On our site you can find a lot of materials and tips for those wishing to improve the relationship between husband and wife in marriage. For those who want to build their family relationships and their love on a solid foundation, we want to offer useful advice to wives about their love for husband and children.

Now so often they talk about unconditional love for a child, that sometimes it begins to seem as if the whole family is built on this. There is a sad joke: " Today, children are in fashion, but fathers are not.". This is precisely about such family situations when the attention and care of the mother is unequally distributed between the children and their father. If our parental roles are relatively temporary, then the marital roles are for life. After all, when the children grow up and leave the "nest", we will again be left alone with our husband.

Therefore, every time a discontent with a husband arises, a very good way is to ask yourself the question: “How can I change due to this situation?” And then very soon it will be possible to see the “tillage field” inside and forget about the plans to “re-educate” the husband.

The paradox of family life is that the husband is ready to adequately participate in the life of the family and children only when he has a good relationship with his wife.

Ephesians 5:33 "However, each of you must love your wife as yourself, but your wife must respect your husband."

The fact is that the husband “reads” (receives, feels) the wife’s love only through self-respect. Do not compare with yourself: we women, others.

1. Respect the territory of your husband, then he will respect your territory. No need to clean up your husband’s desk without his permission; don’t throw away your husband’s clothes without his knowledge (for example, an old T-shirt or gym shoes). His territory is also his personal phone, computer, his pages and folders on the computer, his diary, diaries, personal letters and so on.

2. The next tip about personal space. The personal space of the husband is also his work and his illness. Without his consent, one cannot share with anyone about his work, especially about the problems his husband has at work (if any). Also, without the consent of the husband, you can not share with anyone about his illnesses or sores, if any. Even asking for them. This will be extremely disrespectful to her husband.

3. A simple but important advice to wives - do not comment on the husband’s habits with other people, even with relatives or with your children.

4. Listen to your husband without interrupting. This is also a sign of respect for the husband from the wife. I read somewhere: " Love is not when a bouquet of roses is brought to you and you smell them. Love is when they tell you all day about 95 gasoline and you listen to it».

5. Do not make comments to your husband! None! Bring the gist of the question in other ways and maneuvers or clarifying questions.

6. Better “collect” the dignity of the husband, and not his shortcomings. It is noted: if a wife constantly scolds her husband for shortcomings, then they intensify with him. If the wife praises and observes his good sides, then the husband becomes even better. I advise you to make a notebook and write down the best qualities of your husband, so as not to forget about them. It helps to be grateful in difficult times!

7. A very important tip - admire your husband! Not only do we wives need compliments and words of admiration, but the husband also needs our admiration. In there is an example when a smart, wise, rich and powerful woman in power openly admires the achievements of a man. This is the queen of Sheba. She specially came from far away to personally express Solomon her admiration.

The third book of Kings 10: 7-8 “I did not believe the words, until I came, and my eyes did not see: and, behold, I was not even half told; you have more wisdom and wealth than I heard. “Blessed are your people and blessed are your servants who always stand before you and hear your wisdom!”

8. Sexual relations are also a very important moment for the manifestation of love and respect for the husband on the part of the wife. Therefore, if the husband in bed is waiting for sex, then you need to give him. A husband should not be deprived of an intimate life. And he should not feel like a miserable petitioner, turning to his wife for affection and intimacy.

The husband must be sexually satisfied. Otherwise, the wife sins by pushing her husband to all kinds of temptations. In general, sex for a man is a very important moment for his self-awareness, his masculinity and worldview. Therefore, plan your schedule so that there is strength for the husband, and you do not spend everything on work or children.

9. The modern world is such that society gives indulgences to women, but not to men. If a man does not earn a lot of money, he is called a "loser." If a man cannot afford to buy a car, they say about him: "he is not a man." Therefore, it is not necessary to become like this world and hang "labels" on your husband. If a wife respects her husband, then everyone around him respects him. Including children respect their father.

10. Children are a wonderful mirror of family relationships. From the behavior of children, you can immediately determine what reputation the father has in this family. Since children very subtly feel who the decisive word is in the family.

I will give some examples of the incorrect upbringing of children by mothers in whom there is no respectful attitude of a wife to her husband and children to her father.

• The husband forbade something to the child, and he goes to his mother for another decision.
• The child believes (and declares this to everyone) that mom knows better than dad.
• If dad and mom are together, but, having received instructions from the father, the child looks at mom waiting for the final command for action.
• The child allows himself to discuss his father’s actions aloud.

“Our daddy was lying on the couch all evening yesterday” or “Our dad’s hands are growing from the wrong place” and so on. It’s immediately obvious that these are “adult” phrases - mother’s! The authority of the father is brought up much earlier, when the children are still small. After all, when children grow up, then in adolescence, mother will not be able to cope with them alone.

11. Also maintain the reputation of your husband among acquaintances and relatives (especially your relatives). In this regard, our mothers and close friends are very “dangerous”.

12. And the last advice to wives - be sure to forgive your husband! For all! Easy and fast! Do not forget that we also make mistakes: we spill milk, break dishes, put stains on clothes, forget something, are late somewhere, and so on. To make mistakes is normal in our life!
  Being a wife is a big and responsible job, as relationships in the family are not built on their own. It is necessary to work on them!

“And for everything, thank God in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

We hope that these tips for wives will help strengthen your relationship with your husband. You can apply these tips, but remember that all people are different. Each woman and each man has his own character and his own life experience. There are no universal tips for either wives or husbands.

January 2018
  Susanna Anayan, Moscow Church of Christ

Psychologist, leading corporate trainings on motivation, personal growth and female development in the family and in business, author of the book “Wife-Director. Or competent family management. ”

In the life of modern families, divorces often happen. Well ... what has been done is done. Life goes on. Men find new companions, women find new men. A new happy family is being formed. But the past cannot be erased and erased. But is it necessary and for what? The man has and remains an ex-wife (and often they have joint children). How to treat her? Do I need to communicate with her? How to trust a man when he goes for a walk with his children from his first marriage?

Let's figure it all out.

You are his wife, not her

Before talking about the attitude towards her, you need to understand yourself. The main thing is to find, understand and accept the state in which you are clearly aware: you have a family! You are his wife! And you have the right to ask, inquire and demand (if necessary) from your man to talk about what you do not understand and what worries you.

His past life

This is not to be erased. Yes, he had a family. And, most likely, they had feelings for each other. It is impossible to escape from the past or hide it. The only thing that can be done is to accept the past that was.

He helps an ex-family

It is wrong to forbid a man to help his former family from all sides. He has children from a previous marriage, and to help him continue to help his children is wise. For some, assistance to the former spouse is acceptable (more often in the case when she is single and there is no new relationship). But here I would strongly recommend that all women make this topic a common one. I am sure that a spouse should participate in this. She can accurately tell a man that she would like to bring the question of helping her ex-wife to the category of general family issues.

Ex-wife

Regarding the ex-wife herself, it is not necessary to have close friendships with her, try to make friends with her and make contact. This is at the absolute desire and discretion of the current spouse.

Yes, she is the mother of your husband’s children. But she is a complete stranger to you. But still ... Many wives are able to competently keep a “finger on the pulse” in order to at least know the phone number of his ex and the address of residence.

And if suddenly ...

From my practice, I know stories when, after several years, ex-wives, without having a personal life, suddenly change their mind about their ex-wife and prepare a long and insidious plan for his return.

But this, of course, is not easy, because he already has a different family, maybe even children. Therefore, they do it methodically and patiently. They begin to invite more often to sit or take a walk with the children. They come up with the reasons for a difficult domestic life - either the faucet is leaking, the washing machine has broken, and there is no one to turn to ...

What to do here?

Calm and only calm! I'm on your side, dear wives!

First, get closer to his child from a previous marriage. You can make friends with your son or daughter, and then you will no longer have any difficulty walking together with the three.

Together with your husband, try to choose gifts for the child. Kind, dear wife, who accepts both the past and present of her husband!

Moreover, when you are ready for joint children, your husband’s attention will in any case be directed to your baby.

And it can only irritate her

I do not exclude that such attention can seriously anger the husband's ex-wife. Well, if she begins to launch heavy artillery into the battle (seduction, flirtation, frequent calls asking her to come to help her), then here she needs to talk with her husband. Directly, honestly, frankly.

Say it bothers you and you don't like it. I am sure that if a man loves you, he will understand your feelings. And this means that he will do everything to maintain a trusting relationship and your family, so he will resolve this issue in the best way.

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Father Oleg Molenko

Instructions for husband and wife about their rights and responsibilities in a truly Christian marriage

God bless

Life itself, its unexpected turns, events, incidents and our reaction to them often pose before people living in a Christian marriage a number of important issues, without pious resolution of which life in a marriage is doomed to torment, and marriage itself - to destruction.

We must first of all establish firm foundations for marriage and relationships in it. These foundations are affirmed on the commandments of the Lord, the directions of Scripture, and the teaching of the Church of Christ. At the same time, we should know that all types of relationships that are common in marriage need our understanding and skillful use to overcome all the dangers that arise against marriage.

First of all, we must know that the institution of marriage itself comes from God. God created the male and female gender so that representatives of these sexes get married and stick to each other. This is why marriage is based on three pillars:

1. on faith in God;
2. in obedience to His word (commandments);
3. on indissolubility of marriage (fidelity).

Matthew 19:
  4 He answered and said to them, Have you not read that He who first created the man and woman created them?
  5 And he said: Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall be two with one flesh,
  6 so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. So, what God combined, that man does not separate.

From these words of Christ God, it is very important for us to clarify the following truths for ourselves:

1. God created the man and woman, and He created them as equal partners for the marriage;
2. Marriage and the creation of a new family on its basis prevail over the relations of the persons entering into marriage with their parents. In order for the new family to appear and stand, one must certainly leave the old one, where the bride and groom were as children;
3. God does not indicate any union in marriage, but rather the attachment of a husband to his wife and their union into one flesh. It is the husband who must cling to his wife and keep this cling;
4. Since the Lord God Himself combines people in a marriage, He demands the indissolubility of the marriage on the part of man.

A marriage union can fall apart because of people’s fault if at least one pillar holding the marriage is knocked out by their actions.

A marriage breaks up if one or both members of a marriage are cheating on God and losing faith in Him;
A marriage is destroyed if one or two people who enter it cease to obey God and obey His commandments and will;
A marriage is destroyed even by a single betrayal with another person of the spouse, i.e. the sin of her adultery, or the adulterous way of life of her spouse (a one-time betrayal of her husband, healed by repentance and correction, does not destroy the marriage).

Matthew 19: 9:   “But I tell you: he who divorces his wife not for adultery and marries another, commits adultery; and marrying a divorced woman commits adultery. ”

You cannot divorce your wife except the guilt of adultery on her part, betrayal of faith in God, or betrayal of obedience to the commandments and the will of God.

A husband cannot marry another woman after a divorce from his first wife for any other reason than the ones indicated above.

You cannot marry a divorced woman for the three reasons stated above, communicated to us by God Himself through His revelation in the Holy Scriptures.

The Holy Church of Christ points to some technical features, due to which marriage can be dissolved.

One of the reasons for this termination may be the clarification of the fact that the spouses were in close blood relationship, but did not know this.

The second reason for the dissolution of the marriage of the Church can be found in one of the spouses incurable infertility. In relation to the barren spouse, the commandment of God about the indissolubility of marriage is not attached. The term for infertility testing established by the Church is a minimum of three calendar years (or more). If after three years (or more, up to seven years) one of the spouses is unable to conceive a child due to his infertility that has opened in the marriage, then at the insistence of the other spouse who wants to have children, the marriage is dissolved. If the spouses agree to live without their children, then the marriage is preserved. The subsequent change in the desire of a healthy spouse to terminate the marriage due to infertility in the second half is no longer accepted. The decision to divorce due to infertility should be taken by a healthy spouse on time (i.e. starting from three and within seven years). The right to leave a marriage with a barren spouse can be used by a healthy spouse only once, i.e. if during the seven years of marriage together (the years of the husband or wife’s stay in the war, in the campaign or in prison may not be taken into account) the right to leave the marriage was not used, then it shall lose its force.

The third reason that the Church can divorce spouses is the discovery of the fact that one of the spouses is constantly terrorizing their half or inciting them to commit serious sins, such as, for example, atheism, kingdom, witchcraft, murder, theft, robbery or robbery, sexual perversions, child molestation, drug or alcohol abuse, etc. In all these cases, the decision is made by the church court to obtain irrefutable evidence of the guilt of one of the spouses.

Persons whose marriage was terminated by the Church for the above reasons (except for those charged with crimes) are entitled to remarry with the blessing of the Church.

The last possible reason for the termination of marriage is the death of one of the spouses. A widow or widower has the right to remarry.

Rom. 7:
  2 A married woman is bound by law to a living husband; and if the husband dies, she is freed from the law of marriage.
  3 Therefore, if with a living husband she marries another, she is called an adulteress; if the husband dies, she is free from the law, and will not be an adulteress, marrying another husband.

The third marriage of one of the spouses is allowed by condescension to the extreme weakness of such a person. Such a marriage is considered shameful and is not married, but is formed only by the blessing of the Church through the hierarch. Church penance is imposed on persons who have married a third time or have entered into a marriage for the first or second time, but with a person who has previously been married twice.

The creation of marriage should be taken in the most serious way, and therefore, it is first of all that we pray for the gift of our spouse for salvation. In addition, she should examine the candidacy of the spouse for possible serious consequences hanging on him (her) due to childbirth or personal sinful life before marriage. Those who want to marry must tell each other the whole truth about themselves, whatever it may be.

The aggravation of a marriage may subsequently be affected by such facts that have occurred in the life of one or both spouses:

1. Unbelief or crooked faith of the genus;
2. Severe and mortal sins that were in the family;
3. Demon communication that occurred in the family or at the person entering into marriage;
4. Slutty life before marriage and the practice of sexual perversions;
5. Committing homicide or infanticide in the womb;
6. The presence of suicides, fathers killers, fratricides, regicide, church destroyers, heresiarchs, blasphemers, blasphemers, sorcerers, rebels, godless, treacherous, etc .;
7. The presence of severe hereditary diseases or curses.

If by the grace of God the marriage took place and the newly-minted husband and wife began to live in a union of peace, harmony and love, then, due to the envy of demons and evil people, as well as the weakness and inexperience of the spouses themselves, various tensions and conflicts begin to occur, which, if left uneducated, can lead to to the worst and saddest fruits.

That is why it is good to strengthen the marriage, in addition to performing the church sacrament, to enlist the following means:

1. Enlist the blessing of the parents on the part of the husband and wife (if possible). It is not necessary that the parents be members of the Church or have faith in common with the children;
2. Have the husband and wife of the same spiritual father or confessor, with whom both confess and resolve all issues and conflicts that arise;
3. To have friendship with a good, persistent, friendly and experienced family.

In matrimonial life, there are such layers or types of relationships:

1. Sorbing;
2. Human communication;
3. Marital love and consent;
4. Family world;
5. Sexual intercourse;
6. Sexual dissatisfaction of one of the spouses;
7. Pressure from one of the spouses;
8. Tension between spouses;
9. Blackmail by one of the spouses;
10. Conflict between spouses;
11. Contradictions and disagreements among spouses;
12. Misunderstanding between spouses, loss of unanimity and unanimity;
13. Distrust and suspicion between spouses;
14. Painful jealousy of one of the spouses;
15. Loneliness together;
16. Material and everyday difficulties;
17. Disagreements regarding children and their upbringing;
18. Vampirism of one of the spouses;
19. Slave position of wife;
20. Henpecked position of the husband;
21. Relations from man-made;
22. Callousness and ignoring;
23. Relationship disorder;
24. Rejection between spouses;
25. Cooling relationships and mutual love;
26. Disgusting wife;
27. The alienness of the husband or wife (when you feel the spouse or spouse as a stranger);
28. The collapse of marriage and family.

As we can see, most of the above types of relationships are negative and can serve to aggravate relations between spouses. That is why both spouses need and must constantly struggle to preserve their marriage and overcome all the negative aspects that arise in their relationship. You need to master the art of overcoming conflicts.

Both spouses should always remember that we do not live in paradise, that our earthly life is short-lived, that the spouse is an imperfect person, surrounded by his weaknesses and passions. It must be remembered that we are in a constant war with demons, the struggle against our sinful passions, evil inclinations and harmful skills. It should help each other in this struggle, and not fight each other.

On the basis of the words of Scripture that a wife should be afraid of her husband and obey in everything, she cannot make her her slave and the satisfactory of her passions and lusts. If the husband is likened in a relationship to Christ, then the wife is likened to the Church. The Church is not a slave of Christ, but His pure and holy Bride, whom He loves, cares for, protects, protects and communicates everything that is necessary.

If a husband behaves towards his wife like Christ does to the Church, then the wife must obey such a husband and obey him in everything related to his authority or common affairs. She should be afraid to upset her husband or lose his disposition or himself. If the husband behaves differently than Christ towards the Church, he does not ascend to his status as a husband and therefore cannot demand unquestioning obedience and obedience from his wife in everything. So, the husband’s whole concern is not to leave his status, to love and provide all his necessities for his wife and his children.

A big and harmful mistake on the part of the husband is when he, by his autocracy, deprives his wife of her family inheritance, in which she has freedom and rest from possible pressure on his part. You can’t leave a wife without her female area. It is impossible for a husband to meddle with his opinion and desire in women's and mother’s affairs without extreme need. In her female field, the wife should be free and bear all responsibility for the well-being and order in her field.

The purely female and maternal areas include:

1. Kitchen and cooking for the family;
2. The female part of marital (sexual) relations (i.e., the wife has the right to demand that the husband fulfill his marital duties and satisfy her in this part of the relationship);
3. Cleaning, cleanliness, neatness, decoration and decoration (design) in the house;
4. Laundry, repair and manufacturing of clothes;
5. Maternal care for bearing a child, raising and raising a baby (up to 6 years old);
6. Caring for a sick husband and sick children;
7. The female part of the work of receiving guests and preparing for the holidays and family celebrations.

The husband, at the request and request of his wife, can help with his participation in the female part, but do everything according to the decision and discretion of the wife. He should not impose anything of his own in this area, but only humbly ask, for example, to cook such and such.

A serious mistake of the husband is his inattention to the sexual satisfaction of his wife. Selfishness in this matter on the part of the husband not only puts the wife in a painful position, but also provokes her to detach from him and become attached to another man who satisfies her female needs with full measure. The apostle Paul was concerned about this problem of his wards families. Here's how he instructed them on this important issue:

1 Cor. 7:
  2 But, in order to avoid fornication, each have his own wife, and each have his own husband.
  3 Husband give wife due favor; like a wife to a husband.
  4 The wife does not have power over her body, but the husband; equally, the husband does not have power over his body, but the wife.
  5 Do not shy away from each other, unless by consent, for a while, to practice fasting and prayer, and then be together again so that Satan does not tempt you with your temperance.
  6 However, this I have said as permission, and not as a command.

If a husband does not need to invade a purely female area without extreme need, then all the more, his wife should not do this, i.e. invade a purely masculine area. The wife should be content with the fact that the husband deigns to tell her about his affairs and not pry even more. Faith and complete trust in a husband in his affairs are a great advantage for a wise wife.

A malicious mistake on the part of the wife is the humiliation of the manhood of her husband. It’s bad when this happens in private with him, worse when it happens with children and very bad when it happens with extraneous witnesses.

In no case should a wife reproach her husband for earning little money and cannot provide her and children with whatever they want. One cannot also reproach one's husband for his weaknesses and shortcomings.

The big mistake is the quarrelsomeness of the wife. Being a “saw” wife is unacceptable for a Christian. If such a quality exists, then it must be resolutely eradicated by repentance and prayer, as well as careful observation of oneself and self-restraint. Language control is very important for the wife, for the wife’s unbridled tongue can do much harm to her husband and the whole family.

A common mistake is the nagging and complaints of a wife about life and everyday troubles before her husband. If such an attitude lasts a long time, then it can turn into the so-called “vampirism”, when through the whining and complaints from the passion of self-pity, the wife begins to “feed” imperceptibly for herself and gets used to it. Thus, the wife can keep her husband in a depressed or painful state, or even simply be taken to the grave. The second way of such a replenishment is a conflict or a quarrel arranged by a wife for her husband, which are most often over completely unimportant trifles or far-fetched quibbles. Demons immediately mix into the beginning of the quarrel and inflate it to great conflict and hostility. Many sins are committed by spouses during such a conflict. Husband and wife insult each other verbally, shout at each other, wish each other harm, threaten, or even curse in a rage. Often, one of them regrets that he got married or got married. Added to this is the threat of filing for divorce and leaving home. Sometimes a wife begins to defiantly collect her or her husband's things in order to put them out the door. Christians like this should never be allowed.

It is unacceptable in a verbal skirmish to humiliate the parents of a husband (or wife), no matter what their lives and how they relate to your family.

A big problem for any wife is the so-called female craftiness. This is such an evil quality that it is specifically mentioned in scripture about him and the crafty wife. A Christian wife must struggle in every way with her craftiness and eradicate it in herself until it disappears completely. It must contrast its cunning with silence in the mind, humility, simplicity, quietness and patience. These virtues, together with repentance and prayer, will not leave even a trace of guile.

Out of her cunning, the wife often allows blackmail against her husband. Thus, she tries to get from him what she wants and what he does not provide to her. Items of blackmail can be their own children, preventing a husband from marrying, refusing to support an important business for a husband, which depends on his wife, and much more.

A wife should not deny her husband his desire to be with her. If there is a good reason (for example, illness or extreme fatigue) that does not allow the wife to allow her husband to come to her, then she should calmly explain everything to him and ask him to tolerate until her full recovery. Frequent and unreasonable refusals of a wife in conjugal intercourse can provoke her husband to seek outside satisfaction. This also applies to the husband. Here, both husband and wife should well remember the words of the Apostle Paul that each of them does not own his body in this regard, but gives way to his spouse.

However, a wife can push her husband to the side not only by refusing marital relations. Such factors can serve, for example, the lack of affection, tenderness, attention, responsiveness, warmth and other things with respect to her husband in relation to her husband, from which coziness and comfort for the husband are created. The wife is simply obliged to create such an atmosphere of warmth and comfort in the house so that the husband is always drawn to his house and to her. To do this, it is important for her to take care of herself, to maintain neatness in the house and to cook well, varied and tasty. Speechlessness of speech, unsightly appearance of the wife, untidiness of her hair and clothes, bad breath from the mouth or body, severity in relation to the husband - all this contributes to his cooling to the wife.

A wife should always be friendly, modest, caring, attentive, laconic, amiable, sincere, humble and obedient to her husband.

A great evil in the relationship of spouses is the wife’s attempt to lead and manage her husband. In people, this situation is called "keeping her husband under the heel." Such a situation not only humiliates the husband, but also the wife herself, and acts in a destructive way on this family.

Both husband and wife should know and remember that the main source of any temptation or indignation of the world between them is demons.

You should know that it is very rare for God to let demons attack both husband and wife at the same time. Most often, demons come across to attack one of them. That’s why, if a husband or wife notices that the behavior of the second half has become abnormal (for example, a person became aroused, angry, raised his voice, started screaming, cursing, finding fault, etc.), then you need to realize that demons attacked your second half and loved one. Having realized this, he must act correctly, because the task of demons is to try to involve the spouse (spouse) into the quarrel and conflict through the spouse (s) involved. An unused spouse (spouse) must not allow this and immediately begin to resolutely fight for his spouse (spouse). It is necessary to fight not with a person who has come under the influence of demons, but with the demons themselves. That is why it is important for an unused spouse not to respond with a causticity to the spouse’s causticity, her (his) slander, insults and other bad actions and words, but instead of this, immediately begin to pray for the spouse. If you respond to your wife (husband), then it is very gentle, gentle, with unbecoming love and humility, understanding that now you are talking not so much with your wife (husband) as with her (his) spiritual illness (or demons). Humility and fervent prayer for an excited spouse will certainly bear fruit. God's help will surely come, and demons will be forced to retreat. Then you will regain your husband (wife) as he or she usually is. Thus, a real victory is achieved over demons, who are trying in every possible way to bring discord into any friendly family.

Without sacrifice, without concessions to each other, without speedy reconciliation with asking each other for forgiveness, neither husband nor wife will be able to defeat the enemies of our salvation that are at war with us.

Compliance, willingness to give in, attitude towards compliance - this is an excellent quality and reliable tool that allows you to resolve many conflicts between spouses that begin at their very beginning.

It is impossible to concede only with regard to God, faith, the Church and the work of salvation. Otherwise, it is better to infringe on yourself, if only to maintain peace and harmony in the family.

If a misfortune happens and the husband (wife) becomes ill or gets injured, then the wife (husband) must not only take care of the speedy recovery of the loved one, but also take on those household chores that the failed spouse performed.

It is absolutely unacceptable for husband and wife to assault. If any fundamental disagreement does arise, you should immediately turn to your confessor for help.

The presence of children in the family imposes additional obligations on the husband and wife in relation to them.

It is unacceptable for one of the spouses to humiliate the other spouse in the presence of children. Children easily grasp this disrespect and often begin to use the confrontation of parents for their own purposes.

It is unacceptable for children to fight, swear and insult each other. In the presence of children, it is unacceptable that the husband and wife express any opposite things to them. Parents should always be unanimous and unanimous in everything to their children. Husband and wife are required to support each other with respect to each of their children. The disagreement of parents, let alone quarrels and enmity between them, will have the worst effect on the upbringing of their children. Children should grow up in an atmosphere of family peace, harmony, unanimity, unanimity, love, tenderness, affection and friendliness. Strictness in relation to children and their punishment should take place according to need. Punishment should always be supported by two parents. It must be balanced, measured and fair. Nothing aggravates the soul of a child like an unfair punishment by his parents. When punishing a child, the father or mother must explain to him the reason for this punishment and what they require of him. Moreover, they should not punish the child out of a state of anger and irritation, but be calm and testify to their love for the punished child.

It is unacceptable for a father or mother to walk naked in front of her young child of any gender, much less let him see the act of their conjugal copulation. Father and mother should strongly support each other’s authority and respect for each of their children.

Parents should be able to distinguish between their children the reasons for their arousal or any abnormal behavior. A distinction must be made between natural causes (e.g. illness, pain, or malaise) from demonic influences. In the case of the latter, he must take the appropriate means - prayer for the child, overshadowing him with the sign of the Cross, sprinkling it and drinking it with blessed water, anointing it with blessed oil, putting a cross on it or the shrines in the house. In serious and protracted cases, she should turn to her confessor for help, asking him to perform the deed of reading or a suitable prayer for his child, as well as a special commemoration for the liturgy.

A very powerful, strong, effective and fruitful means of helping your child is to read the Jesus prayer over him. To do this, it should be convenient to sit down yourself and put (lay) the child so that you can lay both your hands on his head. If there are two children, then each of them can lay their hand. You can just hold a small baby in your arms. Well before that, moisten your palms with baptismal holy water and allow them to dry. Prayer should be read aloud, in a calm voice and a measured, soothing tone. Two versions of Jesus prayer can be applied:

1. "G.I.H.S. have mercy on us ”;
2. "G.I.H.S. have mercy on the baby (lad) Namerenek (i.e. called the name of the child).

Any version of the said prayer (I personally prefer the first in its brevity and coverage of all family members) should be said with attention and contrition at least 1,000 times.

This remedy is so powerful, holy and unique that it can not only remove any damage or demonic action from the child, but heal the disease, calm the nerves, eliminate excitement, improve memory, reason, mental abilities, ability to successfully study and much more. If you do not regret the prayer for your child, and add to our 1-1.5 thousand Jesus prayers at least 300-500 prayers, “Our Father” and the same amount “Hail to the Virgin Mary,” this remedy can become miraculous. With it, you can save your child from the evil eye, old spoilage, current illness, disorders in his body, reduce high fever and even out blood pressure. For example, unpleasant warts, papillomas and other unhealthy skin formations can go away. Wounds and burns can heal quickly and well, tumors go away, pass bumps, bruises and swelling. In any case, such a reading of these prayers over your child will bring him and you only benefit. Work on invoking the Name of God, and It will work on improving the condition of your child.

The end to this work and to our God is glory!

Probably, the eternal debate of men about how they see their ideal darling will never fade away. Every woman wants to become not just a good wife, but an ideal one. However, first you need to figure out what the main qualities that the ideal girl should have? Indeed, in different eras, in different countries, these concepts may not coincide or even be radically different, everyone sees the ideal in their own way. There are several iron rules that every wife should know and adhere to, who wants to approach the ideal or become one.

What a woman should be: 5 qualities of an ideal wife

An ideal is a combination of many factors that change over time. At different times, ideals were radically different, but there are several qualities that will always be relevant. The ideal wife through the eyes of a man is not just a beautiful doll with a beautiful figure and makeup, it is a combination of external and internal beauty. She should be an interesting conversationalist, partner, assistant, beautiful and well-groomed girl. Many believe that to achieve all this is simply impossible, however, this is not so.

There are five main qualities that men appreciate and admire the fairer sex:

• Wisdom. There is such wisdom that comes only over the years, and some are able to develop it in themselves, and at the same time be restrained, meaningful, learn from the mistakes of others, constantly improve, develop. Such a girl will become the idol of many, and the wife will inspire her husband not with bold deeds.
• External data. The main thing is grooming. A man will not admire a spouse with a dirty head, in stretched sportswear and sloppy manicure, therefore, external beauty is one of the main tricks and steps to the ideal.
• Thrift. A skilled housewife in the kitchen will always please a man with delicious and exquisite dishes, and he will appreciate her, love her even more. A girl must be diversified, have time to do a lot.

• Ability to support. Men, although they are called the stronger sex, are by no means such. They also want feminine warmth, attention and support, so you need to be able to cheer up in time, give strength, an impetus to new achievements. Girl friend is one of the qualities that will help to approach the ideal.
• Enthusiasm and optimism. A constantly dull, depressed spouse is unlikely to positively affect her husband. The ideal wife is cheerful, cheerful, understanding humor.

Women's wisdom

There is a proverb: “There is no ideal relationship. There is female wisdom not to notice male stupidities. ” Perhaps this is true, because a wise wife is not only experience gained over the years, but also constant work on herself. There are several interesting factors that will help you become a wiser woman and answer the question of how to become an ideal wife.

• If you graduated from Harvard (or something like that), you have the best job, you know several languages, and your husband cannot boast of such skills, then you should not demonstrate and humiliate your man. A wise girl never screams about her experience, does not boast to her man.
• Being a strong-minded girl, it is sometimes worth being a little weaker in front of your husband. A wise spouse will support, help, and when necessary - will be a weak domestic cat.
• The ability to listen and hear are the qualities of an ideal wife. The wisdom is to learn from others, to constantly evolve, and for this you need to hear someone other than yourself.
• The ideal representative of the fairer sex has her friends, her social circle, interests that should remain a mystery to her husband. This can be drawing, sports, learning languages \u200b\u200band much more. Wisdom is what we learn all our lives, so you should not wait for old age to find one of the qualities of an ideal woman.

Grooming and sexuality

Not all the qualities of an ideal woman are within us; the appearance of his wife plays a big role for a man. If you want your husband to be proud of you, as well as admire, be always on top. In the morning, it is best to wake up an hour before its rise, put yourself in order, prepare a delicious breakfast, and not sleep until the last minute, and then gallop with a groomed haircut, sleepy eyes rushing about the apartment.

Even the most practical girls who prefer a sporty style of clothing should be the owners of at least several pairs of heels. Skinny jeans, a shirt and stilettos are an effective way to attract the attention of individuals of the opposite sex. When sexuality comes from girls, no guy can resist it. Husbands get used to seeing their wives at home, in negligence, and if you show him a completely different side of the coin, he will appreciate such a reincarnation. It is important not to be afraid to be beautiful, go to a manicure, beauty salon or arrange such procedures at home.

To look perfect and attractive for your husband, throw out stretched T-shirts, bathrobes, sportswear. At home - you are the queen. Get a pair of beautiful satin shorts, t-shirts or a neat knitted dressing gown. The hair collected in a bun is also not an ideal appearance, it is better to give preference to a neat ponytail, or buy a shell hairpin that diversifies the home hairstyle.

Good cooking and housekeeping skills

Since ancient times, a woman is the guardian of the hearth. Much is changing, but an economic, cook-able wife is appreciated at all times. The ideal woman who does not know how to cook, in the eyes of a man ceases to be one. It is not necessary to surprise your husband with Mediterranean delights, although if you have culinary talents, such qualities will be appreciated.

The smell of a baked pie, cleanliness in the house, comfort and coziness can be created only by a woman, therefore, in order to get one step closer to ideality, do not be lazy to take care of the house and husband. It is important that he is always full, even if breakfast is at 6 in the morning, therefore, in order not to torment himself with constant cooking, the ideal wife makes preparations from the evening, and in the morning it remains only to warm up.

Sharing household chores is also a great idea. A husband may be responsible for preparing meat dishes and more involved in cleaning, to make life easier for his beloved wife. However, it’s worth presenting this idea with imagination, serving it with the right sauce so that the man has no reason to refuse you.

Belief in a man, support for a spouse

The qualities of an ideal wife are also faith in your beloved man, support in difficult situations. The embrace of the beloved wife will warm and cheer up any man. To become an ideal wife, you need to understand your soulmate, be near, give compliments. Taunts, humiliations are the lot of weak women, and the wise act completely differently, finding cause for praise in any event.

To be an ideal wife, one role of a lover is not enough, you need to become a friend, buddy, ally. When there is something to talk about with a woman, it’s a good sign for a man, such women are valued, respected, and in combination with other positive qualities, they become ideal in every sense of the word. Do not be afraid to thank your husband, talk about how brave, smart he is and what right decisions he made.

Good sense of humor and optimism

Depression, bad mood, lack of sense of humor - these qualities have never adorned any woman. An ideal wife should be cheerful, positive, understand jokes and not be offended by trifles. Sometimes you should play along with your husband, even if you do not quite understand his humor.

Men love positive women who know how to laugh, have fun and sometimes be reckless. Doing crazy things is good. One life - laugh, joke, love, do not let yourself get bored in the company of each other. To diversify and add extreme sports to your relationship, make unusual surprises, arrange unexpected and non-standard holidays, original dates.

Watch the video how cool the wife organized a surprise for her husband.

Elena Kuznetsova, director of the Vladimir Me and you dating agency, a family psychologist, and an interpersonal relations consultant, named six typical reasons why husbands grow cold towards their wives.

1. Birth of a child

This is perhaps one of the common reasons for a spouse. In 85% of cases, the couple simply can not stand the "test of the baby": people cease to belong to themselves, endless sleepless nights, nerves, routine. A woman does not watch herself, she feels bad and so on. Plus, it mixes with the baby.

“The birth of a baby is a global test of strength. Many people can’t stand it, ”says the psychologist.

According to Kuznetsova, after the appearance of the child, the situation in the family usually develops as follows. A woman who, after childbirth, is already physically squeezed, does not have time to recover and plunges into worries about the baby. She does not have the strength to and. Then, when the cub grows up, it takes even more time: now it is necessary not only to feed, walk and put to sleep, you need to play with it. And again, the young mother is all absorbed in the child, and her husband is in the background.

“Representatives of the stronger sex are often jealous:“ Why does the wife play with the child, but not with me? ” they think. , ladies should not forget this truth and ignore their "eldest". The balance must be respected and time must be taken to pay attention to the spouse, ”says the consultant on interpersonal relations.

2. Turning a wife into a "aunt"

Having married, many women cease to monitor themselves and make efforts in order to. The beautiful lady who once conquered the heart of her chosen one suddenly suddenly caved in and turned into an aunt in a worn dressing gown, without makeup and hair. The man simply and cools towards her.

3. Seized life

The notorious way of life, which broke many love boats, is also the reason for the cooling of men in marriage. Problems arise almost immediately after the wedding, when people begin to "mark" their territory. For example, a woman got used to the fact that no clothes were lying around the bed, and now men's socks suddenly appeared here. Scandal. A common theme for the event is garbage that has not been removed from the bucket or an unclosed tube of toothpaste. It seems to be trifles, but from these trifles the everyday life together just develops.

According to Kuznetsova, this is no psychological stress, when one person lets another person into his apartment for permanent residence, this is elementary with someone else. But it should be understood that if people decide to live together, then the second person has every right to be in a common territory not in cramped conditions. The man and woman will have to agree on where, what things will stand, and on which shelf, whose clothes are lying. It is better if a woman takes over the mission of arranging everyday life and eliminates all disagreements regarding the organization of order in the house. At the same time, do not forget that there is too much to demand from them at once. They need to be accustomed to order gradually. Otherwise, the woman will stumble on enormous resistance from the representative of the stronger sex.

4. I realized that I liked the guy-girl relationship more

In fact, this is another component of the “everyday life,” which, however, is not connected with toothbrushes, but directly with interpersonal relationships, when a woman begins to control a man’s behavior on the lawful rights of his wife. For example, it is forbidden to see friends, or requires a detailed report as to where her missus was from 8 to 9 pm. All this, the man quickly gets bored, and he sincerely regrets that he legitimized relations with his girlfriend, who has now imposed.

5. Dissolution in a man

As a rule, in each pair one of the partners loves, and the other -. If a woman loves more than a man, then this union is unlikely to last long, or - he will not be happy for a woman. At first, a man likes that a woman looks at him adoringly and catches every word. But after the wedding, when the stamp "mine" is on, the representative of the stronger sex becomes indifferent to the adoration of his wife. He begins to get bored and looks to the side.

“A classic mistake is when a woman enters into a relationship in which she is more interested than the man. Most likely, the husband in this situation over time. If possible, it is necessary to maintain parity relations so that not one of the partners neglects the other and does not wipe his feet on him, ”Kuznetsova explains.

The topic of “dissolution in a man” also refers to a woman’s refusal from hobbies that she had before the wedding. Some ladies enter the role of wives in such a way that they lose interest in everything that is not connected with their marriage: they stop going to the gym or pool. Throwing their hobbies, the young women lose themselves. Obsessed solely with the family and, having no more other hobbies and aspirations, they stop.

Helpful information

   Elena Kuznetsova, director of the Vladimir Me and you dating agency, family psychologist. Phone 8-920-909-62-35. Call on weekdays from 11:00 to 19:00.

6. Parental intervention

Sometimes a man cools down to family life due to the fact that too often the couple’s parents interfere in it. They give tips on how to cook soup, drill a wall, hang curtains or wash clothes. And sometimes the newlyweds themselves ask for “consultations” of mothers and fathers. Cultivating the lack of independence, they do not even notice how they contribute. The constant presence of "third parties" forces you to step aside and transfer the reins of government into the wrong hands. Interest in family life is quickly dying away.

If you want to offer your own topics regarding interpersonal relationships, write to the address of the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir: [email protected] .