Even if a home-schooled child receives excellent development of his intellectual abilities, parents should think about whether knowledge, skills and abilities are the only components of happiness in life? After all, if you think about it, you can clearly see that happiness comes from relationships with other people - with a loved one, with relatives and friends, with colleagues and just acquaintances.

Ahead is September 1 - the long-awaited Day of Knowledge, the beginning of a new school year, another year of amazing discoveries, another step into adulthood!

Why, to the energetic question of adults: “Well, do you miss school?”– often do children look away and make a sad face? Maybe they are poor students and just don’t want to study?

Too smart for school

The trouble is that among the children who do not like school, many are gifted and developed. These children consider time spent at school to be wasted. They feel smarter than other kids in their class. What the class learns in class, these kids have known for a long time, they don’t have to repeat the same thing ten times - they learn new information the first time. Their real life and development begins after school lessons - clubs, sports sections, English classes, music, programming and much, much more that is not taught in a modern school. And often a paradoxical situation arises when a gifted child is underworked and frankly bored at school and is overloaded with additional activities outside of school.

As a rule, these are children who have either an audio-visual connection of vectors. Their capacity for knowledge is indeed higher than that of most people. The standard school curriculum comes too easily to them, so parents often have to rack their brains when such a child once again asks the question:

“Why do I need school? I already know all this or I can learn it myself.”

Advanced parents, seeing the “suffering” of their dear children and caring about their full intellectual development, take these children out of school to transfer them to home schooling. Fortunately, the Internet is now replete with educational programs and courses on any topic.

But new difficulties often arise at home - without good organization on the part of parents, home schooling turns into doing nothing at home, namely, sitting at the computer around the clock with breaks for clubs and sections, interest in which weakens as the computer becomes more and more addictive.

But even if this is not the case, and a home-schooled child receives excellent development of his intellectual abilities, parents should think about whether knowledge, skills and abilities are the only components of happiness in life? After all, if you think about it, you can clearly see that happiness comes from relationships with other people - with a loved one, with relatives and friends, with colleagues and just acquaintances.

"They're bothering me!"

To deprive a sound child of screaming, running, not very smart, from his point of view, classmates - this is exactly what he consciously wants. Previously, his surrounding peers were not very happy with him in terms of communication, but now they seem completely unnecessary. Since childhood, feeling his intellectual superiority, a sound-visual child can show arrogance towards his classmates, and they, in turn, also do not remain in debt. The desire to communicate disappears, and along with this the already fragile ability to build relationships is lost.

The child withdraws into his own world. Egocentrism in the sound vector separates him from the world around him, creating the illusion of his own genius. Parents often do not understand that if they do not break this shell of egocentrism before the end of puberty, then in the future they will have to face more complex problems than just reluctance to go to school - depression, computer addiction, unwillingness and inability to interact with other people.

Therefore, whatever your decision regarding learning, you need to make every effort to arouse in your child a desire to communicate and interest in other people. How to do this is explained in detail at the training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan.

Why is she yelling? Because she feels bad

Every behavior has its reasons, and if you understand them, then there is no room for hostility. When building a trusting relationship with a child, you need to explain to him the reasons for the actions of other people, show the differences between some people and others, and evoke sympathy and empathy.

For example, like here:

– Do you feel bad at school because it seems to you that the teacher is yelling all the time? Why do you think she's yelling?

– Because children don’t listen? And she doesn’t know what to do, how to calm the class down, right? It turns out that she feels bad. People often yell when they feel bad.

“You can feel sorry for her or help her somehow to make her feel better.”

Sound engineers love to think and think about the reasons why it will be interesting to them. And very useful. Moreover, if you can systematically give them accurate answers about the reasons for people’s behavior.

To understand - to help...

The sonorous child himself needs to create conditions for a sound ecology at home, so that there are no loud screams and noise; it is advisable that from childhood he learns to listen to the sounds of classical music. This will train his brain to focus outward on the world around him, rather than focusing inward. And of course, the surest way for any child to study well is to maintain a sense of security and safety.

With all the outstanding abilities of a child with a sound vector, you should not demand excellent grades from him in all subjects. Sound engineers usually show a certain selectivity of interests: they devote themselves to something with all their passion, but they simply cannot be forced to teach something.

Approach the teacher and ask to give your child extra tasks in class so that he does not have the illusion of his own genius. Don’t try to “excuse” him from school events – sports days, concerts, competitions. Perhaps your sound engineer won’t like the review of formations and songs, but who better than him will defend the honor of the class at the competition of scientific projects and Olympiads?

It is important that the child understands that he is not “a boy on his own,” but part of something larger - a class, a city, a country. That his achievements and merits do not belong only to him, that by realizing his abilities, he serves the Motherland, the happiness and health of other people.

These thoughts may seem somewhat utopian. But this is the only way to raise a genius as a mentally healthy person. Otherwise, the life of a sound child or teenager is under a serious, not always realized threat of depression and suicide. .

It is very important to understand your child. Then you will know how to guide him without violating his independence and without contradicting his natural desires, helping to develop the best that is inherent in him.

Does your child want to go to school? If not, do you know why?

Grodno residents - parents, teachers and tutors - told us about the pros and cons of Belarusian secondary education.

More attention to papers than children

teacher Olga Bukataya I came to work at school after college. In the first year, she created and implemented an experimental program. But over time, I felt that I had to pay more attention to filling out the “papers” than to the children.

The second difficulty at school, according to Olga, is disrespect for students.

The school management treats the children like puppets,” she explains. “I realized that I don’t want to work in such a system.

Olga left and, together with like-minded people, created a children's educational studio. They dream of opening a private school in Grodno.

According to the psychologist Svetlana Kutakova, it is necessary to develop the emotional intelligence of schoolchildren. And changes in programs, which practically abolished aesthetic education, threw the school back into the “stone age.”

Another issue that should be given more attention is physical development and body culture.

We study at home. If allowed

Svetlana has six children. Three of them are schoolchildren: 8th, 5th and 3rd grades. We were one of the first in Grodno to begin studying according to an individual plan. This opportunity is provided for by the Education Code: children do not go to school every day, but study at home independently. Once a quarter they complete control tasks.

The main issue that raised concerns among school teachers was the socialization of children. But this, Svetlana believes, is not a problem at all:

The family has the most difficult, necessary and significant social load. Here children learn to negotiate, build and maintain relationships.

Her children cope with the curriculum. True, teachers are looking at them more closely.

At first I was very worried about my grades,” admits Svetlana. - But then I thought: at school it’s also different: one has a B, another has a ten.

More and more parents would like to choose individualized education for their children. But not everyone succeeds. After two years on an individual plan, Natalya’s daughter was not allowed to continue her studies.

According to the director, the reason was an anonymous call about “inappropriate” living and raising conditions for the child. Checks and questions began, the family was going to be registered as being in a socially dangerous situation.

We were forced to register our daughter in Minsk with her grandmother, where she was allowed to study as we asked. Now we take tests to the capital once every quarter,” says Natalya.

Her daughter graduated from 3rd grade. He spends about an hour a day studying and during this time manages to complete all the necessary tasks. In his free time, he goes to music school, studies dance acrobatics, English, and enjoys weaving.

According to Natalya, the harsh resistance of the education system to the wishes of parents is not justified, but is rather caused by the fear of the new and the fear of losing control over the situation.

Who, if not parents, knows better what a child needs? We are told that the school is responsible for the children. But parents are responsible for them both when changing schools and upon graduation. And we are being deprived of the legal right to choose,” says Natalya, herself a third-generation teacher.

The school is counting on tutors

Tatiana Solovyova- English teacher, and now tutors. Works with children from different schools in Grodno. Despite the same programs, their level of training is very different.

However, the success of a student does not always depend on the teacher. Children may have different degrees of motivation and abilities, Tatiana emphasizes.

And then I just feel sorry for my job. With such a request, it is necessary to learn to recognize pitfalls in tasks. And after the central heating, where do you go with this baggage? - Tatyana laments.

Learn to fit into the system

Testing, which replaced exams, greatly changed the entire education system and the criteria for its quality:

It is difficult for many people to formulate their own point of view: the problem is with self-expression. They stopped teaching this, and tests are only included in the system of norms.

Pavel Solovyov says that textbooks have also become less understandable:

Somehow my son couldn’t figure out a topic in physics. I downloaded an old Soviet textbook for technical schools from the Internet. He read it and understood everything the first time.

Tatyana and Pavel graduated from school with a medal.

We were taught the skills of analytical thinking, selection and sorting of information - these are very necessary things. Even university teachers taught classes. Now there is almost nothing like this anywhere,” says Tatyana.

In any system, people decide everything. And now, the Solovyovs believe, the teacher has been placed in an undeservedly low social position.

You could pay more

A rural school is very different from a city school, says one of the youngest school principals in the Grodno region.

He is 29 and has been running the Ozery school for three years now. 78% of last year's graduates entered universities.

The staff is very strong, there is no turnover. Chemistry in Ozery is prepared in such a way that every year schoolchildren take prizes at republican Olympiads. According to Sergei, the school curriculum allows teachers to approach their work creatively.

Everyone has a flight of fancy that cannot be limited. If you force everything into a rigid framework, then creativity will simply disappear.

Among the changes in the school education system, the director notes that the degree of responsibility of teachers has increased significantly.

We are responsible for the life and health of children almost around the clock, we even have the function of monitoring the family... Education is practically responsible for everything,” concludes Sergei.

But in this case, one would have to pay more for high responsibility, the director believes. By the way, starting next year, the school will receive 2,600 rubles per year for each child and will have to pay all its expenses from this budget, from salaries to utilities. Any savings or additional earnings will remain at the disposal of the school.

For the first time, school principals will become business executives. We will have to learn to save, count money and earn money ourselves,” says Sergei.

Let's see what comes of this...

5 school failures

1. Little attention is paid to the development of emotional intelligence.

2. There are not enough opportunities for children to study according to individual plans.

3. DT teaches understanding of the system of norms, but limits self-expression.

4. Distrust in the ability of children and families to control the situation.

5. Overloading teachers with “extra tasks” slows down their professional development.

It is worth recognizing that most of what is taught in school will never be needed in life. Society, lifestyle, technology and everything related to everyday life are changing very quickly, but the school curriculum is still the same. As a result, everyone leaves the school with a certificate, but without practical knowledge that will help them understand the world and survive in it.

The need to develop this skill may come as a surprise, but sometimes in case of danger or emergency you need to be heard. It could cost lives. So we put our fingers in our mouths and learn.

Eating out all the time, in cafes and restaurants, is an expensive pleasure; home-cooked food can save a lot of money, but for this you need to learn how to cook. We start with simple, basic recipes and never stray too far from the stove.

If after friendly get-togethers you turn inside out, it means we don’t know how to drink. You need to learn to determine your dose, which will help you avoid unpleasant consequences not only in terms of physical but also moral well-being.

If the alcohol limit is exceeded, you will have to look for a hangover cure. There are many reliable remedies that save you in the morning. So it is impossible to choose the best, but everyone will have to select what is effective individually. For some it will be a brine, but for others it will be brought back to life by ordinary chicken broth.

There are dozens of “reliable” remedies for hiccups, but for some reason they don’t save you at the crucial moment. And scientists have found that the key to solving the problem is to increase the level of CO2 in the blood. So you have to breathe for 30 seconds into a plastic bag.

For an inexperienced driver, a flat tire is a nightmare, although in reality it is not a big problem. The main thing is to have a spare in the trunk.

The red and white combination looks amazing if we are not talking about wine and a white blouse or shirt. Sprinkle the fabric with a thick layer of kitchen salt, which will absorb the wine, and after an hour it can be removed.

The ability to negotiate is a necessity, but, unfortunately, this is not taught in school. But this often means a lower price for a car, and the career ladder is not so steep, and the punishment is not so harsh, and there are also a lot of business opportunities.

A handshake can tell a lot about a person, so you need to learn how to greet correctly.

Life is not being alone in the jungle. We need people in life, and they need us. But the art of communicating with people is not taught at school. And connections will certainly be needed. Knowledge and skills are good, but meeting the right people is much more important.

The impression made at an interview can cost a good career, so you definitely need to seriously prepare for it. You need to start by searching for general information about the company, and you can finish by practicing your smile in front of the mirror.

The country of residence or business does not matter; taxes will have to be paid everywhere. Therefore, it is worth learning to count and optimize them. You may need to contact a professional.

Paying with a credit card is very convenient, but it is fraught with consequences. Paying in cash is a more painful process from a psychological point of view; parting with a large amount in this case is more difficult. And it’s almost impossible to spend more than you have. But in general, you need to learn how to balance your income and expenses.

Everyone should have a stash; its type and size do not matter. It just has to be. To do this, you will have to learn to save on something. Unfortunately, they don’t teach you how to manage money correctly in school.

Disputes over the need for tips and their size do not subside, although it has long been accepted that they make up 15% of the bill, and with good service 20%.

Managing time correctly is an important skill that is not developed in school. But in vain. It would not only help you study effectively with minimal time spent, but it would also be useful in adult life.

Even for those people who have an active personal life, the first date with a new partner is stressful. What can we say about young boys and girls. You need to learn how to build relationships with the opposite sex, and you can’t do it without practice.

The first date does not always lead to the development of relationships and the creation of a family. Sooner or later you have to say goodbye and leave. But no one, including school, prepares you for how to survive such an emotionally difficult period.

It's one thing to initiate a breakup, it's quite another to get over the fact that you've been abandoned. You will have to experience an incredibly wide range of feelings.

How to travel on a budget

Every man should be able to tie a tie, but in practice everything turns out to be far from the case.

Natural disasters happen at the most inopportune times and can strike you anywhere. Therefore, at least minimal knowledge of survival is simply necessary.

Everyone has seen in films or read in books about how to light a fire using a magnifying glass or flint. But it’s worth not just reading or watching, it’s best to learn.

The ability to cope with stress in modern life is necessary for everyone, both children and adults.
Although it is worth recognizing that sometimes school not only does not teach the necessary things, but sometimes also gives false information. Often you have to live with those taken from the walls of the school.

“To go through life is not to cross a field,” says a familiar proverb. Each of us hits a lot of bumps while going through this difficult and interesting life... And, after another sharp turn in life, you catch yourself thinking that if you had known some secrets a little earlier, you could have laid a straw. This is how life educates us, rewarding us with ups and downs, making us tougher, more self-confident, and ready to overcome new obstacles. What if we were taught much of what life teaches us at school, and there would be fewer mistakes? Let's figure it out what they don't teach us at school, and what could have been known much earlier?

I know that many people are thinking about this. Unfortunately, the education system does not keep up with the times, but today a modern person needs a whole set of skills that must be trained independently in order to be multifunctional.

Why study at school?

I don’t know about you, but we were told that we need to study in order to be literate and educated. Ask your children today why they go to school? What answers will you hear? My eleven-year-old nephew honestly admits that he does not know why he is in school. You start asking leading questions, and with horror you realize that the little man has no goals. And since there are no goals, then he will study under pressure, reluctantly. I think the picture is familiar to everyone.

Ability to manage your time

A daily routine is a great thing; it justifies at least 40 percent of the acquired habits of completing tasks during the day. But this is so little... Many schoolchildren have never heard such a word - time management, not to mention what it means. But it is so important for us to learn how to manage our time, and be able to plan and do everything on time.

Decide

Who was taught to make decisions at school? Probably, someone didn’t even think about the fact that this could be taught. It’s scary... What if the children do something. I remember how in 7th grade we made a collective decision that we would gather as a class alone and congratulate our boys on February 23rd. The holiday was a great success only until the moment when the head teacher “caught” us. The result is deplorable - cool because we threw a party without her knowledge, she decided to refuse us. There was a sea of ​​tears, a parent meeting, shame that fell on our heads, but this was a kind of manifestation of team initiative, which was immediately punished.

Understand the laws

Lawyers can do this, or rather, they study this for 5 whole years. But what about us, ordinary citizens of our country, who are so far from this? And what is the result? We don’t know our rights and our responsibilities. How many troubles befell us after we graduated from school and became independent people, only because we were so inattentive to filling out business papers, reading the contract, ignorance of the legislation of the country in which we live... Today we are obliged to be multifunctional and multidisciplinary, which means we must be legally literate people. This is also a kind of skill, and it also needs to be trained.

Communicate and negotiate

Every person needs knowledge of the basics of psychology; we live in a society, and for full mutual communication, psychology can become an assistant and ally both at home and at work. By the way, when communicating with different people, not only knowledge of psychology, but many other sciences will be useful. How to properly ask for a salary increase? How to be persuasive when communicating with an investor? How to profitably sell a product, an idea, your talent? This is not taught in school. We learn this on our own.

Rhetoric

Literature is good, but today one literature lesson is not enough for a schoolchild. Being able to correctly express your thoughts not only in writing, but also in communicating with other people is a key skill for any creative profession.

Systematize activities

Only a sequence of actions can bring a certain result. It is not chaos, not “how it turns out,” or another favorite expression “war will show the plan,” but the habit of planning and systematizing practical actions that can lead to success. This skill cannot be learned in any one lesson, it is the result of complex training. For example, mind maps allow you to systematize all the “mess in your head”, put it in order, and put it on the shelves. And in general, mind maps are a very powerful tool with which you can make correct and correct decisions.

Is all life a game?

Some schools have such a subject - Theater. Someone will perceive such an item as child's play. Meanwhile, the meaning of children's theater is completely different: in a playful way to express ways of interacting with each other. The basics of theatrical skill can instill in us the ability to control our body, voice, and emotional state. This is very important, especially in light of the discovery of children's talents.

How to be a good parent?

How to build a full-fledged unit of society, and what does a good family and good parents mean? Raised by our parents, we transfer family traditions and foundations into the life of our family, often in a truncated version. The morale of the family largely depends on the quality of morality of the spouses and parents. It would be a good idea for schoolchildren to learn the general principles of building family relationships and to be mentally prepared for this important step in life.

Economics and finance

In German schools, children are taught to keep accounting records at home, thereby instilling the habit of being responsible for keeping track of money. Do you think knowledge of how to handle money would be superfluous for the younger generation?

The list can be continued for a long time, and each person may have his own list of those things that they don't teach at school. We are all different... I know that some schools have interesting systems and training programs, but education in these schools is not cheap. Is such training possible for everyone without exception? Unlikely. One gets the impression that we are not specifically taught to live a quality life because it is easier to manage an uneducated mass of people.

How many years does a person spend in ignorance until he finds answers to all his questions? They say that wisdom comes with time. But time today is an unaffordable luxury, which is always in short supply. Is the main law of the jungle, “survival of the fittest,” the main law of life in our society, the society of modern and civilized people of the 21st century?

But not everything is so sad, friends, because life is in full swing for those who are ready for it))) Let's not wait for drastic changes in the school curriculum, but independently engage in science, self-education and self-development. The benefits of this are enormous! But on one condition, if you do all this with interest and pleasure! As old Einstein so well noted: “Education is what remains when everything we have been taught is forgotten.”

In my favorite Yeralash I found the episode “My Dream School”, would you like to watch it? Join us!