First of all, you should know that the procedure and conditions for the transfer of children for temporary stay are regulated by the Decree of the Government of the Russian Federation of May 19, 2009 No. 432 “On the temporary transfer of children in organizations for orphans and children left without parental care in families of citizens permanently residing in the territory of the Russian Federation.” It is worth reading this document carefully if you intend to adopt a child, since everything is described in detail there. Now let's try to understand the main points of this process.

Who can accept a child for “guest mode”

The requirements for obtaining a conclusion on the possibility of a child’s temporary stay largely coincide with the requirements for adoptive parents and guardians. So, “temporary transfer of children is carried out to families of adult citizens permanently residing on the territory of the Russian Federation, with the exception of:

a) persons recognized by the court as incompetent or partially capable;

b) persons deprived of parental rights by court or limited in parental rights;

c) former adoptive parents, if the adoption was canceled by the court due to their fault;

d) persons removed from the duties of a guardian (trustee) for improper fulfillment of the duties assigned to him by law;

e) persons who have or have had a criminal record, are or have been subject to criminal prosecution (except for persons against whom criminal prosecution was terminated on rehabilitative grounds) for crimes against life and health, freedom, honor and dignity of the individual (with the exception of illegal placement in a psychiatric hospital , slander and insult), sexual integrity and sexual freedom of the individual, against family and minors, public health and public morality, against public safety, as well as persons who have an unexpunged or outstanding conviction for serious or especially serious crimes;

f) persons with open infectious diseases or mental illnesses, drug addiction, substance abuse, alcoholism;

g) persons who do not have a permanent place of residence on the territory of the Russian Federation.”

What documents need to be provided

You should provide the following documents to the guardianship authorities at your place of residence:

• Application (in the form approved by the Ministry of Education and Science of the Russian Federation)
• a copy of your passport or other identity document
• a certificate from the internal affairs bodies confirming the absence of a criminal record that would prevent the child from being accepted into the family (they are indicated in paragraph “ d" in the previous section). This certificate is valid for 1 year
• a certificate from a medical institution confirming the absence of diseases listed in paragraph “ e" of the previous section, or a medical report in form 164/u-96 (this is a medical report of a person wishing to adopt, take custody/trusteeship of a child or become a foster parent). The certificate is valid for 6 months, after which it must be renewed.

In addition to the above documents, you have the right to provide “other documents indicating that he has the necessary knowledge and skills in raising children, including documents on education, professional activity, and completion of training programs for candidates for guardians or trustees”(According to the Decree of the Government of the Russian Federation of May 19, 2009 No. 432).

Further within 5 working days guardianship officials must check the documents provided, inspect your home and issue a conclusion on the possibility of temporary transfer of the child, which is valid for 2 years from the date of its signing, or issue a written refusal indicating the reasons.

A small addition: if, based on the results of a housing inspection, it is found to be unsuitable for a child to live in, you will have the opportunity to take the child for a while (without overnight stays), or go on vacation together.

The documents have been collected, the conclusion has been received, what next?

Now you need to contact the administration of the orphanage, providing them with the following documents:

a) an application for the temporary transfer of a child (in free form);

b) a copy of a passport or other identification document (with presentation of the original);

c) the conclusion of the guardianship and trusteeship authority at the citizen’s place of residence on the possibility of temporarily transferring the child to a family (or a conclusion on the possibility of being an adoptive parent or guardian);

d) written consent of adults living together, as well as children over 10 years old.

When making a decision, the administration of a child care institution must take into account many factors: the wishes of the child himself (the wishes of a child over 10 years old can be written by him); the relationship between you, the child and the rest of the family; if a child has brothers and/or sisters in the same orphanage, everyone needs to be taken for a visit; as well as the ethnic origin of the child (the possibility of ensuring continuity in language, culture and religion in accordance with his origin).

This decision must be made within 7 days from the date of submission of documents to the administration of the orphanage. If the decision is positive, an order is issued from the head of the child care institution, with which you must be familiarized with your signature.

A negative decision is also made in writing, indicating the reasons for the refusal.

What documents will you be given for the duration of your child’s stay in your family?

When temporarily transferring a child, the following documents are issued:

a) a copy of the order on the temporary transfer of a child (children) to a citizen’s family, certified by the head of an organization for orphans and children without parental care;

b) a copy of the child’s birth certificate, certified in accordance with the procedure established by law, or a passport of a child over 14 years of age;

c) a copy of the compulsory medical insurance policy for the child (children);

d) copies of other documents necessary for the child (children) during the period of his temporary stay in the citizen’s family.

Also, in accordance with the regulations of the child’s region of residence, you will be given products or money to purchase them for the period of the child’s stay in the guest family.

For which children is guest mode suitable?

Well, now about who can and should be accepted into the family temporarily.

Let's start with those whom Not It’s worth taking for weekends or holidays: usually experts do not recommend taking children under adolescence. Firstly, they very quickly begin to consider any house they are invited to as their own, especially if they spent the night there. And of course, at this age they especially desperately want a mom and dad, so no matter how you explain that they are in the family temporarily, they are simply not able to understand this and will wait for you and for repeated “guests,” otherwise and cling to the door frames crying. Still, such temporary residence is much less useful than assistance in finding a permanent family for a child.

There are situations when even small children need a temporary family, for example, when a permanent family has already been found, but cannot take the child right away. In this case, in order to avoid waiting in an orphanage, specialists decide that the child needs a temporary family. But this is only possible when accompanied by specialists who constantly work with these children and, of course, requires special training and a high degree of awareness from such “temporary” parents, whose task is to become a “transit point” to a permanent family. Our children really need such professional foster families, but so far the institution of a professional family in our country is in its infancy.

Why does a teenager need temporary stay in a family?

Children over 10 years of age have little chance of being placed in a permanent family compared to young children. But they really need the experience of living “in the wild,” and not in a state institution. Having left the orphanage, children do not know the basic things that would be natural for them if they lived in a family. In the overwhelming majority of cases, upon leaving the orphanage, 15-18 year old children cannot live independently, cannot enter further education, create a permanent family and raise their children. The habit of living with everything ready-made, the expectation that sponsors will give them expensive things for the holidays, the absence of a family model before their eyes prevent children from adapting when, like under a cold shower, they find themselves from an orphanage to real life.

That’s why it’s so beneficial for teenage children to be in a real family: to go to the store with adults, to see the relationship between parents and children, to live the everyday life of an ordinary family. For them, this will be an invaluable experience that will help them adapt to adulthood.

And of course, it also happens that having taken the child to visit, the parents do not want to give him back, and the child himself fits into the family so well that the temporary stay turns into a permanent one. That is, the child is adopted or taken into custody.

You can find out more about how to adopt a child into a family in our .

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"Not typical"

Alena is a very complex child, requiring attention 24 hours a day, so I would not extend the experience that we gained with her to other children. A child from an institution is always difficult in its own way, but the difficulty comes at different levels. It’s one thing when a child requires only attention, patience and love from his adoptive parents, and another thing when he needs long-term help from specialists.

Another thing is important: despite all the difficulties, or rather, thanks to them, it became clear to us that Alena needs to be taken home: in the family there is a chance that the situation with her will improve, in the orphanage there is not even hope.

And the conversation here is not about something being done wrong in the orphanage. We have developed very good relationships with the staff and the director of the institution where Alena is, and now we are in constant contact. A girl just needs to learn how to build long-term relationships, and this takes years. In a family, a child has parents, brothers and sisters, relatives - that is, a circle of people in whom the child is always sure that they will be there tomorrow, and in a month, and in a year, and in 10 years. An orphanage cannot provide this.

It’s difficult with Alena now, and I think it will be difficult for a long time. But we are trying to evaluate the first results of her stay in the family, and, according to the reviews of her caregivers and teachers, these results are clearly positive. She misses her, talks about her family with pleasure, remembers everyone’s names, and looks through photographs. I began to behave and study noticeably better. This is very encouraging.

"Typical Experience"

I repeat, Alena is a special option. We had experience of a more typical, let's say, guest mode. Of course, children and families are very different. But I will share a few observations that I encountered in practice.

2. In an orphanage, a child does not develop very important communication skills. It is a myth that children in orphanages are all sociable. In fact, they have big problems with communication. And the experience of life outside the orphanage is very necessary. Some even basic things: cook food in the kitchen, go to the store, watch a movie with your family, discussing it, and so on. What is natural for us is experience for a child.

The family gives the child not just new experiences, but much more. He looks at how relationships are built between family members, what role the husband occupies there, what role the wife occupies, how they communicate with their children. This is an experience that he can then carry into adulthood as a kind of template. Because an orphanage child either has no template at all, or he has one, but one that would be better not to exist: when drunkenness, beatings, and mutual indifference are the norm. Positive experiences increase his chances of a normal adult life.

3. Many are afraid of the guest regime (by the way, it is officially called “short-term patronage”). Basically, this is the scary moment: once you take a child, he gets used to you, hopes for something more, and in the end it’s scary to cause him even more harm, so it’s better not to take him into the family at all. This is a completely understandable and justified concern. And its resolution must be approached judiciously.

It seems to me that guest mode is possible in the case when we communicate with a child who clearly assesses the situation. Perhaps he himself is no longer ready to exchange the usual atmosphere of an orphanage for life in a family - after all, this will require certain efforts from him, which he may be afraid of. But at the same time, he retains a secret desire to at least from time to time feel like a family child, and he still needs family experience. In this case, vacations and stays can reduce the fear of family life and gradually bring you closer together.

We had a case when a teenage girl, who came to us as a guest, could not figure herself out - either it seemed easier for her to stay in an orphanage, then she was drawn to her birth family, then she again remembered us as an alternate airfield . As a result of these two-year tossing and turning, we never obtained guardianship over her, and upon reaching the age of 18, she was released from the orphanage. And it was only at this moment that we developed a close and constructive relationship, when she asked for help, lived with us for a long time and fully perceived us as her family. But she “grew up” to this precisely because we were close much earlier.

Another option when you can safely take a child as a “guest” is when you already have friendly relations. For example, a person, as a volunteer, goes to an orphanage to visit a child, they have been communicating for a long time, the child does not expect that this person will take him into the family forever, and for him, visiting trips are a useful and pleasant change. Why not? Staying with a family increases the child’s rating and inside the orphanage, he already feels more confident, because he has a friend outside the institution.

In addition, communication and building relationships is necessary for orphanage residents. Of course, they try to socialize them, take them on trips and excursions, they go to summer camps and sanatoriums. But the problem is that thanks to various trips and trips with the institution, children get used to having fun, but they do not know how to build long-term partnerships based on trust.

Well, and most importantly: if a person decides to go into guest mode with the goal of later taking this child into the family, then this can be a really good start to the relationship between the child and the adoptive parent.

“Short-term patronage” is a time to understand at least a little what you can expect from each other in the future.

4. If you still decide, then try to avoid one serious mistake. Often people take a child with the motive of giving him a holiday, bringing him as much joy as possible. They try not to deny the child anything, they shower him with gifts, and they come up with an entertainment schedule for him. This is very wrong, because in the end you get the wrong impressions of family and family life.

In essence, it turns out to be the same festival that children see in an orphanage from sponsors. That is, the child is entertained and pitied, but they do not build relationships on equal terms, where the child may not always be right, where he needs to give in to someone, where he has some responsibilities.

It seems to me that the guest mode is, first of all, precisely the need to immerse the child in the normal, everyday atmosphere of the family.

I know cases when the guest mode was magical, the child behaved perfectly in a whirlwind of entertainment and the parents could not get enough of what kind of angel they got. Then the child was taken away for good, instead of a holiday, everyday life began and with it - a nightmare for everyone.

The child seemed to be saying: “Wait, I was promised that I would get everything I wanted! And now I hear: “Learn your lessons, wash the dishes,” you came home from work tired and you have no time to study with me. You are vile deceivers, I don’t need such a family, I was expecting something completely different.”

It is very useful when guest mode is planned for the holidays, including winter and holidays, so that the child comes into contact with real life, with everyday life. Let them be flavored with a holiday, joint activities, joys, but with clear responsibilities: now you are making the bed, now you and I are going to wash the dishes, and now you run to the store, and I will start preparing dinner, and so on. That is, the child should feel like a member of the family. You should scold and praise him equally with other children, as if he were your child. Maybe explain more, choose words more carefully, teach what he doesn’t know how to do, but otherwise - no concessions.

5. Don’t get too carried away with guests: it is important for a child to build relationships with at least a small circle. Children are different, for some it’s normal to have new guests every day, but for others even one or two guests a week is already a huge burden, because he tries to please. It’s already hard for him, there’s no need to make his life more difficult.

6. I believe that it is necessary to plan periods of respite. Now that you’ve had an active day, you can make the next day “lazy”: just stay at home, lie in bed longer, read, watch a movie together, tidy up, cook something together.

7. Most often, no special problems arise during the stay - not the right period. But selfishness and drawing attention to oneself can appear immediately. And it’s better to stop it right away. The second common problem is when a child begins to beg for everything. It's a small thing, but it really gets on my nerves. Therefore, it is better to immediately plan things in such a way as to minimize trips with your child to cafes, shopping centers and entertainment venues, where everything blinks, hums, and beeps. After all, it works on the very weaknesses that are already reinforced in the orphanage. Just eliminate everything that develops consumerism in a child.

8. You must be prepared for the fact that when you take a child from an orphanage, your logic in general, the logic with which you communicated with your children, with which you are accustomed to building relationships, will not work. You will encounter situations that are either completely or partially beyond your understanding.

The child will demonstrate reactions that are completely different from those that you can calculate. You need to be prepared for this and not be surprised.

For example, a child may behave worst of all with those people whom he likes most. Instead of trying to please, he will consistently irritate them. The reason is that a child needs any attention, no matter what. But if you need to earn positive attention, then for negative attention you just need to press the right buttons - it’s easier.

A child can quite calmly tell you: “I love you,” call you mom, but these words will mean nothing to him. Children from institutions are easily thrown into such categories. They are ready to call a woman stranger to them “mother” as soon as they cross the threshold of the house. For them, “mom” is a word to which a woman reacts. So don’t brush away your tears of emotion, take this as calmly as possible.

9. It is important to observe and, if possible, pronounce all your motives, movements, and actions. Like with a small child, when you teach him to understand emotions. That is, to explain the actions of family members: “Now he laughed, was indignant, upset, because...” It is imperative to sort out offensive situations, because there will inevitably be offense, children from orphanages are very touchy and nervous. And even if a child tries very hard to please, this does not guarantee that he will not have a couple of nervous breakdowns during the time that he is visiting you. It is important that he learns to understand his own and others’ needs and emotions.

It is imperative to explain jokes and funny things, because there can also be some difficulties with a sense of humor. If you watch cartoons or films with your child that you find funny, you may see completely glassy eyes, and again you need to explain what you are laughing at. By the way, sometimes it’s also worth asking a child what exactly he found funny - this will help you understand him better, and perhaps even notice some problems.

10. We have more than once encountered the fact that children often say how much they want something in the family that they actually cannot stand. For example, a child says and sincerely believes that he wants younger children in the family. But in fact, he gets tired of small children after an hour. That is, the child formulates one thing for himself, but in reality it turns out that he needs something completely different.

11. You need to be prepared for the fact that you will still need to be strict somewhere, because you may encounter a situation where the child simply does not understand and does not listen to your explanations. It is simply unrealistic to completely transfer from the world familiar to him to the normal world in this short period. And you don’t even need to set yourself such a task.

12. Initially, when you take a child, you need to be prepared for the fact that you will not cope, that is, have a plan B. Moreover, it should be in the first place, because everything will go well, easily and pleasantly, and prepare -it's not necessary. Be sure to have on hand the contact information of a person whom you can call at any time about your child, consult, or ask how to “resolve” this or that situation. There is no need to be afraid to admit that you made a mistake, a pedagogical mistake. You need to call and calmly, correctly describe the situation - what exactly you did wrong, how the child reacted to it and listen to advice.

13. Often many, when taking a child from an orphanage, believe that all the teachers who work with him are enemies, they do not like this child, and only you have come, a kind of savior. This view must be abandoned immediately: there is a high probability that among the educators there will be those who understand the mechanism of the problem of a particular child. You definitely need to contact them.

14. The most unpleasant situation is if you wanted to do a good deed, but it turned out that your life and the life of your loved ones turned into a nightmare, and you absolutely cannot cope. Then you need to honestly stop everything. I’m not talking about immediately running to the first problem and taking the child to an orphanage. But when, after many efforts, you already realized that you are unable to solve problems, that everything is getting worse and worse...

Alena and I, for example, had a moment of crisis, then the situation leveled out and there was a more or less calm week. Then a crisis moment began again, apparently caused by the fact that we were going to an orphanage. But some slight positive dynamics were present.

If there is no dynamics, no strength, do not aggravate the situation, take him to an orphanage.

Tell your teachers honestly about your problems. After all, they don’t know how a child can behave in a family. And after the story, they will have a chance to warn other parents who decide to take this child as a guest, so that they do not step on the same rake. Therefore, even if you didn’t succeed, but you honestly told what problems you faced, you can do the child a good service. Moreover, educators and educators working with a child may have a “blurred” view of him and your observations will be very important and useful. Just when telling, don’t try to whitewash yourself and blame everything on the child.

Alena and I were saved by the fact that I understood very well: her most disgusting antics are the result of her previous life, she behaves adequately to her life experience. Because the problem is not with her, but with me - I don’t know how to react to this, how to cope with it, how to behave in this situation.

15. When you are going to take a child as a guest, try to carefully select a candidate and ask the teachers in more detail about him. We must immediately adequately assess our strengths and say: “These are my capabilities.” They will tell you right away whether you should or should not take this child.

There will still be surprises: pleasant or, conversely, unpleasant, but this is the case when it is better to lay out as many straws as possible. Guest mode is easier than guardianship, but it is still a huge amount of work that requires preliminary preparation.

16. When the holidays are over and you have safely returned the child, try to ensure that he has tangible memories of his stay in the family - photographs, for example.

17. In general, guest mode is not guardianship; it is much easier. Anything can be tolerated if it is only for two weeks. Another question is that it may turn out that these two weeks will change your life and ultimately expand your family.

Adoptive parents become the child's official guardians and legal representatives. But unlike ordinary guardians, they receive compensation for their services. Both married couples and single citizens can become parents. The main thing is not to have serious illnesses or criminal records, not to use drugs or alcohol, and also to be able to provide the child with everything necessary for life and study. Learn to be a parent Spouses who want to adopt or take custody of children can get expert advice at foster parenting schools. Here they will tell you what documents need to be prepared, what benefits you can count on, how to help your child adapt to a new family and avoid conflict situations, as well as how to raise children with disabilities. Today there are 57 schools for foster parents in the city.

How to take custody of a child from an orphanage?

Family law How to take custody of a child from an orphanage? Taking care of a child from an orphanage is a rather responsible and complex matter. People who make such a difficult decision certainly face many problems.

It is especially troublesome to run around the authorities and collect piles of documents. Next, we will look at the procedure for obtaining guardianship of children.

Important

What does it take to take custody of a child? First, you need to understand what guardianship is and how it differs from adoption. Guardianship involves accepting minor children into the family for the purpose of raising, maintaining and fulfilling all obligations provided by law.

The guardianship procedure is regulated by such regulations as:

• Art. 13 Federal Law No. 48;
• Art. 123, 145 RF IC;

How to take custody of a child from an orphanage

Among them:

• tuberculosis;
• oncological diseases;
• mental disorders;
• disability group I.

The moral qualities of the candidate for guardianship and the child’s attachment to him are also important, so preference is often given to a relative of the minor. The age range for guardianship is from 18 to 60 years.

Attention

Note! When establishing guardianship, the opinion of a child over 10 years of age is taken into account. What salary do you need to have to take custody of a child? The regulations do not indicate the income indicator of the guardian, but it is said that the guardian must have an income that ensures his normal functioning.

How to adopt a child from an orphanage?

The adoptive parents give the child their last name and raise them as their own. The age difference between the future parents and the child must be more than 16 years.

Only capable citizens who have no criminal convictions for serious offenses can become adoptive parents, provided that they have housing and the necessary income. Children will not be sent to families where parents use alcohol or drugs, are carriers of infections, suffer from mental illness, or have previously been deprived of parental rights or have been removed from acting as a guardian.
Foster families Over the nine months of 2016, 109 foster families appeared in the capital, into which 240 children were taken. In total, there are 2.6 thousand foster families in the city. They educate 4412 children. Such a family is created under an agreement concluded with the guardianship and trusteeship authorities.

How to take custody of a child from an orphanage

• recognized by a court decision as incompetent or partially capable, or families in which one of the couple is partially or completely incompetent;
• citizens who have an age gap with a future pupil under 16 years of age;
• persons previously convicted of serious crimes committed intentionally;
• those who were already an adoptive parent or guardian and were removed for failure to fulfill their duties;
• people who were previously deprived of parental rights in whole or in part;
• persons who are unable to provide a living standard for their child;
• having no permanent home;
• people whose health condition does not allow them to bear the burden of parenthood;
• those whose home does not meet the sanitary standards established at the time.

These are the restrictions regarding the identity of the potential parent.

How to take custody of a child from an orphanage: design algorithm

Date Nikulin Vadim Konstantinovich (signature) Of course, taking care of a child from an orphanage is a very difficult and time-consuming task, but it is worth the grateful look and hope for a happy future that the child will receive. So be patient, because the end justifies the means. Legislative regulation

• Federal Law of June 24, 1999 N 120-FZ “On the fundamentals of the system for the prevention of neglect and juvenile delinquency”
• Federal Law “On Basic Guarantees of the Rights of the Child in the Russian Federation”
• Federal Law of December 21, 1996
  N 159-FZ “On additional guarantees for the social protection of orphans and children left without parental care”
• Federal Law “On the State Data Bank of Children Without Parental Care”
• Part 2 Art.

How to adopt a child from an orphanage? not easy, but quite possible

• 1 Child from an orphanage
  • 1.1 Child from the orphanage
• 2 Guardianship of a child from an orphanage
  • 2.1 Single woman
  • 2.2 Grandparent
  • 2.3 With living parents
  • 2.4 Temporary guardianship
• 3 Requirements for guardians
• 4 Rights and responsibilities of a guardian
• 5 Payments and benefits in 2018
  • 5.1 Payments to guardians are divided into 3 categories:
  • 5.2 Citizens who have registered child patronage also have the right to benefits.
• 6 How to take custody of a child
  • 6.1 Where to contact
• 7 Required documents
• 8 Sample application
• 9 Legislative regulation

The decision to take a child into care from an orphanage or from an orphanage should be well thought out, you must understand what responsibility you are taking on.

To new dads and moms: how Moscow supports families with adopted children

The amount of income is considered sufficient if it is equal to (or exceeds) the subsistence minimum, which is established in the constituent entity of the Russian Federation at the candidate’s place of residence, based on all family members, including the adopted child. A citizen who undertakes to provide and supervise a child receives a guardian’s certificate, which gives him the right to receive a monetary reward. Who can be taken under guardianship? You can take custody of a child whose parents:

• died;
• deprived of parental rights;
• waived their rights;
• declared incompetent by court;
• shirk their direct responsibilities for education;
• do not live with children, do not support them financially.

In addition, children who are considered “foundlings” are subject to guardianship.

Registration of guardianship over a child from an orphanage

The most serious include consciously committed actions against the life, health and sexual integrity of people. As a rule, for such offenses citizens are imprisoned for a term of over five years, but can be released on parole much earlier.

In this case, the criminal record is not considered expunged, and this aspect is important for the registration of guardianship. According to Art. No. 32 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation at the time of establishing guardianship, the person applying for the status of guardian should not have an outstanding criminal record.

If there is no housing Every year the legislation becomes more and more friendly to guardians. Today, many Russians live with supervised pupils in rented apartments, the main thing is that it meets all the necessary requirements (area, air humidity, sanitary condition, etc.) and is rented according to the law. The lease agreement can be concluded for any period and certified by a notary.
If your answer is still positive, you should know all the nuances and pitfalls of this process and find out how to take custody of the child. Child from an orphanage You have the right to obtain guardianship over a child from an orphanage aged from 3 to 14 years. You should know that you should not entertain yourself with illusions that he will immediately be kind and affectionate when he gets into the family. Before taking a child under guardianship, you need to prepare mentally for the period of adaptation, because whatever one may say, for him it will be a change of environment and usual way of life. It is especially worth paying attention if there are already children in the family, you need to make it clear to your new pupil that everyone in the family is equal and they love him no less than their own child. You also need to remember that the key value is upbringing, and not the genes of your future pupil.

→

Today, orphanages are not uncommon. It would probably be redundant to talk about how many orphans are in such institutions. Even the best and most caring workers in orphanages cannot replace real parents for such children. People who decide to take a baby from an orphanage face many problems. And these problems are associated not only with a huge list of necessary documents that give this right, but also, unfortunately, sometimes even with condemnation from others.

If you have decided to take a child from an orphanage, first you need to contact the guardianship and trusteeship authorities. The inspector will tell you what documents need to be collected and in what time frame this needs to be done.

Who can be an adoptive parent

The age difference between the unmarried adoptive parent and the child being adopted must be at least 16 years. According to Article 127 of the Family Code, adult persons of any gender can be adoptive parents, except for persons:

• recognized by the court as incompetent or partially capable;
• spouses, one of whom is recognized by the court as incompetent or partially capable (if both spouses are adopting);
• persons deprived of parental rights by court or limited by court in parental rights;
• persons removed from the duties of a guardian (trustee) for improper performance of the duties assigned to him by law;
• former adoptive parents, if the adoption was canceled by the court due to their fault;
• persons who, for health reasons, cannot exercise parental rights;
• persons who, at the time of identification, do not have an income that provides the child being adopted with the subsistence minimum established in the constituent entity of the Russian Federation in whose territory the adoptive parents (adoptive parent) live;
• persons without permanent residence;
• persons who, at the time of adoption, had a criminal record for an intentional crime against the life or health of citizens;
• persons living in residential premises that do not meet sanitary and technical rules and standards.

What do we have to do

Adoption documents must be collected in two copies at once (for the OOP and the court). When contacting the guardianship authorities, you must have the following documents with you:

• An application requesting an opinion on the possibility of becoming an adoptive parent (either by hand or printed text).
• A short autobiography, which is written in free form (either by hand or printed text). It must indicate: last name, first name, patronymic, nationality, date and place of birth, place of residence, education, place of work, marital status. At the end the date is indicated and a signature is placed.
• Certificate of employment (on company letterhead) which must indicate the position and salary (a copy of the income statement is possible).
• A copy of the financial personal account.
• Extract from the house (apartment) register or certificate of ownership.
• Certificate from internal affairs bodies confirming no criminal record. This document is available upon request.
• Medical report from a state or municipal treatment and prevention institution on the candidate’s health status.
• If the candidate is married, a copy of the marriage certificate must be provided.
• When adopting a child by one of the spouses, an application expressing the consent of the other spouse to the adoption is required.

The full list of documents must be clarified with the specific guardianship authority. The documents that you are required to provide, as well as the rights and obligations of the adoptive parent, are specified in the Government Decree of March 29, 2000. RF No. 275 “On approval of the rules for transferring children for adoption...”.

After approval for adoption

When all the necessary documents have been collected, the guardianship authority is obliged to examine the candidate’s living conditions within 7 working days. After this, the candidate is given a written conclusion, with which he can apply to the guardianship and trusteeship authority at the location of the child care institution (if you want to take a child from a specific orphanage) or to a regional data bank on children deprived of parental care. The candidate is given the necessary information about children who can be adopted. The child has 3 months to choose. When a child (or several children) is selected, permission to visit is issued.

What is guardianship

A unique alternative to adoption is guardianship, which gives new parents all the necessary rights. Guardians bear the same responsibility for the child as ordinary parents during adoption, but there are important differences:

• if the child has biological parents, then they have the right to visit him;
• the child will not bear the surname of the guardians and all data on the birth certificate will remain unchanged.
• Guardianship can be established over children under 14 years of age, and guardianship over children from 14 to 18 years of age.

To register guardianship or trusteeship, you must contact the guardianship authority and receive a list of documents. Despite the fact that guardianship is easier to formalize than adoption, the list of documents is quite large and registration can take on average about 3 months. Standard package: your application for guardianship, the consent of the other spouse (if you are married), a certificate of health, a certificate of employment (including position and salary), a certificate of housing (extract from the house register), a reference (can be obtained at the place of work or residence) + autobiography, certificate from the police department, copy of the passport. An important point: when registering guardianship, funds are paid monthly for the maintenance of each child under guardianship.

Child's choice

For all future potential parents, it is sometimes difficult to choose exactly their child. Many people mistakenly think that in an orphanage they will be able to see and communicate with different children at once. This is wrong. You will choose a child in advance with the operator of a state bank, which contains information about orphans. You may see your baby on the websites of orphanages, in special TV shows and newspapers. In this case, it is necessary to find out whether there are plans to adopt this child by other persons. If you have decided on the choice of the baby, you will be given permission to visit him.

It is important to know:

• the exact amount of benefits that is legally paid to guardians and determined by regional authorities (where the family lives);
• if you want to adopt a child, but live in a rented apartment, then a rental agreement is required;
• adoption of a child by an unmarried woman is possible, in this case all other basic necessary factors are taken into account (income, living conditions, etc.);
• when adopting a child by spouses of different citizenships, the requirements stipulated by the legislation of both the state of which the husband is a citizen and the state of which the wife is a citizen must be met;
• the disability of one of the spouses is not a strict obstacle to the adoption of a child, but must be taken into account;
• an unmarried man can adopt a child, but this issue is decided by a commission after considering all factors in favor of the possibility of adoption;
• adoption takes time and requires patience; you cannot immediately count on a quick result.

Everyone has the right to happiness! If biological parents were unable to give their child a real family, then you can do this. Many families who have decided to take this important step face various problems, including psychological ones. You must understand that many people face similar difficulties, and these problems are surmountable. In exchange for some difficulties, you will receive real happiness - the happiness of being parents!

Rumyantseva Nina, publication date: 09/12/2010
Daria Pestova, update date: 03/10/2018
Reproduction without an active link is prohibited!

Natalia 16.02.2018 16:11
I want to take a girl from one to six years old. Stavropol region

25.10.2017 17:17
When I grow up, I want to shelter a Negroid boy 8-12 years old. I don't want to have my own children. I don’t want to get married, but just finish college, find a job, take a Negroid boy from an orphanage. I want to become a good and kind mother for this child....But this is my dream...And I want to fulfill it in the future.

Gregory 05.07.2017 00:02
I would like to know if it is possible to adopt a 16 year old teenager?

Julia 04.07.2017 11:55
Hello! I really want to adopt a child, because I can’t give birth myself. But I have a disability - group 3 - deafness. I work with a good income and have my own apartment. Are there any opportunities?

A cat, two dogs (one of them is an old dachshund), a mouse, a chinchilla, a parrot - all these animals live in the huge apartment of Stanislav Gusev, Maria Orekhov and their adopted children... Children - some at school, some in kindergarten, so you can calmly talk to the head of the family, Stanislav.

The horror of white coats

In 2006, my wife Maria and I suddenly realized that our two sons had grown up and there was nothing left to do. One day, our Maria posted a link on the Internet that classes were being held in Moscow orphanage No. 19. We really enjoyed these classes and completed the full course.

And after some time, four-year-old Vika appeared in the family. We didn’t make any special selections or look at the database. In the orphanage they pointed out her to us, she was small and bald. We just extended our hands when she came towards us. Although she was not very sociable: she hardly spoke, she was afraid of adults, especially women, and especially those in white coats. I just fell into a trance. But then I wasn’t afraid and went.

At first we took her just for a walk: the documents were not ready yet. But when we returned back and drove up to the orphanage, she grabbed me and howled. I told my wife: “Maria, go and sort it out as you want. I won’t let the child be tortured, I’ll go home with her.” Maria talked, and the manager allowed us to pick him up early.

And so our foster family began. We were prepared for the problems that we would have to face, or at least we knew about them from the School classes. Although, as for the first month, which, as psychologists say, will be cloudless, I didn’t see anything with any of the children. These are just theories. As for adaptation, it seems that nothing supernatural was observed either. Well, baby and baby. We already knew that staying in a children's institution leaves its imprint on the child's psyche.

Vika hardly walked, she kept stumbling and falling. If she was given candy, she would hide handfuls of it under her pillow. I didn’t understand in principle that there is one’s own and someone else’s. After all, in the orphanage they practically don’t have “theirs.”

Unfortunately, she spent quite a long time in the orphanage, where something happened to her and she lost her hair. It is no longer possible to establish what and how. Vika has total alopecia, that is, complete absence of hair. There is no cure for this anywhere. Twice a year she stays in the Russian Children's Clinical Hospital with her mother.

She, already living in a family, continued to be afraid of women for a long time. If I saw ladies in white coats, I fell into a trance: I rolled my eyes and froze. Neither sound nor movement could be obtained from her. It is clear that going to the doctors was a serious problem for us.

Despite her total fear of women, Vika immediately began to treat her mother normally, but still, for about a year, only I washed her. If my mother entered the bath, she began to cry.

Vika was also pathologically afraid of dogs. When we first arrived home, we just got out of the car, she saw a dog passing nearby and became hysterical. And we have dogs at home. Nothing, literally a month later she was sitting astride the dog, kissing and hugging. It turned out that she generally has a craving for living creatures.

Of course, when children who have spent more than one year in a children's institution begin to appear in a family, such “oddities” begin to appear to the untrained eye. For example, rocking from side to side.

Vika rocked for quite a long time. But gradually it passed. It’s just that, as soon as she started swaying, we immediately started hugging and squeezing her. And now, when she is sad or has some problems, she immediately comes to be hugged and kissed. He puts his head up and says: “Kiss!” That is, the rocking was replaced by an excess of affection.

Now Vika is in second grade. She wears a wig. Of course, she’s worried, but - how can I put it - more or less resigned. At least, if she needs to change clothes, she calmly takes off her wig, doesn’t fall into a trance, doesn’t hide under the covers. Well, a wig and a wig. Our mother has a theory that if a child is bad in some way, you need to love him as much as possible. So we try to compensate Vika for her problem with love.

Vika goes to a private school. The class there is small and the teachers strictly make sure that the children treat each other normally, no matter if someone stutters, limps or has no hair.

Vika also needs such a school because studying is not easy for Vika. And there you get almost individual training. In the morning there are classes, and then the teacher personally completes and explains to everyone what the child did not learn in the lesson.

Girl with three returns

Next we had Sasha. We decided that Vika needs to take someone small so that they can play together. Let's go to. There they asked us: what kind of child do you want? We said something like this: “About five years old, Russian.” The answer was: “We have a child that you need.” And they brought in a 10-year-old girl, an Abkhazian, who had three returns from foster families behind her.

Will you live with us?

Then let's go.

He has lived here ever since. Of course, all sorts of things happened, but Sasha is our daughter. Finally and irrevocably. When she received her passport, she changed her last name at her own request: she took ours.

Our Sasha is a completely ordinary teenager. He doesn’t want to study, he wants to go out with his friends. We also experienced the “emo” craze. Calmly, they were just keeping an eye on her state of mind, so that she wouldn’t harm herself, or go drown herself or hang herself, as is customary among emo people.

Apart from this aspect - we weren’t particularly worried - everyone in adolescence goes through some kind of hobbies. I was a metalhead, and my mother remembered how they were hippies.

It’s not an easy age, but what to do? You won't be afraid all the time.

Once, just during the period of her passion for “emo,” she decided to timidly cut her wrists. I come home and they tell me. I ask: “What did you use to cut it with?” Shows the blades removed from the sharpener. I start cursing: “Are you crazy, the sharpener costs 30 rubles!” Sasha has huge surprised eyes; she did not expect such a reaction at all.

Then Maxim, the eldest son, came and complained to him that Sasha had broken the sharpener. Maxim then hands her a kitchen knife with the words: “The sharpener is nonsense. But this knife is good!” Seeing that no one was taking the event seriously, Sasha was offended, but her passion disappeared.

But again, we saw that she does not have an internal crisis, that all her complete sadness was gleaned from books and magazines.

Sasha studies at the same school as Vika. She had pedagogical neglect. She went to school simply because she “had to,” and served her conscription. And they didn’t teach her anything there, they just drew threes. At the age of 10 she did not know the multiplication table. So we had to take our studies seriously and hire a tutor. And little by little I got involved. Now he also plays guitar.

Honesty check

Why were there three returns? They returned because not everyone is ready to live with an adopted child. And secondly, my daughter’s character turned out to be difficult.

And regarding the fact that adopted children are “returned”... Difficulties happen to everyone, with blood ones there are no less of them, and sometimes more. I recently spoke with a friend from the juvenile affairs inspectorate. They have about 400 children registered there - and all of them are blood. Nobody sends them to an orphanage because of bad behavior.

In general, it’s somehow not fair when a person has the option to “give it back.” There shouldn't be such thoughts. I took it all, your child, no options.

As psychologists say, children who have already been returned begin to behave badly on purpose, arranging something like a test for adults. With approximately the following motivation: “Well, you took me, but you’ll give me back later anyway. So let me arrange something worse for you now.” And Sasha also “tested” us. If you tell him to do something, he won’t do it out of spite. Or, on the contrary, he will do something like that and come with a challenge: “Here I am, I broke something,” and joyfully watches what will happen now.

True, the “checks” didn’t work here. We've survived everything. Well, I broke it, well, I’m running into a conflict, what should I do? We know why this happens. During the day she behaves defiantly, and in the evening you hug her and burst into tears.

They have been so traumatized in their short lives that many adults find it difficult to imagine. And there is only one medicine - to love, to stroke, to hug.

Where do dirty dishes go?

Vika and Sasha quickly found a common language. In general, all the children who came to us got along with each other instantly. They have a common destiny, common experiences and they understand each other well.

They have to adapt to family life. First, you take a long time to show the child what our life consists of. Sasha, for example, did not know what a refrigerator was for. Because she never saw him at the orphanage. He was standing there somewhere, in the kitchen. They were served food in the dining room, brought it in and taken away. She didn't know she had to wash the dishes. At the age of 10, it never occurred to her where the plates would go after she finished eating.

They never had their own, so there is a careless attitude towards things. Many adoptive parents complain that the child does not appreciate it, played with the toy and threw it away. He simply never had HIS toy. And you have to explain, reinforce. Gradually the understanding comes that the phone that was given to the child is his own, not shared. And - the attitude towards things changes.

Children in the orphanage sometimes imagine the family as some kind of fairy tale, where they will not be forced to do anything... We gradually load everyone with some kind of household chores. For example, the younger ones look after the animals, feed them, and clean them. Sasha picks up the youngest ones from kindergarten. Sasha and I also take turns walking the dogs.

Well, sometimes we ask you to put things in order in your rooms.

Jealousy is present, but not in a strong, not in any malicious form. For example, you put one person in your arms, and everyone else will immediately come running and sit down on different sides. Including the eldest, although she pretends to be such an adult, serious young lady.

Hose in the basement of a kindergarten

Andryusha is seven years old and has entered second grade. He and Vera go to the English-focused secondary school closest to their home. Because they have no educational problems.

Nobody wanted to take Andryusha away from the orphanage; he was considered a hooligan. For example, someone was hit hard on the head. But he is not out of malice. I just didn’t calculate it, I wanted it to be a ball, but it turned out to be either a bucket or a spatula.

Because everyone perceived him as such a malicious bandit, Andryusha, when he first came into the family, was gloomy and frowning. Now such a wonderful boy has grown up!

Although he constantly gives us some surprises. But again, not out of any malice, he doesn’t fight, but always comes up with something.

When he went to kindergarten, the teachers reported every day that Andryusha had learned something strange today. For example, 5 or 6 toilets in a group. According to the teachers, Andryusha filled it with soil from flower pots. I immediately had a question in response to this: “According to the most conservative estimates, it takes 25 - 30 minutes to do all this. How did the teacher leave? How can you leave preschoolers alone? It’s good, they didn’t burn down the kindergarten, they didn’t throw anyone out of the window.”

When we moved, Andryusha was transferred to another kindergarten. And he flooded the central heating unit in the basement with it. The janitor forgot the hose connected to the tap outside. And Andryusha knows how to handle a hose, he saw it at the dacha. He threw the hose into the basement, turned on the tap, the children played, played, threw sticks into the water and left. The teacher was not interested in what the children were doing at the central heating center. Everything was discovered when the lights went out in the kindergarten, because the water was pouring and pouring, and reached the electrical panel.

The teachers simply informed me about this later, so to speak, without any complaints. What are the complaints? Firstly, the janitor must think about what he is doing, there is a yard full of children. Secondly, the teachers didn’t notice.

After such incidents, I don’t scold Andryusha, but simply explain why this cannot be done, and say how unhappy I am that I was called in again. Why reprimand him? He wasn't going to do anything bad. He simply poured himself a puddle of water to let something in there. He didn't have any nasty thoughts. I heard someone complain that the children killed the cat. In this case of deliberate cruelty, I would not know what I did...

But Andryusha doesn’t do anything bad.

Vika and Sasha fell in love with Andryusha. They even had the following phrase: “Vic, call Andryusha, we’ll play it.” They dressed him, did his hair...

Three sisters

A year and a half ago, three girls appeared in the family - one is two and a half years old, the second is six years old, and the third is seven.

The sisters' story was covered in many media outlets at one time. The girls were sailing with their mother on the ship, and a navigator started visiting her. She left the children alone with him, and he turned out to be a pedophile - he undressed the children, took photographs, and so on.

When the story came out, the children were removed and placed in different institutions. And they called me from the guardianship and told me about the youngest, Sonechka, that there was such a traumatized girl. I called my wife: “Shall we take it?” She replied: “We’ll take it.” When I came to read Sonina’s documents, it turned out that there were three girls. Where was there to go? Don't separate them.

Adaptation was easier for girls than for others. Since they were already in an established family children's group with an established atmosphere, so to speak. The only one who violates it is the little one. And the rest are just playing. Well, they’ll break something, that’s natural.

All our children break something all the time - these are little things. That's why they are children.

It’s not for nothing that the TV in my room is secured with such huge eight anchors. There have already been repeated attempts to crash into him and drop him. At the dacha, while playing catch-up, we dropped a heavy ZIL refrigerator. Disassemble the fence? Disassembled! And one day we woke up at the dacha from a terrible roar: Andryusha decided to dry a car with lithium batteries in the microwave...

"Blood" questions

Vera, Nadya and Sonya do not miss their blood mother. At one time they separated “mother” and “the mother who gave birth to me,” or “when I lived in another city.” Now the issue of memories is removed, the girls move on, they have new memories.

Sasha didn’t ask any questions either. I only saw my blood one day in court, when we had to deal with her once again. Sasha was also called. She then tells me: “Listen, I thought she would come up to me and ask me something, I was still thinking about how to behave. Didn’t even come up...”

In general, no one is particularly interested in this aspect. I don’t know, maybe at a certain age children will start asking questions about this...

Paper life and ventilation

Some people planning to take a child into their family complain that “paperwork” and collecting certificates take too much time. But it seems to me that the procedure for obtaining documents could be even more complicated. People who complain that it is difficult for them to obtain certificates are not prepared for any difficulties at all.

I’m so aching that it’s difficult to get the same required medical certificates, I immediately want to say: “What are you counting on? So you take the child. He needs to be placed in a school or kindergarten. It is necessary to resolve issues with treatment, with studies, with behavior. How will you do this if you can’t get two certificates?”

I have a huge stack of different pieces of paper in my closet. Every day I choose something here, take something somewhere. Recently, the Air Transport Prosecutor's Office was nagging me as a representative of the injured girls; today I need to go to the security service and take them new contracts. Life is in full swing, including paper life.

There are inspections periodically. Recently, an almost anecdotal incident occurred: a representative of the SES came and drew up an act that caused me to burst into laughter. The young lady wrote that living in a huge apartment in a stone house on Leninsky Prospekt is impossible due to poor ventilation. I couldn't even find what to say. He asked where the young lady lived. It turned out to be in a residential area, in a panel two-room apartment. There must be excellent ventilation there.

Yes, these are the kind of figures who interfere with their strange conclusions. It’s good that this matter reached her superiors and the situation was resolved successfully for us.

And we don’t have any problems with the guardianship and trusteeship authorities; sane people work there. If they see that children have an apartment, food, clothes, they do not have the desire to go and check again.

The fact that there are many animals in the house does not bother them at all. Children love to watch TV on the dog as well as on the sofa.

We do not have any problems with guardianship in choosing a school. You just need to tell them where the children will study.

And they went to the emergency room several times: these are children, either they will break something, or they will break themselves. For example, last year Vika was playing tiger, crashed into an oak door, and cut her forehead. In the trauma room, she honestly admitted that she was playing a tiger. Then there were no district police officers. Perhaps the emergency room will call later, but the district police officer knows our family well, knows that we are sane people.

There are no problems with the people around me either. The neighbors, of course, look askance at this brood when we all go somewhere together. Some look back with positivity, and others with suspicion: a normal person would not take a child from an orphanage.

Although, without knowing, you wouldn’t guess from our children that they once lived in an orphanage. Well dressed, happy, cheerful.

At school, in kindergarten, neither parents nor teachers look at us in any special way. Although, perhaps, at first, they are scared. What a problem we have in society is the lack of information. Hence, perhaps, all sorts of fears: “They have an adopted child!” Then it turns out that this is an ordinary child who rides a bicycle and digs in the sandbox.

UN peacekeepers and correct books

Children, of course, swear among themselves, and sometimes even fight. Elders usually try to resolve the situation. Sometimes my wife and I have to act as arbitrators, or when someone has inflicted a “mortal offense” on someone, we have to bring in the blue helmets of the UN - peacekeeping units. And put things in order: “So, Andryush, you went there, Vic, you went there. Calm down, we’ll talk later.”

If Andryusha breaks toy cars, then the older ones, the blood ones, break full-size cars. They are already under thirty.

When they learned that we were going to take a child from the orphanage, they were amazed: “Ancestors, what are you doing?! Are you crazy? And then when they saw Vika, they fell irrevocably in love. Then the rest of the children appeared, whom the elders doted on. They still won't get married. And here, apparently, such a paternal instinct kicks in, not yet realized.

The eldest son periodically comes and reads books to them, which he claims are correct. True, I did not understand how they differ from the incorrect ones, and on what principle he divides ordinary children's works. But my son approaches everything very thoughtfully, carefully selects books, downloads them into an e-book, brings them back and reads them.

Parental refuge

In the morning I take the children to two schools and two kindergartens. We bought a minibus especially for this purpose. The eldest son helps to gather everyone: he works with us. At four-thirty, I start to pick everyone up. I took it home and back to work. My wife and I work until nine.

There are also clubs, but fortunately, some of them take place on weekends.

Late in the evening, it’s time for my wife and I to sit quietly in the kitchen, drink coffee, and talk. The kitchen is my wife and I’s refuge. After we managed to put everyone to bed, when they had all already peed, ate candy, ate an apple, drank juice, drank milk and they no longer had any reason to leave their rooms. This does not happen before 23. Although we start packing at 21. By 22 the apartment gradually calms down, but the “movement” in the apartment continues. So, if one comes for candy, it means that now everyone else will come and demand candy.

They say that an adopted child “tests” the family to see how strong the relationship is. Don't know. We somehow have no time for reasoning, but the fact that we are a family is clear even without them. We have already experienced so much that there are no doubts left, and nothing can scare us anymore. We went through the 90s together with everything that could have happened then: raids by bandits and police, loss of money, the fact that they shot at us, they tried to put us in prison illegally.

Gouache in the washing machine

This kind of thing where you give up, it seems, “that’s it, I can’t take it anymore,” probably happens more often with our mother. For example, she started washing clothes, and at the last moment someone threw a jar of gouache into the machine. Here, of course, it’s scary to look at mom. It's difficult for her. Also considering her character, her craving for order. Instead of order, she stumbles upon complete chaos.

Although we are trying to make children friends with order. At the level - I went to wash, threw my old pajamas into the dirty laundry basket. As you grow up and learn, the “tasks” become more complicated. You cannot train children, you can only teach them.

By the end of May, fatigue accumulates, we wait for the school year to end. It happens that my wife and I can quarrel. Then I say: “Children, get out of the room, we need to fight!” Children are not particularly worried about this; they can only say: “Don’t go there, mom and dad are fighting there.”

I don’t remember any family traditions. I don’t understand their meaning; the whole family cannot unanimously want to do one thing. With such a range of ages. Among other things, everyone really likes to go somewhere and travel. It is enough to give a command, the whole family is ready, without getting dressed, without getting ready, to climb into the car and rush anywhere.

Different

All children are completely different. The youngest one knows how to insist on her own, although she still doesn’t know how to speak properly. She’s even ready to fight to defend her point. At the same time, Sonechka is such a miracle, she always sings or recites poetry. Vera is purposeful, tough, has strict rules, and drives. Andryusha, he is very good, kind, and flexible. But he's a terrible slob. At the same time, he himself understands this. You ask: “Andryusha, what’s wrong with you, why are you all dirty?” “You see, I was getting out of the car, got caught on something and, of course, fell.” Vika is a real princess. And Sasha is so white and fluffy. Like a chinchilla.

For those who are planning to adopt a child

A person who is going to take a child into a family must first get all the nonsense out of his head from the series: “Here I am doing a favor to this cute baby.” Forget her and understand that they are doing you a favor. And secondly, it’s like chess: take it, move. You can't back up. Because “we are responsible for those we have tamed.”

You need to be prepared for anything. After all, we don’t know the habits of these children, perhaps established when they lived in their biological family, we don’t know what his mother used during pregnancy...

I have a kind of sanity test for doctors. You present all the documents to the doctor - professor, smart woman, he reads them carefully and usually asks the first question: “How was the birth?” We have to answer: “Doctor, how can we know this?!”

We don't know anything. Therefore, you need to be prepared that anything, the worst, can happen. Suddenly he will steal, run away from home... When you are ready for this and calmly perceive what is happening, but it turns out that he does not steal, and does not go into the trash heap, and does not run away from home - happiness appears. You begin to understand that the child is wonderful... Is this the third time you’ve lost your phone? Fuck it, the phone, the main thing is that the child is good.