often bring us the pain of disappointment.

Therefore, it is important to learn the ability to distinguish friendship in the mosaic of forms of relationships between people. In addition, understanding what friendship is will help us be a good friend ourselves, make reliable friends and maintain strong friendships.

Friendship is a feeling

Let's start with the existing definitions of friendship.

Friendship- this is “close relationships based on mutual trust, affection, common interests” (Ozhegov’s Explanatory Dictionary).

Friendship- this is a deep connection between people, which presupposes “not only fidelity and mutual assistance, but also inner closeness, frankness, ... love” (Encyclopedia “Around the World”).

In the Bible, the concept of friendship is conveyed by the Greek noun “philia” and the verb “phileo”, which is translated as “to cherish” (someone). This word implies "warmth, intimacy and affection." “Philia is warm, friendly love based on mutual respect. A feeling that spontaneously arises in our heart.”

According to James Strong, the verb phileo means “to be a friend (to love), that is, to express affection (meaning a personal commitment in which feelings predominate)” (The Watchtower, 10/15/93 issues, p. 12 , 17, 18 and from 1.10.96, p. 9).

So what happens?

First of all, friendship is a feeling.

Secondly, it arises spontaneously. You cannot be friends at the behest of the mind.

Thirdly, friendship is based on equality, honesty and respect.

The main functions of friendship are protection and support.

A friend is another me who can complement me in a situation where I can’t cope alone, in trouble, in grief, etc. At the same time, my friend is next to me and in joy. Friendship doubles joys and cuts sorrows in half (c)

Very often you can observe when two people are “friends” against someone, or against everyone. This type of friendship is acceptable, but, probably, it is one of the most primitive types of friendship, when two people are united only by the desire to defeat the third and makes people dependent on each other. Children or immature adults often make friends this way.

But we still don’t want to admit it to ourselves, even if we feel that something wrong is happening. We find justification for certain actions, we console ourselves that “no one is without sin,” we are afraid of offending a person, and we tolerate it while our so-called friend uses us. At the same time, we ourselves are the consumer in this situation. After all, loneliness is so scary and you really want to be friends, well, even if a friend is like that, there is the very concept of friendship, or rather the illusion of friendship.

Not everyone has the opportunity to be friends, but everyone has access to such a concept as “friendliness.””, which can be manifested in relation to all people in your reality. And probably friendliness is the highest aerobatics in the ability to be friends.

Friendliness- benevolence, affability, friendliness, sociability.

Synonym dictionary:

it is the ability to see and respect the personality in another person.

it is a willingness to trust others and fate.

This is the ability to live in harmony with people of different views and beliefs.

This is the desire and ability to find mutual understanding with others.

it is openness to all manifestations of life.

This is the smile of a person of life and the answering smile of life to a person.

This is both a person’s character trait and his manner of behavior.

The Benefits of Being Friendly

Friendliness gives:

openness – to building relationships.

provides interest in people and the world around them.

freedom - from insults and claims to others.

brings joy from communicating with people.

Friendliness is one of the most worthy human character traits; friendliness counters all negative emotions.

Let's consider the extremes of manifestation of "friendship"

One pole - hostility- complete lack of friendliness.

Another misalignment - pole- obsession– excess friendliness in the absence of initial self-respect -this is when a person creates the form of a positive friend and initially imposes himself on you as a friend, and can just as easily and quickly become an enemy, that is, he rushes from one extreme to another.

Friendliness is the golden mean, a position full of wisdom.

A friend is another me, just like me. Like attracts like. And if I want to see next to me someone who is honest, respects himself and others, knows how to keep his word, is able to support a person in difficult times and share with him the joy of achievement, then, first of all, it is worth developing these qualities in myself.

Learn, first of all, to be friends with yourself, to be friendly, then you will see a lot of friendly people around you from whom you can choose friends! published

1. You consider those your best friends (girlfriends)…

a) with whom I have an excellent relationship

b) someone you can always rely on in a difficult situation

c) who knows how to achieve a lot in life.

2. Honestly, you'd really like it if your best friends...

a) were cool and interesting personalities

b) helped you when you ask for it

c) never betrayed you in difficult times.

3. If you were asked to choose one of the books to read in the evenings, it would be a book...

a) how to make friends and maintain good relationships in life

b) about interesting people and their adventures

c) detective or science fiction.

4. During recess, classmates begin to argue and it seems that they are about to quarrel. How will you handle this?

a) I’ll try to calm them down...

b) I’ll step aside - it’s not my problem!

c) I’ll figure out who is right and who is wrong – and express my opinion.

5. Would you agree with the statement that most people would be happier if they trusted each other more?

a) I think so

b) I'm not sure

c) in my opinion, this is not where happiness lies.

6. Do you think you have qualities that you are proud of, but which your friends never appreciated?

a) I doubt it

b) such a thought never occurred to me...

c) I am sure that there is.

7. You know that a friend is having trouble and he/she will most likely call and ask you for help. You…

a) I won’t wait and call myself

b) I’ll sympathize on the phone

c) I’ll ask my parents to tell me that I’m not at home.

Add together the points that apply to you. The sum of points will show you the result.

0-20 points . You probably wouldn’t be able to really answer why you need friends at all. In essence, you are fine without them... You can do whatever you want, again - no obligations to the person you are friends with...

Think about it: are you never lonely deep down? Still, it is difficult to live alone in the world.

21-33 points . You are a person with whom it is interesting and pleasant to communicate. Many people dream of having you among their best friends. In addition, you have a wonderful quality - reliability: you will never let you down in difficult times. In a word, you really know how to make friends, and your close people can simply be envied.

34-48 points . For you, friendship is everything or almost everything. You get tormented (and you get tormented others) when you have to go a long time without seeing someone you consider a friend. For the sake of this person, you are ready to even push your interests aside, but at the same time you demand the same in return. This is probably an idealistic view of friendship. Try to come down from heaven to earth!

Class hour “Can you be friends?”

He who does not look for friends is his own enemy!

Sh.Rustaveli.

Target:

to form among schoolchildren the concepts of “friendship”, “true friend”, “friendly relationships”; introduce the rules of friendship, show the importance of true friends in a person’s life.

Tasks:

Teach children to see, understand, evaluate the feelings and actions of others, motivate, explain their judgments.

Formation of moral qualities of students: the ability to make friends, cherish friendship, communicate in a team.

To cultivate friendly relationships of goodwill, respect for each other, the need for self-expression, the ability to value friendship, the desire to understand each other, teach to share joys and sorrows.

Progress of the lesson.

1. Organizational moment.

Emotional mood.

I would like to start our lesson with a relaxation exercise. Please turn to each other. Close your palms and close your eyes, listen to your body.

(After 20 seconds)

Open your eyes, open your hands.

How did you feel?

(Children’s answers: warmth.)

Touching each other, you felt the warmth of a comrade. I want this warmth to remain throughout our entire lesson.

2. Updating knowledge and posing a problem situation. Introduction to the topic.

The topic of our lesson is “Do you know how to be friends?”, and what is real friendship? How does it manifest itself? Who does a person have the right to call a friend? There are no clear answers to these questions. But everyone should think about these questions.

To continue the conversation, I suggest watching a short video.

(VIDEO CLIP)

Guys, what do you think this video is about? What problem do the authors of the story raise?

(Children's answers)

Vladimir Ivanovich Dal in his “Explanatory Dictionary” gives this definition of friendship.

(“Friendship is…. Unselfish lasting affection”)

The famous writer puts selflessness in the first place. You are friends with a person not so that he will do something good to you, not because it is beneficial. You are friends with a person because he is close to you in everything. But not everyone can do this, not everyone succeeds. Some people just don't know how to make friends.

Indeed, such a problem exists, it is also relevant for children your age, at least this is evidenced by the results of the research that we conducted at our school.

• What should a true friend do?
• Can we be friends?

Today we will try to answer these questions with you.

Guys, what should a real friend be like? Have your say. Continue the sentences.

A true friend is always...

A true friend will never...

(Children's answers)

But sometimes you can hear the following phrase: “I have a lot of friends.” So

Is this for real? Is there any confusion here in such concepts as acquaintance, friend, comrade, friend? To answer this question, I ask you to complete the following task. Correlate the concepts in the table, determine the meanings of the given synonyms.

Match the concepts:

Slide captions:

Can you make friends?

Video

" Friendship -…. disinterested persistent affection "Vladimir Ivanovich Dal "Explanatory Dictionary"

Have your say. Continue the sentences. -A true friend is always... -A true friend is never...

Relate the concepts: A person with whom we simply say hello on the street, in the yard... comrade A person with whom you trust your secrets, with whom you share joys and sorrows... an acquaintance A person (classmate), with whom a pound of salt has been eaten in 8 years... a friend A person with with whom we discuss certain events from time to time... friend

Qualities of a friend

What does it mean to be friends?

What is important for friendship? Let each other copy tests and homework. Protect each other from offenders. Treat each other with sweets. Be able to tell each other the truth, even if it is not very pleasant. Be able to give in to each other. Visit each other often. To help each other. Don't quarrel with each other over trifles. Sincerely rejoice at each other's successes.

Your friend gets bad grades for the quarter and you are forbidden to be friends with him. Your friend suggests that you do something bad. Your friend did something, and you were punished...

Evaluation of test results If you score 6 – 9 points, your friends can say that you are a true friend and can be relied on in any situation. You are a caring, sensitive and attentive comrade. If you have 10 – 14 points, then you should take a little closer look at yourself, since in a difficult situation there is a chance that you will find yourself alone. If you have 15 – 18 points, then everything depends only on you if you want to change. It is worth learning to forgive and not forget that you need to treat others as you would like them to treat you.

Laws of true friendship 1. Do not violate the rights of your friend. 2. If a friend is wrong, explain to him his mistakes. 3. Don't gloat if a friend is in trouble. 4. Teach a friend what you can do yourself. Learn what A FRIEND can do. 5. Rejoice with your friend in his successes.

c) you say that you are busy (3)

5. During a quarrel you...

Test "Are you a good friend"

1.When addressing guys, you mainly use...

a) last name (2)

b) nickname (3)

c) name (1)

2. If one of the children was unfairly accused by an adult, you...

a) you are silent (2)

b) stand up (1)

C) you rejoice at someone else’s misfortune (3)

3. If you wanted to go for a walk, and a friend asked you to help him, you...

a) are you going for a walk (2)

b) helping a friend (1)

c) you say that you are busy (3)

4. If your friend is in a bad mood, you...

a) don’t pay attention to him (3)

b) try to console him (1)

c) you want to take revenge on his offender (2)

5. During a quarrel you...

a) try to speak to the point (1)

b) calling names and offending your interlocutor (3)

c) you resort to the help of others to resolve the issue: who is right and who is wrong (2)

6. If a friend didn’t wish you a happy birthday, you...

a) you will constantly remind him of this offense (2)

b) you won’t congratulate him on his birthday either (3)

c) forgive his forgetfulness. (1)

1. What do you think about friendship? (do you think that...)

A) I don't believe in friendship. There are only people who need something from each other.

B) Friendship is not a bad thing, if friends did not betray so often.

C) This is the most beautiful thing in the world. I wouldn't trade real friends for anything.

2. Do you have many friends?

B) Not very many, and, unfortunately, most of them are not as close to me as I would like.

C) Many, and the very, very good, real friends.

3. Imagine that one of your friends, in a conversation with you, said something nasty about another. What will you do?

A) You will agree out of politeness, because you don’t want to lose your friend.

B) You will remain silent, and then you will tell everything to the friend you were talking about.

C) You will directly tell this girl that you do not agree with her, and in the future you will ask her to refrain from such statements about your mutual friends.

When you find yourself in a new company, how do you behave?

A) You are not in a hurry to get acquainted: after all, you don’t yet know what kind of people they are and how to behave with them. At the same time, you wait to be introduced.

B) Sometimes you try to be the first to take the initiative in getting to know each other, but only if this person inspires your trust.

C) Always say hello first and try to communicate with as many people as possible.

4) You and your friend went to a clothing store. She tries on her pants and you can clearly see that she's getting too plump for them. You will tell her:

A) “Well, you’ve gotten fat!”

B) “My dear, I don’t think they suit you.”

C) “You know, it seems to me that the previous pair suited you much better.”

5) How do your friends treat each other?

A) All my friends are from the same company, so they get along well with each other.

B) My friends are all different, but most of them have common interests, so they are almost always friends with each other.

Q) Many of my friends are very different from each other, and often I try to communicate with them separately.

6) You noticed that the guy you and your friend really like only looks at her. What do you think about this?

A) I like him, so I will do everything to attract his attention - I will try to seize the initiative.

B) You will sigh sadly, but say nothing.

C) Later, during a frank conversation about this, you sincerely congratulate your friend.

7) Women's friendship is...

A) Nonsense. The first guy I like will certainly interest my best friend, and that’s where the whole friendship ends.

B) Of course, it exists, and it’s a pretty good thing, but it’s often very difficult to preserve it.

C) True friendship, even if it is female, cannot be destroyed even by the most blue-eyed and blonde guy in the universe!

You're friends with your best friend because...

A) She is popular and everyone loves her;

B) I don’t know why, but I somehow like her;

C) she and I have many common interests and hobbies.

When someone introduces you, are you good at remembering names?

A) Rarely. I have a bad memory for names, and besides, when meeting people, it’s often very noisy and fun, and this is distracting.

B) Not always. When you introduce yourself to several people at once, everything gets confused in your head and nothing is remembered.

B) Of course. How can you communicate with a person if you don’t know his name?

Psychological test: can you be friends?

9) How do you usually talk with your friends?

A) As soon as I see them, I start talking for at least half an hour without stopping, until I tell about everything that happened to me. From the new math teacher to how many flowers the guy gave me on my last date.

B) I prefer to talk less (within reasonable limits, of course) and listen more.

Q) It seems to me that the best thing about conversation is the “fifty-fifty” communication - you talk about as much as you listen.

10) At your birthday party, your friend, who is sitting next to you, dropped a piece of cake on her skirt. Your actions?

A) “Natasha, come on! - You will say loudly to the whole room. “You can’t wash it off now!”

B) Pretend you didn’t notice anything.

C) Take a napkin from the table and try to discreetly pass it to her under the table.

11) Your friend met a guy in your presence who you really liked. How will you behave with her?

A) You’ll notice in passing how disgustingly the guy picked his nose when she wasn’t looking at him. And you’ll talk about how he changes girls like gloves, or something like that (you’ll come up with it as the conversation progresses).

B) You will try to refrain from commenting while grinding your teeth.

C) Talk openly about everything with your friend and express the hope that this will not interfere with your friendship.

12) You successfully, as it seemed to you, visited the hairdresser, and on the same day your best friend came to visit you. And when she was able to believe that she was seeing you in front of her, she said: “What have you done! So disfigure yourself! Do you have any idea when your hair will grow back now?” What is your response?

A) “When you cut your hair last week, I kept silent, but now I’ll say...”

B) “Fuck you! All you know is how to say nasty things. It's not all bad."

C) “I respect your opinion, but I like my hairstyle. But this is still my head!”

Now let's count the points. For each item “B” you tick, add 3 points to yourself; if you chose answer “A,” leave the amount unchanged, and if you chose “C” somewhere, add 5 points. Let's calculate what happened:

0-22 points: alas, your ability to make friends leaves much to be desired. If you continue in the same spirit, then by the end of school you will lose all your friends, and you will not be able to make new ones. So carefully look at those points where you scored the minimum number of points, and think about what qualities you could change in yourself so that you can truly learn to be friends. Maybe for this it is also worth reading a couple of smart books on this topic. But the main thing that you should never forget is that the ability to be friends is an art that anyone can master, if only they have the desire!

23-42 points: You can rest assured that you are respected and appreciated by many more people than you think. But it also wouldn’t hurt for you to listen to the advice given above, and then get ready for surprises. Because even more absolutely wonderful people will want to be friends with you. The main thing is to understand this in time and take appropriate action.

43-60 points - You are just a wonderful friend. And if you don’t become proud of this simple praise and don’t “spoil”, then the number of your friends will only increase over the years. And they will always support you in difficult times and be happy for you when joy comes to your home.