When was the last time you made a new friend? Not a friend to exchange jokes at work, but a really close person whom you called would in a difficult situation. If you're over 20, you've probably wondered what to do if you don't have friends.

Suspects: work, family, “little time”

Many people guess why friendship fades into the background with age. We are building a career 40 hours a week, we have a family and children, but there is no time left for everything else.

Study How Do Women Spend Their Time?, conducted by Real Simple and the Families and Work Institute, found that 52% of women ages 25 to 54 have fewer than 90 free minutes per day, and 29% of women have fewer than 45 minutes. That's not enough to even watch an episode of Game of Thrones, let alone create friendships.

It is unlikely that these indicators are very different for men.

When a person reaches the middle of his life, his youthful impulses to explore everything disappear irrevocably. Priorities change and people often become picky about their friends.

Alex Williams, reporter for The New York Times

No matter how wide your inner circle, fatalism spares no one. Adolescence and student years are behind us. Now the time has come for “friends by situation” or just good acquaintances.

When people become adults, it is as if an invisible barrier appears between them. They get to know each other, have fun, but don’t spend as much time together as before.

As people age, they are less likely to form friendships. At the same time, they become closer with the friends they already have.

Laura L. Carstensen, professor of psychology at Stanford University

She suggested that the human psyche reacts to significant life events, this includes the date of 30 years. The realization comes that life is shortening. It's time to stop learning new things, we need to pay more attention to what is here and now.

Friends are no longer needed for survival

Another reason why we struggle to expand our inner circle later in life is because it is no longer necessary. In youth, friendship is an important part of personal and social development. We need friends to understand who we really are and how to decide.

Of course, no one thinks about this when making friends at school. We are not particularly picky and start being friends just like that. Do you sit at the same desk with me and also hate the teacher? High five!

Once personality is formed, we need something more to become friends. Circumstances alone are no longer enough. You may have the same problems and views with a person, you will share them, and then go your separate ways and only politely greet each other.

What can you do about it?

It would seem, well, okay, why new friends, because there are old ones. But if an adult loses his previous connections, what to do then?

In the lives of many of us, there are three important things missing: emotional intimacy, repeated unplanned interactions and. Without them, you cannot build strong relationships. So if you're around 30, you can't make real friends anymore? Not at all.

Tracy Moore, a writer at Jezebel, suggests that you just need to change your attitude: “Let's say you moved to a new city and you don't know anyone there. Or old friends now seem so impudent that you are even surprised how you communicated with them over the past 10 years. In any case, you should perceive the search for buddies as an exciting quest.”

Of course, you need to get out of the house and communicate with people with similar interests.

Here are some examples:

• look for thematic meetings in your city, for example, through communities of interest to you on social networks;
• sign up for courses: dancing, yoga, decorating master classes, wrestling;
• get and walk with other owners and their pets;
• travel, come up with a new hobby, sign up as a volunteer.

Strive to where life is in full swing. Chat with different people. It is quite possible that you will find a friend when you least expect it.

There are also advantages

No matter how difficult it may be to expand your inner circle as an adult, the game is worth the candle. Mature friendships have many advantages over children's friendships:

• your relationship will be based on common interests that may not have existed while studying at school or university;
• no restrictions: make friends with a large age difference or on the Internet;
• friendship will be more relaxed: an adult is unlikely to be offended because he knows that everyone has things to do;
• you will begin to value time with loved ones more.

As you get to know yourself, new friendships can become deeper than those left over from your high school years. And like any good relationship, over time it will become deeper and stronger.

What to do if you have no friends? Friendship is an ever-relevant issue that interests many. It is unlikely that there is at least one person who does not need good, faithful and acquaintances or just comrades. Everyone needs a friend. There are times when you want to speak out, cry, and who, if not a friend, can help. Friends will always help if grief happens, they will always be sincerely happy if you are happy. You can talk nonsense to a friend without fear and he won’t feel ashamed. After a hard day at work, it’s so nice to meet, chat, laugh and relax, without being afraid of saying or doing something wrong.

Almost everyone has a friend or at least a good friend, but there are also those who have neither one nor the other. The question arises: what to do if you have no friends. Such people are desperate and their heads are filled with only one thought: how to find real friends. Loneliness leads to depression and illness, there is no taste for life, every day passes like the previous one.

So you can't make a mistake? The main rule is not to get hung up on this thought and look at the future with a positive attitude. You will definitely have friends, the best friends in the world, and you will forget about the problem of what to do if you have no friends.

It's easiest among people who share your hobby. If you are interested in the theater, go to it more often; if you are into sports, then attend sports activities and events; if you are interested in cinema, buy tickets to all premieres. Have you been thinking about learning a foreign language for a long time? Great, sign up for the course. During the classes you will be able to meet completely different people, perhaps your friend will be among them.

Your courage plays an important role in finding friends. Be sociable, meet new people, get to know the world. It’s easier to start dating on the Internet. Offer friendship on social networks, communicate, share thoughts. Internet communication will help you relax and become bolder. The advantage of such communication is that you can end the correspondence at any time, nothing obliges you. It's funny, but people are more likely to be on the Internet than in real life. You may not know the name of your neighbor on the landing, but you remember the names of your virtual acquaintances.

Take a closer look at the people you interact with at work. Maybe you have coffee with the same person every day, isn't that a good time to get to know each other better? If young employees come to work for you, communicate with them, they really need support, and you can also make friends.

Now let's talk about what to do to keep your friend. The main thing is respect and sincerity. Don't treat your friend like a consumer, give in return. Invite each other to visit, give gifts, make mutual friends.

Another important point - don't take up all your friend's time. You must remember that everyone has the right to privacy and you should not be jealous of your friend for your loved one, time will pass, and you, too, will prefer your girlfriend or boyfriend to your friend.

Friendship is mutual assistance. Help your friends even in small things, your support will be indispensable to them. Over time, you will become dependent on each other and your relationship will strengthen.

Be careful, do not forget about important dates and anniversaries. Your congratulations will be pleasant and will warm you in difficult times. Make friends with a friend's family, give them cute or Easter gifts.

If you suddenly get separated, be sure to keep in touch. Call and write emails as often as possible, send photos, share news. If possible, go to visit, it will add new impressions; distance only strengthens the spiritual connection.

You still don’t know what to do if you don’t have friends, then re-read our advice again and start making friends, you’ll like it.

What to do if you have no friends? Only an adult can ask such a question, because children, as a rule, have no problems with this. They simply approach the first peer they come across and offer to play together. And that’s it – the friendship began. This is worth learning for those who want to make friends. Well, as for friendship... Everything is much more complicated here.

Morale

Psychologists advise people who dream of strong friendships, first of all, not to focus on it. That is, you don’t need to stare at everyone you meet and wonder if this is a potential friend. And even more so, you cannot constantly suffer, reproach yourself and envy those who have devoted comrades. Complexes in the search for friendship will only hinder you, and if you have them, you need to get rid of them.

But it’s worth conducting some self-analysis. Try to find the reasons for your loneliness (busy work or family, pride, isolation, inability to be sincere, etc.), and also understand what kind of person you would like to see next to you. It is useful to directly “draw” his image in your head and imagine it regularly. Thoughts have great power and often materialize.

Where to look for friends with similar interests

When discussing what makes people friends if they have already grown beyond kindergarten age, psychologists put common interests at the forefront. It could be anything: a passion for literature, cooking or fine arts; children, pets, travel. This is where you need to look.

That is, if you are an obsessed mother, you need to walk with your child more often where similar women gather. If there is a dog in the house, visit canine clubs or other appropriate places. If you love traveling, why not meet a fellow person with a backpack during one of them? People with common or similar interests will always have something to talk about. They will understand each other within a word - but this is almost friendship.

How to keep a friend

Once the acquaintance has taken place, it needs to be consolidated. And for this it is important to understand what makes a person a good friend. This is, first of all:

Ability to respect others:

Ability to listen and hear;

Willingness to help in any situation;

Sincere interest in the interlocutor;

Lack of inclination to complain and ask all the time.

If there is a problem with all this, it will be difficult to keep a new acquaintance in the “orbit” of your life. So, you will have to work on yourself. Friendship is a wonderful phenomenon that gives wings and solid ground under your feet at the same time. Together with a faithful comrade you can move any mountains. But to have real friends, you need to be like that yourself: sincere, friendly, interesting, responsive, generous. And then people will reach out on their own, you won’t even have to look for them on purpose. Good luck!

What to do if you have no friends

Schizophrenia: symptoms and signs of the disorder in children and adults

“Life without friends is a nightmare!” - many will say and they will not be so wrong, because even convinced introverts sometimes need friendly support. But what if you have no friends? First, figure out what you mean by the concept of “friend” and decide whether you really don’t have such people around you, not a single one who could be considered a friend.

What should I do if I have no friends at all?

So, you thought and decided “I have no friends at all, and I don’t know how to live without them,” if that’s the case, then you urgently need to look for them. Moreover, now it is important to simply find friends for communication; you should not immediately install the “looking for a best friend” program for yourself. Because you don’t become such friends right away, so you just need to start communicating more. Decide for yourself where you will do this, based on where you spend most of your time. The first thing that comes to mind is work (study) and the Internet. But you shouldn’t limit yourself to just them; maybe you’ve been meaning to learn how to dance salsa or do yoga for a long time? Well, go ahead and make new friends at the same time. And if you have a dog, that’s generally wonderful - pet owners always have something to talk about - first about the tricks of feeding and training, and then maybe you’ll become good friends.

The main thing is not to be afraid to start a conversation first, show sincerity - you are probably an interesting interlocutor, so don’t be afraid to show it to others.

What to do if you have no friends at work?

Many people complain that they don’t have any friends at all, but at work they can’t establish friendly relations with colleagues. Think about it, do you really need it? Good communication with colleagues is great, but friendship is not always good for work. There are so many stories about former friends who were at odds with work. Therefore, if everything is fine with your communication and friends outside of your work team, then you should not worry about their absence from work.

What to do if you have no real friends?

It happens - there seem to be a lot of friends, but not a single real one. What to do in this case? To begin with, once again review your list of friends and make sure that there really is no one with whom you “ate a pound of salt.” If you understand that this is indeed the case, then is it worth trying to understand the reason? Maybe it's you? Do you often “cry” to your friends about your problems, not wanting to listen to them? Do you give in to your friends in some way or do you constantly impose your opinion on them? If you have problems with communication and respecting other people’s desires, then it will be difficult to find a true friend - they simply won’t be able to see your vulnerable, gentle soul behind the thorns.

Well, what should you do if among your existing friends no one is suitable for the role of a real one? You have only one way - to look for new friends and do everything so that one of your new acquaintances becomes your best friend.

What to do if you have no friends?

People suffering from boredom and loneliness are traditionally advised to communicate with friends more often. What to do if these same friends are not available? The obvious option is to start looking for them, and you will find a person to communicate with and have fun. Well, if you can’t establish contact with anyone, don’t be upset, use your free time, as a respite, as preparation for grandiose achievements. In the meantime, do something nice for yourself, recharge yourself with positivity - people will gravitate towards a smiling and happy person.

Date: 2015-07-21