How long does an idyll exist in a relationship and how to extend it. Idyll Distribution of roles in the family in the relationship between husband and wife

Hello Anna.
This description of experiences, of course, belongs to a person who is sensitive and clearly attentive. And the problem does not look far-fetched at all.

We can say with complete confidence that if you went through a long way from difficult relationships to harmonious ones, then this is your overall victory in life.

I think the most important thing here is “the initial fear of love happiness.” Have you thought about this? Where does this fear come from? Psychology, as a science about the Soul, is necessarily karmic. Perhaps your fear is rooted in the subconscious. A trail from past lives, so to speak.

Fear can also arise from emotional external messages from other people, and this fear arises from someone’s banal envy of your happiness. Discomfort, of course, is a consequence of fear. Emotions are nothing more than the movement of astral currents. Our body can be both their receiver and reproducer. It is important to be able to distinguish between your emotions - which ones you produce yourself, and which ones are simply caught.

Naturally, this cannot be ignored. Prolonged states of fear can lead to depression, which then leads to illness.

Life, unfortunately, is not a walk in a rose garden. In addition, we must remember that the Creator has his own plans for us :) A love partner is only one of the facets of our existence. I would advise you to read the book by E. Heich “Dedication”. Described in an accessible, very interesting presentation spiritual path women. How many experiences she has there!

Good luck.

Hello Anya.
You both were able to successfully complete the stage of learning life wisdom life together, two free and independent people - you have created a partnership of two people who want to be with each other, and as a result you have received a harmonious, normal relationship that brings happiness. But...

Your happiness is still small, it needs to grow so that there is confidence in the relationship. And your past quarrels and disagreements are many years old because they are strong - habitual, and are in your memory, subconsciously creating the feeling that your happy, calm life today is abnormal, and you will still swear and quarrel. The memory of the past creates the fear of losing the good that has finally been born.

In order for the fear of losing love to pass, take it for granted that you have a free voluntary partnership and you live not for the sake of another person, but for yourself. And if one of you begins to feel bad living with another person, and the desire to be together disappears, you must respectfully accept this and move on, remembering the life lesson...

Dislike is born from something bad that another person brings to us, or we bring to someone.

Leave your bad in the past, in your memory as a lesson, and focus on doing good towards each other, and then your love will grow and strengthen.

Love is a process that can last either a moment or a lifetime.

It all depends on the choice of what you create.
Create a desire to be with you - love, and then your loved one will love you.

ALL THE BEST

Online consultation How to endure the idyll in a relationship?

Hello!

Are you similar in character and internal concept of attitude towards things and this world?!

You are both very careful and both feel very subtly and feel almost the same moments in the same way.

Both of you, equally in the depths of each of you in your inner “I”, have agreement and rejection of one or the other at the same time. What should I do?

From your entire letter, one line is drawn very clearly which describes your problem for both of you - you replaced it with many words, unable to reproduce it in the text, described and outlined this one thing that you both lack in equal shares?!

You must Trust each other, you must Rely on each other - for the Real - you must Believe in each other, for the Real. You must eliminate each in yourself and the shadows of Doubt in each other.

If long-term marriages happen for such men and women who were able to overcome all of the above, then they become not only like husband and wife, but also for each other and like brother and sister, like father and mother, like friend and girlfriend, like adviser and adviser - believe me, this is an incredible feeling, practically incomparable to the usual starting feeling of love, which is at the beginning of a relationship!

Good luck!

Online consultation How to endure the idyll in a relationship?

Hello. "The Unbearable Lightness of Being")

Your present idyllic state is not natural. But the previous state of war was not natural, free. Both there and here, each of you is afraid of losing... Yourself, each other for various reasons. But the way it works is that what you fear for a long time and persistently will certainly happen.

Therefore, the solution is to stop being afraid of it. As it will be, so it will be. If you love and need each other, you are together, if not, then you are not. But this does not need to be solved artificially.

Most likely, you both are putting too much energy into the relationship, "holding on" to it. Constant drama or artificially maintaining an idyll requires a lot of energy to the detriment of other areas of life. Maternal-paternal, social. And it’s strange that after 10 years your novel remains a novel.

Realizing yourself in other directions will allow energy to be distributed evenly and free your relationships from your own pressure.

Good luck to you)

Thank you, Lucia, for this wonderful reference, Kundera’s collisions are right on topic :) yes, undoubtedly, this is very strange story love. Regarding naturalness, the situation is twofold. On the one hand, it is natural, but on the other, it is unusual. You are right, I have an obsession with control and have a harmful habit of taking on increased responsibility for what is happening. It is precisely because I have currently lost control that I panic and cannot relax. I understood your advice in general: accept things as they are.

Online consultation How to endure the idyll in a relationship?

Anna, hello!

Truly grief comes from the mind!

Who inspired you that harmony, paradise and happiness are achievable on Earth?

You both came up with this for yourself / of course, under the influence of the glamorous world / and each raped yourself and each other, “forcing happiness.”

It is in this artificial state that you both remain.

Hence the discomfort and fear of what will happen if you get out of this state of twisting.

Moreover, there is a danger that one of you will not just get out, but “shoot” (like a tightly compressed spring shoots out from under a hand squeezing it). And then considerable injuries are inevitable.

What to do?
Urgently return to a natural state, slowly, without sudden movements.

Your “complex natures” were attracted to each other according to the law “Like attracts like” not for “harmony” and well-being, but for working out their Programs, for learning and knowledge. Neither learning nor knowledge takes place in heaven. As soon as knowledge begins, you are expelled from heaven - a well-known plot?

Start living, and not playing tricks. And the fear /the one you are talking about/ will go away. It is possible that other fears will appear. But that will be a different story.

I wish you success!

Best regards, Svetlana

IDYLL - (from Greek- image, picture, view) is a genre form of bucolic poetry in the ancient world. The main features of a poetic idyll are descriptions of peaceful everyday pictures and landscapes, serene shepherd life, simple, naive and open characters of the peasants. This genre arose as a contrast to the solemn elation of odic poetry and hymns.

In Russian poetry, the idyll in the form of stylizations of ancient examples appeared in the 18th and early 19th centuries in the works of A.P. Sumarokova, Ya.B. Knyazhnina, V.A. Zhukovsky, N.I. Gnedich. This is how the idyllic motifs sound in N.I.’s poem. Gnedich "Swallow":

Swallow, swallow, how I love your spring songs! I love your cute appearance, like spring, lively and cheerful! Sing, herald of spring, sing and circle above me; Maybe you will sing sweet songs to my soul.<...>You, a free bird, choose a hut and a magnificent palace as your home; but neither the lodger nor the lord’s palace can touch your nest with a bold hand, If he is not afraid of losing the happiness of home with you, You bring happiness to the house, where you find an untroubled shelter, God’s bird, as the pious plowman calls you<...>

In more late time idyll, as a poetic genre, is much less common, although we find idyllic poems in many Russian poets of the 20th century who visited the House of M.A. Voloshin in Koktebel, idylls - most of P.A.’s poems. Radimov, dedicated to rural life in Russia at the beginning of the 20th century. A striking example is his poem “Village”:

Spring day. It soars with lazy warmth, The grass turns green in the sun. They work in the village. Wheels for the cart are being cooked in the forge. The smoke, turning white, flows into the blue. The healthy smell of tar will hit your nose pleasantly. The bloated forge is blazing, and the aromas of burning are mixed with the tart, pungent spirit of glue. Cackling geese with ganders are splashing in the pond, flapping their wings. You can see the pasture clearly and far away: There the women lay white canvas in rows, And on the hillock, like a whirlwind, two swiftlets with fluffy tails rush at a gallop.

The idyllic mood becomes dominant in a number of poems by N.A. Klyueva, S.A. Yesenina, A.A. Ganina, P.V. Oreshin, I. Pribludny, N.N. Zarudina, P.S. Komarova, N.M. Rubtsova and others.

In prose, the idyllic is a chamber area of depicting a serene life, a life primarily contemplative in its origins, a life filled with quiet family happiness and the unity of man with nature. Idyllic values are widely and multifacetedly reflected in classical Russian prose of the 19th century from the unforgettable book by S.T. Aksakov's "Childhood years of Bagrov the grandson" to "Oblomov" by I.A. Goncharova, "War and Peace" by L.N. Tolstoy and “Poshekhon Antiquity” by M.E. Saltykov-Shchedrin, whose novel “Modern Idyll” represents a vivid example of a grotesque-satirical play on a term that would seem to have an unambiguous meaning. Idyllic ideas about the essence of life given to man are deeply significant in the works of writers of the 20th century - I.A. Bunina, I.S. Shmeleva, B.K. Zaitseva, M.M. Prishvina, B.L. Pasternak, V.A. Soloukhina.

What is an idyll? The answer to this question cannot be unambiguous. Serenity, a happy existence (or coexistence), cloudless relationships, a complete absence of anxious feelings - this is what an idyll is in the general understanding of the word. But along with this interpretation, there are other definitions. The meaning of the word "idyll" is used in several categories. In painting, it is a miniature picture of rural life, pastoral or bucolic in nature. In literature, “idyll” is about the same thing - a description of blissful scenes from the serene life of village lovers or a married couple. Moreover, such pictures, as a rule, are long-term in nature and can last for years and even decades, since the word “idyll” expresses the state of a person’s soul to which one should strive. At the same time, disappointments also occur, but they are small and do not matter.

Idyll is an epic, lyric or drama

In folk art, there is always a place for talented writers, artists and musicians. Therefore, terminology does not always matter. What is an idyll in classical literature? The writer inserts idyllic scenes into the narrative like a rare decoration, and these fragments truly ennoble a novel, novella, or even a short story.

Notable examples of idyll in literature are few, but typical. The immortal work of N.V. Gogol “Dead Souls” contains (first book, second chapter) a magnificent plot on this topic. The writer turned to sentimentality and romanticism, making them the basis of the chapter about the landowner Manilov, whom Chichikov visited during his travels.

"English Park" in central Russia

The entire Manilov estate is literally permeated with idyllic foundations, but, unfortunately, this is a pseudo-idyll, the result of the rather false aspirations of the landowner. And his whole life is somehow artificial, arranged according to the principle “this is how it should be, this is how it is accepted in high society.” The landowner travels to the city from time to time “to see educated people,” despite the fact that no one is interested in him there. Due to his limitations, Manilov does not see or feel disdain from his city counterparts, and he is happy from communicating with people he barely knows; this is his own idyll.

The landowner's return to the estate is accompanied by his anticipation of meeting his native home, and most importantly, with the “magnificent English park” laid out in a prominent place. The park is striking in its unkemptness and neglect, the “English lawns” are unevenly trimmed rough turf, several crooked flower beds and a dozen pathetic birch trees that never took root. Nevertheless, the landowner is happy, and this happens because the person has an idyll, even if it is an invented one.

"Marital Relationship"

However, Manilov also has a “light in the window”. His relationship with his wife, whom he calls only “Lisanka,” fully corresponds to idyllic standards. Mutual understanding has been established at the minimum level that allows you to sometimes joke, have lunch together, and even kiss over evening tea. These relationships are far from ideal, but quite consistent with idyllic ones.

Old world landowners

At one time, Russian literature gravitated towards descriptions of measured rural life, the patriarchal existence of a village family. The idyllic existence of the old landowner Afanasy Ivanovich Tovstogub and his wife Pulcheria Ivanovna is best described in Gogol’s story “Old World Landowners.” Mutual love, which had not been overshadowed by anything throughout my life, gradually turned into a monotonous series of days. The old man's only entertainment was to approach his wife with a stern look and scare her half to death with a story about some kind of war. After that, both went to dinner. In "Old World Landowners" the answer is given to the question of what an idyll in a relationship is. Nothing to add here.

The idyll has one characteristic property - it never transforms into other forms. And when Pulcheria Ivanovna died, Afanasy Ivanovich’s life also ended, although he lived for another five years, or rather endured them, every day dreaming of leaving for another world in order to finally meet his beloved wife. This is what an idyll is, in the real sense of the word.

Anna Karenina

The work of the Russian writer Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy "Anna Karenina" is an example of an idyll special properties. Life and death, two completely opposite categories, are presented by Tolstoy as an illogical example. Idyll, or “harmony,” sometimes takes rather bizarre forms. Several plots described by L.N. Tolstoy in the novel concern people in love who are trying to unite. However, as soon as they begin to live together and there is only one step left before the idyll in the relationship, everything is necessarily perverted.

Quarrels and misunderstandings, but love is still alive, and even becomes stronger. However, death is already coming to the fore. And its role, neither more nor less, lies in the idyllic leveling of the situation, hopeless and tragic. Vronsky lives without interest; sooner or later he will die in a duel or from an accident. Levin is afraid to walk with a gun because he feels tempted to shoot himself. The main character, Anna Karenina, throws herself under a train. In Leo Tolstoy's interpretation, an idyll is a drama, even if such an explanation goes against logic and universal human values.

Poet Osip Mandelstam

In Mandelstam's poetry there is a clear desire for an idyll. Another thing is that not a single poem of his is completely peaceful, and this attribute precisely determines the degree of serenity of a literary work. Only certain lines from the poet’s poems can be considered idyllic:

"...don't be discouraged, get on the tram, so empty, so empty..."

The theme is calming, the sound of the couplet is soothing. This is Mandelstam's idyll. The poet followed the immutable rule all his life - “don’t be discouraged.” He sincerely tried to understand the reasons for his wife Lily Brik's betrayal, but he never understood anything. T
Nevertheless, later, the poet accepted her connection with Vladimir Mayakovsky as a kind of idyll, inevitable and grandiose. Jealousy and a sense of insulted dignity faded before the greatness of the term. That's what they decided on. So it turns out that the idyll is lyrics, love and devotion.

However, this story ended tragically, Mayakovsky committed suicide because of unrequited love. And here the interpretation of the concept of “idyll” in the spirit of Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy - “love and death” - comes onto the stage. In fact, the meaning of the word “idyll” in its pure form implies something good, kind, and most importantly, pleasant. But, as we see, sometimes it bears the stamp of tragedy.

Bucolic

The most idyllic pictures are reflected in two genres, both in literature and in the fine arts - pastoral subjects and bucolic. True peace can only be felt in nature, among flowering meadows, a clear lake, a mushroom forest and many other landscape attractions that surround us.

Bucolica is a poetic depiction of the life of shepherds and shepherdesses. The bucolic story usually begins at sunrise, when cattle from all over the village are herded to pasture. At the same time, there are no signs of civilization; the shepherd, as a rule, is barefoot, in his hands is a whip, and on his shoulder is a canvas bag with a loaf of bread. Nothing else is needed; tomatoes, cucumbers and other vegetables can be picked from any village garden along the way. The picture of grazing is extremely simple, even primitive. But it contains the main thing - unity with nature. A herd of cows or sheep, as well as other livestock, is taken out to pasture for the whole day, until sunset. Then the herd, led by a shepherd, returns to the village, and each cow goes to its own home.

Dudochka, the ancestor of the flute

The long summer day passes slowly, while the cattle are nibbling the grass, the shepherd is trying to do something. This is where the bucolic plot begins, many elements folk art came precisely from the shepherd's inventions.

For example, such a symphony orchestra instrument as the flute historically appeared in meadows and pastures. It all started with an elderberry pipe, carved by a shepherd and brought to life in his hands. Later, the shepherds learned to make a pipe, a more complex instrument that could already be called musical. Sounds similar to notes were produced from the flute, although without halftones. The shepherds picked out the simplest melodies by ear and repeated them hundreds of times until they were remembered. This is how musical folklore was born.

Pies as the art of seduction

Since young boys became shepherds, the pipes did not save them from loneliness. And so it was in Rus' - “where there is a shepherdess, there is a shepherdess.”

In those distant times, a village shepherd was considered an eligible bachelor. And efficient mothers who had daughters of marriageable age did not waste time. The girl put the pies her mother had just baked into a basket and hit the road. By noon she came to pasture and treated her chosen one. Who wouldn't be happy about pies and beautiful girl? It happened that the girl was delayed, and she and the shepherd woke up only in the evening, in the shade of an old oak tree. And then, in the fall, weddings took place.

Pastoral

Literary works, prose, poem, ode, essay... A whole layer of Russian culture, an idyll of the narrative genre! Music, symphonies, arias and other classical works can also be pastoral. Unlike bucolic, pastoral does not include pastoral scenes; it is most often based on rural life, measured and leisurely. Also, the pastoral genre can depict nature, landscapes with or without the participation of peasants, but in any case, the theme of paintings, literary works and musical masterpieces depicting people against the backdrop of nature, fields, meadows, forests and rivers is, in fact, there is a pastoral genre. At the same time, animals, sheep, lambs, goats must participate in the plot.

Tablecloth on the grass

A favorite theme of artists who paint pastoral paintings is the “country picnic,” which usually depicts members of high society out in the countryside with family or friends. Often next to them are their favorite hunting dogs, which significantly diversify the plot. There is a tablecloth laid out on the grass, laden with bottles.
ami and plates with treats. Thus, it becomes clear that the idyll is a genre of fine art, comprehensive and quite large-scale. Like any other direction that requires the artist to have talent.

The concept of “idyll” is something unforgettable; adults and children remain impressed by novels, operas, and symphonies in this genre. simple people and intellectuals. Every person is receptive to real art, and everyone understands that any story once had its beginning and continuation, as well as an end, but how this story is presented today is another question. An idyll is something special, a unique artistic genre.

Idyll is an epic, lyric or drama

in central Russia

The entire Manilov estate is literally permeated with idyllic foundations, but, unfortunately, the result of the landowner’s rather false aspirations. And his whole life is somehow artificial, arranged according to the principle “this is how it should be, this is how it is accepted in high society.” The landowner travels to the city from time to time “to see educated people,” despite the fact that no one is interested in him there. Due to his limitations, Manilov does not see or feel disdain from his city counterparts, and he is happy from communicating with people he barely knows; this is his own idyll.

"Marital Relationship"

Old world landowners

At one time, Russian literature gravitated towards descriptions of measured rural life, the patriarchal existence of a village family. The idyllic existence of the old landowner Afanasy Ivanovich Tovstogub and his wife Pulcheria Ivanovna is best described in Gogol’s story “Old World Landowners.” Mutual love, which was not overshadowed by anything throughout life, gradually turned into a monotonous series of days. The old man's only entertainment was to approach his wife with a stern look and scare her half to death with a story about some kind of war. After that, both went to dinner. In "Old World Landowners" the answer is given to the question of what an idyll in a relationship is. Nothing to add here.

Anna Karenina

The work of the Russian writer Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy “Anna Karenina” is an example of an idyll of a special nature. Life and death, two completely opposite categories, are presented by Tolstoy as an illogical example. Idyll, or “harmony,” sometimes takes rather bizarre forms. Several plots described by L.N. Tolstoy in the novel concern people in love who are trying to unite. However, as soon as they begin to live together and there is only one step left before the idyll in the relationship, everything is necessarily perverted.

Quarrels and misunderstandings, but love is still alive, and even becomes stronger. However, death is already coming to the fore. And its role, neither more nor less, lies in the idyllic leveling of the situation, hopeless and tragic. Vronsky lives without interest; sooner or later he will die in a duel or from an accident. Levin is afraid to walk with a gun because he feels tempted to shoot himself. The main one completely throws himself under the train. In Leo Tolstoy's interpretation, an idyll is a drama, even if such an explanation goes against logic and

Poet Osip Mandelstam

"...don't be discouraged, get on the tram, so empty, so empty..."

The theme is calming, the sound of the couplet is soothing. This is Mandelstam's idyll. The poet followed the immutable rule all his life - “don’t be discouraged.” He sincerely tried to understand the reasons for his wife Lily Brik's betrayal, but he never understood anything. However, later, the poet accepted her connection with Vladimir Mayakovsky as a kind of idyll, inevitable and grandiose. Jealousy and a sense of insulted dignity faded before the greatness of the term. That's what they decided on. So it turns out that the idyll is lyrics, love and devotion.

Bucolic

Bucolica is a poetic depiction of the life of shepherds and shepherdesses. The bucolic story usually begins at sunrise, when cattle from all over the village are herded to pasture. At the same time, there are no signs of civilization; the shepherd, as a rule, is barefoot, in his hands is a whip, and on his shoulder is a canvas bag with a loaf of bread. Nothing else is needed; tomatoes, cucumbers and other vegetables can be picked from any village garden along the way. The picture is extremely simple, even primitive. But it contains the main thing - unity with nature. A herd of cows or sheep, as well as other livestock, is taken out to pasture for the whole day, until sunset. Then the herd, led by a shepherd, returns to the village, and each cow goes to its own home.

Dudochka, the ancestor of the flute

The long summer day passes slowly, while the cattle are nibbling the grass, the shepherd is trying to do something. This is where the bucolic plot begins; many elements of folk art come precisely from shepherd’s tales.

Pies as the art of seduction

Since young boys became shepherds, the pipes did not save them from loneliness. And so it was in Rus' - “where there is a shepherdess, there is a shepherdess.”

In those distant times, a village shepherd was considered an eligible bachelor. And efficient mothers who had daughters of marriageable age did not waste time. The girl put the pies her mother had just baked into a basket and hit the road. By noon she came to pasture and treated her chosen one. Who wouldn't be happy about pies and a beautiful girl? It happened that the girl was delayed, and she and the shepherd woke up only in the evening, in the shade of an old oak tree. And then, in the fall, weddings took place.

Pastoral

Literary works, prose, poem, ode, essay... A whole layer of Russian culture, an idyll of the narrative genre! Music, symphonies, arias and other classical works can also be pastoral. Unlike bucolic, pastoral does not include pastoral scenes; it is most often based on rural life, measured and leisurely. Also in the pastoral genre, nature, landscapes with or without the participation of peasants can be depicted, but in any case, the theme of paintings, literary works and musical masterpieces depicting people against the backdrop of nature, fields, meadows, forests and rivers is, in fact, there is a pastoral genre. At the same time, animals, sheep, lambs, goats must participate in the plot.

Tablecloth on the grass

A favorite theme of artists who paint pastoral paintings is the “country picnic,” which usually depicts members of high society out in the countryside with family or friends. Often next to them are their favorite hunting dogs, which significantly diversify the plot. There is a tablecloth laid out on the grass, lined with bottles and plates of food. Thus, it becomes clear that the idyll is comprehensive and quite large-scale. Like any other direction that requires the artist to have talent.

The concept of “idyll” is something unforgettable; adults and children, ordinary people and intellectuals remain impressed by novels, operas, and symphonies in this genre. Every person is receptive to real art, and everyone understands that any story once had its beginning and continuation, as well as an end, but how this story is presented today is another question. An idyll is something special, a unique artistic genre.